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FREE Volume 9 Issue 164 May 21, 2009

Softball

Dreams


Serving La Crosse, Onalska, Holmen, Barre Mills, Stoddard WI La Crescent, Hokah, Winona MN

Second Supper Newspaper, LLC 614 Main St. La Crosse, WI 54601 Phone: 608.782.7001 Email: editor@secondsupper.com Advertising: advertising@secondsupper.com Online: www.secondsupper.com Publisher Mike Keith mike.keith@secondsupper.com

Editorial Editor: Adam Bissen adam.bissen@secondsupper.com Student Editor: Ben Clark benjamin.clark@secondsupper.com Music Editor: Jason LaCourse music@secondsupper.com Graphic Design: Matt Schmidt matt.schmidt@secondsupper.com Columnists: Amber Miller amber.miller@secondsupper.com Brett Emerson brett.emerson@secondsupper.com Shuggypop shuggypop.jackson@secondsupper.com Contributors: Jacob Bielanski, Erich Boldt, Nicholas Cabreza, Andrew Colston, Ashly Conrad, Emily Faeth, Brandon Fahey, El Jefe, Emma Mayview, Briana Rupel, Noah Singer, Bob Treu, Nate Willer

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Second Supper vol. 9, issue 164


Letter from the Editor I don’t know about the rest of ya’lls, but ‘round here we got round ball fever (and I do realize that balls, by definition, are round, and that oblong footballs are only balls by American arrogance, but just the same this Brett Favre saga makes us loathe the game even more). It’s summertime, baby! The grass is green, and the brats are grilled. Where I come from — Uh-merica! — that means it’s time to watch baseball. The Brewers, the Loggers, hell even Central High School have some of the most exciting athletes in their leagues.Watching those guys score runs or play defense is like seeing a factory move in perfect synchronicity. But where I go to — taverns! — summer does not involve hitting curve balls, sprinting great distances, or throwing out my arm because some Charlie Hustle decides to beat out a bunt down the third base line. No sir, we play softball ‘round here. While there is plenty of dispute about the origins of baseball — the war hero Abner Doubleday myth was discredited long ago — softball is most definitely America’s game. According to Briana Rupel’s cover story this week, a Chicagoan invented softball way back in the 1800s. (Whether he celebrated with an Old Style and a Polish sausage is unclear, but probable.) And Midwesterners, it seems, have been playing the game ever since. Maybe it’s our community spirit or our love of the outdoors or the fact that there isn’t a whole lot else going on, but people up here just love going to softball games. You can catch up with your neighbors or chain smoke in one of the shrinking public spheres where cigs are still permitted. Or at least you can behind the dugouts — our league is trying to spiffy up the image of its players; no drinks or smokes ‘til after the game. As for team Popcorn/Second Supper/Friends of Popcorn & Second Supper, we could use a little spiffying up. Three weeks into our Park & Rec season, we’re sitting at a less than respectable 0-3 record, but I felt like we were in the games most of the time.We just have breakdowns, like the pre-‘08 Milwaukee Brewers. I’m not sure what the Cornerstone Church team did to hang 11 runs on us in a single inning last week, but it was quite dispiriting.The bar teams haven’t laid it on us so thick, but they sure have some mongoloids who know how to crush a softball. Team Popcorn, we play small ball. Nobody can hit it very far, but we score most of our runs by being aggressive on the base paths — that or distracting opponents with our ironic caps, wild locks, and seductive stubble. But win or lose (err, I guess it’s just lose), we always have fun when we play. That's just our Sconnie nature.

TABLE OF CONTENTS THIS PAGE ..................................... 3 MEGAN HOFER ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,................ 4 GAMEFEST ..................................... 5 IMMUNITY ....................................... 6 HATE FEST ..................................... 7 SHAKEDOWN ................................. 8 ADVERTISEMENT ........................... 9 ADVERTISEMENTS .......................10 SOFTBALL ....................................11 ALL THAT JAZZ ............................12 KICKAPOO PERU .........................13 ANGELS & DEMONS ....................14 QUADRIPARITE ............................15 COMMUNITY SERVICE ...........16-17 ROCK OUT! .................................. 18

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May 21, 2009

Downt o w n L a C r o sse

Get Your Duff Up The Bluff!

— Adam Bissen




Social Networking

the top

Second Supper’s finally on the social networking bandwagon, with a whole chain of townies to answer our deliciously revealing questions. Each week, the interviewee will name someone they're connected to, who will become the next person interviewed, and so it shall continue. You see? We really are all connected.

Wisconsin tourism slogans 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

Games that try to be as cool as softball, but aren't NAME AND AGE: Megan Hofer, 31 CELEBRITY CRUSH: BIRTHPLACE: Christian Bale (from WAY back when I Ft. Knox KY, SOLID GOLD, BABY. recently was 14 and he was in BBC shows) naturalized citizen of earth CURRENT JOB: I get by... DREAM JOB: Tarbender @ Shuggypop's titty bar, but I'd settle for freelance eco-/adventuretravel writing/consulting/photographing COVETED SUPERPOWER: Multi-location IF YOU COULD LIVE ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, WHERE WOULD IT BE? Comfortably in my skin, outside of my mind FAVORITE LOCAL RESTAURANT: They're all pretty tasty, in moderation... FAVORITE BAR IN TOWN: Still tryin 'em on for size... TELL US A JOKE I'm organized and punctual



TELL US YOUR GUILTIEST PLEASURE: Taking all the time I need... WHAT BOOK ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? (listening to) Don Miguel Ruiz' "The Voice of Knowledge" FIRST CONCERT YOU WENT TO: Both not really a concert, but either a Pie Tasters/Toasters show at the 9:30 Club in Georgetown DC, or the HFStival in DC WHAT'S THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? Can't remember WHAT'S IN YOUR POCKET RIGHT NOW? Nothing HOW DO YOU KNOW ALEX? We hitchhiked the galaxy together long ago...

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Second Supper vol. 9, issue 164


Do This WHAT: Gamefest WHERE: La Crosse Public Library, WHEN: Sunday, May 24, noon-??

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5 bdrm. apts., 1414 Pine St. next to UW-La Crosse, Off street parking, onsite laundry, dishwasher, low utilities, Available 6-1-09 or 8-1-09 call 608-782RENT (7368) 3 Bedroom Apartment Close to campus available June 1st $750 call 3858523 2 bdrm, apts., 720 Oakland St. next to UW-La Crosse, Off street parking, onsite laundry, uppers with deck & ac $650/month, Lowers $620/month available 6-1-09 call 608-782-RENT (7368) Bed: Queen Pillowtop Mattress Set New in plastic $165 Full Sized $135 King Sized $265, Can Deliver 608-3994494 National marketing company seeks full time sales leaders who can sell ice to an Eskimo. Call Lexie at 608782-8586. 3 Bedroom Apartment on La Crosse Street available for the school year starting June 1st call 385-8523.

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amber.miller@secondsupper.com When you become a parent, you learn to take the good with the bad. After a time, it becomes clear that sometimes the good and the bad are sort of the same. Good: when the little one runs to you for a sweet hug. Bad: when the child’s sweet little hug was just a clever ploy to cover your shoulder in snot. Good: when the child has tons of fun playing with other kids at daycare. Bad: when the kid brings home millions of germs daily that may or may not develop into illness, and that may or may not develop into illness for Mommy, too! But that last bad is actually a good thing in disguise. In my pre-Mommy days, I had a decent immune system, I guess. I’m young and usually healthy, but I had my fair share of sniffles and colds. If I was around a sick person, I had a pretty good shot of coming down with the affliction as well. Since my son has come along, though, it seems I’ve gotten some kind of turbo-charged Mommy immune system. As far as I can remember (side-note: immune system gets better, but memory gets worse), I’ve only been laid-out, sick as a dog, death-knocking-on-door sick one time in the boy’s eighteen months of life.And even then, I recovered far more quickly than I would have imagined. I attribute this magical immunity to three child-induced factors: one is that he brings home lots and lots of germs and is very generous with them. If you’ve ever gotten a kiss from a toddler, you know what I mean. He just comes flying at your face with his mouth wide open; he has really nice intentions, to be sure, but he just hasn’t learned the art of puckering those lips yet. A kiss from a little kid pretty much results in a lot of saliva all over the place. He also doesn’t quite know how to blow his nose yet, although I did discover him in the bathroom unrolling the toilet paper and putting it up to his face, so maybe he’s getting the hang of it. Anyways, his not entirely functional nose-blowing skills leave that responsibility to me, and if we’re caught without a tissue, on Mommy’s sleeve it goes. Gross, sure, but less gross than the kid licking his own snot. Yep, toddlers are a disgusting crowd. And if a child spends some time at daycare like mine does, they all get to be disgusting together. There are around seven other kids at my son’s daycare — that’s a lot of germ sharing. So when he brings home the melting pot of bacteria and viruses, I’m exposed to a whole encyclopedia of illnesses. If you know anything about immune systems, you know that this a good thing in reality, provided you have a fairly functional immune system. Being exposed to small doses of bacteria and viruses give the immune system a chance to practice: certain cells are responsible for recognizing invaders and raising the red flag of alert to killer cells. If

the immune system gets plenty of practice, as mine certainly does, it has a thicker reference book of invading pathogens and can attack and kill off any impending infections more effectively and quickly. So thanks, germy children, for helping me out there! Another factor in my new super power immunity is more than likely mental. I simply don’t have the time to spend being sick, especially since I’m a single mom. If I’m too sick to take care of myself…well, that doesn’t really work out. Certainly I have help if I really need it, but the fact of the matter is that my son needs me, specifically, more often than not. And I don’t do so well if I’m away from him for too long, either. This leads me to have an extremely positive mental outlook on my health, which undoubtedly has a significant impact on my real, physical health. If you start to feel a little under the weather and just concede to the illness, chances are great that you’re going to get a lot sicker, whereas if you refuse to give in, it really does give the immune system an extra push. Positive thinking does a world of good physically (and hey, naysayers: there’s science behind that statement, so stow the talk about it being wacky hippie stuff). It’s sort of like being the immune system’s cheerleader — it’s not directly doing much, but it has a serious impact on the outcome. Just don’t believe in getting sick and you won’t, at least not as often. The final factor in the new and improved, not sick me is that having a kid to take care of inspired me to take better care of myself. I was never too awful to the state of my health, but I did a decent amount of junk food eating, and the occasional whisky drink wasn’t beyond me. If I wasn’t feeling good, I usually reached for some pharmaceutical cure. Not so, anymore: I don’t have time or energy to cook separate food for the little fella and I’m pretty gung-ho about him eating super-healthily, so anything I eat, he eats. This translates into a diverse and healthful diet for me. I also started thinking twice about medicines that go into my body, especially when I was nursing. I tend to avoid pharmaceuticals at all costs now and turn to natural remedies instead. We spend as much time as we can outside, too, so I’m walking in the marsh or hiking around Hixon with a twenty-pound kid on my back daily. I’m set, as far as taking care of myself goes. I always wondered how my mom never got sick, and now that I’ve joined the Mommy ranks, the mystery is revealed: the kid’s germs and your own mental and physical health improvements come together in a powerful way to elevate the immune system into something glorious.

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 164


Y Marks the Spot

May 24th

The Two Minute Hate

and

Carolines Spine

By Brett Emerson

Sunspot

brett.emerson@secondsupper.com

$10 At Door “Why is it that they call it taking a dump and not leaving a dump? After all, you’re not taking it anywhere!” And with that Beavis and Butthead line, I begin this collection of Two Minute Hates on things that are pissing me off as of late. Death to Goldstein! n Where is it written that fans of anime and manga are required to be creepy, subliterate nonbathers? I know some fine human beings who are into the styles and can hold conversations about more than their favorite super happy time vampire/ninja academies. But man, the probabilities definitely favor fulfilled stereotypes. I’m very guilty of being a comic book nerd — and yeah, some comics definitely get into the consequenceless territory of pro wrestling — but no comic I’ve ever read had a title or subject matter as insipid (and colorless!) as Prince of Tennis, Kitchen Princess, or my personal favorite, Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo. As with all forms of entertainment, there are diamonds in the rough, but sheer xenophilia can only cover so many sins. Kids get a pass on this because reading is (in theory) a growing process. Even the most trite literature can left-turn a person into some heady ideas. But people my age and above who lurk exclusively in Japanophile Acres tend to be off the diving board — adult infants, mashing chips into their mouths and wiping their greasy fingers all over unpaid-for pages. I don’t usually support age-appropriate behavior, but read your age, not your shoe size. n Peter Pan needs his own brand of peanut butter about as much as Captain Hook needs his own brand of mayonnaise — and I’m pretty sure that you can’t get food poisoning in Neverland. n Just because something rhymes doesn’t make it a sound argument. “If you have time to lean, you have time to clean” is both lame and untrue; if there’s time to lean, then everything’s already been done and the workers have earned a little relaxation. To insist otherwise is to display an unhealthy and addictive work ethic, and to denigrate the value of efficiency. Another fine one is “No pain, no gain,” which says about the same thing. Spitting out rhyming maxims is the verbal equivalent of farting loudly and smugly breathing in one’s own stink. n I find it ironic that the Obama-haters who hosted the recent Tea Parties didn’t dress up as Indians, especially when their purpose is to scapegoat a member of the opposing team. Being that this was in essence a conservative protest, you’d think that these people would have gone full-out old school, instead of just picketing outside of public buildings and whining about socialism and abortion, plaid as always. If you’re going to half-ass, at least be entertaining. Have someone dress up as J.J. from Good

May 21, 2009

Times, at least. I’m personally hoping for nationwide reenactments of the Boston Massacre, instead. n I’ve been struggling with a way to erase Brett Favre from the public discourse without making him a Christ-like (or at least Tupac-like) martyr, and I think I’ve come up with a solution.We need to bring Tonya Harding out of retirement and have her crack him in the knees. Then maybe the whole of Wisconsin can stop the epileptic fit it’s been having for the last two years. Seriously, calm down. n The laws of customer service are written by people who don’t have to obey them. As such, it seems as though the marketplace is becoming a lopsided arena where barbarians waving Jacksons and credit cards get free kicks at quadriplegics wearing vests and nametags. Just as adults are now afraid of disciplining other people’s rabid children, so are employees restricted from calling out boorish, sloppy, bitchy customers. Bullshit. n Demographic chic is crap. The cover of the current issue of Entertainment Weekly features American Idol’s new figurehead,Adam Lambert, sporting his adorable little emo swoop, grinning shyly at the camera.The headline proclaims him as the hero of the hour, then tosses up a pink asterisk that casually disclaims that the favoritism is because “he might be gay.” Right. I flipped through the article, giving it a chance to prove wrong my cynicism. While Lambert himself admirably dodges questions about his personal life and sticks to performance, the article pretty much played him off as the second coming of Clay Aiken. The sucking that I’m concerned with here doesn’t have anything to do with cock. It has to do with music, and media, and sucking UP. Once again, the content of one’s character loses out, and pandering reigns. n If you have to say that something “rocks,” it doesn’t, and more tellingly, you don’t. Very few people beyond the Scorpions, Queen, and Spinal Tap have ever made this word work as a verb. n Prolife billboards around Notre Dame, blasting the college for allowing a fucking president to deliver its commencement speech? What’s most funny about this current controversy is that the college kids — those people often dismissed by the grown-ups as being shallow, entitled brats — are airing out their grievances with the president’s beliefs in a calm, assertive, mature manner. The people being arrested at Notre Dame are not students but invaders (like Alan Keyes, whom Obama beat in 2004 Illinois Senate race,) that have hijacked the discourse for their own agendas. Seems like growing up and growing old are two separate things. Thus concludes this week’s quaint display of Rooneyesque Rage.

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Soul Shakedown Party Reggae Festers complain of police profiling and drug dogs, but the law is not on their side By Adam Bissen adam.bissen@secondsupper.com Last Saturday afternoon, Kim Larson and three friends hopped into her Volkswagen Golf to make a sunny drive to Trempealeau to attend the annual Reggae Fest. They pulled into town, passed the Trempealeau Hotel, and turned on to First Street to find a place to park. But before they could, a police officer activated his emergency lights and stopped the car from La Crosse. His reason? Larson’s vehicle had a “bracket” around the license plate and a feather hanging from the rear-view mirror. The cop was just going to write her a warning, Larson recalled, but then the Trempealeau County K9 unit pulled up behind the car, and an officer circled the Volkswagen three times with a drug-sniffing dog. “I was like: What are you doing? Can you tell me what you’re doing, sir?” Larson remembered. “And he says ‘This is free space. I’m just walking my dog.’” On the third time around the car, the dog made a “hit,” giving officers probable cause to search the vehicle.They found approximately one gram of marijuana. “I think it was definitely profiling,” said Larson, who has long black hair and wears a ring in her lip. “[The cops] think that everybody that goes to Reggae Fest is just a bunch of drug-taking, pot-smoking hippies, and they were out to find a big bust.” Larson was not the only person to complain about the police presence for Reggae Fest. Concert attendees said cop cars “lined the highways” between La Crosse and Trempealeau on Saturday, and five people interviewed for this story said their vehicles were pulled over just for equipment violations. Although complete reports were not available at press time, at least four separate departments appeared to be policing the area around Reggae Fest. The Trempealeau Police Department had six officers on duty (compared to the one who normally patrols on Saturday afternoons), and the Trempealeau County and La Crosse County sheriffs departments had K9 units in the area. The State Patrol was also spotted at traffic stops. “Any [stop] that we made was for a violation of the law,” said Trempealeau County sheriff Richard Anderson. “Of course our K9 unit was in the area so we utilized that … but it wasn’t like there was any special detail that we set up or anything like that.” Brandon Fahey, a local classic rock DJ, was pulled over by a La Crosse County K9 unit in the Town of Hamilton, three miles outside Trempealeau. The police SUV had been sitting in a dirt road off Highway 35, Fahey said, and pulled him over for having an “inadequate muffler.” Without asking for consent, the officer led the drug dog around Fahey’s car. When the dog made a hit, the officer made Fahey exit his vehicle while he searched the car. Nothing illegal was found, but the dog left scratch marks on the trunk of Fahey’s 1999 Saturn. The episode

lasted approximately 45 minutes. “I was shitting bricks, man. It was terrible,” said Fahey, who — full disclosure — helps write this newspaper’s Top 7 lists. “Rather than protecting and serving, it seems like they were just out to harass.” Every concert attendee interviewed for this story thought their civil rights were violated when police officers introduced drug dogs and searched their vehicles, but Dave Schultz, a law professor at the University of WisconsinMadison, said the police had probable cause to investigate. For any traffic stop, no matter how trivial, officers have the right to use a drugsniffing dog if there is one in the area. According to the U.S. and Wisconsin Supreme Courts, any “hit” by a reliable drug dog gives officers probable cause to search a vehicle. When asked to give advice to people traveling to music festivals, Schultz said people shouldn’t drive a car with obvious equipment violations. “Cars and their operation are so heavily regulated that it’s awfully difficult to maintain your vehicle and be such a good driver that you’re not violating some of the thousands of laws that apply,” said Schultz in a telephone interview. Still, Stan Ridgeway, chief of the Trempealeau Police Department, said nobody filed any complaints about Saturday’s policing. He noted that the Trempealeau Hotel pays for the increased police presence when it hosts Reggae Fest and said that there used to be more officers patrolling it in the past. For next Saturday’s Blues Fest, which normally draws smaller crowds to the hotel, only four officers from his department will be on patrol. Although Reggae Fest attendees brought home several stories from the event — and some didn’t want to speak on record, fearing additional reprimand — one of the strangest belongs to Tegan Daly, a 23-year-old La Crosse resident whose car was pulled over four times on Saturday: once for a faulty muffler and three more times for a burned out headlight. “I think we were stereotyped, like all these hippies going to Reggae Fest must be doing something wrong,” said Daly, who was cited for an open intoxicant after officers found a box of wine in her back seat. Amy Morgan, a 27-year-old who was riding with Daly, agreed and called Saturday’s policing “one step away from a road block.” Morgan said she had attended Reggae Fests for the about the past 12 years, but she had never been pulled over when riding with her sister — who has a child and drives a minivan. “This is the first time I’ve ridden down with a number of friends in a kind of beater car,” said Morgan, referencing the Chevrolet Corsica that sports bumper stickers for the New Glarus Brewing Company and the League of Conservation Voters. “Maybe I’ll put a Jesus fish on my car the next time I go down.”

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 164


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10

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 164


Cover story

Summer of Softball Why do the men and women of La Crosse love this game so much? Who cares? Let's play! By Briana Rupel briana.rupel@secondsupper.com Tink! I dropped the bat as I watched the softball sail through the air and over my brother's raised, mitted hand. It was a breezy, just-hotenough May evening and while Dad prepared chicken for the grill, my bro and I had taken to hitting some balls in the backyard. He still hadn't emerged from the lilac bushes, so I knew I had enough time to crouch down and re-tie my sneaker. Suddenly, I heard his yell. "Bri!" My head lifted up from my shoe instinctively. Crack! I was nowhere near ready for the ball's return; the fluorescent yellow softball had driven right into the middle of my forehead, causing an immediate lump nearly the size of the assailant. I curled up on the ground and as my younger brother came rushing over, I was already cursing him out in ways a 9th grader shouldn't know how; in ways a 6th grader shouldn't hear. Tears streamed down his face as he apologized profusely and ran inside to get Dad and an ice pack — or, in this case, a big bag of frozen mixed vegetables. As the throes of pain subsided some, I apologized to Chris for yelling at him. After all, it was an accident, and God knows we had caused each other countless accidental injuries already in our young lives. This one was no different; the chicken was abandoned, and we were off to the hospital yet again. Though I didn't need stitches, gravity soon took its toll in the days that followed, as all the internal blood ran from the grotesque lump on my noggin down to the soft skin under my eyes and settled there, in ugly purple and black half moons that made everyone at school think I got punched out twice in the face.The majority of my peers signed my yearbook to "Raccoon" or "Raccoon Eyes" and even "The Bruised Bitch." Ubiquitous yearbook quotes like "have a kick-ass summer" were replaced with "I hope your eyes get better!" and "...next time you get in a fight, I'll be there to back you, Dude!" Even, "I'm sorry about your face" was scrawled along the inside front cover. I hoped this person was alluding to my injury. Fast forward ten years later, and I'm chillin' on a couch in the (old!) Second Supper office, PBR in hand, waiting for our weekly meeting to start. Instead of the usual run-down of the

May 21, 2009

current issue's status, this meeting began with Bissen posing a question. "Hey, Mitch wants to start a softball team for this summer...anyone interested?" I could already hear my mom calling out from three hours away, like some deity's voice echoing from above to an unsuspecting sinner. "Bri-ana," she would sigh heavily, "I just... I don't want you to get your teeth knocked out." "But Mooom," I would reply, crumbling to the ground on my knees, fists shaking in frustration at the sky, "it doesn't matter that I've suffered minor injuries playing softball in the past and I haven't played in years and I'm still spastic when it comes to sports and I sure-asshit don't have health insurance, but... it ain't rugby!" Patches of snow still lay stagnant on the streets outside. I was longing for the outdoor summer fun that softball promised. I replied to our editor-in-chief with one enthusiastic "Hell yes!" Now, whether you play the game or not, you've heard denouncement of softball before; that it's — if I may quote verbatim — "the pussy version of baseball." In fact, the game was drawn up by men in the late 1800s at the end of a Yale vs. Harvard football game, when a man from Yale threw a boxing glove in jest at the Harvard crowd, and a fan hit it away with a broomstick. The result? A Harvard alum in Chicago, who had gathered at a local boat club with pals to hear the score of the football game responded by tying up a boxing glove into a ball, and an indoor game of baseball ensued, the players not requiring mitts since the "ball" was so soft. That winter, permanent foul lines were painted on the floors of the boat club, and "softball" became the way for baseball players to keep practicing during the cold months of the off-season. Eventually, it was moved outdoors. Along with staying popular in the Chicago area, by 1913 the game was officially adopted by the Minneapolis Park Board and played by men all over the metropolis. Take that, chauvinists! La Crosse's own history with the game didn't follow too long after. "We have [La Crosse] Tribune archives here that go back to the '50s and '60s," says John Wesley, current Adult Sports Coordinator for La Crosse Park and Rec, "...maybe even before that." Wesley then reminisces, with the unmistakable air of

nostalgia in his voice, about going to Copeland Park as a kid to enjoy summer softball games amongst "thousands of fans." Don't go thinking, though, that the softball phenomenon only existed in the good ol' days. Ask any La Crosse resident today what comes to mind when they think of summer, and they're sure to tell you without a doubt: grilling out, camping on the sandbar, canoeing down the Kickapoo, and league softball. The din of lawnmowers cruising around our cozy green lawns almost hums in sync with the tink of metal bats smacking a softball. Chances are, you know someone who plays softball in La Crosse. When I ask Wesley how many leagues there are, he exhales as if he's overcome by the question. "Oh my God," he finally responds. "How many leagues are there? Well, let's see..." He trails off, soon embarking on a tirade, not one that's vehement, rather one that's like a poetic passage. The title of his poem? "We play five nights a week." Wesley begins his reading, which is too much for me to comprehend. "Monday night," he begins, setting the stage, "there's men's and co-rec. Tuesday night there's men's and women's. Wednesday night there's women's and the industrial league..." He goes on, ending with the kicker: "On Friday,there's four to five men's and co-rec leagues." He draws in a much deserved breath, enough of a break for me to ask him how many teams are spread out amongst these leagues; how many teams are playing through three months of summer. He can't even give me a direct answer. Citing again the fact that La Crosse is the only city in the area to have multiple games five nights a week, he answers my question matterof-factly: "Easily between 150 to 200 teams," he says. Assuming that each team has only the bare minumum of players allowed, there are 1,500 residents of La Crosse playing softball on 150 teams this summer. And that's the minimum. Taking into account that there are quite possibly close to 200 — if not more — teams, with each team having about an extra five subs, we're looking at a number close to double that. There are teams representing workplaces you've never heard of, bars you've never been to, and then some. And if you think these thousands of players are the only ones who care about softball, you're forgetting about the fans. I swear, there are more people who care about

league softball stats and scores more than they cared about who was running for mayor of this city. "There's guys that have softball hard-ons in this city," explains Wesley, without even a hint of facetiousness in his voice. "We'll even receive calls in January from people inquiring about new rules for the upcoming season." In my first game for the Popcorn Tavern, almost a month ago now, I was jogging back to the dugout, a bit bummed because I had been tagged out on third. "You gotta run faster, Hon," a gray-haired man with a beer belly said to me, as if he was my coach. Thing is, he wasn't even affiliated with either one of the teams! He was merely a lone fan — a know-it-all, veteran of the softball sidelines, making it his business to ridicule any member of either team guilty of a mistake. And we play on the B league... the "winning-isn'teverything-I-play-for-fun" B league. Hard-on, however inappropriate, noted. But even with the occasional loudmouthed fan, softball is plain fun. The necessary competitiveness is there, but mainly the love of being active outside and having a good time with your peers overrides. The fact that the sponsoring bar awaits your worn and dusty team with promises of a few (free!) cold ones doesn't hurt either. The fact is, summers in La Crosse wouldn't be the same without softball. So join a team or, at least, come cheer your favorite on. After all, it's in your blood. Just ask my brother...he'll assure you it's in mine.

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Seoul power

Gangsters and All That Jazz In which our foreign correspondant plays sax, wins fans, eats McMuffins, runs with mobsters, and sees Tower of Power By Nate Willer nate.willer@secondsupper.com

With a title like that, this story hardly needs an introduction. I will however offer a bit of background. In my travels here in Korea one thing I’ve missed the most is a hearty offering of live music. Sure, around every corner is a Karaoke room where my friends and I can sing and drink our fill, but this country is seriously lacking the live music department. If you’re brave enough to venture out to Seoul you can usually find some music somewhere. But I live roughly four hours from Seoul by bus, or two and a half hours by car if you’ve got a Korean Gangster behind the wheel — but more on that later. To say I was shocked when I heard there was live jazz happening in Jinju (where I live) would be an understatement. I had to see this with my own eyes. After catching a show, the tenor sax player in the band — who happened to be the club owner — wandered over to my table and introduced himself. After complementing him on his playing my friend mentioned that I played sax. Now I should mention that since graduating high school in 2001, I’ve played a saxophone exactly two times.The first time was in 2006 in

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Japan where a jazz club owner handed me an alto sax and demanded a song.The second performance also happened in 2006 at my middle school in Namhae, for a school festival. So I was slightly apprehensive about playing for or with these guys. But after practicing a bit with the owner and finding out that he had a baritone sax that I would be playing, my apprehension went right out the window. So after three shows with the band I feel like I’m finally hitting my stride. Which is saying something because our band doesn’t get together to practice. About a week before each show we’re all e-mailed a set list with brief instructions for each song.When show time rolls around we dive right into it. Our shows are not without issue but we have fun and get free beer while we play, so by the time the show is over we’ve all forgotten most of the first set. Our most recent show was one of our best. We started off the night with a fantastic Freddie Hubbard funk tune called "Mr. Clean." After a few standards and a few beers we were grooving nicely, just in time for our set break.To open our second set we played a fast funky version

of the Miles Davis tune "So What" that had the crowd bobbing along with the beat. To end the night we played a great number Coltrane number called "Mr. P.C." By the time the show had ended I had completely forgotten what songs I soloed on and kept insisting that my final solo on "Mr. P.C." was awful yet my band mates and the audience kept telling me otherwise. Perhaps I had one free beer too many… Along with countless adoring fans, I’ve made a few friends in the band. So after the gig we decided to take our show on the road. We headed over to a Karaoke room armed with a few fans as well as an alto sax, which in my opinion separates good Karaoke from great Karaoke. Some time between Chicago’s "25 or 6 to 4" and Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" my friend and fellow sax man Tom got a call from his friend Mr. Funk inviting us all to Seoul to see Tower of Power. Now if you are not familiar with Tower of Power you should certainly check them out. They have been making groovy music for 41 years. Once we made the decision to go, Tom informed me that Mr. Funk was in fact a Korean gangster (his name has been changed for… well… my safety and yours). Mr. Funk was slated to pick us up at 9 a.m. at Tom’s place, so we decided the best thing to do would be to head to his house after the Karaoke room for some scotch and Peter O’Toole. Mr. Funk arrived promptly at 9 a.m. in his Benz. He arrived just before the McDonald's delivery guy did.Yes, in Korea even McD’s delivers. After devouring some sausage McMuffins we headed out. Including Mr. Funk we were a party of five. Once in the car we had a short debate about which of Mr. Funk’s vehicles would be faster for the trip. Our choices were his 2007 Benz or his 2008 Jag. He decided the Jag would better accommodate our group so we headed to his office to change cars. On the way Mr. Funk pointed out several of his properties — which included two hotels, one completed apartment complex as well as a second apartment complex that was still under construction. I guess crime does pay. The Range Rover was the better of the two vehicles. As soon as we got on the highway it was game on. I’ve been on the Autobahn, in a top of the line Benz no less, but this ride was

something out of a Michael Bay movie. We hit 100 miles per hour and never let up. Made the four hour trip in under three hours. While on the road Mr. Funk received a call from someone I gathered to be The Don, explaining that he had been out drinking the night before and "misplaced" 20 grand (apparently a standard feature on Jag’s is a built in Bluetooth receiver for your cell phone so your conversation can be broadcast through the car’s sweet stereo). Until last weekend I thought that was something that could only ever happen in the movies or my imagination. From now on whenever I’m out at a bar I will keep at least one eye open for large wads of cash, and I will always carry a ski mask to conceal my identity if and when I pick up said wad. Tower of Power played at an art hall in downtown Seoul. We arrived at the show just before the opening band took the stage. Our seats were in the balcony. I guess mafia connections are limited to hotels and beaches (Mr. Funk is also currently developing some fine beach front real estate). The opening band was a funky Korean band called Common Ground. They played a quick set filled with funk, jazz and hip-hop. And were a pleasant surprise. Most young Korean bands are massive pop groups filled with handsome twenty-somethings who can hardly sing but photograph well. Tower of Power hit the stage like a brickshit house. They played a funky two-hour set filled with funk, soul and jazz. They are without a doubt one of the best bands live bands I’ve seen. As soon as the show got under way we moved up to the front of the balcony, and much to the dismay of the people behind us, began dancing. I immediately pulled a Bissen and cleared out a 3x3 yard space for myself while everyone around me was reduced to dancing in a tiny bubble. When the dancing feeling hits you, there isn’t much you can do but roll with it. And roll with it I did. It was pretty much the theme for the weekend. But what better way to celebrate spring than, playing jazz, drinking free beer, hanging out with gangsters and grooving to Tower of Power. The only thing I could think that could make this better is if I was munching on a Johnsonville brat while reading a copy this week's Second Supper.

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 164


Reviews: Your Guide to Consumption

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Oh hi, right now I’m listening to a DJ mix that is part of the Fabric Live series. Fabric is a club in London that is on the cutting edge of all things going on in the music world of that trend setting British city, which often goes on to influence the rest of the world. Since they opened their doors in 1999, Fabric has hosted the cream of the crop of globe trotting DJs who pack their 1600 person capacity club on a regular basis. The DJs they book spin genres from hip-hop to breakbeat to drum ‘n bass to indie rock to electro to dubstep to vintage soul to reggae and everything in between. Not only do they regularly feature the heavy hitters of the game, but also have launched a laundry list of people to the British audience who have gone on to become huge. Starting in November of 2001, Fabric began releasing monthly albums on their own record label of these DJs in action, alternating between their Fabric and Fabric Live series. If this wasn’t awesome enough for people who care about this sort of stuff, in October of 2007 they began offering free hour long podcasts every month of DJs spinning tracks from their personal collections that you can get at www.fabriclondon.com/podcast/ for your listening pleasure. Currently, there are 27 of these podcasts just waiting for you featuring names like Peanut Butter Wolf, Jazznova, Don Letts, Howie B. and Mad Professor selecting the tracks. If those names don’t mean anything to

you, just know they cover about as wide a cross spectrum of music as you are likely to find, all bringing their own unique perspective on how to move a crowd. Some other DJ mix collections I’m a fan of are the DJ-Kick series and the Global Underground series. DJ-Kick started putting out albums in 1995 which currently has 31 mixes from artists such as Carl Craig,Thievery Corporation, Nightmares on Wax, Kruder & Dorfmeister, Four Tet, Hot Chip and Burial. The majority of the albums in this series are mixed in a studio, which allows records to be spun that wouldn’t really work in a club environment. Global Underground started putting out releases in 1996 and focuses solely on high profile progressive house beat matchers such as Sasha, John Digweed, Paul Oakenfold, Felix Da Housecat and Deep Dish. Releases in this series record performances by these studs at live sets of theirs around the globe, from places as far flung as Shanghai, Moscow, Bogota, Cape Town,Tel Aviv, San Francisco and Paris, to name a few. On a side note, seriously, could you think of a better job than being paid thousands of dollars a night to be flown to all corners of the globe to play bass thumping party music for thousands of people in the throws of euphoric revelry while they bliss the night away in the swankiest of locales? My life suddenly seems so unfulfilling… — Shuggypop Jackson

BEER

Kickapoo Peru This week, I tried out a coffee from the nearby Kickapoo Coffee micro-roasters in Viroqua. An organic Peru AA filled my cup this morning, and I’m pleased that it did. First things first: the Kickapoo cats know their stuff. Socially and environmentally, they do good work; their beans come from small cooperatives that are owned by the farmers. This means that the farmers get fair wages, and the biodiversity and traditional farming practices (i.e. not chemically-dependent or pesticide-laden) are protected. Coffee-wise, the folks just over the bluff get high scores as well. The beans are roasted in small batches in a vintage German roaster and tasted (“cupped”) before they’re sold; what a dream job that is! The Peru AA that I chose came from northern Peru, and the “AA” refers to a classification system for the size, shape, and density of the bean. AA beans are the largest, and thus produce the most oils that give the final product its

May 21, 2009

Everything which led me into this book, while paving a glowing road, also gave it an arrogant veneer. The first line of advertisement doesn’t help, reading thus:“Julian Donahue is in love with his iPod.” From that introduction, prejudices of a world of self-obsessed rock snobs engaging in vestigial love affairs began to swirl. In part, this doesn’t go away after reading through the book. The things that do change are the cracks between the Pavement-worshipping pavement, the hows of the story that augment the whos and whats. Each and every person in this story, at some point, exposes narcissistic traits, thinks bratty thoughts, and acts like a prick to someone — but with the exception of the washed up rock star turned avant-garde vagina painter, there are no good guys, no bad guys. Julian himself is a middle-aged director of commercials, a former philanderer turned imminent divorcee. Both he and his wife are damaged goods, hobbling around the ruins of their lives. She cares for Julian’s nigh-autistic older brother after a demographic faux pas on Jeopardy turns him into a national pariah, hurling him off the edge. Julian spends his chapters chasing an ascending musician half his age, one who’s in danger of being swallowed into the

Medium: Literature Stimulus: Arthur Phillips — The Song Is You Anno: 2009

collective desire of her fawning audience. He gives her advice from the rafters, and eventually they form an invisible romance. It’s in this pursuit where Phillips abandons the tale’s sometimes excessive introspection and builds a scheme of chain reaction suspense. Very little of the relationship between Julian and his quarry runs conventional. Rather, it becomes a mutual investigation, hidden behind text and press releases, telethons and bushes, building up nerve, while everything swerves. What is most uncomfortable about these people and their flaws — and, usually subsequent to the flaws, their redeeming factors — is how well presented they are, how fictional and outside of the reader they aren’t. Despite the gleam of the New York scenes, these are people who could be your neighbors, your idols, you. So yes, Julian Donahue is in love with his iPod. From the word go, music wraps around every page and gives the story its skin, but it is the abundance of characterization, accompanied with a storytelling which seems locked in perpetual zigzag, which forms the spine of one of the most romantic anti-romances I’ve ever read.

— Brett Emerson

Shakespeare Stout Rogue Brewery Newport, Oregon

Review aroma and flavor. These beans were brought to a medium roast, and the strongest characteristic of this coffee is probably its balance. The aroma is inviting and is almost reminiscent of a black tea with honey. The brightness of this bean sits right in the middle and convinces you to love it. The body is certainly not lacking and provides some real depth for this cup. A rich milk chocolate provides most of this coffee’s soul, which is supported by fleeting notes of sweet citrus and buttery caramel. In tandem with the sweet aspects of this coffee is a smoky earthiness as well. Subtle roasted almond notes come through at times, and a flavor-feeling that can only be described as a digging brown overcame me as I happily slurped away. The mouthfeel of this brew was velvety smooth all the way to the clean finish. Overall, this coffee was pleasant and would probably satisfy a wide variety of tastes.

— Amber Miller

“There shall be in England seven halfpenny loaves sold for a penny; the three-hooped pot shall have ten hoops; and I will make it felony to drink small beer.” — King Henry VI. Part II. Act iv. Sc. 2. Here, here! You gotta hand it to Will Shakespeare, he appreciated the finer things in life. Not only do his sonnets contain the choicest words on female beauty and his tragedies illustrate the crippling pursuit of political power, in nearly every play he wrote he gave all the best lines to drunks. He’s my bro. So when I felt like treating myself the other day, this offering from the Rogue Brewery naturally caught my eye. I bought it on a whim, tucked it in the back of the refrigerator, and cracked it open 15 minutes ago, not knowing what to expect. Well, after quaffing the ale, this loquacious lush doth think it a fitting tribute to the Bard: The Shakespeare Stout is one of the greatest beers I have ever tasted. Poured from a 22 ounce bottle, an abundant tan head races up the glass, topping a brew that is opaque black. But lifting it to the nose, I knew this wouldn’t be like any other stout.

It contains all the right notes of burnt caramel and roasted barley, but a Appearance: 10 citrus-y hop aroma elevates it in that bold West Aroma: 9 Coast tradition. Even with that hoppy punch, Taste: 9 the first sip is assertive but not biting. (Stouts Mouthfeel: 8 are of English origin, after all.) When it moves Drinkability: 8 down the tongue, the taste grows warmer and more rich, with mocha, Total: 44 hazelnut and even dark fruit flavors rising to the fore. It has a creamy mouthfeel, and the hops make it extremely drinkable — which is not an adjective ascribed to most stouts. The aftertaste is somewhat dry and chocolaty, but again the hops leave a resiny sweetness. If I had more money, I could probably drink a lot of these, but this first bottle was a luxurious experience in itself. For, as the Bard wrote, “a quart of ale is a dish for a king." — Adam Bissen

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Film reviews

Future Sons by Noah Singer

Angels & Demons (2009) Director: Ron Howard Cast:Tom Hanks, Ayelet Zurer, Ewan McGregor Writer: David Koepp and Akiva Goldsman, based on the novel by Dan Brown The fundamental problem with Dan Brown's Robert Langdon thrillers is that, when translated to a visual medium, there's really nothing thrilling about them. It's the plethora of fun factoids that makes the novels worth reading, but it's the inclusion of those same factoids that resulted in 2006's atrocious "The Da Vinci Code," more a revisionist history lesson than a gut-wrenching thriller. "Angels & Demons," here touted as a sequel, at least plays out like a thriller, the "did you know..." moments taking a much-appreciated backseat to some genuine suspense. Because it's a Dan Brown adaptation, it's no less absurd or predictable than the painful dry-hump "Da Vinci," but at least it's fun to watch. Why anyone would call on a Harvard Symbologist when four cardinals are kidnapped and an explosive, highly-unstable canister of antimatter goes missing never gets properly addressed, but for one reason or another, the prickish Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks) finds himself in the middle of a plot to blow up Vatican City and the thousands of people awaiting the election of a new pope in Saint Peter's

Square. Cue Langdon's improbable solutions to illogical problems. "Angels & Demons" marks the triumphant return of "Da Vinci's" lofty plot progression and brazen absurdity, but, unlike that film, it's a lot tighter and less jumbled. That's not to say it's less predictable. With "Angels & Demons," it becomes painfully obvious that Brown uses some kind of story template or formula when constructing his novels. All the same hackneyed "Da Vinci" characterizations return: a tag-along female sidekick; a bullheaded police inspector; an ominous, murderous villain who believes he's doing God's work; a trusted ally who turns out to be the villain; several ambiguous red-herring characters who silently shift their eyes after Langdon exits the frame. If Brown weren't such a one trick pony (a filthy-rich one trick pony, at that), then maybe Howard and company would have a little more to work with. Howard may not have perfected a formula for adapting the factoid-thriller for the big screen, but at least now he's taken steps in the right direction.

— Nick Cabreza

Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure (1985) Director:Tim Burton Cast: Paul Reubens, Mark Holton Writter: Phil Hartman, Paul Reubens, & Michael Varhol

It’s a rare movie that one can watch all day, but for a few weeks in a California record store, my friends and I worked while Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure played on repeat, all day, every day — and it never got old. We’d hear Danny Elfman’s frenetic score, walk by and catch a glimpse of Abe Lincoln robot flipping pancakes, and hiss at the tubby brat who stole Pee-Wee’s magic bicycle — the dastardly Francis Buxton. It was awesome. Mark Holton is the man responsible for bringing said Evil Buxton to life. After this movie he languished in the cinema graveyard, his most notable post-Buxton roles being a retarded guy in Leprechaun and a portrayal of America’s favorite boy-raping-and-murdering clown, John Wayne Gacy. Mark Holton also looks exactly like one of my friends’ ex-wives, a heartless, buzzkilling bitch that sucked the life and legend from his bones. We called her Francis Buxton, and mourned her theft of our own bicycle/friend until the glorious day of their divorce. But Mark Holton’s name wasn’t as tarnished as another of the cast. While semiwatching a night of television a few years ago, I heard John Walsh’s nasal tenor announce the beginning of an episode of America’s Most Wanted. Bo-ring. But then, the curveball was thrown, and I heard long-memorized clips from

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Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure playing on one of the country’s great manhunt shows. Did Paul Reubens get caught in a spank booth again? No, Walsh assured, this was a bit more serious. Under the stage name of Mark Everett, Manuel Benitez played one of the BMX kids in PeeWee’s Big Adventure. After a brief run as a child actor he retired in 1988 and became another kid star roadkill: dealing drugs, getting busted a few times on drug and weapons charges, and in all this madness finding a wife and having a kid. Eerily, nobody in his life knew that he was ever an actor. When his wife threatened to leave him, Everett beat her to death with a dumbbell, kidnapped their child, and disappeared for four years. He made multiple appearances on America’s Most Wanted, but nothing came of it. Last December brought this story to a close, when a cop summoned others after watching Everett drag his son into an El Monte, California restaurant. Hours of hostage standoff descended into a shootout, and Everett was killed, and his son wounded but safe. The lesson of all this? Never screw with a man’s bicycle. Yeah, maybe that's not the lesson. — Brett Emerson

Reminds you to support the retailers, restaurants, taverns and bands that support us. We are funded solely by advertising so if you want to support us, support

conscientious commerce: TOUCH 'EM ALL. Second Supper vol. 9, issue 164


I'm Jonesin' for a Crossword "Movin' On Up"-- deluxe apartment or not, we're getting there! By Matt Jones Across 1 "Te ___" 4 Springsteen title starter 8 What software may be stored on 14 Burlesque routine 16 Campfire snack 17 Green side 18 Crone, disparagingly 19 Wile E. Coyote's supplier 20 Back off 21 NASCAR ___ 23 Premium used in exchange rates 26 Size of some garages 27 Actress Smart 28 Unable to choose 29 Ark man 30 Spare bit? 31 "___ a Hammer" 33 Fish in a 2003 film 36 Thursday daydreamer's acronym 38 National auto body chain

61 Grouped together 62 Diverts traffic 63 Say with confidence 64 Memo header, for short 65 Pinnacle

39 Poetry competition 40 Bangalore wrap 41 Get the sleeping bag ready 43 What rock fans may dig

44 "Consarn it!" 46 Shag carpet feature 47 Tractor-trailer 48 Wretched, as poverty 50 Jet-black rock 51 Irish, e.g.

52 Be a sponge 53 Mr. ___ (Coke's answer to Dr Pepper) 55 Reverberating 57 It may be caused by stress

Down 1 Div. that lost Super Bowls XIX-XXXI 2 Figure seen at Tiananmen Square 3 Where signs of visiting prostitutes are most frequent in the aviary? 4 Rice variety 5 Where a flea might hang out? 6 Victrola maker 7 Brand-spanking ___ 8 Naval tech. specialist 9 It preceded Roosevelt 10 Rice partner 11 Where you're likely to find threeday-old undies?

Answers to Issue 163's 12 Mazda roadster 13 Silver Bullet Band "Pig Out" leader Bob 15 It may get the last photo in the calendar: abbr. 21 Game with a 20 at the top of the board 22 1980s home computer 24 ___ Jaya (Indonesian territory) 25 Where you'll find blond, curly hair, an overcoat, and a horn? 26 Where to show where the bad man touched you? lan Š2009 Jonesin' 32 Flip ___ Crosswords (editor@ 34 Callender in the 54 A/C stat 56 Summer hrs. in jonesincrosswords . frozen food aisle com) For answers to 35 Z's Greek coun- Minneapolis 57 Title for Italian this puzzle, call: 1terpart 900-226-2800, 99 37 It penalizes ob- monks cents per minute. struction of hydrants 58 Emeritus: abbr. 59 ___ Speedwagon Must be 18+. Or to 42 Dictionary 45 More needing a 60 Sense tested with bill to your credit card, Zener cards call: 1-800-655-6548. bath, perhaps Reference puzzle 48 Single-celled or#0415. ganism: var. 49 Mouths, in Mazat-

Maze Efflux by Erich Boldt

May 21, 2009

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COMMUNITY SERVICE [ Area food & drink specials ] LA CROSSE All Star Lanes 4735 Mormon Coulee

Alpine Inn Animal W5715 BlissHouse rd. 110 3rd st.

Alumni 620 Gillette st. Arena

ArenaLAX.com

Barrel Inn 2005 West ave. Barrel Inn 2005 West ave. Beef & Etc. 1203 La Crosse st. Brothers Beef & Etc. 306 Pearl st. 1203 La Crosse Big Al’s st. 115 st. TheS 3rd Cavalier The Cavalier 114 5th ave.

Sunday

Monday

3 games for $5 starts at 8 p.m.

3 games for $5 starts at 8 p.m.

bucket special

bottles $1$1.75 Domestic Taps $2$5 Craft Import Taps pitchers $2.50 Vodka Mixers $1 Shot Menu $7 22oz tbone 16oz top sirloin

$2.00 Domestic Silos $2.50 Jack Daniel Mixers $2.00 Goldschlager

Beer Pong $7.00 4 Cans 8-close

text

2 for 1 cans & bottles during Packer games

2.25 for mini pitcher

Italian beef w/dog meal: $6.69 closed Pizza Puff meal: free pitcher of beer $4.49 or soda with large pizza

114 5th ave.

CheapShots 318 318 Pearl Pearl st. st.

Chuck’s

1101 1101 La La Crosse Crosse st. st.

Coconut Joe’s 223 Pearl st.

Buck Night starts at 6 p.m.

Bud Night 6 - CL:

9.75 sutffed sirloin 8 jack daniels tips 8 $1 shots of Doctor, cherry doctor - 8-cl Happy hour 4-6 $1.75 cans, $2 mix drinks

ARENA

1/4 barrel giveaway 8-11Buck $1 Burgers burgers

$2.50 Select imports/craft Beers $2.50 Top shelf Mixers $2 Mich Golden bottles

3 games for $5 starts at 7 p.m.

Import night starts at 7 p.m.

Happy Hour64-p.m. CL- 9 p.m. M-F

$1 softshell tacos $1 shots of doctor, cherry doctor to 83361

$2 $2.50 DomesticSparks Silos $2.50 Premium Silos $2.50 Three Olive Mixers $2. Goldschlager

Bucket Night 6 beers

3 p.m. - midnight 25 cent hot wings $1 shots of Dr. 25 cent wings Dollar

$6.00 AUCD

bucket night 6 for $9 for $9meal: Italian beef $6.15 Chicago chili dog: Italian beef meal: $3.45 Thirsty $6.69

AUCE wings $5.00 free crazy bingo buy one cherry bomb specials get one for $1

to receive

AUCD Taps and Rails

77 -- CL CL Tequila’s Tequila’s chips chips & & salsa, salsa, $2 $2 Coronas, Coronas, $2.50 $2.50 Mike’s, Mike’s, Mike-arita Mike-arita

$3.00 Domestic Pitchers, $2.00 Shots of Cuervo, $3 Pitchers 1.75 Rails Rumpleminz, Goldschlager

Mexican Monday Guys'$2.00 Nite Corona, out 1.50 silos Corona Light, Cuervo

77 -- midnight midnight Ladies: Ladies: 22 for for 11 Guys: $1.50 Guys: $1.50 Coors Coors and and Kul Kul Light Light bottles bottles

closed closed

$.50 domestic taps, $1 microbrews, $3 domestic $.50 taps Domestic 3.00 pitchers, pitchers $6 microbrew pitchers

$2 $2Tuesdays, Tuesdays, including including $2 $2 bottles, bottles, import import taps, taps, beer beer pong, pong, apps, apps, single single shot shot mixers, mixers, featured featured shots, shots, and and 50 50 cent cent taps taps

WING WING NIGHT-$1.25/LB NIGHT-$1.25/LB BUFFALO, BUFFALO,SMOKEY SMOKEY BBQ, BBQ,PLAIN PLAIN $1.00 $1.00 PABST PABSTAND AND PABST PABST LIGHT LIGHT BOTTLES$1.50 BOTTLES$1.50 ROLLING ROLLING ROCK ROCK BOTTLES BOTTLES $2.25 $2.25 BUD BUD LIGHTS LIGHTS $1.00 $1.00 SHOT SHOT OF OFTHE THEWEEK WEEK

Topless Topless Tuesday Tuesday

Ladies Ladies Night Night buy buy one, one, get get one one free free wear wear aa bikini, bikini, drink drink free free

Fiesta Eagle'sMexicana Nest

chicken & veggie OPEN-CL fajitas $2 U "Call" it for two

7-CL:night football domestic beer: $1.50 $1.50 domestic Mexican beer:rails $2.00 pints, $1.50

7-CL: chicken $1.50 domestic primavera pints, $1.50 rails

7-CL: shrimp $1.50 domestic pints, burrito $2 craft pints, $1.50 rails

FiestaHollow Mexicana Fox 5200 Mormon Coulee

chicken & veggie fajitasown Build your for Mary two Bloody 16oz Mug - $4.00

football night domestic beer:Pizza $1.50 Homemade Mexican beer: $2.00 & PItcher of Beer

5200 1914 Mormon CampbellCoulee rd.

N3287 County OA

Goal Post Gracie’s Gracie’s Howie's

1908 1128 Campbell La Crosserd. st.

Huck Finn’s The Helm 127 108 Marina 3rd st dr.

$9.00 $5.99 gyro fries & soda

1904 1908 Campbell Campbell rd. rd. 9-cl- NBC night. (Night Before Class) $3 pitchers of the beast Happy Hour 4-9 p.m.

9-cl- $5.99 gyro $3.50 Domestic fries pitchers & soda

717 Rose st. 16

$1.75 domestic bottles

HAPPY HOUR 6 AM - 9 AM Buy one gyro free baklava, ice beer pong 6 p.m. get one free wings 6or p.m. - 9 p.m. cream sundae $8.95 16 oz steak half price with meal Buy$1one gyro free baklava, ice 9-clrails, $2.50 $5 AUCD get one cream or sundae pitchers, Beer Pong half price with meal

$1.75 domestic bottles

$1.75hour domestic happy 4 -6 bottles $2 domestic cans

$1.75 domestic bottles

$1.75 domestic bottles

W4980 Knoblach Rd.

JB’s Speakeasy

pepper & egg sandwich meal: $4.50, fish sandwich meal: $4.99, pepper & egg sandwich ItalianCaptain sausage meal: $3.00 mixers/ mojitos meal: $6.15$5.00 $2 Cherry Bombs meal: Italian sausage $1 Bazooka Joes $6.69 $6.75 shrimp dinner 50 cent taps 4 - 7 (increases 50 cents per Great drinks! hour) $1 rails

$1 cherry bombs $1Keystone silos

Italian beef meal: $6.15 2 Chicago meal: Italian beefdog meal: $3.00 Bacardi mixers/ $3.45 $6.69 mojitos $2 Cherry Bombs 2 Chicago dog $1.50 $1 Bazooka Joes $5.89

meal:

bloody marys 11 a.m. - 4 p.m Great drinks!

Happy Hour 12 - 7

After ClassMixers $3 $2.00 Captain Pitchers $1.75 Rails

12-3: Buy one get Jaeger, one $2.00 Malibu, $2.50 domestic $3.00 Jaeger beer Bombs Holmen Meat Locker Jerky Raffle

Wristband Happy Hour 7 - 9. $2 for all single shot mixers and all AND beers. $2.50 JUMBO CAPTAIN Night $2.50 JUMBO CAPTAIN AND FLAVORED Wristband Night FLAVORED BACARDI BACARDI MIXERS MIXERS $5$5COLLEGE I.D. COLLEGE I.D. $3.00 JAGER BOMBS $3.00 JAGER BOMBS $9$9general public general public Karaoke Karaoke $1 shot $1 shot specials specials

live live DJ DJ $1 shot $1 shot specials specials

7-CL: chili $1.50 domestic pints, verde $2 craft pints, $1.50 rails

HAPPY HOURshrimp EVERYDAY 3 - 6 chili chicken primavera $1.25 Bucketburrito of Domestic verde 25 Cent Wings BURGERS Cans 5 for $9.00

HAPPY specials HOUR All day (everyday!) $1.25 Old Style Light $1.50 LAX Lager/Light $1 shots of Dr.

Bloody Mary specials 10 - 2

JB’s Speakeasy $1.75 domestic bottles Irish Hills 717 Rose st.

$1Keystone silos

$2.50 X-Rated Mixers $2 Captain Mixers $2 Premium Grain Belt $2 Snake Bites

$4.50 domestic pitchers barrel parties at cost $4.50 domestic pitchers Pitcher and Pizza $10

$2.00 Cruzan Rum Mixers, $2.50 Ladies'Jameson Nite outShots, 1.50 $3.00 Raill Mixers mixers/ $2.50 X bombs

$3.00 Patron Shots $2 Pearl Street Brewery beers

$1 $1 Kul Kul Light Light cans cans

411 3rd st.

Cosmic Bowl starts at 9 p.m.

All day, everyday: $1.00 Shots of Doctor, $2.00 Cherry Bombs, $1.75 Silos of Busch Light/Coors All day Everyday: $1 Doctor $2 Silos. M-F: Happy Hour 2-6 $.50 off everything but the daily special

$4 $4 full full pint pint Irish Irish Car Car Bomb Bomb

Dan’s Place

Cosmic Bowl & Karaoke starts at 9 p.m.

batterfried cod, fries, beans, and garlic bread $1 cherry bombs $5.50

77 -- midnight midnight $2 $2 Malibu Malibu madness madness $2 $2 pineapple pineapple upsidedown upsidedown cake cake

7 - midnight 7 - midnight $1 rail mixers $1 rail mixers $2 Bacardi mixers $2 Bacardi mixers

Saturday

$2.50happy Bomb Shots hour $2.50 Ketel One Mixers $2 Retro Beers "Your Dad's Beer"

Stop in for Value Menu too big to list here

$5 bbq ribs and fries

Friday

3-7

$2 Silos

shots of Doctor hamburger meal: 8-Midnight grilled chicken$6 sandmeatball sandwich $3.69 wich meal: $5.29 meal: $6.15 HAPPY HOUR 3 PM - 8 hamburger PM cheeseburger Polish sausage or meal: grilled chicken meal: sandmeatball sandwich 2 dogs meal: $ 5.25 10 cent wings (9 - CL) $3.89 cheeseburger meal: $3.99 $2.50 wich meal: meal: $6.69 Wristband $1 High Life$5.29 bottles $3.89 Blatz vs. Old Style Chicago dog: Polish sausage meal: $1.50burgers, rail mixers$2.60 Tuesday 2meat Chicago dogs meal: $1.25 soup orNight saladw/dog bar makechili your own $2.25 Italian Beef orpitchers marinara $2 Guinness pints $3.89 $4.49 $5.89 FREE with entree or meal: $7.89 tacos, $4.75 taco salad cheeseburgers, $2 off spaghetti: $3.45 large pizza, $1 fries4 - 7 sandwich until 3 p.m. HOUR Italian sausage: $4.95 $2.25 margaritas, $2 HAPPY Martini Ladies' Night ($3.95 by itself) off largeclosed taco pizza with $1 any6pizza Martini Madness Dr. 2 for 1$5 8shots All Mojitos James Martini: vodka, triple $2 off all martinis $3 Jager Bombs taps sec, orange juice $1.50 taps

77 -- CL CL $1 $1 domestic domestic 12 12 oz oz $2 $2 Stoli Stoli mixers mixers

closed closed

Tuesday Wednesday Thursday

Ask 2server 3-9: for 1 for details domestic bottles and rail drinks

Karaoke Karaoke OPEN-CL $2 U "Call" it

Ask server for details

$1.25 domestic taps HAPPY HOUR 3 - 8 GREEK ALL DAY buy one $8.95 16 appetizer oz. steak buy oneHOUR burger HAPPY get one half price appetizer half price 5 p.m. 10 p.m. get one- half price $8.95 1/2 lb. fish platter with meal 9-cl $2 bacardi $1.25 domestic taps 9-cl -$2 captain mixers, GREEK ALLmixers, DAY 9-cl $1.25 rails, buy one appetizer $2 domestic pints, $1.50 $2 bottles/cans, $3 jager appetizer buy one burger half price $1.75 bottles/cans bombs get one half price shots blackberry brandy get one half price with meal

EVERYDAY 3 -7 and 9 - 11 $1 Vodka Drinks $1.00 12 oz Dom.Taps $1.25 12oz prem. Taps $3 Orange Bombs

HAPPY HOUR 5 - 7 Steak and golf $14.95

HAPPY HOUR 5 - 7

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 164


Area food food & & drink drink specials specials ] COMMUNITY SERVICE [Area LA CROSSE

Sunday

Monday

Tuesday Wednesday

Friday

Saturday

Fish Fry

Prime Rib

$2 domestics and rails, 4-8

The Joint

Shots of Doctor $1 all day, everyday

324 Jay st.

Lakeview

Free Wings

N5292 Hwy 35

Legend’s

Thursday

closed

223 Pearl st.

closed

Nutbush

WING NIGHT $2 SVEDKA MIXERS $2.50 JACK MIXERS $2.25 BUD LIGHTS $2 SHOTS OF ALL DOCTOR FLAVORS

closed

Euchre, 7 p.m. AFTER COMEDY: PINT NIGHT $1 PINTS OF RAILS MIXERS AND DOMESTIC TAPS $2 PINTS OF CALL MIXERS AND IMPORT TAPS $3 PINTS OF TOP SHELF MIXERS

$2 SHOTS OF GOLDSCHLAGER $5 DOUBLE VODKA ENERGY DRINK

HAPPY HOUR 3 - 6

3264 George st.

Players

Price by Dice

214 Main St

Ralph's

In John's Bar 109 3rd st. N

Ringside 223 Pearl st.

Schmidty’s 3119 State rd.

2 for 1 Happy Hour ALL NIGHT LONG

Chef specials daily Mighty Meatball sub $6

CLOSED

CLOSED

breakfast buffet $9.95 10 a.m. - 2 p.m.

BBQ Sandwich

Karaoke @ 10 p.m. 2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 - 10 AUCD Rail mixers @ 10 p.m.

Karaoke @ 10 p.m. 2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 - 10 $1 Pabst cans, Dr. shots @ 10 p.m.

chicken parmesan sub $6

Italian sandwich w/banana peppers and parmesan &6

open 4-9

Buck Burgers

Sports Nut 801 Rose st.

Train Station BBQ 601 St. Andrew st.

Top Shots 137 S 4th st.

Yesterdays 317 Pearl st.

LA CRESCENT

Crescent Inn 444 Chestnut st.

WINONA Godfather’s 30 Walnut st.

May 21, 2009

HAPPY HOUR 4 PM - 7 PM cheeseburger HOOP DAY!! MAKE YOUR SHOT AND YOUR ENTRÉE IS FREE!

2-4-1 Happy Hour 3 - 8 Best Damned DJ'S @ 10 p.m.

Chicken salad on rye w/ lettuce, tomato, onion $5 $6.99 FISH SANDWICH FOR LUNCH, $7.99 FISH SANDWICH FOR DINNER, $9.99 ALL YOU CAN EAT FISH FRY ALL DAY

happy hour all day long! $1.00 OFF WILD WINGS, $1.00 PHILLY STEAK AND CHEESE.

Chili Dogs

Tacos

Fish Sandwich

12 oz. T-Bone $8.99

Fish Fry $6.95

All day (everyday!) specials $3 Double Captain & Cokes $2 Double rails $1 Cans of beer

120 S 3rd st.

1019 S 10th st.

Southwest chicken pita $5

2-4-1 Happy Hour 3 - 9 Best Damned DJ'S @ 10 p.m.

LUNCH BUFFET $6.95 Tacos

Shooter’s

Tailgators

double $6.50

2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 - 10 $2 Capt. mixers $1.75 domestic beer, $1.50 Rails, $1 Pabst cans @ 10 p.m.

happy hour all day

$4 domestic pitchers

Tacos $1.25

15 cent wings

HAPPY HOUR 10 AM - 12, 4 PM - 6 PM $2 Bacardi mixers

$2 Spotted Cow & DT Brown pints

Bucket Night 5 for $9

closed

11-3: Extra side with sandwich 4-9: $1 off rib dinner

Special varies

11-3: Barn burner $7.95 4-9: Hobo dinner (serves 2) $30.95

$1.75 light taps and Dr. shots

$1.50 Bud/Miller Lite/ PBR taps all day $1.75 rails 10 - 1

$2 domestic bottles 7 - 12, $2.50 Skyy/ Absolute mixers 10-1 $2 Dr. drinks

$1 Point special bottles

$2.50 pints Bass & Guinness

$1.75 domestic bottles

$2.25 Pearl st. pints $1.50 PBR bottles

Sunday

Monday

Tuesday Wednesday

$2 Rolling Rocks $2 domestic beer

8 - CL $1.50 rails $1.75 Bud cans

$1 shots of Dr. $2.50 Polish

Sunday

Monday

Tuesday Wednesday

ask for great eats

Fiesta Night 7 - 12 $2 tequila shots $2.50 margaritas

family buffet 5 -8 kids under 10 pay .45 cents per year of age

$1 domestic taps $3 Jager Bombs

5 domestic bottles for $10, $2 Bacardi mixers, $1.50 rail vodka mixers 10 -1

$1 Dr. shots $3 16 oz Captain mixers 11-3 $7.95 Chicken on fire 4-9: Bones & briskets $13.95

$2 Long Islands, PBR bottles, Captain mixers

15 cent wings

$1 Dr. shots $3 16 oz Captain mixers 1/2 Chicken 3 bones $12.95

$2.75 deluxe Bloodys ‘til 7, $5 lite pitchers 7 - 12

$1.75 rails $1 PBR mugs

Thursday

Friday

$2.50 Captain $2.50 Jager Bombs & Polish

$2 u-call-it (except top shelf)

Thursday

Saturday

Friday

Saturday

any jumbo, large, or large 1 topping pizza medium pizza up to 5 $9.99 toppings: $11.99 (get 2nd large for $5)

17


Ã

Entertainment Directory 5/21 - 5/27

Thursday, May 21 Del’s Bar Nick Shattuck and Friends The Root Note Open Mic Night Popcorn Tavern Cheech Nighthawks Dave Orr's Damn Jam

May 23, continued 10:00 7:00 10:00 10:00

Starlite Lounge Kies & Kompanie

5:00

Howie's Karaoke

8:00

Friday, May 22 Popcorn Tavern The Brass Kings with Fayme Rochelle

The Joint Zetus Deamos

10:00

Nighthawk's The Troubadour of Rock

10:00

The Waterfront Kies & Kompanie with Chris Frye

8:00

The Root Note Byron Space Circus

8:30

The Timbers Sellout

8:00

10:00

10:00

Monday, May 25

8:00

Popcorn Tavern Shawn's Open Jam

10:00

Peaberry's Songwriter's Showcase

7:00

Del's Bar Chubba's Open Jam

10:00

8:00

Houghton’s John and Mike Caucutt

Howie's Comedy Moose Lodge Time and a Half The Timbers Scott Polito Charlie's Inn Dave Kerska

8:30 7:00 7:30 4:30

The Root Note Experimental Noise Showcase f/ Igloo Martian and Boyle 8:30 Saturday, May 23 Popcorn Tavern Burnt Brownies

10:00

Schmidty's Earthbound

8:00

La Crosse Queen The Journeymen

6:00

JB's The Band That Should Not Be with Paxico 10:00 Bluebird Springs The Fabulous Baloney Skins 18

6:00

Bella Madre, May 21-24

Clark's Grove, Minn: Harmony Park Headliners: Bassnectar, Del tha Funky Homosapien, Tea Leaf Green, Bill Kreutzmann, EOTO We Recommend: The Big Wu, Pert Near Sandstone, Heiurspecs, Panjea, Ana Sia Best Perk: The oak canopy above Harmony Park

Summer Camp, May 22-24

Chillicothe, Ill.: Three Sisters Park Headliners: moe., Umphrey's McGee, Willie Nelson, Keller Williams, Les Claypool We Recommend: Medeski Scofield Martin & Wood, Dark Star Orchestra, Steez, Gomez Best Perk: Three nights of moe., and two nights of Umphrey’s (if you’re into that sort of thing)

Black River Falls, Wis.: NCN North Campground Headliners: Trampled by Turtles, Pert Near Sandstone, Down Lo, Charlie Parr We Recommend: Smokin' Bandits,Vinny Weible & Soul Logic, Sean Shiel Best Perk: The best time you can have at a nude resort with your clothes on!

Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival, June 11-14

Freight House Nick Stika

The Waterfront Kies and Kompanie with Chris Frye

2009 Summer Festy Guide

Campout Roots Festival & Gathering, June 4-7

Sunday, May 24 Popcorn Tavern SuperDeece Band

Ã

10:00

Tuesday, May 26

Manchester, Tenn.: Some big field Headliners: Bruce Springsteen, Phish, Beastie Boys, Nine Inch Nails, David Byrne We Recommend: Erykah Badu, The Mars Volta, Allen Toussaint, Neko Case, King Sunny Adé Best Perk: More music than you could ever see

Bandit County Fair, June 12-14

DeSoto, Wis: Gunner's Headliners: Smokin' Bandits, Great American Taxi, Willy Porter, Fat Maw Rooney We Recommend: Shoeless Revolution, New Grass Review, Porcupine, T.U.G.G., Moon Boot Posse Best Perk:Vince Herman as festival MC

Telluride Bluegrass Festival, June 18-21

Popcorn Tavern Paulie

10:00

The Joint Brownie's Open Jam

10:00

The Root Note Jazz Night

10:00

Telluride, Col.: Telluride Headliners: Sam Bush Band, Elvis Costello, David Byrne, Emmylou Harris, Telluride House Band We Recommend: Béla Fleck & Toumani Diabate, Railroad Earth, YMSB, Todd Snider Best Perk: Being a mile high

Rothbury Music Festival, July 2-5

Wednesday, May 27 Popcorn Tavern Mitch's Open Jam

10:00

Baus Haus Greg "Cheech" Hall

7:00

Del's Bar Cheech

10:30

Nighthawk's Howard Luedtke and Blue Maxx

10:30

Got a show? Let us know! We'll put it in, yo.

Rothbury, Mich.: Double JJ Ranch Headliners: The Dead, Bob Dylan, The String Cheese Incident, The Black Crowes We Recommend: Broken Social Scene, The Disco Biscuits, Femi Kuti, 2020 Soundsystem Best Perk: Panel discussions with artists and environmental activists

10,000 Lakes Festival, July 22-25

Detroit Lakes, Minn: Soo Pass Ranch Headliners: Dave Matthews Band, Widespread Panic, Wilco, Umphrey's McGee We Recommend: Atmoshphere, Ozomatli, Cloud Cult, Railroad Earth, Pretty Lights Best Perk: A shady campsite, all too rare at festivals this size

Big Wu Family Reunion, July 10-12

Geneva, Minn.: Harmony Park Headliners: The Big Wu, Great American Taxi, God Johnson, Pert’ Near Sandstone We Recommend: The Histronic, Steez, Soap, Fat Maw Rooeny, Willie Waldman Best Perk: THE BIG WU!

Lollapalooza, August 7-9

Chicago, Ill.: Grant Park Headliners: Depeche Mode, Tool, The Killers, Jane's Addiction, Kings of Leon, Lou Reed We Recommend: Coheed and Cambria, Fleet Foxes, Thievery Corporation, STS9 Best Perk: Staying in a hotel, taking a shower

editor@secondsupper.com

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 164


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Downtown La crosse, above fayzes - 782-6622

top shots joke of the week

It was said that a black man would be president when pigs flew. And behold, 100 days into Obama’s presidency, Swine Flu. Good People, Good Drinks, Good Times $2.00 - 1 Player, $3.00 - 2 Players 50 Cents Off Drinks, $1 Off Pitchers

$1.75 - Light Taps $1.75 DR. Shots

Saturday May 21, 2009

$1.50 Bud/Miller Lite $2.00 Domestics 7-12pm & PBR Taps $2.50

$1.75

Skyy/Abs. Mixers 10-1AM

$2.00 Dr. Drinks

$2.75 Deluxe Bloody Marys ‘til 7:00 PM $5.00 Light Pitchers 7:00PM - Midnight 19


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Supper vol. 9, issue 164


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