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305 Pearl St. Downtown La Crosse Publisher: Mike Keith

mike.keith@secondsupper.com

Editorial Staff Editor-in-Chief: Adam Bissen

adam.bissen@secondsupper.com

graphic design: Rick Serdynski rick.serdynski@secondsupper.com

Copy Editor: Briana Rupel

copyeditor@secondsupper.com

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Student Editor: Ben Clark

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Second Supper vol. 8, issue 142

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Contributors Jacob Bielanski Adam Bissen Erich Boldt Nicholas Cabreza Benjamin Clark Andrew Colston Ashly Conrad Brett Emerson

Emily Faeth Shuggypop Jackson Maria Pint Radar Briana Rupel Kelly Sampson Rick Serdynski Noah Singer

Sales Associates Blake Auler-Murphy 608-797-6370 blake.auler-murphy@secondsupper.com

Gregg Scharf 608-397-8188 gregg.scharf@secondsupper.com 5,000 Second Suppers can be found weekly in over 300 locations in La Crosse, WI & Winona,MN

Free-Range Media 


Table of Contents

Football Sunday

W/NFL Sunday Ticket!

NCS Buffet Wings At Halftime of PAcker GAmes 11-7 Happy Hour Free Food 11-Gone $1.50 Bloody w/chaser 1/2 Price Pitchers Of DTB

All Day (everyday) Specials: $1.25 Old Style Light $1.50 La Crosse Light/Lager $1.00 Shots of Doctor

The Twilight Zone: one of a kind

page 8

An examination of sex and violence on TV

page 9

Does TV Make "Gay" OK?

page 10

A history of Blacks on the tube,and how it may have helped this election page 11 Dispatches from HQ!

page 12

What have you learned from TV? La Crosse speaks.

page 13

Our new writer begins his road trip feature...in Trempealeau!

page 14

2 - Close 3 12-ounce Domestic Taps $2.00 $1.00 Vodka Drinks $1.00 12 0z Taps DTB, Spotted Cow, Honey Weiss

$1.75 Bottles And Cans Of Coors LIght



The Classic Crime Interview (Warehouse show review on page 19)

page 14

December 4, 2008


Social Networking

the top

Second Supper’s finally on the social networking bandwagon, with a whole chain of townies to answer our deliciously revealing questions. Each week, the interviewee will name someone they're connected to, who will become the next person interviewed, and so it shall continue.You see? We really are all connected.

TV stars to be stranded with on a desert island 1. MacGyver 2. Kramer 3. Grizzly Adams 4. Ginger 5. Mary Ann 6. Mr. Food 7. The Flying Nun

NAME: Allison Krzych, 31 BIRTHPLACE: Manitowoc, Wis. CURRENT JOB: Co-owner, Kick DREAM JOB: I'm living it. COVETED SUPERPOWER: Magical sparkles

What: Norskedalen’s Old Fashioned Christmas When: Saturday and Sunday, December 6 and 7 from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. each day Where: Norskedalen Nature and Heritage Center. 3 Miles north of Coon Valley on Hwy PI Cost: $5 for adults, $2 for kids (K-12), or $12 for families

FAVORITE LOCAL RESTAURANT: Diggers (but I should say Waterfront for Libby)

3 MOVIES YOU’D TAKE ON A DESERTED ISLAND: Complete seasons of Mad Men, Sex In the City and Twin Peaks. TV shows count, right? CITY OR COUNTRY? Downtown 3 BOOKS YOU’D TAKE TO PRISON: Eat Pray Love, How to Parent From Prison for Dummies, Go Dog Go TELL US A JOKE: Jokes aren't my forte.You should call my dad for this one.

Second Supper vol. 8, issue 142

Game shows 1. Jeopardy! 2. Win Ben Stein’s Money 3. The Price is Right 4. Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? 5. The $64,000 Pyramid 6. Rock & Roll Jeopardy 7. Wheel of Fortune

Do this

DREAM VACATION: Two days off in a row

FAVORITE BAR IN TOWN: Bodega

Worst movie remakes 1. Rollerball 2. Planet of the Apes 3. The Cat in the Hat 4. The Wiz 5. Cheaper by the Dozen 6. House on Haunted Hill 7. Gone in 60 Seconds

3 CDs YOU’D TAKE ON A ROAD TRIP: The new Death Cab For Cutie, any Radiohead, and there is always a good time for some Britney. IF YOU COULD PLAY ANY INSTRUMENT PERFECTLY, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Cowbell WHAT IS IN YOUR POCKETS RIGHT NOW? Ha! No pockets! HOW DO YOU KNOW LIBBY? She's a fellow shoe enthusiast (Shuggypop definitely didn't mention to me that Libby wants a free pair of shoes from Kick for the nomination.)

Lately, I haven't been able to decide what has been worse: a few months of relentless (and sometimes dirty) campaign advertising or a few weeks of relentless (and always dirty!) Christmas advertising. Before you start calling me a holiday hater, let me assure you that I, indeed, do possess Santa-esque spirit. However, I refuse to believe that "every kiss beings with Kay" and that "Christmas is cheaper at Wal-Mart." At the latter, the season may be cheaper monetarily, but for what you may gain in holiday savings, you'll surely lose in holiday authenticity. Christmas isn't about scoring unnecessarily-obese amounts of plastic junk at a steal, courtesy of slave labor; It's about the little things: glowing, snow-capped lights, singing classic carols, and handing out handmade Christmas crafts that actually hold meaning (and will actually last through the new year). Enter the Norskedalen Nature and Heritage Center, who — in my eyes — is out to save what I truly love about Christmas. This weekend, hop in the car and bundle up for the scenic drive to Norskedalen's Old Fashioned Christmas event. Out in the snowy, rolling bluffs of Coon Valley, you'll start to recapture the true Christmas spirit by hopping upon a horse-drawn wagon and riding through the decorated grounds of the center.Then, grab some hot, homemade cookies and look on as local artisan Ardell Olson carves festive yule logs. Feeling the Christmas spirit yet? Then feel free to hum along with area musicians as they set the mood with traditional carols and ambient acoustics. If you're accompanied by the kiddies, then they'll love telling Santa their wish list and meeting Rudolph the Reindeer; twenty years from now, they'll remember that more fondly than tearing the wrapping paper open to the newest Playstation. And don't hesitate to bring your sweetheart. Let me tell you a secret, guys: Real women don't need diamonds to make their Christmas special. They want to cuddle on a romantic sleigh ride, share a bowl of Norwegian stew, and scarf down some authentic rommegrot for dessert. So make the weekend trek to Norskedalen and have yourself a merry little Christmas. God jul! — Briana Rupel




Letter from the Editor “Oh, I don’t watch TV.” That’s a pretty common sentiment these days – among my friends, my coworkers, my neighbors, and even myself – and it’s almost never true. We all watch television. Even if we say we don’t, even if we define ourselves by our high-brow tastes in entertainment, TV is still our great uniter. What other medium do we really have for popular culture? I rarely see two people carrying the same novel at the same time, and a glance at the top 10 singles charts almost always leaves me baffled. Lord knows we visit different Internet sites, and while we may esteem cinema as some paragon of high art, those $10 tickets keep us from sharing the movies together. But not television — that’s about as cheap and universal as entertainment comes. No matter if you live in Lanesboro, Minnesota or downtown La Crosse, flip on the tube and you’ll have access to the same shows.Yet for some reason we like to define ourselves by being too cool for TV. Photographer Ashly Condrad and I went around downtown yesterday, asking folks what they learned from television, and the first words from nearly everyone’s mouth was the sentence that begins this letter. Then they talked about the shows they watched and shared nearly the same insights on society. The same thing happened with Second Supper writers when we were bandying around story ideas for this issue. I don’t think any of us have a daily TV watching regimen — well, maybe Maria Pint does; she skipped that meeting — but that hardly excludes us from commenting on the medium. In fact, I think we might even have more insights on the topic than a TV Guide reporter since we’re all affected by television, even if we don’t want to be. I suppose I could be a snob, too: I hardly ever watch television…six days a week. Sundays are the day I rest with NFL football, the Simpsons, King of the Hill, Desperate Housewives, the Fox 25 9 p.m. news (Kurt Kotenberg, holla!) and then, depending on my lethargy, reruns of Two and a Half Men and the first seasons of Lost and Desperate Housewives.



Yes, I watch Desperate Housewives twice a week, and not only am I not afraid to admit this — in a newspaper no less — I celebrate it as something quintessentially American. Once a week, my friends pile on the couches to examine not only the salacious love lives and doomed death wishes of Wisteria Lane’s finest, we also get a peak at that other America, that paradigm of bourgeoisie values that is our destiny to aspire for, or something like that. Lest I romanticize it any more, I don’t mean to suggest that television programs represent the best America has to offer. Far from it. TV is rife with consumerism, languidity, vanity, racism, homophobia, violence, and narrow-mindedness. But then again, so is America. Academically speaking, television offers us a rich opportunity to study society, as TV shows exalt our cultural ideals. That those televised values end up being base or vile shouldn’t just prompt us to make better TV shows. It should encourage us to better ourselves. So with that critique in mind, Second Supper hereby applies its navel-gazing wit to our channel-surfing society. Shuggypop Jackson said he was afraid he submitted a term paper this week, but I thought his analysis of African-Americans on television was astute. Also this week, Brett Emerson deconstructs a particular brand of celebrity, and Nate Willer examines why primetime TV is rife with corpses but we have to purchase premium cable to see a butt crack. Our newest writer Jacob Bielanski probes a different paradox in his debut piece: that the rise in homosexuals on television coincides almost exactly with a string of anti-gay marriage referenda across the country. If Second Supper were a TV broadcast, and I were its lead anchor, this is the point where I’d welcome Jacob to our happy family and say how much I’m looking forward to his work.This includes his regular Road Trip column which debuts this week in Trempealeau — beautiful country up there — and will move to a different day trip destination each issue. So tune in next week, because you never know what surprises will be in store when you’re reading Second Supper. I’m Adam Bissen. Good night. And party on.

December 4, 2008


My new love

By Maria Pint

maria.pint@secondsupper.com Holidays that require time spent with relatives are generally a bad idea for my family. Don’t get me wrong, we love each other and all, but we’re brutal. This past weekend I was reminded why I have such a love/hate relationship with many of my family members. Most of the time we get along famously; you could even say I enjoy spending time with my closer relatives. But you really shouldn’t tell that to my Uncle Al; it’ll only go to his head and prompt him to give me a Wet Willy next time I see him. This Thanksgiving was horrible for many reasons, and I am not talking about the turkey that got burnt. For real, the oven somehow got switched to “clean” and we ended up with a charcoal bird; I was thankful that the stuffing was done in a Crock Pot this year. Traditionally, we spend this random holiday with my mother’s side of the family, which can prove to be interesting. It tends to be an eclectic bunch seeing as how my crazy Great Aunt Rita always gets invited somehow. And no matter how hard we try to stop her, she always manages to get her hands on some red wine. I believe it was Thanksgiving 1999 when she made all of us dance the Macarena and no doubt, that was because of the red wine. Most of the relatives in attendance aren’t that bad though, and I generally just chat with the cousins closest in age to me. One of my cousins is a junior (like me) at the University of Minnesota, and we’ve been pretty good friends for basically our whole lives. So of course we had to catch up a little over some cranberries and mashed potatoes. Naturally, the topic of boys came up. She mentioned that she had gone on a few dates with this boy she knows in marketing and I told her that I had also gone on a few dates with a guy I met in La Crosse.

Second Supper vol. 8, issue 142

No big deal, the topic of boys is one that pops up in our conversations often. And since neither of us is the settling down type, we tend to be discussing a different male each time. In my family though, you don’t really introduce any sort of significant other until a diamond is involved, and this includes even mentioning a boyfriend. So this is a topic we keep to just us girls. Or so I thought. I was downstairs playing trucks with my little cousins for a while after pumpkin pie this year which was totally the highlight of my holiday season. I came upstairs to get a pop when I heard loud voices (louder than usual that is) coming from the dining room. I went in to investigate and found all of my aunts and many of my older female cousins sitting at the table. They seemed to be really excited about something, kind of like how wolves look when they circle an injured fawn. Then I got thrown to the wolves. Apparently, Auntie Mayhem had gotten wind of my cousin going out on a few dates with a boy at school (I blame this on one of my little cousins who likes to eavesdrop) and they were ripping into her for more details and any sort of dirt on the poor chap. She was panicking and saw a way to direct some of the attention away from her by turning them on me. Oh, how I hate relatives sometimes. She looked at me with what was either remorse or glee in her eyes, and shouted “Maria has a boy too!” I don’t often physically drop my jaw in shock but Thanksgiving 2008 was a Maria Pint jaw drop for the history books. I didn’t even know what to do but stand there and look dumb while I endured a barrage of questions and insults. Oddly enough, the insults almost outnumbered the questions about this poor boy because ultimately my family doesn’t care about who I date. What they’re concerned with is making me feel as uncomfortable and awkward as possible when discussing the subject. When all was said and done, they had determined in jest that my cousin must surely be dating a woman after all and that I was definitely seeing a gay man. They’re a pack of cruel Midwestern housewives alright. They totally enjoyed ripping into us over their coffee and pecan pie which I do not think is the point of the holiday at all. Thanksgiving is about appreciating what you are blessed with and I am thankful that this particular holiday comes but once a year. If anything, this has only reaffirmed my vow to never introduce a fiancé to my family until the actual wedding day. In fact, I might just make them all buy me wedding gifts but not allow them to come to the actual wedding. I don’t even feel bad making such statements; they brought this on themselves you know!




Mr. Belding, My Lord and Saviour

Spend The Season With The Animal House! Merry Christmas People!!!

Y Marks

the Spot By Brett Emerson

brett.emerson@secondsupper.com It was one of the best things Tower Records has ever given me, beyond its demise. As my tenure commenced, I found a lunch break artifact that would change the course of my entire life. While flipping through the breakroom television, adjusting the antennae, hoping that a network station’s midafternoon fare could avoid inducing vomit, I found a golden CHUD of a station. Every weekday at 4 p.m., it played back to back episodes of the greatest television show, ever. Saved by the Bell. Memories of my middle school past flooded back with a fury. For a long time in my youth, I spent each evening cramming videotapes into my VCR and recording an hour’s worth of syndicated genius. So great was my idolatry of this masterpiece that I even remember most of the five passwords for the crappy contest they held, where you could win a walk-on role for the show (Mr. Belding, Screech, Bayside, and Preppie – Slater was probably the fifth). Upon the reconnection of my object of worship, I began to preach its gospel once more. It would only get worse. A month in, the scrounge saints of Lion’s Gate released the DVD box set of the first two seasons, and my apartment’s doom was complete. No longer was I an eccentric doomsayer, but a bearer of the plague which would destroy all of my friends. No roommate was spared when I brought this box set home. To resist its charms was like running from a hydrogen bomb. We spent months analyzing the minute details of every episode. It was the heaven of hells. My random sense of boredom led to the next step, the discovery of dustindiamond.com. The Web site was a cacophony of MSPaint greens and pinks, bearing a horridly spelled portrayal of Screech as “a famous superstar and sex symbol.” Uh-huh. The page looked pretty



stupid, until I entered its guestbook, and made a hilarious discovery. No longer was Screech Powers merely a nerd turned assistant principal. No longer was Dustin Diamond merely a washed-up child actor. In the years following “Saved by the Bell,” “The College Years,” and “The New Class,” Screech Powers had been transformed into — a gay icon. I had to be a part of this. It’s like being a Trekkie, if the Marquis de Sade or Robert Mappelthorpe (with bullwhip) was that Trekkie. The dumpster party deviancy which these freaks from around the world spew out is only slightly creepier than their encyclopedic knowledge of the inner workings of Bayside High. What’s the name of the stewardess whom Rod Belding ditches the whitewater rafting trip to schtup? Who’s the acne-blasted Beldacil recovery case? What Mel Brooks film did James the Actor star in? Inga, Craterface Coburn, and Robin Hood: Men in Tights. And these are easy questions. It’s sick! (If any of you think you can stump me, send me an email and take your best shot. I WILL OWN YOU.) Dustin Diamond himself has not failed to notice. In 2003, he filed a cease and desist order against the Web site’s owner (the same guy who runs YTMND.com). The complaint was blown off. The next year, Diamond went further and filed a lawsuit against the site, demanding control. In what might be a precedentsetting case, the National Arbitration Forum ruled against Diamond’s claim, citing legitimate noncommercial fair use. As always, Screech was out on his ass. Given the years of amusement he’s given us since — a horrible prog band, a save-my-house fundraising hoax, a box of terrifying childhood photos, Celebrity Fit Club, and, of course, the sex tape — we deviant filth have never wanted for Screechy entertainment. What could the next step possibly have been, but a gay punk band about Saved by the Bell? And so, my cohorts and I formed the most horrible thing this town has ever seen. THE BELDINGS. Our songs range from the complexities of time paradox, to sexed up robot rampages, to Hollywood types trying to foist drugs upon us, to the beauty (horror) of watching Mr. Belding’s wife give birth while trapped in an elevator. Of course, these croons descend into back alley orgies and gloryhole rendezvous, but it’s still beyond glorious. Hell, we’ve even managed to rhyme the word “Tartikoff.” We’ve played shows involving beauty pageants, dancing robots, abandoned cat food factories, and tributes to Catholicism. But my favorite moment, in a history of classy moments, was when I crooned to a packed room, towering above them on a bar stool, wearing nothing but a strategically placed kneepad. How the fuck did Saved by the Bell take over my life? Why am I not disturbed? Is it because A.C. Slater rocks double belted acidwashed jeans and pink tank tops like Oppenheimer rocked atomic warfare? Is it because Screech has a real purty mouth and an extensive collection of Zubaz? Is it because Mister Belding kicks more ass than any principal from the dawn of time? Or is it because Saved by the Bell is simply and truly the greatest television show of all time? Yes, yes, yes, and YES! I’m so excited. I’m so excited. I’m so… scared!

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December 4, 2008


The Twilight Zone: The exception that proves the rule

By Brett Emerson

brett.emerson@secndsupper.com The saying “they don’t make them like they used to” is misleading. When cut to its core, the statement is little more than a badge of antagonism to the present. We jeer at the imperfect trinkets and entertainments we’re given now, and we throw them away. Years later, they sneak back in, and we welcome them, whether from nostalgia or irony. We’d hate these old things if they remained new, but the fog of age and memory gives the objects of our past an unreal shine. The easy example is music. Bands that were on the cutting edge in the early '90s are now filtering into Classic Rock airplay, elevating them to unassailable status. New Wave has endured a snotty renaissance in this past decade, helmed by preening bands such as the Killers. Even the most vacant pop music of the past 50 years often becomes a fragment of our communal history, once it slides free of present-day birthing pains. In television, nostalgia-or-bust evokes an uncritical vision of Nick at Nite purity, the black and white, separate-bed bliss of the '50s. Communism was the unspoken, agreed-upon devil. Nobody had sex. Everyone was happy. Then things began to change, Lucy had her kid, the Bradys set the nuclear family to meltdown, Archie Bunker shot his mouth off, and Shatner fooled around with anything he could get his hands on. The sitcom propaganda began to splinter. It could be argued that Happy Days was one of the first attempts to create a nostalgia show, an idealized version of then as opposed to the idealized now of the '50s. The obvious formula has been carried by the likes of That '70s Show, which can be called a stunted version of Happy Days, a second-hand nostalgia.The end result of this backward-looking is that, while there remains plenty of room for innovation, the majority of programmers have their eyes centered on what has already worked. ER, House, and Grey’s Anatomy are modern alternatives to Quincy, Ben Casey, and in some ways General Hospital. Reality tele-

Second Supper vol. 8, issue 142

vision is often little more than a game show pushed to an extreme. Sitcoms are, well, sitcoms. Though times and mores have changed, the basic premises of most television shows are much like they used to be. In The Twilight Zone, Rod Serling created the exception. Shows like The Outer Limits and Tales from the Crypt did follow the Twilight Zone’s basic setup of a different cast and story for each episode, which came from the tradition of radio drama.Through this, a great uniqueness arose. There’s an overlooked advantage to presenting each episode as a separate entity, as opposed to the typical TV worlds run by seasons and set casts. In sitcoms, the world is static. The characters are in no danger of escaping endless repetition, save between the seasons. Dramas with an established cast suffer from much the same problem, though something world-shattering tends to happen at the end of the hour in order to drive the plot along. It gets predictable, stale. Single episode stories have the luxury of consequence, and these anthology shows were exceptional in avoiding familiarity. Yet while these three shows have the same base, the philosophies of each series were miles apart. Whereas Tales from the Crypt gave gleeful splatterfests and The Outer Limits was stricter in its science fiction elements, The Twilight Zone’s storytelling was much more surreal, and less situational. As a result, the stories become vast, universal, fantastic yet accessible . They were allowed to have a sweeping range that tied to no one genre. In one episode, B u rg e s s M e r edith finds the downside of an ended world full of books, and in the next,William Shakespeare

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sucker punches Burt Reynolds. And though plot twists were a sure hallmark of The Twilight Zone, they were secondary to the characters, the acting, and the story. In contrast to the common prejudice of the early age of television being one of conformity, Rod Serling wrote some of the bravest scripts in television’s history. Amidst his more surreal tales, Serling would pull out powerful social commentary such as “The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street,” a fable of mass hysteria disguised as an alien invasion. In its veneer as strange entertainment, The Twilight Zone managed to sneak in progressive messages of justice and humanity, unfettered to the age in which they were delivered. Serling’s devotion to his craft did not go unrewarded, and he picked up multiple Emmys for his writing. Following the end of The Twilight Zone, he went on to host Night Gallery, which was a horror-based variant of the earlier show which didn’t share the same acclaim. After Serling’s death in 1975, attempts were made to revive The Twilight Zone franchise, including a four-part movie and two television series. Though the worth of each incarnation is variable (the newest, if it’s any indication, featured theme music by Korn’s Jonathan Davis), none of these match the majesty or depth of the original. Grand storytelling hasn’t gone out of style, but its presence in common-denominator television is almost invisible. As the medium

has grown to pander to the every whim of its audience, that window has grown even smaller. As exceptional and unlikely as Rod Serling’s visions were in the '50s, there is almost no chance that his stripe of nuance would get on today’s tube. But this is no now-dismissive statement, no “they don’t make them like they used to.” With the exception of Rod Serling’s The Twilight Zone, they didn’t make them at all.

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Boob tube: the great misnomer

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TV. It’s that box that you sit in front of so adoringly that the world could end and you wouldn’t even know it. TV is quite possibly the greatest invention of the 20th century (minus my personal favorite the steel drum). Can you imagine what our forefathers would have thought about the television, or what they would have watched? If I were to surmise what they watched I would have say it would be something along the lines of 24 with Jack Bauer battling French Native American terrorists out to steal our mash. Much like today these shows would feature a man killing as many of them as possible in the most extreme ways imaginable. And much like today the one thing you would not find on TV is an areola. But what does this say about Americans? If you watch even 15 minutes of most channels today, it would tell you we still love our guns more than our butter. Violence is the key ingredient in nearly every top-rated show on the tube today. According to TV.com, of the 20 highest rated television shows, at least 11 have death or violence in nearly every episode. And according to the Nielsen TV ratings, the top five shows on TV during November sweeps were Dancing With the Stars, CSI, NCIS, Dancing With the Stars Results, and Criminal Minds. Now these rankings don’t include the shows on channels like HBO, Showtime and other cable networks. But there’s no surprise those networks are littered with violent shows as well. But really, what do these shows mean? Do they mean that we’re more prone to have fantastic dreams where we have superpowers and fly around saving the world or causing havoc? Should it limit those dreams of fornicating in a field surrounded by a sea of nymphs? Perhaps it means that I will go colonial on my neighbor and blast him with my musket should he set

foot upon my land without my permission. With all these colonial thoughts roaming through my head, I have to wonder if that is really what got us into this predicament. If you look back on things, America was founded by a bunch of religious fundamentalists who were persecuted throughout Europe and settled here. Their core values rested firmly upon the Bible and muskets. They were a nation of people born of the musket ball and black powder, and not to mention a Thanksgiving or two.They stood by their beliefs that guns were good and the pleasures of the flesh were bad. So where does that leave us? It leaves us somewhere between madly in love with muskets and a desire to play truth or dare with our middle school friends in some basement. What we’re privy to see on TV these days is a call to our forefathers and their cannons. Now don’t get me wrong here, you can find loads of steamy action on most modern TV shows. But the thing that is always absent is any form of the human anatomy associated with procreation. If you want even the slightest hint of side boob you’ve got to shell out the big bucks for premium channels like HBO or Cinemax. If you’re really into skin, like most people secretly are (don’t lie; your palms are giving that Victoria’s Secret model in the corner a dynamite fu-manchu), pay top dollar for the Internet. This blasphemy on our founding fathers’ values is always met with strict guidelines and warning labels. If a show has any sort of sexual content it is always giving a higher rating such as TV-14 or even M in many cases. Yet if a corpse is shown on TV it will be given a TV-PG or at most a TV-14 rating. Ratings aside these shows are also preceded by a warning explaining the “graphic” content in store for its viewers. Now if you have children, which I don’t (only because TV didn’t show me how) I would be much more worried about them seeing a dead body as opposed to some pubis. Now what sort of message are we sending our youth? The same message our colonial fathers were sending their kids: Guns are cool and you should use them whenever and wherever you can; just don’t make any more people to use them on. How can we move past this? Well, we could kill all of our opposition or we could create more kids who’ll grow up and share our desire to finally see some nip on Desperate Housewives.

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December 4, 2008


Does TV make gay OK?

By Jacob Bielanski jacob.bielanski@secondsupper.com If you’ve never seen the television show Will & Grace, the premise is that of a previouslyengaged heterosexual fashion designer and a homosexual lawyer who now share an apartment in New York City. Critics of the show were rocky on the “dysfunctional” relationship Will Truman (played by heterosexual actor Erin McCormack) shared with Grace Adler (played by potentially asexual actor Deborah Messing). The producers, writers and actors of the show would fight tooth and nail, netting 16 Emmys out of 83 nominations in their 8-year run. On May 18, 2006, the show would end on a sappy note that less eloquent men might call “gay.” Not five months later, 59 percent of Wisconsin residents would vote “yes” on Referendum #1,which updated our state constitution to include: “Only a marriage between one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in this state. A legal status identical or substantially similar to that of marriage for unmarried individuals shall not be valid or recognized in this state.” Weren’t we entering an era of gay acceptance? Didn’t Will Truman and Jack MacFarlane (played by homosexual actor Sean Hayes) show us that homosexuality was far from disgusting and, in fact, very clean and fashionable? “I definitely think the television portray-

als have made people more comfortable with the idea of people being gay, but it's also created a cartoonish stereotype of gay men who know fashion, are overly sexual, etc.” says Ben Peacock, a Coulee Region native and third year law student at the University of Tennessee. “But that is probably a necessary step to creating full acceptance.“ Will & Grace marked a golden era of gay media. It was followed by Queer Eye for the Straight Guy in 2003, a show where five homosexual men transformed a straight person’s life through lifestyle, cuisine, fashion and grooming advice. Hollywood would also jump on the gays-are-OK bandwagon in 2005, releasing the Oscar-winning homosexual cowboy love story Brokeback Mountain. In 2006, The Sopranos created a gay subplot through the outing of the

character “Vito” (played by Joe Gannascoli). Even Desperate Housewives created a stir in their second season through the homosexual playfulness of Andrew Van De Camp (played by Shawn Pyfrom). Alas, 2006 was the year that gays died, figuratively.Vito was randomly jumped by three guys, pummeled with baseball bats and — for some reason — had a pool cue shoved into his rectum. Shawn Pyfrom’s role as Andrew Van De Kamp became almost non-existent in season three. Despite its accolades, Brokeback Mountain would ultimately be reduced by cheesy innuendos. Queer Eye suddenly ended production, despite expanding the focus of their philanthropy beyond straight men, while Will & Grace would use the two-hour series finale at the end of one of their worst ratings seasons. At the end of this era, it seems, homosexual issues left the sound stages and entered our capitals. The same year that Will & Grace went off the air, 10 states would “update” their constitutions with definitions of marriage that excluded homosexual unions. As of 2008, 27 states’ constitutions contain such wording. “It should only be defined legally, but politics and marriage shouldn't mix,” says Peacock. “It's a personal matter; it shouldn't be an agenda.” Lena Plaut, a local Viterbo student agreed. “Unfortunately, to ensure that everyone has an equal right to get married… marriage does

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need to be legally explained and separated entirely from gender.” Were Referendum #1 and Proposition 8 backlashes to the battle lines drawn by Will & Grace? The counter-argument by proponents of Wisconsin’s referendum #1 and similar measures can sound very reasonable. The wording does not ban homosexuality or make it illegal for homosexual couple to exist. In fact, Representative Mark Gundrum, one of the Wisconsin amendment’s co-sponsors, said “…the language does not prohibit the legislature, local governments or private businesses from extending particular benefits to same-sex partners as those legal entities might choose to do.” If absolutely nothing changes, then why is any wording necessary at all? With documented acts of homosexuality dating back thousands of years, what changed in 2008? Defense of marriage proponents have long pointed out that the legalization of marriage in one state does affect another state through the “Full Faith and Credit” clause in the U.S. constitution. According to the clause, any public acts, records, or judicial rulings of one state must be honored by another. Gay couples could use states that recognize civil unions — such as Massachusetts — to force acceptance of such status in their home state. That was the case until 1996, when the

see GAY, page 23

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Second Supper vol. 8, issue 142

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Black like TV By Shuggypop Jackson

shuggypop.jackson@secondsupper.com I'm going to make a rather flimsy claim that our good friend television is what got us to the point of electing a black president. While the topic of race is often a rather dicey subject matter, either coming across as patronizing or offensive, I'm going to go ahead and try to form this hypothesis anyways and let the chips fall were they may. Based on some heat the Second Supper got into before my time here regarding some lame attempt at satire involving the Dick Cheney hunting accident in gangsta rap fashion with N-bombs being dropped, we have been extremely hesitant to touch the race subject in any matter. This half-assed little story is a big step for us down at HQ, folks. In 1951, CBS produced the popular radio show Amos 'n Andy for television, the first program to star black actors. Civil Rights groups such as the NAACP raised hell at the derogatory and stereotyped way the characters behaved and spoke. Similarly, during that era, a program called The Beulah Show on ABC aired portraying a black woman in a very Aunt Jemima fashion. Critics claim both of these shows came across as condescending, offensive and fed negative stereotypes. Personally, I have never seen either of these relics, aside from a few 20-second sound bites while researching this article, but what I saw were characters speaking in a dialect that reminded me of that Disney movie Song of the South where Uncle Remus sang Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah, which has never been released on video or DVD in it's entirety because of the racial insensitivity it is said to contain. Another black actor from that time was Willie Best, who was also known as Sleep 'n' Eat. He made some movies, and also was a regular on the TV shows of the '50s: My Little Margie as Charlie the elevator operator, The Stu Erwin Show, and the Waterfront. I'd never heard of these shows or this guy, but he was portrayed as a clowning buffoon, a stereotypical lazy, illiterate, simpleton. This was the image many white Americans had of blacks at this time, and in some aspects, the starring role of blacks on television today continues to mainly be limited to comedy, if not as blatantly offensive, and not in roles that are serious.

This stereotyping continued up until the late '60s, when Bill Cosby stared in a dramatic role on the show I Spy, and Diahann Carroll stared as a nurse in the NBC program Julia in 1968. The portrayal of blacks as something more than jive-shucking clown sidekicks was groundbreaking. William Shatner gave America its first interracial kiss on an episode of Star Trek, something that must have been extremely taboo at that time. Following on the heels of these programs, television producer Norman Lear made blacks highly visible on television, and thus, started chipping away at the accep-

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tance levels towards blacks of the nonblack viewing audience. Lear's first hit was All In the Family. The shows main character was the antihero Archie Bunker who often made bigoted comments about race and religion. Opposing these statements were his hippie daughter and son-in law, with their black friend Lionel being a regular antagonist of Archie's ignorance. This show ruled the early '70s and through its clever writing showed Americans how ridiculous such bigotry was. Lionel's family was later given a spinoff, The Jeffersons, which showed a wealthy black couple who owned a dry cleaning busi-

ness. Lear also gave America Sanford and Son staring Redd Foxx in 1972, and Good Times in 1974. While the first year of Good Times dealt with societal issues and serious subject matters, the show soon became hijacked by the popularity of the character J.J. who was the oldest son. John Amos and Esther Rolle, the mother and father on the show, were pissed as hell at the throwback buffoonery displayed by J.J. and left the show as a result, making their opinions known in an interview in Ebony Magazine.All of these programs were top 10 shows and were beaming black entertainers into America's living rooms in roles portraying average fabrics of society, slowly eroding away long held segregational mentalities whites held towards blacks. The problem was, despite starring blacks, the people behind the scenes weren't, and you were often getting misunderstandings and ignorance such as the J.J. character as a result, despite positive intentions. All of these shows are still highly circulated in syndication today. Also important at this time were roles such as CBS News journalist Ed Bradley appearing on the Evening News and 60 Minutes as a news correspondent bringing Americans headlines from Vietnam and the White House. In 1977, the massively watched miniseries Roots told the generational story of slavery throughout America's history and cast blacks in serious subject matters. Children's programs like Seasame Street, where some of first teachers outside of family that children, myself included, had were characters such as Gordon, Susan and David, and Bill Cosby's Fat Albert instilled positive moral lessons to children, and more importantly, allowed many of us to become positively exposed early on to black people, creating a generation that was far removed from those previous held in regards to race. As the '80s came about, the visibility of popular black characters were everywhere, from Gary Coleman on Diff'rent Strokes, to Nell Carter on Gimme a Break, Philip Michael Thomas on Miami Vice, Emmanuel Lewis on Webster, Denzel Washington on St. Elsewhere, Eddie Murphy on SNL, and Mr. T on The ATeam. These were shows I talked about with other white kids during recess, pretending to

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Second Supper vol. 8, issue 142

Well folks, it's that time of year again, and I for one can't wait for it to go back from whence it came. I'm talking about, of course, our favorite form of frozen precipitation: snow. It's only been here like a week and a half and in my opinion, that's long enough. Now I get to look forward to frozen sidewalks providing me with more than ample opportunities to perform what looks like a retarded break dance to bemused onlookers. Like I needed anything to help me look more like a dork. On top of the sidewalks that seem like they were designed by Mr. Freeze, the roads are going to be shittier than usual...and my tires are basically bald. That's right, I'm driving on nothing but inner-tubes. The first day that I awoke to the what the wife-beating Bing Crosby referred to as a "Winter Wonderland," I was treated to the wonderful treat of my 2000 Toyota Sienna taking a simple, slow right turn to get to work. Apparently, less of an inch of snow was enough for my trusty minivan to fishtail to the sides and squeal as the anti-locks did their best to keep from going through a stop sign and into oncoming traffic. I was lucky this time, but I know it's only a matter of time. Screw winter. Wake me up when it's April. — Ben Clark

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Last Thursday was not my finest Thanksgiving. The day before, I became so burnt out that a revival of early evening boozing seemed in order. I returned to my stately manor, intending to procure some orange juice from the store down the street to mix with my cache of vodka. But as soon as I sat down, the K.O. arrived. I slept 14 hours. When I awoke at eight in the morning, the liver-bust goal of the prior evening remained in my pilgrimy brain. So I put on my thin-soled slippers and trudged to the gas station, where I claimed the missing ingredient in my intoxicant alchemy. By noon, I was annihilated, and watching with horror as the new Transformers movie pissed on my childhood. The trauma may have caused me to blank out. It was a wretched beginning of the day, but I had responsibilities to attend to. The plan was to go to my grandmother’s house, where I would devour stuffing and mashed potatoes with abandon. My swirly japes could be no impediment, but I couldn’t drive.To my girlfriend’s apartment I stumbled.We ate a pre-game of delicious pasta and chicken, made ready to leave — when I passed out. When I awoke, Thanksgiving was all but over, and I had an unnatural 8 p.m. hangover. The next few hours were spent in an attempt to dry heave my headache into a shower drain. The purge didn’t work, though I reminisced on the delicious pasta and chicken. A miracle at 11 set me in sudden good health, but it was too late; I had to go to sleep, in fear of Black Friday’s wrath. Consumer hell took my spine, and the K.O. came early again, but not before I raided my grandmother’s leftovers. Small compensation. — Brett Emerson

Dan Breeden SCARED! Dan Breeden is most famous man in La Crosse. The last time I polled a room full of people, more than twice as many knew the Breeden as could identify the mayor of our fair city. (It’s something Johnsrud, by the way.) He’s been La Crosse’s weather guy for over 20 years, which means I’ve known Dan Breeden longer than 99 percent of all the people I've ever met. With those deep-seated roots and unchallenged supremacy as the dean of La Crosse television, the Breeden seemed like a natural person to interview for this issue. “What’s it like,” I imagined asking him, my eyes lighting up like a 5:53 a.m. sunrise. “Do you feel some kind of unnatural pressure, being both a member of the community and its most famous figure?” I could only imagine what kind of life the Breeden must lead. I figure it involves a lot of time poring over Doppler maps, but I bet even trips to the grocery store are interesting when you’re the most recognized man on television. Celebrity is such a fickle commodity, yet it’s among the most esteemed in American society. Breeden got it. He’s the alpha-weathercaster, the B.M.O.C., heavy is the head … — all that intrigue, and I’ll never know what makes him tick. You see, Dan Breeden shot down my interview request. He sounded so cheery on the telephone — answering it “Weather?”, chuckling a bit, saying “ooh” a lot while thinking — but ultimately he had to run it past Management. Or so he says. I’ll never know the full story as I didn’t get a call back, only a terse email: “Hi Adam; I will have to turn down your request for an interview at this time.” He never even signed his own name. So here I sit: rejected, curious, powerless, and hurt. Obviously Breeden didn’t like our little banter in the past, or maybe he was afraid of sitting down with the independent press. Or maybe he’s a fragile butterfly, too, and all this celebrity burdens him in ways we’ll never understand. Breeden, you are an enigma wrapped in a mystery clouded by fog. Perhaps Bill Graul can take the heat. — Adam Bissen

12


What have you learned from Television?

Phil Jahnke Sauer, 30 Adult education

JoJo Brockberg, 26 Barista

"I learned to cook over many, many, many, many years of watching public television. That piqued my interest, and I just went on from there."

"The throwing away of so many commercial products. We're throwing away more than ever, and that's all I see. It's just a small thing that everyone could pay more attention to."

Jeff Hotson, 54 Owner, Bodega Brew Pub

John Kelley, 22 Musician

"That big business and corporations are getting stronger and their craftiness is becoming evident.They make it sound like they're on the side of Joe the Plumber, but they're really not. They hold no allegiances but to the almighty dollar."

"I learned a lot of life lessons through Boy Meets World."

Bonnie Hotson, 77 Retired

Micah Bentley, 22 Musician (left)

"I watch CNN. It lets you know what's going on in the world."

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" Through Forensic Files and Truth TV you learn a lot of crime solving techniques. I feel like I could solve a crime singlehandedly right now."

Stephen Jenkins, 22 Musician (right) "On Larry King Live you learn a lot about alien abductions."

Pat Hanratty, 61 Psychologist "There's shows on UFOs. I always thought there was nothing to that, but now there's UFOs and USOs -- unidentified sea objects. They see them around the world. I never knew that, but I was folding towels at home, and I was watching this show. It's quite interesting."

Dan Nielson, 51 Owner, Wine Guyz "I've just learned to stay away from it."

793 -1470 December 4, 2008


Too Close to Be True: Trempealeau, Wisconsin The Classic Crime Interview Travelogue

By Jacob Bielanski contributing writer

Trempealeau, Wisconsin is further proof that Mother Nature hates Minnesota. From a topographical standpoint — with its jagged bluffs and sandstone outcroppings — this city belongs to Minnesota. However, a few thousand years ago the Mississippi made the decision to veer to the west of Trempealeau Mountain. For that, we in Wisconsin should be grateful. At only 22 miles north of La Crosse, it would be a sin for any who owns a car — or knows someone who owns a car — to not regularly make this trip. The journey up Highway 35 is itself a visual treat of the bluffs that make the Coulee Region — well — “couleeful.” Pulling off of the interstate on onto the two-lane, 55 mile-per-hour road, you feel the land become flatter, the homes more bucolic. If it wasn’t for the sudden appearance of a large bluff, one might miss Trempealeau altogether. Downtown Trempealeau is hard to pin. The bastard child of a quiet farm town and a tourist destination, it’s not built to cater to outsiders and yet it doesn’t hesitate to welcome them. As a veteran of cheesy tourist destinations such as Las Vegas, Nevada and Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, I welcomed this blend. The historic Trempealeau Hotel exemplifies this dichotomy. Now open for the winters, its staff demonstrated an advanced knowledge of liquid libations with two New Glarus specialties on tap, a beer special of the day, and a selection of organic wines on the menu. I even heard one server warn a gentleman that “…it’s a Bavarian lager, so it’s a little heavier.” Their menu demonstrates a degree of eclecticism in the kitchen, with fare ranging from walnut burgers, to seared ahi tuna. The artfully crafted medium-rare olive burger, however, was oddly matched with the grocery store tortilla rounds, mild salsa and a dill spear. Of course, at $3.50 a domestic beer (or $5 for a Guinness), the Trempealeau Hotel may be outside of the day-tripping range of average Joe. Hungry Point — down by Lock and Dam #6 — promises cold beer, hamburgers and live bait. I can only assume that the latter

Second Supper vol. 8, issue 142

is intended for fishermen. Delightful as they may be, the cuisine and cultural ambiance aren’t the primary reason for spending the $3.60 in gas (est. round trip at $2/gal. in a 25mpg vehicle). The real reason why it is worth our time to find our way here is the same reason that French explorer and fur trader Nicolas Perrot made winter camp here in 1685 — Perrot State park (of course, it wasn’t called that when he showed up). This magnificent park costs only $7 per vehicle, but after one visit you’ll probably be considering the $25 yearly pass. There’s a ridiculous amount of beautiful land to explore, with winding trails taking you up to Brady’s Bluff, Perrot Ridge and Reed’s Peak. Additional cross-country ski trails meander throughout the hills. Atop these bluffs, one begins to get a true sense of the ineffable magnificence that is the Mississippi river valley. The most curious feature of the park is Trempealeau Mountain. This is where the area truly gets its name, having originally been called “La Montagn Qui Trempe a L’eau” or “The mountain whose foot is bathed by water.” Trempealeau Mountain sits like an ominous island of the Mississippi, towering 388 feet out of Trempealeau bay. It has the makings of an excellent canoe and climbing trip. I felt like quite a tough guy, ascending the Perrot Ridge trail. Trying to catch my breath amidst the breathtaking beauty, I was suddenly joined by an elderly couple. “Isn’t it beautiful?” the woman asks. They seem like regulars. I ask if they’re from the area. “Oh no, we’re from the Cities,” she says, “but we always make a point of coming down here.” I’m suddenly ashamed. I lived in this area for over 23 years and only now have I begun to discover this park. Our definition for exotic always seems to have a minimum mileage stamped to it — if it’s too close, it can’t be worth the time. Yet this is a sin that we in Wisconsin all seem to suffer; heading through town later, I couldn’t help but notice that all the cars seem to have Minnesota license plates. Perhaps the Mississippi didn’t err in our favor so many thousands of years ago. Maybe that old man river just knows we fickle humans have a tendency to ignore that which is in our back yard. Photos by Jamie Peacock

following; does that help in this goal? MM: Oh, sure. We communicate with all the people who listen to our music, and reach people who haven’t heard of us yet. It’s probably the most important media presence we have. SS:There is a double-edged sword to internet promotion, though, in that a lot of bands get lost in the shuffle. What does The Classic Crime have to offer to stand out in the crowd? MM: We always try to respond personally to the messages we get. We post video blogs and tour updates to keep people coming back and entertained. SS: Is there anything musically that sets you apart?

By Brett Emerson

brett.emerson@secondsupper.com

MM: I don’t think so. There are people doing everything. We try to do our thing, but I don’t know if we’re doing anything specifically unique.

Like many things these days, this interview became about money. Matt MacDonald, lead singer for Warped Tour veterans The Classic Crime, spoke with candor about the financial realities a band faces in getting the word out. Though no band has ever lived purely on love, the current atmosphere, according to MacDonald, leaves proletariat idealism firmly on the back shelf. Nonetheless, this band stakes claim to its own purpose, its own aims. And as MacDonald explains, not all currency is measured by numbers.

SS: Well, your new album [The Silver Cord] has a lot of different sounds to it. You have 15 tracks: desperate waltzes, punk anthems, glory rock. Was it conscious to bring together many different song styles?

Second Supper: In name and music, what is The Classic Crime?

SS: What style of song is your favorite?

Matt MacDonald: The name is really random words. There have been a lot of theories on what it means, but I don’t think we’ve ever settled on one.

MM: Our band tries not to be pinned down to a specific genre. We like to employ different sounds and styles of music.That comes from us listening to different styles. We know it could potentially hurt us to not play up one specific style, but if it’s a good song, and sounds good, we feel it should go on the record.

MM: I like our slower stuff, personally.

see CLASSIC CRIME, page 19

SS: How did the band come together and get signed to Tooth & Nail? MM: Justin [DuQue, guitars] and Skip [Erickson, drums] went to high school together, and went to college together. They met Alan [Clark], our bass player, at college and started playing together. I think they met Robbie [Negrin, guitar] at the mall. They put an ad in the paper for a vocalist. I tried out, and that’s how I met the band. That was about five years ago. SS: Is there an overall philosophy to the band? MM: We try to make music that we enjoy listening to, and music that is positive in people’s lives. For me personally, music has been therapeutic in a lot of ways; it’s helped me through a lot of things. We hope that we can be that to somebody who needs it. SS: You’re credited as having a large MySpace

14


Reviews: Your Guide to Consumption Tuneage

Ã

Guns N' Roses — Chinese Democracy The wait is over. Is it worth it? Hard to say. Guns N’ Roses' long, long, long awaited release of Chinese Democracy has finally passed the House and the Senate and made it out to the people — simultaneously jumping China’s Great Wall and the shark. Bucking the inevitable, impossibly high expectations (and just about all the original band members), it’s at least safe to say the release itself is a relief after the culmination of fifteen or so years of hype and hyperbole. As expected, most of the album suffers from overthinking and over-production, though it ends up being a battle of two halves. The first half meanders around through too densely distorted guitars, uninspiring pontifications and too many attempts at modern production experiments. Axl can still belt it out, but any of this incarnation of Slash-by-committee’s (Robin Finck, Buckethead and Ron “Bumblefoot” Thal) contributions are hardly noticeable to the extent that would be necessary to carry this record anywhere until the later tracks. The second half offers a few genuinely pleasing moments for fans of Axl’s pleading piano ballads and where GN’R’s famously cascading guitar heroics begins to emerge. Redemption is almost attained with

the pop-heavy “Catcher in the Rye” onward, and “Riad N’ the Bedouins” begins an aesthetic run of the final five tracks, including the superb “Madagascar” and the closer “Prostitute”, which nod to the soulful, operatic hooks from Use Your Illusion and the focused direction of the band’s masterpiece, Appetite for Destruction (one of the most important albums of our generation). Perhaps it’s too little too late, but it’s a stylish way to wrap up a release that could have easily been an absolute disaster. — Andrew Colston

Gettin' Shuggy with it Oh hi, right now I'm listening to MP3s off of this site ubu.com filed under their 365 Days Project. UbuWeb is a site "dedicated to all strains of the avant-garde and outsider arts." You can find bizarre short films, writings, a wide spectrum of art, and music. The 365 Days Project is a collection of obscure audio sections uploaded by a collective of oddball music lovers, the majority coming from DJs at WFMU, the oldest free-form radio station in America located in Jersey City, New Jersey and broadcast throughout New York City. What is contained in the 365 Days Project is hard to explain, nor will it be recognizable to any of you. As the Web site says, "some words to describe the material featured would be… Celebrity, Children, Demonstration, Indigenous, Industrial, Outsider, SongPoem, Spoken, Ventriloquism, and on and on and on. The best thing to do is to simply listen." That doesn't really help much though, but the thing is, there isn't much I could say that really would help describe what is contained in this huge collection of oddness. As I'm typing this, a group called

Humpback Whale is covering Also Sprach Zarathustra on several kazoos and a jug. Before that was an educational record from the mid '70s called Picking Up Girls Made Easy, where some cheeseball goes to a clothing store to use some lame pickup lines on the ladies. Before that, the British Diabetic Association Children's Choir sang a little ditty called "We're Diabetic, So What!" Princess Ramona has a song called "Then I Start To Yodel" off of her album Yodeling Praise Unto The Lord. Princess Ramona is dressed up in Algonquin tribal garb on the album cover of this gem that's filled with songs of devotional yodeling for Jesus. So, do you get the idea yet? All these MP3s have a paragraph or three giving some details of the song. I had a radio show for several years, and would often dig into the thousand plus MP3s on here when I wanted to push the WTF envelope for my listening audience. On that note, I leave you to dig for yourself. By the way, the videos on this site are pretty badass too.— Shuggypop Jackson

Pecan Harvest Abita Brewing Company Abita Springs, Louisiana A good beer should reflect the tastes of its home. For example, East Coast lagers often give deference to colonial recipes; West Coast brews can be extremely flavorful due to highaltitude hops; and St. Louis brews are often middling and watery, a testament to … oh, I kid; I kid. Nonetheless, I do feel that varied topography and agricultural outputs are two of the traits that make America — and, by extension, American beers — great. This is why I was especially pleased this weekend when my sister came home from Louisiana with a local six-pack stowed away in her suitcase. Although I might be the most vocal champion of Wisconsin beer this side of Dan Akroyd, I do love drinking geographically, and this Pecan Harvest Ale is a perfect example of brewers Appearance: 6 looking local. Louisiana grows Aroma: 9 pecans, an estimated 19 million pounds of Taste: 6 them in 2007. Pairing a state legume with Mouthfeel: 2 an American brown ale is an admirable Drinkability: 7 idea, so I suppose I shouldn’t blame the pecan when the beer Total: 30 adopts its dry and

light tendencies. The pecan job starts with the pour, paler than any brown ale I’d ever seen (we’re talking Budweiser pale here), but upon closer inspection the chalky appearance seems to reveal particles of real nuts. Pecan aromas are heavy on the nose, floating almost indulgently over a bed of cinnamon and maple syrup. Lifting it to the lips, malt flavors dominate before creeping dryly down the base of the tongue. Regrettably this has one of the thinnest palettes of any beer I’d ever sampled. There’s some interesting pecan notes, but flavors barely eke from the light body, and it finishes dryly and slightly metallic. The aftertaste — while unlike any other — is kind of annoying, evoking the sensation of having eaten a peanut butter saltine ten minutes ago. Second edit: Wow — I’m such a Yankee. I can’t believe I just came up with that metaphor. A southerner would probably compare this beer to eating a pecan sandie. — Adam Bissen

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December 4, 2008


Reviews: Your Guide to Consumption Film

Cult Classics

Synecdoche, New York HHHH

Transformers: The Movie (1986)

Director: Charlie Kaufman Cast: Philip Seymour Hoffman, Catherine Keener, Michelle Williams Writer: Charlie Kaufman Some movies actually make more sense when viewed under the influence of marijuana. Films written by Charlie Kaufman (Being John Malkovich, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) especially send the audience on a groovy trip initially without the use of drugs.Therefore, the best way to unlock everything Kaufman's films have to offer is by viewing them more than once. Synedoche, New York, for example, contains a vast array of crass dialogue, marvelous acting, and hidden motifs, all of which cannot be processed in one viewing. But that's a good thing, because with a gargantuan drama such as this about Life, it's reassuring to know that the screenwriter chose not to make it all seem so simple. Synecdoche's centerpiece is a depressed, neurotic theater director named Caden (Philip Seymour Hoffman), a fictitious reflection of Kaufman, who is awarded a fellowship not too long after his artist wife (Catherine Keener) takes a trip to Germany and never comes back. With his grant, Caden plans to stage an epic production with a cast of hundreds inside a

giant rundown warehouse. The subject of his epic — Life; his life specifically. His scheme involves finding actors to play everyone he's ever interacted with, ever, including himself; which then requires actors to play the actors playing the real people, and this framework continues to multiply ever so dizzyingly until they spill over into each other, the line between acting and reality becomes blurred, and the actors become more like the people they're playing than the people themselves. And the confusion doesn't stop there, for it seems that time, in Synecdoche, New York, is a hellacious riddle that speeds up, slows down, and runs in circles, sometimes all at once. And yet sorting out the confusion is only one reason this movie warrants multiple viewings. The fact is, rating this movie on any kind of scale might be impossible, or at least grossly inaccurate, because the film, the play within the film, the play within the play within the film, etc. all work on the viewer's mind in such an indivisible way as to create a very distinct interpretation. It's safe to say that every single person who sees this movie will walk away feeling something different than everyone else, perhaps every time. For me, this time, it was near-perfect. — Nicholas Cabreza

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Second Supper vol. 8, issue 142

Directed by: Nelson Shin Starring: Judd Nelson, Leonard Nimoy, Robert Stack, Orson Welles Written by: Ron Friedman I held out for as long as I could. When Michael Bay released his update on the robotic heroes of my youth, I expected the worst. The Bruckheimer/Bay school of filmmaking has always been high on shit blowing up, vapid dames, and bad puns. While this formula produces some winners — I’m the only person I know who consistently defends Con-Air as hilariously cool — the average is dumbed down action film self-parody, malformed Rambo spawn. And when the average drops out, we get truly wretched cinema like Armageddon. So when I, a person who owns every single episode of the original Transformers cartoon, heard that Mr. Armageddon was at the helm, I imagined a highly erotic scene in which Optimus Prime paraded animal crackers along Megatron’s exposed midriff. And so I avoided modernity like the plague. It’s all Mike Nelson’s fault. These days, the Mystery Science Theater 3000 star is doing, well, pretty much the same thing as he did on that show. But as opposed to the old-school skewering of obscure cinema, Nelson’s enterprise, titled RiffTrax, takes a larger aim at Hollywood blockbusters, savaging them alone or with guests including the old MST3K crew and Neil Patrick Harris. Obviously, the studios which produce such wonderful films as Roadhouse and Batman and Robin aren’t too keen on some wiseass selling their movies, much less with overdubbed mockery. To get around this, Nelson only provides the commentary, and leaves it to the viewer to supply the movie. Sync the two together, and magic! It’s a great idea, if you’re not too lazy to pull it off. For schmucks like me who can’t be bothered with buying the shit movie, there’s another option. Piracy! There are many RiffTrax torrents floating around the Internet with the syncing already taken care of. Though Radiohead has shown us the unlikelihood of this happening, one can always go to the RiffTrax site and donate the money they would have paid on the download. Clear conscience. So this is what I did. A bonanza of RiffTrax goodness spent weeks in limbo, slowly shuffling into my computer. Ages after, I had 13 fullymocked films at my disposal. Good times were ahead. One of these movies was the updated, super-cool, Michael Bay Transformers flick. Though I remained fearful of the sure bastardization of my old champions, I figured that if I was going to watch it at all, taking on the ordeal with the RiffTrax choir at my back would be the best way to do it. And being drunk. They didn’t help.Transformers was a flaming piece of shit, as bad as my worst fears. Where do I even begin? With the tweekedout military dudes who kick more ass than the robots? With the cadre of sassy governmentappropriated hackers, which of course includes a sultry blonde Australian? Bernie Mac as a

scummy used car salesman? Shia LeBeouf as the hope of the universe, albeit one who owns a drugged up Chihuahua? How about the Nelly Furtado looking midriff queen who serves as his overtanned love interest? Why be choosy? They’re all assholes. There is no human in this movie that I didn’t want turned into robot hamburger. The androids aren’t much better. Say what you will about kids’ cartoons designed to pump out toy lines. Their characters tend to have some shred of personality, some traits which set them apart from the rest of the line. The Transformers cartoon mastered this maxim. Among the ranks featured a methodical tape deck, a quixotic UFO, and dim-witted robot dinosaurs. Michael Bay had an evil cop car, an evil helicopter, a token black guy robot (who of course is the token casualty), and an evil ninjabot who nobody could apparently see, even in plain view. Whoopee. Starscream, a villain on par with the great Skeletor, is reduced from Machiavellian magnificence to one more of the all-grey legion. If the robot isn’t the heroic Optimus Prime, the evil Megatron, or Shia LeBeouf’s Camaro, it’s disposable, and that goes against the spirit of the entire cartoon. Oh, they crash into things, and the violence is all very impressive, but Transformers it ain’t. So fuck Michael Bay and his hip fucking movie. I present an alternative. Straight from the golden age of toy-marketing cartoons, it’s Transformers: The Movie — the original animated one, where the robots have personalities and the humans know their roles and stay out of the main plot. The original cast is far superior. John Bender from The Breakfast Club teams up with Mr. Unsolved Mysteries to take down Mr. Spock and Citizen Kane? A Citizen Kane who is, in fact, a robot planet which devours other planets for sustenance? Hell yes! The story? Everyone dies! In this rare case, the toy marketing demands of the cartoon offered an opportunity to break from the sitcom formula and leap into a drastically new direction. So Optimus Prime gets blown away, and children weep. Gravitas! And in the course of determining the new order, this movie lays down some musical gold. “The Touch” is a horribly wonderful “Eye of the Tiger” wannabe that later found its way into Mark Wahlberg’s singing register during “Boogie Nights.” And Weird Al’s greatest song ever, the Devo-robbing “Dare to be Stupid,” accompanies a robotic breakdance-fest on a junkyard planet. The movie could have ended right here, and it would have been perfect. So that’s it! The old Transformers movie is better than the new one. Bah-weep-granna wheep ni ni bong, motherfuckers! — Brett Emerson

16


I'm Jonesin' for a Crossword "Hidden Strength"--yes, we can solve this puzzle. By Matt Jones Across 1 Backside 7 Vehicles at stands 11 Body art, slangily 14 City east of Denver 15 Give ___ on the shoulder 16 ___ Lilly and Company 17 Occupation in a Eugene O'Neill title 18 Hold up a group of stores one at a time? 20 Claim from a fan of a classic oozy horror movie? 22 "Funky Cold Medina" rapper Tone ___ 23 Have on 24 Superhero with the power to produce Japanese noodles? 32 Hosp. staffers 33 Actress Dushku 34 Waldorf, for one 36 Did some shoe repair 39 Beachside changing facilities 43 Yankees captain Jeter 45 Make big speeches 46 Today, but quicker

49 Feature of a Canadian weatherman's display, perhaps? 52 Change for a five 54 Paving material 55 Hope/Crosby travel flick that takes place in Mali's capital? 64 Coffee additive en-

dorsed by Star Wars bounty hunter Fett? 65 Line showing a cold front, maybe 66 It ain't nothing 67 "___ is only an egg's way of making another egg" (Samuel Butler)

68 Doing some bodybuilding refinement 69 Presidential monogram of the 1950s 70 Nine-digit IDs 71 Condescending Down 1 Switch partner?

2 "That's gotta hurt!" 3 Palm, e.g. 4 Memorial monument 5 Like some exams 6 Shoe designer Blahnik 7 Capital near the Caribbean 8 Nuclear fission target 9 "The Howard Stern Show" crony ___ Booey 10 Like, totally uncool person 11 Little sample 12 Late rock guitarist Duane 13 Bathroom floor workers 19 44-down noise 21 Kids' show builder 24 "___ Favourites" (2005 compilation album from the Tragically Hip) 25 Ginger ___ 26 "___ for Killer" (1994 Sue Grafton novel) 27 ___ Center (New Jersey Nets' current

arena, named for a menswear company) 28 City with a steady history in witch tourism 29 Justin Long role, in a computer ad 30 Chicken-king link 31 Prominent person 35 1984-2008 Olympic swimmer Torres 37 Elizabethan, for one 38 Rec room 40 1960s war theater, for short 41 ___ standstill 42 Mo. for Independence Day in Brazil 44 Litter that may not be ready for litter yet 46 Worth a B+, perhaps 47 Waiting for a party, perhaps 48 Toy advertised with the slogan "but they don't fall down" 50 ___ Te Ching 51 Planetary paths 53 Mrs., in Madrid 56 Grandmothers, in Germany 57 Massage parlor

Answers to Issue 141's "Court Case"

sounds 58 Fourth-column selection in Battleship 59 "Kurt Cobain: About ___" (documentary) 60 Ailment also called "the kissing disease" 61 Somewhat 62 "Critique of Pure Reason" philosopher Immanuel 63 Menage-a-many?

Š2008 Jonesin' Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0390.

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December 4, 2008


Happenings classifieds $790 / 2br - Beautiful, Spacious Upper- Garage, Garden, Porch 115 N. 13th Street, La Crosse Conveniently located near the YMCA, UW-L,Viterbo, and downtown. Security Deposit $750 is due at lease signing. This is a short term rental available from December 1st through April 31st. SUBLEASE: 3 Bedroom House 1727 Mississippi St Available now thru June 1st (option to renew). Cool 3 bedroom house + den, dining room, w/d, pellet stove, and more. No Pets! 784-6731 2001 18ft Bayliner ski boat snap fit cover, 125hp Mercury, ski pylon 608-385-5315, $9400 2001 Jeep Cherokee Sport blue, cd, pl, pw, 262-893-8313, $5900 King pillow top mattress set in Package, $255, Full Sized Set $120 Deliverable 608-3994494 Queen pillow top mattress set Brand New Still in Plastic, Can Deliver 608-399-4494 80 acres of hunting land Trophy bucks & turkeys, etc. Can build on it. $4400 per acre. 16 x 80 Mobile Home On the bluff, 3 BR, 2 Bath, fenced yard, garage, deck. Available now. $22,900 or make offer. 608-7842513 or 317-0980.

GOT SOMETHING TO HAWK? We’re starting a new classifieds section just for you. For $10/wk, you get three lines (25 words) to get rid of that old grill, those sweet rollerblades, promo your Garage Sale, or sell that extra kidney quick! (Just kidding, that’s not legal.)

Interested? send your 25 words to: copyeditor@secondsupper.com Submissions will be edited for length and inappropriate content. Please include current billing address and contact info.

ongoing events SOCRATES CAFE

Every Monday Acoustic Cafe Winona, Minn. 8 p.m. Philosophical discussion group YOGA

Every Tuesday Bluffland Bloom & Brew La Crosse approx. 7 p.m. All ages, skill levels welcome Donations gladly accepted FIGURE DRAWING

Every Wednesday Green Bay Street Studio La Crosse greenbaystreetstudio.blogspot.com 6 p.m. - 8 p.m. cost is $5 ($3 for members and students) WINONA AREA PEACEMAKERS VIGIL

Every Thursday Central Park Winona, Minn. 4:30 p.m. POETRY READING

Every Sunday Bluffland Bloom & Brew La Crosse Begins at dusk Open mic reading, come to read or just to watch. Free and open to all ages. COMMUNITY HARVEST

Every Sunday Private home, email for details Winona, Minn. 2 p.m. Free food and talent

art exhibits SENIOR EXHIBITION University Gallery at UW-L Nov. 21 through Dec. 10 The exhibit opens with a reception from 5 to 7 p.m. Friday, Nov. 21, in the gallery. The exhibit and reception are free and open to the public. Exhibiting are Matt Duckett, Carrie Crase, Libby Hansen, Aala Daous, Stacy Johnson, Kylie Parry, Lanore Hahn, Megan Rhodes and Nancy Maring. During the exhibit, the adjacent Study Gallery will feature “Art 160, Books.” Gallery hours are noon to 8 p.m. Monday through Thursday, noon to 5 p.m. Friday and Saturday and during events in Toland Theatre. The gallery will be closed Nov. 27-30. .

camping WHISPERING PINES 15 minutes north of La Crosse, on Hwy 53 925 Dana Ln. Holmen, WI 608-526-2152 NESHONOC LAKESIDE CAMP RESORT N5334 Neshonoc Rd. West Salem, WI 608-786-1792

upcoming events upcoming events THE OLD SCHOOL VARIETY SHOW

"THE CRITTER KIDS" CD RELEASE PARTY

December 4 - 6

December 12

Pump House, La Crosse www.thepumphouse.org Presenting the "Holiday Show", recreating the experience of entertainment in the days before radio and television. $12 in advance or $15 on the day of the show. A VITERBO CHRISTMAS

December 6 - 7 PETTIBONE PARK RESORT 333 Park Plaza Dr. La Crosse, WI 608-782-5858 GREAT RIVER BLUFFS STATE PARK 43605 Kipp Drive Winona, MN 507-643-6849 BEAVER CREEK VALLEY 15954 County 1 Caledonia, MN 507-724-2107 JOHN A. LATSCH PARK From Winona go approximately 12 miles northwest on U.S. Highway 61. (507-643-6849

performances Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus

La Crosse Community Theatre December 12-14 and 19-20, at 7:30 p.m. December 14, 20 and 21, at 2:00 p.m. Virginia is an eight-year-old girl wondering if Santa Claus is real, who writes a letter to the editor of the New York Sun in 1897. Based on real events, the play is narrated by the editor of the Sun and puts the wonder back into Christmas from the views of a child and adult, A Christmas Carol

Commonweal Theatre Lanesboro, Minn. through December 22, 7:30 p.m. No performances on Tuesdays or Wednesdays. The Commonweal’s imaginative take on this classic brings to life the characters, sights, and sounds of Scrooge’s world, and his ultimate choice to liberate himself from a terrible fate. Rediscover the spirit of the season, share the joys of kinship, and celebrate with us! Tickets are $25.

Viterbo University Fine Arts Center Main Theatre 608-796-3100 www.viterbo.edu Experience the true joy and beauty of Christmas with Viterbo University`s performance. Join us in this uplifting and reverent celebration of the season. NORSKEDALEN'S OLD FASHIONED CHRISTMAS

December 6 - 7

West Salem Elementary School 475 N. Mark St. West Salem, WI 3:30-6:00 p.m. FREE Celebrate the release of The Critter Kids, created by 734 West Salem elementary students and hip-hop artists from Minneapolis. Join us for live performances by Minneapolis artists, A-Scratch, (DJ) & Capaciti, (MC), purchase raffle tickets for holiday gifts, play games, buy our CD, socialize, and have refreshments. Profits from The Critter Kids will be used to benefit the West Salem School District's Outdoor Education Center. For more information, please contact: cnichols@wsalem.k12.wi.us ADRIAN LEGG CONCERT

December 13

Norskedalen Heritage & Nature Center, Coon Valley, Wis. 608-452-3424 www.norskedalen.org Come experience the holiday season with some of your favorite foods, holiday entertainment, bake sale, decorated pioneer homestead, raffle, cake walk, gift shops, wagon rides and more!

Pump House, La Crosse 608-785-1434 www.thepumphouse.org Legg incorporates virtually every genre on his guitar in a virtuosic instrumental style with effects. $15 for members, $18 for non-members.

THE END OF AMERICA DOCUMENTARY

December 13

December 8 Cartwright Center, UWL 1725 State Street Campus organization Students for Liberty will be screening a documentary based on the book The End of America by world famous author Naomi Wolf. Admission is free and there will be popcorn provided. PUMP HOUSE READING SERIES

December 9 Pump House, La Crosse 608-785-1434 www.thepumphouse.org Featuring Benjamin Percy, award winning novelist. Author of Refresh, Refresh and The Language of Elk. HOLIDAY TRAIN

December 11 Amtrak Station, La Crosse 608-782-2366 www.cpr.ca 3:15 pm. Come to see the awesome Canadian Pacific Railroad decorated train! See the boxcar show! Please bring a non-perishable food item to be donated to a local food pantry.

MYRICK HIXON ECOPARK'S BIRD SEED SALE 2702 Quarry Road, La Crosse 608-784-0303 www.mhecopark.org 9:00 a.m. - 4 p.m. Watch for the BIRDS along Hwy 16! Bird seed, unique feeders, feeding accessories, and shirts. LA CROSSE SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA — HAPPY HOLIDAYS

December 19 - 20 Viterbo University Fine Arts Center www.lacrossesymphony.org 608-783-2121 7:30 p.m. $35/$19 WINE GUYZ CHAMPAGNE & CHOCOLATE EXTRAVAGANZA!

December 20 Wine Guyz 122 King Street, La Crosse 608-782-9463 www.wineguyz.com Noon-4:00 p.m. $10 gets you samples of 6-8 champagnes paired with great gourmet chocolates- and don't forget our decadent chocolate fountain!

Trying to get the word out about your event? It's simple! Second Supper vol. 8, issue 142

Email copyeditor@secondsupper.com and receive a free listing.

18


Classic Crime, cont. from p. 14 SS: Your first album [Albatross] is credited as the highest-selling debut in Tooth & Nail history. Is there any specific thing you would credit that to? MM: We have to credit it to a good start, as far as the label supporting us and getting on some good tours from the get-go.We got on the Tooth & Nail tour the month our album came out. That was with Emery and Anberlin; there were at least a thousand kids a night seeing us for the first time. That played a key part. SS: Right now, you’re headlining the Atticus Tour. How did that come about? MM: We met Mark from Atticus on the past year’s Warped Tour. He watched our band and listened to our music and thought we were a good fit for Atticus Clothing. They haven’t really been in the U.S. for the past few years; they’ve been based out London. What they’re trying to do is relaunch the line in the U.S. Historically, Atticus has always been involved in music. They used to put out compilation CDs. I remember listening to those and buying them in high school. I think they want to establish themselves as a music-related brand and put a tour together with music they wanted to associate with. For some reason they thought that ours was something they wanted to associate with. We didn’t argue! SS: Atticus is a unique company in this situation, but touring is always sponsored by someone, often companies unrelated to music. Could you see yourself joining ranks with a large corporate sponsor, like Budweiser? MM: Yeah, if it gets our music out to more people, then I’m not opposed to any kind of sponsorship. Bands are dying left and right because of lack

Future Sons by Noah Singer

of funds. I think any time somebody gets behind them and puts money into them, it’s a good thing. SS: Have you noticed any conflict between sponsors and bands? MM: No. I don’t think kids read into it, that the whole punk rock, anticorporate vibe is a popular one right now. Kids also understand that, as their relationship with their favorite bands gets tighter, that these are just people in a van. They get excited when the band gets sponsored; it helps it out. If you’re a fan of a band, you want them to do well. SS: Do you have any outside pursuits beyond the band? MM: We’re associated with organizations that are doing good things around the world.We sponsor a child in India. We’re working with an organization called Made by Survivors, where the kids makes things that we sell on the road, and the money goes back to them so they can go to school. It’s hard to do much because of our own financial obligations, but we think that we’re put in this position for a reason, and we need to do some good. Eventually, we want to do a lot more. SS: Is there an imprint you want to leave on music? MM: I hope our music changes lives, helps people get through difficult times and ask questions about purpose and meaning. When we get a fan coming up to us after a show and saying that a song meant the world to them, that’s what it’s all about. If we can get more people like that, then we’ve been paid in the kind of way we’d like to be paid. The Silver Cord is out now.

The Classic Crime Concert Review It’s a sure sign of my age, but I remember Warehouse shows beginning at 7 p.m., not being halfway over. When I showed up this Tuesday at 7, I was disappointed to find out that the first side of the Atticus Tour had gone on without me. I spent the next few sets in the TV room and had a lengthy conversation with members of These Green Eyes, who I wanted to see but who had just finished their set before my arrival. The corners of my eyes caught A Change of Pace’s lit-up onslaught on the screen during the conversation, but the only set I would see in full was The Classic Crime’s. It wasn’t a disappointment. Up the stairs, a sea of cheery teenagers greeted me, making me feel only slightly less creepy and out of place than when I took a friend to Chuck E. Cheese for his 19th birthday.When The Classic Crime took the stage, the kids clapped and roared with polite enthusiasm. Coming from years on both sides of the stage, watching audiences stare clubbed-dog blank at the bands pouring their guts out to entertain, the excitement of this crowd unnerved me a bit. As it sang along, clapped, and jumped, I wondered whether this difference between these kids and I was in age, generation, or genre. Then again, it all might have just been in the band. The Classic Crime began the set with a soft quicksand swirl of guitars, which plummeted into a flamenco crush. From the start, singer Matt MacDonald grabbed the audience and molded them into his mob. The charisma he threw into the crowd was backed up by the rest of the band, who strutted and stomped through songs like “Abracadavers,” driving the crowd into fists and swivels. Between songs, MacDonald drove up audience participation by calling for group hugs and simultaneous leaps, creating almost sermonlike moments.The best of these moments came before the band launched into a foot shaking powerhouse, when MacDonald spoke: “When rock and roll doesn’t pay the bills, lose the bills.” At the final song, a swarm of dudes jumped the stage and sang in unison as the set plummeted into furious screams for encore. The Classic Crime quickly returned and played a forceful finale. I almost didn’t see the bass player throw his guitar around his shoulder and back in the classic spin. The move brought the show to an eye-opening end. The kids dispersed, satisfied that The Classic Crime had delivered. — Brett Emerson

19

December 4, 2008


COMMUNITY SERVICE [ Area food & drink specials ] LA CROSSE All Star Lanes 4735 4735 Mormon Mormon Coulee Coulee

Sunday

Monday

33 games games for for $5 $5 starts at 8 starts at 8 p.m. p.m.

33 games games for for $5 $5 starts at 8 starts at 8 p.m. p.m.

Alpine AlumniInn

$7 four cans special 8 bucket p.m. - close beer pong

Alumni House Animal 620 Gillette st.

Beer Pong $7.00 4 Cans 8-close $1.00 Domestic Silos

W5715 Bliss st. rd. 620 Gillette

110 3rd st.

Barrel Inn Beef & ave. Etc. 2005 West

1203 La Crosse st.

Beef & Etc. Barrel Innst. 1203 La Crosse 2005 West ave.

Big Al’s Brothers 115 S 3rd st. 306 Pearl st.

Brothers Bruisers 306 Pearl st. 620 Cass st.

$2.50 Jack Daniel Mixers $2.00 Goldschlager

2 for 1 cans &

Italian beef w/dog bottles meal: $6.69during Packer games Pizza Puff meal: $4.49

2.25 for mini pitcher

free pitcher of beer or soda with large closed pizza

CheapShots Chuck’s 318 Pearl st. 1101 La Crosse st.

Chuck’s Joe’s Coconut 1101Pearl La Crosse st. 223 st.

16oz top sirloin $7 22oz tbone 9.75 sutffed sirloin 8 jack daniels tipsTaps 8 $1 shots of $1 Domestic Doctor, cherry doctor - 8-cl $2 Craft Import Taps Happy $1.75 cans, $2 $2.50 hour Vodka4-6Mixers mix drinks

$1 Shot Menu

1/4 barrel meatball sandwich giveaway meal: $6.69 8-11 $1 burgers 2 Chicago dogs meal:

during Monday night football

meat or marinara spaghetti: $3.45 $2.50 Italian sausage: $4.95 Blatz vs. Old Style pitchers

$1 off apps closed Happy Hour All Day 20 wings and 5 miller lites for $15

Kids Eat$2.50 Free With Blatz vs. Old Style Adult pitchers $3.00 Long Islands Martini Ladies' Night Martini Madness James Martini: vodka, triple $2 off all martinis

114 5th ave.

417 Jay st.

Bud Night 6 - CL: $1.75 bottles $5 pitchers

$5.89 meatball sandwich Burgers 2 for 1 bottles and cans meal:Buck $6.15 1/4 Barrel during the game 2 dogs meal:giveaway $ 5.25

The The Cavalier Cavalier 114 5th ave. CheapShots Chances R 318 Pearl st.

5-8 p.m. 16oz Sirloin $7, Blue Cheese Stuffed Sirloin $8, Jack Daniels Tips $8, 22oz T Bone $9.75, $1 shots doc and cherry doc 8 p.m. - close

sec, orange juice

712- CL - 7: $1 domestic 12 oz 2-4-1 rails $2 Stoli mixers

$2.50 beers 7 - CL

$3.00 Domestic Pitchers, $1 domestic 12 oz $2.00 Shots of Cuervo, $2 StoliGoldschlager mixers Rumpleminz,

closed $3 Pitchers 1.75 Rails

Tuesday Wednesday Thursday 33 games games for for $5 $5 starts at 7 starts at 7 p.m. p.m.

Import Import night night starts starts at at 77 p.m. p.m.

Cosmic Cosmic Bowl Bowl & & Karaoke starts Karaoke starts at at 99 p.m. p.m.

Cosmic Cosmic Bowl Bowl starts starts at at 99 p.m. p.m.

11 a.m. - 9 p.m. hard or soft shell tacos $1

5-8 p.m. BBQ coun6 - CL try style ribs $5, $2.50 Sparks euchre tourney 7:30

11 a.m. - 9 p.m. AUCE Wings $5, Bingo $2 Silos BOGO $1 cherry bombs

5-83-7 p.m. fishhappy dinnerhour $5.25

2-8 p.m. AUCE wings $5

$1 softshell tacos Happy Hour 4 p.m. - 9 p.m. M-FAUCE wings $5.00 $5 bbq ribs and free crazy bingo $1 Domestic Silos fries buySee one $2.50 Premium Silos ourcherry Ad for allbomb of $2.50 Three Olive Mixers the for great$1 deals get one

$2.50 Select imports/craft $1 shots of doctor, Beers cherry doctor $2.50 Top shelf Mixers $2 Mich Golden bottles

$2. Goldschlager

3 p.m. - midnight

grilled$6.00 chicken sandwich meal: $5.29 AUCD

Italian beefnight meal: bucket $6.69 6 for $9 Chicago chili dog: $3.89 beef meal: Italian $6.15 Bucket Night beers Chicago chili6dog: $3.45 for $9

hamburger or 25 cent hot wings cheeseburger meal: $3.89 $1 shots of Dr. Italian Beef w/dog hamburger meal: $7.89meal: $3.69 cheeseburger meal: 25 cent wings Dollar $3.89 shots of Doctor

Polish sausage meal: $4.49 chicken sandgrilled wich meal: $5.29 Polish AUCDsausage Taps andmeal: Rails $3.99 8-1 $6

soup or salad bar $1.25 make your own $2.25 burgers, $2.60 FREE with entree or 3 - 8cheeseburgers, p.m. 1/2 off anything that pours tacos, $4.75 taco salad $2 off $1.50 U-Call-Its $2 10 cent wings - CL) sandwich untilBuster 3 p.m. $2.25 margaritas, large pizza, $1(9fries $3.50 Price $1.25 High Life bottles Football ($3.95 by itself) offFantasy large taco pizzaStat with any pizza Wristband & Wristband $1.50 rail mixers

party!

night

HAPPY HOUR 3 PM - 8 PM

Thirsty - $1 Mexi-Night Tuesday Soft Shell Tacos $2.50 Margaritas

10 cent wings (9 - CL) $12-4-1 High Life bottles Burgers $1.50 rail Pitchers mixers Kul Light $5 $2 Guinness pints

Wristband Rib Nite Night Beer Pong @10 p.m.

Wii Night

$1 Dr. 6- shots 8 $3 $1.50 Jager Bombs taps

6closed - 8 p.m. $1.50 rails/domestics

7 - midnight 7 - CL 7- CL: 3- CL: Ladies: 2 for 1 Tequila’s chips & salsa, Margarita Monday 2 Beers, 1 topping pizza Guys: $1.50 Coors $2 Coronas, $2.50 $2.50 $11 and Kul Light bottles Mike’s, Mike-arita (rocks only)

$1.25 beers & rails

$.50 Ladies: domestic2taps, for$11 microbrews, $3 domestic Guys: $1.50 Coors pitchers, $6 microbrew and Kul Light bottles pitchers

$2 Malibu $2.00 Cruzan madness Rum Mixers, $2.50$2 Jameson Shots, $3.00 pineapple Mixers

$1 rail mixers $3.00 Patron Shots $2 Bacardi mixers

FiestaHollow Mexicana Fox 5200 Mormon Coulee

chicken & veggie fajitasown Build your for Mary two Bloody 16oz Mug - $4.00

football night domestic beer:Pizza $1.50 Homemade Mexican beer: $2.00 & PItcher of Beer

HAPPY HOURshrimp EVERYDAY 3 - 6 chili chicken burrito verde primavera $1.25 Bucket of Domestic 25 Cent Wings BURGERS Cans 5 for $9.00

Build your own Bloody Mary 16oz Mug - $4.00

Homemade Pizza & PItcher of Beer $9.00 $5.99 $5.99 gyro gyro fries fries & & soda soda

1908 Campbell rd.

Huck Finn’s Howie's

127 dr. st. 1128Marina La Crosse

9-clNBC Mary night. (Night Bloody Before Class) $3 pitchspecials ers of the beast - 2 4-9 p.m. Happy10 Hour

Football Sunday $1.75 domestic JB’s Speakeasy 11-7 happy hour, free The Helm bottles 717 Rose st. food, $1.50 bloody, 1/2

108 3rd st price pitchers DTB Second Supper vol. 8, issue 142

$1 Bazooka Joes

$3.00 Captain mixers/ mojitos Fish Fry $2 Cherry Bombs $1 Bazooka Joes

$1 Bazooka Joes

$3.00 Bacardi mixers/ mojitos $3 bloodys $2 Cherry Bombs $1 Bazooka 'til Joes noon

50 cent taps 4 - 7 (increases 50 cents per Great drinks! hour) $1 rails

10 - CL: $1.50 rails Hour 12 - 7

$2.00 Captain Mixers

Great drinks!

50

Happy Hour 12 - 7 cents off most items

$2.00 Malibu, $2.50 Jaeger, $3.00 Jaeger Bombs

upsidedown cake

chicken Topless primavera Tuesday

Gracie’s Gracie’s 1908 Campbell rd.

$1.50 $6.75 bloody marys $3 Three Olivesdinner mixers/ mojitos $3 Bacardi mixers/ mojitos shrimp 11 a.m. - 4 p.m $2 Cherry bombs $2 Cherry bombs

WING NIGHT-$1.25/LB $2 Tuesdays, including Wristband All day Everyday: $1 Doctor $2 Silos. M-F: Happy HourBBQ, 2-6PLAIN $.50 off everything but the daily special$2.50 JUMBO CAPTAIN AND BUFFALO, SMOKEY buy one get one Domestic $2 bottles, import taps, $1.00 PABST AND PABST LIGHT Night After Class $3 beerMIXERS ('til 6 p.m.) Ladies' Nite out 1.50 Raill $.50 pong, taps Domestic 3.00 BOTTLES$1.50 ROLLING ROCK RING TOSS NIGHT beer apps, single FLAVORED BACARDI Guys'closed Nite out 1.50 silos $5 COLLEGE I.D. Pitchers $1.75 Rails Holmen Meat Locker Jerky BOTTLES mixers/ $2.50 X bombs pitchers shot mixers, featured 3 Rings for $1 $2.25 BUD LIGHTS $1.00 SHOT $3.00 JAGER BOMBS Raffle $9 general public shots, and 50 cent taps OF THENIGHT-$1.25/LB WEEK WING $2 Tuesdays, including BUFFALO, SMOKEY BBQ, PLAIN Happy Hour 7 - 9. $2 for all single shot mixers and all beers. $1 Ladies Night $2 bottles, import taps, $1.00 PABST AND PABST LIGHT Topless Karaoke live DJ Wristband Night buy one, get one free $2.50 JUMBO CAPTAIN AND Karaoke FLAVORED Kul Light BOTTLES$1.50 ROLLING ROCK closed beer pong, apps, single Tuesday $1 shot specials $1 shot specials BOTTLES $5 COLLEGE I.D. BACARDI MIXERS wear a bikini, drink free shot mixers, featured cans $2.25 BUD LIGHTS $1.00 SHOT $9 general public $3.00 JAGER BOMBS shots, and 50 cent taps OF THE WEEK

football $1 night domestic Kul beer: Light $1.50 Mexicancans beer: $2.00

N3287 County rd. OA 1904 Campbell

$4.50

beers & rails 7 -$1.00 midnight 7 - midnight 7 - CL All day, everyday: Shots of Doctor, $2.00 Cherry Bombs, $1.75 Silos of Busch Light/Coors 7 - midnight Happy

Tequila’s chips & salsa, Mexican Monday $2.00 Corona, $2 Coronas, $2.50 Corona Light, Cuervo Mike’s, Mike-arita

$2.50 X-Rated Mixers $2 Captain Mixers $2 Premium Grain Belt $2 Snake Bites

pepper & egg sandwich Italian beef meal: domestic pitchers $6.69 meal: $5.00 barrel parties2 Chicago at cost dog meal: Italian sausage meal: pepper & egg sandwich $5.89 $6.69 Italian beef meal: meal: $4.50, fish $6.15 sandwich meal: $4.99, 2 Chicago dog meal: $4.50 domestic pitchers Pitcher and Pizza $10 Italian sausage meal: $3.45 $6.15

7 - midnight 7- CL: $2 Malibu madness Guys' Night $2 pineapple $1.25 upsidedown cake

7 - midnight 7- CL: $1 rail mixers Ladies' Night $2 Bacardi mixers

chicken$4 & veggie full fajitas pint Irish for Bomb two Car

Fox Hollow Goal Post

Dad's Beer"

for 1 $5 All 2Mojitos taps

Fiesta Dan’s Mexicana Place

N3287 County OA

batterfried cod, fries, $2.50 Bomb Shots beans, and garlic bread $2.50 Ketel One Mixers $5.50 $2 Retro Beers "Your

HAPPY HOUR 4 - 7

$4 full pint Irish closed Car Bomb

5200 Mormon Coulee 411 3rd st.

Saturday

Buck Buck Night Night starts starts at at 66 p.m. p.m.

Coconut Joe’s Dan’s Place 223 3rd Pearlst.st. 411

Friday

$9.00

9-cl$3.50 Domestic pitchers $1.75 domestic bottles

shrimp Ladies Night buy one, get one free burrito wear a bikini, drink free

chili Karaoke verde $1 shot specials

Asklive server DJ for details $1 shot specials Ask server for details

HAPPY HOUR EVERYDAY 3 - 6

HAPPY HOUR 6 AM - 9 AM

$1.25 beer pong 6 p.m. $8.95 16 oz steak BURGERS

free wings 6 p.m. - 9 p.m.

Bucket of Domestic Cans 5 for $9.00

25 CentHOUR Wings HAPPY

Buy Buy one one gyro gyro get get one one half half price price

free free baklava, baklava, ice ice cream cream or or sundae sundae with with meal meal

$1.25 $1.25 domestic domestic taps taps buy buy one one burger burger get get one one half half price price

HAPPY HOUR 9-cl- $1 rails, $2.50 pitchers, Beer Pong All day (everyday!) $1.75 domesticspecials $1.25 Old Style Light bottles $1.50 LAX Lager/Light $1 shots of Dr.

$5 AUCD

HAPPY HOUR 3 - 8 $8.95 16 oz. steak $8.95 1/2 lb. fish platter

5 p.m. - 10 p.m.

EVERYDAY 3 -7 9-cl and$1.25 9 - 11 rails, $1.75 bottles/cans

Karaoke

GREEK GREEK ALL ALL DAY DAY buy buy one one appetizer appetizer appetizer half price appetizer half price get one half price get one half price with meal with meal 9-cl -$2 captain mixers, $2 bottles/cans, $3 jager bombs

9-cl $2 bacardi mixers, $2 domestic pints, $1.50 shots blackberry brandy

HAPPY HOUR2-CL 5-7 Thirsty Thursday 3 12 oz. dom. taps $2 $1 vodka drinks $1 12 oz taps

20


Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday & drink specials ] COMMUNITY SERVICE [ Area food

LA CROSSE Jai's Bar 168 Rose st.

JB’s Speakeasy 717 Rose st.

The Joint 324 Jay st.

Legend’s

Happy Hour 11 a.m. - 7 p.m. everyday. $1.50 rails & domestics

$3 bloodys $1 priced-to-move bottles

$1.75 domestic bottles

$1.75 domestic bottles

1/2 off Pearl Street pitchers during Packer game

4 - 8 p.m. Bacardi $3 doubles/pints

closed

223 Pearl st.

The Library 123 3rd st.

$2 Guinness all day

come in and find out ... you’ll be glad you did

closed closed

Nutbush

Ladies' night 7-CL buy one, get one rails and dom. bottles

$1.75 domestic bottles

$2 Boddington's English Pub Ale ALL DAY

50 cents off all drinks 7-CL

$1.00 off all Irish shots $2.50 pints of Guinness $3.00 imperial pints

every day $1 shots of Doc

$1 taps $1 rails 1/2 price Tequila

All your fav drinks at low prices

HAPPY HOUR 5 - 7

4 - 8 p.m. domestic bottles/rails $1.75

closed

$2 Irish Car Bombs (go out the Irish way) 7-CL

4 - 8 p.m. domestic bottles/rails $1.75

WING NIGHT $2 SVEDKA MIXERS $2.50 JACK MIXERS $2.25 BUD LIGHTS $2 SHOTS OF ALL DOCTOR FLAVORS

AFTER COMEDY: PINT NIGHT $1 PINTS OF RAILS MIXERS AND DOMESTIC TAPS $2 PINTS OF CALL MIXERS AND IMPORT TAPS $3 PINTS OF TOP SHELF MIXERS

KARAOKE $2 double rails, $3 double calls, $2 ALL bottles

Wristband Night and Beer Pong Tourney

5 - 7 p.m. 2-4-1 happy hour

great drinks!

$2 SHOTS OF GOLDSCHLAGER $5 DOUBLE VODKA ENERGY DRINK $3 Bacardi mixers $3 jumbo Long Islands

$3 Three Olives mixers $3 jumbo Long Islands

HAPPY HOUR 3 - 6

3264 George st.

Players

Price by Dice

214 Main St

Ralph's

In John's Bar 109 3rd st. N

Ringside 223 Pearl st.

Schmidty’s

Chef specials daily Mighty Meatball sub $6 open 11 - 6 $2 Screwdrivers and $2 Domestic Bottles w/NFL Sun. Ticket

3119 State rd.

breakfast buffet $9.95 10 a.m. - 2 p.m.

Shooter’s

$1 Shot Night

120 S 3rd st.

Sports Nut 801 Rose st.

Tailgators 1019 S 10th st.

Top Shots 137 S 4th st.

Yesterdays 317 Pearl st.

LA CRESCENT

Crescent Inn 444 Chestnut st.

WINONA Brothers 129 W 3rd st.

Godfather’s 30 Walnut st. 21

2 for 1 Happy Hour ALL NIGHT LONG

happy hour all day

open 4-9

Karaoke @ 10 p.m. 2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 - 10 AUCD Rail mixers @ 10 p.m.

Karaoke @ 10 p.m. 2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 - 10 $1 Pabst cans, Dr. shots @ 10 p.m.

chicken parmesan sub $6

Italian sandwich w/banana peppers and parmesan &6

open 4-9

double $6.50

2-4-1 Happy Hour 3 - 9 Best Damned DJ'S @ 10 p.m.

2-4-1 Happy Hour 3 - 8 Best Damned DJ'S @ 10 p.m.

Chicken salad on rye w/ lettuce, tomato, onion $5 $6.99 FISH SANDWICH FOR LUNCH, $7.99 FISH SANDWICH FOR DINNER, $9.99 ALL YOU CAN EAT FISH FRY ALL DAY

happy hour all day long! $1.00 OFF WILD WINGS, $1.00 PHILLY STEAK AND CHEESE.

LUNCH BUFFET $6.45 LUNCH SPECIALS CHANGE DAILY Ask Nicely See What Happens

Tie Tuesday Great Prices For Sharp Dressers

Buck Burgers

Tacos $1.25

$4 domestic pitchers

$1 Rails, $1.50 Pint Taps, $3 Long Island Pints 15 cent wings

$2.50 Bacardi Mixers, $3 Long Island Pints 12 oz. T-Bone $8.99

HAPPY HOUR 10 AM - 12, 4 PM - 6 PM $2 Bacardi mixers

$2 Spotted Cow & DT Brown pints

$1.50 Bud/Miller Lite/ PBR taps all day $1.75 rails 10 - 1

$2 domestic bottles 7 - 12, $2.50 Skyy/ Absolute mixers 10-1 $2 Dr. drinks

$1 Point special bottles

$2.50 pints Bass & Guinness

$1.75 domestic bottles

$2.25 Pearl st. pints $1.50 PBR bottles

Sunday

Monday

Tuesday Wednesday

$2 Rolling Rocks $2 domestic beer

8 - CL $1.50 rails $1.75 Bud cans

$1 shots of Dr. $2.50 Polish

Sunday

Monday

Tuesday Wednesday

closed

Southwest chicken pita $5

HAPPY HOUR 4 PM - 7 PM cheeseburger HOOP DAY!! MAKE YOUR SHOT AND YOUR ENTRÉE IS FREE!

$1.75 light taps and Dr. shots

Fiesta Night 7 - 12 $2 tequila shots $2.50 margaritas

2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 - 10 $2 Capt. mixers $1.75 domestic beer, $1.50 Rails, $1 Pabst cans @ 10 p.m.

$1 domestic taps $3 Jager Bombs

Bucket Night 5 for $9 5 domestic bottles for $10, $2 Bacardi mixers, $1.50 rail vodka mixers 10 -1

2 for 1 anything 9 p.m. - close Fantasy Football stat party!

family buffet 5 -8 kids under 10 pay .45 cents per year of age

any jumbo, large, or large 1 topping pizza medium pizza up to 5 $9.99 toppings: $11.99 (get 2nd large for $5)

10 cent wings, $3 filled mug ($1 tap refills, $2 rail refills) $1 High Life bottles/kamikaze shots

$1 Dr. shots $3 16 oz Captain mixers

$2 Long Islands, PBR bottles, Captain mixers

15 cent wings

$1 Dr. shots $3 16 oz Captain mixers

$2.75 deluxe Bloodys ‘til 7, $5 lite pitchers 7 - 12

$1.75 rails $1 PBR mugs

Thursday

Friday

Thursday $1 O-Bombs/ Bazooka Joes, Wristband Night

Saturday $2.50 Captain $2.50 Jager Bombs & Polish

$2 u-call-it (except top shelf)

3 - 8pm 1.00 off anything that Pours

$1 martinis $2 mojitos $3 margaritas & Michelob Golden pitchers

Fish Fry $6.95

$2.50 Bacardi Mixers, $3 Long Island Pints

Friday

Saturday

$2.50 Three Olives Vodkas $2 Cherry & Jäger Bombs

$2.50 Bacardi Drinks $2 Cherry & Jäger Bombs

December 4, 2008


Ã

Entertainment Directory 12/4 - 12/10

Thursday, December 4

Just A Roadie Away...

December 6, continued

Kreekside Adam Palm

7:00

Timbers Michelle Lynn

Bluffland All ages Open Mic

8:00

Players Live DJ

10:00

Ringside Comedy Night

8:00

Popcorn Tavern TBA

10:00

9:00

JB's Speakeasy Moon Boot Posse

10:00

9:00

Coconut Joe's Live DJ

10:00

Legend's Live DJ

10:00

Dan’s Place Live DJ

The Recovery Room Live DJ Players '80s Night w/ Shuggypop Jackson

10:00

Popcorn Tavern LAX All-stars

10:00

8:00 - 10:00

Sunday, December 7 Popcorn Tavern Eric and Al

Nutbush Live DJ

10:00

Nighthawks Dave Orr's open jam

10:00

Coconut Joe's Live DJ

10:00

George St. Pub Adam Palm’s Open Jam

Howie's The Mighty Short Bus

10:00

Popcorn Tavern Shawn's open jam

Monday, December 8

10:00

Nutbush Live DJ

10:00

10:00

Popcorn Tavern Paulie

10:00

10:00

Alumni Brownie's Open Jam

10:00

Popcorn Tavern Soapbox Project

10:00

JB's Speakeasy Madahoochi w/Moon Boot Posse 10:00

Coconut Joe's Live DJ

10:00

Wednesday, December 10

Legend's Live DJ

10:00

Howie’s Comedy Night

8:30

10:00

Library Karaoke

9:00

10:00

Nighthawks Irene Keenan Jr.

9:00

The Joint Moon Boot Posse & Elf Lettuce JB's Speakeasy Javelinas Saturday, December 6

Coconut’s Live DJ

10:00

Players Karaoke

10:00

The Warehouse Seneca, Kevin Koutnik, Amelia Popcorn Tavern Lidstrom, Benjamin Krause 6:00 Second Supper vol. 8, issue 142 Dave's open jam

387,970

Amanda Palmer The Builders and the Butchers Zoe Keating First Avenue

Fri., 12/5

What's That? (a Radiohead Project)

Terminal Bar

Fri., 12/5

Lucero

Triple Rock Social Club

Fri., 12/5

God Johnson

The Downtime

Sat., 12/6

Root City

Minnesota Music Cafe

Sat., 12/6

Trans-Siberian Orchestra Xcel Energy Center

Sun., 12/7

Totally 80’s Party SPONSERED BY:

The Warehouse Stars After the Storm, Inept, Rosalin

Howie's Sellout

population

9:00

Tuesday, December 9

Players Live DJ

Minneapolis

10:00

Friday, December 5

6:00

Ã

10:00

THURSDAYs DJ'S SPINNING 80’S MUSIC New Wave, Punk, Hip Hop, Electro Funk

Awards for Best 80's Outfits

Drink Specials 21+ No Cover @ Players

22


GAY, cont. from page 10 federal government passed the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). This public law says that states need not recognize a same-sex marriage in their state, even if the marriage is legal in another state.Two years after DOMA — the same year that Will & Grace debuted — Alaska would become one of the first states to update their constitutional wording. Today, many have suggested that an appropriate attack to proposition 8 would be a repeal of DOMA. Will & Grace perhaps sparked the powder keg in gay marriage with their final episode — Will and his boyfriend Vince would end up raising a child. The real battle against homosexual couples raising children has been long fought by the Defense of Marriage camp which, according to DefendMarriage. org, is “one of the biggest threats to legalizing same-sex ‘marriage’…It would make it more difficult to prevent same-sex couples from adopting children.” The vehemence with which advocates of marriage defend the institution leads me — a married man — to believe that I’m missing out on something. The beautiful ceremony at Lake Wazee that formalized my eternal commitment to my partner was a delightful façade to a benign process of filling out county forms. I never thought twice about those forms either before or after their existence; were they to dissolve tomorrow, nei-

BLACK, cont. from page 11

ther my child would receive any less care, nor would my wife feel any less loved. I held fast to the “institution” of marriage because I felt my government was appropriately apathetic — my wife could be an eggplant, provided she had a name and appropriate documentation. Such is no longer the case — now my “sacred union” is fodder for a political machine that I cannot agree with. Referendum #1 makes me want to get "divorced," so that I can enjoy the purely loved-based union with which so many homosexuals seem to be blessed. At 10 o’clock our nightly routine is to watch Will & Grace. On one particular night, we watch as Grace’s southern boyfriend makes breakfast in Will’s apartment. The boyfriend refers to his vegetarian omelettes as “phoney baloney,” drawing disgusted groans from Will. “I thought you gay guys liked baloney,” the boyfriend remarks snidely. “If by ‘baloney’ you mean ‘same rights and privileges as any other married couple’ then, yes,” Will fires back. For those who believe that marriage is an inflexible institution, Keith Olbermann offers a stirring rebuttal. “If this country hadn't re-defined marriage, black people still couldn't marry white people,” Olbermann says, “Sixteen states had laws on the books which made that illegal in 1967.” The only reason those states no longer had those laws was due to the Civil Right Act, which ruled all lesser laws against interracial marriage unconstitutional. Wisconsin was never one of those states.

be Mr. T just as often as we'd pretend to be Luke Skywalker. Our role models weren't limited to whites only. Bill Cosby broke the floodgates open for white sensibilities with The Cosby Show and its spinoff A Different World, and shortly after that came the obscene juggernaut that is Oprah. In the late '80s, Arsenio Hall's late night talk show and In Living Color started upping more of an "urban blackness" on television, combating white washing and Uncle Tom behaviors that lingered about blacks portrayed on television. Around this time, a disturbing trend (in my humble opinion) of lip service paying tokenism was popping up everywhere, where political correctness brought in a black character, just for the sake of having a black character, even if they really didn't do much for the overall plot. This was seemingly brought about as a result of far too many white Americans becoming so smug in their attempts to portray themselves as openminded, tolerant and not racist. White liberal guilt in all its glory manifested on television. Another disturbing trend is the poor quality programs that started appearing with black characters that seemed to exist solely to cash in on the marketability of shows with blacks in them. Martin Lawrence and many of the shows on the UPN and WB were throwing back to the days of clownish buffoonery, which can be found in recent Ice Cube and Wayans Brothers movies as well, to name a few. Also, the big three major networks seem to have lost an interest in programs with blacks as the top stars,

as the majority of such programs appear on the newer stations, of which few people who aren't black ever seem to watch. On modern television, you can see a black president on 24, full-on urban realism on The Wire, the disgraceful behaviors and vapid materialism on shows like MTV Cribs and the like that are fostering modern clichéd stereotypes that Bill Cosby has publicly been at odds with, the sketch comedy of Chappelle's Show giving us some of the most catch phrased soundbites in modern television, and D.L. Hughley hosting a Daily Show ripoff program on CNN. Blacks are so infused in televised programming that I think rarely is a conscious thought given about the color of the skin of the entertainer to the average viewer, though it certainly plays a role behind the scenes in catering to advertisers and gaining a ratings edge. I'm not going to go and say that society is so advanced that people no longer see color, as I often overhear both whites and blacks making derogatory comments about one another, but the comfort level and familiarity for whites being exposed to blacks via television has gotten us as a society to a point where we have elected Barack Obama as our president despite the color of his skin, something that never could have happened without television. See, TV isn't all bad.

Downtown La crosse, above fayzes - 782-6622

Good People, Good Drinks, Good Times

Why don’t blind men skydive? Because it scares the shit out of the dog

$2.00 - 1 Player, $3.00 - 2 Players 50 cents Off Drinks, $1 Off Pitchers

$1.75 - Light Taps $1.75 DR. Shots

Saturday 23

$1.50 Bud/Miller Lite $2.00 Domestics 7-12pm & PBR Taps $2.50

$1.75

Skyy/Abs. Mixers 10-1AM

$2.00 Dr. Drinks

$2.75 Deluxe Bloody Marys ‘til 7:00 PM $5.00 Light Pitchers 7:00PM - Midnight December 4, 2008


La Crosseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Largest Sports Bar

Pick The Pros Every Sunday With Miller Lite @ Ringside $5.00 Miller Buckets, $2.25 Bottles and Taps, $6.00 Pitchers To Reserve Your Spot Call 608-782-9192

223 Pearl St - Downtown La Crosse - 608-782-9192

Saturday December 6th 10PM - Midnight

s l r i G e t i L r Mille

$2.50 16 oz Bottles $11 Buckets ays d s e u T $2

$.50 Taps

$2 Appetizer Menu

Second Supper vol. 8, issue 142

24

Second Supper Issue 142  

Television and Ourselves

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