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Second Supper vol. 8, issue 140
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Contributors Adam Bissen Erich Boldt Nicholas Cabreza Benjamin Clark Andrew Colston Brett Emerson El Jefe Emily Faeth
Shuggypop Jackson Sarah Morgan Maria Pint Radar Briana Rupel Kelly Sampson Rick Serdynski Noah Singer
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Gregg Scharf 608-397-8188 firstname.lastname@example.org 5,000 Second Suppers can be found weekly in over 300 locations in La Crosse, WI & Winona,MN
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Wisconsin goes big blue in 2008 page 8 Welcome to the Obama-nation page 9 Reflections of the election page 11 Dispatches from HQ!
Q & A with Winona author Andy Schoepp page 14
November 13, 2008
Second Supper’s finally on the social networking bandwagon, with a whole chain of townies to answer our deliciously revealing questions. Each week, the interviewee will name someone they're connected to, who will become the next person interviewed, and so it shall continue.You see? We really are all connected.
Coolest things about our Editor-in-Chief
Things Bush needs to do before leaving office
1 He's taller than you 2. He'll kill you in Trivial Pursuit 3. He's got a signed photo of Alex Trebek 4. He can freestyle (it's true!) 5. He knows the AP style rules 6. He's a cab driver who'll get you home safely 7. He sleeps in a tree fort
NAME: Kyle Douglas Westbrook, 24 BIRTHPLACE: Sioux Falls, SD CURRENT JOB: La Crosse Center stagehand, Warehouse sound man DREAM JOB: Owning a construction company that builds hobbit holes COVETED SUPERPOWER: Teleportation DREAM VACATION: Peru FAVORITE LOCAL RESTAURANT: Maid-Rite FAVORITE BAR IN TOWN: The cooler next to my fire pit 3 MOVIES YOU’D TAKE ON A DESERTED ISLAND: Grumpy Old Men, The Muppets Take Manhattan, Ernest Goes to Camp CITY OR COUNTRY? City
Second Supper vol. 8, issue 140
3 BOOKS YOU’D TAKE TO PRISON: Chinese Takeout by Arthur Nersesian, Slapstick by Kurt Vonnegut, any Calvin and Hobbes anthology
1. Take the foam off of all the sharp corners 2. Find WMDs 3. Find his stash 4. Have one more bitchin' New Year's Eve party 5. Change the sheets 6. Apologize 7. Introduce Adam Bissen to his daughters
Ways the Brewers are spending their off season 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
Smoking rather than chewing Riding Bernie's slide Running the bases...with the ladies Eating chorizo Listening to Norah Jones and crying 6. Getting the hell out of Milwaukee 7. Poundin' down a lot of PBR
TELL US A JOKE: A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch."
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IF YOU COULD PLAY ANY INSTRUMENT PERFECTLY, WHAT WOULD IT BE? The rain stick WHAT IS IN YOUR POCKETS RIGHT NOW? Keys, change, pen, Sharpie, wallet HOW DO YOU KNOW MATTHEW? I found him vomiting off the front porch at 208.
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Reminds you to support the retailers, restaurants, taverns and bands that support us. We are funded solely by advertising so if you want to support us, support them!
conscientious commerce, It's the only option you've got.
November 13, 2008
Sunday November 23rd
End of semester blues
501/Cricket Dart Tourny
cursing my cracked-out teacher the whole while, and got to chapter 8 without seeing anything from the study guide in the entire chapter. I was ready to call it quits because after all, if the chapters and study guide don’t match up, it’s not my fault. But I had already lit my candle and everything so I figured I’d give chapter 8 a try.
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W/Karaoke Second Supper vol. 8, issue 140
It has reached that point in the semester where my attention span has shrunk to that of a gnat. I can no longer go into the library and spend hours studying and reading textbooks that have no pictures or fun graphics of any sort. Not that I was ever really good at that, but now I just go into the library and watch TV shows on my iPod Video. Of course I can still sit on the couch and watch 12 hours of an America’s Next Top Model marathon on MTV, but that’s totally different from homework. Tyra is classified crazy but at least that keeps things interesting, which is more than any of my professors can say. I’ve done more clock-watching than note-taking this week to say the least. Basically, I’ve mentally checked out for the semester already. This past weekend I literally didn’t do a single piece of homework, and keep in mind that I don’t have class on Fridays, so that’s three straight days of doing nothing. In my own defense, I really tried to do some reading on Sunday night. The only problem I had was that I apparently suck at life. I have a test in Educational Psychology this week and it’s over three chapters in our textbook, none of which I have read. So at around 5 p.m. I sat down at my desk and took out my book (or what I thought was my book). I even lit an aromatherapy candle to get me into the studying mindset and took out my study guide. At that point, I thought my professor was on crack because I opened up my book to chapter 7 and tried to reference the study guide. It was really odd though because nothing was matching up: the chapter was supposed to be about some sort of cognitive processes and all I kept seeing in the actual book was about the Quakers coming to America. I thought it was totally weird. I paged all the way through chapter 7,
Chapter 8 was interesting because I had read it before…for a different class. That right there should have told me that I was looking at the wrong textbook, right? No, apparently I have not only the attention span of a gnat, but also the intelligence of one. I read a good five pages of chapter 8, thinking the whole time that it was awesome because I would remember it well since we had already talking about it in my other class. It hit me when I was reading about the early educational laws that the book was in no way, shape or form, a psychology textbook. My professor isn’t the one on crack, it’s me I guess. I was so aggravated that I slammed the book shut and threw it across the room. Thus ended my studying for the weekend. I gave it a shot at least, but it’s definitely a good thing there’s awesome TV on Sunday nights; Extreme Home Makeover built a house AND a coffee shop for this disabled guy from Egypt this week! All in seven days; they’re like god on ABC. It’s amazing though, now that I’m not doing my homework I have a lot of free time on my hands. Last week I volunteered at a soup kitchen one night for a few hours which totally validated my current slacker mentality. If I take the time I use for school work and put it towards bettering the community, I think I’ll go to heaven for sure. The totally free schedule I had this past weekend also gave me a perfect opportunity to catch up on some leisurely reading I’ve been putting off.This book that I’m reading,“Fermat’s Enigma,” is all about number theory and the history of the great mathematicians who influenced it. Sounds terribly interesting, doesn’t it? The really sad part about this is the fact that I’m taking a class about Number Theory right now and I refuse to do the homework in protest, yet I’m still reading this book for fun. If my classmates knew, they would totally call me a dork. That’s why I keep my reading habits hush-hush on campus; I have my reputation to think about after all. The end of the semester is getting dangerously close however, and I can smell Thanksgiving Break already. I’ve been backsliding into mediocrity for the past few weeks but mark my words, reader, I will make the last push to finals! After I finish this I’m going to grab the right textbook actually and read for my test this week! Then I’m going to grab my number theory book and actually do the assignments! And then I’m going to cure cancer! Alright, I’m probably not going to do any of that; I’m sure I’ll just Facebook for a while. Finals aren’t till December, right? Right…
The Queer Jim Crow flies high By Brett Emerson
email@example.com In the aftermath of last week’s elections, the world would have us believe that hope is about to wash over us all in a flood of goodwill and collective uplifting. Upon winning the presidential election, Barack Obama delivered a speech that celebrated the coming together of people from every background and political alignment, male or female, gay or straight, affirming the creed of the Founding Fathers that all are created equal. Obama concluded his oration with the phrase that has become synonymous with his campaign: “Yes, we can.” Millions cheered in response, affirming the president-elect’s worldchanging optimism. Not one day later, America told its gay population, “No, you can’t.” Sorry! Let me begin this rant by saying that I don’t agree with the monotheism of romance. Beyond the smokescreen of modern hedonism waits the unflinching expectations of old: find one person, get married, have kids. It doesn’t always work out in that order, and we now feel free to sleep around, get divorced, or parent on autopilot. Nonetheless, we are trained to look at childless, single, or polygamous adults beyond a certain age as people with gaping holes in their lives. At best, they are objects of pity. The acceptable programming was obviously cemented with the straights in mind. But the ongoing acceptance of gays and lesbians has led to an insidious queer conspiracy that seeks to — as far-fetched as it sounds — obtain the option to live the same lives as the rest of the humans.They want the freedom to get married and raise (discarded!) kids in homes no better or worse than nuclear families. It’s a nefarious plot straight out of a Tom Clancy novel, no? In the macho paranoiac’s mind, the gays are asking for inches and taking miles, moving beyond their assigned seating of drag shows, smoky discotheques, rest stops, and Hollywood.These neurotics stage a bizarre contradiction — that true and full acceptance of homosexuality will result in the embodiment of the old Lewis Black joke, in which packs of gays travel door to door, breaking into family meals and fucking each other on the dinner table, ruining American families one by one. So on this Election Day, righteous, changevoting America rose up and destroyed the possibility of gay marriage for the immediate future. Proposition 8 passed in California and trumped the state court’s ruling in favor of gay marriage. In an election that gave us our first black president, let us note the FUCKING ABSURDITY that Prop. 8 succeeded largely on the backs of minority voters. In Arkansas a measure passed which bans unmarried couples from adopting children. It’s a bad enough result in regards to enforcing straight marriage, but at least straights in Arkansas can get married (fight the inbreeding joke, fight the inbreeding joke). Like the blasé sadism displayed in the wording of the gay marriage bans, this measure was a transparent attack. And everything worked out in oppression’s favor — unless you’re of the viewpoint that a concept like Civil Unions is anything
other than one of toothless subservience. Ask any teenage princess-in-training if she has ever dreamed of her Civil Union Day and you’ll be able to grasp the glaring inequality between terms. So much of what I read in defense of the new segregation cited the psychological wellbeing of children as the prime impetus behind denying gays equality. Once again, the road to Hell is being paved by parents. The arguments call for gays to be kept completely out of public schools, where knowledge of their eldritch ways will turn every Kindergarten into the E! Network, every school library into a gay magazine stand. There’s a sickening appropriateness to people who in one breath push for prayer in school and push against acknowledging the existence of gays to schoolchildren in the next. I don’t think my public school experience was unusual, and I don’t remember the Faggot Red Scare hitting my class until middle school. It may be a blow to the egos of many sex-fixated adults, but grade schoolers could often care less about our sexual politics. Children are savage little shits, fueled with the hate and neuroses of their parents and peers. But some of them just want to play with their fucking toys. Besides, if parents really wanted to protect their children from degradation and filth, they’d keep their kids off the Internet and get rid of cable TV. There aren’t many things that two regular Joes or Janes can do in public with each other that are as horrifying — or accessible — as 2Girls1Cup, Max Hardcore, or any reality show on television. The drive-thru porn industry has contributed more to sexual ennui and excessiveness than day-to-day gays ever will. Television and the Internet have taken lowest common denominators even lower. Any parent who rates street-level homosexuality as a higher danger than ivory-tower brainwashing needs a severe reevaluation. I have a ding-dong, and I like girls. I refuse to consider myself straight, due to the same anti-demographic, anti-stereotype reasoning that leads me to dismiss my labels of white and male. I have problems with the promotion of gay stereotypes, just as I have problems with fulfilled stereotypes of every cultural group. But no matter the conditions of my relationships with the people in my life, nobody on the outside is going to define them, in any way that matters, and I don’t feel it’s my place to dictate policy on anyone else (scorn is as far as I go). How dare anyone have the arrogance to believe that the validity of someone else’s thoughtful, caring, consensual relationship is subject to the community’s vote, and the community’s intrusion! Thanks to everyone who voted their arrogance this year, and to everyone who voted their arrogance in Wisconsin’s Referendum 1 in ‘06, for proving me right about the tyranny of democracy.Your votes truly do not count. The war of all against all is alive and well. There will always be an acceptable scapegoat, but that’s no reason for the scapegoats to quit. Those who fly Jim Crow will eventually eat him.
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November 13, 2008
In 2008, Wisconsin votes big blue By Adam Bissen
firstname.lastname@example.org In one history-defying election, Wisconsin went from the “purple-est” state in the nation to arguably its most blue. Not only did Barack Obama win more counties in Wisconsin than in any other state, Democrats here now control the governor’s office and both houses of legislature for the first time since the mid-1980s. No longer just the party of opposition, Democratic lawmakers say they’re ready to push an agenda that could include expanded health care benefits and a statewide smoking ban, but a $5 billion budget shortfall will likely trim their ambitions. This electoral landslide went down in Wisconsin, once the tightest “swing state” in the country. In 2004, John Kerry won Wisconsin by just 11,400 votes — the closest margin in the US — and the 2000 vote was even tighter, with Al Gore edging George W. Bush by 5,700 votes. This year Obama took 59 of Wisconsin’s 72 counties, and his 400,000-vote, 13 percentage point victory over John McCain was the biggest Democratic victory here in over 40 years. Looking at an electoral map, Wisconsin appears the bluest state between New England and Hawaii, although time will tell if that’s a one-time swing or a genuine partisan realignment. Democratic control Wisconsin Democrats flipped a net total of five Assembly seats in 2008, earning them a 52-46 advantage in the 99-person statehouse, with one independent. Couple that with their standing 18-15 edge in the state Senate and Democratic Gov. Jim Doyle’s 2006 re-election, and Democrats are poised to assume a level of partisan power not seen in Madison in years. In a telephone interview, La Crosse Democratic Rep. Jennifer Schilling attributed her party’s electoral success to a revolt against Republican mismanagement. Under GOP leadership, Wisconsin lawmakers ushered in a ban on stem cell research and gay marriage, while cutting funding for higher education and grinding other budgetary issues to gridlock. “God, gays and guns seemed like the
agenda items that we were dealing with in legislature, and I think people got tired of that and want some substantive work on the real issues they face,” mused Schilling, who was first elected to the state Assembly in 2000. State Democrats have been meeting this week to elect their leaders and plan a legislative agenda. At the top of the list, Schilling said, was adopting a comprehensive workplace smoking ban — an initiative supported by the state Senate in 2008 that later stalled in the Republican-controlled Assembly. Under Democratic leadership, legislature would also seem more inclined to support public education, expand health care coverage and extend domestic partner benefits to university employees. (UW-Madison is the only Big 10 school without such benefits.) Complicating the matter, of course, is Wisconsin’s financial health, as a falling economy decreases revenue to state coffers. Doyle said the state could be facing upwards of a $5 billion budget shortfall in 2009, which should limit Democratic spending and focus their agenda to attainable issues. “Whether it’s passing autism coverage or the smoking ban, these are the kinds of things we can tackle that won’t cost a lot of money,” said Schilling, forecasting the Democratic agenda. Republicans reeling Following recent Democratic gains, the state GOP now finds itself outside the corridors of power for the first time since the Tony Earl governorship of the mid-1980s. The party lost control of the Assembly for the first time in a decade, failed to retake a single a state Senate seat, and John Gard, a former speaker of the Assembly, lost an 8th District congressional race that the GOP expected him to win. Moreover, despite heavy campaigning in Wisconsin by the McCainPalin campaign, that presidential ticket was routed. Although Wisconsin’s 70 percent voter turnout was the second highest in the nation (behind Minnesota), it was actually slightly lower than the turnout for the more-contested 2004 race. Therefore, Obama’s 13
point victory in Wisconsin didn’t come from the predicted surge in new voters; it occurred because independent-minded Wisconsinites voted for the Democrat in unprecedented numbers. An astounding 32 counties flipped to the Democratic column in 2008, most of them outside the party’s urban stronghold. “I can’t believe we got clobbered that badly,” former Gov. Tommy Thompson, a Republican, told reporters last week after viewing the electoral map. “The whole thing is blue! Wisconsin is the bluest of the blue!” Now under Democratic control, many pundits expect the state legislature to be more sympathetic to urban interests such as shared revenue and infrastructure upgrades. On Wednesday, Democratic lawmakers elected Mike Sheridan, a former union president of the Janesville General Motors plant, to speaker of the Assembly. He fills the position formerly held by Mike Huebsch, a Republican from West Salem who did not respond to an interview request. “If there was an underlying theme of Republican campaigning in Wisconsin in 2008, it was: ‘Go away!’” wrote John Nichols, an associate editor of The Capital Times, in a recent editorial. "Republican candidates for federal and state office were so busy ranting about immigrants and socialists and the media and Muslims and Madison liberals that they created an impression of their party as a cowered camp of the paranoid and frightened. It was not a club that swing voters were going to want to join and, frankly, the Republicans seemed to have barred the doors anyway." Still a swing state
Voters in La Crosse County, for example, favored Barack Obama by 23 percentage points, but still re-elected Republicans Huebsch and Sen. Dan Kapanke to state office. (Schilling ran unopposed.) Exit polling shows a slight shift to the Democratic camp, but it’s also a telling capsule of Wisconsin independent mindedness. On Nov. 5, 39 percent of Wisconsin voters identified themselves as Democrats, while 33 percent proclaimed themselves Republicans and the rest were independents. In 2004, the numbers were almost completely reversed: 38 percent Republican, 35 percent Democrat and 27 percent independent. “This may have been a one-time election,” Heim said in an interview. “I don’t necessarily think this is a permanent shift. It’s too soon to tell.” Of all the facts that could be analyzed to evaluate the new-blue Wisconsin, the most telling are probably these: * In 2004, 53 percent of state voters said they approved of President Bush. In 2008, just 27 percent did. * In 2004, 47 percent of state voters considered the national economy good or excellent. In 2008, 8 percent thought the same. * In 2004, 20 percent cited the economy as their number one issue, and 19 percent cited terrorism. In 2008, 61 percent cited the economy and 7 percent cited terrorism. More than anything else, then, Wisconsinites appeared to vote their pocketbook in 2008. Namely, they saw Republicans governing in an era of shrinking bank accounts collapsing markets and decided Democrats deserved a chance, too. Now we’re tangled up in blue.
While the 2008 presidential vote tallies show Wisconsin moving dramatically to the left, there’s little evidence to suggest a permanent realignment. For one, the demographics of the state, a key factor in predicting voting patterns, remain largely unchanged — mostly Caucasian and divided between urban and rural areas. Second, Wisconsin voters have a notoriously independent streak. Joe Heim, a political science professor at UW-La Crosse, estimates that two-thirds of state voters split their ticket by supporting candidates of different parties.
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Second Supper vol. 8, issue 140
Welcome to the Obama-nation By Ben Clark
ately. Americans rejoiced, finally able to enjoy the benefits of free health care in the greatest country on Earth. The HMOs were put out of business. European countries congratulated us for joining them in the next millennium. But what happened next would stun even the most liberal of the European leaders. Obama’s administration then proceeded to pass a series of bills known simply as the “Fairness Doctrine,” the landscape of America began to change considerably. Marriage for samesex couples was not only made legal, but had its own amendment created and added into the Bill of Rights, and was even encouraged! Churches and private schools lost their tax-exempt status, and many were shut down with the pastors imprisoned for preaching “hate speech” against homosexuality. We saw nothing wrong with the hundreds of Christian martyrs who were summarily executed for their hate crimes. Thank God, we thought to ourselves, that these bigots are no more. Soon, a new law was passed; requiring all Christians to wear yellow crosses and were increasingly ostracized from everyday American society. Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens were promoted to Minister and Vice Minister to the Department of Scientifically-Sound Truth. Truly, it appeared that a second Renaissance was occurring in the country; a new Enlightenment. Soon, new public school programs were created. Courses were taught based completely in logic, reasoning and empirical evidence. Even modern-day creationism was taught as nothing more than a modern-day myth that had permeated every aspect of society, and was some-
email@example.com November 5, 2010. Two years after Obama’s historic victory. The first African-American elected to the highest office of the former United States, and the first supreme Bruthafor-life of the newly formed USSR…The United States Soviet Republic.We were so foolish…so naïve. We listened to him when he preached that change was coming, and change was indeed wrought down upon us. In the months following his inauguration, a number of events occurred to help bring about the speedy demise of the country. First of, three of the most conservative Supreme Court justices; Alito, Thomas, and Scalia, all retired due to old age or health concerns.Thanks to the newly given Democratic majority in Congress, Obama’s liberal/socialist nominations for the Supreme Court were approved with no problem, giving, for the first time in history, complete control of the three branches of the government to the Democrats.We were thrilled with this sudden and unexpected turn of events. This was the change that the country needed! Finally, there would be equality for all, and a level playing field for all Americans would be created. We had no idea where he would lead us, but we were excited. With complete control of the government, there was absolutely nothing left to stop Obama and the Democrats from their ultimate goal: a completely socialistic society. Things started off innocently enough. Universal health care was passed and implemented immedi-
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thing to scorn. Soon, the youth in this country were filled with just as much hatred and disgust as their government towards Christians. The persecution continued on. Further bills were passed making it illegal for Christians to congregate in groups of more than two. Their marriages were considered invalid and were rejected by the state. With the church completely dissolved, and their marriages no longer recognized, millions of chaste, pure Christians were unable to procreate, successfully reducing the number of Christians in America to palpable tens of thousands. The Obama administration passed a new bill making it legal for abortions to occur within the fourth trimester. Everything was falling apart. Crack cocaine had become the new drug of choice for a now struggling society.The rampant taxation of the rich had finally taken its toll, leaving the economy in tatters. Former minorities were rising up and taking control of affluent suburbs while the former straight white counterparts were forced into newly formed ghettos. Giant posters and billboards with Obama’s well-known slogan of “Change”
were placed all over the country. Soon, anything that was associated in the past with being part of the white, protestant, conservative was deemed “historically hateful” and was classified as a new form of hate crime. These criminals, some of whom had even supported his bid for Presidency, which now was a seemingly long two years ago, were jailed or executed for hate crimes. I wish I could back. I wish I could warn the rest of the country about what was going to happen. If only we hadn’t taken God out of the public schools. If only those atheistic socialists hadn’t taken charge, none of this would have happened. America would still have been a God-fearing country, strong and beautiful. We’d still be on top of the world. I…I have to stop writing. I think one of the guards heard me. I hope this makes it to the outside, and that this changes something. Hope and Change are all that I have left in this worl… comic by Nicholas Cabreza
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Forget Obami, Rahmbo is here! contributing writer
I never believed the “Obambi” moniker that some in the media laid on Obama this past year. I even bet a little cash on him beating Hillary (and later McCain). And in the end, Obama did not disappoint. While Obama and many other politicians cultivate an image of affability, they are usually just as cutthroat as we rightfully imagine. Anybody who goes from Illinois state senator to President-elect in four years has read his Machiavelli. And that is a good thing. We heard about two kinds of change in this election. One was the old anti-Washington, post-partisan gambit that independents love to hear every four years. (Remember “Change We Can Believe In”?) For some reason, undecided voters eternally yearn for the kumbaya moment when Republicans will stop governing so badly and Democrats will stop burning flags at gay weddings, and everyone will live happily ever after. Good luck with that. The second kind of change that Obama emphasized was a 180-degree policy shift from President Bush. Call this “The Change We Need.” Now you’re talking. Because anyone who looks at Democratic control of both Congress and the White House and assumes change will come easy has a poor grasp of history. College freshman, you just have to trust me that there was a time long ago when Democrats had control of the entire government. I know, sounds ridiculous. But from 1992 to 1994, that was the truth. Can you imagine if universal health care had been passed? Or
better mileage standards for cars? Or an inflation-indexed minimum wage? Strains of Louis Armstrong’s “What a Wonderful World” come bouncing into my head. Too bad it never happened. Enter Rahmbo. For the uninitiated, “Rahmbo” is the nickname of Obama’s just picked White House Chief of Staff, Congressman Rahm Emanuel. As Republican incumbents dropped like flies on election night in 2006, the mastermind of the win famously climbed on a table and shouted, “They can go f*ck themselves!!” Perhaps it was the alcohol, but the one-time Israeli army volunteer never bothered to apologize. The truth is, you want Rahmbo on your side.You need Rahmbo on your side.The White House Chief of Staff has been called the second most powerful person in Washington, and many younger members of the Democratic Congress already owe Emanuel their jobs, so who better to be twisting their arms? What a juxtaposition to 1992, when Bill Clinton belatedly chose his Arkansas buddy Mack McLarty, a.k.a. “Mack the Nice,” to head the West Wing. Nothing got done. I wish politics was a nicer pursuit, but I would rather have the guy who once sent a thirty-inch rotting fish to a political enemy. Emanuel has done this. Expectations are extraordinarily high for Barack Obama. Who can forget the image of that election night crowd in Grant Park? One wonders how long after January 20 the honeymoon will last. Installing Rahmbo in the passenger seat does not suggest a change in Washington’s tone. But I’ll forgive Obama the change we can believe in if he delivers the change we need.
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Second Supper vol. 8, issue 140
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Reflections By Bob Treu
contributing writer Song Sung Blue Election Night: Grant Park has never looked so pretty. Thousands and thousands of people happily cheering the family who will soon become our national darlings. A handsome, elegant president-elect, surrounded by beautiful, elegant women. Jesse Jackson’s face is beaming in the crowd. For those of us old enough to remember, Grant Park was a different scene forty years ago, when the streets of Chicago flowed with blood, and the Republic seemed on the verge of unraveling. But tonight, even those of us who are cynical and tired of American politics, are caught up in the magic. And for Obama it wasn’t a squeaker, it was a blowout. Somehow a young Black senator has defeated one of our favorite war heroes. If you like mythic explanations, this is one of our favorite stories. The new man takes on the oldest tough guy in town, a little slower on the draw now, and a bit meaner than necessary, but still the favorite. The fight is as inevitable as the outcome. And then, of course, they make up. Of course it was as much good strategy as myth. Blue states fell into place like pieces of a child’s puzzle, the red pieces a shrinking slice of the heartland, the places Sarah Palin allowed were the patriotic parts. Something to reckon with for sure, but for now Obama seemed to have built a new consensus.
American. Hacker suggested we should subtract 7 percent from a Black candidate’s figures. That made Obama’s chances look shaky the day before the election. Then he scored as expected in Wisconsin and Minnesota, where the old progressive vision seemed to come awake again, like Rip Van Winkle wondering which King George he was looking at after his long nap. In Iowa, Obama did even better. But the real surprise was in states like Indiana, Ohio, Nevada and Virginia, where the race was still very tight on election eve. Among his other startling achievements, Obama may have ended the Bradley effect. Or not. He may just be that unique, in which case, the Bradley effect will be
ample? The choice of Sarah Palin as running mate was supposed to attract angry Hillary supporters. She would be a rallying point for women who deserved better than the Dems had given them. But it was soon obvious Sarah wasn’t it. How many women do you know who can’t distinguish between what Hillary and Sarah stand for in our system of political symbols? One represents what they are leaving behind, the other where they hope to get. So there he was, the old war hero flanked by Cindy, who at times looked like a poster child for oppressed women, and Sarah, who beamed and nodded and acted as if she were in charge. And then there were those strange ac-
teemed of Reaganite mantras: “Government is the problem.” We needed government to do something and right now. McCain and Palin promised to attack the greed on Wall Street, as if that particular engine had ever run on any other fuel. But just how they would have done that remains their darkest secret. We wanted the Maverick to be that, to be independent enough to say deregulation has been a disaster, to remind us of how the S&L bailout worked in the '80s and what it cost us, and above all, why we need to stop doing that sort of crazy stuff. Of course McCain didn’t cause the present crisis, but he didn’t say that much to reassure us. Meanwhile, Obama was on the phone, talking to every economist and legislator he could find. And he listened to them, which is in itself a refreshing change of style from what we’re used to. He doesn’t have the problem solved either, but he has something like a plan. McCain’s concession speech was inspiring and gracious, ironically the best moment of his campaign. The RNC operatives had walked and Sarah was finally out of his hair, so he said the one thing he could never say during the campaign. Obama’s winning is a credit to our country. McCain seemed to take a genuine pride in what we have accomplished as a nation, and he did not seem self-serving. Does it mean race is no longer an issue in America? Indeed, a few people are talking about our post-racial future. But we’ll have to see about that. On the other hand, if we have put a dent in the rule of identity politics in America, so much the better.
The Children’s Crusade
That’s what they called Gene McCarthy’s quixotic tilt at the power structure in 1968, but his local campaign headquarters looked like a geriatric unit compared to Obama’s. Not that all young people voted. Plenty of them were still too alienated to care. And the question of who gets to vote in America remains problematic. The day before the election a GOTV worker knocked on the door of a young man who declared he couldn’t vote because he was a felon. He was tall and thin, his long hair long and sun-wrecked. He was a rock climber and a snowboarder. He liked adventure. “I hopped a freight,” he said, grinning in enjoyment at the irony. He and a buddy had been busted in the wrong place by the wrong dick. When the GOTV worker explained he could vote in Wisconsin when his parole was up, the young man wondered about the felon who was running for the Senate in Alaska. “Can he vote for himself?”
The day after the election two guys are discussing the results in a coffee shop. One has worked on the Obama campaign and is a little punchdrunk with happiness. The other is younger, a bemused and apolitical radical. He explains that he doesn’t vote because the big corporations pretty much have it all locked up anyway. He is into alternative life styles. At a nearby table sits an older gent, skinny, whitehaired and with a face like a mud trowel. He has been listening as he works at a laptop. He rises from his chair and begins his rant. We would not have working computers or cars if it weren’t for corporations. His irritation grows quickly into rage: “What really gets me is your total lack of gratitude.” It isn’t clear which man he means. Perhaps both. “We’re not talking anymore, because I’ll come to blows with you.” Exit angry man, jerking the computer cord out of the outlet and slamming the thing shut as he marches off. It was a fair trope of what has happened. Along with what we have learned about race and the economy in recent months, we have learned something about discourse. The quiet man with the habit of closing his index finger and his thumb in a graceful circle as he makes a point has reminded us of something we used to know. Be cool, make your points calmly, and look the other person in the eye. Then listen to what she or he has to say. It can’t hurt. And there’s a good chance you’ll make your point.
The Bradley Effect The size of the Obama victory left the pollsters gasping in wonderment. Most of us learned, from Andrew Hacker (“Obama: The Price of Being Black,” The New York Review, Sept. 25, 1008) and others about this. Wikipedia even has an entry describing how Tom Bradley, the popular African-American mayor of Los Angeles was ahead in the polls the final days of his gubernatorial run and then lost to the white candidate. More curiously, he was still ahead in the exit polls. People apparently don’t tell the truth to pollsters if one candidate is African-
back in the future. The McCampaign Or it may be that Obama won because McCain ran one of the worst presidential campaigns in recent history, almost to the point of calculated self-destruction. He didn’t distance himself from the Bush record until too late, when it wasn’t credible. On Iraq and the economy, he managed to actually find positions to the right of the President’s. During the debates he appeared edgy and irritable, taking the role of the hot-headed crank opposite Obama’s cool cat. The rumor about McCain’s tendency to lose his temper in tense situations seemed more and more plausible, and a likeable guy managed to make himself unlikeable. Every other day he seemed to flash a message that contradicted what we thought we had heard the day before. What was he saying to women, for ex-
cusations and scurrilous blogs: Obama likes terrorists, Obama is an Islamic Arab, Obama’s birth certificate is faulty. Is he even a citizen (as if we wouldn’t remember his mom’s citizenship covered his, and to make that one stick, they would have had to prove he wasn’t her son)? It all backfired on McCain, and it made him seem more bush league than, well, Bush. A lot of undecideds had heard it all before from the RNC and were tired of it. Every time the dogs snarled, they liked Obama more. To make matters worse, the financial bubble burst and Wall Street went into convulsions. Everyone was hurt, not just the high fliers. We’re talking about people losing their homes. Even those who paid on their mortgages for decades and finally owned their houses, woke up to discover the value of their property had fallen drastically. Jobs would be lost. Even more folks would be without healthcare. And for a couple of weeks we did not hear the most es-
art by Rick Serdynskiv
November 13, 2008
Dispatches from HQ! SS Wagon Returned! The autumn sun was still warming the streets of downtown as I strolled back to 305 Pearl Street — aka HQ and my place of residence — after an average day slinging brews at my other job. I climbed the stairs, and as I searched for my keys my peripheral caught something that made me do a double-take: a bright, kelly green wagon. Yes, our beloved Supper mobile had returned! You avid readers out there will remember a few weeks back when I explained that little Shuggypop's distribution vehicle had been savagely stolen from us. You'll remember my desperate (yet friendly!) plea for its return. Well, either my writing style is killer and convincing or someone just realized they didn't want to spend the afterlife surrounded by scorching flames. I'd like to think it was the latter. Maybe someone just planned on borrowing it to haul an intoxicated friend home for the night. Maybe someone needed something with wheels to move a heavy piece of furniture into their new abode. Maybe someone just wanted to freak us out a little bit. Truth is, we here at HQ will never know what our wagon saw during the two weeks of its absence, but you know what? We don't even care. As promised, no questions were asked. We're just thankful to have it back...even though it's missing its handle. That's what twine and Duct Tape are for. All I want to say is thank you. Thank you for doing the right thing. Hell, now my co-workers won't have to drag me across the streets of La Crosse when I'm intoxicated and need to get home...I'll be able to ride in style. As for little Shuggypop? He can now stop breaking his spine hauling our lovely publication on his back. Now, don't you feel better? — Briana Rupel
Bissen's 'Stashe Shaved! Let's get something out in the open right off the bat: There are very few men who can pull off a moustache. Either they end up looking like sleazy salesmen from 1972, or the dude from Super Troopers who's screwing that blonde German floozy. Enter Adam Bissen. During the summertime, our fearless Editor-in-Chief is smartly cleanshaven. Once the leaves start changing, however, the facial hair begins to linger. Thing is, instead of looking like a molester, he pulls it off like Jeremiah Johnson wielding a .50 caliber rifle while stalking a grizzly. Now that's bad-ass. And not at all upsetting. What is upsetting, at least to me, is that he already *gulp* shaved it off. Maybe I'm hiding out in the minority here, but I'd take a burly mountain man over a babyfaced boy any day. Lucky for you, residents of the Coulee Region, I'll bet you twenty bucks that handlebar will be back by mid-December...and he won't even need a rifle to rock it. — Briana Rupel
Newspaper War Waged! I’m onto your game, Tribune. So you want a newspaper war, see? Well a newspaper war you’ll get! I’m on to your little tricks, your snappy Qs & As, those cute editorial opinions and the pictures on the side.You think I’ve never seen that before? Flim-flam! Oh, you’re a sly grey lady, ain’t ya? But you don’t run this town, and I got news for ya: We don’t like nobodies encroaching on our turf. This is our neighborhood, see? You think I don’t know short stories? You think I never ignored half this city before? You think I never started writing about myself because I didn’t have anything else to say? I invented that racket! This is our game,
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Second Supper vol. 8, issue 140
you hear? I know we make it look easy.Twenty-four pages, once a week, what’s not to love about a gig like that? Well, I’ll tell ya: plenty! A town can only have one press cutting the corners. This is our hustle, see? Did you think I wouldn’t notice those sans serifs? Malarkey! Get outta here with your serifs and take those geezer fonts with ya. While you’re at, maybe you can find the rest of that newsprint that those paper hustlers got you strung by the potato. If you want to slug it out in the trenches, see, keep wise of the Harlem sunset. You can’t out-supper the Supper. Short-changed news, narcissism, non-sequiturs, frivolity — that’s what we serve up hot. But keep biting, Tribune. You’ll find it filling on the race to the bottom. — C. Kane Foster
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Q&A with a martial arts bard ly. I focused a lot more on action in Life and Money Heist as opposed to plot with the exception of the huge amounts of plot twists. I also wanted to work on the progression of the characters as well. SS: There's certainly more of a mad science, Matrix feel to the new book. What led you to this? AS: I wanted to have villains that were seemingly unstoppable for Mike to fight to raise the stakes and crank the fight scenes up 110%. I came up with the idea of having people who were scientifically modified to not feel pain and programmed to be next to perfect martial artists. SS: What is your writing process?
Once again, Winona's Andy Schoepp discusses what goes into writing his killer martial arts novels! Bask in his radiance, or I’ll crack your head open with a nunchaku!
AS: I have a lot of action sequences in my mind as well as characters and plot lines. I decide what characters would be the most intriguing in the plot lines and in the fight scenes and action sequences and put it all together in a cohesive story. I write out a loose outline so I don’t forget anything major and then I start type the stories straight through and go back later and do editing. I go through the book in much greater detail after the original rough draft is complete.
Second Supper: The new book kicks ass! How has being a published author paid off so far?
SS: What have you done to get the word out on your books?
Andy Schoepp: I am pleased with the results thus far. I was careful in the beginning to set small goals to avoid disappointment which was a good thing because now I can measure success in small steps instead of hoping for a grand slam, best seller and then having a big emotional let down when it didn’t happen. Being a published author has paid off in other ways though. I have had complete strangers approach me to tell me they loved the book and saw me on TV or in the newspapers. I also get a lot of autograph requests. I have sort of become a regional celebrity.
AS: I’ve handed out business cards and talked to people I meet in day to day activities. I’ve also contacted a lot of news medias in all three forms (print, radio and TV) and had some success.About 95% of my success has been regional with only about 5% success nationally. I’ve contacted the major TV networks and some of the national newspapers by sending them media materials on both of my books but don’t get much of a response. I just need one or two big breaks and I’m confident that someday my efforts will pay off if I stick with it.
By Brett Emerson
SS: How did you approach writing a sequel? AS: I actually threw caution to the wind here. I had Life and Money Heist done before I even started looking for a publisher for The Martial Arts Murders. I just followed the same formula I used to write The Martial Arts Murders and luckily everything seemed to go quite smooth-
SS:You credit your mom with helping you in the editing process. Does the collaboration ever get awkward, especially when you’re writing hot scenes such as Stacey getting handcuffed and spanked? AS: First of all, my mom is probably going to read this interview so I need to be careful here (laughs). My mom basically looks for typos and
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Second Supper vol. 8, issue 140
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reads the manuscript to make sure the plot makes sense. It’s hard for an author to read his or her own work to see if it makes sense. The real test is to see if it makes sense to the reader. My mom understands that ultimately it is my book and she gives input but she understands that I make the final decisions. As far as the sex in my books, the approvals and disapprovals seem to fall down the age demographic, people between 18 and 45 like the sex scenes (some actually love them) and everybody over 45 seems to disapprove and that degree of disapproval varies. I think my mom understands that people in the 18 to 45 year old demographic are more sexually liberated and are more adventurous and like to experiment and try new things. I think the older readers of my books were raised in the time when schools and parents taught that sex was dirty and people shouldn’t talk about it. I think my mom understands that I fall in the first demographic and we’re both adults so it isn’t very awkward at all. Besides, “sex sells.” If readers don’t like the sex scenes, just skip 5 or 6 pages and read on from there. My books are strong, powerful and edgy so if the sex scenes in my books create a little controversy that’s great; you know I won’t back down from a little controversy (laughs). SS: How involved are you in the martial arts today? AS: I would very much like to get back into training since I was two months away from testing for my 3rd degree black belt at one point. Unfortunately, five years ago I threw my
back out performing a 360 side kick. I went to physical therapy for almost a year and it didn’t help much. So I finally broke my longstanding rule of never seeing a chiropractor but after six months with a chiropractor my back felt a lot better. But now I spend so much time with work, writing books, family, friends and TV shows that I got hooked on that I just don’t have the time. I keep researching different styles of martial arts and different weapons though to keep in touch with the arts. SS: What authors inspire you and your writing? AS: Nobody really, I haven’t read any fiction in quite some time. Some people compare my books to Eric Van Lustbader’s books but the only book I read of his was “The Miko” and that was a long time ago so I don’t even remember it that well. SS: What is your dream cast for the Martial Arts Murders films? AS: Oh how I wish Jerry Bruckheimer would produce these books into movies (laughs). I think a good Mike would be John Cena if he could bulk down just a little. George Eads from CSI for Mark. The perfect Stacey would be Scarlett Johansson. A good Vickers would be Jeremy Ratchford from Cold Case if they could use makeup to make him look a bit older. Donnie Yen would be a great Sho Katarugi. Off
see Schoepp, page 19
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Reviews: Your Guide to Consumption Cappuccino Stout Lagunitas Brewing Company Petaluma, California
Gettin' Shuggy with it Street Jams: Electric Funk, Vols. 1-4 Oh, hi everybody. This is a new column where every week I'm going to randomly talk about whatever record it is I'm listening to while I type. This four-disk box set contains a shit load of electro cuts from most of the genre's top studs. For a short time in the early '80s, electro was the sound of the urban streets B-Boys got down to. Party music to the fullest, electro was created by pioneering producers using drum machine beats to mimic the turntable innovations that DJ Kool Herc and Grandmaster Flash were dropping on Bronx parties in the mid to late '70s, combined with the synth ideas of musicians such as Kraftwerk, Gary Newman and Yellow Man Orchestra. Though its time in the spotlight was but a blip and its stars are far from household names, it helped evolve two genres of music that you are probably familiar with; techno and hip-hop. While hip-hop today is basically thought of as being some dude rapping, in electro's era, hip hop was DJs spinning breaks to the B-Boys and graffiti artists who represented the underground culture of the
streets you'd see spray painted on the subway trains of New York City, with an occasional MC rapping over the beats. These jams made a party possible without a DJ, All that was needed was a ghetto blaster. On this set, you will find cuts by Afrika Bambaataa who is considered the godfather of hip-hop, Cybotron, who under his real name Juan Atkins pioneered Detroit Techno, The Wreckin Cru who had Dr. Dre in it's ranks, Egyptian Lover who is a personal favorite of mine, as well as a few songs that got some radio play by Herbie Hancock, Shannon and Newcleus that you might recognize. Many of the songs on this set are 12" mixes, which extend the funk and keep the party moving. To get a sense of the style of this scene, check out a couple of documentaries that can give you a visual feel for this era; Style Wars and The Freshest Kids: A History of the B-Boy. Get fresh yo! — Shuggypop Jackson
Man, do I love beer, but if there’s any beverage that gives it a run for its money, it’s coffee. There’s just so much to love about the pair. From the roast of beans to the bite of hops, the burst of energy to the filling malts, beer and coffee are transcendent beverages that enrich all senses. OK, that descriptor might be a bit much, but I do love me a good coffee stout. It’s the perfect winter beer, warming to the core, so I decided to treat myself tonight after scraping the first frost from my windshield.The Lagunitas Cappuccino Stout runs $4 for a 22 oz. bottle — expectation-raising but still reasonable for a high-end brew — and I can happily report that it’s worth every penny, easily holding its own against any other beer-coffee hybrid. In a pint glass, Appearance: 7 the Cappuccino Stout is black as lumAroma: 7 berjack coffee with a tan head so active it Taste: 9 grows after the pour. For being so coffeeMouthfeel: 8 infused, that aroma is surprisingly hidDrinkability: 6 den in the nose, as dark fruits and milk chocolates dominate. Total: 37 The latter is probably
a testament to the “Cappuccino” flavor, which I had never before seen branded in a beer, but it creates a nice niche in the wide world of coffee stouts. Raising a glass, the tongue is immediately treated with that sweet stout flavor before nicely roasted coffee notes creep up from the sides. Heavy molasses flavors then emerge in the cheeks, although they’re undercut by some chocolate notes and juicy hops. The mouthfeel is rich and thick, limiting the amount you could drink (as does the 8.3 percent alcohol by volume), but it finishes on a surprisingly dry note. That finish appropriates the coffee experience just fine, but before the taste dissipates, the Cappuccino Stout elevates to some higher echelon of flavor — like a chipolte pepper served crushed on a Hershey bar. It’s an astounding flavor, unlike anything I've ever tried in a beer, but that's what can happen when you're working with coffee. — Adam Bissen
The Cure – 4:13 Dream In this decade, The Cure has released three releases that mix the band’s expected tendencies for kitty-cat wails, out-of-phase guitars, drop-off whispers and moonlight texturing into three distinct works. 2000’s Bloodflowers is a spiraling, lyrical work of majesty. Of the three, this comes closest to spooky stereotype, and does get languorous at points. Yet Bloodflowers is among the band’s best releases, performed live by the band as the final arc of a trilogy which includes Pornography and Disintegration. Ignoring any comparisons, 2004’s self-titled follow-up album is weak. In its best moments, it delivers whimsical guitar lines and Peter Panlike cheer from Robert Smith. Say what you will about The Cure’s sad panda act, but its gravity is consistent. In some respects, the newest release reconciles the conflicting aspects of the two previous works.The slant leans more upbeat, though the smiley songs on 4:13 Dream are better crafted than their immediate predecessors.The retention of the Cure’s grand sensibilities allows the slipups on to be forgiven. “Only One” may be the anglospook’s retelling of Puddle of Mudd’s “I like the way you slap my ass” sentiment, but the vocal delivery and three-step guitar ascensions keep the joy and depth of the song intact. It’s followed by “Reasons Why,” which is signature Cure depression, and sonically the best song on the album. Yet it’s apt assessment of these songs’ ability to shine even
while stumbling that this track doesn’t arrive as a relief. Even a song with as clichéd a title as “Sleep When I’m Dead” compensates for these errant vocals with frenetic dirgefunk. The hit-andmiss combination doesn’t work for every song; “Perfect Boy” falls on the deep end of namby-pamby. But the sum of 4:13 Dream is a strong correction of the Cure’s recent tendency to wander into the absentminded, and an album which returns the band’s grand scope into full view, often imitated, but rarely topped. — Brett Emerson
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Reviews: Your Guide to Consumption Film
Rachel Getting Married (2008)HHH
Troll 2 (1990)
Director: Jonathan Demme Cast: Anne Hathaway, Rosemaire DeWitt, Tunde Adebimpe
Directed by: Claudio Fragasso Starring: Michael Stephenson, George Hardy, Jason F.Wright Written by: Claudio Fragasso
In my recent review for Pride and Glory, I complained that a few scenes with violentlyshaky camera work nearly caused me to vomit. I owe that film an apology. Every shot of Rachel Getting Married was filmed using hand-held cameras, even though, unlike The Blair Witch Project or Cloverfield, it isn't faux filmed by one of the characters. Had I been able to look at the screen, I might be able to write a good review. But I had to close my eyes for long periods at a time because the asshole director, Jonathan Demme, doesn't care if a film's style is going to immediately alienate a number of its viewers. So in truth, I'm not qualified to review Rachel's plot, story, characters, subtexts, performances, etc., because I spent the second half of the movie struggling to overcome nausea. Just thinking about it makes me nauseous. I'm gonna go lie down. OK, I'm back. Shaky-cam aside, professional critics love Rachel Getting Married, and I can see why. There's a Juno-esque quality to Kym (Hathaway), who — simultaneously tough and desperate — is released from rehab to attend
her sister Rachel's wedding. Kym's got problems with which she's getting help: drugs, alcohol, and an event in her past that remains hush-hush for most of the weekend. Desperate for attention, Kym tries to make the weekend about her, but the event is so grandiose, so magnificent and imposing that her pleas get swallowed up in the majestic energy. The scale of the picture is astounding: people are everywhere, musicians are always playing, and in a sense, the wandering hand-held camera works to effect in capturing all the random people, music, and conversations that overwhelm the setting. But its usefulness stops there. The camera distracts more than it places the viewer in the action. I'm reading Rachel Getting Married threads on IMDB.com, and a number of them have to do with people walking out because of the nauseating camera work. It's shame, because take away the vomit-inducing camera, and Rachel Getting Married is a contender for the best move of the year (so far). The actors deserve better, screenwriter Jenny Lumet deserves better, and the audience deserves better. My suggestion: watch it on the small screen, lest ye hurl from motion sickness. — Nick Cabreza
A sure sign of arrival at cult classic’s pinnacle is when a documentary is made about a film’s cultural impact, one which at first seems destined for failure. The Rocky Horror Picture Show is the easy example of the midnight movie phenomenon. Terry Gilliam’s aborted Quixote piece, chronicled by Lost in La Mancha, became an odd situation where the documentary itself created the underground. Though Star Trek’s popularity precludes it from cult classic status, there’s something to be said for the series of Trekkies documentaries which present the lives of some of the institution’s more extreme fans. Over the years since I first saw this gem on late-night cable, it has ascended to this cult classic pantheon. It should be no surprise that the stars of a troll-less movie entitled Troll 2 wouldn’t move on to bigger things in cinema — though Jason Wright, who played the film’s questionably hetero boyfriend, went on to strike literary acclaim with The Wednesday Letters. Michael Stephenson, Troll 2’s pig-nosed
child star, spent years running away from crap film notoriety. Eventually, however, he discovered that this gem had set the crapseeking world on fire. Finally accepting his film’s glory, Stephenson filmed a forthcoming documentary titled Best Worst Movie, reuniting much of the cast and encountering myriad Troll 2 wildlife. The most disturbing part of a disturbing trailer is when a film goon volunteers to get a Troll 2 tattoo. I’m excited to see this monstrosity in full. The original subject matter shows what happens when Italian filmmakers descend upon Utah wastes and attempt to square the circle. In this case, the Italians in question have snuck in vegetarian goblins in place of absent trolldom. Their masterwork is one devoid of subtlety, a combination of overacting and dimwittery. An imperiled family that is unable to notice, at least in passing, that the town of Nilbog spells Goblin in reverse is a family that requires helmets. Throw in a creepy dead grandpa, a trailer full of scantily clad man-boys, and the queen of method acting wicked witches, and the world has been blessed with one of the dumbest casts in history. The Bizarro gods are pleased. You can’t piss on hospitality! — Brett Emerson
Intimate Treasures Adult Gifts & Smoke Shop
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Second Supper vol. 8, issue 140
Andy Schoepp – Life and Money Heist (2008) This year, all you punk bitches who gripe about sequels never living up to their originals have been given two pieces of evidence to the contrary. You’ve got the Dark Knight, and you’ve got Andy Schoepp’s Life and Money Heist. Our Winona laureate has followed up last year’s ass kick opera, The Martial Arts Murders, with another literary monster. The first book topped my best of 2007 book list; nothing short of Armageddon will stop Life and Money Heist from ruling 2008. Both books have been part of an ongoing trilogy, with the awesome-named Detective Michael Darts at its center. Darts is every spin-kicking, hard boiled cop in the history of martial arts cinema rolled into one.There is no fucking around in this man; he fights hard, and loves harder. This time, Darts and company find themselves chasing the dead, who have come back to life and are running batshit around town. These zombies feel no pain, are masters of armed and unarmed combat, and destroy at will in their mindless rampage for big payola. Worse still, there’s science to these bastards, giving their path of destruction a cold, sharp edge. Whereas the Martial Arts Murders operated as an action-packed mystery novel, Life and Money Heist is more of a straight action story. The difference in style is one of degree, not sweeping generalities. The mystery is still here, and the plot twists keep coming right up to the end, where Michael Darts delivers
a catchphrase of such awesomeness that it makes Schwarzenegger’s “I’ll be back” sound Brady Bunch pubescent. The big distinction is that readers will know much earlier in the story just who deserves a Darts-grade beatdown. But therein waits another twist. Darts is no fool; he discovers the villain just as soon as the reader. This knowledge, however, flushes out the tale’s true enemy – red tape. While Darts takes down the zombies, he must also confront an obstacle that he can’t kick his way through. I would also be remiss if I didn’t mention the hot sex! While the newest book features less of Schoepp’s signature full-tilt man-onbabe action, what action there is blasts into overdrive. I only need five words to prove my point: “Chapter 18 — Stacey under Arrest.” Fuck yeah! Our fearless editor can attest to the luminous shit-eating grin that was on my face when I received a signed copy of Life and Money Heist in the mail. I spent that night carrying the book from bar to bar like a preacher with his Bible. As we did for the first book, my friends and I read random pages, and we pounded fists on bars while roaring in triumph at each glorious excerpt. Andy Schoepp is the martial arts Shakespeare. I have never read another author who translated the greatness of martial arts cinema to print. If this book doesn’t kick your ass, then you don’t have an ass! — Brett Emerson
I'm Jonesin' for a Crossword "My Heart Belongs to You"--a little organ music. By Matt Jones Across 1 Canaanite gods 6 Bathroom rug 9 Saucy gatherings, for short? 13 Meat cooked in its own fat, to a chef 14 Earlier than now 15 Off-color, like comedic material 16 ___ Online (longrunning MMORPG) 17 Jazz magazine that awards an "Album of the Year" 19 Give a not-good staredown 20 Palm device 21 Part of a nuclear family, maybe 22 Where some horn players use their fingerings 25 Soak (up) 26 London-based record company 27 Some VCR models 30 Oscar the Grouch's original color 33 Crowd sounds heard while watching acrobats
58 Nobel-winning author Gordimer 59 Tissue additive 60 Second Amendment-touting gp. 61 Reznor and Lott, for two 62 Hip-hop duo the ___ Yang Twins 63 Suffix after mountain 64 Mount for Moses
34 1987 dance hit single by M/A/R/R/S 39 "The Wire" character Little 40 Sounds associated with first responders 41 Coca-Cola brand
of bottled water 44 Form W-2 provider 45 Singer Corinne Bailey ___ 48 Gerry's U.K. backup band of the 1960s
52 Panic at the Disco genre 54 Poetic sigh 55 "Rock ___" (old hymn) 56 Supergrass single of 2008
Friday November 21st
Down 1 Maurice Ravel work 2 Contribute to the poker game 3 Get ___ grip on 4 Capital city near the Pacific 5 Page in a U.S. atlas 6 Show Michael McDonald left in 2008 7 Outdoor marketplace 8 Locker room bin items 9 Consumer information org. 10 Phrase heard a lot during allergy season 11 Dong ___ (root in Chinese medicine)
12 Collector's collections 13 Groups with fringe benefits? 18 ___ Scotia 23 Colorations 24 Double-bonded organic compounds 28 Resistance unit 29 Weather Channel dir. 30 The "O" in O magazine 31 Letters near 4, on a touchtone keypad 32 Spine-tingling 34 Group of whales 35 Thurman who played Beatrix Kiddo 36 Extinct animal that resembled an elephant 37 "___ Finest" (tagline on a Ben & Jerry's container) 38 Touring with animals in Africa, perhaps 42 "A Face in the Crowd" actress Patricia 43 Time magazine's "Invention of the Year" for 2007
Answers to Issue 139's "Tis the Season"
45 Saskatchewan's capital 46 "___ just the cutest?" 47 Curvy letters 49 Love, to Lorenzo 50 Chest wood 51 Hip name for baby boys 52 PayPal owner 53 Algeria neighbor 57 Ask for table scraps
ÂŠ2008 Jonesin' Crosswords (email@example.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0388.
784-8470 For Shuttle Pat McCurdy Live NYE Advanced Tickets Available
STARTING NOV. 14th
LAST CHANCE TO WIN GREEN BAY TICKETS MNF PACKERS VS. SAINTS WHEN YOU DRINK MILLER PRODUCTS 17
November 13, 2008
Happenings classifieds $790 / 2br - Beautiful, Spacious Upper- Garage, Garden, Porch 115 N. 13th Street, La Crosse Conveniently located near the YMCA, UW-L,Viterbo, and downtown. Security Deposit $750 is due at lease signing. This is a short term rental available from December 1st through April 31st. SUBLEASE: 3 Bedroom House 1727 Mississippi St Available now thru June 1st (option to renew). Cool 3 bedroom house + den, dining room, w/d, pellet stove, and more. No Pets! 784-6731 2001 18ft Bayliner ski boat snap fit cover, 125hp Mercury, ski pylon 608-385-5315, $9400 2001 Jeep Cherokee Sport blue, cd, pl, pw, 262-893-8313, $5900 King pillow top mattress set in Package, $255, Full Sized Set $120 Deliverable 608-3994494 Queen pillow top mattress set Brand New Still in Plastic, Can Deliver 608-399-4494 80 acres of hunting land Trophy bucks & turkeys, etc. Can build on it. $4400 per acre. 16 x 80 Mobile Home On the bluff, 3 BR, 2 Bath, fenced yard, garage, deck. Available now. $22,900 or make offer. 608-7842513 or 317-0980.
GOT SOMETHING TO HAWK? We’re starting a new classifieds section just for you. For $10/wk, you get three lines (25 words) to get rid of that old grill, those sweet rollerblades, promo your Garage Sale, or sell that extra kidney quick! (Just kidding, that’s not legal.)
Interested? send your 25 words to: firstname.lastname@example.org Submissions will be edited for length and inappropriate content. Please include current billing address and contact info.
ongoing events SOCRATES CAFE
Every Monday Acoustic Cafe Winona, Minn. 8 p.m. Philosophical discussion group YOGA
Every Tuesday Bluffland Bloom & Brew La Crosse approx. 7 p.m. All ages, skill levels welcome Donations gladly accepted FIGURE DRAWING
Every Wednesday Green Bay Street Studio La Crosse greenbaystreetstudio.blogspot.com 6 p.m. - 8 p.m. cost is $5 ($3 for members and students) WINONA AREA PEACEMAKERS VIGIL
Every Thursday Central Park Winona, Minn. 4:30 p.m. POETRY READING
Every Sunday Bluffland Bloom & Brew La Crosse Begins at dusk Open mic reading, come to read or just to watch. Free and open to all ages. COMMUNITY HARVEST
Every Sunday Private home, email for details Winona, Minn. 2 p.m. Free food and talent
art exhibits BETWEEN WORLDS BY AMANDA McCONNELL
October 16 - November 8 Pump House (La Crosse) McConnell alludes to the unseen forces of life. Light, color and poetry of form convey the states of being that lead to all creation. "THE BACKWATERS OF THE MISSISSIPPI"
October 16 - November 8 Sui Conrad combines photogravure manipulation and different intaglio techniques to represent the imagery of the lakes and sloughs of the river. Also includes navigational charts referencing the areas that the imagery was taken from.
camping WHISPERING PINES 15 minutes north of La Crosse, on Hwy 53 925 Dana Ln. Holmen, WI 608-526-2152 NESHONOC LAKESIDE CAMP RESORT N5334 Neshonoc Rd. West Salem, WI 608-786-1792 PETTIBONE PARK RESORT 333 Park Plaza Dr. La Crosse, WI 608-782-5858 GREAT RIVER BLUFFS STATE PARK 43605 Kipp Drive Winona, MN 507-643-6849 BEAVER CREEK VALLEY 15954 County 1 Caledonia, MN 507-724-2107 JOHN A. LATSCH PARK From Winona go approximately 12 miles northwest on U.S. Highway 61. (507-643-6849
performances ICE MAIDENS
Commonweal Theatre 208 Parkway Avenue North Lanesboro, MN 800-657-7025 www.commonwealtheatre.org October 30 through November 16 Tickets $25 | (800) 657-7025 All shows feature a talk-back with the cast and playwright. An estranged daughter returns to her Minnesota hometown to find that the shadow of a family tragedy still hangs heavy over the household. HANDLING GRACE
Pump House, La Crosse November 14 - 15 Written by La Crosse playwright, actor and directory Ryan Stotts, it is set in 1956, Metalious, a housewife fom New Hampshire, publishes a novel that rocks the world: "Peyton Place". The scandalous story is banned in Canada, could not be sold to minors, and blew the lid off the seemingly placid surface of small town America and made its author rich and famous. $12 in advance or $15 the day of the show.
upcoming events upcoming events LA CROSSE SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA: FRIENDS FROM NEAR AND FAR
November 14 and 15 7:30 p.m. w/6:45 p.m Concert Preview & 9:30 p.m. Reception Maestro Eduardo Alvarez will work with our own fantastic LSO principal flute player, Margaret Rowland, in the Arnold “Concerto for Flute and Strings, Opus 45. He’ll also bring music with the fire and romance of Mexico! DOWNTOWN LA CROSSE HOLIDAY OPEN HOUSE
November 14 608-784-0440 historicdowntownlacrosse.com 5:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. Special sales and refreshments at many downtown businesses! Featuring trolley rides and gift wrapping! INDOOR FARMERS' MARKET
November 15 Viroqua Public Market/ Main Street Station 8:00 a.m. There's Amish goods produce, pastries, pies, crafts and more! HARMONIOUS WAIL IN CONCERT
November 15 Greenman Music Hall Viroqua, Wis. 7:30 p.m. $12 admission Workshop for voice, mandolin, guitar, bass offered at 2:30 p.m. The Wail play gypsy swing style, as well as jazz of other styles, on bass, guitar, ukulele, mandolin, and the oddest assortment of percussion you've ever seen. Even more than by its unique instrumentation, the group is distinguished by the jawdropping vocals of Maggie DelaneyPotthoff. RAILROAD JOURNEYS IN SCOTLAND WITH AL GUBERUD
November 16 Norskedalen’s Thrune Visitor’s Center. 3 miles north of Coon Valley on La Crosse County Highway PI The journey will begin on the East Coast Mainland and go directly into Edinburg's magnificent station flanked by beautiful green spaces and the ornate British Hotel.You'll travel through Scotland's fabled countryside and here your train will be dwarfed along side colossal emerald-greenhills. On your journey you will also see urban and rural
...stations meticulously restored or preserved. Your final journey will take you from Glasgow's Central Station to the Coastal city of Ayr. Regular Admission Rates Apply Velkommen til Norskedalen!!! HOLIDAY FAIR
November 20 - 23 La Crosse Center 608-789-7400 Huge craft show! COMMUNITY THANKSGIVING DINNER
November 27 La Crosse Center 608-789-7400 for more information. To volunteer to help, call 608-7824483. For a delivery of the dinner to your home, call 608-782-1411. HOLIDAY ART FAIR AND WINE TASTING
November 22 Trempealeau Hotel 11 a.m. - 3 p.m. Featuring local and organic wines, fine cheeses, the Trempealeau Hotel’s amazing cuisine, AND fine arts and crafts... what more can you ask for in an afternoon? HOLIDAY DISPLAY: "STORYBOOK CHRISTMAS"
November 28 Swarthout Museum 112 South Ninth St., La Crosse 1 p.m. - 5 p.m. Classic children's stories with antique and vintage toys from years gone by. Refreshments will be served. Admission is free and open to the public. For more information, please call the Historical Society at 608-782-1980. ROTARY LIGHTS
December 1 - 31 Riverside Park Over TWO MILLION lights illuminate Riverside Park. Live reindeer in Santa Village December 1-23. Live Nativity Scene each weekend before Dec 25. Open daily 5-10pm, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day 5-9pm, and New Year`s Eve 5pm-1am. THE OLD SCHOOL VARIETY SHOW
December 4 - 6 Pump House, La Crosse www.thepumphouse.org Presenting the "Holiday Show", recreating the experience of entertainment in the days before radio and television. $12 in advance or $15 on the day of the show..
Trying to get the word out about your event? It's simple! Second Supper vol. 8, issue 140
Email email@example.com and receive a free listing.
Future Sons by Noah Singer
the top of my head, I would pick Kim Kardashian as Cindy. The other characters I haven’t given any thought to. SS: You have the final book in the trilogy on the way, as well as an unrelated fourth book. How far along are they? What can we expect from these books? AS: The finale in the trilogy (Moral Executioners) is going to deal quite a bit with the concept of the law versus true justice. Mike’s go it alone, get the bad guys at all costs consequences be damned mentality is going to be at the forefront of his character. Mike is going to find himself being recruited by a group of out of control vigilantes. In the process of trying to bring the group to justice, Mike’s actions in the previous two books will be called into question and will be an internal battle for Mike as he examines his own actions when compared to those of the vigilantes. One thing I can promise and tease you with a bit is the climax in Moral Executioners will have you on the edge of your seat and will be a tense, heart stopping, white-knuckle read. If you are not holding your breath and gripping the book tight you might want to check your pulse to make sure you are alive (laughs). Moral Executioners is done but it’s only in its second draft. It should be out by September or October of 2009. I still have about a chapter and a half to go on the rough draft of Time Ninja. I hope to get that book out by October of 2010 but that is going to be tricky because that book is getting extremely long, about 700 pages or more.The book as a whole can be described as a science fiction, action/ adventure, ninja epic. People love the character development in my books and Time Ninja will be an intense character study and every character in the book who lives to the end will be forever changed. Of course my patented plot twists, sex scenes and over the top action sequences that my fans come to expect are present and I even threw in some Shakespearian Tragedy for good measure. Time Ninja will be an epic to watch for and I hope fans finish it and turn it right back to page one to start all over again just to experience it all over again from the start. I have some ideas for a collection of short stories in the Horror genre. I have a spin-off or sequel to Time Ninja in mind.And I even have a book idea that would appeal to kids from 12 to 17 years of age. I am NOT committing to any of these books though at this time.
November 13, 2008
COMMUNITY SERVICE [ Area food & drink specials ] LA CROSSE All Star Lanes 4735 4735 Mormon Mormon Coulee Coulee
33 games games for for $5 $5 starts at 8 starts at 8 p.m. p.m.
33 games games for for $5 $5 starts at 8 starts at 8 p.m. p.m.
$7 four cans special 8 bucket p.m. - close beer pong
Alumni House Animal 620 Gillette st.
Beer Pong $7.00 4 Cans 8-close $1.00 Domestic Silos
W5715 Bliss st. rd. 620 Gillette
110 3rd st.
Barrel Inn Beef & ave. Etc. 2005 West
1203 La Crosse st.
Beef & Etc. Barrel Innst. 1203 La Crosse 2005 West ave.
Big Al’s Brothers 115 S 3rd st. 306 Pearl st.
Brothers Bruisers 306 Pearl st. 620 Cass st.
The The Cavalier Cavalier 114 5th ave.
$2.50 Jack Daniel Mixers $2.00 Goldschlager
2 for 1 cans &
Italian beef w/dog bottles meal: $6.69during Packer games Pizza Puff meal: $4.49
417 Jay st.
CheapShots Chuck’s 318 Pearl st. 1101 La Crosse st.
Chuck’s Joe’s Coconut 1101Pearl La Crosse st. 223 st.
Bud Night 6 - CL: $1.75 bottles $5 pitchers
16oz top sirloin $7 22oz tbone 9.75 sutffed sirloin 8 jack daniels tipsTaps 8 $1 shots of $1 Domestic Doctor, cherry doctor - 8-cl $2 Craft Import Taps Happy $1.75 cans, $2 $2.50 hour Vodka4-6Mixers mix drinks
$1 Shot Menu
1/4 barrel meatball sandwich giveaway meal: $6.69 8-11 $1 burgers 2 Chicago dogs meal:
$5.89 meatball sandwich Burgers 2 for 1 bottles and cans meal:Buck $6.15 1/4 Barrel during the game 2 dogs meal:giveaway $ 5.25 2.25 for mini pitcher
free pitcher of beer or soda with large closed pizza
during Monday night football
meat or marinara spaghetti: $3.45 $2.50 Italian sausage: $4.95 Blatz vs. Old Style pitchers
$1closed off apps Happy Hour All Day
Kids Eat$2.50 Free With Blatz vs. Old Style Adult pitchers $3.00 Long Islands Martini Ladies' Night Martini Madness James Martini: vodka, triple $2 off all martinis
114 5th ave.
CheapShots Chances R 318 Pearl st.
5-8 p.m. 16oz Sirloin $7, Blue Cheese Stuffed Sirloin $8, Jack Daniels Tips $8, 22oz T Bone $9.75, $1 shots doc and cherry doc 8 p.m. - close
sec, orange juice
712- CL - 7: $1 domestic 12 oz 2-4-1 rails $2 Stoli mixers
$2.50 beers 7 - CL
$3.00 Domestic Pitchers, $1 domestic 12 oz $2.00 Shots of Cuervo, $2 StoliGoldschlager mixers Rumpleminz,
closed $3 Pitchers 1.75 Rails
Tuesday Wednesday Thursday 33 games games for for $5 $5 starts at 7 starts at 7 p.m. p.m.
Import Import night night starts starts at at 77 p.m. p.m.
Cosmic Cosmic Bowl Bowl & & Karaoke starts Karaoke starts at at 99 p.m. p.m.
Cosmic Cosmic Bowl Bowl starts starts at at 99 p.m. p.m.
11 a.m. - 9 p.m. hard or soft shell tacos $1
5-8 p.m. BBQ coun6 - CL try style ribs $5, $2.50 Sparks euchre tourney 7:30
11 a.m. - 9 p.m. AUCE Wings $5, Bingo $2 Silos BOGO $1 cherry bombs
5-83-7 p.m. fishhappy dinnerhour $5.25
2-8 p.m. AUCE wings $5
$1 softshell tacos Happy Hour 4 p.m. - 9 p.m. M-FAUCE wings $5.00 $5 bbq ribs and free crazy bingo $1 Domestic Silos fries buySee one $2.50 Premium Silos ourcherry Ad for allbomb of $2.50 Three Olive Mixers the for great$1 deals get one
$2.50 Select imports/craft $1 shots of doctor, Beers cherry doctor $2.50 Top shelf Mixers $2 Mich Golden bottles
3 p.m. - midnight
grilled$6.00 chicken sandwich meal: $5.29 AUCD
Italian beefnight meal: bucket $6.69 6 for $9 Chicago chili dog: $3.89 beef meal: Italian $6.15 Bucket Night beers Chicago chili6dog: $3.45 for $9
hamburger or 25 cent hot wings cheeseburger meal: $3.89 $1 shots of Dr. Italian Beef w/dog hamburger meal: $7.89meal: $3.69 cheeseburger meal: 25 cent wings Dollar $3.89 shots of Doctor
Polish sausage meal: $4.49 chicken sandgrilled wich meal: $5.29 Polish AUCDsausage Taps andmeal: Rails $3.99 8-1 $6
soup or salad bar $1.25 make your own $2.25 burgers, $2.60 FREE with entree or 3 - 8cheeseburgers, p.m. 1/2 off anything that pours tacos, $4.75 taco salad $2 off $1.50 U-Call-Its $2 10 cent wings - CL) sandwich untilBuster 3 p.m. $2.25 margaritas, large pizza, $1(9fries $3.50 Price $1.25 High Life bottles Football ($3.95 by itself) offFantasy large taco pizzaStat with any pizza Wristband & Wristband $1.50 rail mixers
HAPPY HOUR 3 PM - 8 PM
Thirsty - $1 Mexi-Night Tuesday Soft Shell Tacos $2.50 Margaritas
10 cent wings (9 - CL) $12-4-1 High Life bottles Burgers $1.50Light rail mixers Kul Pitchers $2 Guinness pints
Wristband Rib Nite Night Beer Pong @10 p.m.
$1 Dr. 6- shots 8 $3 $1.50 Jager Bombs taps
6closed - 8 p.m. $1.50 rails/domestics
7 - midnight 7 - CL 7- CL: 3- CL: Ladies: 2 for 1 Tequila’s chips & salsa, Margarita Monday 2 Beers, 1 topping pizza Guys: $1.50 Coors $2 Coronas, $2.50 $2.50 $11 and Kul Light bottles Mike’s, Mike-arita (rocks only)
$1.25 beers & rails
$.50 Ladies: domestic2taps, for$11 microbrews, $3 domestic Guys: $1.50 Coors pitchers, $6 microbrew and Kul Light bottles pitchers
$2 Malibu $2.00 Cruzan madness Rum Mixers, $2.50$2 Jameson Shots, $3.00 pineapple Mixers
$1 rail mixers $3.00 Patron Shots $2 Bacardi mixers
FiestaHollow Mexicana Fox 5200 Mormon Coulee
chicken & veggie fajitasown Build your for Mary two Bloody 16oz Mug - $4.00
football night domestic beer:Pizza $1.50 Homemade Mexican beer: $2.00 & PItcher of Beer
HAPPY HOURshrimp EVERYDAY 3 - 6 chili chicken burrito verde primavera $1.25 Bucket of Domestic 25 Cent Wings BURGERS Cans 5 for $9.00
Build your own Bloody Mary 16oz Mug - $4.00
Homemade Pizza & PItcher of Beer $9.00 $5.99 $5.99 gyro gyro fries fries & & soda soda
1908 Campbell rd.
Huck Finn’s Howie's
127 dr. st. 1128Marina La Crosse
9-clNBC Mary night. (Night Bloody Before Class) $3 pitchspecials ers of the beast - 2 4-9 p.m. Happy10 Hour
Football Sunday $1.75 domestic JB’s Speakeasy 11-7 happy hour, free The Helm bottles 717 Rose st. food, $1.50 bloody, 1/2
108 3rd st price pitchers DTB Second Supper vol. 8, issue 140
$1 Bazooka Joes
$3.00 Captain mixers/ mojitos Fish Fry $2 Cherry Bombs $1 Bazooka Joes
$1 Bazooka Joes
$3.00 Bacardi mixers/ mojitos $3 bloodys $2 Cherry Bombs $1 Bazooka 'til Joes noon
50 cent taps 4 - 7 (increases 50 cents per Great drinks! hour) $1 rails
10 - CL: $1.50 rails Hour 12 - 7
$2.00 Captain Mixers
Happy Hour 12 - 7 cents off most items
$2.00 Malibu, $2.50 Jaeger, $3.00 Jaeger Bombs
chicken Topless primavera Tuesday
Gracie’s Gracie’s 1908 Campbell rd.
$1.50 $6.75 bloody marys $3 Three Olivesdinner mixers/ mojitos $3 Bacardi mixers/ mojitos shrimp 11 a.m. - 4 p.m $2 Cherry bombs $2 Cherry bombs
WING NIGHT-$1.25/LB $2 Tuesdays, including Wristband All day Everyday: $1 Doctor $2 Silos. M-F: Happy HourBBQ, 2-6PLAIN $.50 off everything but the daily special$2.50 JUMBO CAPTAIN AND BUFFALO, SMOKEY buy one get one Domestic $2 bottles, import taps, $1.00 PABST AND PABST LIGHT Night After Class $3 beerMIXERS ('til 6 p.m.) Ladies' Nite out 1.50 Raill $.50 pong, taps Domestic 3.00 BOTTLES$1.50 ROLLING ROCK RING TOSS NIGHT beer apps, single FLAVORED BACARDI Guys'closed Nite out 1.50 silos $5 COLLEGE I.D. Pitchers $1.75 Rails Holmen Meat Locker Jerky BOTTLES mixers/ $2.50 X bombs pitchers shot mixers, featured 3 Rings for $1 $2.25 BUD LIGHTS $1.00 SHOT $3.00 JAGER BOMBS Raffle $9 general public shots, and 50 cent taps OF THENIGHT-$1.25/LB WEEK WING $2 Tuesdays, including Wristband BUFFALO, SMOKEY BBQ, PLAIN $1 Ladies Night $2 bottles, import taps, $1.00 PABST AND PABST LIGHT Topless $2.50 JUMBO CAPTAIN AND Karaoke live DJ Night buy one, get one free Kul Light Karaoke BOTTLES$1.50 ROLLING ROCK closed beer pong, apps, single Tuesday $1 shot specials $1 shot specials $5 COLLEGE I.D. FLAVORED BACARDI MIXERS BOTTLES wear a bikini, drink free shot mixers, featured cans $2.25 BUD LIGHTS $1.00 SHOT $9 general public $3.00 JAGER BOMBS shots, and 50 cent taps OF THE WEEK
football $1 night domestic Kul beer: Light $1.50 Mexicancans beer: $2.00
N3287 County rd. OA 1904 Campbell
beers & rails 7 -$1.00 midnight 7 - midnight 7 - CL All day, everyday: Shots of Doctor, $2.00 Cherry Bombs, $1.75 Silos of Busch Light/Coors 7 - midnight Happy
Tequila’s chips & salsa, Mexican Monday $2.00 Corona, $2 Coronas, $2.50 Corona Light, Cuervo Mike’s, Mike-arita
$2.50 X-Rated Mixers $2 Captain Mixers $2 Premium Grain Belt $2 Snake Bites
pepper & egg sandwich Italian beef meal: domestic pitchers $6.69 meal: $5.00 barrel parties2 Chicago at cost dog meal: Italian sausage meal: pepper & egg sandwich $5.89 $6.69 Italian beef meal: meal: $4.50, fish $6.15 sandwich meal: $4.99, 2 Chicago dog meal: $4.50 domestic pitchers Pitcher and Pizza $10 Italian sausage meal: $3.45 $6.15
7 - midnight 7- CL: $2 Malibu madness Guys' Night $2 pineapple $1.25 upsidedown cake
7 - midnight 7- CL: $1 rail mixers Ladies' Night $2 Bacardi mixers
chicken$4 & veggie full fajitas pint Irish for Bomb two Car
Fox Hollow Goal Post
for 1 $5 All 2Mojitos taps
Fiesta Dan’s Mexicana Place
N3287 County OA
batterfried cod, fries, $2.50 Bomb Shots beans, and garlic bread $2.50 Ketel One Mixers $5.50 $2 Retro Beers "Your
HAPPY HOUR 4 - 7
$4 full pint Irish closed Car Bomb
5200 Mormon Coulee 411 3rd st.
Buck Buck Night Night starts starts at at 66 p.m. p.m.
Coconut Joe’s Dan’s Place 223 3rd Pearlst.st. 411
9-cl$3.50 Domestic pitchers $1.75 domestic bottles
shrimp Ladies Night buy one, get one free burrito wear a bikini, drink free
chili Karaoke verde $1 shot specials
Asklive server DJ for details $1 shot specials Ask server for details
HAPPY HOUR EVERYDAY 3 - 6
HAPPY HOUR 6 AM - 9 AM
$1.25 beer pong 6 p.m. $8.95 16 oz steak BURGERS
free wings 6 p.m. - 9 p.m.
Bucket of Domestic Cans 5 for $9.00
25 CentHOUR Wings HAPPY
Buy Buy one one gyro gyro get get one one half half price price
free free baklava, baklava, ice ice cream cream or or sundae sundae with with meal meal
$1.25 $1.25 domestic domestic taps taps buy buy one one burger burger get get one one half half price price
HAPPY HOUR 9-cl- $1 rails, $2.50 pitchers, Beer Pong All day (everyday!) $1.75 domesticspecials $1.25 Old Style Light bottles $1.50 LAX Lager/Light $1 shots of Dr.
HAPPY HOUR 3 - 8 $8.95 16 oz. steak $8.95 1/2 lb. fish platter
5 p.m. - 10 p.m.
EVERYDAY 3 -7 9-cl and$1.25 9 - 11 rails, $1.75 bottles/cans
GREEK GREEK ALL ALL DAY DAY buy buy one one appetizer appetizer appetizer half price appetizer half price get one half price get one half price with meal with meal 9-cl -$2 captain mixers, $2 bottles/cans, $3 jager bombs
9-cl $2 bacardi mixers, $2 domestic pints, $1.50 shots blackberry brandy
HAPPY HOUR2-CL 5-7 Thirsty Thursday 3 12 oz. dom. taps $2 $1 vodka drinks $1 12 oz taps
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday & drink specials ] COMMUNITY SERVICE [ Area food
LA CROSSE Jai's Bar 168 Rose st.
JB’s Speakeasy 717 Rose st.
The Joint 324 Jay st.
Happy Hour 11 a.m. - 7 p.m. everyday. $1.50 rails & domestics
$3 bloodys $1 priced-to-move bottles
$1.75 domestic bottles
$1.75 domestic bottles
1/2 off Pearl Street pitchers during Packer game
4 - 8 p.m. Bacardi $3 doubles/pints
223 Pearl st.
The Library 123 3rd st.
$2 Guinness all day
come in and find out ... you’ll be glad you did
Ladies' night 7-CL buy one, get one rails and dom. bottles
$1.75 domestic bottles
$2 Boddington's English Pub Ale ALL DAY
50 cents off all drinks 7-CL
$1.00 off all Irish shots $2.50 pints of Guinness $3.00 imperial pints
every day $1 shots of Doc
$1 taps $1 rails 1/2 price Tequila
All your fav drinks at low prices
HAPPY HOUR 5 - 7
4 - 8 p.m. domestic bottles/rails $1.75
$2 Irish Car Bombs (go out the Irish way) 7-CL
4 - 8 p.m. domestic bottles/rails $1.75
WING NIGHT $2 SVEDKA MIXERS $2.50 JACK MIXERS $2.25 BUD LIGHTS $2 SHOTS OF ALL DOCTOR FLAVORS
AFTER COMEDY: PINT NIGHT $1 PINTS OF RAILS MIXERS AND DOMESTIC TAPS $2 PINTS OF CALL MIXERS AND IMPORT TAPS $3 PINTS OF TOP SHELF MIXERS
KARAOKE $2 double rails, $3 double calls, $2 ALL bottles
Wristband Night and Beer Pong Tourney
5 - 7 p.m. 2-4-1 happy hour
$2 SHOTS OF GOLDSCHLAGER $5 DOUBLE VODKA ENERGY DRINK $3 Bacardi mixers $3 jumbo Long Islands
$3 Three Olives mixers $3 jumbo Long Islands
HAPPY HOUR 3 - 6
3264 George st.
Price by Dice
214 Main St
In John's Bar 109 3rd st. N
Ringside 223 Pearl st.
Chef specials daily Mighty Meatball sub $6
open 11 - 6
3119 State rd.
breakfast buffet $9.95 10 a.m. - 2 p.m.
$1 Shot Night
120 S 3rd st.
Sports Nut 801 Rose st.
Tailgators 1019 S 10th st.
Top Shots 137 S 4th st.
Yesterdays 317 Pearl st.
Crescent Inn 444 Chestnut st.
WINONA Brothers 129 W 3rd st.
Godfather’s 30 Walnut st. 21
2 for 1 Happy Hour ALL NIGHT LONG
happy hour all day
Karaoke @ 10 p.m. 2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 - 10 AUCD Rail mixers @ 10 p.m.
Karaoke @ 10 p.m. 2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 - 10 $1 Pabst cans, Dr. shots @ 10 p.m.
chicken parmesan sub $6
Italian sandwich w/banana peppers and parmesan &6
open 11 - 6
2-4-1 Happy Hour 3 - 9 Best Damned DJ'S @ 10 p.m.
2-4-1 Happy Hour 3 - 8 Best Damned DJ'S @ 10 p.m.
Chicken salad on rye w/ lettuce, tomato, onion $5 $6.99 FISH SANDWICH FOR LUNCH, $7.99 FISH SANDWICH FOR DINNER, $9.99 ALL YOU CAN EAT FISH FRY ALL DAY
happy hour all day long! $1.00 OFF WILD WINGS, $1.00 PHILLY STEAK AND CHEESE.
LUNCH BUFFET $6.45 LUNCH SPECIALS CHANGE DAILY Ask Nicely See What Happens
Tie Tuesday Great Prices For Sharp Dressers
$4 domestic pitchers
$1 Rails, $1.50 Pint Taps, $3 Long Island Pints 15 cent wings
$2.50 Bacardi Mixers, $3 Long Island Pints 12 oz. T-Bone $8.99
HAPPY HOUR 10 AM - 12, 4 PM - 6 PM $2 Bacardi mixers
$2 Spotted Cow & DT Brown pints
$1.50 Bud/Miller Lite/ PBR taps all day $1.75 rails 10 - 1
$2 domestic bottles 7 - 12, $2.50 Skyy/ Absolute mixers 10-1 $2 Dr. drinks
$1 Point special bottles
$2.50 pints Bass & Guinness
$1.75 domestic bottles
$2.25 Pearl st. pints $1.50 PBR bottles
$2 Rolling Rocks $2 domestic beer
8 - CL $1.50 rails $1.75 Bud cans
$1 shots of Dr. $2.50 Polish
Southwest chicken pita $5
HAPPY HOUR 4 PM - 7 PM cheeseburger HOOP DAY!! MAKE YOUR SHOT AND YOUR ENTRÉE IS FREE!
$1.75 light taps and Dr. shots
Fiesta Night 7 - 12 $2 tequila shots $2.50 margaritas
2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 - 10 $2 Capt. mixers $1.75 domestic beer, $1.50 Rails, $1 Pabst cans @ 10 p.m.
$1 domestic taps $3 Jager Bombs
Bucket Night 5 for $9 5 domestic bottles for $10, $2 Bacardi mixers, $1.50 rail vodka mixers 10 -1
2 for 1 anything 9 p.m. - close Fantasy Football stat party!
family buffet 5 -8 kids under 10 pay .45 cents per year of age
any jumbo, large, or large 1 topping pizza medium pizza up to 5 $9.99 toppings: $11.99 (get 2nd large for $5)
10 cent wings, $3 filled mug ($1 tap refills, $2 rail refills) $1 High Life bottles/kamikaze shots
$1 Dr. shots $3 16 oz Captain mixers
$2 Long Islands, PBR bottles, Captain mixers
15 cent wings
$1 Dr. shots $3 16 oz Captain mixers
$2.75 deluxe Bloodys ‘til 7, $5 lite pitchers 7 - 12
$1.75 rails $1 PBR mugs
Thursday $1 O-Bombs/ Bazooka Joes, Wristband Night
Saturday $2.50 Captain $2.50 Jager Bombs & Polish
$2 u-call-it (except top shelf)
3 - 8pm 1.00 off anything that Pours
$1 martinis $2 mojitos $3 margaritas & Michelob Golden pitchers
Fish Fry $6.95
$2.50 Bacardi Mixers, $3 Long Island Pints
$2.50 Three Olives Vodkas $2 Cherry & Jäger Bombs
$2.50 Bacardi Drinks $2 Cherry & Jäger Bombs
November 13, 2008
Entertainment Directory 11/13 - 11/19
Thursday, November 13
Sunday, November 16
Kreekside Irene Keenan Jr.
Popcorn Tavern Som'n Jazz
Bluffland All ages Open Mic
Ringside Comedy Night Dan’s Place Live DJ
The Recovery Room Live DJ
Players 80's Night w/ Shuggypop Jackson
Nutbush Live DJ
Nutbush Live DJ Popcorn Tavern Sol Spectre
Tuesday, November 18
Alumni 10:00 Brownie's Open Jam
Wednesday, November 19
10:00 10:00 10:00
Saturday, November 15
Loon’s Comedy Night
Nighthawks Irene Keenan Jr.
Nighthawks Nick Moss & the Fliptops 10:00 Second Supper vol. 8, issue 140
The Rave/Eagles Ballroom
The Rave/Eagles Ballroom Sat., 11/15
Steel Train Dear and the Headlights Forgive Durden
The Rave/Eagles Ballroom
Mathew Haeffel Band
Bad Genie Rock Lounge
Totally 80’s Party SPONSERED BY:
Coconut’s Live DJ
Bluffland Zobin, Igloo Martians, Life as Number 5, the Whisper Committee Players 9:00 Karaoke Players Live DJ 10:00 Popcorn Tavern Brownie's Open Jam Nutbush Live DJ 10:00 Popcorn Tavern The Histronic
Popcorn Tavern Paulie
Friday, November 14 Players Live DJ
George St. Pub Adam Palm’s Open Jam
Nutbush 10:00 Live DJ
Popcorn Tavern The Hobo Nephews of Uncle Frank 10:00
Just A Roadie Away...
Monday, November 17
Popcorn Tavern Shawn's open jam w/ Up & Coming
Got a show? Let us know! We'll put it in, yo. firstname.lastname@example.org
THURSDAYs DJ'S SPINNING 80’S MUSIC New Wave, Punk, Hip Hop, Electro Funk
Awards for Best 80's Outfits
Drink Specials 21+ No Cover @ Players
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Downtown La crosse, above fayzes - 782-6622
Good People, Good Drinks, Good Times
What Do You Call 47 People Sitting Around a TV, Watching the Super Bowl? The Minnesota Vikings $2.00 - 1 Player, $3.00 - 2 Players 50 cents Off Drinks, $1 Off Pitchers
$1.75 - Light Taps $1.75 DR. Shots
$1.50 Bud/Miller Lite $2.00 Domestics 7-12pm & PBR Taps $2.50
Skyy/Abs. Mixers 10-1AM
$2.00 Dr. Drinks
$2.75 Deluxe Bloody Marys ‘til 7:00 PM $5.00 Light Pitchers 7:00PM - Midnight November 13, 2008
La Crosseâ€™s Largest Sports Bar
Pick The Pros Every Sunday With Miller Lite @ Ringside $5.00 Miller Buckets, $2.25 Bottles and Taps, $6.00 Pitchers
Waitresses and Servers Wanted, Please Apply Within
Friday November 14th
! t h g i N Stoli $3 Mixers Stoli Party Gear Up For Grabs
Show Starts At 10PM VIP Tables Available
M P 0 1 9 1 -42 k n i r D Ladies
223 Pearl St - Downtown La Crosse - 608-782-9192 CHECK OUT ALL OUR SPECIALS IN COMMUNITY SERVICE
Second Supper vol. 8, issue 140