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JANUARY 12 - 25, 2017

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A WORD FROM LARRY

Feel great this year

Master McGrath’s

I hope everyone had a great New Year’s! Let’s talk New Year’s resolutions. This month, the Seacoast Scene will offer two issues featuring stories about looking Larry Marsolais good and feeling great. In this issue you’ll find all kinds of tips to help you get stronger than ever, with advice from local pros on everything from running to strength training to Zumba. The next issue, coming out Jan. 26, will be all about the food side of things, with advice on how to upgrade your diet. While we are all trying to get through

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Advertising Staff Larry Marsolais Seacoast Scene General Manager 603-935-5096 larry@seacoastscene.net Chris Karas 603-969-3032 chris@seacoastscene.net

Editorial Staff Editor Meghan Siegler editor@seacoastscene.net

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Larry Marsolais is the general manager of the Seacoast Scene and the former president of the Hampton Rotary Club.

VOL 42 NO 1

Friday Night Special Fried Clam Plate Saturday Night Prime Rib Special

• • • • • • •

the next few weeks of this cold winter, why not stop in and visit one of our advertisers? There are quite a few options to choose from. It’s also time to start thinking about taxes, and we have a couple of new advertisers in this issue to help you with that. No matter who you visit, please let them know you saw them in the Seacoast Scene. Enjoy this issue! Spring is less than 10 weeks away… I enjoy your emails and comments, so please continue to send them in. Feel free to call me anytime at 603935-5096 to discuss local issues or to place an ad.

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COVER STORY

6 Strong in ‘17

MAPPED OUT

14 Beaches, restrooms, where to walk your dog and more

PEOPLE & PLACES

15 The coolest Seacoast dwellers and scenes

FOOD

20 Eateries and foodie events

POP CULTURE

24 Books, art, theater and classical

NITE LIFE

26 Music, comedy and more

BEACH BUM FUN

27 Puzzles, horoscopes and crazy news

Have an event or a story idea for the Seacoast Scene? Let us know at: news@seacoastscene.net

Your weekly guide to the coast. Published every Thursday (1st copy free; 2nd $1).

Unsolicited submissions are not accepted and will not be returned or acknowledged. Unsolicited submissions will be destroyed.

Seacoast Scene PO Box 961 Hampton NH 03843 603-935-5096 | www.seacoastscene.net


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January 12 - 25, 2017

Meet Scott Ruffner, founder of TVP Records, and find out what he’s doing to help build a grassroots art and music scene in Exeter on p. 15.

Will Schwalbe wants to talk books, and he’ll do so at the Music Hall Loft in Portsmouth on Jan. 19. Find out more about him and his Books for Living project on p. 24.

If you like to sew and want to do it for a good cause, head to the Lane Memorial Library in Hampton on Monday, Jan. 16 for Dress a Girl Around the World. See details on p. 24.

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Two weeks into 2017, how are those resolutions holding up? Whether you’re hitting all your goals or you’ve gone off the rails a bit, there’s no reason this year can’t be the year you’re going to get stronger and healthier than ever. With so many local options — gyms, clubs, classes — it would be hard not to find something you might actually enjoy doing to get fit (or at least find tolerable!). The Scene has a few ideas to help you with your fitness goals in this, Part 1 of our two-part Get Strong in ’17 series. Check out the Jan. 26 issue for Part 2, which will feature healthy nutrition ideas to energize your body all day long.

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If you want to join the growing ranks of runners on the Seacoast, Amy Spencer, certified running coach at No Finish Line Running in Dover, is all for it — but she urges caution for those who are eager to get started. “Most beginners make the mistake of going too far, too fast,” she said. “My advice to any new runner is to take it slow, both in volume and pace, and focus on

training slowly and properly rather than on distance and speed.” In properly gauging your speed, she cited a training strategy where you attempt to sing while out on the road or trail. If you cannot sing to yourself or maintain a conversation with a running partner, then you are going too fast. “It may feel a little silly to sing to yourself out on the roads, but the point is to train your body to consume oxygen efficiently in order to breathe comfortably when running,” she said. “A good rule of thumb is if you are gasping for breath or can’t speak easily in complete sentences, then you are going far too fast.” NFLR founder and certified running coach Mike Davis agrees. “A foundation for a good solid train-

ing program is training for time versus a certain distance. What this does is allow someone to progress at a rate that best suits his or her individual level without the stress of needing to go a certain distance,” he said. As for workouts someone might consider, Spencer suggests a program that includes hill training, strides and track workouts (when possible given the weather). “This variety in your workout routine ... will help with increasing your speed, build your muscles and develop your cardiovascular system,” she said. Whether you’re new to running or have been out on the roads or trails for years, Spencer said, it is also critical to not overlook the importance of rest. She said some

GET YOUR RUN ON Basic Running Tips Active runners often forget the basics, and so here are some tips from NFLR that can be followed by veterans and new runners alike. Warm up: Whether it’s a 5-minute walk, dynamic stretching, or some combination of the two, you should always warm up your muscles before hitting the road. Hydrate: Properly hydrating before and after each run (and during the run for longer distances) will make the difference between a good and a great run. Stretch it out: Stretching after a run is essential, especially if you want to avoid injury.

Running in the winter When it comes to winter running, the best advice is to be careful, according to NFLR Coach Spencer. “Check the conditions before heading out for a run, including not only the weather forecast but also the state of the roads and sidewalks in case you need your YakTrax,” she said. “Wear the appropriate gear for the temperature and elements—layering is always a good choice, too, especially during a long run, so you can add or remove clothing as necessary.” Other tips for winter running: • Be aware of your surroundings and poten-

tial hazards, as visibility is likely to be low and road conditions less than ideal due to snow, ice, frost heaves and potholes. • Make eye contact or wait for a cross signal before crossing the road since drivers may be distracted and less likely to see you in the dark. • Wear brightly colored running gear at all times (with a reflective vest, blinking lights and a headlamp a MUST if you are running at night). • If possible, run with a friend. • Slow down to avoid or decrease the likelihood of slipping.

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people are afraid of not running for various reasons, one of which includes the belief that rest days will undermine their strength and the work they’ve put into their running goals. “Some don’t want to rest if they don’t ‘feel tired’ and others are just simply addicted to the sport,” she said. The problem with running too much, according to Spencer, is that your body stops reaping the benefits of workouts when it does not get the opportunity to recuperate and relax. “I’ve seen many runners plateau in their training because they didn’t include enough rest in their schedule,” she added. “Unfortunately, I’ve also seen worse, too, with runners that end up with an injury that TRY A YOGA POSE

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Triangle pose This time of year, Desrosiers’ favorite pose is triangle pose. Describing it as “a wonderful combination of grounding and expansion, rooting and rising, lengthening and twisting,” she said it is also great for combating sedentary hours and boosting metabolism. How to do it: Begin with feet together, hands on your hips, and take a full, deep breath. Root down firmly with your left leg and take a big step to the right. Extend your arms out right to left parallel to the floor and position your feet directly underneath your wrists if possible. Turn your right foot out 90 degrees by pivoting on your heel and turn in your left toes in slightly. Powerfully straighten both legs and reach out to the right, placing your right hand on your right shin. Extend your left hand toward the ceiling. Rotate your left rib cage back in space and extend through the crown of your head. Gently turn your head to gaze at your left hand and breathe fully. Inhale to lift your shoulders back up over your hips and exhale while pivoting your feet to the other side. Repeat for the left side.

sidelines them for weeks or even months.” Spencer said she doesn’t like to provide a running schedule blindly to people, but her general advice for number of “rest days” would be three or four for the average runner. Rest does not, however, need to mean complete inactivity. “You can try a different activity, such as yoga, swimming, the elliptical machine at the gym, a bike ride or a walk,” she said.

Yoga

Yoga is another great activity from which people at any age and fitness level can derive tremendous health benefits. For those interested in getting started, certified yoga teacher Jennifer Desrosiers, who teaches at Soulfire Power Yoga in Greenland and leads workshops and retreats for Wild Adventurous Life, said the Seacoast is full of “many wonderful yoga studios,” each with its own unique style and community. She said many studios offer free first classes or introductory periods at a low price. “Don’t worry about buying the right mat or clothing,” she said. “Yoga studios have mats available for rent. Just bring a towel and a bottle of water and wear comfortable clothes in layers so you can adjust based on the temperature of the room.” As for her chosen style, Desrosiers noted she initially selected power yoga because it was a good workout. Very shortly thereafter, she said, she saw tangible benefits. “I noticed how it improved my mobility and strengthened my core, which greatly improved my performance as a runner, mountain biker and hiker,” she said. Regarding other physical benefits, she cited improved flexibility, alignment, and strengthening of critical stabilizing muscles used for balancing. She said gentle, dynamic yoga sequences work well before many types of other physical activities, which include strength training and run-


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ning, while longer, deeper stretches are perfect after workouts. Yoga can be good for the soul, too. “The physical aspect of doing poses — also known as asana — is just one aspect of yoga,” she said. “When translated, ‘yoga’ means union. It is not only union with a divine source, but also union with ourselves and all things living.” In diligently practicing yoga both on and off her mat, Desrosiers said, she has been able to develop a holistic awareness around the relationship of her mind, body and spirit. “Yoga has really allowed me to develop a positive relationship with my body, and that is so important, for women especially,” she said. “The physical asana practice has also provided me with a connection to my thought patterns.” For Desrosiers, yoga is critically valuable in promoting health and wellness in general, because it provides all practitioners with the opportunity to “get their mind fit,” which is often overlooked. “If you are not thinking healthy, posiSTRENGTH TRAINING TIPS

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While there is a wealth of information about strength training in books and on the Internet, it is difficult for many to figure out the best routine. For those with some experience around gyms, here are some tips from Bodywise that people can apply to their strength training. • Perform 8-10 exercises that train the major muscle groups. • Perform 8-12 repetitions of each exercise for 1-4 sets. Generally speaking, fewer total reps (fewer sets) until fatigue will put on bulk, while more total reps (higher sets) will help tone. • Perform your exercise program at least two times each week. Give yourself and your body time to recover. If you are just starting out or coming back from an illness or injury, take more rest.

tive thoughts about yourself, it is going to be very difficult to sustain any sort of prolonged physical activity — yoga or some other activity,” she said. “Being fit is a way of life and is a practice.”

Strength training

Whether you’re a runner or a yoga practitioner, strength training can provide tremendous benefits. “Strength training is so important for everyone,” said Pearla Phillips, owner of Fit Body Transformations in Brentwood. “It’s great not only for your muscles but bones as well.” Before getting started, however, she suggests choosing where you go to work out wisely. “Find a facility that screens you prior to joining,” she said. “You need a program that’s written for your appropriate ability and this is only after a personal assessment to know where you should start and if there needs to be some corrective exercises done first. … If you’re not assessing, you’re guessing.” Ryan Poplaski, physical therapist and owner of Bodywise in Epping, agreed and said that anyone between ages of 15 and 68 who has not recently been active should take the PAR-Q (Physical Active Readiness Questionnaire) test. “It is a simple seven-question survey designed to identify those [in] whom exercise may lead to injury,” he said. “If you are over 68 or answered yes to any of the PAR-Q questions, you should consult your doctor prior to starting a program.” Whether new to exercise or an expert, Poplaski said, anyone can benefit from the direction of a qualified certified personal trainer. He noted that such guidance would include helping an individual find the right level of exercise to start with, discover new and interesting exercises, and monitor or modify a particular program. “Most importantly, a personal trainer


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will be able to direct you safely and efficiently into a program that meets your needs,” he said. Phillips agrees and said trainers can also provide expert guidance in functional training. “They can guide you through movements to get you started, regardless of ability, that can ease you into moving,” she said. “Working out shouldn’t hurt. Discomfort, yes — but not pain.” She said the key for anyone with strength training is to have patience. “Don’t try to go from 0 to 100 in the first workout,” she added. “We’re looking for sustainability here.” For those with injuries or cardiac concerns, Poplaski said a physical therapist who has been specifically trained in exercise prescription can develop a challenging program that also improves an individual’s physical well-being without creating further impairment.

Pilates

A comprehensive workout that conditions your entire body, Pilates strengthens and tones thighs, abs and arms. At Body Barre Fitness in North Hampton, students are introduced to traditional exercises on the mat and through the use of machines, and also with a ballet barre. “It helps with stability while working through Pilates-based exercises,” said Certified Instructor Kristen Samson, who is also a former professional ballerina. Noting all types of Pilates exercise movements are typically small and easy on the joints, Samson said the goal is to create a balanced body. “You are working every part of your body for strength and flexibility — not one part is left out,” she said. Pilates with a barre or on a mat is not just for those with specific backgrounds either, according to Samson, who said she works with people from all walks of life and all

kinds of body types. “It’s great for any age,” she added. “We work with people who have never been to an exercise class, too. … The longer you do it, the more you learn about modifications. You can go slower and a class can be based around how flexible or inflexible you are at a specific point in time. You can go at your own pace.” For athletes, she said, Pilates can be effective at helping alleviate various issues, including lumbar pains, spinal issues and tight muscles. She said Pilates is effective for all body types because it uses an individual’s own body weight as resistance and focuses on developing the core, which she said helps to develop both balance and strength. “We work and fatigue the muscles and then strengthen and lengthen them,” she said. “I’ve seen it work with so many people and it’s so great to see that.” If there is one thing she would suggest for those interested in trying Pilates, Samson said it would be to arrive with a goal in mind. A goal could be an increase in overall flexibility, touching your toes, or avoiding an injury in another sport such as biking or running. “The takeaway is that Pilates is for everyone,” she said. “You don’t have to be flexible like a ballerina, an athlete or have a certain body type. Pilates is fun and it’s a world with an open door.”

High-intensity interval training (HIIT)

According to Poplaski, HIIT refers to repeated bouts of high-intensity exercise followed by recovery periods of lower intensity. Noting the amount of intensity and length of recovery periods will vary, he said a good routine will have a specific plan that will incorporate both components and match the activity for which you are training. “As an example, a football player who is

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active physically for only seconds at a time followed by longer resting periods should have a different program than the swimmer who is training for the 400-meter swim,” he said. “Think about what you would like to accomplish and have a program tailored to that.” He said the benefit of such a program is that you can maximize muscle-building and fat-burning within a shorter time frame. “Studies show 27 minutes of HIIT three times each week can be as effective as 60 minutes of cardio five times in a week,” he said Poplaski acknowledged, though, that HIIT is not for everyone, especially for those with “unstable cardiac concerns or a lingering injury.” “My recommendation is to start with a low to moderate exercise program for those who have not exercised before and move on from there,” he said. “The threshold of intensity for gaining the benefits of physical exercise is surprisingly low.” He cited research that shows a clear inverse relationship between activity and mortality risk. “There is also research that shows more exercise — up to a point — is better than less,” he added. “The bottom line is to get out there and move. It will be better than the alternative.” As for those who would like to begin a HIIT routine at home, Phillips suggests you first consult a trainer. “I would never send anyone home with a workout before assessing them,” she said. “That would be like calling my mechanic telling him I have fluid leaking and him telling me to add oil when I really needed brake fluid — and now, I have no brakes.”

Find what works for you

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According to health and fitness experts, there are many ways to get and stay fit, but there is no one-size-fits-all model. “Getting multiple opinions from different professionals in the health field is always a great idea,” said Poplaski. “I like to tell my patients that they are the CEO of their own body — and like any good CEO, they will get multiple opinions on a subject before making an educated decision. Ultimately, you are responsible for what happens to your body.” Davis agrees and said the key with any fitness program is to incorporate it into your lifestyle and everyday routine. For him, running and general health and wellness has nothing to do with a race to any kind of finish line. “I want people to love running, love working out, love everything they are doing to get healthy,” he said. “I want to hear from people 20 to 30 years later who tell me, ‘I love being healthy.’ If you don’t love what you are doing, you will eventually end up quitting.”

ZUMBA Developed during the 1990s, Zumba is a dance fitness program that incorporates everything from hip-hop and salsa music to soca and mambo. According to Zumba instructor Diana Post, who teaches classes at Works Family Health and Fitness Center and at Dover Recreation Department, you do not have to be a dancer to attend a session. “Anyone can modify their workout and come to class,” she said. “I have students with disabilities come to class, too — all are welcome.” Noting it is possible to get started at home through videos or games, Post said she advises those interested in trying Zumba to bring a friend with them to their first session. “You at least want to come with an understanding that all of us were new once,” she said. “Some students still start at home, but they have all reported to me that the group experience is a lot more fun.” As for what surprises people who are new to Zumba, Post cited the variety of music and dances taught in class. She said that one recent newcomer in one of her classes remarked to her, ‘“I’ve never seen people smiling and having fun while working out before.”’ In terms of a typical Zumba class, she said there is no such thing, although she acknowledged people can expect three basic things. “Students will sweat, move their bodies and have a great time,” she said.


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PEOPLE AND PLACES

GET TO KNOW SCOTT RUFFNER

FOUNDER OF TVP RECORDS BASED IN EXETER How long have you been a music producer? When did you start TVP? I started producing music right when I finished college in the mid ’90s. My parents asked me what I wanted for a graduation gift and I told them an Ensoniq ASR10, which back then was the premium keyboard/sampler/ sequencer. I think they Courtesy photo. were hoping I’d say, “A new business suit.” We released our first music as TVP Records in 1996, and I’ve been producing and releasing albums ever since. What is the biggest change in your industry since you first started? The affordability of computers has changed everything … recording, producing, promoting, and even collaborating. None of these things were accessible in the mid ’90s. I remember when we had our first website in 1997 and it was a big deal. What do you enjoy the most about producing music? The satisfaction of taking a simple idea and turning it into a finished piece that may or may not sound anything like you envisioned. I also really enjoy the collaborative aspect of writing songs with other musicians, knowing that the time was well spent and will be documented for years to come — even if it’s just by the people who created it. You are also a musician — what do you play? I’m a self-taught keyboard player, but my skills are very utilitarian. I write what I can play and I play what I can write, but I’m not going to take a solo. I don’t read music, and I’ve never had the desire to learn cover songs. I do know my theory and come up with nice chord progressions, lead lines and funky clav parts. Talk about the music scene on the Seacoast — how does it compare with larger markets? Boston and Portland, Maine, for instance? There’s so much talent here, but there’s unfortunately not much of an infrastructure to properly harness or cultivate it. There really aren’t many examples of

home-grown music-makers earning a living as viable artists. They have to relocate to Portland or Boston to have any chance at it. We’re trying to change that, though, with the new Arts Industry Alliance nonprofit. If we can keep more of our “arts” funding in the community and direct it more toward working artists and musicians instead of corporate entertainment nonprofits, changes could be made quickly. I’m hopeful that can happen. Talk about your other related ventures in music and the arts. We’re hoping that through nonprofit and community initiatives like Arts Industry Alliance and Town.Exeter.Arts.Music, or TEAM as I call it, that we’ll be able to cultivate an arts and music industry on the Seacoast that’s consistent with the “support local” movements in food and craft beer. There’s so much talent here, but people just don’t know it. How are things going with these ventures? We’ve been working really hard on building a grassroots art and music scene in Exeter. We’re right on the cusp of it really taking off, too, but we are now looking for support and funding from the community. We’ve proven over the last two years what can be done without a big capital campaign. Now, we want the chance to show what we can do with even a modest budget. I think people would be pleasantly surprised. You have a family with two kids. How difficult is it to balance everything out? Well, it’s pretty difficult prioritizing the final mix of a new song over picking up your kid at the bus stop or a real estate showing at work. You just have to find the time where you can and hope that when inspiration strikes that you have the chance to slip away for a little bit. Looking ahead, what is in store for Scott Ruffner, the musician and music producer? Just to keep doing what I’ve been doing, but maybe release music more frequently on a regular schedule. — Rob Levey

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PEOPLE AND PLACES

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AIDAN BECK FOURTH-GRADER AND ASPIRING SPORTS STAR For Aidan Beck, a fourth-grader at Adeline C. Marston Elementary School in Hampton, sports did not always come easy, according to his dad, Brian. “He was anxious and he was intimidated at first playing with kids he didn’t know,” said Brian, who introduced his son to sports through soccer, which he coached. Noting he did not push him, Brian said he instead just encouraged him to participate. His strategy worked. “One day, he said he wanted to go into a game — he went in and he never looked back,” Brian said. “It’s been great to see.” Aidan’s love of soccer and consequent success — he has since won several awards — has ignited a passion for many sports, including baseball and running. His interest in running has recently led him to enter several local 5Ks and win his age group in most of them. Recent races include the Yes I Can 5K and Turkey Trot, both in Dover. “It’s been fun — I‘ve been doing really good,” said Aidan, who also expressed a fondness for playing baseball. When asked to explain his success in the 5Ks, in which he has run as fast as 25 minutes, Aidan pointed to advice he got from his No. 1 fan. “My dad taught me not to run too fast and to pace myself,” he said. Aidan said his training has also helped him become a better soccer player. “My favorite part about soccer is passing the ball and learning tricks,” he said. Aside from sports, Aidan said he enjoys nearly every subject at school, including computer science, social studies, math, music and reading, to name a few. “I like going to school,” he said. Still, Aidan said his long-term goals in life are squarely focused on sports. He practices soccer for about three hours each week and said he would love to play professional soccer. “I might be able to make a lot of money,” he said with a grin. Expressing enthusiasm at his son’s athletic successes, Brian, an accomplished athlete himself who teaches tennis at Dover High School, said he is much more excited at the life lessons he believes his son is learning from sports. “I want him to be a great human being and a good person. Sports can help with

Aidan Beck with dad Brian. Courtesy photo.

that by teaching him how to communicate well with others and how to work with the team,” he said. He said he has already seen firsthand how sports have impacted his son’s emotional and social development. “He used to struggle with losing, but he has gotten a lot better with that,” he said. “I can also see him wanting to succeed at something, and that’s important, too.” As far as Brian is concerned, sports have provided his son with opportunities to build up his self-esteem, which he said is critical for anyone — especially kids. “Aidan is proud of himself and his accomplishments. He should be proud,” he said. “I just enjoy seeing him step outside his safety zone and the imaginary world that exists with technology and his game systems. … He is much more involved with other people and it’s great to see that as a parent.” For kids of any age who might be reticent to put themselves out there through sports, Aidan offered very simple advice. “Don’t be scared,” he said. “When you fall down, just get back up and believe. I’m happy I did.” — Rob Levey


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CAR TALK

Cold temps freeze auto locks on van Dear Car Talk: Our 2008 Hyundai Entourage van, which we purchased new, has always had electric door locks that will not function in cold weather. Not sure of the exact By Ray Magliozzi temperature, but once winter rolls around, we have to manually unlock the doors; we can’t open the locks with the remote. I took it to the dealer when this first occurred, and got some mumbojumbo but no solution. I should have been more persistent, but now it is too late. Other than buying warm gloves, do you have any suggestions? — David How ‘bout a heated garage? Actually, you’re lucky that you can’t open the doors, David. A lot of Entourage owners from the 2008 era complained that their sliding rear doors would open on their own — sometimes at highway speeds! I think Hyundai tried to convince those owners that was part of the “James Bond” package. As for your door locks, there are several possibilities. One is that the linkage itself is getting frozen. Moisture is always present inside the doors, since those cavities are not airtight. So that moisture could

be freezing the linkage that connects the “locking button” on the inside of your door to the lock mechanism itself. Is it difficult to unlock the car manually? Or do you see the locks “straining” to open when you press “unlock”? If so, that suggests that the problem is mechanical; perhaps a bound up or frozen linkage. In that case, you can have someone remove the inside door panels and spray the linkage with a desiccant, like WD-40. You can try it on one door first, to see if it helps. Another possibility is that the problem is electronic, and the signal to each door’s unlocking motor (solenoid) is not getting through. That could be because of a bad connection somewhere that opens up only in cold weather. We know that wires, like everything else, shrink when they get cold, right, David? If you don’t believe things shrink when they get cold, check the next time you go swimming in the ocean. So it could be a random wiring or connection problem, or there also could be something wrong with the body-control module, which is a computer that operates things like the power door locks. If absolutely nothing happens when you hit the “unlock” button, and you can

manually unlock the doors with no more effort than usual, that would suggest that something more central and electronic is causing the problem. If it’s mechanical, it’s probably worth trying to fix. If it’s electronic (and there were a number of issues with this vehicle’s electronics), you’ll have to decide if you’re willing to pay a mechanic to try to track it down. And then compare that expense to the cost of a heated garage. Good luck, David. Dear Car Talk: A buddy of mine just bought a new Lexus ES 350, and he ordered it with 19-inch wheels. Is there an advantage to having larger wheels on a car? — Wayne Well, most people think they look cooler. I think that’s the prime motivating factor. They do also improve handling. Generally speaking, the opening for the wheel-and-tire combination (the wheel well) is only so large. So when you use a larger wheel, you usually pair it with a tire that has a shorter sidewall. Tires with short sidewalls are called “low-profile” tires. And when you turn, those low-profile tires have less sidewall that can flex. That makes the car’s turning response a little sharper.

So if you have a car that’s not known for its sharp handling — like a Lexus ES 350, or a Lincoln Navigator — you can improve the handling a bit by getting larger wheels and having sidewalls that flex less. The downside is that those low-profile tires degrade your ride quality. All that extra sidewall, with its greater flexibility, helps soak up bumps and road imperfections, which softens your ride. So it’s a trade-off. Now, on a car that is designed to have a very soft ride, like the Lexus ES, you might have room to accept a slightly firmer ride in exchange for better handling. It’s likely the ride still will be pretty darned comfortable. But on cars that already have firm rides, you’d probably be better off going for the standard wheel size with the larger-sidewall tires. The other downside of tires with short sidewalls is that it’s easier for the tire and the wheel to get damaged by potholes or curb stones that you drive over. And if you think those optional 19-inch wheels were expensive when you bought the car, wait until you start having to replace them along with your 19-inch tires. Visit Cartalk.com.

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FOOD

Warm up with wine

WINTER WINE FESTIVAL EVENTS

Winter Wine Festival opens with Big Tasting If your spirits are falling along with January’s temperatures, the 12th annual Winter Wine Festival has all kinds of opportunities to infuse some cheer into the new year. On Friday, Jan. 20, the Wentworth by the Sea will open its 2017 festival with a Big Tasting in its Grand Ballroom. From 6 to 8:30 p.m., guests will be able to sample an eclectic variety of premium wines provided by Horizon Beverage and MS Walker. These New Hampshire native distributors will host 16 tasting stations for guests to enjoy old favorites or discover exotic novelties. Advanced sommelier Tom Gannon will be assisting with the tasting, acquainting guests with some of his superior-premium wines from the Spires Collection, including the Arcanum, il fauno di Arcanum and the Valadorna wines of Tuscany. To pair with the evening’s wine selections, the Wentworth’s expert staff at the Salt Kitchen and Bar will be offering an assortment of passed hors d’oeuvres. “The Big Tasting gives us an opportunity to prepare foods we normally wouldn’t make as a Mediterranean-style restaurant,” Executive Chef Ken Lingle said. “We enjoy working outside our comfort zone, so we’re excited to showcase our talents and expose guests to dishes that they wouldn’t normally see on a day-to-day basis.” Some of the main eats Lingle has planned for this year’s tasting include a Hawaiianinspired Poke bar, and a carving station featuring Bayonne, Prosciutto di Parma and

The Big Tasting 6-8:30 p.m. Friday, Jan. 20, and Friday, Feb. 17 Described as a “playground for food and wine lovers,” this event allows guests to sample a wide array of different wines and to try artisanal cheeses, dry-cured hams and other small plates prepared by SALT Kitchen & Bar. Food and drink will be accompanied by live jazz performed by the Chris Klaxton duo. Tickets are required for the Big Tasting and cost $49.95 per person plus tax and gratuity.

Serrano dry-cured hams. Artisanal cheeses, antipasto and other small plates will also be offered. “The Big Tasting will be unique to years prior because it will allow for an interactive experience with the hotel’s culinary team,” Lingle said. “We’ll be able to inform guests on how the food is prepared and advise them on which wines pair well with the different dishes.” Food and drink will be accompanied by live jazz at the tasting, performed by the Chris Klaxton Duo. The Big Tasting is only the commencement of the 2017 festival and will be followed by many other wine and spirits celebrations throughout January and February. “We’ve sold out every event for the past three years,” Wentworth Food and Beverage Director Dean Pratt said. “There really isn’t anything else like this around here. It’s been a continued success and we enjoy putting it on for the Seacoast area.” — Molly Brown

TASTING TIPS Wine columnist Stefanie Phillips has some suggestions for sipping safely at wine tastings. Stay hydrated. The day of the event, and even a couple days before, be sure to drink plenty of water. I sometimes find it difficult to drink water during the event, depending on the setup, so I try to prepare in advance. Eat before you go. I cannot stress this one

enough. While there is often food served, it isn’t a full meal. I eat a full, well-balanced dinner before larger wine tastings, so I can actually enjoy the wine and avoid having it go right to my head on an empty stomach. Be picky. I typically stick to either white or red and limit my sampling to wines I have not tried before, which also helps my stomach.

Flight Nights: an Escorted Tour of Wine 5-7 p.m. This event will be hosted in SALT Kitchen & Bar’s lounge. Every Monday through Thursday during January and February, the restaurant will be offering special flights of three wines, as well as discounted antipasto and small plate offerings. Jan. 23 - Jan. 26 Jan. 30 - Feb. 3 Feb. 6 - Feb. 9 Feb. 13 - Feb. 16 Feb. 20 - Feb. 23 To purchase tickets and to find out more information about the 2017 Winter Wine Festival, visit winterwinefestival.com.

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Shell-Shocked: An Oyster and Wine Celebration 5-10 p.m. Friday, Feb. 3, and Friday, Feb. 24 This event will be hosted in SALT Kitchen & Bar’s lounge. The restaurant will serve East Coast oysters prepared in a variety of ways, and a collection of sommelierselected wines to pair with your choice of shellfish. Oysters and wine will be served a la carte. No reservations or tickets are required for this event.

Bubbles & Jazz Sunday Brunch 10-2 p.m. This formal brunch is served in the hotel’s Grand Ballroom and features ice sculptures, live jazz, and high-scoring sparkling wines from around the world. Tickets are

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The Grand Vintner’s Dinners Reception 6:30 p.m., Dinner 7 p.m. This four-course dinner is served in the hotel’s Grand Ballroom. The dinner will be preluded by a meet and greet wine reception in honor of a special guest host. Tickets are required for the Grand Vintner’s Dinners and cost $104.95 per person plus tax and gratuity. Saturday, Jan. 21: Galerie Winery of California with Advanced Sommelier Tom Gannon Saturday, Jan. 27: Banfi Vintners of Tuscany, Italy with CEO Christina Mariani-May and SALT Sous Chef Emily Hill Saturday, Feb. 4: John Anthony Family of Wines, Napa, California, with winemaker Geoff Whitman Friday, Feb. 10: Billecart-Salmon Champagne with Winery Ambassador Clement Calleja Saturday, Feb. 11: Masterwines with owner Mel Master Saturday, Feb. 18: Kendall Jackson Family Wines, Sonoma, California, with Master Winemaker Randy Ullom Saturday, Feb. 25: Domaine Chandon & Newton Vineyard, Napa, California with Winery Ambassador Rich Buchanan

required for the Bubbles & Jazz Brunches and cost $49.95 per person plus service charge and tax. Jan. 22: Chloe Prosecco, Italy Jan. 29: Cantine de Maschio Processo, Italy & Rosa Regale, Italy Feb. 5: Mionetto Prosecco, Italy Feb. 12: Gruet Sparkling Wine, New Mexico Feb. 19: Sofia Sparkling, California by Francis Ford Coppola Feb. 26: Gramona Cava, Spain

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FOOD

AT 900 DEGREES If you’re looking for a date-night restaurant or a place to take your family, 900 Degrees Neapolitan Pizzeria (Brickyard Square, 24 Calef Hwy., Epping, N.H., 603-734-2809, 900 Degrees.com) is the place to be. Take your pick from a cozy booth, table or bar. Behind the bar is the huge wood-fired pizza oven. The menu boasts an assortment of gourmet-style pizzas, among other options. Seasonal beverages like the Winter Sangria Martini and the Maple Manhattan will warm you right up. And don’t forget to leave room for dessert. How long has 900 Degrees in Epping been open? We opened the Epping Store in October of 2013 — empty shell to turnkey was about four months. We really learned a lot the first time around in Manchester, and it helped us be much more efficient during construction. Live and learn. What do you think sets 900 Degrees apart from other dining options in the area? It’s all about the passion. The reason I created 900 Degrees was because I’m passionate about food and pizza. I felt at that time there were no good pizza choices in the Manchester area. I also wanted a pizza option where I could enjoy a fabulous glass of wine or a great draft beer with my pizza and not be sitting at a Formica table in a boring atmosphere. People who enjoy fine dining experiences also want to go out for pizza once in a while and don’t necessarily want to give up the quality of the atmosphere. Our product quality deserves a better atmosphere. … Our restaurant concept was developed utilizing the best environmentally favorable methods, another thing we’re passionate about, and utilizing [locally] sourced products whenever they’re available.

Which menu item is your personal favorite? That’s not a fair question [laughs] — I have many favorites. If I’m in the mood for a white sauce, I lean toward the Bella Cosa, a customer favorite, and for a red sauce I definitely go for the Margherita. A recent new favorite is the Granny Smith; my son Sam developed the recipe for this pizza, and it pairs well with a nice sauvignon blanc. When I’m there for something simple, like a cheese pizza, it’s a tough coin toss between the Quat-

tro Formaggio and our Americana. Those are my pizza favorites, but I have many other items I love. That’s what I try to have food — that I love and hope others will love it too. What is an essential skill that keeps 900 Degrees running smoothly? I don’t know that I would call it a skill, but is an old tried and true adage: keep it simple. I said from the beginning … I want to focus on pizza. I have other food choices, but I want pizza to be the focus, and I want to be the best at it. How would you describe 900 Degrees’ dining environment? We want our atmosphere to be a step up from your average pizza joint, either the mom-and-pop type or the chain restaurant type. It is more of a dining experience than those options, supporting the high-quality ingredient menu. If you could serve any celebrity or political figure, alive or dead, who would it be? Michael J Fox, definitely. When I was diagnosed with MS in ’95 the first words out of my mouth were “this is not going to be a problem for me.” Having said that, I was always on the lookout for positive inspirations. Michael J. Fox shared [that he was] diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease in 1988. What I couldn’t get enough of was his positive attitude. This is now his reality and

Photos by Ashlyn Daniel-Nuboer

he can’t change it, but he can contribute to trying to make a difference. That’s what he does on a daily basis. He’s written several books but my two favorites are Lucky Man and Always Looking Up. He wrote these after his diagnosis. With those positive titles who wouldn’t want to serve him dinner? What would you serve Michael J. Fox? Probably a Donatella, lots of vegetables. My guess is he eats pretty healthy. He might also prefer our gluten-free crust. I would also serve the house salad. I would finish the meal off with a light dessert such as a cannoli. How would you describe your crew of employees? They are a group of hard-working people. I feel they are all awesome. Our employees range from career restaurant people, teachers, college students, a second job for moms and dads, what’s not to love? It’s hard to be perfect all the time in the restaurant environment, but they try awfully hard, and I appreciate that. Can we expect any seasonal menu changes or specials? We always have seasonal and manager specials; part of the fun is changing it up on a whim if we choose. That’s the freedom and creative … advantage you have, being a non-corporate-driven restaurant. — Ashlyn Daniel-Nuboer

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DRINK

Beyond Champagne

Bubbly fun for after the holidays The new year is here, and while many people reserve Champagne and other sparkling wines for the holidays, they can be great accompaniments to meals or parties, and they can be used to make cocktails as well. If I am going to be making such cocktails at home, they have to be easy. And when I say easy, I mean five ingredients maximum — better still if I have most of the ingredients on hand already. There is nothing worse than buying a bottle of something and only using a little bit of it. Here are some simple alternatives to the plain old glass of bubbly.

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I typically think of mimosa (sparkling wine and orange juice) as a brunch drink, so it isn’t something I usually make or drink with an evening meal. However, there are some variations of this recipe that may be a bit more versatile. The poinsettia is cranberry juice and sparkling wine. I think you can also add Cointreau, or any orange liqueur. The Bellini is another option. The original recipe calls for peach puree or nectar and prosecco, but you can use whatever sparkling wine you want. I also came across a recipe on delish.com that used grapefruit Champagne Shirley Temple Recipe courtesy of Sugar & Soul This is like the drink we all used to enjoy as kids, but with an adult upgrade thanks to the addition of pink moscato or the sparkling wine of your choice. Crushed ice 8 ounces pink moscato sparkling wine (you Champagne Punch III Recipe courtesy of Allrecipes.com I wanted to include one recipe that could be served at a party for a larger group. This one includes sparkling wine, white wine and juice. It can be adjusted slightly to fit your taste. 12 ounces frozen cranberry juice concentrate 12 ounces frozen pink lemonade concentrate 12 ounces frozen limeade concentrate

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Fizzy Sorbet Cocktail Recipe courtesy of Delish

105133

This recipe is a drink and dessert in one. All you need is sorbet (grab your favorite flavors; sherbet would probably work as

juice instead of orange juice. Fruit wines may not seem like an obvious mixer, but I enjoy mixing them with sparkling wine or seltzer to make a wine spritzer. It is also important to remember that you need not buy expensive Champagne. Prosecco (Italian sparkling wine) and cava (Spanish sparkling wine) are two other great and affordable options. Here are a couple other easy wine cocktail recipes I was able to find. — Stefanie Phillips can also use any sparkling wine of your choice) Splash of grenadine Maraschino cherries & orange slices for garnish Fill glass half way with crushed ice and pour in sparkling wine. Add grenadine and garnish with orange slice and cherries. Serve with a straw. One bottle white wine, chilled One liter seltzer water, chilled 2 bottles Champagne or sparkling wine of your choice 1 lemon, sliced, for garnish ½ cup fresh mint, for garnish (optional) In a large punch bowl, combine the cranberry juice, pink lemonade, limeade, white wine, seltzer water and sparkling wine. Garnish with the lemons and mint when you’re ready to serve, if desired. You can also use any other garnish of your choice: oranges, cranberries, etc. well) and a bottle of sparkling wine. Place six martini glasses in the freezer for about 30 minutes so they are very cold. Fill each glass with five to six mini-scoops of sorbet and then top each with sparkling wine. Enjoy.


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Life’s short, go read a book Will Schwalbe on Books for Living To author Will Schwalbe, it’s not at all dramatic to say books can save lives. “When you read broadly, and when you discover that author or character who speaks to you or knows your thoughts, it’s like you’re not alone, and that’s an incredible thing to discover,” Schwalbe said via phone last week. “And that really saves lives.” Schwalbe has a whole list of titles that impacted his life — which is the premise of his most recent project, Books for Living. The book, published in late December by Knopf Publishing Group, contains 26 essays about 26 books that helped Schwalbe make sense of the world. The idea for it started during the tour for his 2012 memoir, The End of Your Life Book Club, which told of the books he and his mother read together while she was dying. At these events, he talked about the memoir, but often conversations gravitated toward general reading — he asked what attendees were reading and vice versa. “I started to see the way books changed their lives and helped them engage in life,” Schwalbe said. “I wanted to explain the phenomenon on why readers are so passionate about books.” Schwalbe began research by rereading 100 of the most memorable books he’s read, which helped him narrow the list down to 50. He wrote essays about each at his home bar, above which hangs a sign: Who cares? This helped him narrow the field to 26. “When I finished a chapter, that’s the Meet Will Schwalbe Where: The Music Hall Loft, 131 Congress St., Portsmouth When: Thursday, Jan. 19, at 7 p.m. Admission: $40, includes reserved seat, book copy, book signing meet-and-greet, bar beverage Contact: 436-2400, themusichall.org

question I asked myself. Sometimes I wrote a whole chapter and thought, ‘Not even I care!’ Even though this has a lot of memoir in it, I really tried to write about books that speak to readers in different ways. These are not my 26 favorite books. These are 26 books that I think teach powerful lessons,” he said. He talks about the book and some of those titles — which range from Stuart Little and The Odyssey to The Girl on the Train and What I Talk About When I Talk About Running — at The Music Hall Loft Thursday, Jan. 19, at 7 p.m. Schwalbe said he learned a lot rereading these books and remembering his experiences with them. “One thing I realized is that we’re not the same person when we read a book [a second time]. We’re not even the same person when we get to the end of a book. Funny little things would jump out at me,” he said. “Some of the books you read the first time don’t hit you until later.” For instance, what struck him the second time reading What I Talk About When I Talk About Running by Haruki Murakami was a paragraph about naps. When he reread The Little Prince, it reminded him of a friend who died in high school. Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh taught him the importance of recharging; he compares it to Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, except that it’s about your soul instead of your home. The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins has lessons about trust, he said. Readers will revel in a small taste of New Hampshire; some essays look back at Schwalbe’s time at St. Paul’s in Concord, which he attended as a teen. His chapter on The Odyssey by Homer offers a glimpse of one of his favorite teachers, Georg Tracy, who taught Greek, and his chapter on

Giovanni’s Room is about Miss Lock, the school librarian who used to leave him books on the library cart. Schwalbe’s day job is in book publishing, mostly cookbooks, but he typically devours one to two additional books a week for pleasure. He hopes Books for Living inspires people to think about their own reading lives and come up with their own lists — or better yet, just spend more time with a book in hand. “One of the big things in the book. … is to show how books can help reset our lives and priorities,” he said. “A lot of people are in this

habit of checking email the minute they wake up. If you check email the minute you wake up, why not just wake up an hour earlier, stay in bed and read a book for an hour, then check emails and get on with your day?” It’s different from doing something like running or writing first thing, he said. “It’s hard to go running. It’s hard to write. A lot of things are hard to do in the morning. But picking up a book you’re enjoying — that’s not something that’s hard. Life’s short. Why not start the day with something fun?” he said. — Kelly Sennott

SEW-A-THON Start your new year off by participating in a new Day of Service project at Lane Memorial Library. On Martin Luther King Jr. Day — Monday, Jan. 16 — from 9 a.m. to noon, the Lane Friends will be bringing Dress a Girl Around the World to the library. All sewers are invited to join in making dresses for girls who have never had a dress. This is a multi-country effort that has created simple, colorful, dignified dresses for over 450,000 girls in 82 countries, including many cities in the U.S. The dresses can build selfesteem and help to protect the girls from abuse. Jackie D e w e y, Southern Maine Ambassador for Dress a Girl, will lead the project and send the resulting dresses to places of need such as Guatemala, Senegal, Nicaragua, India, Malawi and Uganda. You do not need exceptional sewing skills; you just need to be able to stitch straight lines on your machine, and Dewey guides the group through the process. She will provide irons, ironing boards, cutting boards, rotary cutters, patterns, and some fabrics and trims. You are asked to bring the following: Sewing machine or serger Extension cord Scissors, pins, hand sewing needle for the buttons, thread Fabric that is about 45 inches wide and 18 or more inches long Extra-wide, double-folded bias tape to match your fabric Elastic 1/2 or 3/4 inch wide Embellishments including buttons, lace or rick rack The Lane Friends will provide snacks! Register by sending your name to Amanda Reynolds Cooper at acooper@hampton.lib.nh.us.

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Drew Lynch turns adversity into success Drew Lynch moved to Los Angeles chasing a lifelong dream to act. Work on Mad Men and with Disney greeted him, until a freak accident cut that short. A ground ball struck his throat during a softball game, leaving Lynch with a permanent stutter. His agent dropped him. “No one would hire me without use of my motor skills,” Lynch said. “An actor who stutters.” Looking for an affirmative outlet, he turned to stand-up comedy. He’d worked at an L.A. comedy club and found much in common with the standup brethren. “They’re kind of a sad group of people,” he said. “They’ve had things happen in their life that they can turn into comedy.” Given his disability, being onstage was acutely affirming. “Comedy felt like the only place where I was being listened to,” he said. “Out in the real world, once my stutter had developed, people would talk over me, finish sentences.” In early 2015, Lynch auditioned for America’s Got Talent, and received the show’s first-ever “Golden Buzzer” from judge Howie Mandel. It fast-tracked him to the quarterfinals; ultimately, he finished second in the competition. “I was unaware it was a thing that could happen and what it meant when Howie hit it,” he said. “There’s confetti coming down and people cheering. I was like, is this money? Am I on The Price is Right?” Mandel continues to support Lynch as he’s risen to national headliner status. A veteran comic himself, Mandel introduced Lynch at a Burbank club for the taping of his upcoming special, Did I Stutter? (though details are under wraps, it should be out this year). “Probably more than anyone, he’s been an excellent mentor in guiding me in the right direction,” Lynch said. “He’s been in the business so long; he gets it.” Marc Maron is another veteran comic who shared industry insights. Lynch had a five-episode role on Maron’s eponymous IFC show last season. “I picked his brain about comedy clubs and starting to tour heavily,” Lynch said. “It was interesting to work with a guy Drew Lynch

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SEACOAST SCENE | JANUARY 12 - 25, 2017 | PAGE 26

Drew Lynch. Courtesy photo.

with that many irons in the fire. He’s able road toward the end of 2016. After a short to tour, do his podcast and generate new break, he’ll resume with three weekmaterial at the same time. It was very end shows set at Portsmouth’s Redhook Brewery. A week later, he has a date in motivating to me.” Lynch’s v-log is a fan favorite, with Wisconsin. “While America’s Got Talent has some episodes garnering nearly a million views as he jokes about his disability opened several doors for me ... you gotta keep pushing in the company of forward,” he said. his staid “service “Sometimes I feel dog” Stella, herso emotionally self a rich source wrought and burnt of humor. Riffing Probably more than out and fatigued on pop songs — that I don’t feel like via a surprisingly anyone, [Howie Mandel doing it. But every good singing voice, has] been an excellent time I pressed forbanter and clevward, I was proud er captioning — is mentor in guiding me in of myself for meeta particular talent. ing the deadlines. Hilarious recent the right direction. Because the indusexamples include a skewering of Lukas DREW LYNCH try doesn’t wait for you, you have Graham’s “7 Years” to rise to the occaand a takedown of Adele’s “Hello” that imagines the singer sion, always.” Asked what he’s looking forward to as a deranged stalker. Because Lynch doesn’t stutter when he in the coming years, Lynch wisecracks. sings, he thought about a career in music “Man, I just ordered Chinese food 15 minutes ago, and it should be here anytime,” after the accident. “But I wasn’t able to figure out how to he said. “Past that, I’m really excited for do it, maneuver it the right way,” he said. when my special comes out, and to keep Then an independent filmmaker offered growing my YouTube channel. That’s a great way to keep interacting with peohim a role. “She was like, ‘I need you in my mov- ple every week. ... I didn’t even know that ie … you can sing too, right?’ You don’t platform could have such influence. Now come that far and say no; you figure it people come out to my shows sometimes out. So I had to go to singing lessons, just for my dog; they’re crazy about Stella. I can’t wait for a year down the line learn how to control my breath.” Lynch isn’t resting on his prime-time when she somehow gets a bigger career laurels; he’s touring vigorously to expand than me.” — Michael Witthaus his profile. He spent two months on the


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“Keep Dividing” — the pieces get smaller and smaller Across 1 “Better Call Saul” star Odenkirk 4 BLT spread 8 Keeps from happening 14 “The Simpsons” character with an 18-letter last name 15 Common freshwater bait fish

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28 One of many on a serialized TV show 32 Indiana-Illinois border river 37 James Bond novelist Fleming 38 Capitol Hill figures, slangily 40 Mythical monster that’s part woman, part serpent 41 25% of property to play in? 45 “David Copperfield” villain Heep 46 Stir-fry ingredient 47 Number that looks like itself repeated, when expressed in binary 48 Insect with two pairs of wings 50 Maintenance sign 53 Jacques or Jeanne, par exemple 55 Scuba spot 56 The “Y” in YSL 60 Sweater, say 62 Deck that all episodes of Hulu’s

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29 Dern of “Jurassic Park” 30 Lighted sign at a radio station 31 Be rude in a crowd 33 Howl at the moon 34 Cremona violinmaking family name 35 It’ll make you pull over 36 “I ___ thought about it” 39 Late “60 Minutes” reporter Morley 42 Bitterly cold Down 43 Watered-down 1 ___ Men (“Who Let the Dogs Out” 44 Like a litter of puppies group) 49 City where the Batmobile is 2 Flashy gem driven 3 Flower bed planting 51 “The Jerk” actress Bernadette 4 Titular TV attorney of the ‘90s-’00s 52 “Bearing gifts, we traverse ___” 5 “Now I understand!” 54 Use blades on blades 6 Big guffaw 56 Affirmative votes 7 Just say yes 57 Crawling with creepers 8 “Bridesmaids” producer Judd 58 Frittata needs 9 “Batman Forever” star Kilmer 59 Chance 10 Cultural periods 61 Destroys, as bubble wrap 11 Gain altitude 63 MLB stat, incorrectly but 12 Withstand commonly 13 Pillow cover 64 “... ___ I’m told” 18 “Dogs” 65 Bagpipers’ caps 19 Drops in the grass 67 One less than quattro 24 Mature 68 “Yeah” opposite 25 Angry bull’s sound 69 D20 or D8, in D&D games 27 Pedestrian path ©2017 Jonesin’ Crosswords 28 Excite, as curiosity (editor@jonesincrosswords.com)

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• Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Your horoscope calls for a big surprise today, but due to a typo you will get a fig surprise. • Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You will choose to take the road less travelled, only to discover it goes through your exwife’s neighborhood. • Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You are about to undertake an extended journey to an exotic place, and your friends couldn’t be happier. • Aries (March 21-April 19): Something great is headed your way — to be more specific, a great disappointment. • Taurus (April 20-May 20): To err is human, to forgive divine. Today you will be very, very human. • Gemini (May 21-June 20): Stop worrying about what others think of you. It couldn’t get any worse than it already is. • Cancer (June 21-July 22): Be thankful for the little things in life, such as your salary. • Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): You have a

• Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): It takes a village to raise a child. In your case, it takes a village to maintain a village idiot. • Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You have so much to give to the world, which is good because the world is ready to take everything you’ve got. • Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): Like you’re really going to believe what I tell you. OK, stand in a bucket of ice water all day. How did that feel?

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• Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Worrying never solved any problem, which is something that really concerns me.


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Rock & Roll Crosswords ain’t noise pollution Across 1. 80s pop star Abdul 6. CD-selling superstore 13. ‘On The Streets I __’ Morrissey 16. Paul Stanley’s canvas holder 17. Beatles ‘__ Rigby’ 18. Michael Schenker ‘Sharks’ band 19. Jackson/McCartney hit off ‘Thriller’ (3,4,2,4) 21. Musical antagonist 22. When musicians come together 23. “When the morning comes” Meat Loaf

would be gone like this 24. Yeah Yeah Yeahs hears a ‘Gold’ one roar 25. Come to 29. Hives smash ‘Hate __ You So’ (2,3,1,4) 32. Megadeth finds ‘Hidden’ ones 34. Van Morrison ‘__ It Stoned Me’ 35. AC/DC ‘Rock And Roll __ Noise Pollution’ 36. Sale container for CDs 37. AC/DC “Oi! Oi! Oi!” song 38. What Sonny Bono won’t do again 41. ‘The Last In Line’ Ronnie James

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43. Neil Young joins them at times (abbr) 45. Sean __ Lennon 46. Cute Is What We __ For 47. AC/DC ‘Blow Up Your Video’ hit ‘__ Rock N Roll’ (5,3,3,1,5) 52. Singer John of Steppenwolf 53. Bob Dylan ‘__ I Fell In Love With You’ 54. ‘Chicago Is So Two Years __’ Fall Out Boy 55. Primus & Ozzy-covered Black Sabbath song 56. AC/DC tells you to get off it “and come down here” 57. Christian singer Grant 58. “__ house, is a very, very, very fine house” 60. Matchbox 20 song off debut album 63. __ Maria 64. ‘03 Saves The Day album about daydreaming? (2,7) 66. ‘84 Queensrÿche debut (3,7) 71. Verve song about a Shakespearean verse? 72. ‘This Guy’s In Love With You’ Alpert 73. Manager hopefully knows them 74. Danish band that a cat can pronounce? 75. The better the improv jammer, the better this

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NEWS OF THE WEIRD BY CHUCK SHEPHERD

Too-much-reality TV

Russian producers are planning the sofar-ultimate survivors’ show in the Siberian wilderness for nine months (temperatures as low as minus 40 degrees Fahrenheit), with 30 contestants selected after signing liability waivers that protect the show even if someone is murdered. (Police may come arrest the perpetrators, but the producers are not responsible for intervening.) The show (“Game2: Winter”) will be telecast live, around the clock, beginning July 2017 via 2,000 cameras placed in a large area full of bears and treacherous forest. Producers told Siberian Times in December that 60 prospects had already signed up for the lastperson-standing prize: the equivalent of $1.6 million (only requirements: be 18 and “sane.”)

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• With car-camel collisions increasing in Iran’s two southern provinces, an Iranian government ministry is in the process of issuing identification cards to each camel, supposedly leading to outerwear license “plates.” Authorities told the Islamic Republic News Agency the registration numbers are needed if an accident victim needs to report the camel or to help trace smugglers. (No actual U.S.style license plates on camels have yet made the world’s news photographs.) • Martin Shkreli became the Wall Street bad boy in 2015 when his company Turing Pharmaceuticals bought the right to market the lifesaving drug Daraprim and promptly raised its typical price of $18 a pill to $750, but in November, high schoolers in the chemistry lab at Sydney Grammar in Australia created a molecular knockoff of Daraprim for about $2 a tablet. Their sample of “pyrimethamine” (Daraprim’s chemical name) was judged authentic by a University of Sydney chemistry professor. Daraprim, among other uses, fights deadly attacks on immune systems, such as for HIV patients. • Gazing Upon Nature as Nature Calls: To serve restroom users in a public park in China’s Hunan Province’s picturesque Shiyan Lake area, architects gave users in toilet cubicles a view of the forest through ceilingto-floor windows. To discourage sightseers who believe the better view is not from the cubicles but into them, the bottom portion, up to the level of the toilet, is frosted though that stratagem probably blurs only a pair of legs, seated. (CNN reported in October that China has at least one other such restroom, in Guilin province, viewing distant mountains.) • Oops! Organizers of the Christmas Day caroling program at the Nelum Pokuna theater in Colombo, Sri Lanka, drawing thousands of devout celebrants, were apparently confused by one song title and innocently included it in the book for the carolers. (No, it wasn’t “Inna Gadda Da Vida” from a famous “Simpsons” episode.) It was “Hail Mary” by the late rapper Tupac Shakur likely resulting in the very first appearance of certain words in

SEACOAST SCENE | JANUARY 12 - 25, 2017 | PAGE 30

any Christmas service publication anywhere. • Officials of the Ulm Minster in Ulm, Germany, the world’s tallest church (530 feet high), said in October that they fear it might eventually be brought down by visitors who make the long trek up with a full bladder and no place to relieve themselves except in dark alcoves, thus eroding the structure’s sandstone. A building preservation representative also cited vomit in the alcoves, perhaps as a result of the dizzying height of the view from the top. (News of the Weird has reported on erosion damage to a bridge, from spitting, in Mumbai, India, and at the Taj Mahal, from bug droppings.) • The Dubai-based Gulf News reported in November that 900 Kuwaiti government workers had their pay frozen during the current investigation into no-shows, including one man on the payroll (unidentified) who reportedly had not actually worked in 10 years. Another, who had been living abroad for 18 months while drawing his Kuwaiti pay, was reduced to half-pay, but insisted he had asked several times for assignments but was told nothing was available. (Gulf News reported that the 10-year man is appealing the freeze!) • Prosecutors in Darlington, England, obviously take child “cruelty” seriously because Gary McKenzie, 22, was hauled into court in October on four charges against a boy (whose name and age were not published), including passing gas in the boy’s face. The charge was

PETS OF THE WEEK

described as “in a manner likely to cause him unnecessary suffering or injury to health.” He was on trial for two other slightly harsher acts and another gas-passing, against a different boy but the judgment has not been reported. • World-class chess players are famous for intense powers of concentration, but a chess journal reported in October that top-flight female players have actually been disqualified from matches for showing too much cleavage as they play, thus distracting their opponent (according to Ms. Sava Stoisavljevic, head of the European Chess Union). In fact, the Women’s World Chess Championship, scheduled for February, has decreed that, since the matches will be held in Tehran, all contestants must wear hijabs (leading a U.S. women’s champion to announce she is boycotting). • Undignified Deaths: (1) A 24-year-old woman who worked at a confectionary factory in Fedortsovo, Russia, was killed in December when she fell into a vat of chocolate. (Some witnesses said she was pouring flour when she fell; others say she fell while trying to retrieve her dropped cellphone.) (2) A 24-year-old man was decapitated in London in August when he leaned too far out the window of one train and struck an extension on a passing train. Next to the window he leaned from was a sign warning people not to stick their heads out. Visit weirduniverse.net.

Shyla and Bosco are a delightful pair of pooches that have grown up together since puppyhood. Shyla is a 10-year-old yellow Labrador and Bosco, also 10, is an adorable Beagle mix. These two seniors were surrendered to us a few years ago because their people were moving and couldn’t take them along. They were adopted and well cared for in their new home but recently were surrendered again because their person passed away. Shyla and Bosco are really nice dogs; they know their basic commands and are housebroken. While they thrive on the attention they’ve been given at the shelter, what they really need is the attention of a truly dedicated forever home, where they can remain together. They both get along with other dogs they have met but need to go to a home without cats. Like all of the animals available for adoption at the New Hampshire SPCA, Shyla and Bosco are spay/neutered, micro-chipped and up to date on all their shots. Make a big difference in the New Year, and double your compassion for two senior animals that deserve a wonderful retirement home. Call 772-2921 or visit nhspca.org.


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The

BARLEY HOUSE SEACOAST

Eat Better. Drink Better. Have More Fun.

The Barley House Seacoast in North Hampton is the 2nd location of the downtown Concord staple. Committed to first rate friendly service and quality food preparation, The Barley House is a place for fun and relaxing in a comfortable and vibrant atmosphere. Featuring a vast selection of local craft beers, fine whiskeys and creative cockails. Live Entertainment every Thursday!

Rustic Tavern Cuisine | State of the Art Tap System | Family Friendly | Ample Parking 43 Lafayette Road. North Hampton, NH (at the Shaw’s/Lafayette Plaza) • (603) 379-9161 132 N Main St, Concord, NH • (603) 228-6363 • thebarleyhouse.com SEACOAST SCENE | JANUARY 12 - 25, 2017 | PAGE 32

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