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BRIAN REGAN BRINGS THE FUNNY P. 30

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SEPTEMBER 26 - OCTOBER 2, 2019

LOCAL FARMS OFFER MORE THAN APPLES THIS SEASON

INSIDE: LOCAL BEER AT SEACOAST MICROBREW FESTIVAL


A WORD FROM LARRY

Master McGrath’s

The seasonal transition What a great weekend! Summer decided to stay on for a while! Even though the beaches are slowly closing and the tourists are leaving, there are still many businessLarry Marsolais es that stay open all year. These places rely on the locals, so please give them your support. Stop into your favorite place or try something new: no lines, no waiting and plenty of parking spaces! On another note, it’s fair and festival season, and there are several good ones going on. This might be a good time to plan a trip and attend one — perhaps the Deerfield Fair happening this weekend. I have been to one already

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and spent the whole day and had an amazing time. Sooner than we think, most of us will be our homes with the heat on and complaining about the cold weather, so get out and enjoy the fall season because we all know that winter is right around the corner! There is a ton of stuff going on during the fall in your community, so why not enjoy it? Or, if you are like me and have put aside some of those projects around the outside of your house because it was too hot, now is the time to wrap them up. As always feel free to call me anytime at 603-935-5096 to discuss local issues or to place an ad. Larry Marsolais is the general manager of the Seacoast Scene and the former president of the Hampton Rotary Club.

SEPTEMBER 26 - OCTOBER 2, 2019 VOL 44 NO 29

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Games Daily 11am -1am

Advertising Staff Larry Marsolais Seacoast Scene General Manager 603-935-5096 larry@seacoastscene.net

KARAOKE THURSDAY & FRIDAY NIGHTS

Editorial Staff

8pm - Midnight

Editor Meghan Siegler editor@seacoastscene.net

BREAKFAST SERVED Sat & Sun 8am-2pm

Editorial Design Laura Young and Tristan Collins

Friday Special Fried Clam Plate Saturday Special (4pm on) Roast Prime Rib of Beef Au Jus

Contributors Rob Levey, Michael Witthaus, Matt Ingersoll, Jeff Mucciarone, Danielle Roberts, Elyse Carmosino

Production

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Tristan Collins, Nicole Reitano-Urquhart Rachel Stone

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with fries and cole slaw Takeout Available Visit our website for entertainment

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www.MasterMcGraths.com SEACOAST SCENE | SEPTEMBER 26 - OCTOBER 2, 2019 | PAGE 2

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COVER STORY 6 Fall harvest

MAPPED OUT 16 Beaches, restrooms, where to walk your dog and more

PEOPLE & PLACES 17 The coolest Seacoast dwellers and scenes

FOOD 22 Eateries and foodie events

POP CULTURE 28 Books, art, theater and classical

NITE LIFE 30 Music, comedy and more

BEACH BUM FUN 32 Puzzles, horoscopes and crazy news

Have an event or a story idea for the Seacoast Scene? Let us know at: editor@seacoastscene.net

Your weekly guide to the coast. Published every Thursday (1st copy free; 2nd $1).

Unsolicited submissions are not accepted and will not be returned or acknowledged. Unsolicited submissions will be destroyed.

Seacoast Scene PO Box 961 Hampton NH 03843 603-935-5096 | www.seacoastscene.net


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4 SHORE THINGS

EVENTS TO CHECK OUT SEPTEMBER 26 - OCTOBER 2, 2019, AND BEYOND Cookbook Club

The Salisbury Public Library is hosting its monthly Cookbook Club gathering on Thursday, Oct. 3, from 6 to 8 p.m. The October cookbook is Everyday Dorie by Dorie Greenspan. Get the cookbook, choose a recipe, prepare it for the night of the meeting and enjoy a potluck at the library! Registration required. Call 978-465-5071.

Beer for History

The first event of this year’s Beer for History series at the American Independence Museum’s Folsom Tavern in Exeter is happening on Thursday, Sept. 26, from 6 to 8 p.m., and will feature pourings with the crew from von Trapp Brewery of Stowe, Vt. Other scheduled events are for Thursday, Oct. 10, with Throwback Brewery of North Hampton; Thursday, Oct. 24, with Sea Dog Brewing Co. of Exeter; Thursday, Nov. 7, with Tilton Brothers Brewing of Hampton; and Thursday, Nov. 21, with Bad Lab Beer Co. of Somersworth. There are beer pourings, food options each night, with different programming from scavenger hunts to trivia and colonial-themed games, depending on the participating brewer. Tickets to each night are $20 ($3 for children). Visit independencemuseum.org.

Seaside brews James House fun

The James House in Hampton will host open houses on Sunday, Sept. 29, Sunday, Oct. 13, and Sunday, Oct. 27, from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Tour the James Farmstead and House with Skip Webb (pictured). Ongoing weaving and spinning demonstrations are provided by James House Master Weaver Dianne Howes. Attendance is free. For some spookier fun, James House will host Spirit Chasers Paranormal Events for people 18 and older. On Saturday, Sept. 28, there will be a séance with psychic Val Lafaso, 7 to 9 p.m. Attendance limited to 7, $20 per person. On Saturday, Oct. 19, there will be a ghost hunt at the James House, 7 p.m. to midnight. Attendance limited to 10 people, $25 per person. Paranormal events require advance registration. To register contact willy Hassell at drifter3@ comcast.net. For information concerning Special Programs and Open House Days contact Skip Webb at 603-926-3851. Visit jameshousemuseum.org.

The fifth annual Seaside Brewfest will be held Saturday, Sept. 28, at Salisbury Beach, with beer, live music and backyard games. Attendees can sample ciders, ales, pilsners, lagers, seltzers and more while playing Connect Four or corn hole, and there will be selfie stations too. The party kicks off at 4 p.m. with music from Derrick & Dave and ends at 9 p.m. Tickets are available online and include a Seaside Brewfest commemorative mug and 10 brew tasting coupons. The cost is $25 advance, $30 for tickets at the door and $10 for nondrinkers. Go to tickets.beerfests.com/event/ seaside-brewfest.

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21/2 - UP YEARS OF AGE Blueberry Bay Farm. Courtesy photo.

Apples and pumpkins are quintessential fall, but the autumn harvest has so much more to offer. On the Seacoast, an abundance of fresh fruits and vegetables is available at many local farms, including beets, broccoli, onions, potatoes and winter squash, just to name a few. “As a grower, fall is a refreshing time after the long days of summer. As an eater, fall is the best time for eating because there are so many options and endless combinations of local foods available,” said Jeff Benton, co-owner of Orange Circle Farm in Berwick, Maine. Benton said that one of the goals of Orange Circle Farm is to provide highquality ingredients for people who like to cook and eat at home. Other local farms share the same goal and want to encourage people to turn to local producers rather than getting their produce from a large grocery store. “Most veggies in the store have been shipped from afar,” said Ron Laurence, owner of Blueberry Bay Farm in Stratham. “In order for them to be ripe and attractive to buy, they must be picked off the plant long before they are ripe. The shipped crop doesn’t have optimum taste and nutrition because it’s only reached when the crop ripens on the plant.” Local crops are not shipped and are usually picked just a few days before they are sold, so buying your vegetables directly from these farms is recommended for the best and most delicious experience. “The farm-fresh veggies picked at their peak of ripeness will contain more nutrition and will taste better,” Laurence said. Farms are also making it easier for

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communities to have access to these fresh vegetables. Most farms participate in Community Supported Agriculture, which is a way for consumers to buy seasonal food directly from the farmer. Consumers purchase a CSA as a type of “share” (also known as a subscription) from the farm and receive a box of fresh vegetables every week throughout the season. Eleanor Kane, co-owner of Brasen Hill Farm in Barrington, has added a new aspect to that farm’s CSA products: online ordering. Customers can order vegetables for pickup or home delivery on the Seacoast, making local food more accessible. “I think one thing we talk about on the farm a lot is that local food doesn’t have to be special. It’s not a specialoccasion food,” Kane said. As for this year specifically, the crops that do best in the fall are thriving due to cooler weather. The summer had some especially hot days, but it has not affected the cold-weather crops. According to weather reports, it looks like the autumn months will be chilly and the perfect temperature to grow delicious vegetables we all love eating as the leaves change color. “It’s been a relatively cool year overall with warm-season crops struggling to achieve their full potential. Meanwhile the cool-season crops have done really well and are off to a great start in the early fall,” Benton said. Many people go apple and pumpkin picking when autumn rolls around. Instead, imagine going vegetable picking. Many of these farms with other vegetables offer a pick-your-own option, whether it’s for squash, cabbage or onions. 8

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Blueberry Bay Farm. Courtesy photo.

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These root vegetables in the same family are great to grow in the fall, because they can tolerate frosts and light freezes. Beets need a lot of sunlight, but they also

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“Many veggies, particularly greens, are quite good in the fall because they love cooler temperatures at night,” said Laurence. This fall, support a local farmer by picking up some fresh vegetables and trying out new recipes. “Buying local supports the local economy and puts money toward small businesses in the area. Farms employ a lot of local workers, purchase from other local businesses, and sell to local restaurants; supporting this is a way to keep the economy of the Seacoast thriving, as opposed to sending those dollars to larger corporations without as much of a local interest,” said Kane. Here are some of the fall harvest items that are available at farms on the Seacoast, plus tips and recipes that will help you turn your fresh produce into a delicious dish.

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require temperatures between 50 and 65 degrees Fahrenheit. Meanwhile, Swiss chard is considered frost-resistant and can be harvested for quite a long time after the first frost. As for turnips, they need sunlight and tend to grow quickly, ripening after two months. If you’ve never tried beets or turnips, you can eat them raw or cooked (farmers suggest roasting them) and they have a sweet flavor. Swiss chard, on the other hand, can sometimes taste bitter, but you can use it as a replacement for spinach. “A weekly batch of roasted squash and root vegetables is a great place to start [with cooking],” said Benton. Where you can find beets and Swiss chard: Heron Pond Farm 290 Main Ave. South Hampton (603) 394-0129 Open 9 a.m. – 6 p.m. every day Meadow’s Mirth 35 Powwow River Road Kingston (603) 767-2610

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Braised and Glazed Turnips Recipe provided by Jeff Benton of Melt butter over medium heat, then add turOrange Circle Farm nips. Saute turnips to brown them. Then, add enough water (or stock) to cover the One bunch turnips, washed and quartered turnips halfway, as well as sweetener and 1 1/2 tablespoons of butter 2 teaspoons of maple syrup, honey or sugar salt. Simmer until tender, about 5 to 7 minutes. Remove once they are tender. Pinch of salt


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Orange Circle Farm. Courtesy photo. 8

tables in 20 to 30 minutes. “I made a delicious coleslaw [with the cabbage],” Kane said. “You can make a really great and quick meal durThese crops are in the same plant ing the week.” family and require similar production, specifically being harvested in the fall. Where you can find cole crops: They are well-adapted to New England McKenzie’s Farm and produce best in cool weather. Veg71 NE Pond Road etables like cabbage, broccoli, kale and Milton Brussels sprouts are usually leafy and (603) 652-9400 good for your health. Open 9 a.m. – 6 p.m. every day until Nov. 11 When it comes to cooking with these cole crops, you can do a lot. BenBlueberry Bay Farm ton suggests eating it raw or sauteing 38 Depot Road it quickly on the stove. Kane says you Stratham can easily make a meal out of the vege12 (603) 580-1612

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Coleslaw Recipe provided by Eleanor Kane of Brasen Hill Farm

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Coleslaw: 1 green cabbage, finely sliced 1/4 cup red onion 1/4 cup grated cheddar cheese Mix these ingredients together and season with salt and pepper.

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Dressing: Olive oil Mustard Red wine vinegar Mix together dressing ingredients and toss with cabbage. Let sit for 15 to 20 minutes before serving, toss again, and enjoy.


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Orange Circle Farm. Courtesy photo.

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These root vegetables are always popular in dishes. Onions are frequently added to provide extra flavor in a meal, and while leeks aren’t used as often, they provide a milder flavor. Most farms on and around the New Hampshire seacoast list onions as one of their crops. “We’ve got a great onion harvest and our leeks look fantastic,” said Kane. “The mild weather in September helps. It’s hard with a cold snap or heat wave, but the rain has also been helpful.” 

Chicken Pot Pie Recipe provided by Danie Roberts

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whether it’s because we think they are grown in the midwestern U.S. or because we don’t always consider it a vegetable. While it may get overlooked, the potato is actually well-suited for the New England weather. It requires cool weather and temperatures averaging below 70 degrees. Kane said that at Brasen Hill Farm, the potato crops are looking good for the remainder of the season and can be used in a lot of recipes.  “Sometimes it’s simply chopping all of these vegetables with a little bit of olive oil, salt and pepper, and putting in Where You Can Find Onions and Leeks: the oven to roast,” Kane said.   Brasen Hill Farm Where you can find potatoes: 71 Warren Road Riverside Farm Stand and Greenhouse Barrington 323 Elm St. (603) 868-2001 North Berwick, Maine (207) 370-5103 Stout Oak Farm Open 9 a.m. – 6 p.m. every day 83 Middle Road Brentwood Snell Family Farm Open 9 a.m. – 6 p.m., Tuesday 1000 River Road through Sunday until Oct. 31 Buxton, Maine (207) 929-6166 Potatoes Open 9 a.m. – 5 p.m. Monday through Potatoes aren’t always thought of as Saturday, 9 a.m. – 4 p.m. Sunday until a crop that is grown in New England, Thanksgiving 14

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1/3 cup celery ¼ cup onion 1 jar chicken gravy 2 cups cooked chicken 1 cup cooked potatoes 1 cup carrots ½ cup peas

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Orange Circle Farm. Courtesy photo.

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Winter Squash

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Probably the most popular vegetable grown in the fall, winter squash is an abundant crop on most farms in New England. Some popular variations of winter squash are butternut, spaghetti, buttercup, acorn and hubbard. There are many ways that these cold-weather crops can be used in meals, whether it’s a side dish during Thanksgiving or a hot soup on a chilly winter day. “We make a lot of soup this time of year with our squashes,” said Kane.  “Big batches of soups can be frozen and enjoyed later when the variety of local flavors isn’t so abundant,” Benton said.  With winter squash, it’s important to wait to pick it until it is fully matured. You can eat it within the next

Winter Squash Soup Provided by Jeff Benton of Orange Circle Farm

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Winter squash, about 3 pounds (one medium, two small) 1 tablespoon butter 1 medium onion, finely chopped coarse salt and ground pepper 1/2 teaspoon fresh thyme leaves, plus more for garnish 1 can (14 1/2 ounces) reduced-sodium chicken broth 1/2 cup half-and-half Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Halve squash lengthwise; scoop out and discard seeds. Place squash, cut side down, on a rimmed baking sheet; cover tightly with aluminum

few days, but if you want to save it for a certain meal, winter squash can be stored for a few months without going bad. However, it must be stored where the temperature is between 55 and 60 degrees Fahrenheit. If the temperature falls below 55 degrees, it is likely to freeze or get damaged, making it inedible. Where you can find winter squash: Orange Circle Farm 184 Blackberry Hill Road Berwick, Maine (207) 752-7855 Wake Robin Farm 52 Union Road Stratham (603) 674-3990 Open 8 a.m. - 6 p.m. daily until November

foil. Roast until almost tender when pierced with a knife, 15 to 25 minutes. When cool enough to handle, scrape out flesh, discard skin. In a large saucepan, heat butter over medium. Add onion; season with salt and pepper. Cook, stirring occasionally, until tender, 3 to 5 minutes. Add squash, thyme, broth, and 2 cups water. Bring to a boil over high heat; reduce to medium, and cook until squash is very tender, 10 to 12 minutes. Working in batches, puree mixture in a blender until very smooth, about 1 minute. Return to pan; add half-and-half, and season generously with salt and pepper. Thin bisque, if needed, by adding more water. Serve garnished with thyme.


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PEOPLE AND PLACES

MARTHA BERK OWNER OF ATLANTIC HOMELIFE SENIOR CARE IN DOVER Tell us a little about your business. We help seniors and their families with the challenges that can come with aging. Whether it is because of difficulty with mobility, monitoring nutrition, safety due to memory issues or the need for assistance with bathing and toileting, we can help.

but we recently helped a 106-year-old women stay in her home, which is where she wanted to be. With the help of her son and our services, she was able to remain fairly independent for someone of that age. We start assisting her a few hours a day and eventually we supported her 24/7 until she passed just recently. It’s great to be able to help someone fulfill someone’s last wishes and let them pass on their terms.

What area do you service? We serve the Seacoast of New Hampshire and southern Maine. How many people or families do you serve each year? The numbers vary year to year, but usually over 100 families a year. Some clients stay with us for many years, but sadly some pass quickly. Why is senior care so important today? The number of people over 65 is projected to double by 2050. In surveys, the majority of people state they would rather stay in their homes as opposed to moving to a facility. We are also in the middle of an epidemic of Alzheimer’s disease with numbers projected to triple by 2060 to an estimated 14 million people.

What is the most challenging? Dealing with families that are in conflict as to what is the best thing for their loved one.

Martha Berk. Courtesy photo.

can better understand? As people age, they do not lose their desire to be productive and respected members of society. Often, people assume that when someone starts to need more care that they should just go to a nursing home. The majority of seniors don’t want or see the need for assistance, and they want to stay in the home that they love.

Have the needs of seniors changed What is the most rewarding part of over the years? your job? People are living longer than ever Getting to know my clients and hearing before. With an increase in age comes the story of their lives. I have met some increases in some diseases. As we live truly amazing people. longer, the changes are greater that at some point we will all need help. Any particularly heartwarming stories you can share about someone with whom What don’t people know about the you have worked? needs of seniors that you hope people Obviously, we cannot mention names,

BEAUTIFYING HAMPTON Hampton Garden Club members planted new plants and put down wood chips to add more curb appeal to the Town Hall area this summer. This is just one site around Hampton for which the club does beautification work.

Any changes you foresee in your industry in the next five to 10 years? Continued increases in home care options. Any sense for what home care options might exist in 10 years that do not yet exist today? One area we are watching closely is Medicare Advantage. Through this program, there are now some home care services available that were never paid for under Medicare. This has been slow to be adopted and is not available in all areas, but it could significantly alter the market in the long run. When not working, what are your hobbies? What do you do for fun? Spending time with my family, reading and going to the beach. Are you from the Seacoast originally? If not, where are you from and what brought you here? I was born in Cambridge, Massachusetts, grew up in Freeport, Maine, and went to college and nursing school in Boston. I settled in the New Hampshire Seacoast area about 25 years ago with my family. As with most people, I assume, a job offer is what brought me to the Seacoast originally, but I fell in love with the area and can’t imagine leaving. If there is one thing you want people to remember about you or the business, what would that be? That I am passionate about senior care and helping people maintain their dignity and independence. — Rob Levey 128406

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Finding a sitter on a weekend night can be a challenge, but Luv 2 Play has created a chance for parents to get a little time off while the kids have plenty of fun. Every Friday night since January, Luv 2 Play’s Hampton location has hosted what they call Parent Night Out, where parents who sign up ahead of time can drop their children off between the hours of 5 and 9 p.m. While the parents are out doing whatever they want to do with their free time, the kids can play in a safe environment. “They have the facility to themselves during those hours to run, go through and play on whatever they want to play,” said Luv 2 Play Hampton owner Patrick St. John. “There isn’t a lot of structure to it in a sense. We don’t have a reading time or anything like that. What we find is the kids are much more interested in just burning some energy.” Luv 2 Play is designed for kids 2 to 12, with a variety of play areas that suit children

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of different ages. From a massive playset with four slides, to arcade games, to an infant area, parents can be assured that there’s always something age-appropriate. For parents who might want to stay, rather than leave entirely, Luv 2 Play offers a cafe with Wi-Fi and a clear view of the play area. “It’s very easy for the parents to come and relax while the kids play, because they can keep an eye on them, but they don’t necessarily have to be right with them,” St. John said. Something that sets Parent Night Out apart from other sitting services is the price, St. John said: The cost of $8 per hour for the first child, plus an additional $4 per hour for every other child, means that parents can rest assured their children are in good hands without breaking the bank or frantically searching for a sitter at the last minute. “[The price is] pretty reasonable, particularly if you have more than one kid. It’s an option that’s

reliable. I know from my own experience that trying to get a teenager or someone to commit can be difficult. But here, every Friday we’re available from 5 to 9 no matter what,” St. John said. In addition to Parent Night Out, Luv 2 Play also offers a Drop and Shop program on weekdays, a similar sitting service to Parent Night Out that gives parents some time to get errands done after work and school is out for the day. St. John said that as a retired veteran, he and his wife, Melissa, place a particularly strong emphasis on cleanliness — something that many feel similar child play places often lack, they said. St. John said one consistent compliment online reviewers give of his franchise location is how clean it is. “It’s something we take pride in,” he said. Something else St. John takes pride in is the food Luv 2 Play serves its customers. Despite the otherwise typical menu of pizza, mac and cheese, and hot dogs, over the years, he says he’s spent time reworking the meals they offer so that what they provide to customers is higher-quality than what one might typically find on the kids’ menu. At the end of the day, though, he says what’s important is that customers enjoy themselves and parents want to bring their kids back. And parents do bring their kids back. “As people continue to learn more and more about [Parent Night Out], it continues to get more popular. Compared to the first month that we did it, we’re definitely seeing consistently eight to 10 kids every Friday night,” he said. “We definitely have repeat customers, and every week we get one or two new new folks who have heard about us from one of the other parents, so it continues to expand in that fashion.” Making sure kids have a fun but safe environment to play in is one of Luv 2 Play’s highest priorities. All employees have been adult and pediatric CPR-certified and have passed background checks and drug screenings. To sign your child up for Parent Night Out, go to luv2play.com. For questions, call Melissa St. John at 203-430-3964, or email her at info@luv2play-nh.com. — Elyse Carmosino


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CAR TALK

Carburetor care for a sixties Chevy Nova Dear Car Talk: I have been working on my 1966 Chevy Nova II. I recently replaced the fuel pump (mechanical), all filters, all spark plugs and liquids. I’ve also tried tuning the idle By Ray Magliozzi speed and idle mixture screws on the carburetor. Unfortunately, the car still stalls on occasion when trying to accelerate quickly or brake quickly. Could it be that the carburetor needs better tuning? Or perhaps it needs to be completely rebuilt and cleaned? Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. — Peter If you can find a new carburetor for this car, buy it, Peter. In fact, buy two, and save one for 2029 because it sounds like you have two carburetor problems. If it’s stumbling or stalling on acceleration, that’s probably a bad accelerator pump. That would cause a lack of fuel when starting from a dead stop. And if it’s stalling when you brake hard, that could easily be a bad carburetor float, which becomes porous, gets submerged and causes flooding and stalling. While you could take it apart and clean it

and replace the accelerator pump and float, carburetors are notoriously finicky. It’s not only a lot of painstaking work with lots of small parts, but it might be one of those jobs where you have parts left over when you finish and have to wonder if they were important (hint: they were). It’s much easier to simply replace the carburetor, and I can pretty much guaranty that’ll solve both of your problems. You might be able to find a new, original Rochester carburetor for this car if you search online. They used to be a dime a dozen. If you have trouble finding one, or it’s too expensive, a professionally remanufactured carburetor would be almost as good. And if you can’t find either of those, you can buy an aftermarket carburetor for this car from a company like Holley. That would probably require you to change the intake manifold as well. So, depending on your level of mechanical skill, it might be something you want to have a mechanic do for you. Or, if you have enough surplus vacation days and Band-Aids, you can tackle it yourself. Good luck, Peter. Dear Car Talk: I bought a 2010 Toyota Prius last year. It is a great car, returning 45 to 50 mpg.

How long will the hybrid battery last? The previous owner said that it had the original hybrid battery. Thanks. — John Well, Toyota warranties the hybrid battery for 8 years or 100,000 miles in most states. In California, due to state law, the warranty is 10 years or 150,000 miles. But that doesn’t tell you how long the battery lasts in real life. We don’t have a precise answer for you, John, but I can tell you that we’ve had a number of Priuses in the shop with over 250,000 miles on them, with the original battery still doing fine. And there are plenty of taxi and Lyft drivers that put hundreds of thousands of miles on Priuses without battery failure. That doesn’t mean the battery will last forever. At some point, you’ll see that dreaded warning light. Then you’ll have to consider your options. If you plan to keep the car for another 10 years or 200,000 miles, you can go to your Toyota dealer and have them put in a brandnew Toyota battery. The price keeps coming down on those, but it’s still an expensive repair. Expect it to cost you a good $3,000, including the credit you’ll get for your old battery. Another option is to price out reconditioned, aftermarket batteries. They might cost you $1,000 to $1,500 less. But you should

expect them not to last as long as the original Toyota batteries. If you’re only planning to keep the car a few more years, and you can get a good warranty with an aftermarket battery, it might be worth considering. Maybe. Finally, our auto writer pal John Goreham from cartalk.com tells us that individual cells can be replaced. If one or more cells go bad, a mechanic trained in hybrid batteries can replace just that cell and then balance the battery and adjust all the voltages. That’s a good solution if you have a single defective cell or two. But if you’ve got 200,000 miles on the car, it’s probably the beginning of the end for the battery anyway, and you could end up spending more on cells than if you had just bit the bullet and bought a new battery. So, we can’t tell you exactly how long your battery will last, John. But just like with internal combustion engines, we do have expectations. For example, we would expect a Toyota Corolla engine to last at least 150,000 miles. Some fail sooner, many go much longer. Given their track record, we now expect Prius batteries to last at least 150,000 to 200,000 miles. We hope yours lasts even longer. Many do. Visit Cartalk.com

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AT WHYM CRAFT PUB & BREWERY A cafe-style bar with local brews and innovative food pairings, WHYM Craft Pub & Brewery (853 Lafayette Road, Hampton, 601-2801, whym.beer) is one of the newest eateries to come to Hampton. After being open for about six years in Portsmouth as WHYM Craft Beer Cafe, co-owner Alex Aviles of Hampton, his wife Gretchin, and business partners Matt Barrett and Bob Levine decided to move to a larger space last month to open their own onsite brewery. Aviles said WHYM’s name is an acronym for the four main ingredients in beer: water, hops, yeast and malt. The goal is for WHYM to begin operating its own seven-barrel brewing system by the middle of next year, Aviles said. But in the meantime guests can enjoy up to about two dozen craft beers on draft, with what he calls New American Fusion menu options from a variety of cultural influences. Every menu item has its own creative spin on it, according to Aviles; there are small plates, like chili con queso with chicken chorizo, Gouda stout cheese, ancho and cotija, served with house-made chips; plus sandwiches, soups, bowls and larger plates, like the “swine and swagger” (slow-roasted pork ribs with a house barbecue dry rub, Cajun slaw and salad) and Gouda stout macaroni and cheese with toasted breadcrumbs and crostini. The Scene recently spoke to Aviles about some of his favorite dishes on the menu and what moving closer to home means to him. How long has WHYM Craft Pub & Brewery been around? My wife and I started WHYM in 2013 in Portsmouth. We were both born and raised in New Hampshire and had moved to Maine for our careers before deciding we wanted to move back home. There was a really interesting grassroots movement going with craft beer at the time, when it started to become a more localized industry. We wanted to portray that aspect of the culture behind craft beer, so the food actually at first was secondary. But before we knew it we started finding great pride in serving really good food too. We opened in Hampton on Aug. 24. [We moved] because we realized that WHYM’s next step was to

have its own brewery. This new space was larger for us, plus felt like it would be an exciting new addition to the community. What makes WHYM Craft Pub & Brewery unique? We have menu items that span across different cultures and what we think pair well with our beers on draft. We try to encompass a lot of creativity in our menu, so that people look at it and say, “Wow, I haven’t seen anything like this before.” What also makes us different is that we’re always changing and evolving … so that people can come in and have a different experience every time.

WHYM Craft Pub & Brewery. Courtesy photos.

SEACOAST SCENE | SEPTEMBER 26 - OCTOBER 2, 2019 | PAGE 22

WHYM Craft Pub & Brewery. Photo by Melissa Koren Photography.

What is your personal favorite dish? The Hipster Cowgirl is my favorite meal on the menu. It’s a really big, juicy burger with pickled red onions, goat cheese, chipotle aioli and parsley. It’s different because … you get a good mix of savory and sweet. It strikes a really good balance. What is a dish that everyone should try? That’s a tough question because our menu has expanded since we’ve moved. In Portsmouth our highest-rated item was the fish and chips, [which features] Allagash beer-battered haddock and pickled ginger tartar sauce that we do in house. But a new menu item that I’d have to say is really good is tuna steak with sesame rice noodles and baby corn kimchi.

What is an essential skill to running a restaurant? The most essential thing is having an incredible staff that really does have the best interest of the consumer and the future of the business in mind. We love our employees and we want them to love working here just like we do as well. What is your favorite part about being on the Seacoast? It’s the best place in the world. We have an amazing community of people here that always comes together either to party or to help each other out. — Matt Ingersoll


FOOD

TRY THIS AT HOME Cinnamon apple biscotti

Cinnamon apple biscotti Makes 28 biscotti 1/3 cup unsalted butter, softened 3/4 cup white sugar 1/2 cup light brown sugar 2 eggs 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 2 cups flour 1 teaspoon baking powder 1/4 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon cinnamon 1-1/2 cups finely diced dried apple rings 1-1/2 cups powdered sugar 1 teaspoon cinnamon 2-1/2 tablespoons apple cider Preheat oven to 350. Beat butter and both sugars in bowl of stand mixer on speed 2 for 3 minutes. Add eggs one at a time, scraping down sides and beating until fully combined. Stir in vanilla extract. Slowly add

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biscotti will be heading his way and will still be fresh upon arrival. Second, it’s fall, and who isn’t thinking about everything apple? (Seriously, I like pumpkin, too, but let’s give apples their due.) For an autumn-centric snack, whether you’ll eat it today or ship it miles away, these biscotti are your go-to.

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flour, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon, mixing until combined. Stir dried apple into dough. Divide dough in half. Shape each half into 10″ x 4″ rectangle, using floured hands. Set loaves 3″ apart on a parchment paper-lined baking sheet. Bake for 30 minutes or until the dough is set. Leaving the oven on, remove the baking sheet from the oven, and cool biscotti loaves for 15 minutes on cookie sheet. Using a chef’s knife, cut the loaves into diagonal slices, 3/4″ thick. Place slices on cookie sheet with the cut sides down. Bake for 10 minutes. Turn slices over, and bake for 10 minutes more. Remove biscotti from oven, and allow to cool completely on a cooling rack. Combine powdered sugar, cinnamon, and cider, stirring until smooth. Using a spoon, drizzle glaze over biscotti. Glaze should set in 5-10 minutes.

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When my oldest left for college five years ago, I knew I’d be sending care packages to him. As someone who prides herself on making so many things homemade, baked goods would definitely be part of the package. However, when your child goes to school 2,000 miles away, you need to consider what baked goods will last for a couple days of shipping plus another day or two finding its way to the student’s mailbox. Biscotti aren’t the only answer to that problem, but they definitely are a good answer. Because biscotti are twice baked, they are always crunchy, so a little time in transit or just sitting on your counter won’t hurt. I have kept biscotti for several weeks, and they are just as delicious as the day they were baked. In fact, it’s a good recipe to keep for the holiday season. You know that crazy time of year when you need a dessert on hand for a last minute gathering or impromptu company? This recipe will solve that problem. Before you get in the weeds of the holidays, take an afternoon and make a few batches of biscotti. Store them in the freezer or fridge. Then when you have a social gathering that requires a dessert you’ve got biscotti ready to share! I made this particular recipe with two things in mind. First, that son now is in Alabama. Yep, it’s another long distance care package location. So, these

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Pumpkin brews

Scoff at it if you must but it’s pumpkin time Pumpkin and beer are a controversial pairing. You’ve got the lovers, those who can’t wait to soak their tastenbuds in pumpkin and malt. But there are probably just as many haters, beer drinkers who sneer at the thought of pumpkin and beer, together. Hey, whatever, it’s fall, and whether you like it or not, if you’re going to embrace pumpkinflavored beer, now is the time. The air is crisp and cool, and, come on, you are ready to shift gears from the lighter, more summery brews you’ve been enjoying over the past few months to something with a bit more body and a bit more malty character. Look, you don’t have to add cinnamon and sugar to the rim of your glass to enjoy a pumpkin brew. I mean, I won’t sneer at you if you do, but my opinion is that pumpkin beers are at their best when the pumpkin (and nutmeg) flavor is subtle, not sweet and in your face. There are exceptions, but I like a pumpkin brew where you have to look around for the pumpkin flavor, when it’s an added layer of complexity. To me the Punkin by Dogfish Head Craft Brewery is the embodiment of the perfect pumpkin beer. This brown ale hits you with rich malty notes of toasted nuts and chocolate, and a layer of quiet pumpkin. This is just one of my all-time favorites. I tend to think darker beers are a better base for pumpkin, as most of the lighter pumpkin beers I’ve tried seem to lack complexity and are too sweet. Relax, that’s just a personal opinion. Here are four New England pumpkin-flavored brews I’ll be tracking down this fall: Harvest Pumpkin Ale by Able Ebenezer Brewing Co. (Merrimack) Able Ebenezer uses 250 pounds of pumpkins from Sunnycrest Farm in Londonderry that have been roasted at New England’s Tap House Grille in Hooksett for each batch of its Homecoming Harvest Pumpkin Ale, which will be available mid-October. Unlike many, many other pumpkin brews, this one eschews cinnamon, nutmeg and vanilla and let’s the pumpkin lead the way. I like that.

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Toasted Pumpkin Ale by 603 Brewery (Derry) First, I like that this is 8.2-percent ABV because that signals to me that this “big beer” has layers of complexity. While the brewery says it uses organic pumpkin, it does balance the brew with spices and ages it on cinnamon sticks and Madagascar vanilla beans. I have a feeling 603 nails this. As evidenced by their Coffeecake Porter, they know how to balance sweet and spice.

Able Ebenezer Brewing Company roasts 250 pounds of pumpkins in every batch of its Homecoming Harvest Pumpkin Ale. Courtesy photo.

Grumpy Pumpkin Ale by Stark Brewing Co. (Manchester) While this does have a bit more sweetness than I look for in a pumpkin brew, it’s well-balanced and refreshing, as it’s fairly light. This is a perfect pumpkin brew for the inevitable unseasonably warm fall day we all know is coming. Roadsmary’s Baby by Two Roads Brewing Co. (Stratford, Conn.) First, what a great name? Second, this pumpkin brew is beyond intriguing. It’s brewed in rum barrels and I feel like a little rum and vanilla would be the perfect complement to the flavor of pumpkin and spice. Jeff Mucciarone is a senior account manager with Montagne Communications, where he provides communications support to the New Hampshire wine and spirits industry. What’s in My Fridge Derivative Vic Secret by Proclamation Ale Co. (Warick, Rhode Island): This is a single-hopped pale ale that blew me away. I love how the piney notes meld together with the more tropical notes of grapefruit and orange. Great brew. Cheers! Must Try I’ve long felt that brown ales are an underrated and underappreciated style. I love the roasty, toasty goodness of a quality brown ale. I think it’s perfect for the current season. But, to my chagrin, you don’t see too many newer breweries investing in the style. With that in mind, when I saw that Kettlehead Brewing Co. in Tilton is offering an English brown ale, Brown Pow, I did a fist pump to myself. The brewery says it has a “nutty, biscuit, caramel and roasty character.” I’ve got to get my hands on that.


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Beer fans can sample new and favorite brews on Saturday, Sept. 28, at the Seacoast Microbrew Festival, as 25 local breweries and seven local restaurants will come together at Henry Law Park in Dover from noon until 4 p.m. “It’s really a great beer festival that’s geared toward local breweries that are in this region,” said Ben Lord, owner and operator of Chapel + Main Brewery and operations director of the festival. “It’s a fun event at the end of the summer with a lot of brewers together. It’s casual, and we’re all friends.” The festival was started five years ago by Kate Sanders and occurred in June. Lord said that after she changed roles and wasn’t in Dover as often, they convinced her to start it back up. “I’ve been harassing her to get the festival going,” Lord said. “We decided June was a bad time [after convincing her in April] and picked September. She’s still pretty much the brains behind it.” The festival takes place at Henry Law Park, which Lord likes because it’s a nice open space for everyone. Another reason they picked this location is because it has a great view of the Cocheco River and the Great Bay watershed. The watershed covers more than 1,000 square miles throughout Maine and New Hampshire, and is where many breweries get their water from. “That was kind of the concept behind [the festival]. Most breweries are

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Courtesy photos.

around the watershed, and we never wanted to get too big or too far away, so the focus was to try and keep it in one location,” said Lord. All participating breweries are within 25 miles of Dover. While the purpose of the festival isn’t to generate a lot of revenue, the money that is left over helps to support the Great Bay watershed and other local nonprofits. In the future, the festival is looking at starting a grant application

to help other nonprofits that directly impact this community. As a festival with local breweries, ticket sales are capped at 1,000 so it won’t be overly crowded. This is also to prevent breweries from running out of beer during the four-hour session. “There’s nothing worse than attending an empty festival or one that’s sold out with nothing available. You don’t want too little or too much of anything, so this way we can control that and meet or exceed the expectations of people who attend,” said Lord. While some breweries have the possibility of running out, there won’t be a shortage of beer. Besides the beer, there will be a small number of local restaurants with food to purchase, such as Kendall Pond Pizza in Dover and Vida Cantina in Portsmouth. There will also be a few local bands performing, and numerous games and activities to enjoy. “It’s going to be a great day to be outside and have fun,” said Lord. “This festival is an excuse to throw a great party for guests and participants.” Tickets are still on sale online and cost $40, with a designated driver ticket costing $10. There is also an optional donation to the local nonprofits. Your ticket comes with a four-ounce tasting glass and unlimited samples during the festival. Everyone attending must be 21 or older, and no pets are allowed with the exception of service animals. “Definitely get excited for the beer,” Lord said. — Danielle Roberts


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I’m not sure anything drives a narrative quite like revenge. The Escape Room by Megan Goldin proves that point. This story is born out of the need to fight back at those driven by greed and self-interest. I think the listener can largely see where Goldin’s debut novel is going pretty early on, if not concretely then in the abstract, and that’s OK — I certainly didn’t want to stop listening. The listener first finds colleagues Vincent, Sylvie, Jules and Sam attending a mandatory “meeting” on a Friday evening that turns out to be an escape room in an elevator within a new building. The company they work for, Stanhope and Sons, which essentially represents the biggest of the big Wall Street investment firms, is so demanding and all-encompassing, they don’t bat an eye at the strange request. Tensions are heightened as this foursome’s recent performance has started to suffer, leaving them all wondering how much longer they’ll be employees at the prestigious firm. At first, the escape room seems like a simple, hour-long challenge, in which the foursome must solve clues to “escape.” But soon they discover that just solving clues isn’t enough. The elevator lights go out, the heat starts blasting at sauna-like temperatures and later the ventilation system pumps ice-cold air into the small box of a room. It doesn’t take long for tempers to flare. At the same time, in a separate but intertwined storyline, the narration follows the real star of the novel, Sarah Hall, as she is first studying and preparing and then losing hope and then ultimately getting her dream job at Stanhope — which means she gets the good fortune of working with Vincent, Jules, Sylvie and Sam. Working at Stanhope means working each day into the wee hours of the morning and always being available, regardless of what you’re doing or who might have died. This particular point might be somewhat overplayed — I get it, you have to work a lot (but they also pay you gobs of money). And that’s largely OK with Sarah because it means she gets to take home a six-figure salary that helps pay for her parents’ increasing medical bills. She even puts up with her boss and the rest of her close-knit but ruthless and manipulative colleagues, who are all more or less just terrible humans.

After one relatively early Friday night, Sarah and her colleague grab drinks and shots together, and even seem to develop what normal people would call friendship, only for the colleague to immediately give her the cold shoulder the next day at work. Nobody becomes friends at Stanhope. That is, until Sarah and her autistic colleague Lucy meet randomly outside of work. Lucy is brilliant and clearly the brains behind Vincent’s operation, and she isn’t nearly as oblivious as she seems. In fact, she takes it all in, which ends up being her biggest mistake. I enjoyed how this novel played with the themes of good and evil. Sarah and Lucy are obviously “good,” while the rest of their team represents evil in different ways, through selfishness, condescension, superiority, manipulation, and largely through greed. Sarah and Lucy fall into the same world of money until one particular deal leaves them both shaken. Instead of finding a way to buy out and restructure a company without costing hundreds of employees their jobs, the firm opts for the cheapest solution. That moment marks the novel’s key turning point. Sarah is likable, sympathetic and relatable, and brilliant. She opts out of medical school in order to make money sooner to support her ailing parents. Her reasons for joining Stanhope are noble compared to the rest of her team. While the reader isn’t meant to like Sam, Jules or Sylvie for a variety of reasons, Vincent is more complicated. He’s kind to Sarah and gives her an opportunity. He’s likable, if imposing, and conflicted by his own morals. I enjoy how Goldin unravels Vincent. I didn’t love Ramon De Ocampo’s narration; it just sounded fake, but that might have been the point, as he narrated all of the elevator scenes. January LaVoy’s narration of Sarah was on point in creating her entirely good persona. This wasn’t exactly a thrill ride in terms of pure action. Instead, Goldin lets the elevator simply serve as a spark. The characters’ greed, paranoia and insecurities do the rest. B+ — Jeff Mucciarone


FILM REVIEWS BY AMY DIAZ

with First Man — more interested in the quest for moon travel than in Neil Armstrong’s inner turmoil — then you might feel similarly here. Ad Astra has a lot of great visuals and interesting story notes but isn’t quite as masterful as that film. Brad Pitt is the focus of most of what’s happening in this movie — both on screen and in “tis the season” awards discussion — and rightfully so. It’s a restrained performance from him, stripped down and spare compared to his showier role in Once Upon a Time … In Hollywood. As with the movie itself, Pitt’s performance feels interesting, totally fine, but not something I find myself feeling great enthusiasm for. B Rated PG-13 for some violence and bloody images, and for brief strong language, according to the MPAA. Directed by James Gray with a screenplay by James Gray and Ethan Gross, Ad Astra is two hours and two minutes long and is distributed by Twentieth Century Fox Film.

Ad Astra

Ad Astra (PG-13)

Brad Pitt faces the vastness of space and his own emotional turmoil in Ad Astra, a chilly bummer of a space movie.

I double checked my review from last year and I called First Man a downbeat movie about space, which would also be an adequate description here. Looking at that review, I couldn’t entirely do a “find/ replace” subbing in Ad Astra for First Man but those movies would definitely make for a tonally similar double feature. A double feature that might leave you seriously bummed out, so I’m not sure that I’d recommend it. In the not-too-distant future, Roy McBride is an officer with U.S. Space Command which sends its astronauts to the moon and Mars and seems to make stabs at exploration beyond. One such stab, decades earlier, involved Roy’s father, H. Clifford McBride (Tommy Lee Jones), heading out on a mission to the edge of the solar system, where they hoped to get a glimpse at the universe beyond and even find signs of intelligent life. Eventually McBride’s ship vanished and he is believed, at least by Roy, to be long dead. Now, however, the Earth is imperiled from solar flare-like power surges from some unknown source near Neptune. SpaceCom believes that McBride and/or his ship, which was powered by something antimatter something, may be the cause. We see the surges destroy a space station hovering in and above the Earth’s stratosphere and learn that they are causing potentially solar system destroying problems. SpaceCom tasks Roy with attempting to contact his father — spoiler alert? I mean they take a long time to say this directly but I feel like we’re supposed to guess pretty quickly that this is what’s going on — in hopes of being

able to pinpoint and destroy the source of the surges. Roy is a fairly buttoned up guy, so mission-focused and emotionally closed off that his reaction to his wife’s (a barely there Liv Tyler) leaving is sorta “shrug.” Provided with need-to-know information nuggets and constant monitoring of his emotional state, Roy travels to the moon, where he can catch a ride to Mars and an underground outpost that can communicate directly (and fairly quickly) with Neptune. Though Roy isn’t much for outbursts or even facial expressions, he soon finds himself emotionally invested in finding out whether his father is still alive and disobeys orders to attempt to reach him. The world — universe, really — created in Ad Astra is fascinating. Space travel isn’t at Starfleet speeds and there is no United Federation of Planets governing travel to and settlements on the moon and Mars. Instead, it’s regular old people and their recognizable people-like behaviors traveling to and working at these places, thusly we get something vaguely touristy and mall-like at the publicly accessible moon destinations. Because there are territorial disputes over the moon, there are also moon pirates (moon pirates!) and Mars is settled enough that there are people, like Mars outpost head Helen Lantos (Ruth Negga), who have lived most of their lives off Earth. This is all just table setting for the movie’s story, and to the movie’s credit it doesn’t bog us down with too much exposition about how this state of things came to be. However, I found myself a lot more interested in the corners of these stories than I was in Roy and his unresolved issues with his father. I don’t know if that’s a fact of the movie or just my particular taste but I feel like if you felt this way

Rambo: Last Blood (R)

Septuagenarian Sylvester Stallone grunts and enacts vengeance in Rambo: Last Blood, the fifth movie in the Rambo series.

We catch up with John Rambo (Stallone) on a farm in Arizona where he works with horses and lives with his housekeeper? mother-in-law? wife? Maria (Adriana Barraza). This movie’s Wikipedia page calls Maria Rambo’s “old friend” and while I was getting a bit of a wife/girlfriend vibe from the Maria and Rambo relationship, the movie never clarified. Or if it did, somehow in this movie which seems to drag everything out, I missed it. Why does this matter? It doesn’t, but in the vacuum of other things to think about, I found myself wondering why Barraza (who is 63 to Stallone’s 73) isn’t more openly portrayed as Stallone’s romantic partner. It would have been a nice note, a similarly aged (for Hollywood) older couple. I also spent time thinking about Maria’s relationship to Rambo because I couldn’t remember how much information I was supposed to have about Rambo and his current situation coming into this movie. The last time we saw him was 2008 in a movie just called Rambo, wherein Darla from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (or Rita from Dexter, or, you know, just Julie Benz) was a missionary in need of rescue in Myanmar. Apparently, since then, Rambo has returned to Arizona and devoted himself to this new family of Maria, her adult daughter who died of illness at some point prior to the start of our story and Gabrielle (Yvette Monreal), Maria’s teenage granddaughter. Rambo has been something of a surrogate father for her, especially since her biological father ran

off. Now, Gabrielle is eager to find him and find out more about him. Her friend Jezel (Fenessa Pineda), who lives in Mexico, has tracked Gabrielle’s father down and she wants to go see him. Rambo tells her to wait until she’s a little older; Maria angrily reminds Gabrielle what a terrible human being her father is and says that that Jezel is a bad influence. So, naturally, Gabrielle sneaks off down to Mexico to see Jezel and find her terrible father. Once in Mexico, Gabrielle confirms the terribleness of her father and, during a night out with Jezel, the bad influenceness of her friend. When Gabrielle doesn’t return to Arizona, Rambo heads south to find her. Rambo eventually meets the movie’s central baddies, cartel leaders Victor (Óscar Jaenada) and Hugo (Sergio PerisMencheta, who is styled in such a way in this movie that it made me think of Kit Harrington’s Jon Snow, which also is not particularly relevant but again the movie gives you a lot of time to let your mind wander). Because Rambo might understand the darkness in men’s hearts (one of his arguments to Gabrielle for why she shouldn’t seek her father) but overestimates how effective he, as one guy, is going to be against dozens of cartel henchmen, his attempt to locate Gabrielle leads him to get the stuffing knocked out of him. Helpfully, however, investigative journalist Carmen (Paz Vega) finds him and nurses him back to health by explaining some plot exposition about just how awful Victor and Hugo are. Then there’s more fighting. I’m not sure why I was excited for this movie; residual good will for the Rocky and Creed movies, I suppose. But Last Blood is slow grimness followed by slow, merely adequate fight scenes. I get that this movie’s hero is dealing with PTSD, but for that to come through you have to know that going in. The movie substitutes bleakness for character development. I feel like if the movie wants to say something about a man dealing with decades of trauma, it should do that. Or if it wants to just be a movie about a tough guy kicking butt, it should do that. But sprinkling a bit of the former onto the latter doesn’t really do either element any justice. I did not enjoy Rambo: Last Blood. I guess longtime (and diehard) franchise fans might — depending on how bleak they like their action entertainment. C Rated R for strong graphic violence, grisly images, drug use and language, according to the MPAA. Directed by Adrian Grunberg with a screenplay by Matthew Circulnick and Sylvester Stallone, Rambo: Last Blood is an hour and 29 minutes long and distributed by Lionsgate.

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NITE

Laughs for everyone

Comedian Brian Regan coming to Casino Ballroom

Comedian Brian Regan. Courtesy photo.

When Steve Jobs ran Apple he always found a way to give people what they didn’t know they wanted. Brian Regan is a lot like Jobs — rather than read a room and calibrate his set to it, he goes with what he finds funny and lets the crowd come to him. It’s a strategy that’s elevated him into the top echelon of comics. “I have always tried to be careful not to try to figure out what the audience wants; I don’t think that is what performers are supposed to do,” Regan said in a recent phone interview. “It’s a dangerous line to cross. It means you are no longer being interesting, you’re just placating.” Regan also walks a comedic tightrope in his act; he manages to keep everyone believing he’s on their side. In a joke about guns, one of the most polar-

izing topics of all, he’s the only attendee at a convention for people in the middle on the issue, a lonely man in an empty ballroom. “There’s a visual of me just standing there really awkwardly drinking ginger ale looking around … you can be on either side of that and still enjoy it,” he said, noting that some hardliners won’t give in. “I can’t please everybody, so I have to just please myself comedically and hope people will want to come along for the ride.” One of the labels that’s stuck to Regan for years is that he works clean, which is a bit unfair. For example, his bit about theme parks from a 2008 special culminates with a joke about an attraction called “JFK: The Ride” — dark stuff,

even if there aren’t any four-letter words. Asked for an elevator-pitch description of his act, Regan said, “If I had to put it in a handful of words: I try to find the peculiar in the mundane.” It’s tough to describe, he continued. “Somebody once said talking about comedy is like dancing about architecture. I used to have a joke answer when every once in a blue moon somebody asked me that question. I’d say, just to be absurd, ‘My comedy is Kierkegaardian with Machiavellian undertones.’ And a writer one time said, ‘Oh, I can kind of see that.’ I was like, ‘Oh no! Now what do I do?’ How do I explain that I was being ridiculous?” His role on the Peter Farrelly-directed series Loudermilk, now shooting its third

season, provides him with the rare chance to work blue. “It’s interesting for me on two fronts: I get to act, which I never really got to do in my career, and it’s not clean,” he said. The latter is OK because it’s not his act. “I’m serving their creative vision. … I make a clear line between the comedy I create and the comedy that somebody else created,” he said. Stand Up and Away, his most recent Netflix project, was a four-episode series that blended standup, sketches and audience Q&A. With an eye toward newer fans, Regan revived some older material for it, something he normally eschews. “Once I’m done with a bit, I kind of move on,” he said. “But then I thought, people still like these and there are probably a lot of people out there who have never heard them before. I thought it would be a way to showcase them, but in a new way.” Echoing his sold-out 2013 Red Rocks concert, Regan will film his next special at Tuacahn Center for the Arts, a Utah amphitheater built into a rocky box canyon. “A lot of comedians don’t like to perform outdoors. … I’ve always liked it,” he said. “I think my comedy is theatrical enough; I can get away with it. Maybe some other comedians are more heavy on the spoken word without acting things out [and] for them, it’s more challenging. I just found it to be an amazing experience.” — Michael Witthaus Brian Regan When: Saturday, Sept. 28, 8 p.m. Where: Casino Ballroom, 169 Ocean Blvd., Hampton Beach Tickets: $27-$57 at casinoballroom.com

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BEACH BUM FUN JONESIN’ CROSSWORDS BY MATT JONES

“Evened Out” — following the sequence Across 1 Enough, in Italy 6 Shortly, to Shakespeare 10 Gives in to gravity 14 Groove for a letter-shaped bolt 15 Setting for “The Music Man”

16 Paris’s ___ d’Orsay 17 Concerned question 19 “Back in the ___” (Beatles song) 20 Nixes, as a bill 21 Edit menu command

22 Where harmful skin exposure may originate 26 Electrified particle 27 Moines intro 28 270 are required to win the White House (abbr.) 29 Nine of diamonds feature? 30 “American Pie” actress Tara 32 Some karaoke songs 34 Interstellar emissions studied by NASA 39 Former “America’s Got Talent” judge Klum 40 Word on a red sign 43 Pompous type 46 Architect who passed in 2019 47 “Call of Duty: Black ___” 50 Most recent Summer Olym-

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pics host 51 Unwisely responding to an online troublemaker 55 Pageant prop 56 “Yup” 57 “Cantos” poet Pound 58 Intermediaries 62 Stack of paper 63 Map dot 64 Basketball Hall-of-Famer ___ Thomas 65 Concordes, e.g. 66 Egyptian canal 67 Really, really tiny Down 1 “Before I forget,” in texts 2 Cinders 3 Eastern European language, such as in Dvorak’s “Dances” 4 Sacred emblem 5 Like some retired racehorses 6 Broadcasters 7 Yogurt brand named after a Queensland beach town 8 Newman’s ___ 9 Old horse 10 Catcher’s position 11 Queensland resident, e.g. 12 “Beauty and the Beast” antagonist

13 Sounds in car chase scenes 18 Made on a loom 21 It may start out dry in a box 22 Tree with needles 23 Fish eggs 24 Pair, in Paris 25 Bon ___ (indie band with the 2019 album “i,i”) 31 Homer’s outburst 32 Half of MCCII 33 Part of PBS, for short 35 Antique photo tone 36 Appearance 37 “Got it” 38 Entered with much pomp 41 Painting medium 42 D.C. figure 43 Dessert, in England 44 Confiscates 45 Pirate, in old slang 47 “That’s awkward” 48 Flippant 49 “Victory is mine!” character 52 Small units of liquor 53 Ping-pong surface 54 “Wild” star Witherspoon 58 “Saving Private Ryan” extras 59 Beavers’ sch. 60 Rapper Lil ___ X 61 Just short © 2019 Matt Jones

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• Aries (March 21-April 19): Remember, success is the sweetest revenge. Lucky for you, you’re not seeking revenge. • Taurus (April 20-May 20): Implement what you want with complete certainty. At least I think you should. • Gemini (May 21-June 20): Finish what you start, or you will face criticism for not being

• Cancer (June 21-July 22): Facing a crisis, you will control your emotions. Your bowels are another story. • Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): Make positive changes at home. You can start by moving out. • Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): It’s wise to keep your true feelings out of conversations, you cheating liar. • Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Try to approach problems logically. In other words, time for a totally new experience. • Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Love is in the stars, as it sure isn’t anywhere near you. • Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Try new social activities to increase chances of romance, such as visiting the zoo. • Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Keeping secrets is a wise move, so I’m not telling you your horoscope. • Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Loosen up and let your mind wander. OK, that’s enough. • Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): You will find your car keys, but you will lose your sense of purpose in life. Still, you’re ahead.

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SUDOKU

Fill in the grid so that every row, every column, and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 through 9. Answers will appear in next week's paper.

9/19

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BEACH BUM FUN ROCKANDROLLCROSSWORDS.com BY TODD SANTOS

BRING YOUR PUZZLE TO LIFE Across

1. Iron Butterfly ‘In-A-__-Da-Vida’ 6. __ jazz 10. STP ‘Heaven And Hot __’ 14. Trapt ‘Only __ __ Color’ (3,2) 15. “If I only had a dollar for every song I’ve sung” CCR song 16. ‘If It Makes You Happy’ Sheryl 17. CA ‘Freaking Out’ nu-metal band

18. Like unused studio time 19. Bancroft that played ‘Mrs Robinson’ 20. English ‘Jim’ soul singer Jamie 22. Melissa Etheridge ‘__ __ Am’ (3,1) 24. Kinks “Sipping at my ice cold beer, lazing __ __ sunny afternoon” (2,1) 25. What you do at sweltering festivals, slang 27. Stereophonics saw a ‘Bright’ one in the

sky (3,4) 29. Hank Williams “What can I do? You __ __” (3,5) 33. ‘Coney Island Baby’ Reed, post-Velvet Underground 34. Jimmy Buffett’s canine-influenced lyrics “You’re better off with __ __” (1,3) 35. Living Colour guitarist Vernon 37. ‘02 Avril Lavigne album (3,2) 41. J Geils 80s hit (1,2) 42. Jonsi Birgisson band __ Ros 44. 80s skater movie ‘Send Me An Angel’ was theme song in 45. Introvert musician, perhaps 48. Alt-country crooner Case 49. Evanescence ‘Bring __ __ Life’ (2,2) 50. Amy of Evanescence 52. ‘You Make Me Feel Like Dancing’ singer (3,5) 54. Giant record label: __ __ Music Enter-

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tainment (4,3) 58. Disturbing Eminem hit 59. Pearl Jam ‘Who You __’ 60. Hallelujah-inspired Kid Rock song, perhaps 62. ‘02 ‘The Game Of Love’ Santana album 66. Matthew Sweet will sing you ‘The __ Truth’ 68. Barenaked Ladies song named after city west of Tulsa? 70. Like Peter Criss, The Catman? 71. Bluesy JJ 72. 60s Paul Simon group __ And The Triumphs 73. What Frankie Goes To Hollywood said to do 74. Ethereal ‘Watermark’ singer 75. Kind of idol 76. Stevie Wonder ‘Moments ___ Moments’

Down

1. To hit #1 is a lofty one 2. Famous musical The King __ __ (3,1) 3. Petra ‘Believer In __’ 4. Also known as “Diamond” Darrell 5. Signal using non-quantized variations in frequency 6. Soundtrack for Will Smith boxing movie 7. Neo Soul Chestnutt 8. ‘12 Fiona Apple album ‘The __ Wheel’ 9. ‘87 Midnight Oil album ‘__ And Dust’ 10. Company with a dog in its logo 11. Gil Scott-Heron ‘Ready __ __’ (2,3) 12. Ritchie Valens’ girl

Pease Care Packages

13. Evanescence “Don’t cling to me, I __ I can’t fix you” 21. Ian Thomas song about untrue people 23. ‘Cyberpunk’ Billy 26. Brother Cane ‘I __ __ The Bed I Make’ (3,2) 28. Buddy Holly ‘Peggy __’ 29. Jam, slang 30. Simple Plan ‘__ __ Anything’ (2,2) 31. The Jam ‘Tonight At ___’ 32. Peter Green pal Watson 36. Steve Earle’s band 38. Phish leader Anastasio 39. Jackson Browne ‘Sleep Dark & Silent __’ 40. The bus’ gets stronger as tour goes on 43. Rancid ‘__ Radicals’ 46. Honky Tonk Texan Joe 47. Country’s ‘What If It’s You’ McEntire 49. He takes care of the band 51. Rik of Triumph 53. Natalie Cole sang of ‘Snowfall On’ this desert 54. G Love “My baby’s got __, your baby ain’t sweet like mine” 55. Electric or pipe key instrument 56. Whoa, ___! 57. Canadian award for Original Score 61. Dixie Chicks ‘Not Ready To Make __’ 63. Everlast “Had to walk a __ in his shoes” 64. Yes drummer White 65. ‘02 Chevelle album ‘Wonder What’s __’ 67. Pro vote for song inclusion 69. ‘American Pie’ McLean © 2019 Todd Santos

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NEWS OF THE WEIRD BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

Bright idea

Joshua Jack of Auckland, New Zealand, received an email from his bosses at an ad agency informing him that he was expected at a “redundancy meeting” to discuss his future at the company. Kindly, the New Zealand Herald reported, they suggested he was welcome to bring along a support person, such as a friend or family member. “Sensing the bad news, I decided I’d need the best support person available,” Jack wrote on Facebook, “so I spent $200 ($127 U.S.) to hire a clown.” As the co-workers discussed Jack’s exit, the clown blew up balloons and folded them into animals. He mimed crying when Jack was handed his final paperwork. Jack said his bosses found the humor in the situation, and he has already landed another job.

The dog did it

Thomas Barnes, 58, got an unpleasant surprise in his bill from DirectTV in August after his dog, Marino, jumped up on Barnes’ bed and pressed a remote button that mistakenly ordered pay-per-view from the Hustler channel. Barnes immediately called his service provider and explained the snafu, and he was assured that the charges would be removed. But the X-rated content remained, so after making a second call and getting no satisfaction, Barnes paid his next bill — minus $70. Then his service was canceled altogether. Finally, Barnes complained to the Federal Communications Commission, which prompted a call from DirectTV, promising a credit on his next bill. “There’s a problem when there’s a mistake and you expect me to pay for the mistake,” Barnes told the Raleigh News and Observer.

There’s a rule for everything

Followers of Emily Post who are floundering with the rules for making toast ... er, getting toasted will want to pick up the new book from her great-great-granddaughter, Lizzie Post. According to The New York Times, “Higher Etiquette: A Guide to the World of Cannabis, From Dispensaries to Dinner Parties” offers tidbits of advice for a variety of situations, to wit: Don’t eat all the munchies. Avoid words like “pothead” and “weed,” which can have negative connotations. Tip your “budtender” well, as he or she probably makes minimum wage. “Etiquette,” Post reminds us, “can be so easy.”

Awesome!

the project in three days and made sure it was street legal before taking it out on the road. WEAR TV reported on Sept. 10 that the vehicle is a “permanent convertible,” but Moore keeps a scuba mask and snorkel on board in case they get caught in the rain.

Seems like a theme

• After Hurricane Dorian moved away from the U.S. southeast coast, a couple from Summerville, South Carolina, strolled out to Folly Beach to see what had washed up. Their efforts were rewarded when they stumbled on two cannonballs from the Civil War. “When we first found the one, my girlfriend thought it was a rock,” Aaron Lattin said. “But when I started to dig around it, it was very round. ... We came back the next day and we found the larger cannonball tucked away in the brush, and that’s when we contacted authorities.” WCIV reported that after Hurricane Matthew in 2016, 16 cannonballs were found in that same spot. “The whole Charleston area is exactly where the Civil War began, so to find something causes you to look back and realize what a big part of history that was, it’s very exciting,” Lattin remarked. • Jeff Eastham, hired to remove a dead tree on a historic property in Independence, Missouri, in early September, was surprised when a small Civil War cannonball fell out of one of the branches. The property is the site of the Overfelt-Johnston house, which served as a hospital during the first Battle of Independence. Owner Randall Pratt told KMBC that it wasn’t the first cannonball they’d found on the property: “When the property was restored in 1980, there was a cannonball that had been shot into the wall, just to the left of the upstairs window,” Pratt said. In addition to the newest munition, a half-dozen old chains were found embedded in the tree. Pratt said he would keep the cannonball to display in the historic home.

if you’re headed outside down under, you’ll want to carry a big stick with you. September and October are the height of magpie swooping season, when nesting magpies are known to attack walkers, runners and bike riders in defense of their young. While they’re only 12 inches long or so, 7News reported, the black-and-white birds can cause a lot of pain with their sharp beaks. Last year, a toddler was nearly blinded, and this year a man who was attacked as he rode his bike veered off the path and crashed, later dying of head injuries. “They’re never trying to hurt anyone or be malicious,” ornithologist Gisela Kaplan said. “It’s all about risk assessment.”

Extreme measures

Twenty-two-year-old Erik Villasenor of Sylmar, California, REALLY didn’t want to go to the Los Angeles County Fair on Sept. 15 with his parents. Evidently, his determination was great that he thought it was appropriate to send an email to fair staff around 2:45 p.m. on Sept. 13, with an alarming warning: “Hello, I was told that someone was planning on doing a mass shooting on Sunday at the fairgrounds. I just wanted to inform you guys already.” Naturally, Fox News reported, Villasenor’s

email set off a chain of events involving the police department, FBI and anti-terror liaisons. Villasenor eventually admitted to authorities that it was a hoax and was arrested just a few hours later.

Oh, the stupidity!

Tyler Uher — whom Ohio University has explicitly confirmed is NOT a student at the institution -- suffered numerous injuries on Sept. 13, after he climbed an electric pole near the Athens, Ohio, campus to the cheers of a raucous crowd below. At the top, Uher, who had been drinking, grabbed a live wire, which sent sparks flying and set his hand on fire, reported the Daily Mail. He then lost his footing and fell to the ground, about 30 feet below. One witness was shaken: “I thought he was dead. There’s no explanation for him living.” His injuries included three broken leg bones, four breaks in his back, numerous burns and other fractures. Uher’s sister, Danielle, started a GoFundMe page to help pay his medical bills, but some weren’t having it: Comments included, “What in the name of God were you thinking?” Athens police said that Uher may be charged with criminal mischief. Visit newsoftheweird.com.

Hair-brained crime

In the overnight hours of Sept. 17, thieves targeting Prime Trading Hair and Wigs in Miami Gardens, Florida, rammed the front door repeatedly and eventually made off with $70,000 to $80,000 worth of wigs, some worth as much as $800 apiece, reported WFOR. Business owner Rakib Hossain said the thieves “knew where the expensive products were, and they knew everything about the stock room.” Thankfully, he was insured for his losses. In a strange twist, the burglary at Prime Trading follows a similar incident two weeks earlier, right across the street at Subi Training Inc., where criminals stole up to $100,000 worth of products including many wigs.

Gerry Moore’s goal with his latest project is “making people smile,” and it’s working. The Pensacola, Florida, man built a “boat car,” a hybrid vehicle that looks like a boat on top but motors along the street on the chassis of a Ford Expedition. Moore’s News you can use It’s springtime in Australia, which means wife, Karen, said her husband completed

SEACOAST SCENE | SEPTEMBER 26 - OCTOBER 2, 2019 | PAGE 38

PETS OF THE WEEK The New Hampshire SPCA in Stratham has more than just cats and dogs available for adoption; we also have a wide variety of small animals looking for homes, like Eleanor and Penelope, two young rabbits that are friendly and sweet. These sisters love to be held and thrive on affection. They love to explore. They have lived with children in their previous home. Rabbits make wonderful pets. They are curious, social and very smart. Bunnies can be trained to use a litter box and can even learn to do tricks. This September, “It’s A Small World” at the NHSPCA — to help encourage small animal adoptions, take 50 percent off your adoption fee on all small animals through Sept. 30.


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