Page 56

IAN HUNTER

T

he first advert appeared on our screens on Christmas day and was estimated to have gathered a viewing figure of over 20 million, which had little to do with the advert itself, but because it appeared during King Charles’ speech. There he was, droning on about global warming and the loss of sites of special scientific interest, when suddenly, we were in an alley following a man with a pit bull terrier. Millions of people must have said, “What is this?” and picked up their remote controls, only to find the same scene on every channel. There was the sound of footsteps running alongside the camera, and a voice. “Hey, didn’t I see you dealing at the primary school last week?” “Fuck off,” the man snarled. “How many kids have you got hooked?” “Satan,” was all the command needed to start the dog growling. “Okay, okay,” muttered the off-screen voice. Dog and owner continued walking and there was little noise until the roar of a vehicle, and the screech of breaks. Then another roar, not of a machine, but a wild beast. The king of the jungle. Two kings – stolen from a Safari park several weeks earlier – loping down the alley. The drug dealer turned and the camera zoomed in, catching a fleeting instant of bewilderment on the man’s face, then sheer terror as the lion’s bounds ate up the distance between them, before eating the owner. The pit bull terrier was made of sterner stuff, but the other lion still triumphed in the end. The camera watched as three men wearing stockings over their heads walked towards the feeding lions, and bent down to touch a bloody severed limb. They raised their hands and smeared blood across the part of the stocking that covered their mouths. “Don’t sell drugs to children,” said one. “Or anyone else,” said another, while the third held a card with four words on it towards the camera. AN ANARCHIC ADVERTS PRESENTATION Static crashed across the screen and the nation was back with the King. The second advert appeared during a late night showing of the film “Mission Impossible 5”, towards the end when Tom Cruise is fighting his clone on the - 54 -

Estronomicon Christmas 2008  

The eZine of fantasy, sci-fi and horror

Estronomicon Christmas 2008  

The eZine of fantasy, sci-fi and horror

Advertisement