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PAUL KANE Vanishing all the markings off the carpet.” His mother laughed. “Your father just thought, you’re into monsters. You want a pet. Why not put the two together?” The monster had climbed out of the box now and was sniffing around, crawling on all fours. “He’s certainly more lively than he was last night,” observed Jacob’s dad. “The materialisation really took it out of him.” The creature was sniffing the sofa, trying to work out exactly what it was. When it brought its ‘nose’ away it left a string of snot behind. “Does it have a name?” asked Jacob. “Actually, he does, yes. It’s…now hold on a minute, I want to get this right.” His dad picked up an ancient-looking book that he’d left on the coffee table and began flipping through the pages. He stopped at the one he wanted, tapping it as if he’d just found something in a catalogue – which wasn’t too far from the truth. “Ah, here he is – in ‘Chaos Demons from the Twenty-seventh Circle’. His name’s Xzyolocolyopiacocklysis, but I guess that’s a bit of a mouthful.” At that exact moment the creature bit into the side of the sofa and ripped away a huge chunk of material and foam. He began chewing, then swallowed it whole. “Isn’t he cute?” said Jacob’s mother. “I think I’m going to call him Freckles,” stated Jacob, pointing to the lighter scales on the demon’s cheeks. “Freckles it is then,” said his father, slamming shut the book. The creature belched loudly then, moments later, crawled into the middle of the living room and proceeded to squat, squeezing out a huge, steaming turd. “Oh, would you look at that!” said Jacob’s mother in a shrill voice. “Fast metabolism,” said her husband. “I’ll have to get the Vanish out again.” Jacob’s dad chuckled and winked at his son. “Too much fibre is all, and he’s not housetrained yet.” Jacob laughed as well, and then thanked them both for such a cool Christmas present. In fact, none of his other gifts really matched up (DVDs, computer games…not even money), but Jacob would write thank you notes to all the people who sent - 43 -

Estronomicon Christmas 2008  

The eZine of fantasy, sci-fi and horror

Estronomicon Christmas 2008  

The eZine of fantasy, sci-fi and horror

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