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In The Beginning. A potted history of Badger Tours

Managing Editor: Floo’ers / Publisher: Badgerpress Inc.

Contents Chapter 1


Chapter 2

Editor’s Notes

Chapter 3


Chapter 4


Chapter 5


Chapter 6


Chapter 7


Chapter 8


Chapter 9


Chapter 10


Chapter 11


Chapter 12


Chapter 13


Chapter 14


Chapter 1 Introduction


t is probably inevitable when setting down the history and the origins some TEN years in retrospect that it can be

very subjective and it really depends on what the founder tourists can remember !

Can we really recall what went on all those years ago and how things were back then. Reminiscences have probably been clouded over the years by alcohol, age and infirmity and there will be elements of what had been forgotten will just be made-up. But we’re not going to let little things like truth or accuracy spoil a good story? Are we now ? !

We cannot separate the origins of Badger Tours/ Golfing Badgers with the Blackhall Bridge Club and the good old Blackhall Lounge itself.

The BBC was founded sometime between 2004 and 2006 to meet in the Blackie as the established gang hut of several of several like-minded Ravelston Golf Club Members. This coincided with the arrival at The Blackie of the new Monday/Tuesday Mine Host, one JOHN ‘SKIMPY’ MACDONALD (1953 -2017 )


kimpy did have his own, unique style and was frequently up for a lock-in. We needn’t have worried about retribution from the management as there was invariably a knock at the door around midnight from Malcolm the owner wishing

to participate!

Famous Blackhall Lounge Moments

Malcolm once famously said to Skimpy that he was looking to replace him with a leggy, statuesque blonde barmaid as a way of attracting more custom.

Colin’s auld Aunties in hats – holding court !

Skimpy’s pithy reply was “Malcolm – I may not be braw but at least the punters get the

Catering arrangements – Pies are aff !

shinty results “ nuff said !

Whusky Nights! Police stories – (Baseball Bats !!!!!!!) MI-5 tales – ‘My name is Pants… Old Pishy Pants ‘ Joe Regan –‘ Don’t hever change’ …. ! G… G…. Gorbachov ! T’was a hot sticky night in the heilands !!! Lowrie’s dug having a slash on the puggy !! Late night dancing – Gerry doing the Bossa Nova we think! And of course – Bald Puss !

The golf section evolved and a possible tour to foreign parts gained impetus when Gerry, bless him, acquired a luxury pad at Lakeside Village in Quinta do Lago in the heart of the Algarve. A Tour was on and the first venture in 2007 was a fourball!

Chapter 2 Editor’s Notes


Bodily function incidents (Front Trouser Variety) have been reported ! Oh, how we laughed when TWG had a little local difficulty on the Airport Bus with no lifeboat or spare breeks readily available !

number of reminiscences, reportable incidents and sundry other occurrences have been passed to the Hon. Editor! This is excellent and I am sure will enhance the Official Golfing Badgers records.

And who can forget a giggling Badger nocturnally marking his territory – SQUELCH, SQUELCH !

Many of these occurrences as expected, involve our dear departed Skimpy and it just goes to show how central the Man from Lochaber was to Golfing on the

We had a remarkable evening in Snr Frangos (Piri Piri Chicken a speciality) and

Algarve over the years.

TWG having a personal and somewhat riotous red wine fest ! Unfortunately

Few of the anecdotes have dates attached so it is appropriate that we merely list them, smile at the content and probably twitter at what has befallen our fellow tourists and feel glad we haven’t been reported – YET !

It was Lovejoy’s first tour back in the day and the chums were dining in a modest but perfectly acceptable Pizzeria in Almancil. We had been told that Lovejoy was top man in most things antique but we were unaware that his talents extended to fine wines. He was to taste and send back many bottles of the house finest, before admitting quietly that he couldn’t tell the difference from a good Irn Bru and a bad Chateau Lafitte ! The ditty ‘SEND IT BACK, SEND IT BACK TO DINGWALL’ was born this evening! For the record we did enjoy our meal and all got thoroughly pissed – Now there’s a surprise !

more was spilt than drunk and most of the other diners were too frightened to hand around. Amazingly we were not asked to leave – We were good customers – Always Welcome !

The Man From Lochaber


e did wonder why Skimpy came on tour with a very large suitcase! He had only brought his washing and he was to avail

himself of Gerry’s Twin Tub and Tumbly Dry-Oot! The steam iron was not deployed! The bold boy was identified as the Phantom Nibbler ! His white moustache solved the disappearing milk mystery and the denture marks in the cheese slab indisputedly put the Lochaber Loon in the frame for the fromage heist !

The Tour Wall Flower

When the team were doing the big shop at Pingo Doce in Almancil a hungry Skimp obtained a rather large but tough pork fillet baguette

He did ask for many other offences to be taken into

– this was an almighty challenge and he asked some of the chums to

consideration including – (a) the abduction of toilet rolls from

chew it for him ! WHAT A BOY !

apartments, (b) singing of bawdy songs and (c) personal bodily abuse in the early hours of the morning!

On one occasion post arrival we were enjoying a glass of fine rouge when Long Tom announced that he had mislaid the Pipe Major! ‘HE

Skimpy did decline the offer of a much needed frothy coffee


prior to our round at The Old Course. Fearing a major huff he

GONE’ I assumed he wanted to take the bus LT told the authorities !

was asked diplomatically if anything was amiss – but no sweat, he had just effected a superglue repair to his falsers and was waiting for the adhesive to set !

Then there was Patti La who collected the wrong clubs at the airport – They were clearly marked ! – But enough said. We await publication of the memoirs for the explanation! Then there is the Badger who wondered why his golf bag seemed heavier. It took him 3 days to discover that a boulder had been put in! Who was the culprit ? Answers on a postcard, please!!!

Chapter 3

Golf Highlights



ighlight was undoubtedly the birdie fest at the Old Course where FLOO’ERS/GUFFIE saw off BADGER/COMMISARY – 10 and 8 …. Yes… you read that correctly …. 10 holes up and 10 leaving 8 to

play, ensuring the perfect granny. Also the incident at 17th at Quinta South where Gerry conned TWG into taking a driver off the tee. The ball ended up in deep woodland. How Guffie managed to put his next shot to the fringe of the green and get the regulation par we will never

Gerry Boobis


Colin Harkins


Jim Lowrie

Ian Forrest



know (he claims it was a 3 wood that he drew round the first tree, faded it round the next copse, elevated it over the last copse then made it ducked down with top spin to run it up to the fringe). What made this worse was Badger was on in two after a perfect 7 iron and 3 putted to give TWG the overall victory.



From memory we played • Quinta North

Non Golf Highlights

• Quinta South • The Old Course, Vilamoura

Colin going COLD TURKEY having just given up the fags – taking to his bed in the

• Vila Sol

afternoon a shivering wreck !!

• And also Vale de Lobo where TWG took on the hotel with a 5 iron and really gave the

Jim taking us on a quest to the restaurants of Vilamoura in search of FISH

drinkers on the balcony a fright !

CATAPLANA – we’d never heard of it ! Being made aware of Jim’s SUPERMARKET FETISH !

The emergence of Gerry’s comic timing -there is really no chance of a career in stand up. Floo’ers indisposition – after a rather good meal where he had drunk rather well but perhaps unwisely – creating a bio-hazard in the area opposite the apartment. Years before the authorities granted planning permission!

The sight of our golf clubs being removed from the plane on the runway at Faro prior to our return journey – URGH ! (we got them back within the week!!)

STATISTICS AND RESULTS Can’t remember – almost certainly none kept!

All in all a superb first tour !

In The Beginning  
In The Beginning  

A potted history of Badger Tours