How to Guide:
‘ Psychic’ Detective Edition Based on Scary Sherrie from Psych Narrated and illustrated by Sarah Cortez
Never leave a crime scene screaming. Ghost:
Get out! Ack-cn-aib! Ack-en-aib! Ack-en-aib!
Gus & Shawn: Ahhhhhhh! Shawn:
Get in the car! We’re going to die!
Make it open! Make the door open!
Make the door open! Shawn!
Always take your cases seriously. Gus:
Okay make all your little jokes, but I know who was right behind me all the way to the car.
Shawn: I had no choice. You were my ride home. Gus:
Shawn, you were screaming, too.
Shawn: Yes, I was screaming, “Gus, stop! Let’s be brave!” 3
Start piecing together clues and claim to have a psychic vision. Shawn: Why is your friend Bianca dead? I can see it. I can see her running down the hallway of the asylum. Wait a second. Doreen wasn’t supposed to die. This was an accident. The wood. The wood was rotten. The latch broke. Betty: Yes, yes, it broke! That’s it. Don’t you see? We never meant for her to fall! It was a complete accident! 4
If there are no other leads, pick a suspect and blame it on them. Shawn: Until we have another lead, we assume it’s her. We’ve just got to figure out the “how.”
Sneak into crime scenes in order to gather information illegally. Shawn: Here’s the plan. You ring the doorbell and distract the person that answers the door. I’ll go around back, figure out a way in. Gus:
Are you kidding? It took the whole ride to come up with that?
Shawn: Well, feel free to make revisions, Gus. 6
How am I supposed to distract them?
Shawn: Oh, you’ll think of something. Good luck. We’re all counting on you.
Come up with a solid plan to do this before acting. Gus:
Poppy: No, the Harthans are down at the cemetery. I’m poppy, the housekeeper. May I help you? Gus: Um, yes. Have you seen Mrs. Pickles? Mrs. Pickles, my orange tabby? You must have seen her. She’s pregnant with who knows how many unborn tabby kittens, and I’ve lost her! 8
Always have an escape plan. *phone rings* Gus:
Hello? It’s her.
Mrs. Pickles. She’s home.
At the last possible moment, piece everything together and solve the crime. Shawn: Meanwhile, Juliet’s at some candlelight vigil with Doreen’s family at the asylum. Gus:
Wait no, no, no The housekeeper just said Doreen’s parents were at the cemetery
Shawn: What? Gus:
Shawn: Oh, god. Of course. Why mess around with the worker bees when you can kill the queen? Gus:
What are you talking about, Shawn?
Shawn: Gus, Alice! She wanted us all at that party, including us, so that she could get Mary Lou by herself!
Set ground rules with your partner. Gus:
Okay, Shawn, if I’m going to go back to that creepy institution I’ve been afraid to drive by since I was nine, there’s going to be some rules and regulations.
Shawn: Gus, this is no time for fun.
Gus: Listen, Shawn! I will not enter a room first. I will not enter a room last. I will not investigate any suspicious noises, or go looking for a fuse box, and you will not, under any circumstance, leave me by myself without a weapon of some sort. Do you understand and agree to my terms?
Never leave a man behind. Gus:
Woah! We made a deal, Shawn! Get it out! Get it out!
Shawn: Pull your foot out of the shoe! Gus:
I can’t! It’s too tight! Shawn, Shawn, don’t leave me, Shawn. That was rule number five.
Shawn: Wiggle your big toe! Gus:
I can’t wiggle my big toe
Shawn: Dude! Gus:
Shawn: Work the laces.