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112 ISSUE 24 WEEK 4

Bond University's Weekly Student Publication

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Scope

Candyland Edition


CONTENTS Editor’s Report

Scope Week 4: Take two.

The ingredients? 100+ profanities. 40 hours of sleeplessness. 27 hours of InDesign. 12 cups of coffee. 1 box of tissues. To make up for Scope’s absence yesterday; we’ve chucked a secret ingredient into the mix just to make it extra special. It’s a little piece of our souls. You’re welcome. Breathe in the pungent smell of insanity as it wafts out of the candy coloured pages. Soak it up. Don’t be surprised if you see people rubbing Scope all over themselves; they’re trying to capture the delicious scent. Blood, sweat and tears went into this edition so you know it’s good.

Weekly Busa Report

03

Refugee Debate

04

Why The Christian Lobby Will Never Speak For Me

07

Bondy Bullshark Running Club

09

Photos

10

Socrates: Wrong or Just Ignorant?

15

CPA Big Break

17

Scope Announcements

19

Reviews

20

Weekly Res Wars Report

22

One Minute With...

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Andra.Nasrie..............Chief of Staff

Jorja.Wallace.........................Editor Milly.Arsic................. Sub Editor

Delirium aside, we’ve actually cooked up a fantastic issue for your hungry, hungry brain; so go ahead, take a bite.

Mona.Mizikovsky ................. Sub Editor

The impartiality train reaches the end of the line on pages 4 and 5 this week. Get off and decide which direction you’re going to take because there’s no room for fence sitters.

Mitch. Hammer...........Photographer

And if that doesn’t tickle your fancy, Scope’s most infamous contributor is making her comeback on page 7. Heated discussion will undoubtedly follow on the rather sensitive topic, peppered with a little ‘Duck Sauce’ of course. The centre of Scope will visually appeal to all Pavlova attendees last week, with a jampacked three page spread of the most anticipated photos of this semester. Finally, we at Scope have prepared a few announcements to act as the after dinner mint to your multi-topical feast. Turn to page 19 for information on how to contribute, and to learn about the new ‘Scope Phone’. Goodnight, and good luck. Jorja Wallace

Shannan.Smith ................. Sub Editor

Andrew.Keep ...........Photographer

Kenny.Kagiah ...........Photographer

Mitch.Hammer....................Designer

bondstudents.com facebook.com/scope.bond email us at: scope.bond@gmail.com Cover photo by Kenny Kagiah


Weekly BUSA Report

Alumni Student Excellence Medal for Creative Arts SUBMISSIONS NOW OPEN!

Henry Norris Vice-President (Education)

Guidelines • All students are eligible to enter

Fancy yourself as a bit of a Shakespeare, or Picasso? Frustrated that you rarely have the chance to let your creative beast run wild by splashing paint onto canvas, scribbling stories onto paper, or capturing that amazing sunset on camera? Well, when you next climb Bond’s thinking steps and have that brilliant light bulb moment of pure genius, pick up your pen, paintbrush or camera, and get creative. You may just win $500 as a result!

• Students must submit an original piece which relates to the competition theme • For Creative Writing, poems should not exceed 500 words, scripts of any description should not exceed 15 pages and short stories should not exceed 2,000 words

BUSA presents: the 2011 Alumni Student Excellence Medal for Creative Arts.

• For Visual Arts, entries may comprise a series of photos or collection of items, but must be capable of being exhibited as one work

Budding writers, painters, playwrights, drawers, journalists, photographers, poets, or sculptors, BUSA is now calling for submissions for the inaugural Alumni Student Excellence Medal for Creative Arts. This competition is new to Bond and is a chance for you to showcase your creative talents and exhibit an original piece of creative art.

• There is a limit of one entry per student, however, students may choose to submit an entry for both divisions • All submissions must be received no later than Wednesday Week 10 (20 July 2011). For Creative Writing, entries must be lodged electronically by email to Special Interests Director, Jordan Pollock, at jordan.pollock@student.bond.edu.au. For Visual Arts, entries must be physically brought into the Student Association office during office hours.

The competition will have two divisions: 1. Creative Writing: $500 Winner, $250 Runner Up 2. Visual Arts: $500 Winner, $250 Runner Up Theme • Creative Writing: Journey • Visual Arts: Destination

For more information, please contact Jordan Pollock on the email address provided above.

An artist cannot fail; it is a success to be one. Charles Horton Cooley

Art is the only way to run away without leaving home. Twyla Tharp

All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once you grow up. Pablo Picasso

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Australia, don’t be evil

DEB

Mona Mizikovsky and Q.M Noakhtar

Let’s address a little semantic problem. There are ‘refugees’ and there are ‘people smugglers’. They are different. According to the Refugee Convention that Australia helped draft and 147 states of the United Nations are party to, a refugee (not a people smuggler) is: “A person who owing to a well-founded fear of being persecuted for reasons of race, religion, nationality, membership of a particular social group or political opinion, is outside the country of his nationality and is unable or, owing to such fear, is unwilling to avail himself of the protection of that country; or who, not having a nationality and being outside the country of his former habitual residence as a result of such events, is unable or, owing to such fear, is unwilling to return to it.” They are the poor human beings who, for reasons of life and death, are forced to leave their homes, jobs, family, culture and language in order to survive. They’re not here because they prefer the weather. People smugglers are persons who capitalise on the dire circumstances of others. They’re basically the savvy businessmen/woman who promise refugees the paradise they have sought for so long. People smugglers charge exorbitant fees for an unsafe, ill-advised, life-threatening journey over the oceans to Australia. People smugglers are horrible human beings and I applaud the Australian Government acting to deteriorate their ‘business’. See the semantic difference now? Refugees and people smugglers are two completely different groups and must be treated as such. Australia’s obligations under the Refugee Convention are pretty much the same as Google’s motto: don’t be evil. If someone is a refugee, then they should be afforded basic ‘human rights’. This phrase represents an amalgam of concepts that essentially means ‘with dignity’. That’s hard to pin down, but the right to food and shelter, the right to education, freedom of movement (i.e. beyond the Woomera fences) and freedom of assembly (and not just with other people in orange jumpsuits) are specifically defined. The government has attempted to deny refugees their right of access to a court system for the better part of a decade – a farce which the High Court has finally put a stop to in a unanimous seven-judge judgment last year (Plaintiff M61/2010E v Commonwealth of Australia; Plaintiff M69 of 2010 v Commonwealth of Australia). Australian legislation fails to meet its international obligations in protecting those persons most in need - providing ‘asylum’. Refugees who are brought to Australia illegally by people smugglers are detained in prison-like conditions in detention centres while we investigate

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whether they are a threat to our national security. Fair enough. It might be necessary to impose some limitations on movement until claims are assessed. The real difficulty is, ‘but for how long?’ A detention period of (say) four years has been classed as ‘arbitrary detention’ by the UN Human Rights Committee. (For the record, arbitrary detention would be considered ‘evil’). Under the Migration Act, we taxpayers will buy a potential refugee a one-way flight ‘home’ if they decide that several years in detention is enough. We should not be so naïve as to ignore the perverse incentives that this gives the Government to take their time. (And knowingly sending people back to countries where we know they are going to be: tortured, beaten, killed, stoned to death etc is a violation of the ‘principle of refoulment’ and most certainly ‘evil’). We might as well lock up the thousands of foreign students who arrive by plane on a student visa intending to file a refugee application. After all, we do the same background checks on them and it may take just as long. Why are they given free reign to roam around? I haven’t found a reasonable ideological or legal basis for this differential treatment (which, by the way, violates Article 31 of the Refugee Convention). All of these factors raise complex political issues – but legally, it’s actually pretty simple. (1) refugees are not criminals, it is evil to put them behind bars for periods of time sufficient to demoralize them enough to sow their lips shut (take a minute and think what you’d have to go through to reach that point). People smugglers are criminals and should be put behind bars. (2) People who come by boats are not cooler than people who come by planes and there is no good reason to lock up team-boat but not team-plane. If anything, the latter pisses me off more. (3) Don’t listen to a word I’m saying, but don’t listen to the fear mongers either; read whatever you can find and decide for yourself. (4) Don’t be evil.


BATE

Don’t abuse the system Christopher Dolling

Refugees. Boat People, as the more controversial asylum seekers are known. They battle across wild oceans in leaking, flimsy boats, dodging pirates, people smugglers, brutality; fleeing from the hell that was once their home. They’re alone, destitute, shit out of luck and with nowhere else to turn. Should we welcome them as equals and give them shelter? Hell no. That’s the answer some will give; generally whilst proudly displaying “Fuck Off, We’re Full” stickers on the back of their lowered Holden or Ford, pumping enough low frequency bass into the air to make you wonder how the windows manage to stay attached to the vehicle. But is there merit to their protests? What attracts asylum seekers to Australia? We have the highest standard of living in the Australasian Region, are a signatory to the UNHCR Refugee Convention and, perhaps most importantly of all, we’re willing to let them in. This last reason, in my mind, is a potential problem. Yes, I concede that we have obligations spelt out in our domestic legislation and in international treaties ratified by Australia. Yes, I concede that we have a moral duty to protect our fellow human beings and ensure their safety. But we also have a duty to our fellow Australians. Asylum seekers receive permanent protection visas. For all intents and purposes, they are permanent residents; they enjoy a legal status that qualified, highly capable people with decades of valuable industry experience have to wait years to attain. They won’t be sent back to their home country; in fact, they can bring their family here with them. Yes, they have access to financial support, free healthcare and employment assistance; services which anyone who earns an income of more than $40,000 a year has no chance of receiving (Have you heard of anyone living a comfortable life on $40K a year? I haven’t). All they do is sign a piece of paper that says they’ll abide by Australian values. *

That’s great, but what about our own poor? The Sun, a community newspaper, ran a front page article last week about a mother and son who slept in their car because they couldn’t afford housing. In every city in Australia, people sleep on the streets, in parks, under bridges, in their cars, while refugees sleep blissfully in apartments paid for by the public. There’s a lot to be said for fixing domestic problems before tackling world problems. But here’s a dismaying, yet unsurprising revelation - refugees bypassing acceptable countries in a bid to reach Australia. The ABC reported in November of 2009 that asylum seekers involved in one standoff with the navy had been living quite comfortably in Indonesia for up to five years prior to their dash for Australia.** These are registered, processed refugees, accepted by Indonesia and the UNHCR, who chose to get on a boat and try to make it to Australia anyway. Its official, we’re now the destination of choice for asylum seekers. Someone could profit from this - but wait, the people smugglers have already cornered the market. The steady trickle of refugees has become a torrent. New boats are intercepted every day, carrying refugees from Afghanistan, Sri Lanka, China, Indonesia, Iraq, among other places. The government spends millions in taxpayer dollars to put asylum seekers up in hotels, while Australians sleep on the streets and in Salvation Army centres. Asylum seekers get access to Medicare, while hundreds of thousands of Australians with mental disabilities are ignored and shoved into the background. Eight-five per cent of accepted asylum seekers are on the dole rather than at work, while thousands of Australians line up at soup kitchens and go hungry at night. Australia is a major player on the world stage. We have international responsibilities that we cannot shirk. We have obligations to provide true asylum seekers with shelter and protection. That duty doesn’t extend to those who willingly attempt to flaunt the system, just to try and get a better deal. Lets fix our domestic problems, before we take on the world.

* http://www.immi.gov.au/visas/humanitarian/onshore/866/ ** http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/11/01/2729755.htm

5


Why The Christian Lobby Will Never Speak For Me Lauren Kennard Last week, the state of Queensland was rife with controversy after the advertising company Adshel removed an advertisement from bus shelters advocating safe sex amongst the homosexual community due to political pressure from the Australian Christian Lobby. The relatively inoffensive ad, which displayed two fully clothed men holding each other with one holding a rather nondescript looking condom in its wrapper, was removed for about a day. Due to protest from the general community, it was reinstated soon after. This was not only a win for freedom of speech, but also for Christianity.

this country was built upon’. I have to question what values these are - was it the bit where we murdered the majority of the Indigenous population upon arrival; or the bit where we stole their children? I am sure not proud of those Christian values! I am a bit confused as to what happened to ‘love thy neighbour’ (the SECOND GREATEST COMMANDMENT IN THE BIBLE! - Matthew 19:19). The Family First Party may be slightly less skewed in terms of their views and application of them, however, they are not a lot better. This party recommends internet censorship as a means of stopping exploitation of children. Fair enough I guess, except for the fact that they want all adult pornographic material censored as well. This seems quite strange to me and, despite believing that lusting after another’s body is a sin (Job 31:11-12), I don’t think this needs to be enforced on society; each person should act in terms of their own beliefs. As long as the subjects of the pornography are consenting adults, I really see no problem. I am not going to go and look up porn any time soon, but that doesn’t mean that no one else should.

What was that? Did I make a typo? Not at all. I understand that it is a pretty cold day in Hell when I agree with the general population about something, but in this case, as a Christian, I feel nothing but disgust towards the Australian Christian Lobby (ACL) and associated political parties, including the Christian Democratic Party (CDP) and the Family First Party (FFP). This may seem counter intuitive, however, as a normal bible believing Christian, I believe that the ACL and associated parties do not let their actions fairly represent God’s word.

After defaming some of my ‘favourite’ political players, I will finally explain why pushing a religion in politics is in and of itself unbiblical and, therefore, ‘not Christian’. In one of my favourite bible stories, the Pharisees (people from the ultra conservative church) try to trap Jesus into saying that the Government is greater than God by asking whether Christians should pay tax to Caesar. The idea was that Jesus would oppose the tax, or say the Government was greater than God - either way, he couldn’t win. What he said is a commonly used phrase now; and the one I rely on for my argument - Render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s and God what is God’s. That is, don’t mix religion and politics (Matthew 22:21). If this isn’t enough proof of what Jesus thought, consider this - Jesus lived in one of the most oppressive regimes, which honestly make a number of the ones we look down on today appear to be freedom fighters! The Romans were so brutal in some cases that they actually put so many people to death on the cross that they ran out of wood!!! Yet Jesus never had a go at the government in the regime. He instead had a go at the church and it was for this reason (‘Blasphemy’) that he was actually put to death. Never did he mix religion and politics. If only these parties were a little more Christ-like.

As a Christian who believes in the bible, there is no doubt that homosexual sex is a sin (Leviticus 18:22). I understand that this probably doesn’t make the rest of the argument look good, but please don’t write me off just yet. Bear in mind that the bible says that a number of things are sins, from severe things like murder, down to milder things like lusting after a movie star, or telling a lie. All of these things (in God’s eyes) are the same. And we are all sinners (Romans 3:23). We are all, in God’s eyes, the exact same. Straight, or gay, in jail or free. It doesn’t make a difference to Him. Unfortunately, the ACL must have missed these bits of the bible. They have spent a lot of time persecuting the homosexual community through opposing gay rights; such as marriage and parenting; and have even gone as far as to say that church schools should be allowed to expel gay students (which is apparently ‘a loving response’). As a 20 year old who has already had to attend the funeral of one gay friend, I cannot stand for the discrimination of one single group for something that, in reality, doesn’t hurt anyone. This doesn’t mean that I don’t think that homosexuality isn’t a sin. But it sure means that I am tired of them being picked on when we are all the same - we are all sinners.

Consequently, as a Christian - and a person who holds the above parties and the notion of mixing religion and state in very low regard - I can sum it up like this: I think if God were to come on earth and see how His name was being used, He would sue for defamation.

If only this were the only reason this group will never speak for me. Political parties like the CDP also sicken me and do not represent any Christianity I stand for. Their intense homophobia (which is similar to the ACL’s) and their Islamophobia is nothing short of ridiculous and is (to me at least) quite offensive. Policies proposed by this group include discriminating against Muslims in terms of immigration (reminds me of a certain White Australia Policy to be honest) and deporting those who don’t want to ‘adopt the Christian values

I will end with this quote by Ghandi: “I admire Christ, but not Christians”

7


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“You Can’t Fully Enjoy Life Unless You Are Healthy” – Trevor Allan, Wallaby Captain for 3 years

Truer words have never been spoken; and yet, the average Australian watches three and a half hours of television every day. This amounts to 56 days of channel surfing per year; by the age of 33, over four and a half years of your life in front of that flickering box. However, this is only one contributing factor to the degradation of health in University students today. Bondies live in an incredibly polluted world. The atmosphere, water supply and - unless everything you eat is totally organic – food supply, is contaminated. We are bombarded by Macca’s $5 feeds on every corner whilst we are trying to juggle study loads, part-time jobs, socialising and addictive new TV series. As a result of all of this, there exists a generation of self perpetuating overweight Bondies that waddle between Bond Cafe, class and their car every day. At the risk of coming across like one of our many valued ‘Bond Calling Campaign members’ that don’t tell you until the very end of a lengthy ‘get to know you session’ that they want your money; I’m going to put a disclaimer in here – this is a plug for the Bondie Bullsharks Running club... We are holding a Ring Road Fun Run next Wednesday in conjunction with Wednesday by the Water, Red Bull and Body Science; and I would like to invite you to come down and compete, or at the very least, support your fellow Bondies and grab a free sausage, Red Bull and Protein Pack. Now, I know you have once again promised yourself that this is the semester that you will start exercising, go to every class, do all you readings and only go out once a week – but how about you actually do it! This is your opportunity, an open hand offering to pull you onto the exercise bandwagon. With the help of the Running Club, you can get there. With scheduled group sessions, individual exercise plans and years of training advice available at your fingertips, we believe we can help put a bounce back in your step. General fitness has many benefits. Regular cardio workouts help improve your metabolism, which in turn promotes a strong immune system. On top of this... you start burning fat. When you burn fat, toxins are released into the bloodstream and are quickly carried out of the body through sweat. This inoculates you against the probability of developing cancerous and diseased cells. Therefore, hard exercise (this requires you cracking a sweat) will get you looking good from the inside out. Not to mention such exercise can enable you to concentrate up to three times longer – not the worst skill a Uni student could have. Exercise can also help control other problems, such as: Sleep apnoea, moodiness, stress, decreased energy, cardiovascular disease, high cholesterol and others. There are too many benefits to list here; but Deb (our AIS accredited coach) has almost all the answers. Running is the quickest way to lose weight, whilst also toning up your calves and thighs. Now, if you’re anything like me, it’s about this point on the page you’re going “get to the point and fast”; “I’ve tried all of this before and its all well and good the first 2 days, then something pops up”. But that is why this time it is different – there is finally a club that is set up for the sole purpose of getting you fit - and for those who once competed - getting you back on the track. So please, for the sake of your health and the survival of our club, please join the Fun Run next week and find out what the Running club can do for you. Cheers, Bondy Bullshark Running Club

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TRAINING Bondy Bullshark Running Club casual training is on this Thursday 5:30 - 6:30 pm. Meet at the Sport’s Club House on the Rugby Fields.


BMG Careers By Cocktail Photographers: Andrew

Keep and Mona Mizikovsky


PALAVER Photographers: Mitch Hammer and Kenny Kagiah


“The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance,” Socrates.

Socrates

Wrong or Just Ignorant?

Caroline Kovac

Yes, Socrates – one of the greatest philosophers of all time - is being taken on by the girl who had a B+ average in English; and vomited on her school principal. But if we forget I just told you that, I actually have some very valid points on why Socrates’ teachings in ‘Morality’ are actually really illogical. At first, reading through my textbook - “GREAT Traditions in Ethics” (great is in capitals because it’s just a great word) - I was like, “OMG, Socrates is awesome, I can’t believe how clever he is!!!!!!!” But then I re-read the chapter (being a total nerd) and, to my disappointment, I was disappointed. I was disappointed, completely smashed, let down and collectively shattered, because I realised, unlike what Socrates claims, people CAN “do evil and not be ignorant of what they are doing!” For instance, I know that when I take my sister’s clothes (shh, don’t tell her - she goes here) that what I am doing is evil and I am not ignorant of that fact! I’m not stupid. I know it’s evil, unethical and wrong; I’m just doing it! (Don’t judge me, I know you’ve stolen your sister’s clothes too). I do agree, however, that in many cases Socrates is right: people do evil mainly because they are ignorant. However, the notion that no one does evil knowingly unless they are ignorant is, well… ignorant really. I mean, could any sane person really argue that they stole from a bank because they didn’t realise it was evil? Come on, try that one on Judge Judy - she would snap you. Socrates actually also contradicts himself by acknowledging the concept of an ‘eye for an eye’ and claiming it to be wrong (dur). However, by acknowledging this notion of revenge, Socrates also acknowledges a deliberate act of evil, because any smart person does revenge to knowingly DO EVIL! Not because they are ignorant of what they are doing, because then why would they do it? Just like he believed you can’t be happy being unhappy, because no one wants what’s bad for them, right? Well, aren’t happy and unhappy just concepts created by humans which have varied meanings for everyone? We can’t measure happiness and unhappiness; it’s irrational, what makes me happy could make you unhappy and, therefore, some people might want what you believe is bad. Following, people can want what’s bad for them, depending on the individual’s morals. Socrates also stated “I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing”. But you can’t in fact be wise and know nothing, because wisdom comes from knowledge, agree? We all know he is ironically stating ‘hahaha, I am so clever, I realise I am not ignorant of my intellect’. A lot of Bond lecturers will probably want to harm me for writing this article, because Socrates was a good all round guy; some might even say excellent. And I may as well admit it now: I’m not all that excellent. After all, I’m the girl who vomited on her principle.

15


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CPA Opport

a Parkes

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n Wilso By Kathlee

Do you want experience, something to put down on your resume/CV? Do you want a real life challenge? What about a share of over $100,000 in cash and prizes? Well, CPA Australia and the Big Issue are coming together to create an opportunity for students to stand out from the crowd and get a big break into the real life business challenges they might face after uni. The project started in 2010 and is aimed at all undergraduate students. Ridin’ solo, or a couple of two people, along with an academic advisor, you are faced with two questions (one of them is to complete a SWOT analysis). Seems easy! Registration and the first question is open now online at the CPA Big Break website – cpabigbreak.com.au. Not only is this good experience for the business world, but there is also cool prizes to be won! Interested or want to know more? Don’t forget to find us on Facebook Bond CPA Big Break Project 2011!


SCOPE ANNOUNCEMENTS Introducing The Scope Phone... If you’ve ever been on Texts From Last Night, you’ll know where we’re headed with this. No we’re not becoming the new Bond Gossip Girl or Uni Goss, or whatever the latest short-lived Facebook attempt is calling itself. We’re trying to get YOU more involved in YOUR student magazine. Text in any shout outs, birthday wishes, random observations, auto-correct fails, funny messages or none of the above to 0437 071 354, and we’ll publish the most entertaining in Scope. Any obscene, inappropriate or demeaning messages will be deleted. Please note that harassment of another student or students will not be tolerated. The Scope Phone will be turned on 24 hours a day, but no calls will be answered. If you need to talk to us about something Scope related, please send us an email. Happy texting.

What Else Is New? Photographers Wanted.

As of Week 5, a status will be posted to the Scope Facebook page each week asking Bondies for their opinions on ‘What’s Hot and What’s Not’.

Scope is looking for enthusiastic Bondies to join our photography team.

We hope this will remedy complaints of inside jokes in the Hot or Not section of Scope, and also encourage Bondies to be more involved with their student magazine.

If you have access to a camera, are able to attend a broad range of events, and interested in joining us at Scope; send us an email at scope.bond@gmail.com or jorja-lee.wallace@ student.bond.edu.au

Note, offensive or inappropriate comments will be disregarded.

How Can I Contribute to Scope? If you would like to have your work published in Scope, please send us an email at scope.bond@gmail.com or jorja-lee.wallace@ student.bond.edu.au Topics are not restricted, however offensive or inappropriate content will not be tolerated. Scope asks that you let us know of your intention to contribute at least three days before the Monday of the week you wish to be published. Please outline in your email the approximate length of your piece, and if you will be including posters or images. Scope only accepts high resolution posters and images. Completed work must be received by 4pm Monday of the week you wish to be published. 19


Scope Review The Hangover Part II

No enemies. No weapons. No violence. Yep, Portal 2 lacks the proven components that make any modern critically-acclaimed game successful. And yet the brilliance of Portal 2 lies in its mind-bending simplicity. Leave behind any concept of physics you thought you had, because Portal 2 gameplay is unlike anything you’ve experienced before. Ever. …Unless you’ve played Portal 1. I digress. Anyway, armed with the Portal gun, you can shoot two portals – walk through one, come out the other; that’s about it. And… it’s brilliant. Rarely do you come across a game that is so rewarding in its challenges, it’ll have you cursing in frustration one minute, then celebrating the feeling of genius the next. By strategically placing portals around the level, you can instantly get yourself around the rooms using gravity to your advantage. For instance, falling off a high ledge into a portal will jettison you out of the other. It’s a difficult premise to wrap your head around initially, but Portal 2 delivers compelling and innovative gameplay, with the most entertaining wit and humour in a game I have witnessed in a while. So why does it work so well? Well, for one thing, it didn’t try to copy the formula of its predecessor, rather it expanded upon it whilst maintaining true to the feel of the game. The story is surprisingly awesome – this game features some of the funniest and most convincing voice-acting in a beautifully constructed game environment. However, after a nice length campaign, one wonders where the replay value comes from. Well, with an absence of challenge maps, score systems, timing rewards or leaderboards, the opportunity for competitive play is pretty much eliminated – plus the constant loading times awkwardly break apart an otherwise seamless experience, which is a pity. But it doesn’t seem fair to point at the slightest discrepancies in face of such a masterpiece. It’s hard not to stop and stare at the sometimes-unbelievable magnitude of this game, even during the most faced-paced of actions sequences. Portal 2 is much more than a puzzler. It’s innovative, it’s creative, it’s funny and downright enjoyable. With a refreshing take on popular gaming genres, anyone can enjoy and appreciate its unique styling and fun physics-bending gameplay. Come down to CGN (Casual Gaming Night) in the Undergraduate Lounge this Friday to try it out, we will have a copy there, and all are welcome! Seriously, you’d be crazy not to sit down and experience this. Saxon Cameron (BCGS) Bond Casual Gaming Society

I have heard mixed reviews about this movie. I am hoping that this review gives you an unbiased opinion of this movie and allows you to make the decision yourself. First things first, though. If you haven’t seen this film, please stop reading. I will give out some of the better jokes in this film and you will be less impressed or happy with the film when you finally see it. Now that is out of the way, I shall move into the debate over whether this movie is good or not. I thought that this movie was pretty good. However, I can understand why there are some negative thoughts and critiques. It is, sadly, heavily based on the first film. I’m of the opinion that you could play each film side by side and have the same plot thrown out at you: Innocent partying turns into a night no one can remember, a friend is lost and they try to find him. The sub plots are evil people who are in possession of the missing friend; the incorrect friend is found; and Alan makes us all laugh with his stupidity and crassness. It is all very much the same plot. However, the jokes are entirely different. Yes, Alan plays a fool again. However, he has different jokes in this movie. This I can put down to his character, nothing more than that. Of course he is going to have similar jokes.... He is the same fucking person! Just like Stu is still somewhat of a prick and Phil is the lead role. That is why the jokes are similar. In saying that, if you aren’t the biggest fan of Alan, chances are you aren’t going to enjoy this film. I found that there is more of a focus on Alan than there was in the first film. Nothing too outrageous, but there certainly is that element. I suppose that goes for all the characters: if you don’t like Phil or Stu in the first film, you probably won’t like them in this film. Having seen the movie twice, I got to appreciate the smaller things. The facial expressions of each character at certain times are priceless. A few moments after Stu finds out his face is tattooed, he has a puzzled and dazed look on his face. I thought it was hilarious. (Mind you, I can find some extremely mundane things hilarious; case in point – the facial expression). Go and see this film. It will be, with a 10% difference, as funny and enjoyable as the first one. It is worth the laugh. But, if you haven’t seen it yet and have heard people talking about it for a while, I would probably wait six months and then watch it. That way, all of the better jokes are ruined. 7.6/10 -- Peter Clayton


RES WARS WEEKLY REPORT - TRIVIA

Ah, trivia nights, always one to test the old brain cells and make sure they’re in good working order after O Week – and last week was no exception! After dusting off the petty cash box and having fun traipsing down the aisles of Woollies to put together some wicked baskets of prizes (read: brand name products only), the Campus Life team gathered the Res Wars teams at Don’s to battle it out for the supreme bragging rights of Most Intellectual Res Area. True to form, the Tutor Fellows whipped up some doozy questions and a smattering of quotes from famous people that we were all meant to know, such as the immortal words of Ms Carrie Bradshaw, the atomic symbol for gold and the average life span of humans in 1800. Hands up who else couldn’t figure out the national flag of Barbados?! During the evening the competition was fierce, kicked up a notch no doubt by all the sugar we were feeding each round winner by way of Starburst and blocks of Cadbury’s finest. Almost every table won at least one round, with a game of heads and tails adding to the suspense of the final tally – in addition to Rowan Kendall’s request for Meatlover’s earning a few points along the way.* A huge thank you to the Tutor Fellows and Senior Tutor Fellow, who proudly put together those not-so-easy questions for Res Wars every semester, and kindly MC because they have much more swagger than we do! Don’t forget they’re available for free tutoring throughout the semester for Res Students and can be reached through the student portal.

And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for, (Mr Conductor, drumroll please)... The winners of Res Wars Trivia Night for 112 are: The AC Red Devils, who made a very impressive comeback from last week and are clearly the most intelligent res area on campus! Second, third and fourth were divided by merely a fraction of a point with the, err, wooden spoon being gracefully accepted by A-Block Pride, B-Block Bandits coming in third and Green Machine taking away second. With plenty more Res Wars events still to come, the points are so close that’s it’s still anyone’s game – so be sure to come down to the sand courts tonight and support your team at Beach Volleyball from 5:45pm! Aside from the fun and festivities of Wednesday nights as Res Wars, your Campus Life team is hosting an On v Off Netball Tournament on Saturday of Week 9 – so keep an eye out for sign-up sheets closer to the date. We’re also making a few changes this semester, such as the introduction of Subway as one of our dinner options at Res Wars and our new Facebook page. So be sure to jump online to tag yourselves in pics and let us know what you think of the changes or what you’d like to see changed. Remember, it’s your life on campus so feel free to let us know what we can do for you! *NB: The Campus Life team promotes the responsible eating of pizza and would never be biased by bribes of food… unless it was really good :)

RES WARS BEACH VOLLEYBALL WEDNESDAY WEEK 4 5.45PM SAND COURTS FREE DINNER


CRIMDERELLA Are you an ACTOR, SINGER, DANCER, or just plain ENTERTAINING? Want to get involved in LAW REVUE 2011? The lawyers are taking over the theatre and this year the Law Revue is back and promises to be bigger than ever. Law Revue is a night of celebrating the more humorous aspects of law school, laywers and the law. It will be held on Tuesday 21 June (Week 6). If you are interested in participating, please email social@bondlsa.com and express your interest by 5 pm, Thursday 9 June. NOTE: You do not have to be a law student to be in Law Revue - all students/staff from all faculties are welcome!

HOT OR NOT

HOT Grad Party True Blood Red pumps

Jorj Booshs fo-NEtik promt StumbleUpon If You Watch it Backwards Fluffy pillows Facebook ‘fans’ Kanye West’s Monster film clip The many personalities of Nicki Minaj The Sh’Boss Boys ... after a hard day of ... Bondy Bullshark’s Running Club Being a smartarse Karma NOT

The Red Cross Donor Mobile is visiting BOND UNIVERSITY THIS WEEK Eligibility Most people are allowed to give blood if they: Have brought photo ID with them Have eaten a substantial meal in the last 3 hours Have drunk at least 1 litre of water/juice on the day of their donation Feel fit and healthy Are aged between 16 and 70 years of age Have a signed parental consent form if they are aged between 16 and 17 years Weigh over 50 kg You will not be allowed to give blood if you: Have a cold or are feeling unwell in any way Lived in the UK for a total time which adds up to 6 months or more between 1980 and 1996 Are pregnant, breastfeeding or have given birth in the previous nine months Are currently taking or have taken antibiotics in the last 5 days Have had a tattoo in the last 6 months Have ever had a serious heart condition Have ever had a serious blood disorder or disease Have ever “used” drugs by injection or been injected with drugs not prescribed by a doctor or dentist The Red Cross Donor Mobile is located near: The Academic Spine, across from the Health Sciences Building To make an appointment call 13 14 95

Fire alarm during Palaver Corrupt InDesign files Sleep deprivation Cold feet No chips with the Cafe Bond burgers Immaturity Being hungry No tissues Not feeling fit and healthy Washing pile-up Falling behind


One minute with...

Dora “The explorer” Huang What are you studying, and how long have you been at Bond? I have been deeply involved in the discipline of being a world class explorer for two semesters. If you read the Bond Undergraduate Handbook, it may also come under Law/Commerce. Favourite animal and why? Diego - that bitch does everything I tell him to. He is practically a dog. Definitely the best petcousin ever. Describe your ideal date. Long walks on the beach, candle-lit dinners, poking dead things with a stick and exploring the global cuisine at Bond Cafe - om nom nom. How would you braid someone’s hair? Roughly and with unnecessary force.

Shout outs to Bonnie, Marryum, Steph and Racky, Christopher Columbus...

What is the best place that you have explored? The underground cellar at Don’s.

Greatest achievement at Bond so far? Finding a caterpillar in my sushi... I still eat it though... extra protein. But actually... meeting the love of my life, Stephanie Smith. Frape? If you could have a superpower what would it be? I wish I had the mental power to walk down the thinking steps whilst thinking about my problems. How do you find living in the Blocks? Awkward. Bitch please... I live in the bungalows. Best Facebook group you’ve seen lately? “Dropping a spoon and naming your Chinese kid after the noise it makes.” Note: Dora is just a pseudonym... my real name is Ting Ling. Why couldn’t my parents just use chopsticks like normal Asian parents.


Scope 112 Week 4