111 ISSUE 13 WEEK 5
Bond University's Weekly Student Publication
Inside: Australia: The Ungovernable Country? The Beauty of Bad Taste Top Five Dictators of All Time
CONTENTS Editor’s Report It is with immense pleasure and relief that I introduce the newest additions to the Scope team: Mona Mizikovsky, Peter Clayton, and Shannan Smith. A full team at last; I’m sure we will take Scope to the next level from here onwards, or ‘level up’ as some might say. You may have noticed that the magazine you’re holding is about four pages heavier. With such a large number of student articles sent to us, we have decided to expand to bigger, better things. We still have many articles sitting in our inbox waiting to be published and I have no doubt they will entertain all Scope readers. This week, we have some very high quality and unmissable articles. To honour the recent 103 graduates, our own Milly Arsic interviewed departing Bondie Jess O’Dea. We wish Jess as well as every Bond graduate all the best in the future. Peter Clayton’s ‘The Beauty of Bad Taste’ is as controversial as it gets these days. A challenge to political correctness, this article will hopefully persuade you to “divorce yourself from society’s views of proper behaviour.” In other words, try not to be boring. If that’s not enough, check out Mona Mizikovsky’s ‘Top Five Dictators of All Time.’ Not exactly the best role models, but one can’t help but wonder how the likes of Kim Jung-Il and Robert Mugabe could hold so much power over their citizens. Fear is an effective form of leadership after all. I hope you enjoy this week’s Scope. Until next week,
Weekly Busa Report
North v South AFL
The Ungovernable Country?
The Beauty of Bad Taste
Top Five Dictators of All Time
One Minute With... 24 Jorja.Wallace .................Sub Editor Milly.Arsic................. Sub Editor
Mona.Mizikovsky ................. Sub Editor Peter.Clayton ................. Sub Editor
Shannan.Smith ................. Sub Editor
Jen.Phan ........... Photographer
Sultan.AlSaheal ..........Photographer Mitch. Hammer..........Photographer
Jacqui.Ward ..................Designer email us at: firstname.lastname@example.org Cover photo by Mitch Hammer
Weekly BUSA Report
IS COMING... SEPTEMBER 18TH - 24TH, 2011
Alan White & Georgina Chao - Bondstock Convenors
The word ‘Bondstock’ is synonymous for being the BIGGEST week of the Bond Calendar; a celebration of who Bondies are, where we have come from and where our future foot prints will take us. Bondstock is Bond’s biggest gala ball, a notorious music festival, one hell of a secret location event, Australia’s most powerful and poignant guest speakers, once in your Bond life sporting and cultural events, and lasty, the culmination of the 2011 Student Association. Georgie Chao and I, with our team below are here to bring you a week you will not soon forget. I live by the saying “I will sleep when I’m dead” - Come September 18th - you should too, as there will be no rest for the wicked when Bondstock 2011 arrives.
Alan & Georgie Bondstock 2011 ‘Making a good thing...better’ Sam Kingsley - Events
Amy Farrugia - Special Guests
I’m currently in my third semester of International Hotel and Resort Management, majoring in Event Management. I have a strong passion for events, and can’t wait to sick my teeth into Bondstock, ensuring the music artists and guest speakers this year are of the most enduring quality.
A Byron Bay local, I moved to the Gold Coast to study at Bond in the 102 semester. It is my dream that every Bondstock event from the smallest speeches right through to the biggest parties reach their full potential and are thoroughly enjoyed by all who attend. I want to see Bondstock become a celebration of all aspects of Bond University
Sophie Von Zeppelin -Events
Nitesh Chawda - Corporate Relations I’m from Mebourne and I have been at Bond since 101. My role is to draw and most importantly match Bondstock’s events with the right corporate sponsors. For me, Bondstock is just like any other stock (chicken, beef etc). Throw it in with a bunch of other ingredients (in this case students, culture, socialising, academics and sports) and you get one hell of an end result.
I’m going to work hard to make the Revue a must-see breakdown of the Bond year, a night between the craziness of Music Festival and Students Ball. I will also be focusing a lot of my energy on Secret Location Party and Students Ball, of which I hope to be the most memorable nights of 2011. I’m looking forward to working closely with the rest of the committee to create fresh events, atmospheres and locations for Bondstock. 2011.
Christina Krantz - Projects
Tara Clarke - Promotions
I am from Oshawa, Canada studying a JD in Law at Bond. My role is to add something special to every component of Bondstock, through to free giveaways, the biggest teaser week seen yet, the BUSA elections, while ensuring Bondstock is strong financially, ensuring the biggest party week of the semester continues to get bigger!
Raised in Perth and having studied at Bond for the past year, I am using my extensive passion for advertising and skills of design, to create new innovative ways to connect with students on a personal basis. Every day I am being immersed in new fresh industry ideas that I will reflect in Bondstock’s promotions in 2011
"We are probably the only university that can pull off Distinctions with hectic hangovers."
Bachelor of Communications majors in Journalism and PR
Interviewed by Milly Arsic
Jess Oâ€™Dea - Bond Graduate
What does it feel like to graduate from Bond? “Well, I’m definitely nervous I’ll fall over seeing as I’m wearing the highest heels ever! But I’m excited because I remember school graduation was heaps of fun and momentous etc. etc. Someone from school contacted me and said I was the first person from my year to graduate, so that was definitely an ego boost. I’m just really excited to be out in the workforce. I’m so glad I picked Bond. Plus we do the hat and cape thing here which makes me feel like I go to Hogwarts. Awesome.” Describe your Bond experience in three words: “Hilarious. Testing. Sleep-depriving.” What have been some of your greatest challenges here? “I was a full-on ‘bat-labber’ till 4am most mornings because of all the deadlines. The amount of times I’ve seen the sun rise at Bond is embarrassing One of the most testing subjects was Broadcast Journalism. We were pretty much given a camera and mic and told to go out into the world and film and edit a news story. I had no idea how to approach people, I would mumble and freeze up, but journalism taught me how to come out of my shell.” Memorable moment: “One Friday morning I was so hungover I put my low-back dress on backwards so my whole bra was showing. These guys were whistling at me, people were staring and pointing but I just thought that I was killin’ it - I wasn’t. Then my friend pointed it out to me and I ran to my car and burst into tears of embarrassment and nausea. But all my most memorable moments would be from the newsroom, which we frequently turned into our own little nightclub to keep the Law students away, and put up a sign: Tutorial in progress. They have a whole frickin’ library. We have one room - deal.” What has your student experience taught you? “We are probably the only university that can pull off Distinctions with hectic hangovers. So play hard, party even harder.
What won’t you miss? The food menu, getting kicked out of the MLC at 11.00pm and having my underwear exposed every time the wind from under the Arch blew my dress up.” What are your plans after graduation? “I’m heading off to Sydney in March to get settled into city life before I commence PR work with a fashion label, Peep Toe, that I’ve been interning with. I’m also organising an internship with Fashion TV to blog and report on their website. Then I’m off to Europe to travel for two months with my best friends. Eventually, I’d like to branch out into journalism.” Advice to current students? “Don’t defer and do the three subject thing. Take advantage of being able to finish quicker than at other universities. I’m amazed that I’m 19 and have a degree. Although it was hard, it has taught me so much about time management and pushing through. I think it will look so impressive to employers that you can achieve more in a smaller amount of time than the average student. Now I feel invincible, like I can do anything the workplace will throw at me.”
HMSA presents North Vs. South AFL Night Taylor McPhail
“The battle lines have been drawn, a team has been divided. After Thursday night nothing will be the same again.” That quote has been thrown around before in similar articles, but let’s be fair dinkum this time! This is the match of the semester. The ball has finally dropped at this fine establishment that AFL rules supreme over all other ball sports; that includes Tennis for those softies out there. As soon as the yellow Sherrin has left the orange maggot’s hands, we will all witness a sight that can only be described as awesome; Ryan ‘Rhino’ Lenegan charging full steam ahead like the Rhinoceros he is. Let me tell all you Lads and Ladettes out there that this will be a night filled with biff, bumps and brawls. Not to mention the superior skills the Bond AFL Bullsharks players hold.
ever. He will be trying to prove to the boys he is who they would want beside them in the trenches. That he is who they want as Skipper! Sitchy will have strong support, gathering the tap outs from big Matty Dettman and dishing off the hands to a new found super-
7:00pm this Thursday, Bond Uni Sporting Fields. The time has come for yet another North vs. South AFL blockbuster! Firstly, let me reminisce for the freshmen about this classic A.F.L rivalry night which started well before my time. The New South Welshman, Queenslanders, Western Australians, Northern Territorians, and those two Canadian fellas, unite for one night only to form the North team. They take on the supposedly ‘dominant’ Southies; the Victorians, South Australians and Tasmanians. It’s an epic AFL clash. Last semester, it was not to be for the Northerners. The Southies told them to take their clothes off, lay on the bed, and get the lube ready for when they return from the pissa for a long night of punishment. Will the tables be turned? This semester is shaping up to be different with several key changes to both sides. Mid-field playmaker Nick Sitch will be going into the game hungrier than
star in Matty McDonald. Nevertheless, the feral North boys with their filthy Rugby background will be “leveling any prick that gets in their way” as George Duddy puts it. The North also has promising skill that is yet to be seen from blokes like Jake Tiver (who has been excelling in his AA meetings, and officially out of retirement) and Timmy Simpson. With all of the above in consideration, unless you’re balls deep in some hottie; you would be a loser to miss this event!
The Ungovernable Country? Liam Auer
ustralia is the lucky country? Try the governable country. A trend I have been noticing in politics over the past few months is seriously starting to disturb me. A trend where any intelligent discourse on policy is being foregone in favour of moronic sound bites, and plain old obstructionism. The sheer hypocrisy of the Opposition at this point is simply staggering. They oppose the introduction of a flood levy, calling it a great new big tax. Yet, had the Government not made a budget-neutral decision in this case; they would be tearing their collective hair out over the resulting increase in the deficit. Let us not also forget the six special levies imposed by the Howard Government that, given he was a member of Cabinet back then, Abbott explicitly approved. Or God forbid we raise the spectre of the special levy he was going to introduce to fund his paid maternity leave election promise. Wait, how about the GST - that other ‘great new big tax on everything’ that Abbott, again as a Cabinet member, approved? Please, do not take this as a criticism against the GST or a paid maternity leave scheme (although there are more intelligent implementations than Abbott’s proposal). In fact, I am a firm believer that the GST was a net positive economic reform for both our taxation system and our economic framework. Furthermore, I align myself with the Productivity Commission, which calls for the introduction of a paid maternity leave scheme. These are merely examples of the cynical politicking that the Opposition has lowered itself to. Under Abbott, the Liberal Party has taken a fundamental shift into the intractable. There has been an absolute refusal to engage in any sort of constructive bipartisan policy discussion. Rather, it is opposition all the way and without any form of decorum. Case in point; Abbott calling for donations to fight the flood levy whilst flood victims were struggling to rebuild their homes. Only after intense public criticism did Abbott back down. It truly shows that he cares not for the welfare of the nation – but rather to govern at any cost. In this case, the cost is Queensland.
The public debate over the flood levy is just one example of this emerging and disturbing trend in Australian governance. Abbott seems to have missed the unspoken memo that yes, being in opposition entails holding the Government to account - but that is not a carte blanche to oppose just for the simple sake of it. Intelligent policy requires intelligent debate from both sides of politics. Unfortunately, the Australian public is receiving neither. Frankly, I am surprised the Liberal Party is standing for this. Abbott has betrayed a number of the Liberals’ core ideals. He rails against an Emissions Trading Scheme, arguably the most free market response to climate change. Instead he proposes a Soviet-style command-and-control ‘green army’ to plant some trees. Under Turnbull the Opposition was willing, and smart enough, to engage the Government to extract concessions and help mould policy. People bemoan that a combination of the Greens and Independents hold the balance of power in the Senate, but they forget it is the Opposition’s utter unwillingness to engage that has forced Labor into the arms of the Greens. This trend also crosses the traditional left-right divide. NSW Labor Premier Kristina Keneally (a government in its death throes if I have ever seen one) claimed NSW taxpayers deserved special consideration under the levy. Sorry, your own party’s ineptitude does not score you a free pass from paying a levy Mrs. Keneally. The frightening thing about all of this is that the Australian media is happy to lap it all up. They thrive off simple sound bites, but neglect to rightly crucify Hockey over his failure to read the facts when he made his initial comments about the levy. Australians often sit back and smugly point the finger at the broken American political process, saying how lucky we are to not be like them. It has been said that the future first happens in America. Well, a broken political system certainly has happened over there, and that future is fast approaching Australia. I can only finish on – oh Turnbull, wherefore art thou?
Skydive Photos courtesy of The Exploration Society
Thursday at Donâ€™s Photographer: Sultan Al Saheal
Photographer: Katerina Kaliviotis
Photographer: Mitch Hammer
The Beauty of Bad Taste Peter Clayton
An insight into the good of the bad
ome people are highly offended by bad taste jokes, and this is an understandable reaction. This article is written to try and break down some misunderstandings and misconceptions that surround bad taste humour.
Bad taste humour is extremely subjective in nature. It requires a person to divorce themselves from society’s views of proper behaviour and delve into the deepest recesses of a person’s psyche. Bad taste should be approached as if only you were hearing it, and no one was present to see your reaction. Then, and only then, can a person truly appreciate all that bad taste has to offer. Bad taste humour, like everything in life, has positive and negative aspects. Bad taste humour can be good, I can assure you. But, I can appreciate that there are limits in everyone’s capacity to laugh at the unlaughable. Jimmy Carr sums it up quite nicely: “Offence is taken, not given. People take offence at different things. Bad taste is taking lightly something very serious.” This could not be any truer.
I find bad taste humour absolutely invigorating. Some of my favourite comedians focus strictly on bad taste: Jimmy Carr, Frankie Boyle and Tim Minchin to name a few. It is offensive, granted; but it is not meant to be taken literally. Like a lot of comedy, if you read too much into it, the substance of the joke is lost. All that results is the ‘joker’ receiving menacing glances from the ‘jokee’. Take for example this joke by Sean Lock: “They say a woman’s work is never done. Perhaps that’s why you get paid less.” Bad taste? Yes, of course it is. But, does this mean that every person who laughs at it is a misogynist? Of course it doesn’t. It is merely the identification of the elephant in the room (women, for the same amount of work, are paid less than their male counterparts), with some comedic flair added for spice.
“If you saw someone sleepwanking on a train, would you wake them?”
Bad taste can be seen everywhere. We have all experienced something quite innocent that can be converted to a fantastic bad taste situation. Ed Byrne was discussing falling asleep in public. We have all had the public sleeping ‘nods’ and woken up feeling quite embarrassed. However, Ed goes on to explain “I’ve woken up in my own bed, doing things to myself that have really made me think ‘Fuck, I’m glad I’m not on a train right now’. ... Lads, I know there is only a slight chance of it happening, but imagine sleep-wanking on a train. It could happen. That to me is my ultimate fear: to wake up, my cock out, jizz all over my trousers, a few beads in the hair of the old woman next to me, and 50 commuters all just reading their papers furiously. ... You can laugh, groan, you can put your face in your hands. But, if you saw someone sleep-wanking on a train, WOULD YOU WAKE THEM?” Granted, that is quite a vulgar scenario. But, there is a distinct humour in that situation. This is what I love about this comedy. Bad taste, for all the preconceptions, is really quite innocent.
great insight into how people perceive bad taste. What essentially amounted in that discussion was: If you don’t like the comedy, simply don’t watch it. If you go to a Jimmy Carr concert, you are expecting to hear jokes about the most horrible of scenarios. But, it is just innocent piss-taking. Also during this discussion, one ‘concerned individual’ (an ignorant wanker with no knowledge of the subject matter) stated that Carr ‘used foul language’. Now, as a person who uses foul language, I am often bombarded with comments relating to my small vocabulary: “You don’t need to swear to get your point across; you lose all credibility in your argument; etc.” To this, I quote the great Stephen Fry: “I haven’t met anyone who’s truly shocked at swearing ... They’re only shocked on behalf of other people. Well, you know, that’s preposterous. ... It’s not necessary; as if that should stop one doing it. ... Things not being necessary is what makes life interesting. The little extras in life.” (I couldn’t agree more.)
Ricky Gervais, of recent Golden Globe fame, gives a great example of telling bad taste jokes. “Comedy comes from a good or a bad place; it is for you to decide what that is. ... The thing about sick jokes is: when we tell a sick joke, it’s with the express understanding that neither party is actually like that. I wouldn’t tell a sick joke to a known paedophile. I wouldn’t go ‘Here mate, you’re gonna fucking love this more than anyone, son”.
Swearing and bad taste do go hand in hand. It’s something that fans of bad taste would understand and appreciate. Sometimes, to further accentuate a point, swearing is a necessary evil. Yes, some people are against swearing. Does this mean that I shouldn’t enjoy the occasional (read: frequent) cuss word or epithet? I don’t think so. Sure, I’ll choose my audience. It’s not appropriate to swear in court or a lecture/ tutorial. But, I shall choose to exercise my freedom in most other aspects of my life.
Let’s delve into the above quote a little further. Paedophilia is a horrible circumstance. It is, by no stretch of the imagination, something to joke about. However, taking into consideration what Ricky Gervais says, we know that the joke is not meant to be taken seriously. You don’t tell a rape joke to a victim; that is just ludicrous. However, if the target audience is right, then opportunities to take something very serious in a light-hearted manner arise. Note: I am not condoning any of the actions mentioned. They are deplorable, vile acts.
With all this being said, the most important point to make is as follows. Bad taste humour has its place in society. The target audience is a select individual, and most certainly not the reasonable person. If you do not want to hear it, then don’t. But, don’t watch it and then write furious letters to the government demanding immediate action because you were offended. People who do this piss me off. If we wrote letters about all the things that offend or annoyed us, we would do nothing else
A debate was occurring in England regarding offence at some jokes told by Jimmy Carr. In a nut-shell, a parent was upset at some of the jokes told. Jimmy Carr said “Say what you like about the servicemen amputees form Iraq and Afghanistan; but we’re going to have a fucking good Paralympics team in 2012.” Search ‘Did Jimmy Carr go too far?’ on YouTube, and watch the talk show regarding this. It gives a
I may be no psychologist but we as a society gain pleasure from others peoples’ misery. We are simply trying to isolate the pitfalls of our existence and laugh at the misfortunes of others. As much as we empathise with their problems, we attain some sick sense of satisfaction by divorcing ourselves from our circumstances to see the beauty in our own lives. That is the beauty of bad taste.
With the recent devastation of the floods, Australians from all walks of life have come together to combat a common foe. For the first time in a long time we have been inspired by the age-old values of mateship, and lending a helping hand to our fellow man. The Bond Indigenous Awareness Society (BIAS) implores Bondies to do the same. Over the next three weeks, BIAS is holding two events that will give a unique opportunity to literality buy a helping hand. BIAS is hosting its first Sea Of Hands charity event, aimed at gathering all the support possible for the Premier’s Disaster Relief Fund; and also Aboriginal medical services on the Gold Coast and in Tweed Heads. To kick-start the affair, on Friday (Week Five) we are holding the Sea Of Hands Launch Party. This will bring staff, students and the local community together to give the BIAS Sea Of Hands a proper boost. Starting with a champagne sunset evening, the Launch Party will entertain guests with live music, luxurious canapés, and VIP entitlements as you dine under the stars for charity. For only $20 (SAM), not only will you have an amazing time but you will also be helping your fellow man. Then comes the event to put all others to shame, the official BIAS Sea Of Hands. Never before has such an event been conducted, let alone approved here on the Bond Campus. Sea Of Hands gives you the unique opportunity to purchase a hand for as little as $5, label it with your name and plant it in a massive sea of charity; right here on the ornamental lawns. Show off a little, buy as many hands as you can and show the world how much you support equality, medical treatment for all Australians, and a simple fair go! Also a reminder to all, don’t forget to send in your BIAS Social Justice Trip applications. This event, which takes up to 15 Bondies to Far North Queensland to help in a fully Indigenous boarding school, is truly the opportunity of the year! If you have any questions, would like to purchase a ticket or simply get involved, come down to under the arch all this week between 10am and 2pm or send the BIAS President an email at email@example.com
Dictators of all time
So, unless you have been in a grad-party induced coma since Friday, you would have heard that Hosni Mubarak finally resigned as dictator supreme of Egypt. *insert claps here*. In honour of Mubarak’s 30 golden years of dictatorship, let us pay homage to some dictator homies who continue to go hard (with nerdspiration from Foreign Policy Magazine).
Kim Jong-Il - North Korea To say the Dear Leader is good at his job would be an understatement. In his early years, Kimmy surmounted a three year famine in North Korea by deftly decreasing population size by 2 million; something more manageable for the coming years. Today though, Kimmy occupies his precious time with failing to set up vital infrastructure in the country (satellite imagery shows it is near entirely dark in North Korea at night), forbidding the internet and any sort of press freedom, allowing only one TV channel that happens to be entirely dedicated to propaganda, and making sure none of his dear citizens escape. He also reportedly keeps 200,000 North Koreas in hard labour camps. As for Kim the man, he really is quite the stud and not only because he wears elevating shoes to hide his manly 5’2’’ stature. His people really do love him though, with his birthday being one of the biggest celebrations in North Korea. Many citizens are also enamoured with his talents; including his ability to dictate the weather with his mood (or so his people believe). Kimmy is also quite the artist having authored books on the art of cinema and opera, and regularly kidnaps South Korean actors and directors to assist him in making his box office hits. And I haven’t even mentioned his collection of 20,000+ DVDs with Team America presumably being a fav. Even though the Dear Leader has a fine taste for French Cognac, he does keep it real; dealing with his fear of flying by preferring to take his private armored train when he needs to travel.
Robert Mugabe -Zimbabwe
Mugabe has been doin’ his thang strong now for 30 years and has ultimately turned Zimbabwe into a basket case. His recent claim to fame has been staggering internal inflation. According to Wikipedia by December 2008, annual inflation was estimated at 6.5 quindecillion novemdecillion percent (6.5 x 10108%) (try saying that 20 times in a row). In 2009, the government actually banned printing of the Zimbabwean dollar and as of 2011, has still not recommenced. That’s an achievement for the resume. Other things Mugabe has managed to secure for his people: an 85% unemployment rate, government ownership of all local radio and television stations, life expectancy of 47, an election that would only be accepted if he won, and a cholera epidemic. But Mugabe has had it hard too you know – his wife, 41 years his junior, reportedly had an affair with one of his best friends; proving even dictators are not immune from an epic cock-block.
Mahmoud Ahmedinejad - iran Ahmadinejad, the 6th president of Iran, is definitely a crowd pleaser. What makes him such a dictator-win is the little gems he drops on the international community - including his denial of the Holocaust, his repeated urges to wipe Israel off the map, his claim that the US government orchestrated 9/11, and his assurances that there are simply no homosexuals in Iran. And let’s not forget his annoying little obsession with Iran’s nuclear program. As for the people of Iran, rest assured, Ahmadinejad kindly makes their social experience more manageable by restricting their freedom of expression and association, and maintaining religious and gender-based discrimination. Ahmadinejad also knows how to celebrate in style. Following his (disputed) election victory in 2009, he arrested more than 6,000 individuals including lawyers, rights defenders, journalists, civil society activists, and opposition leaders which all remain in detention without charge. The judiciary regularly relies on confessions extracted by torture in sentencing people to prison terms and (even worse) death. A man this busy can’t have a tie getting in his way (FYI: they’ve been banned in Iran, so everyone can keep up with him).
Omar hassan al-bashir - sudan
Now Bashir is the real deal: responsible for the deaths of millions in Darfur, and the first sitting head of state to be indicted by the International Criminal Court for war crimes and genocide (he has managed to evade that irritating warrant since 2008 though). Thankfully, the deaths in Darfur have halted but his Arab militias still preoccupy their time trafficking Sudanese citizens as slaves, with Bashir himself accused of having several at one point. Props go to Bashir though for ending the 19 year civil war between the North and South, and allegedly accepting the recent referendum whereby the South voted to be an independent nation (I honestly hope he sticks to his word on this one). Anywho, Bashir has still managed to squash all political opposition, failed to resolve constant armed conflict within Sudan’s borders, build any form of public infrastructure, and chronically obstruct the provision of humanitarian assistance to affected populations.
Isaias Afewerki - eritrea
Afewerki is the first and current El Presidente of Eritrea and boy is he a hardnut. Anyone who questions his awesome regime must be silenced by any means: detention without trial, torture or execution. There is no privately owned media within the country, and people are constantly in famineexpected to survive on government rations due to lacking food in the markets. All business and industrial activity is under state monopoly and international trade has been paralysed. Afewerki also isn’t really fond of the whole ‘democracy’ fad so hasn’t convened parliament since 2000. Actually he hates the idea so much that he ordered the arrest of eleven of the highest-ranking members of his administration in 2001, many of them his closest friends and colleagues for ‘suspected treason’; punishable by death for calling for democratic reform. Now there’s a man that sticks to his values. He is a real friend of the people though, making every citizen who wants to leave get a visa, just so he knows why and where they are going. But seriously, as if you would leave the indefinite, mandatory military service program he’s got going; they have showbags.
Chantal ’s Kitchen -- Chantal McNaught
Mango and sweet chili prawns (serves 4) It’s summer and what better way to spend it by having a delightful snack by the pool or on the beach. This dish goes with any salad (including fruit if you’re feeling that extra bit adventurous) or rice and is an all round winner.
INGREDIENTS: 1kg of fresh Australian Banana prawns 2 ripe Bowen mangoes 3 tablespoons of sweet chili sauce 1 small onion A small amount of extra virgin olive oil
METHOD: Peel the banana prawns and place in a large mixing bowl. Dice the onion and mangos into small chunks and add to mixing bowl with prawns. Stir well until prawns are well saturated with the juice from the mangos. Leave to sit for at least an hour, I suggest making it around lunchtime for the evening, breakfast for the lunch etc. In a medium non-stick saucepan, add the oil and set to medium heat. Wait until oil has heated and pour in the prawnmango mix. Simmer until prawns are cooked, this usually takes about 7-10 minutes. Immediately take off heat. Serve with parsley and lemon as garnish. This dish would keep in an airtight container for 1 day. Spice things up by adding a little chili powder or turmeric. Enjoy! 19
Chiddy Bang - EPs A never ending avalanche of mixtapes and no debut album up to date. Samples from the famous MGMT, Passion Pit and Radiohead; all while not neglecting the underground scene. Fuzzy synthesizer and sly beats that impress with their “not too hip-hop” complexity. All that and much more is Chiddy Bang. Just like a number of indie performers nowadays, Chiddy Bang got their fame with the help of the internet blogs. It’s been about a year since PrettyMuchAmazing.com posted some tracks, which gave the band the attention they rightly deserved. It took Chiddy and Xaphoon Jones (a five piece which eventually became a duo) another year until EMI noticed the famous “Opposite of Adults”. That track samples MGMT, while changing the beat drastically and speculating more on the song’s topic. Surprisingly, with that hit in their pocket, Chiddy Bang still don’t have a label to release a full-length album. After dropping two fantastic EPs with EMI, the band got the good old “creative differences” with the label and had to leave. It seems to me that the “differences” are somehow related to Chiddy Bang’s neglect for album sales. The guys are way too productive to be complying with label’s policies about the scheduled release of albums. This is achieved by putting out free mixtapes with fantastic songs way too often. About 85% of the tracks from The Preview have been in online circulation for a few months, this before being officially released on CD and iTunes. At least you don’t have to feel guilty for downloading their tracks. Just come to the show. Tracks that you are REQUIRED to listen to: Danger Zone (I think this Ratatat sample beats Kid Cudi’s actual collaboration with them) Under the Sheets (brilliant rendition of Ellie Goulding’s not-so-brilliant song) Get Up In The Morning (reggae-sampling awesomeness) Rating: Fresh and Fly (8.8/10)
Rating: 8.8/10 (fresh and fly) -- Gleb Tugushev
Black Veil Brides - We Stitch These Wounds This music has some resemblance to Avenged Sevenfold. To sum it up in one sentence: we sold out before we even had the chance to sell out. Is this a bad thing? Yes and no. Yes, because bands that sell out are terrible (Linkin Park, Green Day, Metallica). However, I can appreciate they are playing music that they like straight from the get go. Is it really selling out? Probably not. Carolyn, the final track, is a ballad style anthem that has some similarities to Metallica’s ballad songs, whilst still dripping with Avenged Sevenfold. Never Give In has a good intro, a shuffled drum beat with high guitar over-tones. This song reminds me of Avenged Sevenfold’s later releases: quite good, but nothing too special about them. Knives and Pens is one of the bigger releases (their first single, in fact). This song is a good introduction into what to expect from this album. It sounds like Japanese pop, with sudden bursts of some hardcore elements. The video is quite odd, as it only has three of the five members in it. I’ve never understood why they did that. The songs are actually a good introduction to metal (that is, for non-metal listeners). It’s not too intrusive for the virgin indieears that most Scope readers possess. Who knows, this may be the gate-way album that brings you to the dark side? Once again, probably not. Keep listening to your Pitchfork albums of the week, and the latest hipster indie crap that is being shoved down your throats. I’ll stick to decent music. All in all, as much as I wanted to write a bad review of this band, I can’t. It’s actually pretty good, and has been quite successful with the market they have chosen (pre-teen girls with Led Zepplin and Guns n’ Roses shirts and ear-piercing screams). I have to respect them for living their dreams. I’m sitting, listening to this album, trying to work out why I took Equity with Ong. They are playing live music to a plethora of screaming fans. Who am I to judge that?
Rating: 7.2/10 -- Peter Clayton
trivia Logic Puzzles 1. How much does our Earth weigh? 2. On average, how much time does a person spend kissing in his entire lifetime? 3. When a burning cigarette is inhaled, what is the temperature at its tip?
Brain Teaser You have a fox, a chicken and a sack of grain. You must cross a river with only one of them at a time. If you leave the fox with the chicken he will eat it; if you leave the chicken with the grain he will eat it. How can you get all three across safely?
5. Which Ocean goes to the deepest depths?
Brainteaser 2 A completely black dog was strolling down Main Street during a total blackout affecting the entire town. Not a single streetlight had been on for hours. Just as the dog was crossing the middle line a Buick Skylark with 2 broken headlights speedily approaches his position, but manages to swerve out of the way just in time. How could the driver have possibly seen the dog to swerve in time?
The Firing Squad Pirate Pete had been captured by a Spanish general and sentenced to death by his 50-man firing squad.
Kakuro Kakuro puzzles resemble crosswords which use numbers instead of words. The aim of the game is to fill all the blank squares in the grid with only the numbers 1-9 so that the numbers you enter add up to the corresponding clues. When the grid is filled, the puzzle is complete.
4. What happens when you dip a pearl in a glass of vinegar?
Pete cringed, as he knew their reputation for being the worst firing squad in the Spanish military. They were such bad shots that they would often all miss their targets and simply maim their victims, leaving them to bleed to death, as the general’s tradition was to only allow one shot per man to save on ammunition. The thought of a slow painful death made Pete beg for mercy. “Very well, I have some compassion. You may choose where the men stand when they shoot you and I will add 50 extra men to the squad to ensure someone will at least hit you. Perhaps if they stand closer they will kill you quicker, if you’re lucky,” snickered the general. “Oh, and just so you don’t get any funny ideas, they can’t stand more than 20 ft away, they must be facing you, and you must remain tied to the post in the middle of the yard. And to show I’m not totally heartless, if you aren’t dead by sundown I’ll release you so you can die peacefully outside the compound. I must go now but will return tomorrow and see to it that you are buried in a nice spot, though with 100 men, I doubt there will be much left of you to bury.” After giving his instructions the general left. Upon his return the next day, he found that Pete had been set free alive and well. “How could this be?” demanded the general. “It was where Pete had us stand,” explained the captain of the squad. Where did Pete tell them to stand?
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Bond MD Medicine: Il Buono, Il Brutto, Il Cattivo (The good, the bad, the ugly) Eva Constantinidis
This is my first official posting as Bond MD. And given that I have not picked up a pen to write anything that doesn’t involve words like ‘terbutaline’, ‘salpingectomy’ and ‘expectoration’ for the past four years, I apologise in advance if this is a rambling shambles.
“You’ve got to take it seriously, but you’ve also got to have a laugh.”
I propose this short length of prose to be a weekly portal into the wonderful, albeit worrisome, world of the Medical Student. Brace yourself, dear reader, for the good, the bad, and the ugly. And may I take this opportunity to highlight the sheer abundance of the ‘ugly’. For those aspiring doctors out there with romantic notions about this profession, think again. Yes, you get to walk around in scrubs. But believe me, you won’t be feeling like McDreamy when your shoes have been soaked through with amniotic fluid during your first shift on the labour ward, or when you are ordered to glove up and probe ‘orifi’ that have never before seen the light of day. And it is a necessary evil. As my Gynaecology lecturer so delicately phrased it, in Medicine, ‘if you don’t put your finger in it, you put your foot in it’.
The last two years of Bond’s 4.6666666 year course (try explaining that to people) are based in both the public and private hospitals of the Gold Coast and Brisbane, where you rotate through a number of compulsory and self chosen specialities. I have just completed a term in Orthopaedic or Bone Surgery where, as one of the junior ‘orthopods’ loved to exclaim, ‘we heal with steel!’ My daily grind has recently consisted of the bleary eyed stumble into the hospital at 7am for surgical meetings, and a short black later, in operating theatre observing and assisting with the repair of fractured hips, ankles, wrists and the like. As a medical student you do a lot of stapling, suturing, plaster casting and placing traction on (essentially pulling) limbs. While the latter doesn’t sound like much, I’ll have you know that yanking on a leg for an hour is no mean feat. If you want your daily workout at work, and personal training doesn’t appeal, Orthopaedics is a career choice that will have you on your way to perfectly sculpted upper limbs in no time. And that isn’t the only perk.
The nice little eighty-something-yearold woman in Accident & Emergency who presented with chest pain, but was equally as concerned about me receiving her famous passion-mallow pie recipe is also up there. As is the schizophrenic patient on the Psychiatric ward, who serenaded me with a harrowing rendition of Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini. My friends always ask if medicine is more like the infamous television series Scrubs or the drama filled, bed swapping glory story of Grey’s Anatomy. Scrubs wins through and through. As my wise, wondrous radiology lecturer once said, ‘You’ve got to take it seriously, but you’ve also got to have a laugh’.
“You won’t be feeling like McDreamy when your shoes have been soaked through with amniotic fluid...”
You see, there are so many positives in medicine. Watching a crush victim, whose legs were pinned by a fallen Gyprock wall for eight hours, take her first steps after weeks of talk of amputation; is one of them. Playing stork and delivering a baby is another.
Life as a medical student is not all beer and skittles. But I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
HOT OR NOT
Scope Sport North v South AFL and Med v Health Touch Squad Lists North Ryan Lenegan (C) Tim Simpson Josh Ward Mark Manolas Craig Burge Jeremy Galliot Andrew Wood Jake Tiver Joe McLachlan Byron Davis Brian Winter Archie Marr Jono Hawes Hamilton Byrne George Duddy Black Jordan Andrew Pahoff Will Cundy
South Jack Tronson (C) Nick Sitch Matt Dettman Sam Schuler Taylor McPhail Nathan Mote Hugh Grover Jake Whitford Nick Hayes Matt McDonald James Oldfield Rupert Pedler Jimmy Youngfield James Warmham Fitzy Chris Lambert Dave Tyquin Max Davies Kevin Jubb
Med Moni Brunt Jacqui Seebold Robert Harvey (C) Joseph Williams Jack O’Sullivan Zahin Ilahee Myo Thu Mohammad Rahma James Cafaro Peter Sidhom Nat Souyaye Sebastian Mohan Ali Eqbal Gabby Mahoney Dan Kilburn
Health Chantal Jephcote Zoe Kaesehagan Joel Grech Paul Kruger Andrew Carlton Jake Whitford Liam Cosgrave Nicola Ying Stef Farr Travis Owens Liam MacGeachy (C) Sam Coad Rachael Whitford Jarrod Cole Michael Pratt
Training events and times
HOT Picture Bar Grad Party Father Bob
Victoria’s Secret Aussie fashion deal 25 Hour Convenience Store Pups in Slush Spin class Groove Train Date Auctionees The ole gine comeback Days of Rage Lajoie Rain when wearing white Italian President NOT Falling off the bus Walking around Surfers alone Liars Sooky la-las Res cleaners Pretentiousness Surfers’ jail bait “Inbox me” Camel toe
Bond Cheer 2011 Whilst cheerleading is well established in Western and South Australia; Queensland has taken its sweet time catching on to the (admittedly) cheesy sport. This year we are aspiring to compete at State and National levels through various cheerleading authorities, and also against other universities at the Sothern University Games in Geelong in July. Exciting times lie ahead for the squad; however, our focus for the past few weeks has been on preparing for the age-old battle of North v South AFL.
Spiders Looking after drunk friends at your own graduation
With many fresh faces on the squad and a dynamic new routine, the cheerleaders are sure to please. Alas, if that’s not your cup of tea there’ll be plenty of boys running around in shorts that leave little to the imagination.
humans shed emotional tears Tomorrow night will be a lot of fun with just the right amount of rivalry thrown in. HopeOnly to see you on the sports field at 7:30pm! Hippo milk is pink
Being sick Uni fees Golf Vodafone
One minute with...
Degree: Law and Commerce Nationality: Malaysian
what The Beach Boys were talking about when they sang ‘Kokomo’.
What was your favourite childhood toy? Barbie doll.
Favourite Dish? Mashed potato and salmon.
If you could have dinner with anybody alive or dead, who would it be with and why? Keith Richards – I could ask where the drugs are at Studio 56 and how to party like a rockstar. If you were confined to the Bat Labs for life, what three things would you take with you? Money for the vending machine, a phone, and a friend (preferably a guy) If you could travel anywhere, where would you go and why? Aruba (Caribbean). I want to know
Phobias? I am petrified of animals, especially dogs, cats and rabbits. Three favourite movies? The Godfather, Rocky (for the theme song), Bridget Jones’ Diary. Best experience you’ve ever had at Bond? When I won my position in the LSA. How many languages do you speak? Four. English is my favourite.