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Southern Twang

Let it Snow!

F

or many “transplants” to the South, “Snow” is a 4-letter word. Well, I reckon, if you get right down to it, “snow” really is a 4-letter word, but that’s beside the point. The point is, Southerners LOVE snow! I mean, it turns an everyday day into a holiday! At the mere mention of a potential flake from the weatherman, we rush to the store for milk, bread, and grits. Better throw in a bag of rock salt for the front porch, too, because you KNOW that none of us owns a snow shovel. I don’t think they even sell those things in our zip code. And if some of that white stuff actually starts falling from the sky? Gracious daisies, we gotta pick up our little ones from school before the roads get bad, that is, if the schools haven’t been called off on a mere prediction. Then, we gotta put a pot of chicken stew on the stove (cooked chicken in its broth, milk, butter, salt, pepper and Texas Pete), ‘cuz baby, it’s cold outside! No work can be done when it is snowing outside. Even though I’ve worked out of the house for years, and technically, snow doesn’t impede my ability to sit at my computer and be productive, I still must take the day off if it snows. I mean, how can I possibly concentrate when it is SNOWING outside? I have to do what every other Southerner is doing at that moment. I have to watch the snow falling, check in with the Weather 80

by Jan Todd Channel, call my mother/sister/neighbor to see if it is snowing at THEIR house, comment on the size of the flakes and potential to accumulate, and make sure that all of our loved ones are home or on their way home. Then, if accumulation does occur, I must take out a ruler and measure the deepest pile on my deck, and post a Facebook photo of my back yard with the caption, “It’s SNOWING!” How could I possibly be expected to work, with all of that going on? If there is sufficient coverage, heck, even if it’s questionable, we must go sledding. Now, with Southern snow, the saucer-type sleds usually work best, as they don’t have runners and sit on top of the grass. So even if the snow isn’t very deep, or if it’s basically cold, wet grass, you can still get some movement if you have a nice hill. In college, we used to use cafeteria trays, and they worked quite well. Of course, we returned the trays to the cafeteria after use. Really, we did. The saucer-type sleds are hard to control, though, which can be an issue when sledding towards the lake. Around Lake Wylie, some of the best hills happen to end with a splash, so that can add a whole new dimension to the excitement of sledding. Only on rare occasions can we bring out the Flexible Flyer, the classic wooden sled from our childhood, gathering dust for years while hanging in the garage, waiting for “The

www.LakeWylieToday.com | Winter 2017

Big One.” Ah, remember that time it snowed SIX INCHES? The kids were out of school for two weeks! One of the best parts of a BIG snow is making snow cream. I didn’t realize until recently that snow cream is a Southern Thing. Like many “Southern Things,” it was simply part of my childhood, and just as normal as boiling peanuts or putting pimentos in cheese. Snow Cream requires dry, fluffy snow, and is best gathered by putting a bowl on the deck and letting the snow naturally accumulate. In a pinch, you can scoop up some snow and put it in the bowl, but make sure it is fresh and clean! Mix in some milk (remember that grocery store run?), sugar, and a couple of drops of vanilla extract. If you’re feeling fancy, use sweetened condensed milk. The resulting snow cream should have the consistency of a Slushie, and tastes like heaven! After eating snow cream, hot chocolate is a necessity. Then it’s time to go back outside and let your Barbie Dolls build a snowman (because a doll sized snow man is usually as good as it gets.) While many of our friends from “Up North” may say things like, “I moved from Wisconsin/New York/Chicago/Insert Cold Place Here to get AWAY from this stuff,” they soon discover the best thing about Southern Snow. Enjoy it today, because tomorrow? It’ll be gone. LW

Lake Wylie Today, Winter 2017  

Lake Wylie Today, a quarterly magazine, highlights the leisure and excitement of lakeside living, our comfortable, small-town atmosphere and...

Lake Wylie Today, Winter 2017  

Lake Wylie Today, a quarterly magazine, highlights the leisure and excitement of lakeside living, our comfortable, small-town atmosphere and...