Change Leadership
Tell us about the struggles and achievements in your life and what did you learn from them? My high point in life had to be meeting my wife. I say that because my worst mistakes were the ones I made because I thought that I could go at it alonewhatever it was. I didn’t value the presence or feedback of others, and I certainly didn’t share with them my intimate and personal thoughts. If my wife had not basically knocked me over the head with that realization, I’m not sure I would’ve come to it without irreversibly altering my life path for the worse. Her friendship and partnership are what helped me to decide to do what I’m doing now- something that fulfills me in ways that my previous endeavors never did. She also helped me build the amazing family that I have today. I have two young children who surprise, delight, and test me every day. And those are all things that I absolutely need in my life. My low point in life, well, there’s a tie for that particular honor. That period in grad school where I got burned out and stepped away for a few years. There were a few months where everything was coming to a head for me in the spring semester of my second year in grad school before I left. I have never felt more out of control, stretched thin, hopeless, devoid of purpose and direction, and so on. I think of that complex and terrible feeling from time to time, as a reminder of how things could be if I fail to stay engaged with the things in my life. The other low point in my life happened right before I began writing about productivity and personal development online. I had been teaching philosophy at the college level for a few years, and I convinced myself that the best thing for me to do would be to try 31 | SCALEUP | ISSUE 11
to obtain my Ph.D. in the subject and try to become a professor at whatever institution of higher learning would take me. I applied to 17 Ph.D. programs across the country, and received 14 rejections. When I looked at what the journey would be at any of the 3 schools that accepted me, it became clear that the journey was less about making a good life for myself, and more about being too proud to admit that I was too narrow in my approach to what I wanted to do with my life. Those 14 rejections stung me quite a bit, but they helped me realize that I needed to reevaluate. I can’t be thankful enough for that. From my low in life—specifically all of that stress and pressure that surrounded my dream of getting a Ph.D. and being a professor—I learned not to be so narrow in my goals, and not to be so attached to them. What I mean by that is that my goal should never have been so narrow as a job. It should not have been “to be a professor in a university, teaching this subject”. My goal should have been about what issue(s) I wanted to tackle and what I wanted to contribute to the world—however small that contribution might be. Had I thought about my goals in that way, I would have seen how many options I had to make the kind of contribution I want to make. That’s where I am now—having learned that lesson—and I am so grateful that I was able to see that when I was still young.
Turning point in your life?
A co-worker of mine, back when I was working a retail job, once told me that it never pays to compare yourself to others, because all you’re doing is comparing their frontstage to your backstage. All that means is that people who seem to have it all together or
