here once was a man named Seamus, Sherman Seamus. He
was an Irishman, with little moral values. He fell in love with a fair haired lass. Her name was Jonsie and this is their story.
It was the sultry summer sun that reflected the crystal blue of her eyes, which drew Sherman Seamus in. Jonsie and her blushing groom Cliff were in Ireland on their honeymoon. The green grass was crisp underfoot as the couple walked hand in hand along the murky riverâ€™s bank.
Jonsie’s laugh echoes across the river as Cliff tells a corny joke. She’s not laughing at his joke, but at the fact that he finds himself funny. She has always found Cliff comical because he resembles Big Foot. She sighs and looks away, and then their eyes meet. Sherman Seamus is illegally fishing for dolphins off of a public peer. Jonsie pushes Cliff on to a passing pontoon boat and frolics over to her new found love. Sherman Seamus gathers her into his muscley arms. He smells of fish and misery. The new lovers share a soulful moment of bliss before Cliff manages to swim to shore. Sopping wet, Cliff grabs Sherman Seamus by the neck of his Irish sweater vest and tosses him to the sharks… Okay dolphins.
Jonsie apologizes and Sherman Seamus is carried away to Japan on dolphins backs. Jonsie and Cliff were set to live happily ever… Although Jonsie confiscated my phone and ran up the bill with international calls… to Japan!!! So as I call this number back, my mind jumps to a million different conclusions. Was Jonsie still in contact with Sherman Shamus? Was she planning to see him again? Had she already? These were the questions that I could not get out of my head. Should I tell cliff? It’s his wife; he has the right to know. I decide to confront Jonise at school the next day, a friend and I buy Dale Earnhardt Jr. PJs that way she will be in a good mood. Jonsie tries on the PJs and the truth serum secretly ingrained in the fabric works its magic. We questioned Jonsie all through her 8th hour prep period. We finally emerged from her room, the truth to shacking to 3
talk about. Sherman Seamus? Cliff? Long lost brother? How could it be? Jonsie had her proof. Plain as day, a taped confession from Mary Ann Jones (Sherman), birth certificates, and home movies. We had seen it all. The story was almost unbelievable; a family trip to Ireland, Sherman had fallen into the river, and was raised by dolphins. I haven't talked to Jonsie or Cliff since the boarded the plane bound for Japanâ€Ś I'm just a chronicle.