Page 18 - SASKATOONEXPRESS - March 3-9, 2014
Cam Hutchinson & Friends:
Views of the World
Bomber fans, Posh Spice Coo, coo, ca-choo, Mr. Robinson feeling deflated
By RJ Currie n honour of the Brier, my all-star men’s team of singing curlers: Lead, Guardin’ Lightfoot; Second, Peel Young; Third, Bumping Tom Conners; Skip, Button Cummings. l In tennis, if your opponent doesn’t show up you win in a walkover. In related news, the Finnish Olympic men’s hockey team won bronze in a walkover. l BBC News reports a leopard has been on the loose in Meerut, India. In the last few hours, sources say the leopard was spotted. l I hurt my back last week after I slipped on a patch of ice, flailed my arms trying to get my balance and fell awkwardly. On the bright side, I got 6.0 from the Russian judge. l Yasiel Puig, a favourite for NL MVP, showed up to spring training 26 pounds overweight. He’s now the heavy favourite. l A dinner theatre in Florida that features wrestling is drawing rave reviews. A word of caution: If anybody asks, say no to the GrecoRoman dressing. l The Blue Bombers announced Drew Willy will be their No. 1 quarterback. Nobody in Winnipeg got excited - except one guy who thought they said Joe Willy. l Victoria Beckham recently had her breast implants removed. She now has natural cleavage instead of a silicon valley. According to a new study, wearing
houldn’t Canada’s two Olympic curling teams get free passes to the Scotties and Brier next year? Both Jennifer Jones and Brad socks over your shoes is a great Jacobs missed the chance to compete in playdowns way to avoid slipping on ice. It’s this year — not that they are complaining. I’m also a great way to avoid meeting thinking the four Atlantic provinces could compete women. for three spots in the Scotties. And Saskatchewan l An item from the ironic files: could take a one-year timeout from the Brier. The uniform of Jason Collins, the Thirty-four years without a victory is ridiculous. NBA’s first openly gay player, is l Name the reporter that covered the 1980 Brier in the league’s top selling jersey. So Calgary for The StarPhoenix. Yup. thousands of them will go into the l From TC Chong: “Ukraine has issued an arrest closet. warrant for ousted President Viktor Yanukovych. l Researchers have successfully He is believed to be in hiding in the Eastern tested a pillow that will awaken Ukraine with the Russian men’s Olympic hockey snorers without waking anyone players and coaches.” next to them. Who’d they test it l From Bill Littlejohn: “A studio is developing on? Maple Leafs fans? a film about Dennis Rodman’s North Korea trips. l Did you hear about the NASYes, it’s called The Hangover IV.” CAR driver who was addicted to l Janice Hough, on the Los Angeles Dodgers brake fluid? He just couldn’t stop. announcing Larry King will host a series for the l The pants of the Norwegian en’s team’s 24/7 television network called Larry King curling team have their own Facebook page, with over 550,000 likes. at Bat: “Presumably Larry hopes to get as a regular That puts them 549,999 head of me. guest that nice young man Vin Scully.” l Torben Rolfsen, on the St. Louis Blues’ David l All but one of the Netherlands’ Backes returning home from Sochi with stray 24 Olympic medals came in long track speed skating; most of South dogs: “One can only imagine what the Rio 2016 Korea’s medals came in short track. athletes are going to come back with.” l From Chong: “South Korea is now preparing That’s the long and short of it. for their turn to host the next Winter Olympics. l Lamar Odom has reportedly Already they are claiming to be way ahead of signed a deal to play in Spain. Sochi in that there are no stray dogs anywhere in When Khloe Kardashian heard the country.” about it, she said, “That’s not far l True story: I heard a radio talking head say the enough.” Saskatchewan Roughriders offence is basically l I’m not saying I watched too intact from last season. He went on to say an avermuch Olympic curling. But now age running back can succeed behind the offensive when my wife wants the kitchen floor cleaned, she just yells “Hurry line. l Now that the Olympics are a memory, I hope hard!” Glenn Healy will quit saying ice hockey. l I’m confused. If Russia is opposed to gays, why are they fond of l From Bill Littlejohn: “Researchers and archaeologists have discovered cheese that was apparbiathletes?
ently tucked around the necks, chests and heads of Chinese mummies that are dated to about 3,600 years ago. There was also on one what appeared to be a jersey that translated to Green Bay Packers.” l Chong, after Baltimore Orioles manager Buck Showalter introduced 19-year-old prospect Josh Hart to Hall of Famer Frank Robinson and asked the kid if he knew who Robinson was. Here is what Hart found after doing research: “4. Robinson came from a Swiss family: 3. Frank followed his dad Jackie to the majors; 2. His brother David was a star basketball player; 1. Simon and Garfunkel recorded a song about his mom.” l From Littlejohn: “Question: What does the rest of an LSU recruiting class call a QB recruit who is in Grade 8? Answer: Grandpa.” l Hough, wearing her hat as a travel agent: “The geography award of the day goes to the client who asked me to send her all the flight options from Amsterdam to The Hague.” (Note: It’s about 50 kilometres.) l Rolfsen, on Knicks point guard Raymond Felton being arrested on weapons possession charges: “Don’t worry, he’s a Knick; he won’t be able to hit any target.” l A study found eating fried foods can lead to Alzheimer’s Disease. I had a punch line for this, but forgot it. l From Littlejohn: “In preparing for a possible race against Danica Patrick, Richard Petty, 76, has a vehicle that may be a bit rusty; he hasn’t raced it since Ben Hur.” l Hough, on golfer Steve Elkington tweeting a homophobic joke about Michael Sam: “Right, because we all know when it comes to tough male athletes, we think of golfers first.” l Rolfsen, after North Korea launched four shortrange missiles into the Sea of Japan: “The last thing to land there was a Dennis Rodman jump shot.” l I can hardly wait for Tom Higgins to throw a challenge flag.
Now Selling Beautiful Courtyard Suites in Phase II
March 20-23, 2014
- Tickets now available at Picatic.com -
Mon - Sat: 1:30 - 5:00 pm Or by appointment with Morley Miller
Phase 2 Under
Saturday, March 22nd
- Holmes on Homes Sunday, March 23rd
Relax in the serene surroundings of your own private park as others do the maintenance. Gorgeous adult condos bordering Churchill Park, complete with beautiful amenities. Close to shopping, bus routes and freeway access, nestled in one of Saskatoon’s quietest and most desirable areas.
The Discovery Center has moved from the Trailer to Suite 124 in the newly completed Phase 1 of Churchill Gardens.
Corner of Ruth St. & Haultain Ave. Phase 2 currently under construction
374-1010 Discovery Centre 291-2420 Cell
Don’t miss out!
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