Page 1

Once upon a time there lived two pretty princess named Anastasia and Madison. Anastasias father was the King of the East Valley, and Madison’s mother was the Queen of the West Valley. The valleys did not have a lot in common, but what they did have in common was their High School. The East Valley and the West Valley had their own elementary and middle schools, but neither one had built their own high school in their region. Which meant that both valleys had to emerge together into Mid Valley this is a which statement, it needs to be attached to a sentence, not a sentence on its own.

High School after middle school. The merge of both valleys had been an issue for past students, but the school never had two princesses entering in the same year. Although Anastasia and Madison had never met in person, they knew a lot about each other from the gossip birdies. The gossip birdies were used as the gossip messengers between the two valleys. They knew that their parents didn’t understand why because they were only in their teenage years. The King and Queen would say things to the princess like, “You wouldn’t understand why” or “You’re too young to understand the reasoning.” The summer before high school flew by, and when it finally dwindled down and the first day of school was right around the corner, each princess prepared herself to their first official introduction.

It was the morning of the first day of high school, and the girls dressed themselves in the schools mandatory uniform, but of course added their

tiara on their head, swapped their backpack with a purse, and slid on their custom knee high socks. Anastasia got in her private carriage with a personal escort and picked up her two best friends on the way. The school day started, and Anastasia and Madison managed to not have any morning classes together, until fifth period came around. Since Madison had just come from lunch, she got to math class early and got a seat in the front row, by the teacher’s desk. Just as the late bell was ringing, Anastasia walked into the classroom. Everyone stared and looked to see who it was. When Madison laid eyes on her, she cringed her forehead, looked her up and down and looked away in disgust. Anastasia was too flustered because she got to class as the bell was ringing, she didn’t see Madison sitting there. She sits down in the only empty seat in the second row. The teacher’s introduction for the class was short and sweet, leaving free time at the end of the period. Since it was their first day of school, the students frantically wrote down their gossip stories on a sheet of paper to turn into the gossip birdie messenger by the end of the day. On where do they turn it in? how? how does it get to the birdie messenger? Is there only one?

this sheet of paper, girls evaluate each other’s first day of school outfits; boys write who their summer fling was and much more. Most students do not write their name on the note, so no one knows where it came from. Some students would even write good things about themselves to boost their self-esteem. That evening when both girls get home, they nervously await the gossip birdie to deliver the days gossip to their doorstep.

Anastasia opens the letter with her best friend and reads aloud “Did you see Madison’s outfit today? So last season”, with an attached picture of her outfit. Anastasia and her friend turn to each other, and say simultaneously “that is so next season” agreeing that Madison was ahead of the season. “Someone without a sense of fashion is obviously writing this, she has better style than I thought.” As the weeks continue, the gossip birdies letters are still filled with fashion comments and advice, but one afternoon a letter reads, “How are we suppose to trust our King, when he is dating the Queen of the West Valley” When Anastasia reads this, she storms into the Kings office and throws the letter on his desk, crosses her arms and says “Please tell me this isn’t true.” He slowly picks up the letter, reads it and says “I didn’t want you to find out this way.” Anastasia looks at him starts to cry and runs into her room across the castle. A few minutes pass and he follows into her room and says “I wasn’t ready to tell you, because I didn’t know what was happening between us. I wanted to make sure you found out at the right place and time, but people watch our every moves and probably saw us out together and got the wrong idea which happened to be the truth.” The King encourages Anastasia to not think of the negatives and think of the positives, he says, “This could be a great thing for the two valleys, we could finally be one again. You and Madison have more in common than you know, just wait until you meet her.” Anastasia agrees to a dinner with

Madison and the Queen later that evening. When Madison and the Queen arrive, Anastasia opens to door and sees hershe and Madison are wearing Molly Today, 8:48 PM Replaced: her

the same flats but in different colors. They look at each other with a big

i like this detail :)

smile on their faces and Madison says “Wow, the gossip birdie insulted me on being ahead of the trend, guess I’m not the only one who knows good style.” Anastasia giggles with a smile and invites them in for dinner. Dinner flies by and the girls realize they have more in common with one another than they though, particularly their passion for fashion. They agreed that the gossip birdies had such an impact on their view of each other without actually meeting. They were always so focused on what the gossip birdies had to say about one another that they never took the time to introduce themselves to one another. The gossip birdies were the reason for the segregation between the valleys; it wasn’t actually their different outlooks on life. From that day on, the King and Queen publicized their relationship, and the girls combined their designer closets to be the schools trendsetters and best friends

(930) Molly Today, 8:48 PM Added Text

Sara Good job. I really liek the additions of dialogue and how the story about the King and Queen is depicted through the gossip. As you revise do a scan of specific details... perhaps depict the individual flairs of each one. As you revise watch for sentence structure issues such as the which statement mentioned in the comment earlier in the story. Overall you have strong sentences and organization. This is an A- range draft.

P1D3 Molly's Comments  

Project 1 Draft 3 Molly's Comments

Read more
Read more
Similar to
Popular now
Just for you