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Monthly Meeting Minutes

Friday 12th August, 2011

“What ya looking at? I paid my $10 bucks!” - BRUTUS

El Presidente “It’s good to be the king ! Piss Boy ! Piss Boy !”


The Pig was WHINING from the MINING at 7:45pm at the Waters Edge, Friday 12th August.


Minutes of July's Meeting confirmed by the Big C who tried to summarise the previous big month of the Twisted Leaders Fishing Club member’s activities, and was seen more than once looking to our new member Brutus for some inspiration.


Present tonight were 33 members from 98 total: Callan & Rosie, Erikk, Mike and Karen, Wayne, Brian, Big Bad Joe, Tukai, Pistol Pete, Jiesa, The Donno and the Sarah, Sarah Fisk, Markey, Cherie, Losalini, Scott, Loren, Brianna, Billy PEE, Chantal and Gary, Lou, Jeff, Sue, Bryan, Esali, Nathan, John the Font, Builder Ben and Joseph.


Apologies from The Brendan who was “crook”, and Ben, Alabama Ronnie, Rajineesh, Renee, Mike, Russell, Nick & Becky who all had lame ass excuses! Many members bent my ear in the most vociferous manner complaining that The Dollye hasn’t been to a meeting for so long and they would very much like some of her scintillating wit and charm to return. (I but duly scribe the sentiment!)


Many new members signed up at the fishing comp in the last month, but we will have to wait until the next meeting to celebrate them, as Renee was out partying.

The crazy Canadians Gary and Chantal

Up to mischief methinks?

Losalini and Scott “Beauty and the Beast”?

A new member, or just enjoying Renee’s tucker??

Jonathan, our most well behaved Club member? YEAH RIGHT!


The Beqa Biatch Night Fishing day was scheduled for the 20th Aug. Due to the weather & insufficient numbers, it will be rescheduled for late November. The plan is for an entire night out fishing for squid, bottom bouncing and jigging. 20 persons at $50/person for the boat. And $20/person to cover dinner and breakfast with a cook to provide the Galley meals and coffee/tea as is required throughout the night. Ice and bait will also be covered in this fee. This event will be organized jointly by The Donno and The Big C. Halogen lights both submersible and above the water are required - the more the better. Please contact us if you can help provide. There will also be a prize(s) sponsored by the Twisted Leaders for a yet as undecided category(s).


Review of the Hook ‘em, Book ‘em and Cook ‘em II Fishing Comp The comp was the highlight of the month and a fantastic day was had by all. More than 80 members fished and ate until they were stuffed. So many stories and strategies. Nick decided on going hard and all or nothing in trying to catch a monster using bait that turned out to be the size of the winner’s catches, and his 48 year’s of fishing experience (His face belies his age), was no match for the ever resourceful Rajineesh, Markey and Lou. Renee, Mike and Brianna tried fishing in the Pearl Channel, and doing it with commitment, (Spied sitting on the rocks with champagne on their laps!) Paul and Erikk claimed they caught a truckload but that some “officialdom” confiscated them when they stumbled onto Fiji’s Area 51 – which is why they took the prize for the best fishing tale. (It was give ‘em the prize or get inundated with manly tears) As usual with our Club, no one came close to winning the accuracy competition. Category Biggest Fish Most Species Most Fish Smallest Fish Fish Tale

THE WINNERS (Adults) Joseph – rod/reel combo, Weekend @ The Uprising Rajineesh - $50 Guava voucher, $50 Rajeev’s Gas Station Lou – weekend @ The Uprising Rajenesh - $50 Beauty Bar, Knife, Mask & Snorkel Longo’s Dive Shop Erik & Paul - $50 Guava

THE WINNER (Kids) Mark – rod/reel combo, lures, Xstreem Fishing Mark - mesh bag, $50.00 Longo's Dive Shop Mark – dive mask & snorkel, lures - Longos Mark – Kid stick with reel, Lures, Xstreem Fishing

Purple shading indicates a connection to the Wakeham Fishing Dynasty. We will be looking into handicapping known kin next Comp.

Special Thanks to our Fine Sponsors & Organizers; The Big C, The Rosie & The Brendan. Many thanks to club members; •

Russell for the location, Billy PEE for officiating (or being officious?)

Alabama Mike & Karen and Mike Brook for Chillie, Natalia and Cyndee for Salads, Wayne for the BBQ

Many others I’ve forgotten, but appreciate nonetheless.

A fantastic 15 min (300 photo extravaganza) musical animated photo picture slide show of the Comp day was prepared by The Sarah and posted on The Twisted Leader Facebook Site. CD copies for those without fast Internet are available on request. Many thanks to The Sarah for an outstanding job. Photos by Sarah & Rosie.

Lou showing she can catch enough fish to feed Fiji if required.

Go Rajineesh! Showing he can fish and dance at the same time.

The size to beat in the future.

Markey cleaning up – AGAIN!

“White men CAN catch!” ….or can they?

Smallest catch !

Hey Bro, isn’t The Big C’s ass looking big today?

No fish here but it was a nice spot to spend a few hours paddling & learning some local fishing secrets from Sue

That’s because he has a 200HP Suzuki jammed up there !

Tukai appeared with a fresh bllo every 2 minutes. Awesome!

Consoling the Great White HUNTERS with food!

Sue - Priming her casting skill with a bilo

Mike - The epitome of style, the embodiment of coordination!

Whipper Snappers Brianna & Chase Michael and co. just in time for lunch! Wahoo!

One word - Beautiful!

“No really Callan, I could have caught a fish if I wanted too.” “Nick, you’re killing me with your sad story.”

Erikk, Pablo, Ben & Jeff Life’s GOOD! Ahhh, DAMN FINE Grog!

Mwhahahaha Charlie enjoying the display of Wakeham fishing prowess.

SOME Melbournites can indeed catch fish!

Casting Competition – The Big C shows Big Bad Jo how it is done !

Here’s trouble ! Ronnie, Russ, Jack & Renee Twisted Wine-O’s !

Jomu – “Babe Magnet” Cindy & Cyndee showing it is possible to gorge yourself and remain taut, tight & terrific.

Boob Watch !

El Capitan “I taught them well”

Twisted Leaders new COMPLAINTS DEPARTMENT - Just see Rosie !

Happy smiling Bryan, Karen and Loren and Ben who is” internally berserk” with happiness


(as presented by the Erikk)

We learnt how to tie the “Paternoster Rig”. Which is basically any style of hook rig where the leader is tied to a fixed lead. The hooks are then on droppers above the lead. Usually one to three hooks are used on a paternoster rig depending on the species you are after The Erikk presented on how to do a quick rig bottom bouncing set up using “Dropper Loops” (the “leaders”) to attach your hooks (for when the fish are “on” and you have to get your line in quick!) in preparation for the Night fishing trip on Charlie's boat. Ben had prepared a more sophisticated set up as pictured below. The Big C “flitted” around like an inelegant butterfly helping every one with their knot tying.

Sarah has obviously been swapping Tackle Jewellery fashion tips with Erikk

A section of Ben’s quality rig set up

The Erikk Edumucating Us, whilst eyeing off Sarah’s new jewellery


FISHING TALES The Billy PEE extolling his many virtues !!

Nathan. Natural orator or excessive gas? (Brian looks gassed to me!)

Alabama Mike displaying the patience of Buddha, honed over many years of fishing with Alabama Ronnie.

Nathan said he caught pretty much nothing (small paka paka) and his father in law caught a humungous “Anaconda” in the river that was left behind from the film. They were fishing on the full moon and using fresh fish bait to catch salt-water fish, which was speculated, might be the reason for their dodgy fishing catches. Nathan as proud new dad didn't care about his lack of fishing prowess because he has a beautiful new baby girl. A couple nice Mangrove Jacks

Nathan holding a couple Lehi, with some Pakapaka laid out

I wouldn’t mind one of Nathan’s so called piss poor fishing days!

“Where’s me goddam rum, ya bastard?’

Jo’s “Anaconda” I think I’d rather cut the line.

Alabama Mike caught buggerall (one big Paka Paka) whilst with Renee and was consoled by his happiness with the performance and the good repairs he and Ronnie had performed on Renee’s boat. (Prior to these repairs, Renee never noticed how bad the

steering was due to her affinity with multiple bottles of champagne.) How The Renee navigated through the entrance to Pacific Harbour with a skin full of bubbly and boat steering like a1963 EH Holden is deserving of a gold medal? (An EH Holden is known for having the steering of steam ships a century ago – lotsa play). Another poor fishing effort perhaps due to the full moon? •

Ben had a good fishing night with 60 kg of Paka Paka. No new moon fishing here by the maestro.

Erikk in his kayak on the river caught some Daimu and Barracuda. The Erikk wrestling with his catch on his “kayak?”

Ben, at $90/Kg might have to buy fish instead?

Loren caught a Walu on a popper (which then broke in the boat), whilst fishing with The Big C and The powerhouse Rosie. On his next outing caught a GT on the second cast and some Walu and Rainbow Warriors trolling. “Looking good Lewis !“

Billy PEE proffered advice to the members, suggesting that in lieu of any fishing ability, prawns were on sale at Supafresh??

The Big C still fishing vicariously through the members’ fishing exploits and was seen to salivate in “Lika (his dog) like pools of goo”, at the Billy Pee’s tales of seeing “swarms” of GT's the size of submarines seen whilst he was diving in Beqa. No more can we accept poor fishing catch stories from everyone due to the excuse of no GT's being around Beqa any more!

The fish hiding from the fishermen in Beqa Lagoon!

Markey caught some fine fish in an otherwise challenging month of fishing.

Wayne, I missed another of your stories again, so will bring a tape recorder with mammoth amplifier to ensure I don’t miss your next one, or maybe you can make some notes for me?

Gary & Donno & Donno’s Dad, Norman fishing with Jaga and Earl on Freedive Fiji. Gary regaled us with his tale of surviving the mountainous seas and catching his first fish ever in Fiji, a monstrously huge Walu. The Donno caught two bait size mackerel! Gary a bit of a slack ass has not provided me with any photos of his momentous catch.

FreeDive Fiji offered us a fine fishing experience and is a very slick professional ‘switched on’ operation. Thoroughly recommended to members who have friends and relatives visiting for a hassle free Fiji fishing experience. Earl’s boat handling over 8 hrs was extraordinary effort in the enormous swell. Since we have been catching squat we have been buying & eating delicious OPAH this month.

Although we didn’t catch anything I think my father Norman preferred the much calmer pastimes of fishing off the bridge & throwing bread to the Telopea than the high seas we experienced on the fishing charter.

UPDATE ON RONNIE BACK IN ALABALAMA For those who don’t follow Ronnie on Facebook, since leaving Fiji at the end of July he has indulged in some serious fishing in the Gulf. He has thrown down the gauntlet to challenge us to catch more fish, and indicated that we are a bunch of “girly men” who sit around drinking kava and “talking the talk” than actually fishing! He has had several fishing trips, including Fishing 60 miles out in the Gulf near the oil rigs for Snapper (which he had to throw back as they are outside of the catching season) and fishing the buoys & channel markers with shrimp and an 18-20ft pole (some sort of very very old school method) for blackfish.

Ronnie flanked by his son, James & stepson, Corey, with Jack in the background. {A whole lotta Alabama beef!)

Hope this fine boat is coming to Fiji?!!!!

“You had me at hello!’

Very nice deep rig set up.

Should be enough room for me to pop?

Can’t beat technology

Man made reefs of The Gulf Black Fish – delicious!

Did I mention that it was a fine boat and would be great for Donno popping? Hey? Hey?

ALL ANGLERS ARE REMINDED TO TAKE PHOTOS, so we can see the actual sizes & also serve as instructional for those new anglers learning about the variety of species. Email photos to Sarah at



Great article on 'Boat handling in difficult conditions' by Sam Jefferson in and a copy was passed around for the members to review.

Loren and Dollye the proud new owners of their new baby, a 24 ft Islander.

The Callan the proud owner of a new 225 HP Yamaha to be fitted in a month's time, with a waiting list on invitations! (and Suzuki can kiss his hairy white ass!)

The Jeff also has a new boat to play in and was scant in details, so presumably he is trying to minimize his invitation list?

The Scott made a large cement rendered timber framed Twisted Leader plaque. Many Thanks for this fine effort.

Sarah Fisk said something about missing the fishing Comp, so she was going to donate (mugs of some kind?) for the next Comp, I think? (My fish and chips arrived at this point of the meeting.)

Charlie upgraded from a “Princess” to a “Queen” for a week (hope Cherie is not reading this?)

Charlie on Hugp Slim’s boat, The ‘Mayan Queen’ “Screw Johnny Walker Black, I deserve Chivas Regal Royal Salute!"


RE PORT (by The Renee)

"The World will soon wake up to the reality that every one is broke and collect nothing from the bankrupt, who are owed unlimited amounts by the insolvent, who are attempting to make payments on a bank holiday in the wrong country, with an unacceptable currency, against defaulted collateral, of which nobody is sure which scumbags holds the title! The end of the Great Keynesian experiment is nigh. Prepare accordingly!" “Yes, agreed Renee, so true, but how much coin does our Club actually have?!!!” 12. Meeting

ended at 9.30 pm whereupon members dribbled out to then regroup at the Tackle

Shop. 13. PLEASE

NOTE. Next meeting for Friday the 30th September 2011 at 7.30pm and not the usual 2nd Friday of the month, due to El Presidente traveling to the USA for some well deserved self-indulgence.

14. Nothing

to see here! Move along.

DISCLAIMER Members and other unauthorized recipients are advised to be ATTENDANT at the meeting in order to establish the veracity and accuracy of these minutes. The author is not liable for any libel arising from any inaccuracies and flagrant distortions of the observable truth, due in part to the possible onset of dementia, short attention span, and effects of Grog on this sub prime crusty old fart. I also appear to be going deaf, so PLEASE SPEAK UP !! Any miss spelt words and/or bad ‘grama’ and/or piss poor punctuation - tell it to someone that cares. (maybe The Rosie, head of our new Complaints Dept. who it is known, likes to listen to drawn out tales of woe and self-regret). The Do n no - Twist ed L ea d ers S ec ret ar y (with p hot os an d gr ap hics be a utificatio n fr om The S ar a h)

12 AUG 11 Twisted Leaders Monthly Minutes  

Twisted Leaders Fishing Club Monthly Meeting Minutes for 12 Aug 11

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