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Woman San Diego

Informing, Entertaining, and Featuring the Women of San Diego

www.sandiegowoman.com

Susan Taylor A Debt of Gratitude

Huey Lewis and The News

San Diego's First Female

Saxophone Quartet

San Diego Woman Celebrates 7 Years


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Woman San Diego

Dear Readers,

It is hard to believe that 7 years have passed since we published, our first issue of San Diego Woman Magazine. We have covered some extremely interesting topics and met some amazing women along the way. Working with the people I have been lucky enough to meet along the way has made me grow as a writer, editor and as a woman. I am so proud of our special anniversary issue. Our cover girl, Susan Taylor, former News Anchor and current Director of External Affairs for Scripps Health, shares some very personal experiences that have led her into a new career. Music legend Huey Lewis and the News share their story with us prior to their San Diego performance at the Pechanga Resort and Casino. Don’t miss the special feature on the The Saxsations, the all-female San Diego based saxophone quartet led by Dr. LeiLani Vidal; doctor by day and sassy saxophonist at night. Check out our He Said, She Said and explore the topic of anniversaries from the male and female perspective. Yes, women remember them all…why don’t men? We have some amazing women featured in this issue. Take some time to read about Jean McAlister and her Regional Recovery Centers that were born out of her own personal struggle. As usual this is just a few of the great stories and great women you will meet in our 7th Anniversary issue.

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Thanks to our hardworking staff who have been working together since our very first issue. Having said that there is one thing I cannot leave out of this letter which is my thank you to all of those who have unselfishly offered their time, talents and hard work to make San Diego Woman a publication that has won some great awards and of which I am extremely proud. Thank you Sonali, for all the late nights, hard work, dedication, and beautiful designs that have graced the pages of every issue, you are amazingly talented. Thank you Lisa for your breathtaking photographic interpretations, often making the ordinary look extraordinary: Also, thank you for your flexibility, always being there for last minute photo emergencies. And thank you Bob, our wonderful copy editor, without whom I would look somewhat illiterate. I so appreciate your quick turnarounds when I receive a last minute contribution. To all our contributing writers, whose excitement is infectious and keeps me motivated even when the economy and the distractions of life get in the way. Thanks to those who have provided financial and emotional support and have been advocates for the causes we have promoted through the years. And thank you to all of our readers and advertisers who have supported San Diego Woman and provided feedback to make us a better magazine.

Sincerely,

Judith A. Habert Publisher/Editor-in-Chief

Subscription Information

Annual subscriptions available on request Please send name, mailing address, and check for $25.00 payable to San Diego Woman. Subscriptions can also be purchased online at www.sandiegowoman.com

San Diego Woman 11835 Carmel Mountain Road Suite 1304-346 San Diego, CA 92128 888 275 7125 858 735 5301 Disclaimer: Products, services, practices, websites or informational packets mentioned within our pages are in no way an endorsement by San Diego Woman, but are provided to our readers for informational purposes only. Privacy Advisory: Personal information provided by our readers will be used solely for the purposes of providing requested information and will not be shared.

Photographer: Lisa K Miller Model: Susan Taylor

Graphics/Magazine Layout: Sonali Soni www.sonalidesignstudio.com


Susan Taylor- A Debt of Gratitude ……………………………… Best Friends………………………………………………………… Dr. LeiLani Vidal- A Syncopated Life Style…………………….. Making The Right Choice………………………………………… Heart for Rock & Roll- Huey Lewis and The News…………..... Sports Mom 101 …………………………………………………… Above and Beyond ………………………………………………… Revolutionary New Product ………………………………………. Meze Greek Fusion………………………………………………… The Call……………………………………………………………… The Road to Cali…………………………………………………… Health and Fitness………………………………………………… Integrated Media ....................................................................... McAlister Institute of San Diego County………………………... Do you KNoodleIt?.................................................................. 8 Tips to Help Stop Rumination ………………………………… Always A Bridesmaid ................................................................ Take Time to Treat Yourself ……………………………………… Staycation…………………………………………………………… Laugh!.........................................................................................

Page 9 Page 11 Page 12 Page 14 Page 16 Page 18 Page 20 Page 21 Page 22 Page 24 Page 26 Page 27 Page 27 Page 28 Page 34 Page 36 Page 38 Page 39 Page 43 Page 48

Inside Every Issue Letter from the Editor ………………………………………………… Letters to the Editor …………………………………………………… Book Review…Once Upon A Mulberry Field………………………… He Said, She Said- Anniversaries…………………………………… Transitions with Carol LeBeau………………………………………… Women in Business Directory………………………………………… Bitchin' & Moaning............................................................................ Ask An Angel…………………………………………………………… Fabulous Finds…………………………………………………………

Page 4 Page 8 Page25 Page 29 Page 30 Page 31 Page 37 Page 40 Page 45

San Diego

Inside This Issue

Woman

Issue 2014

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Publisher/Editor-in-Chief editor@sandiegowoman.com

6 Sonali Soni

Creative Director

creativedirector@sandiegowoman.com

Woman San Diego

San Diego

Judith A. Habert

Woman

Behind the Pages

Judith A. Habert Publisher/Editor-in-Chief

Sonali Soni Creative Director

Robert Tussey Copy Editing

Lisa K. Miller Photographer

Jaime V. Habert Entertainment Editor

Now find us on:

www.sandiegowoman.com 11835 Carmel Mountain Road Suite 1304-346 San Diego, CA 92128 888 275 7125 858 735 5301 Graphics/Magazine Layout: Sonali Soni www.sonalidesignstudio.com

Facebook.com/SanDiegoWoman

myspace.com/sandiegowomanmagazine

twitter.com/SanDiegoWoman twitter.com/sdwomanconcerts


Joan is currently a Web Content Manager at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, Maryland, where she also writes a newsletter. Warming Up is her first novel. Her work has been featured on E-Zine Articles and in New England Poetry Anthology. She is a Staff Reviewer at Readwave and blogs at Second Avenue Story Club

Brian Brunkow, Esq.

Brian graduated with honors from Seattle University and is a San Diego-based CA and WA attorney focused on family law involving student-athletes and NCAA recruiting. A sometimes proud resident of Southern La Jolla, AKA Pacific Beach, Brian also coaches youth football and writes on sports parenting and NCAA recruiting at www.ZeroOffseason. Blogspot.com

Karyn Buxman

Meet speaker, author, and neurohumorist Karyn Buxman. While her classmates were dissecting frogs Karyn was dissecting humor. Her mission in life is to improve global health & business through laughter and to heal the humor impaired. www.KarynBuxman.com

Jeani Zuber Laurel Lilly

Carol LeBeau

Carol LeBeau spent close to 30 years as a beloved fixture on San Diego News. Today she is enjoying her retirement, as well as a second career as an in demand speaker at functions throughout San Diego. In addition to her many speaking engagements, Carol is a columnist for San Diego Woman speaking about life after her news career.

Debbie Storms

Debbie has enjoyed many careers from accountant to air traffic controller. She believes life is an adventure to be lived to its fullest. Growing up in New Jersey, she learned life skills to help her practice that credo. Her passion for travel has taken her to many parts of the world. She is now focusing on writing about her travels and interviewing entertainers, which is a great combo!

Lauren Feiner, Psy.D.

Lisa Matar

A San Diego State University graduate has lived in San Diego since 1997. After graduating with a degree in Art, with an emphasis in Graphic Design, she put her skills to work in the real estate industry. After enjoying a successful career, she retired and began fashion writing and blogging San Diego events. She currently resides in Scripps Ranch with her husband and two young children.

Laurel graduated from nursing school with honors in 1990 while raising three small children. After her youngest left home, she sold everything and joined a traveling nurse agency. Her first and only assignment was in "America’s finest City". So she settled in and went to work for Scripps Memorial Hospital.

Jaime V. Habert

Jaime is a music enthusiast with a passion for everything entertainment. She holds a degree in Business Management and is pursuing a Bachelor's in Music Business. Her interests are varied and she always has a story to tell. She takes every opportunity to write about the subjects she loves- all while working in Real Estate.

Dr. Lauren Feiner is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist in the greater San Diego area. She is a contract Psychologist at UCSD Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) in addition to maintaining a private practice in La Jolla, CA.

Jeani spent close to 30 years as a successful professional in the marketing and business development fields, which included both medical and private sector companies. Presently retired she takes great pleasure in her second career as a gifted free-lance writer for several publications. She is currently writing a book.

Eva Starr

Eva Starr’s spiritual journey has taken her coast-to-coast digesting the various schools of thought. Starr a transplant from Cleveland, OH currently writes for The Journey Magazine. When she’s not writing you’ll find her cooking for the homeless and the Veterans of North County. For speaking engagements contact her at evastarr24@ yahoo.com & visit her new blog starronthefly.evastarr. com

Lisa is the owner of Photography by Lisa K, a custom portrait studio located in San Diego, specializing in the highest quality portraiture. As the mother of twins, Lisa shines at capturing moments in pregnancy and early life. She shares her talents with many local charities www.photographybylisak.com

Jack M. Berkman Jack is President and CEO of BERKMAN Strategic Communications with nearly 40 years of practicing in San Diego. He is an accredited member of the Public Relations Society of America and holds the proud and highly coveted distinction of being inducted as a Fellow in the Public Relations Society of America in 2011.

Kristine Granakaia Kristina has over 13 years of experience in the fitness industry. She has a B.S. in Kinesiology. She specializes in Metabolic Typing Advisor, Trigger Point Thearpy, Corrective Exercise and Strength and Conditioning

Woman San Diego

San Diego

Robert has been a published writer for over thirty years and has been providing editing services for the past twenty-five. As a musician, he has written scores of songs. His life has revolved around his music and writing, often melding the two into articles and interviews.

Joan Verlezza

Lisa K Miller

Woman

Robert Tussey

P H OTO G R A P H E R s

W R I T E R S


Letters Editor to the

What a nice surprise to read a story about Ingrid Croce. I have dined at her restaurant for years and have seen her there, but never had the nerve to introduce myself and tell her how much I loved her husband’s music. It was such a great part of my youth. After reading her story, I will have to say hi next time and tell her how much I enjoyed learning about her life. Luanne from San Diego

One of the greatest things about San Diego Woman is how informative it is. I never heard of Proton Therapy until I read the article you ran about Scripps Center and Dr. Rossi. What is great about your magazine is that you always manage to keep us up to date on the newest technology to help the women of San Diego.Thanks Belinda from La Mesa

The Patio is one of my favorite restaurants, especially since I can bring my lab with me. There aren’t enough places that are dog friendly. Not only is The Patio dog friendly, but the food and service is outstanding. Thanks Gina for giving me and my best friend a spot to enjoy together. Renee from Pacific Beach

I love your new Women in Business Directory. I am making sure to save all of your issues so when I need to find a professional I know exactly where to look. Sue from Escondido

I have a complaint to make. Thanks to you I have not been able to lose those last five pounds. I am new to National City and was not aware of Niederfrank’s ice cream parlor, until I read the article on Patti Finnegan in your last issue. Now I am addicted. I love their ice cream and find my way over there as often as I can. Lisa from National City

Carol is so right about Listening. I do believe it is a lost art. People seem to always be more interested in what they have to say, then in listening to what is being said. Everyone could learn from Ms. LeBeau’s informative article. Lori from San Diego

I loved the article on Coronado. We rarely get mentioned in the local media. I was happy to learn about the food tour. I went on it after reading your article and it is terrific. Everyone who lives in San Diego should check this out. Karley from Coronado

Until reading the article about Wheelchair Dancing I had never heard about it. I am so happy that those who are confined to wheelchairs can still find it in their heart to swirl around the dance floor. This should be a lesson to all of us able bodied individuals who don’t take the time to dance. Keri from Poway

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Woman San Diego

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Susan Taylor "A Debt of Gratitude" San Diego

Woman

By Judith A. Habert

She has a smile that lights up the room and an attitude that says anything is possible. Susan Taylor spent more than 30 years in front of the camera as a News Anchor. After graduating from Boston University with a degree in Broadcasting and Film, Susan lost no time going out in the field and making a name for herself. While still a senior, she got an internship at the ABC TV station in Boston. She attended school three days a week and then spent the rest of her time working at the TV station as an associate producer, writer and location scout. Upon graduation, Susan decided she really wanted to be "oncamera". That road took a slight detour after a Spring Break ski trip to the Canadian Rockies, where she learned that the Commonwealth Games were being held that summer in Edmonton, Alberta. "I'd always wanted to work on the Olympics," said Susan. "The Commonwealth Games are similar to the Olympics with 54 nations of the British Commonwealth competing. Somehow I talked my way into an interview and told the folks at the CBC, the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, that I'd worked at the ABC TV station in Boston. Two hours later, I walked out, co-producing the stadium events for the Opening and Closing ceremonies. More than 5,000 volunteers put on the Commonwealth Games and I was hired to be the liaison between the volunteers and the CBC which was producing the Opening and Closing Ceremonies. I spent the summer dealing with Buckingham Palace and British protocol. It was very exciting and great fun!" A pretty impressive job for a young girl fresh out of college, but like everything Susan does, she put her heart and soul into it. After the Games ended, she marched into a local TV station in Edmonton. With this successful event as part of her resume, she was hired as

a reporter and given her own weekly public affairs show. Susan stayed in Edmonton until her visa ran out and then headed back to the United States to take on broadcast journalism in her own country. From Edmonton she went on to work in Hartford, Dallas, San Diego, Miami, Los Angeles, and back to San Diego. During this 30 year career of moving from state to state as a well-respected, Emmy award winning anchor and journalist, Susan covered major news stories. She's been shot at. She's been in 3 riots, one in Miami, the second in Israel, the third in Los Angeles. During her career, she covered the O.J. Simpson trial, the downfall of Panamanian leader Manuel Noriega, the Pope's trip to Miami, the Northridge earthquake and the 2003 and 2007 San Diego wildfires and of course 911. She also returned with troops from Iraq on board the final voyage of the aircraft carrier USS Constellation before it was decommissioned. In 1996 Susan met her husband. They got married in 1998 and a year later added to their family with the birth of their son. For those of us who watch the nightly news and ponder how exciting this lifestyle appears, we don't really take into account the all-encompassing lifestyle involved. The more success you enjoy as a news anchor, the more hectic your schedule becomes. With a husband and young son at home, Susan was constantly on the go. She would anchor the 4, 4:30, 5, 6 and 11 o'clock news. Taking care of her family in the morning, then driving to the studio, then home for a quick dinner and tucking their son into bed, and then back to the studio for the 11 o'clock news. She drove more than 100 miles a day keeping this schedule, and that was only if there was no extraordinary news event that brought her in to work earlier or kept her there later.

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There were several factors that weighed heavily in Susan's decision to change careers and embark on an entirely new profession. One was a critical health crisis with her father. Five years ago Susan's Dad had open heart surgery at Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla. He needed to have his aortic valve replaced. The surgery went well. The new valve was working perfectly. But there were complications stemming from her father's other health issues. "With a history of Parkinson's disease along with his heart trouble, both sides of Dad's heart were not squeezing in sync. One minute his blood pressure was through the roof, the next minute it was dangerously low. And the doctors were not able to completely close his chest..because when the surgeon knitted the bones back together, it put too much pressure on Dad's lungs and he started crashing. So the heart surgeon left the chest open..a little half inch gap. You couldn't see anything. It wasn't grotesque. It was covered with a sterile bandage." Susan's Dad was in a medically induced coma for more than 2 months. Susan would go to CCU in the morning before going to the studio and would stop in again on her way home. "I would come back to the hospital at midnight, after anchoring the 11pm news and to my amazement, his surgeon was still there. Dad's cardiologist stayed up many nights trying to find the right combination of drugs to help strengthen the right side of his heart, so it would squeeze in sync with the left side of his heart. This was an incredibly challenging case and Scripps did everything right." At one point Susan wondered, a little cynically, if her dad was getting this incredible care because she happened to be on TV. She came to realize, after walking the halls of Scripps at all hours of the day and night, that everyone who enters those doors gets treated the same way, with a profound sensitivity to the patient and their families. "They let us bring in family pictures. They let us bring in Dad's I-Pod. I will forever have etched in my memory, the sounds of all of his favorite classical music composers enveloping him, punctuated by the low beeping sounds of all those machines he was hooked up to." Eventually her Dad stabilized after a very innovative procedure that allowed the surgeon to close the half inch gap in the chest..using her Dad's chest muscles. The surgeon said he'd done this type of procedure only 2-3 times in his 30 plus year career. With this unwavering attention and medical innovation, Susan's Dad came out of the coma and began a very long road to recovery. "The staff at Scripps calls my Dad their Miracle Man. I call them the Miracle Workers." Susan's Dad spent 5 months at Scripps, reaching goals that they had only hoped he would attain. "Dad was on a feeding tube for 4 months. After he was given the okay, to eat real solid food, his Voice and Swallowing Coach asked what he wanted for his first meal. He smiled and replied: 'Costco hotdog!' No one asked her to, but she went to Costco and got it for him. Now that's 'patient care'! My dad had the will to live, but Scripps showed him the way." Susan credits much of the policy at Scripps, of putting patients first, to their CEO, Chris Van Gorder. A former police officer, Van Gorder was severely injured very early on his career by a suspect fleeing the scene of a domestic violence call. That suspect rammed into him with her car. Van Gorder was hospitalized for almost a year. That moment in time changed his life. Because of the severity of his injuries, Van Gorder left the police force. He went back to college to earn a Master's Degree in Hospital Administration. His unique perspective from having been a patient for so long, allowed him to view hospital care from the patient's point of view. Susan adds, "Chris has told me that the day of his injury was both the worst day of his life and the best, since it led to his new career and his mantra at Scripps, to always put patients first. And I'm constantly awestruck by the sense of family. We have nearly 14,000 employees at Scripps 5 hospitals and 26 Clinics. We look out for each other as family. And we have a no layoffs philosophy at Scripps. Chris says it's a failure of management if we have to lay people off. So if a job is going away because of the big changes taking place in healthcare, we send employees to the Scripps Career Resource Center to be retrained for other jobs in the organization. That's

pretty comforting in an unsettled economy. No wonder Scripps is repeatedly recognized by Fortune Magazine, AARP and Working Mother Magazine as one of the top employers in the nation!" But how did Susan end up as Executive Director of External Affairs for Scripps? "Over the years I'd run into Chris at different community events and I told him that I would always owe him and Scripps a debt of gratitude for saving my Dad's life. He would respond by telling me that if I ever got tired of the news business, I would always have a home at Scripps." When it came time for Susan to renew her contract at NBC, she was offered a long term deal that would have lasted until her son was out of High School. "I realized that the schedule I was keeping made me miss out on so much of our son's life. These were precious moments I could not get back. I didn't want to have regrets down the road. So I called Chris and almost jokingly asked if he was serious about his offer. Turns out, he was. We met and began to have a series of discussions which led to this new job. " It is obvious when you speak with Susan that she truly loves her job and is very proud to be a part of this well respected organization. In addition to keeping the public apprised of new innovations in medical care and treatment at Scripps, Susan is also involved in major gift fund raising. "Our reimbursements from the state and federal government over the next ten years will be cut by more than 300 million dollars, so raising money for Scripps is of major importance. We have to work smarter, cut costs, embrace innovation and rely on the generosity of others. We have extraordinary philanthropists who help us improve the quality of care and finance cutting-edge technology that our patients expect and deserve." Scripps is on the cutting edge of health care innovation. Scripps has partnered with Qualcomm to explore the marriage of health care and wireless technology. The Scripps Translational Science Institute is doing genomics testing on patients. Scripps new Proton Therapy Center which opened last month, is one of only 15 centers in the country giving doctor's unprecedented precision in treating cancerous tumors. And the new state-of-the-art Scripps Prebys Cardiovascular Institute opens next year. Thanks to these innovations lives are being saved every day. One of the latest "gadgets" recently approved by the FDA is an ultrasound that attaches to your cell phone giving doctors an instant look at blood flow. These units cost about $8,000 and go anywhere your doctor goes. It does basically the same job as an echocardiogram machine which could cost up to hundreds of thousands of dollars. Such innovation is bringing down the cost of health care. It's helping with early detection and improving survival rates. Since we, as a society, are living longer, such technology will allow more people to be treated outside the traditional hospital setting, closer to where they live work and play, making more hospital beds available, for those patients who really need them. I asked Susan if she missed being a TV anchor. "Sometimes I miss the pure adrenalin rush of being on the air. But I don't miss the murders, the rapes, and the car chases. The business has also changed since I got into television more than 30 years ago. Now, it appears to be more celebrity driven. At Scripps, I'm part of an organization that saves peoples' lives. That's a pretty exquisite environment in which to work. Plus our family owes Scripps an incredible debt of gratitude, that hopefully, I will spend the rest of my working years trying to repay. As for Dad? He just celebrated his 85th birthday. We had a big party! No, he didn't have a hot dog. But he had an extra big helping of birthday cake!"


BestFriends

Some memories are so vivid that years later you can remember the sights, sounds and feelings as if they were happening again. On an unusually warm afternoon in November I walked home from Washington Elementary School with my best friend, Marcella. For some reason we had been let out early. In the fifth grade, that’s usually a reason to celebrate. As we walked we heard conversation among the older kids about the reason for our early dismissal. The president had been shot. We weren’t sure what to make of it. We were growing up in uncertain times. A little more than a year before, we had walked home wondering if the Russian ships had turned around or if there would be a war with atomic weapons. On that sunny afternoon we wondered if the Russians had shot our president.

By Joan Verlezza

traveling that road with me. We have recently reconnected after some years, and it is as if we just talked yesterday. So think about the person you considered your best friend when you were growing up. Have you talked to them lately? If not, find them. It’s not hard to do in this information age. Tell them how much they meant and still mean to you. They’re part of who you are.

San Diego

Woman

We separated at the driveway that divided our properties, agreeing we would change (there were school clothes and play clothes back then) and meet at Marcella’s house. I can feel myself standing next to her, squinting at the television as the late afternoon sun shone through the living room windows. When a picture of the young, handsome President appeared, the glare made the screen a little hard to see. I shifted my stance to the right a little and saw the graphic in the upper left hand corner: John F. Kennedy 1917-1963.

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“I think that means he’s dead,” I said. “Yes, it does,” she confirmed. And every November twenty-second since then, when the nightly news carries the inevitable piece about that sad anniversary, I remember that day. I remember standing next to my best friend and learning one of the most frightening things I would ever hear. The next three days are firmly etched in my mind, too. For all of us who lived through those days the images of the coffin lying in state, the widow and children paying their respects, the funeral, the cortège and a host of sad events are all a permanent part of our memories. And through it all, my best friend was there. We talked about our feelings and the reactions of our parents and the world. And sharing those confusing times with someone I loved and trusted made it bearable. So it was through many years. Whenever there was something to talk about, something we struggled to understand, we handled it together. We negotiated our way through the births and deaths in our families, the confusing stages of growing into women, matters of war and peace and every big and small event in our town, country and the world. I want to say ‘thank you’ to Marcella for

First Day of School, 1959 Joan Verlezza believes everyone has stories worth telling and she is passionate about encouraging new writers. Warming Up is her first novel. Her work has been featured in New England Poetry Anthology. She is a Staff Reviewer at Readwave and blogs at Second Avenue Story Club.


By Judith A. Habert Photographs by Lisa K Miller

experts in this procedure. The focus of Dr. LeiLani’s Better Health and Wellness Center is “Beauty from the inside out.” With her prosperous Health and Wellness practice and a growing family, Dr. Vidal soon felt the urge to get back to her music. “This actually happened because my children were all getting seriously into music and I started to have a desire to share my love of music with them. I wanted to be able to jam with all of them.” Ironically, all three of her children were very involved in music, and they were all becoming very accomplished musicians. Her daughter Alexa, 18, plays classical and jazz piano; son Dominic, 16, plays the saxophone and bass, and her youngest Gino, 14, plays the trumpet, bass and the piano. Dr. Vidal adds, “Watching them get more and more into their music was exciting for me, and I decided to pick up my saxophone again and get back to my childhood passion. What I soon found out was how frustrating it was, because I was not as good as I had been as a child. The years away from my music had diminished my skill, and I knew if I was going to get back into playing the sax I would have to take lessons to get back up to speed.” It didn’t take long for Dr. Vidal’s skills to come back and she found that being able to share music with her children brought them so much closer together.

I am often amazed at the many talented women around me. Just when you think you know someone, which I must admit, is often based on physical appearance and attitude, do you realize that what you see is only a minute part of who they really are. Dr. LeiLani Vidal is a prime example of this. By day she is a Doctor of Chiropractic and the founder of the Better Health and Wellness Center. At night she trades her white coat for an edgy outfit and a sleek saxophone and becomes a member of the beautiful all-female Saxophone quartet known as the Saxations. Dr. Vidal was born and raised in Poway where she attended Poway High School, and is today still a Poway resident. Growing up in a musical family, she started performing with her parent’s band, Cam Vidal and the Blue Notes, at the age of 11. A popular band at the time, they performed at weddings, corporate functions and concerts throughout San Diego. By the time she reached college age she decided she’d had enough music and would instead pursue a career as a chiropractor. Content with a break from music, Dr. Vidal attended Southern California College of Chiropractic in Los Angeles, CA. It was only out of financial necessity that Dr. Vidal found herself playing at some local events to help with her tuition and expenses. After earning a Bachelor’s degree in Human Biology and, a Doctorate in Chiropractic, Dr. Vidal moved back to San Diego in 1992 and opened her first Chiropractic practice, in Rancho Penasquitos. Five years later the growth of her practice led her to find a new location in her hometown of Poway. Branching out from her Chiropractic practice, Dr. Vidal decided that she wanted to grow her business to include health and beauty. She went back to school to obtain training in Esthetics, and became an expert at lash extensions. Today her company "Glitz Now" teaches and certifies other

It wasn’t until Dr. Vidal attended a conference called the “Warren Hill Sax Summit” that she realized how rare she was. “I was the only woman in attendance at the conference. It was one of the speakers who caught my attention when he said that you didn’t have to be the best sax player, but the key to success is setting yourself apart from others, being different. I realized then that I wanted to create a female sax quartet.” Although, this seemed like a great idea, Dr. Vidal realized the biggest challenge was going to be finding three other female saxophone players. Finally she found one, who then led her to another, and before she knew it she had created her dream. An all-female saxophone quartet named “The Saxations.” What started out as a fun idea for Dr. Vidal soon turned into one of the hottest new groups in San Diego. The Saxations, which consists of four beautiful and talented women LeiLani Vidal, Allison Boles, Kyrie Lombard and Michelle Maynard. Their slogan, which says it all is “The Saxations, defining hot sax” The combination of beauty and talent on stage has produced standing room only audiences at their recent performances. Dr. Vidal, accustomed to excellence in everything she does, decided to approach her new band as she did her primary business. “I decided to go out and get the best professionals to work with our band. So even though there are only four of us on stage performing, there are a lot of professionals behind the scene, helping to make us the best we can be. We added a musical director, Gerard Nolan, who was also my sax coach. Gerard was very instrumental in hand picking our rhythm section with some of the best San Diego has to offer." Dr. Vidal also found the best arrangers in the business to make The saxation's custom arrangements, such as Rick Hirsch, musical arranger for Pennsylvania State University, and also well known smooth jazz musical arranger David Mann, who has composed many chart- topping smooth jazz hits and recorded with Rod Steward, Christopher Cross, Madonna as well as many others. Dr. Vidal also joined forces with a professional singer from Memphis, LaDon Jones, who performs with the girls regularly and also a professional photographer well known in San Diego, Lisa K. Miller, the magazine's photographer.


Dr. Vidal also went on to promote the group through Facebook and other social media, which she claims is responsible for a lot of their fans. “In fact it was some of the wonderful photos that were taken by Lisa and posted on Facebook that grabbed the attention of the owner of Sax Dakota, Peter LaPlace, and he knew he wanted me to be one of the faces of his company.” Sax Dakota, a well-known and revered Saxophone manufacturer, had worked with Dr. Vidal’s brother-in-law Richard Elliot, a well-known Sax player who was already a spokesperson for the company. Now Dr. Vidal would also hold this distinction, and soon to follow were The Saxations, the first all female group in the U.S. to be endorsing artists for a major instrument company.

“For a concert like this we will be including our rhythm section, which consists of our pianist Bobby Cressy, our bass player Kevin Freeby, our drummer Tim Newton, our guitar player Mark Fulton and our singer Ladon Jones.

This past September, The Saxations made their debut performance to a standing room only audience at Kaminski’s in Poway. They were amazed and humbled by the crowd that showed up. “It wasn’t just the band’s family and friends, as we had expected, but there were a lot of people there who knew us from Facebook or had heard about the band.” They have since been hired to play at many local venues, at corporate events, weddings and private parties, and they performed a sold out Christmas concert at Tango del Ray in Mission Bay.

I asked Dr. Vidal what her plans were for the future of The Saxations. “I want our band to grow musically and bring our talents up, play more challenging songs, grow our fan base, play bigger venues, and participate in Jazz Festivals and maybe do some traveling with the band. I also feel that we could be a great inspiration for women as well!” With three of the members having full time jobs and the remaining one in school, scheduling does sometimes become a problem. But it is obvious by the look in Dr. Vidal’s eyes and the passion she shows when she talks about The Saxations, that if anyone can reach these goals, it is Dr. Vidal and her talented band members. The one question I had to ask Dr. Vidal was ‘How do you find time to do it all?’ She admitted that it wasn’t always easy, but her Better Health & Wellness Center has grown to include an acupuncturist, a massage therapist, and a nutritionist. Dr. Vidal works three days a week at her center and dedicates the rest of her week to her music and her family. She laughingly adds, “My day job helps me support my music habit” For more information on Dr. Vidal and her practice visit her website at http://www.bhwc-poway.com/ or call for an appointment at 858 679 5544. For information on her jazz quartet and upcoming appearances please visit her site at http://www.saxations.com/

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They are now coming across a problem, which all artists would love to have; the venues that want to bring them on are too small for the crowds they draw. The Saxations will be appearing at the Escondido Performing Arts Center on September 3rd. They will be performing in two shows, one at 4 pm and the other at 7 pm.

Dr. Vidal’s children were so inspired by her success with the band that they have formed their own band, called The Juvenile Jazz Band, and includes young musicians from Poway High School and Twin Peaks Middle School. Dr. Vidal is so proud of their success she adds, “They have gotten so good, that I have had them opening up for our band.” Truly a family affair, her daughter was a dancer at their last performance.

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14

Making the Right Choice

Dr. Jason R. Hess By: Amy-Marie Cook

Photos courtesy of Dr J. Hess

Every day thousands of women look at themselves in the mirror and wonder where all the years have gone. For some, the aging process has been kind and gentle. Others wear the years quite visibly. They are convinced by the empty promises of over the counter products, quick fixes, and “lunchtime lifts.” However, many realize that there is no miracle potion. When all else fails, some consider plastic surgery. This option is an exciting one, but women often spend far more time deciding to do the surgery, and very little time choosing their surgeon. This lack of research can often be seen on the faces of our favorite former celebrities. Finding a qualified plastic surgeon with the proper credentials is critical. Dr. Jason R. Hess specializes in aesthetic and reconstructive plastic surgery in San Diego. He is Board Certified by the American Board of Plastic Surgery, the only board for certifying plastic surgeons. Dr. Hess specializes in the most difficult of plastic surgical procedures including facelift, tummy tuck and Rhinoplasty. His patients and peers respect him for his meticulous attention to detail and his compassionate approach to patient care. “It is clear he cares about his patients and strives for excellence in his profession. It's a pity more doctors do not demonstrate Dr. Hess' humanity and kindness. Having plastic surgery has had a powerful effect on the way I view myself, not just physically but emotionally too,” remarked Vanessa Feistel Meyers, a plastic surgery patient. His patient explains that she chose Dr. Hess because her friend had excellent results from her surgery. “ I don't think most people realize what an effect a positive plastic surgery experience has on a person; the results are not only incredible, they’re life altering. Words cannot express the gratitude I have for Dr. Hess,” the woman added. According to Dr. Hess, “Our face is our most unique and powerful means of communicating with one another. We share our emotions and feelings quite visibly. An aged and fatigued appearance can affect our relationships as well as our perceptions of ourselves. He explained that not all facial aging is treated with facelift surgery. Plastic surgery results are the most ideal when approached on a least invasive to most invasive basis. That is, wrinkles around the

mouth may be treated simply with fillers. Furrows on the brow may respond to Botox. A sagging neck may require a neck lift alone. When tissue of both the face and neck demonstrate laxity and sagging, however, a facelift may be the best option. In particular, facelift surgery is effective in restoring mid-face volume and minimizing unsightly jowling as well as the dreaded “turkey neck” appearance that comes with age. About her surgical experience, Mrs. Meyers concluded, “Dr. Hess's work is more natural looking. He took a lot of time with me before and after the surgery. The care I got from Dr. Hess and his staff was first class.” Dr. Hess’ office is located at 4060 Fourth Ave., Suite 120. San Diego, California. He can be reached at (619) 357-4552


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Photos Courtesy of Huey Lewis

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But wait, there’s more! So much more to Huey Lewis and The News and the rockin’ shows they have been performing for more than three decades: A marvelous creative ride selling over 20 million albums. They are Grammy Award winners and have written and performed their Top 10 hits such as, “If This Is It”, “I Want A New Drug”, “Power of Love” and the ever-lovin’ “Doing it all for my Baby”. They ended 2013 with a successful tour marking the 30th anniversary of “Sports” and the release of an expanded commemorative 2 CD set featuring live performances on one disc and studio recorded releases on the other. Huey said, “The tour went great, we played the entire album front to back and it was fun to do and very well received.” Huey Lewis and The News brought yet another great performance to Pechanga Casino and Resort in Temecula on March 7th. They are a band with “Heart & Soul” and just keep getting better. Huey lives part of the year in San Diego. He was very excited about doing the show in Temecula. “To play and have people show up is the greatest challenge because ultimately you stay in the

business to play music,” are words Huey lives by. Ultimately, he feels that allows him to make choices which speak for him creatively. His creative juices starting flowing at a young age: His Dad, who was a radiologist, was also an amateur musician; he played both drums and the piano. The family’s living room (when he was growing up) always had a set of drums in it. Huey remembers it looked like the cool thing to do, plus there was always music around him. In high school he started playing the harmonica and then he crossed paths with Billy Roberts, a folk singer and songwriter. One of Billy’s songs is the Jimmy Hendrix rock classic ‘Hey Joe’. Billy rented a room from Huey’s Mom after his parents divorced. He would play the harmonica around the house and one day gave one to Huey. “He sent me on my way with my first harmonica.” In his early days, Huey was inspired by Ray Charles, Otis Redding and Little Walter. He recalls, “In the 1960’s when I heard Otis Reading live his music blew my mind.”


soul of the band. Starting in the late1980’s they donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to fund a program to train doctors to deal with aids patients through the University of California-San Francisco. Over the years they have played to sold out crowds to raise funds to support crucial education and mentoring programs for at-risk-youth, pediatric cancer patients and many others who need help from coast to coast. Huey is a longtime supporter of Bread & Roses and continues today through his music and his great golfing skills, playing celebrity benefit tournaments worldwide, to raise money for worthy causes. Huey does not fall short on talent. He has stretched his creative self when he starred in the Broadway show “Chicago” as the rapscallion lawyer Billy Flynn. He also appeared in the television

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Huey graduated a year early from high school, at age seventeen, because he skipped second grade. He claims it was because he was “great at sandbox.” His Dad advised him to travel after graduating. Taking his Dad’s advice, he hitch-hiked across Europe and all the way he played his harmonica. This was the beginning of being paid for what he knew was his passion. Once he returned home, he was accepted at Cornell University in New York State and, as he says, “I attended Cornell for five minutes in a two year period.” So, the engineering department lost a student and we gained three plus decades of Huey Lewis and The News. We win! While at Cornell, he formed his first band and covered the top 40 songs on FM radio. His passion for music comes through when he quips, “I like listening to certain music but all music is fun to play.”

17 The music business has gone through many changes in the last 30 years but Huey and The News feel their timing was good. Their experience, as Huey says, “We went from obscurity to number one and that only happens once and it’s like a rocket ship ride and then life is different.” The band has been known over the years to satisfy loyal fans and young converts alike with their full-tilt musical shows. I asked him about the success they have enjoyed and how their music has a life of its own. Huey spoke confidently about making choices that speak to him creatively. “Ultimately you stay in the business to play music but you also have to be a good businessperson. There is the band, including four founding members, and then thirty plus people that have bills to pay. In the long run, they have economic considerations and they meet them by playing music.” Generosity and giving back has played a role in the heart and

series, “Just Shoot Me”, “One Tree Hill” and movies “Sphere”, “Shadow of a Doubt”, “Duets” and Robert Altman‘s “Short Cuts.” This is just a snapshot of the man behind the music and how he has brought his talent and smoky bluesy voice to us. He just keeps getting better. Huey Lewis and The News recently performed at Pechanga Resort and Casino. Visit their site at http://www.hueylewisandthenews.com/ for upcoming performance dates.


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Sports

Mom 101 By Brian Brunkow, Esq.

Moms are the glue of every sports program – she rocks the “mom walk” across the practice field when the “little ones” head for the sandbox. She tirelessly organizes fund raisers for high school programs, and NCAA recruiters know that mom is the “shot caller” for where her child will attend university. So for the new sports mom (no background in sports or former athlete) it’s important to learn about these three areas: Mom’s role in youth sports, developing mental toughness in young athletes, and preparing for the college recruiting game.

Sports Mom Role: Align Goals. Not every kid plays sports for the same reason. For some

Basinger. After a 9-year marriage, Baldwin and Basinger waged war with an 8-year custody battle, involving $3M in court costs and legal fees, and ninety plus court proceedings. Really? As a divorce lawyer, I’ve seen how difficult it is for a parent to take the “high-road” when the ex is playing games and uncooperative. But please remember the default position of doing what is in the “best interests” of the youth athlete. And I wish I could say that being the “bigger person” miraculously changes an ex’s bad behavior. Chances are it won’t. What it will do, however, is create a more positive experience for a child stuck between two warring parents.

Developing Mental Toughness in Youth Athletes it is a passion. For others, it’s simply a chance to hang out with friends after school. Bad Game Protocol. An effective pre-game routine is to discuss specific Ask questions. Find out why your child wants to play and then align your “worst case scenarios” with your student-athlete and talk about how they goals to support their goals. It doesn’t really matter if YOU were an all-state will respond. Working through possible worst case scenarios beforehand “baller” back in the day because this is the child’s season and experience. and accepting that mistakes will happen can reduce game-day pressure Too many parents try to relive the glory days through their kids or equate and anxiety. parenting skills or status with their child’s athletic skills. This is especially Also, create space between a bad performance and post-game life lessons. important for former college athletes who may not know just how difficult it Let the sting wear off before offering constructive ideas for improvement. is for the “rest of us” to develop athletic talent. Too many times I see parents replaying their son’s mistakes after a game Parent – Don’t Coach. Players play, parents support, and coaches before they even get to the car! Give it 24 hours before having that convercoach. Simple rules yet complex roles. Sports moms won’t agree with sation – the player will be less defensive and more receptive. Ask openevery decision the coach makes. You may not like the coach, their style ended questions in areas the player has control over and can improve upon of play or personnel decisions, but if you trust the coach with your child’s like effort; attitude, intensity, concentration, and being a good teammate. physical and mental welfare then please allow the coach to coach. They Having these pre and post game routines is an effective way for sports earned the title “coach” through many hours of unpaid time on the field mom to support her young-athlete. away from family, paying and traveling for coaching education and studying Be Present. The most common trait of mentally tough athletes is the ability game films on the weekends. to “get present.” When “present” the athlete focuses on process-oriented If you want to work with your child at home on technique definitely speak to goals rather than outcome, and channels energy on what they can control. the coach ahead of time and find out what technique to teach. But rememThere is a ton of youth sports psychology resources available: Research ber, the best way to be effective is to let the coach do the coaching and for that fits your parenting style – just make sure to use age appropriate strateparents to play the supporting role – be the emotional backstop for your gies. child and provide unconditional support and encouragement for the ups and Seven Mental Roadblocks. If this is your child’s first sports season, redowns of youth sports. view those areas where he or she has struggled making progress outside of Divorce and Co-Parenting. (ALERT….Easier Said Than Done Secsports (school work, chores, etc). It usually involves a combination of these tion!) Divorced parents should get on the same page with sports schedulseven roadblocks: procrastination; perfectionism; fear of failure; analysis ing and expectations. Use the “best interests” standard when determining paralysis; limited comfort zone; indecision, or complacency. Expect to see and allocating parental responsibilities. The goal is to achieve what is these same roadblocks pop up in their athletic development. Develop a in the best interest of the child, not the parents. This includes the child’s plan to keep them motivated. emotional growth, health, safety, and physical care. I see the same probThe NCAA Recruiting Game lems every season with parents not communicating with each other – the player shows up at football practice embarrassed because he is missing his Academics. Grades count. “Core Course” requirements start the freshhelmet between custodial transfers, or a parent routinely drops the player man year of high school for NCAA athletic scholarship eligibility. Core off late to practice, or removes the player from the team three games into a courses are those that receive high school graduation credit in the following season to “show” their ex. areas: English, math, sciences, foreign languages, comparative religion, Co-parents need to support the child’s athletic experience regardless of and philosophy. how toxic the relationship is between the “adults.” First map out the yearly Starting August 2016, for NCAA Division 1 athletic eligibility, your child athletic schedule, including summer clinics, and then create a flexible must achieve a 2.3 GPA in 16 core courses before high school graduation. parenting plan that supports those sports commitments (not the other way "Jewels" Mixed Media onof paper Seven those 10 core courses must be in English, math or science; and around). ten of the 16 core courses must be completed before starting the senior One anecdote I share with parents every season is Alec Baldwin vs. Kim year of high school. (See the NCAA Eligibility Center link below for details).


the bad news. The worse news is that these academic requirements, amateurism standards, and recruiting restrictions start the freshman year of high school - so study up on the byzantine world of NCAA compliance before high school starts. The good news, however, is that the NCAA provides several free resources for parents. Considering bookmarking these websites: NCAA Recruiting Guidance: NCAA.org NCAA Compliance Bylaws: NCAAPublications.com National Letter of Intent and Scholarships: NationalLetter.org NCAA Academic “Core Course” Requirements: EligibilityCenter.org Lastly, have fun! Roughly 70% of kids quit youth sports by age 13. And a recent survey by 1-9 Sports showed that 76% of working moms were glad when the season finally ended. No bueno. Something needs to change if the majority of kids and moms are not enjoying youth sports. Develop a game plan that works for your family. Youth sports shouldn’t be a chore; it should be fun. It is a game after all. Brian Brunkow is a San Diego-based attorney and consults on NCAA recruiting. Brian@BrunkowLaw.com

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The Black List. Coaches talk. Coaches communicate with each other and keep the toxic parents on radar. The coaching fraternity/ sorority runs from the introductory level up to high school varsity. And then from varsity coaches to college recruiters. According to the NCAA, only 3% of high school athletes earn an athletic scholarship - so if your child is in the rare position of being recruited, you’ll want to stay off the “black list.” Recently, a New Jersey sports dad sued his son’s high school track coach and school for $40M after his son was cut for excessive unexcused absences. What college coach wants to deal with that family for the next four years? It’s simple - if a high school coach has five kids from his or her team getting recruited, and a certain parent did nothing but create conflict, that coach won’t see the problem parent as a priority - don’t let parental bad behavior or ego cost a student-athlete a scholarship opportunity. Recruiting. What’s the difference between a “quiet period” and a “dead period” in the recruiting calendar? Is a homesick college freshman penalized for dropping out after signing a binding letter of intent? Can a free taco lunch with a sports agent wreck a kid’s future? The NCAA Division 1 Manual is a brain-charring “read” that weighs in at a robust 432 pages of rules, exceptions to the rules, and exclusions to the exceptions…to the rules. And no pictures. That’s

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ABOVE BEYOND!

AND

Pechanga Resort and Casino is the largest resort-casino in the entire Western U.S. and has a “WOW” factor that captures you the moment you enter the newly renovated Grand Entry and hotel lobby. Upon entering the lobby you are captivated by a striking floor to ceiling rain curtain that impressively gives the illusion that droplets are appearing from thin air at the top of the recirculating water feature. Quality abounds from the highest level of finishes and materials that Pechanga utilized to excite their guests. You know you are in the right place as you are greeted by the Four Diamond guest services of the front desk staff. The multimillion-dollar renovation of the hotel lobby, VIP Check-In-Lounge, two restaurants and the two new dining outlets added to all the amenities Pechanga offers at this unmatched AAA Four Diamond Award winning property. This luxury and comfort is nothing new to Pechanga who has won this esteemed award every year since opening in 2002. Pack your bag for a vacation, a staycation, or spend a fun day at Pechanga, but no matter how long you stay you must bring your appetite. The epicurean adventures offered will please every palate. More than a dozen options are brought to you by the award winning Great Oak Steakhouse, Pechanga Buffet, all the way through Blends Coffee and Wine Bar, just to mention a few .Your gaming options are offered on a more than 200,000 square-foot casino floor and there is a dedicated nonsmoking casino floor area - both with 24-hour gaming action. If you would like to play bingo with some of your closest friends, it is available every day at the 700-seat, ultra-modern Pechanga bingo. The 3,400 slot machines are bound to find a winner along with the 130 gaming tables. If you choose to play high limit games there is an upscale salon with more special amenities. There is something for everyone! The entertainment does not stop there. Live shows from big names like Huey Lewis and The News to Kenny Rogers are yours for the taking. The night comes alive with music and dancing at the Casino Cabaret along with live DJ dancing at The Eagle’s Nest. Time for a laugh? Every Friday and Saturday stand up comedians hit the stage at The Comedy Club at Pechanga. Live Championship events like Boxing, MMA and Muay Thai are featured in the 2,000 seat Grand Ballroom. Just when you were wondering if there is anything to do outdoors, one of the top 20 golf courses in California (as reported by GolfWeek Magazine) is right in your backyard. Journey at Pechanga is a links style course designed by Arthur Hill and Steve Forrest - a par 72 course built into the native canyons and ravines of the Temecula Valley. Along the way cultural artifacts from native Pechanga people can be found dotting the course. The award-winning pro shop carries top golf gear and apparel, cigars and more. The shop is found in the 62,000-square foot Journey’s End clubhouse featuring the pro shop, restaurant and bar and expansive outdoor patio. The clubhouse also plays host to weddings, banquets, corporate functions and other events throughout the year with its more than 200,000 square feet of indoor and outdoor meeting and function space.

Thinking about relaxing by the swimming pool and spa or on the oversized sundeck with private cabanas, but you may have forgotten some essentials? Then just head on down to one of the two high-end retail shops. There you will find the largest selection of designer merchandise in the Temecula Valley. Ready to add tranquility to your relaxation? Spa Pechanga provides massage and facial treatments, body wraps, exfoliation, couples massage and more. The spa also offers a steam sauna as well as a fullservice hair and nail salon. A state-of-the-art complimentary workout facility is available for all hotel and spa guests. All accommodations offer top-notch amenities. Each room features floor to ceiling windows for you to enjoy the gorgeous scenery. Check out all the great packages that are available for your fun filled escape. Pechanga Resort and Casino goes “above and beyond” to provide a truly splendid getaway in the Temecula Valley and has something for everyone. Pechanga Resort & Casino 45000 Pechanga Parkway Temecula, Ca.

1-877-711-2946 www.Pechanga.com


Revolutionary New Product That Makes Smoking Healthy By Judith A. Habert

How can this be, you may ask? Katarina Maloney and Janell Thompson, former roommates in San Diego, embarked on a new business venture and created Hookahzz, an e-cigarette company who actually cares about your healthThe New craze for electronic cigarettes is popping up everywhere. We see them in kiosks in the mall and on infomercials on TV, but Katarina and Janell decided to take it one step further with their groundbreaking product. In the midst of the major marijuana controversy going on across the country, Hookahzz decide to introduce a groundbreaking product that is only available through their company. Janell explains, “Cannabidiol (CBD) is one of the two key ingredients in hemp products. The other is THC. The first element CBD is referred to as the good element since it provides all of the medicinal benefits without any of the mood or mind altering characteristics. The second element, THC, is the component responsible for the” high” smokers feel. So we developed a product which includes e-cigarettes and e-Liquids which are infused with CBD only. Providing the user with only the medicinally beneficial element of the hemp plant. This has never been done before. We are the only e-cigarette company that has a CBD infused product” CBD has been found to be effective as a pain reliever, anti-nausea, antiinflammatory, and anti- anxiety element. It has also been found to help control blood sugar levels, reduce seizures, ease symptoms of PTSD, and promotes bone growth. Most exciting of all has been the recent success achieved for cancer patients. It has been found to actually inhibit cancer cell growth. All of this without producing the typical “high” associated with cannabis. Few people are aware of this, but CBD is not an illegal substance and under US law it’s considered a nutritional supplement.” Their CBD infused e-cigarettes and CBD infused liquids were so popular that they were asked to participate in the Oscar’s $85,000 Swag Bag and have since received emails from a few celebrities for additional product information The original reason for the creation of e-cigarettes was to help end the habit of smoking. So it is understandable that they would be so popular

when you take into account that about 43.8 million (or one in every 5) adults in the United States smoke. Many wish to quit and rely on e-cigarettes to help them do so. These e-Cigarettes are designed to look like “real” cigarettes and mimic the smoking experience, while delivering the nicotine that smokers crave, but without the cancer-causing tar in regular cigarettes. Hookahzz most popular product are disposal electronic watervapor-emitting devices that are great tasting and a smoke and tobacco-free alternative to cigarettes.

San Diego

Leave it to two local women from San Diego to not only revolutionize smoking, but to create a product, which has also found a foothold in the current Marijuana legalization debates.

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Photo by Lisa K Miller

When you consider that cigarette tobacco contains over 6000 chemicals, many of which are known carcinogens including acetone (finger nail polish), cadmium (used in batteries), carbon monoxide (car exhaust) and arsenic( poison), you have to wonder why anyone would put their health at risk to smoke tobacco. Unfortunately, many people do not have the willpower or the desire to give up their unhealthy obsession. Katarina explains, “Our product is very different than cigarettes. Our e-cigarette utilizes vegetable nicotine, eliminating the harmful toxins, smoke, ash and unpleasant odor associated with traditional cigarettes. Our products create pure vapor (steam, condensation, and moisture) not actual smoke. This means that those around you do not have to fear the consequences of second hand smoke.” Hookahzz, LLC e-cigs and e-liquids can be purchased either nicotine free or with varying levels of nicotine. One of the unique aspects of the products offered by Hookahzz is that it can also be used to help smokers quit their tobacco habit. Katarina explained, “If you’re trying to stop smoking, we also offer several levels from 24mg of vegetable nicotine to 0mg. You can start with 24mg and lower your dosage each month until you realize you are smoking a nicotine free product, which pretty much means you did beat the habit” This is one of the many reasons that, according to Business Week, the e-cigarette industry is expected to top $1 billion in annual sales in the next few years. So whether you are looking for relief from a myriad of health issues, which CBD can provide or are a smoker who has finally decided that it is time to quit Janell and Katarina company Hookahzz can provide the solution. For more information, and to purchase these unique products visit their site at www.hookahzz.com or call 1-800-823-2804 or email: katarina@hookahzz.com or janell@hookahzz.com FB: facebook.com/ hookahzz

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Meze

Greek Fusion:

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When restaurateurs tell you that they were born and raised in the kitchen, we often assume it is hyperbole. But in the case of Raymond and Patrick Davoudi it is true. The Davoudi brothers grew up in San Jose, California with their parents in a house attached to their uncle’s high end French restaurant, where their father was the executive chef. The restaurant business seemed to be a natural course for the boys. Raymond was only seventeen when he waited tables at their exclusive restaurant. Seventeen was especially young to be waiting tables in an establishment of this caliber. Although the boys tried other fields for a short time, they always seemed to find their way back to the restaurant business. It was as if destiny would drive them toward their current profession. Raymond’s best friend’s uncle moved to San Diego and opened a restaurant. Not too soon afterwards, he suffered a severe heart attack and could no longer run the business. A phone call to

By Judith A. Habert Photos Courtesy of Meze Raymond made him pack his bags and head from Northern California to San Diego to help this family in crisis. Here he was new to the area, with no friends, and the opportunity of a lifetime. After a short time, trying to navigate all of the moving pieces he realized that he could not be successful without some help. He placed a call to Patrick, his brother in Northern California, and asked if he would be willing to move to San Diego to help him with this monumental task. Raymond asked for a one year commitment and if he liked it they would be partners, if not, he could return home. It didn’t take long for Patrick to realize that the restaurant in San Diego was where he wanted to be. The next step was to decide what type of restaurant they wanted to own. Drawing upon their ethnic background and experiences they wanted a restaurant that would include Armenian, Greek, Persian, and Lebanese food. An executive chef was brought in to complete their vision and Meze Mediterranean Grill was born. Although, they thought it was a great idea to have a versatile menu, they soon realized that it was a mistake. Potential customers were unsure what type of food was considered Mediterranean. It was this fact that made them rename their restaurant Meze Greek Fusion. We asked Raymond what they did at Meze that was so unique. His response was, “We serve many of the same food items that other restaurants do, what is different is how we prepare them” Having had the pleasure of enjoying several meals at Meze I can tell you that their food is exceptional. There are a few signature dishes that I had never tasted elsewhere, one of these is Saganaki (which is pan seared Kasseri Greek Cheese finished with brandy and fresh lemon juice and set on fire at table side). Not only is it an impressive show, but the final product is addictive. Meze is also known for having the best falafel in town. This is a food that the Davoudi brothers grew up on and had mom make them every Sunday for Brunch. What is unique is some of the same foods you may have had in other restaurants are just so much better at Meze. When you order sliders at Meze you are pleasantly surprised to find them filled with ground lamb, beef, and pork mixed with garlic, onions, mint and fiery feta spread. These are sliders you will never forget.


Meze is located at 551 J St, San Diego, CA 92101 Visit them online at www.gaslampmeze.com/ for more information or to make a reservation.

San Diego

Aside from the great food and service, let’s not forget the entertainment. Drop by on Saturday night and be mesmerized by their talented Belly Dancer, or, come in for cocktails and experience their hookahs which are tar, coal and smoke free and are filled with fruit flavored liquid. Or try a traditional hookah. Raymond and Patrick, are not only great restaurateurs, they are really great people, It is apparent from their relationship with their staff, that they don’t view them as employees, but instead as family. As far as the relationship with their own family, they admit to how much they miss their parents who still live up North. This will change shortly they will be opening a second location in Mission Valley which will be run by their parents who they are moving here from Northern California. Whether you are going to Meze Greek Fusion for a great meal or the overall experience, you will not be disappointed.

Woman

One of the most popular dishes on their menu are their Kabobs. Honestly, the best I have ever tasted. Their secret is a special marinade which I was lucky enough to become privy to, but if I tell you I would have to kill you. But trust me, the flavor and moist quality of the meat make them melt in your mouth. Choices of kabobs include Lamb tenderloin, Chicken, and Filet Mignon. In addition to the delicious menu items, dining at Meze isn’t just about the food; it is about the overall experience. Their staff is attentive to your every need. Andrea, our server was amazing; always there to be certain we were happy with everything we ordered. She even suggested some of her favorite food items for us to try.

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Jerked awake from the weight of my head bobbing side to side following a particularly grueling shift at the hospital, I wasn’t convinced that the uneasiness I felt stemmed entirely from my decision to bend the rules on a school night. My daughter’s skill at presenting her case could have swayed the most discriminating of juries. In her closing argument, flashing her winning smile, she reminded me of her squeaky clean record and her numerous academic honors and awards. I felt like I had no choice but to deliver a verdict in her favor and let her go. Furthermore, I knew his parents kept close tabs on their children. Distracted by the pleading voices on public television, I thought it must be the insistent barrage of fund raising chatter that had me on edge. Glancing at the clock, I realized it was forty-five minutes before she was due to come home. Calling her at this point would only risk damaging the trust we had so precariously established. She will be here soon, I convinced myself, and decided to get something done instead of watching the seconds tick by. As I prepared school lunches for the next day, lost in the mental review of the never ending to do list, I realized that it was my phone ringing and not the phone from the television. I darted too quickly in the direction of the phone, tripping over the stool, sliding on the scattered newspaper and miraculously, landed upright with the phone next to my ear. Once the caller identified their location, an overwhelming wave of dread rippled through me. I knew the rest of the call would require me to muster up all the maternal strength I had, the kind that can lift a car off of a pinned child, to get through the next few moments.

helped his Dad restore the classic car that he so proudly pulled in to our driveway a few hours ago. Did that qualify him as a skilled driver? Did I remind her to wear her seatbelt? Did I remind him to stay off his cell phone while driving? Were his parents there yet or were they also stuck in this insane traffic? At last, we arrived and pulled into the Emergency parking lot. I wanted to sprint through the doors, leap over the receptionist desk and find my little girl, but I refrained and walked stoically beside her Father. On the inside, I was screaming, my baby, not my baby as I gave the clerk her name. She left us with nothing to hang on to but a sympathetic smile and the reassurance of her quick return. I was well acquainted with that look. It was the same look I had given to many family members over the years. Panic was trying to consume me, but one look at her Dad and I knew I had to pull a dose of calm and pseudo-reassurance from out of my own nursing bag of tricks.

The Call

Getting only vague details, I slammed down the phone and reviewed what information I would reveal to my spouse before awakening him. Based on previous reactions to emergencies, I braced myself for his anger, blame, and panic once he grasped the severity of the situation. Deflecting his questions by stressing the importance of time and unity, we were both in the car, wide eyed, in less than two minutes. On the way to the hospital, attempting to offer reassurances to my spouse (while secretly hoping and praying what I was saying was true) I saw a tow truck with a wrecked vehicle coming toward us. My hope just dove off a cliff. Trying to keep my head facing forward, I studied the truck as it passed. He followed my gaze despite my efforts. In a frantic tone he asked me if that mangled thing could have possibly been the car she was riding in. Getting past the denial myself, I swallowed the large lump that had gathered in my throat and calmly as I could, told him that I believed it was a different model. The silence in the car was suffocating. I think I would have preferred more accusations and admonitions to this muteness. Feeling nauseated, I opened the window to let in some cold air. As I numbly stared at the scenery rolling by, I noticed all the usual strip malls and fast food joints seemed foreign and stark. And why did we have to hit every single red light? And why did he seem to be driving so slowly when normally he drove like a rookie Nascar driver, careening in and out of traffic? If only she wouldn’t have received the call from Jason, her latest crush: If only she wouldn’t have been so convincing about his trustworthiness. So what if he is a 4.0 student, wrote for the school paper, and

As if in a trance, we were unable to take our eyes off the area where the clerk had disappeared down the hallway. Finally, she returned with a serious looking woman in a white coat. When the woman in the white coat identified herself as our daughter’s Doctor, we followed her like a dog waiting for a treat. It seemed like we were in some kind of endless maze of hallways, doors and partitions. She stopped in front of a cubicle with a curtain pulled around it and faced us. She seemed to be speaking in slow motion; something about facial swelling and braces and how lucky our daughter was. Like hearing a song directly from heaven, I recognized her feeble voice from behind the curtain, “Mom, Dad, is that you”? I interrupted the Doctor’s explanations and drew the curtain back. There she was, tears streaming down her face, and ours now as well. On a gurney, strapped to the backboard, with a C-collar around her neck, she reached out to us with her one free arm. I grabbed on to her precious hand and she squeezed back. We both bent down and gently kissed her salty cheeks. She looked up at us with her braces all askew and with her lips swollen to twice their normal size, half smiled and said, “I feel like Bubba from Forest Gump”. Here she is the one all banged up, and she is providing the comic relief. At that point, I knew she was going to be alright and let out the breath that I had been holding in ever since the phone call.


http://www.mulberryfieldsforever.com

San Diego

Woman

To describe the writing in this book as eloquent would be an understatement. C.L. Hoang transports the reader through time back to war torn Vietnam. His description of what it was like to be a soldier during this time in history is poignant. The characters we grow to love throughout this amazing novel are multidimensional and familiar to the reader. A story that begins in present day and then takes us back through time to go through the trials and tribulations of war, the loss of friends, the loneliness of leaving your family behind, the frustration of not being with loved ones during momentous occasions is all handled with authenticity and compassion. As most writers know, one of the first elements of writing is to ‘write what you know.’ C.L. Hoang knows Vietnam, the people and the places. His descriptions are rich in history and customs. Roger Connors, a childless widower is facing a life changing experience. He has been diagnosed with cancer and after going through the loss of his wife to the horror of breast cancer, he wonders if the deforming surgery and subsequent sickening treatments post-surgery was worthwhile. When he gets a Cancer diagnosis, he decides that his wife only held on as long as she did for his benefit. He now realizes he has no one to hold on for and decides to let the cancer take its course. That is until a note left by an old wartime friend makes him question if perhaps there is a reason to fight. We relive the relationships Roger forged in Vietnam and the story slowly unfolds before our eyes, making this novel a hard book to put down. Despite my lost sleep, I found Once Upon A Mulberry Field to be one of the best stories I have read in a long time. There is something for everyone in this novel. It touches upon the brotherhood of soldiers and the pain of a challenging love story. My only moment of disappointment was when I came to the end, I felt like I was saying goodbye to old friends and I wanted more. Hopefully C.L. Hoang will treat us to another wonderful novel.

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The Road to Cali By Eva Starr The day had come: December 4th, 2007 Cleveland, Ohio, to say good-bye to the life I had known. Nothing but sunny skies and ocean breezes and full steam ahead as I headed for San Diego driving my Nissan with bits and pieces of my life - leaving everything else behind. My travel plan was to drive south, cut across Indiana, Illinois, and St. Louis and then start heading west to Taos, New Mexico, hoping to swing by the Grand Canyon, and see Sedona …WRONG! Never having traveled cross country before I thought I’d stay in these little neighborhood towns where there was an Aunt Bee who’d put me up for the night, feed me, and then I’d write about my journey. First stop Greensville, Illinois, where I stayed in a dive trucker motel ending up in ER the next morning with a severely infected ingrown toenail the size of a golf ball. As I sat on the gurney sobbing, I wondered if I’d made a mistake. The doctor didn’t know the first thing about feet and sent me off with antibiotics and painkillers, telling me to look up a podiatrist in California. Where is Aunt Bee? I arrived in St. Louis about the same time the first bout of ice storms hit the Mid-West: Not knowing which terrified me more - traveling through the Ozarks, or side-by-side with every eighteen-wheeler in the country. The people from these parts call the Ozarks ‘foothills’, that’s when I realized this little Ohioan had no idea what a mountain was. It was getting darker, the storm worsened, the truckers got closer, and my handprint was etched in the leather of the steering wheel. “Gladys, (the name I gave my GPS) get me out of this mess, and to the nearest exit!” I pulled off the road to another motel with a restaurant attached, looking a little less sleazy than the last one. I checked in, grabbed a burger, and ordered a glass of wine. “What do you mean you don’t serve alcohol?” The waitress pointed yonder and said there was a liquor store just down the road. I finished my burger and headed out. This can’t be happening (I thought), not only was I lost, but also the road had ended. There wasn’t a light, a house, or a human in sight. My mind raced back to scenes from Deliverance. The night was black as coal, I was

overcome with fear, and my anxiety level was off the charts. Dear God where is Aunt Bee? What was happening to me? I am a pioneer, a leader, "Danger? I laugh in the face of danger! Ha! Ha! Ha-ha!" What happened to the young Simba I once was? I traced my steps back to the motel, and asked for directions again. I found the liquor store, grabbed the only bottle of wine I saw decent enough to drink, wiped off the mound of dust and headed back to the motel. I went to the front desk and asked for a wine opener. A motel without a corkscrew! I headed back to my room and started to cry - why wasn’t I prepared? I ran a bath and called my step-mom. I sobbed as I stared at the bottle of wine and cried “Sally I can’t do this, I’m scared, all alone, and the weather is horrendous, also I found out I’m petrified of semi’s and the mountains!” Her soft voice and calming manner tried to sooth my sobs “Yes, you can do this. I know you can, you’re strong, courageous and adventurous.” Her faith in me was unwavering, it was the thought of turning around and going back that kept me moving forward. I cried myself to sleep; morning came quickly. The weather channel stated the ice storm had hit Kansas and was heading my way; I needed to head for Oklahoma as quickly as possible. My plans for Taos had since diminished, they had their own bout with Father Winter and I didn’t want any part of the snow, nor the mountains. Heading toward Oklahoma I made it as far as Elk City, where I was stranded for three days with ice storm number two. The days went on; I changed my route and headed toward Roswell, NM, hoping I’d get abducted by strange-looking green men who would take me to their leader. As the story goes that didn’t happen. I finally made it, eleven days, nine motels, three thousand miles and here I was in San Diego. It’s now been six plus years and Aunt Bee never did show up, but what a journey! Eva Starr’s spiritual journey has taken her coast-to-coast digesting the various schools of thought. Starr a transplant from Cleveland, OH currently writes for The Journey Magazine. When she’s not writing you’ll find her cooking for the homeless and the Veterans of North County. For speaking engagements contact her at evastarr24@yahoo.com & visit her new blog starronthefly.evastarr.com


Sleep: Are you getting enough of it? Getting 7-8 hours of sleep is essential to obtain long-term weight loss and avoid adrenal fatigue, amongst other things. There are numerous research studies confirming that consistent lack of sleep will keep the pounds on you along with increased risk for various health problems. Lack of sleep increases appetite for sweets due to lack of energy, as well as, increased caffeine or energy drink consumption, finally leading you to search for quicker more convenient food choices that are not as good for you. It’s a vicious cycle that eventually takes a toll on health and waistline. Stress, Emotions and Hormone Imbalance: Just about everyone can admit that they experience stress in one form or another on a daily basis. We are always on the run, trying to push ourselves to be more efficient, effective, get more done in less time etc. In fact stress, is dubbed as a disease of the 21st century. A common side effect of being under stress is weight gain thus creating a strategy to reduce or manage stress can significantly improve success in attaining your fitness goals. Along with stress emotional trauma from the past, or present, can contribute to undesirable hormonal responses that halt your progress. Toxic overload: This item is often overlooked. Once the body is overburdened with toxins from chemicals found in food, cosmetics, medications and environment it becomes nearly impossible to lose weight. Although, it may not always be detected through blood tests, however once your liver (major detoxification organ) is overloaded, it is common to acquire a condition such as Non Alcoholic Fatty Liver. This is a condition where your liver, instead of burning fat stores it. Side effects of medications could potentially cause weight gain or inability to lose weight, in which case contacting your doctor and figuring out a solution is advisable. Diet: Eating less and exercising more has a success rate of about 8%. Understanding that Laws of Thermodynamics cannot be applied to the human body is essential in this case. A person only uses approximately 20% of calories eaten toward kinetic energy (movement) the rest is used for vision, respiration, digestion and repair, thus if you are attempting eat less and move more it will eventually take a toll on your health. It is important to recognize that all calories are not created equal, so figuring out ideal macronutrient ratio for YOU is highly important. A nutrition program that is not right for you can cause unnecessary weight gain or rebound by imposing stress, hormone imbalance, and damaging your metabolism. Movement: Lack of movement is equally as bad as lack of recovery. Adhering to the quality over quantity principle is always the right choice and spares you from set backs due to injuries. If you haven’t been actively exercising walking or other light aerobic activity is a great start. However if you are a fitness fanatic proper periodization is a key to staying off the injury track and maximizing results. For any additional information or resources regarding presented information please contact: Kristina.granskaia@me.com

By Jack M. Berkman In the following months, I will be sharing with you a variety of PR/Marketing Communications techniques to assist you with better positioning your product, service or Brand. I am very proud to join the team at San Diego Woman Magazine who is consistently dedicated to bringing its readers the very highest valued content. With the shrinking of traditional media and constant evolution of digital communications channels, the overall communications environment is quickly taking a more integrated and direct approach towards reaching and influencing the consumer. Of course, this consistently includes using social media tools like Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, just to name a few, to create direct viral buzz among target audiences; leveraging video sharing platforms, such as YouTube, to add personality and creativity to a story or your special announcement. Using these powerful platforms adds endorsements, credibility to a company, product or brand. Relying exclusively on traditional TV, radio or print media to reach and influence target audiences, has somewhat diminished and become almost secondary in today’s “wild west” communications landscape. However, the good news is this slew of new tools that can be used to effectively reach and engage with your target audiences, thanks to the plethora of communications technologies and approaches. But how can you best use all of the new technology tools available to be effective and cut through the massive information clutter, to present your messages with the “trust” they so vitally need to have for today’s fickle consumers. Below are a few tips: 1. Develop and Communicate Key Messages. Every organization, business, product or Brand has distinctive messages that clearly position them from their competition. Develop Five (5) keep them short and precise and they become your “elevator pitch”. 2. Staying consistent with your key messages is extremely important. Inconsistency can create confusion and prohibit you from maintaining a clear and concise Brand identity, all accruing to your “trust in the marketplace”. 3. Create a Conversation. Consumers are bombarded with new information every day. In order to hold their attention you must give them something new. Simply pushing information about your business will only reach those looking for it. To create new opportunities, you must network with others, creating a conversation interesting enough to attract new followers. Keep it compelling and fresh.

San Diego

As we reach the point in the New Year where at least a third of people who made New Year's resolution call it quits and the rest are left wondering how many more calories they can cut out of their diets or burn at the gym in order to reach their goals, it’s a good time to sit back and reflect on why the resolution effort ended so soon or what else can be done to assist with the resolution without burning the candle at both ends. In fact there are many untapped options left on the table:

How to Promote Your Company Using Integrated Media

Woman

Health and Fitness

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4. Stay active. In order for these new technologies to work in your favor, you must stay active. One advantage of these new platforms is that they are linkable. You can link your personal Twitter and Facebook; Facebook and YouTube; YouTube and Blogs, etc. By staying active on all of these networks and keeping all social networks connected to one another you offer the consumer different outlets to receive your valuable information. Don’t go dormant. 5. Listen to your audiences. Understand what your target audiences are interested in talking about before joining the conversation. This will ensure that your interactions with them are meaningful and will make an impact on the actions they then take when armed with the information you are offering. 6. Don’t ignore these evolutionary processes. To be successful today in effectively communicating your messages, you must understand and embrace these advancements. Stay in the conversation and remain relevant and valued. 7. Staying in close touch with today’s rapidly changing consumer marketplaces, are essential today. These technologies, if used correctly, can be very powerful in connecting with your target audiences, influencing them in a meaningful way, all creating a quality following beneficial to your Brand acceptance and prosperity. Next month I will explore the immense value of quality networking. Today, in order to create a Brand with trust and confidence, interpersonal connectivity is essential. It adds a layer of confidence and high value to your message. If you are effective in presenting your Brand, never dismiss the incredible value of networking. Without it, you are doomed for failure. Jack M. Berkman is President and CEO of BERKMAN Strategic Communications with nearly 40 years of practicing in San Diego. He is an accredited member of the Public Relations Society of America and holds the proud and highly coveted distinction of being inducted as a Fellow in the Public Relations Society of America in 2011. Berkman has represented many of the most prominent organizations in the Western USA as well as serving on more than 25 major boards and associations. He is currently the Communications Chair of the Exploratory 2024 Committee seeking the Olympic bid. His hobby is Auctioneering and has raised over 2Million for charities here during the past 25 years.


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McALISTER INSTITUTE

OF SAN DIEGO COUNTY

By Jeani Zuber McAlister Institute is a non-profit organization with multiple Regional Recovery Centers. It specializes in the compassionate care and treatment of individuals and families suffering from drug and/or alcohol addiction. I arrived at the corporate office of the McAlister Institute with great anticipation. I was very excited to meet and talk to a person who, at age 24, was addicted to alcohol and who has been sober for the past 57 years. She is a well- known pioneer in the field of recovery. I was greeted by a petite, energetic, down to earth and stylishly dressed woman. She warmly invited me into her office. The first thing she said was “I’ve been sober for 57 years and I know what it takes to stay sober and I want to touch other people’s lives.” Founded in 1977 by Jeanne McAlister, the McAlister Institute has earned recognition as one of San Diego County’s leading resources for helping people restore their lives and return to a more productive and meaningful way of life. Jeanne McAlister remembers her drinking days well, waking up after a black out and not knowing where she had been the night before. Deep depression consumed her. Many times she had a recurring dream feeling like she was in a tunnel with an opening at the top, but it kept getting smaller and smaller. Jeanne would wake up screaming, recalling how she felt during this nightmare, trapped and not able to get out of the tunnel. She was afraid she was losing her mind and knew she had gone over to the dark side of life. These occurrences brought her to a critical point: She had to make a decision to quit drinking and get her life back. She met a friend who introduced her to a recovery program where she had a new beginning. Jeanne states, “I overcame alcohol when it wasn’t really popular for women to actually admit they were alcoholics.” Not only was she a female, but she was the youngest out of only three women who were attending the recovery meeting. The rest were all men. On one occasion while she was in one of the recovery meetings, a man pointed his finger at her and told her to go back out in the world and drink, since he had drank longer than she was old; she was 24 at that time. That kind of ridicule was only one of many hurdles Jeanne had to overcome. She says, “I was so down and wanted so desperately to get out of the way I was living. I fought and stayed in recovery. I recognized I was in some kind of trouble. I didn’t know what it was but I knew my life and my way of thinking were messed up. Actually, it was horrible.” Jeanne states, “There is still a stigma about alcohol as well as drugs; no one wants to talk about it. People rally behind curing cancer and cancer awareness as well as other diseases, but our disease kills just as many people. It affects just as many people if not more and yet no one ever mentions us until some famous person dies of an overdose of drugs and alcohol.” The McAlister Institute (over the years) has developed and offers 25 programs that represent a complete continuum of care for the prevention and treatment of alcoholism and drug addiction. These programs have been tailored to meet the needs of individuals, families, and communities that have been affected by substance abuse. They include Adult Outpatient and Adult Residential Programs; one of the first in the nation to provide housing for women and their

Photo Credit: Jeani Zuber

children while the mother is in recovery. Teen Outpatient Treatment Programs, including detox programs, which are very unique. The McAlister Institute is the only facility in the State of California that offers detox treatment to adolescents. In addition there is Adolescent Residential Housing Programs as well as programs for pregnant women, ex-offenders, homeless men, and individuals dealing with their co-occurring past as well as their current addictions. I asked her from her years of experience in this field what helps people the most. Jeanne believes, “One thing all agencies have in common is that we only have a short period of time to help someone. So McAlister Institute’s whole thrust is to get a person hooked-up with a lifetime support system. We are very particular about a person’s after care. In recovery you have to find the support system that helps a person stay clean because alcohol and drugs are very insidious diseases. These addictions will come back around to haunt you when a thought comes back into your mind to take a drink or do drugs. You have to be on your guard the rest of your life.” Jeanne McAlister (in 2010) was the first Alcohol and Other Drug (AOD) specialist to be named Mental Health Person of the Year for championing programs that address co-occurring disorders and integrate substance abuse and mental health treatment. I asked her about receiving this award. Her response was, “What an honor it was personally as well as an honor to my field. It was the first time in 25 years that someone was recognized representing Alcohol and Other Drugs. Today people’s drug and alcohol use is much more complex. Our programs integrate the mental health aspect. Part of recovery is learning to forgive yourself. “ Jeanne gives her phone number to everyone and you can call her on her cell phone anytime. This lady is truly exceptional! She received a text message while being interviewed. She read it to me, “My daughter overdosed and was revived; her friend was not so fortunate. Finding your cell phone number, she called you at seven a.m. on a Sunday morning and you answered. You graciously asked her to call back on Monday that you would find a bed for her. She came to your program for several months and completed it. Next Thursday she celebrates her one year anniversary.” This text message deeply touched Jeanne. This is what she lives for, to help others regain their lives. Jeanne’s granddaughter, Marisa Varond, works with McAlister Institute as their Director of Development. Marisa coordinates events for the Institute as well as other outreach programs. An upcoming annual event Walk for Sobriety is scheduled for June 21, 2014. Further details can be accessed at Walk for Sobriety.com. Marisa also has utilized YouTube as a resource for McAlister Institute to educate and reach out to people seeking information about drug and alcohol addiction. As this attractive and charming young woman spoke with great admiration about her grandmother, she made a comment, “She will love you until you love yourself.” You can reach McAlister Institute at www.mcalisterinc.org to locate a Regional Recovery Center near you or call their corporate office at (619)442-0277.


He Said, She

Said

Photos by Lisa K. Miller

Are Men really from Mars and Women from Venus, as author Dr. John Gray states in his bestselling book? Do men and women really see things that differently? If given the same question could their answers really be so different? At San Diego Woman we wanted to explore the differences between "them" and "us". Read this month's installment and find out how the sexes differ when it comes to communicating with each other. What topics would you like to see us duke it out over in upcoming issues? No topic is off limits, so write me at editor@sandiegowoman.com. I can't wait to hear from you!

Anniversaries I must admit, most of what “He Said” about anniversaries rings true. If you should ask us what we want for our anniversary or birthday and we say, “It’s ok sweetie, you don’t need to buy me a gift. Just spending the day with you is all the gift I need.” No…We really don’t mean it…well all of it. Of course we do want to spend the day with you, but you had better have a little surprise waiting for us by the end of that date. It doesn’t have to be a big gift, after all, diamonds and other forms of jewelry come in very small packages. But all kidding aside, most women don’t judge the gift by the price tag, but instead by how much care went into purchasing the gift. If you and your lady were on a shopping trip three months earlier and she passed a purse, picked it up, put it on her arm, looked in the mirror and sighed over the image she saw and you surprised her with that very purse for your anniversary, buddy you just struck gold: You listened and bought her a gift she loved. That is a win-win situation. It is no big surprise to most of us that a great motivator in the minds of men is “What can I do that will make my lady so happy with me that I am guaranteed to have an evening of mad passionate love making?” Yes, we know that is at the core of everything you do, but the truth is that we know in the morning whether or not the evening is going to end as you would like it. As a well-known female standup comic once said, “If men would just keep their mouths shut they would get a lot more sex. The more they talk the less likely we are to carry out our original plan for the evening.” I honestly do not know a single woman who all of a sudden became filled with lust because of a high priced gift. It is the romance. We love the romance. Especially when it comes to anniversary celebrations. Yes, we expect you to remember the day we were married. If you can’t remember the most important day in your life perhaps that would be a good tattoo to get on your wrist or ankle, because the pain from the tattoo would be nothing in comparison to the pain we will inflict should you dare to forget the most magical day of our lives. And yes you should also remember the day we met, the day of our first kiss, the day you proposed, the day we signed our first lease on an apartment together, and the day we opened our first joint bank account. Come on, how hard is that? I have to admit, women do seem to have a larger area of the brain in which to store these important dates then men do, but that does not let you off the hook. Why do you think we agreed to buy smart phones? The real reason was to be certain you have a calendar on hand at all times in which to place ALL of these important dates. And don’t forget the alerts so you don’t end up having to run out the night before to buy us a gift. Three days in advance is a respectable amount of time, in case it takes several days to find the perfect gift to commemorate the opening of that joint bank account. Oh, and let’s not forget that if you plan on sending us flowers, it should always be to our office or place of employment. Flowers sent to our apartment, where no one but you and I will see them, is a waste of perfectly good flowers. Women want their co-workers to be envious - no, make that green with jealousy, at what a thoughtful and considerate husband or boyfriend we have. Plus, everyone who passes your desk will say “Oh is it your Birthday/Anniversary today?” We love the attention, and the jealousy. That extra-large section of our brain, where we store the special dates, also has a separate compartment where we store all the times you failed to meet our expectations. We might not say anything that night, but yes, it is true….it will come up again. And we do not believe you when you say, I don’t remember doing that, even though you probably don’t because your brain compartment is full of baseball, football or golf stats, instead of what it should be full of, our precious important dates. More than any part of the “He Said” comments, the one I take the most offense to is quoting the Female Code of Conduct. Who is the traitor who told him about our FCC? Now we are going to have to rewrite it once again…Come on ladies, stick together.

San Diego

Woman

Anniversaries are the third rail for men in relationships. Valentine’s Day, birthdays, other holidays that simply don’t make any sense: The day we first met – including the who, what, when, where and why. The Vernal equinox. The first time I sent you roses. The second time I sent you roses. Really? And don’t forget the florist because there will always be a better one ‘you could’ve used just a block away.’ It’s true that most men like their birthdays remembered – even though we deny it. Because, we think we might get lucky (wink wink, nod nod). Again, really? Truth be told, we’re better in the beginning of relationships than after a few years, married or not. Whereas women aren’t looking for the getting lucky thing as much as how creative you are with the gift(s) and the romance: When she says not to worry about a nice dinner or anything fancy, you had better make this night an event her girlfriends will gaggle about for months. If you fail this (by taking her at her word) you won’t suffer immediately. Nah, this goes in the bin for a later date – where you will be helpless in defending yourself. And, you cannot make it up the next day. It might as well be twenty years later because you have shown how ‘little you care for the important things’ in her life. You’ll know when Karma is about to bite your backside when she, out of nowhere, begins a conversation with, “You remember that time when…” You can’t feign enough regret and consolation to get over on this one. Oh, you’ll offer to make it up by doing anything she wants. Seriously guys, this lacks panache and common sense. If you tell her you will do anything she wants she’s going to think, “This is the guy who missed it the first time, and wants me to tell him what will make me happy?” Men, you have violated the Female Code of Conduct (FCC) under section 35, subsection 82 that says, ‘if I don’t know what I want, how can I tell you.’ We have to get it right the first time, every time. This is our burden in life. And if you have the long term planning ability to get it right for thirty years and you give her this wonderful gift on the thirty-first, you’ll hear, “Didn’t you get this same gift on our sixteenth anniversary?” Men go bald for a reason! But I can tell you that nothing lowers the blood pressure better than getting the perfect gift, the perfect dinner, and that look in her eyes that says ‘You did good.’ If we could verbalize our relief there would be some small island off of Peru where someone would say, ‘Did you hear that?” Most guys I know agonize each year about anniversaries (all of them). At my last count there are at least twenty-two sure fire ‘don’t mess this up’ days. And that’s just from a straw poll I’ve been doing. Ok, the poll was only one of my buddies, but you can see where this is going. We cannot write these on calendars – you have to. Men, have you ever heard, “Well, if you can’t remember something as simple as this!” you know that you don’t get the help of the written word. The FCC (Female Code of conduct) says in Section 1 Subsection 2, “When he starts to catch on to our FCC, CHANGE THE CODES!!!!

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Transitions Loren Nancarrow is gone. It’s still hard to believe. After bravely battling brain cancer, my friend and former TV colleague passed away in December at the age of 60. We’ll never know- this side of eternity- why Loren was taken from his family, friends and thousands of fans in the prime of life. It’s just not fair. But from the moment Loren received his grim diagnosis, he decided not to waste a moment pondering “why me?’ “The doctors tell me I have between one and three years to live,” Loren wrote in his blog shortly after his diagnosis. “So, boo-hoo, poor me.” Then, with grace, class and his signature sense of humor, Loren showed the rest of us how to live to the max and die with dignity… living each day with a grateful heart and a hopeful spirit. Loren only got ten more months…but he filled his final days with fun, family and a sense of purpose—using his health challenges and high profile to help others with cancer and inspire thousands through his touching blogs. Nowhere was that inspiration more evident than at Loren’s celebration of life service at Cardiff Beach. More than a thousand of us laughed, cried and comforted one another as paddlers formed a circle beyond the breakers and floated flowers in Loren’s honor. Many believe it was Loren himself who ordered the spectacular sunset that signaled his final goodbye. As the crowd dispersed, my media pals and I remained on the darkening beach. The memorial was over, but we weren’t ready to leave, that’s when Jody Hammond, former News 8 reporter and friend to Loren got an idea. She invited any of us who could to an impromptu gathering at her home to talk about and toast our TV colleague. For hours, fifteen of us…all Loren’s co-workers over the years… reminisced about our dear friend. We represented several local TV stations…Jim Laslavic from 7/39, Liz Purcell from News 8. Photojournalist Mike Ineman, producer Janine Nakama and yours truly were part of the 10 News contingent. But that night—standing around Jody’s kitchen island—we may as well have been from the same station. No matter where he had worked, or with whom, Loren was loved. Through laughter and tears, we shared countless touching and hilarious remembrances about the guy who transformed his home into a “ranch,” from which he would report on every fruit, vegetable, herb and critter known to man…a guy completely unafraid to dig deep into a heap of compost or a heap of political controversy …the guy who insisted on calling me “Clara Bow,” despite years of protestations.

with

Carol LeBeau

When the night ended, Loren was still gone, but thanks to Jody’s warmth and hospitality, we’d been given the gift of a little more time together to mourn and celebrate our friend…providing closure for the gaping hole in our collective heart. Please keep Loren’s remarkable family in your thoughts and prayers. Those of us who knew and loved Loren have lost a friend…but Susie, Hannah, Graham and Britta have lost their husband, dad and hero. May God richly bless them and give them comfort in their grief

Donations are being accepted for the Loren Nancarrow Healing Garden. So far $250,000 has been raised. A goal of $500,000 is needed to name the entire garden after Loren. This will help fund patient services, which honors Loren's wish to help as many cancer patients as possible. It also honors his legacy and all that he gave to San Diego in the past 30 years. You can join in this effort by visiting this site and making a donation. www.scripps.org/Loren


San Diego Woman Magazine’s Women in Business

KATHRYN RUDLIN, LCSW Therapist in Private Practice Helping women thrive from the experience of growing up un-mothered. My comprehensive approach addresses healing at all levels; body, mind and spirit. Office location: 10175 Rancho Carmel Drive San Diego, CA 92128 Website: www.ghostmothers.com Contact info: 619.987.5471 krudlinlcsw@att.net INVITING INTERIORS OF SAN DIEGO Carolyn Burdette, The Doctor's Decorator. Redecorating the private practice healthcare provider's office to create a more welcoming environment for their patients. 9921 Carmel Mountain Road # 317, San Diego, CA 92129 United States 858-722-5924 Carolyn@DoctorsDecorator.com www.DoctorsDecorator.com "Transforming the Waiting Room into your Reception Area" METRO CATERING AND EVENT PLANNING Cheryl Phillips Raiken Recognized for exceptional, healthy cuisine and wonderful service, Metro Catering has the distinctive dedication and style that assures complete satisfaction. Metro Catering 6625 Top Gun Street #101 San Diego, CA 92121 858 626 2800 cheryl@metrocateringsandiego.com http://www.metrocateringsandiego. com

GERVAIS WATSON LLP Kara L. Gervais, Attorney at Law Real Estate, Business, Litigation 10636 Scripps Summit Court, Suite 102 San Diego, CA 92131 (858) 549-1071 Email: karagervais@gwlawllp.com Website: www.gwlawllp.com DONNA M STEWARD, INC. DBA: Your Real Estate Place Donna M. Steward, California Real Estate Broker and Realtor We have always helped women. We make loans, buy and sell real estate, and we are a property management company. We work with home modifications and short sales. 2911 S. Santa Fe San Marcos, CA 92069 (760) 598-9889 dm-steward@sbcglobal.net SHOP WITH JOY Joy Bell -- Independent Miche Representative The Miche Bag -- Endless Possibilities™ Always stylish. Always convenient. Always affordable. Always there for you no matter what you're wearing today. It's your new favorite accessory! So you. So now. So Miche 4484 Cynthia Pl San Diego, Ca92105 (619) 818-0710 ShopWithJoy@cox.net www.ShopWithJoy.net VERNETTA'S DANCE STUDIO Vernetta Bergeon Established in 1962, San Diego's oldest and Most celebrated dance studio. Ages 2 thru any age, no one is too old to dance. Tap, Ballet, Jazz, and Ballroom, First wedding dance. Private and Corporate parties Quality service at an affordable price.

Located in the North Park Lions Club 3927 Utah St. San Diego, Ca. 92104, 619-260-1707 ww.vernettadance.com vernettadance@cox.net KAREN DIETZ Business story expert, coaching, training and consulting with leaders and businesses of all types to connect, unite, and inspire people to achieve dramatic new goals. Convey your values, vision, and mission with stories to affect change, engage customers, and grow your business. 2802 Grape Street San Diego, Ca92102 (619) 235-0052 dietz.karen@gmail.com FINANCIAL PLANNING SOLUTIONS, INC. Shelley Lee Boyce, CFP®, AIF® Providing financial services for over 25 years 2784 Gateway Road Suite 102 Carlsbad, CA 92009 (760) 929-1180 slboyce@financialdesign.net www.financialdesigns.net BRIGHTBODY ULTIMATE FITNESS FOR WOMEN Dana Dansereau Full gym and spa for women of all ages. Group and individual training and classes including SeniorFit, GroupX, Yoga and Pilates. Summer programs for you and your kids. Special classes for special interests such as Managing Menopause, DeStress with Exercise, Essential Oils and You, and much much more! 5125 Waring Road San Diego, CA 92120 (619) 582-2155 dana.dansereau@brightbody.com www.brightbody.com SAN DIEGO NORTH CHAMBER OF COMMERCE Debra Rosen President & CEO Building Vibrant Communities Through Stronger Commerce San Diego Women's Week A week of Empowerment, Inspiration and Connection www.sdwomensweek.com 10875 Rancho Bernardo Road Suite 104 San Diego, CA 92127 (858) 487-1767 drosen@sdncc.com

Nancy Fagan The Divorce Help Clinic Divorce Mediation Services (858) 863-3380 www.TheDivorceHelpClinic.com The Divorce Help Clinic LLC is unique in that we only take on nonlitigation clients. We focus on finding out-of-court appropriate solutions for tough decisions like custody, support, and finances. When people leave our office, they leave with an agreement that they fully understand, one that they have crafted together with their spouse and feel good about. Hookahzz, Llc Katarina Maloney & Janell Thompson Healthy. Affordable. Revolutionary Hookahzz Is an E-cigarette company that actually cares about your health. We make the healthiest E-Cigs on the market at an affordable price For everyone. We proudly produce Ecigs and E-Liquids infused with CBD Hemp Rich Oil. Be part of a new era where even smoking is healthy! Hookahzz, Llc, Www.Hookahzz.Com P: 800-823-2804 E: Katarina@Hookahzz.Com Or Janell@Hookahzz.Com Fb: Facebook.Com/Hookahzz

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FINANCIAL FOCUS Gloria Foote, CFP® and Barbara Williams, CFP® 1903 Wright Pl #150, Carlsbad, CA 92008 760 431 3040 barbara.williams@natplan.com www.fifo1.com

LA VITA COMPOUNDING PHARMACY Deb Hubers & Chris Givant "Helping women Live Better Longer through personalized prescriptions" 3978 Sorrento Valley Blvd., Suite 300 San Diego, CA 92121 858-453-2500 www.LaVitaRx.com info@LaVitaRx.com

Woman

HERA HUB Founder, Felena Hanson Spa - Inspired flexible work and meeting space for female entrepreneurs. Create, Connect & Collaborate. Locations: Mission Valley, Sorrento Mesa, Carlsbad www.HeraHub.com info@HeraHub.com 855-HeraHub

Raymond James Financial Services Cheryl Giustiniano, CFP Ms. Giustiniano provides financial and investment advice throughout San Diego. She has over 20 years of advising experience. 300 Rancheros Drive, Suite 200 San Marcos, CA 92069 phone: 858-776-4437 email: Cheryl.Giustiniano@RaymondJames.com website: http://www.FinancialJourneys.com Ashley Ackerman Active Wear for the Strong, Vibrant Woman. Our line of Women's Active Wear is designed and made in San Diego. Contact me personally, Ashley Ackerman at 855-624-FIGG (3444) or figgwear@gmail.com. Take a moment to review our high quality line of women's yoga and athletic wear at www.figgwear.com

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San Diego Woman Magazine’s LOTUSRAIN NATUROPATHIC CLINIC, INC. Dr.Kristine Reese At LotusRain we offer Naturopathic primary care in a positive, light-filled space. Additional services include IV Therapy, Integrative Oncology, HBOT, and Infrared Sauna. Join us in your pursuit of optimal health by contacting our office via:email at dr@drkristinereese.com phone at 619-239-LIFE (5433) or visiting us online at www.lotusrainclinic.com We are located at 5210 Balboa Avenue, Suite F, San Diego, CA 92117 Optimize your care, your health, your life! STREETER PRINTING, INC. Adrienne Streeter, President Streeter Printing has been successfully serving the San Diego County Community since we were founded in 1980. We offer full service offset & digital printing as well as graphic design, bindery & mailing services. 9880 Via Pasar San Diego, CA. 92126 (Located in Miramar area) (858) 566-0866 ais@streeterprinting.com www.streeterprinting.com EAST COUNTY MORTUARY & CREMATION SERVICE Uyen Do Tender, Caring, Compassionate, Knowledgeable And Attentive To Your Needs. "A Woman's Touch." 347 N. Magnolia Ave El Cajon, Ca 92020 619-518-8510 dothaiuyen@gmail.com www.eastcountymortuary.com Howard West Coast Realty Nancy K. Howard Real Estate Broker Agent-Owner Serving All North County Coastal & Inland "My Concern is You." Real Estate Broker Agent-Owner 760-215-0615 nhowardRE@yahoo.com http://www.howardwestcoastrealty. com/ Elizabeth “Liza” Pille VP-Wealth Management The P & L Group at Morgan Stanley Morgan Stanley Wealth Management 4350 La Jolla Village Drive, suite #1000 San Diego, CA 92122 Phone-858-597-7796 Fax -858-597-0455 Toll Free 1-800-299-0812

Women in Business

Liza.Pille@MorganStanley.com Referrals are the cornerstone of our business success. Your referrals are both welcome and most sincerely appreciated. For market updates and other wealth management tools-as well as an easy link right to your account information- please visit our website at: http://morganstanleyfa.com/pandlgroupsb Rose Cove Jewelry Lori Tussey Attractive Jewelry At Affordable Prices Special Occasion & Everyday Lori.tussey@att.net 619 929 1341

Media4Women your partner in entrepreneurial success Bobbye Brooks Co-founder, President Tonilee Adamson Co-Founder, CEO A Full Service Marketing & Media Company Websites, Mobile Apps, Social Media, and Online & Offline Marketing. If you would like to schedule a FREE consultation to discuss your business' social media, website, and marketing status, call 800-992-0369. Email: info@media4women.com. Del Pacifico Marketing Group. Inc. Joan C. Wright Vice President A World of Marketing & Importing since 1988 11770 Bernardo Plaza Ct. Suite 206 & 208 San Diego, CA 92128 Phone: 858 500 2495 Fax: 585 618 1881 Email: triggersbest@hotmail.com swright@live.com Visiting Angels Sheri Malvestuto Director Senior Homecare by Angels® America’s Choice in Homecare!™ 860 South Johnson Avenue El Cajon, CA 92020 Phone: 619-401-2040 * Fax: 619401-3240 smalvestuto@visitingangels.com www.visitingangels.com

LightBridge Hospice & Palliative Care Jill Mendlen, RN Founder & CEO Your Partner in Caring Healing Touch, Aromatherapy, Supportive Music, Pet Therapy 6155 Cornerstone Court East Suite 220 • San Diego, CA 92121 Phone: 858-458-2992 Hospice.com Fax: 858-458-3655 Email: contact@LightBridge Photography by Lisa K Portraiture that Captures the Soul Lisa K. Miller Photographer 12225 World Trade Dr Suite P San Diego, Ca 92128 Call Today 858 673 3630 www.PhotographybyLisaK.com Sonali Design Studio Sonali Soni Designer/Artist Looking for a Freelance Artist? Logos, brochure design, business identity kits, murals, paintings. 858 354 5365 Sonali@sonalidesignstudio.com Daisy M. Hays Makeup Artist Daisy Martinez Hays Makeup Artist “Let me make your special event beautiful” 805 850 8536 www.daisymhays.com Bernardo Dermatology Medical Group Dr. Ruth Larson, MD Dr. Ruth Larson is the founder of Bernardo Dermatology Medical Group in North San Diego County. It is a premier, comprehensive, seven provider group whose philosophy is to provide the highest quality, most cost-effective dermatologic care with kindness and dignity. 15525 Pomerado Road, Suite A2, Poway, Ca 92064 United States (858) 451-3311 Email: ruthlarsonmd@gmail.com Solana Spanish Professional Spanish - English Instruction Gerda M. Snell Tutoring - Translations - Corporate Training Individual or Group Instruction All Ages and Levels 858-829-4207 gm_snell@yahoo.com www.gerdasnell.com

Colleen Van Horn Geriatric Care Managers who are RN's and Companion Caregivers that specialize in assisting older people maintain their independence with coordination of care at home. www.innovativehc.com 557 E. Alvarado St. Fallbrook, CA 92028 United States (760) 731-1334 colleenvanhorn@sbcglobal.net Marialyn J. Sardo, MD, FACS Board Certified Plastic Surgeon Center for Beauty Excellence and experience in aesthetic plastic surgery. Personal attention, individualized care and natural results. Specializing in Breast augmentation, Breast lift, Breast reduction, Implant revisions, Tummy-tuck, Mommy-makeover, Liposuction, Arm Lift, Face/Neck Lift, Mini facelift, Eyelid surgery, Botox, Dysport, Juvederm, Sculptra, Artefill, Chemical peels, Skin care. Scripps/Ximed Bldg on Campus Scripps Memorial Hospital 9850 Genesee Avenue, Suite 840 La Jolla, CA 92037 858-452-6226 866-DR SARDO www.centerforbeauty.com Louisa Magoon The Grand Tea Room Full service tea room and gift shop. We serve a traditional afternoon tea menu with tea sandwiches, scones, savories, desserts and fresh fruit and an extended menu of soups and salads and a la carte items. Please visit our website at www. thegrandtearoom.com for pictures of the tea room and our full menu. Please visit our gift shop for a nice selection of beautiful gifts 145 W. Grand Avenue Escondido, CA 92025 (760) 233-9500 louisam@thegrandtearoom.com Lori Miller - Broker/Owner, San Diego real estate expert First Choice Properties, Inc. 6112-A Regents Road San Diego, CA 92122 619-987-9070 HOST, Real Radio Now, Mondays 1-2 PM AM 1700 ESPN Radio lorimillerhomes@gmail.com www.everyhomeuc.com www.realradionow.com


San Diego Woman Magazine’s Women in Business

Labbe Health Center Dr. Joni Labbe DC, CCN, DCCN, FCCN Specializing in the nutritional and neurological needs of women with Hashimoto's disease and hypothyroidism. Author of: " Is Mid-Life Mooching your Mojo". 5440 Morehouse Dr. suite 2600 (858)483-4770 office www.thyroid-dr.com service@drlabbe.com

The Lawton Group Shannon Erdell, President Connect Great People with Great Companies! 4747 Viewridge Suite 210 San Diego, CA 92123 (858) 569-6260 www.lawtongrp.com shannon@lawtongrp.com

Logo Product Experts and CorporateClientGifts.com Chris Elliott chris@lpeusa.com (760) 931-2633 1042 N. El Camino Real #B371 Encinitas, CA 92024 Logo Product Experts areas of expertise include printed, engraved and embroidered gifts, give-aways and apparel that help organizations project their brand in an unforgettable and positive way. LPE serves both national and local businesses, schools and universities, municipalities and non-profit organizations with a creative and resourceful approach to defining and meeting the desired outcomes of marketing programs through the use of branded products.

Carol Kaplan Everything Creative Designs LLC Home Staging and Interior Redesign at all levels 8821 Production Ave. San Diego 92121 carol@everythingcreativedesigns.com Www.everythingcreativedesigns.com Tel: 619-972-8442

Glenda Batzer Freelance Writer Member of the National Writers Union Lifestyle Articles, Restaurant Reviews, Travel Reviews, Children’s Stories, and Poetry www.glendabatzer.com email: gmbatzer@gmail.com SoCal Food Tours LLCBarbara Trenchi An Insider's Coronado Culinary & History Walking Tour! 114 C Ave, #174Coronado, CA 92118 619-723-4259 "mailto:socalfoodtour@gmail.com" socalfoodtour@gmail.com "http://www.socalfoodtours.com" www.socalfoodtours.com

San Diego

Woman

Niederfrank's Ice Creams, Inc. Patti Finnegan & Mary Ellen Faught, Owners We've been making the best 100% Natural ice cream for over 65 years. We make our ice cream using the most antique, inefficient, outdated process in the world. We think you will agree, the results are delicious.

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Do you KNoodleIt?

Photo by Lisa K. Miller

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They say necessity is the mother of invention. Well it took a busy mother, and sales executive, to create a tool to help make life easier for other mothers. Shannon Matwiyoff was working for a major fortune 100 company and had been for close to twenty years. She and her husband, a Navy physician, were raising two small children, while she worked 60-80 hours a week. It was actually, her mother-in-law whom she credits with the original spark of an idea which would, a few years later, become KNoodleIt. “We had given my mother-in-law a digital picture frame and after frequent visits to her home I noticed that it was nowhere to be found. When I questioned her about it, she simply admitted that she couldn’t figure out how to use it. I quickly explained it to her and it dawned on me that there was no place you could go to find out the answers to even simple technical questions” Shannon thought about this for a bit. “I started noodling it over in my head trying to come up with a way to provide these types of services to consumers.” This was where the name for her new business venture was born. “I talked it over with my husband who suggested I sit down and write up a business plan.” With an MBA from Pepperdine, Shannon knew that this was the next logical step in making her idea into a reality. “I don’t think my husband realized how serious I was, until I gave notice from my job to my employer, and moved ahead and proceeded with my KNoodleIt business plan.” With a small nest egg and the desire to spend more time with her two small children, Cassidy and Nicholas, Shannon decided to jump in

with both feet and take control of her life. It wasn’t long before she realized that one very important element was missing. “I had created an IT based business with absolutely no IT experience.” She was sharing her idea with a close friend when she reminded Shannon that her significant other was an expert in this field. Shannon shared her idea with him and he immediately decided to join forces with her. After much market research, Shannon launched KNoodleIt.com in September of 2012. KNoodleIt is a website that helps members easily find the right person for the right job, narrowing their service providers to those who meet quality measures, provide excellent service, and offer members discounts. As Shannon explained, “Trying to find a qualified service professional on the Internet is like trying to drink from a fire hose. There are just too many options out there.” Before KNoodleIt there was no easy way to accomplish this task. “A lot of people have been relying on reviews found online, but what we have found is that sometimes the service provider with over 30 years of experience and hundreds of satisfied customers, may have a clientele that does not go on the Internet to rate businesses, so reviews may not accurately reflect the quality of work the business performs. However, many satisfied consumers will not take the time to post positive reviews, thus businesses who provide high quality services and products, with years of experience and many satisfied customers, may not have reviews that accurately reflect their success. If that same business receives one bad review, it could ends up with a low rating, showing the inequality in reviews. On the other hand, while the a brand new business, without a positive track record, can simply talk friends and relatives into providing positive reviews, even though they may not have even used their services, and have only been in business a short time.” There are several reasons why KNoodleIt is a better alternative to web-directories or review-based sites. The first is the creator. Not only is she an intelligent and beautiful businesswoman, but she deeply cares about protecting individuals from unscrupulous service providers. What makes KNoodleIt stand out from other online resources, is that they are passionate about delivering an exceptional member experience. They do not simply refer members to a list of providers who’ve paid to be part of this service. They carefully choose providers who meet or exceed industry standards of excellence. “We do not allow providers to pay to join our network. We personally visit each vendor and make certain that their licensure, certifications, training, accreditation, warranties, awards, organization ratings and more are in place.” Since providers can’t pay to be listed, there is no bias as to which providers are allowed within the KNoodleIt network; they must be invited and screened. With over 40 service categories in four main areas: Home, Event/Special Occasion, Leisure and Business/Technology, you can be certain to find the experts you need, when you need them. All of this is for a yearly membership fee of just $50.00. Not only is this a bargain for the service provided, but if for some reason you do not save at least the cost of membership in discounts, they will refund your money. KNoodleIt currently operates in Southern California and the Southeast, with plans to expand to other large cities in the coming years. If you are interested in obtaining top quality, screened service providers saving you time and money, visit: www.KNoodleIt.com and join today. It will be the best $50 you ever spent.


+ SAN DIEGO HEALTHCARE PROFILES

To Honor the Passage

Hospice is so much more than what you might think. Hospice is about embracing life, making sure your loved one and your family are comfortable, comforted, and connected during the end-of-life journey.

H

Respect and Dignity

LightBridge hospice & paLLiative care serves all of

“My mother’s first hospice service didn’t communicate well,” relates Karen Ladner. “Whenever we called with a question, we had to wait for a return call. We never

Scan this tag for more information at the website.

Get the free mobile app at

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858-458-2992 LightBridgeHospice.com

LightBridge staff is available at 858-458-2992 seven days a week to help and answer your questions.

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had a specific person working with us.” Many families don’t know they can change hospice providers. When Karen learned this from Peg, she also learned about LightBridge. Her family quickly made the switch. “LightBridge gave us a sense of security that everyone was there for us, but we also had a specific point of contact, someone who was aware of everything happening along my mother’s journey,” says Karen. “My mother appreciated the respect she was shown right up to her passing, so when my father reached a point where he wanted hospice care, too, there was no hesitation in turning to LightBridge. “Every end-of-life journey is unique,” Karen adds, “and LightBridge helped us accept and embrace that. For the team at LightBridge, this is not a job; it’s a calling.”

San Diego County. LightBridge offers patients and families a holistic approach to pain and symptom management, as well as spiritual, emotional, and psychological support. Hospice services are covered by Medicare, MediCal, and most insurance plans. LightBridge offers a wide range of specialized services, including programs for Veterans and patients with dementia, as well as the Ohr Ami Jewish Hospice program; Healing Touch; aroma, music, and pet therapies; education and support for caregivers; and bereavement care and grief counseling.

Woman

ospice care meant Peg Eddy’s father remained at home, his pancreatic cancer pain controlled, without the needles and IV tubes that would have accompanied a hospital stay. It meant Peg’s family could visit without watching a clock. It meant there was no need for a frantic, futile ambulance transport when it came time to say good-bye. “I don’t see how we could have managed that without hospice,” says Peg. Twenty years later, Peg turned to LightBridge Hospice & Palliative Care to smooth her mother’s end-of-life journey. “From the beginning, LightBridge eased my family’s worries,” shares Peg. “It took just minutes for LightBridge to bring my mother into the program and deliver the medications she needed to make her comfortable.” Peg says LightBridge surrounded her family with compassion and care without ever being intrusive, and it was adept at anticipating the family’s needs and questions and offering thoughtful solutions. “Thanks to LightBridge, we didn’t have to expend our energy worrying about my mother’s medical care. Instead, we focused on being a family, enjoying our time together.”

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8 Tips to Help Stop

Rumination Lauren Feiner, Psy.D.

Do you constantly replay or obsess over negative situations? Known as rumination, it can feel like a broken record. Your mind rehearses the play-by-play of what led to that horrific breakup or missing a deadline at work. Even when everything is going well, we tend to hyperfocus on the one negative thing that happened during the day, like the time our boss criticized us in front of our colleagues. Reflecting on past experiences can be helpful in problem-solving and overcoming dilemmas, but brooding rumination takes this to the next level. It offers few new insights and often serves to intensify our negative feelings. We become narrowly focused on the things that are not going well instead of seeing the larger picture. These ruminative thoughts can keep us up late at night overanalyzing the situation. According to Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, Ph.D., professor at Yale University, research has shown that rumination is associated with a variety of negative consequences, including depression, anxiety, PTSD, substance use, and binge-eating. What can be done to stop ruminating? Here are some tips that may help. 1.Identify the thought or fear. What is your biggest fear? Maybe you are afraid of getting fired or looking foolish in front of others. Journaling can be a great way to clarify the underlying fear. 2.Think about the worst-case scenario. This may sound like an awful suggestion, but we can often handle the worst-case scenario, which takes away the power of the original thought. Ask yourself two questions: ◦ What is the worst thing that can happen? ◦ Can I handle that? 3.Most likely, the answer is yes. Human beings are very resilient. Remember, sometimes our biggest hardships can turn into our biggest growth experiences. For example, I once worked with a client who was devastated after losing his job. He survived it, and as it turned out, this ended up being a blessing in disguise. It allowed him to find a position that fit his interests and lifestyle, leading to a more fulfilling and meaningful career. 4. Let go of what you can’t control. Ask yourself “what can I change, if anything?” If you cannot change the situation, let it go. For things you can change, set up a list of small goals and make the appropriate changes.

5.Look at mistakes as learning opportunities. According to David Burns, Ph.D., assistant professor at Stanford University, and author of Feeling Good, “the quickest way to find success is to fail over and over again.” For example, I was once 30 minutes late for an interview. I did not get the job and became very self-critical of my tardiness. Once I asked myself “what is the lesson I learned?” I quickly calmed down and applied this lesson to future experiences. I now leave my house one hour early for interviews, which has served as a valuable lesson. No need to continue berating myself. In addition, frequently remind yourself how far you’ve come. Every time you make a mistake, you learn something new. 6. Schedule a worry break. Schedule 20 to 30 minutes a day to worry and make the most of it. This allows for a time and place to think about all your biggest insecurities while containing it to a specific period of time. At other times of the day, remind yourself that you will have time to contemplate later. 7.Mindfulness. We spend so much time thinking about past mistakes or worrying about future events, that we spend very little time in the here and now. A good example is every time we find ourselves on “autopilot” while driving a car. The practice of mindfulness is a great way to reduce our “thinking” selves and increase our “sensing” selves in the here and now. For example, ask yourself what you hear, feel, smell, see and taste. This can help ground you in the present moment. Mindfulness is an important skill for enjoying the significant moments in life. Enjoying coffee with a friend can be disrupted if we begin thinking about all the things we need to do that day. When you notice your mind wandering, gently guide it back to the present. 8. Exercise. Go for a walk. A change of scenery can disrupt our thoughts and give us new perspective. 9. Try therapy. If ruminative thoughts are interfering with living the life you want to live, consider reaching out. Counseling is a great way to learn how to use these techniques with the help and guidance of a professional.

Dr. Lauren Feiner is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist in the greater San Diego area. She is a contract Psychologist at UCSD Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) in addition to maintaining a private practice in La Jolla, CA. She was trained in CBT and specializes in working with individuals with depression and anxiety. If you are in the San Diego area and would like additional support in reducing worry or ruminative thoughts, feel free to visit Dr. Feiner’s website and set up an appointment. www.feinertherapy.com


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Bitchin’ & Moaning

By Judith A. Habert

had a chance to try it, I would become a coffee aficionado. I heard it If there is one thing I wish I could change it is my distaste for coffee. was very expensive but it would be worth it if I could finally get over my I must admit I always felt a little jealous. Growing up I never had a distaste for coffee. desire to taste that dark hot mysterious beverage, but as I got older Coffee did hold a special place in my heart. I can remember when I I realized - I should be drinking coffee: Drinking coffee made you an was little my Dad would take me with him to the local diner and order a adult. Coffee was not for kids so I didn’t worry, assuming that as I got older I would develop a taste for the popular fluid. cup. I think it was about 25 cents at the time. As I think back on it my I turned 18, took a sip of the treasured brew, and for the life of me had father had a habit of (when he got near the end of the cup) asking the all I could do to swallow it. Okay, I thought, I probably have to be older waitress if she could top it off for him since it was cold. In those days there was no such thing as endless beverages. So this was his way of and wiser before I’d like it. I turned 19, 20 and then 21, but still I was getting another cup of coffee without having to pay for it. I finally manbewildered as to why, although it smelled good, when I brought my lips to the edge of the cup, I could not bear the thought of actually tipping it aged to take a sip of the precious Starbucks coffee and no…I didn’t like it any better than the homemade variety. forward far enough to taste it. I was out of college and on to my first corporate job when I realized Then one day working at another corporate job, still faking my love of that I had better learn to like coffee, otherwise I would not be able to coffee and participating in the corporate coffee break, I came upon another co-worker who was actually drinking a beverage that wasn’t cofparticipate in the best part of the day in corporate America, the coffee break. The first week on my new job I was too embarrassed to say I fee. It wasn’t even a hot drink, which was a relief since I had previously realized that I didn’t like hot tea either. She was drinking lemonade. didn’t like coffee, since everyone else was indulging. So when coffee Then I started paying more attention and as it turned out, there were break time came around I would go to the cafeteria and order my cup of coffee, which I would hold for a while, bring it to my lips a few times many people in the cafeteria drinking iced beverages. At that point I then dump it in the garbage can as full as it was when I bought it. I realized I had been led astray and made to feel foolish to have hidden suppose some part of me felt that if I didn’t drink coffee I would not be my distaste for coffee, all because of some mislabeled daily corporate event. I thought that it possibly was a conspiracy brought upon corpoallowed to participate in the coffee break and therefore I would have to rate America by some coffee rich nation, or that maybe even Starbucks work straight through the day. Then came this very weird phenomenon, a store dedicated to coffee. How ridiculous? Who would get up early was at the bottom of this. I propose that in order to keep young girls from foolishly pretending to like such a distasteful drink, that we forever to go buy a cup of coffee when you could roll out of bed in the morning refer to that 15 minute break from the daily boring work day, that our and have it waiting for you? Well that was what my parents did, and what I saw in every TV show and movie. Who was I to know that this coffee break would forever be referred to as a beverage break – not The Coffee Break. weird concept called Starbucks would become as popular as it did? So I decided that Starbucks must make the absolute best coffee, and if I

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Always A Bridesmaid…

Never WANTING to be a bride. By Jaime V. Habert

This fact is virtually unfathomable for most people to respect. That’s right. I don’t want to get married, and no, I will not change my mind. To make this clearer; I will not get married in a house, I will not get married to a mouse, I will not get married in a box, I will not get married to a fox, I will not get married here or there, I will not get married anywhere, I do not like the married life, I never want to be a WIFE. Okay, so I may have borrowed a little inspiration from Dr. Seuss with that one, but my sentiment is genuine. I see marriage for what it is… a legal document. It does not solve a couple’s problems, or keep them together. It does not provide safety and security or keep you warm at night. Marriage is a legal term. It is NOT a solution, a happy ending, or a fairytale. I have seen far too many couples challenge what I just said. They get together and follow the societal norms of our time… meet, date, marry. They let the pressure of religion, parents, or convention, take over and they don’t ask themselves, why? Why do you want to get married? I know why I don’t. Marriage is like a mental prison cell. It says that you are now bound to that person “forever”. This sentencing forces people to stay in a relationship far longer than they should. It gives you an excuse to become complacent or to settle for less than you deserve. It also makes cheating that much more desirable. Just like a toddler told not to touch a hot stove, partners often give into temptation because of the simple fact that they’re not allowed to. And so, they place their hand over the burning flame, challenged by the authoritative figure which told them not to. In my opinion, marriage strangles the creative spontaneity of romance and eliminates all courtship. It is ultimately what feeds the flame of infidelity. We can also look at this from a historical standpoint. It wasn’t all that long ago that women were exchanged for cash. In the United States, colonists from England and Europe brought about the custom of a dowry and women became property in a more literal sense. Native Americans and early settlers also engaged in a dowry custom, often exchanging land for ladies. These goods were exchanged in agreement that the women would marry the male suitor. Marriage was more in line with a real estate transaction then a love story. You may say… “Well that was a long time ago- things have changed!” and I will say to you… “No, they really haven’t”. Think about what most women look for in a man these days. Anything come to mind? Money. Maybe not in the millionaire sense but, who wouldn’t admit that a good paying job and nice car do impress? If you saw an equally good looking guy driving a Honda as you did a Bentley, would the Bentley not win out? It’s human nature. Women seek security. Financial security is just one of those aspects, but it is an important one when you are looking for the potential father of your children or a partner for the rest of your life. Also, we can look at what most men value in women… Beauty. We don’t all have to be pageant queens, but I have yet to talk to a man who doesn’t have “Good Looking” or “Fit” on the top of his wife wish list. The simple fact that a woman is given an engagement ring makes true the fact that the custom of a dowry is still alive and well. Each potential wife that I have talked to obsesses over the type of ring that will be suitable for that

all too precious ring finger and that man who she loves finances his life away to make it possible. Let’s face it, these are the core values present in the dowry system. A woman who is easy on the eyes, fit for child birth, and a man who can provide for her while taking her as his pleasantly pretty property. Basically, marriage undermines the strength and intelligence of women. It says that we need someone to make us whole. That we are not able to care for ourselves. That we require a keeper. The idea of feminism was to keep us equal, and yet, we accept a societal norm which makes us lesser than. Marriage places labels on two carefree individuals. It forces women into the role of wife and men into the role of husband. Think about the images that come to mind when I mention those terms. A wife is regarded as a homemaker, child care provider, chef, personal assistant, laundress, chauffeur, nurse, tutor, referee, psychiatrist, and manager. A wife is placed in a dutiful role where she not only cares for kids, but is responsible for much of daily life. A husband is also given the burden of financial responsibility and placed under lock and key. One of the most successful and influential women in history, Oprah Winfrey, drove home this fact in an interview with Shaun Robinson of Access Hollywood. When asked why she never wants to marry Stedman Graham, Oprah replied, “had we married, we would not be together”. Shaun Robinson replied, “Really?! Why?” and Oprah said, “Because, he is a very traditional man and this is a very untraditional relationship. I think it’s acceptable as a relationship, but if I had the title, “wife”, hmm. I think there would be some other expectations of what a wife is and what a wife does. First of all, you got to come home sometimes…”. Oprah was very aware of how a title can cripple a relationship, especially from the point of view of a woman. In another interview for her “O” magazine, Oprah elaborated, “I knew I was not the kind of woman who could get home and make sure dinner was on the table. I do that when I feel like it, and if I don’t feel like it, there’s some Raisin Bran in there, get yourself a banana, and that’s it”. Oprah’s feelings on marriage are my exact sentiment. Women deserve the right to choose… A right to independence. There should NOT even be a preconceived notion that dinner is YOUR JOB. All in all, this is what marriage brings… expectations. Oprah stating that she “wants to WANT” to make dinner for her partner is what I feel gets crushed in married lives. The element of desire is slowly diminished by the title. A desire to be together, not because you have to but because you want to. A desire to give to the other on a completely selfless level. A desire to create a life together that warrants future plans without the requirement. This legal binding of two lives keeps people entangled with one another even when they know they no longer belong together. When you enter into marriage, you begin collecting joint property. Investments, homes, children, pets, cars- they all go into a philosophical lockbox only to be divvied up when the time comes. Even when they feel like they aren’t fulfilled by their partners, couples will stay together “for the kids”. I can tell you that having married parents isn’t as important as having happy ones. Marriage complicates everything, and it makes trusting your gut that much harder.


Take Time to Treat Yourself

The mere mention of pearls instantly brings to mind style icons like Audrey Hepburn, Jackie O and Grace Kelly. A beautiful string of pearls has been a fashion commodity throughout the years. They are not only a classic choice but they also lend an air of sophistication and strength to the wearer. You can also go with simple pearl studs to complement your look. Plus, with a range of colors and shapes, it’s easy to find pearly pieces that suit your personal style.

Diamond Stud Earrings

We all know the phrase “diamonds are a girl’s best friend,” and so far it still rings true. It’s easy to see why diamond earrings are such a classic: Their beauty is long-lasting and versatile, making them perfect for any occasion. What makes diamond studs so essential is their ability to complete any outfit and polish your appearance with elegance.

Pendant Necklace

Necklaces have come in all shapes and sizes over the years - some layered, some long, some bold and some bright. Pendant necklaces stand the test of time and can even compliment other necklaces when layered together. The toughest part about getting yourself a pendant necklace is finding the one that you like best. Take note of colors or patterns in your other jewelry, clothing, and wardrobe and consider how that pendant would work with your daily look.

Bracelet

Another staple of jewelry, bracelets have a history that reaches as far back as ancient times, when they were worn to promote luck. Today, bracelets are still a widely sought after accessory. Tennis bracelets, which are composed of a row of small diamonds, are

Statement Ring

Talk about sensitive subjects. Rings are bought every day, but, how many times they are actually worn often depends on the selection. Rings are one prime example of why a lady should have a say in her jewelry because they must be right in size and fit, making them one of the most intimate pieces to buy. Look for one that stands out from your other jewelry and visualize it as the centerpiece of your outfit. More importantly, try to find a ring you love that no one else would know to buy for you.

Custom Creations

San Diego

Pearls

particularly famous for their versatility - but the options are truly endless when it comes to picking your own personal style. From wide cuffs to special charms, bracelets are an easy-to-wear piece of jewelry that can showcase individuality and style.

For those times when nothing quite catches your eye, there is always the option to have something custom made. These days, you can choose from a range of stones, settings, cuts and colors- and the right jeweler can make whatever your imagination can create, so you never have to settle for a design that isn’t you. The term “custom made” doesn’t necessarily mean expensive, but it certainly means unique. If you haven’t bought yourself jewelry before, it may be because you just haven’t found pieces that really show your individual flair. Be sure to take advantage of your options when it comes to jewelers customizing abilities.

Unicorn Jewelry

Woman

With Valentine’s Day gone, the time for gift-giving is seemingly on hiatus. But what gifts are you giving yourself? Gifts are a great way to show others you care, but it’s also important to remember to take care of yourself. Buying yourself jewelry is a perfect example of this. Whether it’s a classic pair of pearl earrings or a modern style cuff bracelet, seeing jewelry that reflects your personal taste and individual character, and knowing that you had the ability to buy it for yourself is one of the most rewarding gifts of all. People usually think of jewelry as a luxury that should be received as a gift, but perhaps it’s something better left to the person who knows you best - yourself. So where to begin? There are a few must-have items that every woman should enjoy in her collection. We’ve created a list of some staple accessories to pad your jewelry box as well as a quick guide to custom options to make the most of your purchase. You can use this list to help you see through the glitzy haze and find the perfect piece for you.

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed with options or intimidated when you buy something, even if you’re sure at the time. The family owners at Unicorn Jewelry and Watch Boutique in Rancho Bernardo pride themselves on providing every customer with the knowledge they need to make the best choice. And they have created a relaxed atmosphere to make patrons feel welcome instead of pressured. From pearls to diamonds, hoops and studs, any woman can find the right piece to add to her collection without breaking her budget. Unicorn Jewelry’s huge inventory is just one of the things they offer. As a manufacturing jeweler with six on-site artisans, they can offer services that retailers can’t, which means they can practically make anything your imagination creates. Using talent and technology, Unicorn Jewelers can produce your custom piece in-house from something as simple as a drawing. So, no matter what you are looking for, you are sure to find a beautiful piece of jewelry that will be top quality for reasonable prices at Unicorn Jewelry. Be kind to yourself and buy something that helps you look as good as affording your own jewelry feels. Visit Unicorn Jewelry at 16781 Bernardo Center Dr. San Diego, CA 92128 or by checking out their website at www.unicornjewelry.com.

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A guide for family, friends and loved ones in preparing for the effects of the growing elder population …a Public Service from “Those Who Care”

Dispelling Common Myths About Aging Normal aging and the changes associated with it are rarely viewed as positive. We regard aging as a series of negative events that a person must tolerate. Some myths, misconceptions, and negative stereotypes about older people stem from our culture’s values and beliefs. Our youth oriented society values intelligence, strength, and productivity - characteristics rarely attributed to older adults. Many people perceive older adults as senile, sick and making few worthwhile contributions to society.

Older people cannot learn complex new skills, and experience decline in intellectual ability: Older adults are capable of learning new things, but the speed at which they process information is slower. Healthy older adults show no decline, and sometimes show improvement in some cognitive skills, such as wisdom, judgment, creativity, and common sense. Most show a slight and gradual decline in other cognitive skills, such as abstraction, calculation, and verbal comprehension.

This stereotyping has propagated the development of many myths about aging. Here are some common misconceptions about aging and the facts to help dispel them.

Most older people are sick and need help with daily activities: In fact, 80% of older people are healthy enough to carry on their normal lifestyle. About 15% have chronic health conditions that interfere with their daily lives, and another 5% are institutionalized (though this figure is growing when consideration is given to the rise in assisted living facilities throughout the country).

Most older people are senile or demented: Senility is an inaccurate term used to refer to dementing conditions that are always caused by pathologic changes. Most people age 65 and older are not mentally 105 disturbed. Significant, progressive, cognitive impairments are a consequence of disease that affects less than 5% of people age 65 to 74, and about 25% of people older than age 85. Most old people feel miserable and depressed most of the time: Studies of happiness, morale, and life satisfaction reveal that most older people are just as happy as when they were younger. Only about one-third of older people show signs of depression. Older people cannot work as effectively as young people: On the contrary, studies show that older workers produce more consistent output and have less job turnover, fewer accidents, and less absenteeism than younger workers have.

Older people are set in their ways and cannot change: People tend to become more stable in their attitudes as they age, but they adapt to many social changes and changes in lifestyle. In fact, older people may be required to change more frequently than when they were young because of major events in their lives. Aging is normal part of human development. How a person ages depends on life experiences, available support systems, and previous coping skills. Please try to understand what your clients (care recipients) are experiencing as they move through their aging process. Your understanding of their situation will allow you, and your caregivers, to provide service that is significantly more client/ care recipient focused, which is a by-product of the relationship you and your caregiver have built with the client/care recipient.


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Engaging San Diego Since 1981™ Mon-Fri: 10:00AM to 6:00PM • Sat: 10:00AM to 5:00PM 16781 Bernardo Center Dr., San Diego, CA 92128 • (858) 487-6454 • UnicornJewelry.com

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You’ll find incredible pieces for every budget plus:

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Unicorn Jewelry & Watch Boutique in Rancho Bernardo is home to San Diego’s most exclusive collection of fine jewelry, watches and more all under one roof.

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Staycation: A genius solution to traveling with children

By Lisa Matar

Photos Courtesy of the Westgate Hotel

Recently, we had some scheduled time off of work and school and started to plan a much-needed vacation. Bound by two toddlers, our search led us to travel to locations with pleasant beaches by day, fun family activities in the afternoon and ideally, a hotel located in walking distance or short cab ride to all.

First thing was first- Where to stay? Being that we wanted to be close enough to walk about, we decided our staycation should be in Downtown. I searched for the most glamorous hotel offering most outrageous suite San Diego has to offer. My research led me to the Westgate Hotel, right across from Horton Plaza on Broadway. Entering the Westgate Hotel, we were instantly transformed from ordinary locals to privileged visitors. Taking our first steps into the hotel, we felt as though we were stepping into a private castle in Europe. The opulent interior design of the Westgate is one we will never forget. The lobby is filled with sparkling crystal chandeliers and down filled sofas covered in rich upholstery. Precious antiques abound, classic bronze sculptures set the tone and priceless paintings donned the intricately carved walls. The air was filtered with a warm rose fragrance that left me wanting more. Floral arrangements sat on tabletops with dozens of pink roses. We had arrived. The suite where we stayed made our ‘trip’ everything we could have imagined and more. Our palatial suite had 2 ensuite bedrooms with richly appointed marble bathrooms, separated by a plush living room and gorgeous kitchen. Located on the penthouse level, our massive suite had forever views from the 4 balconies across downtown and to Balboa Park. The room itself was the vacation. Once the bellmen delivered our suitcases, we relaxed in our new home for the long weekend. I adjusted the lighting and draperies and called room service to deliver a bottle of champagne and

Woman San Diego

The web search turned up locations to consider. Next job, looking for flights… it occurred to me, we live in paradise. San Diego has everything on our list. Why go through the hassle of traveling with toddlers and spend a fortune on flights when we could have an over the top staycation in our back yard?

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a couple of cold ones… cold milk, that is. The children opened their suitcase filled with toys brought from home and my husband and I were able to soak in the view with our crystal champagne flutes filled with France’s finest. After a short while, Grandma and Grandpa, our favorite babysitters arrived with surprise presents for the children. My husband and I got dolled up and away we went for a night out on the town. Having familiar childcare with is one of the best perks to the staycation. Asking your favorite babysitter or family member to watch the kids in a glamorous suite is no favor. I promise, you will not have difficulty enticing your childcare provider to spend the evening with your children in this suite. Waking up in the morning in our fabulously pressed sheets and heavy duvet, we awoke feeling rested as everyone had slept in their own cozy beds. Wrapped in the thick white robe


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I found in my bathroom, I called up room service and our cart was swiftly delivered with one of the best breakfasts I had ever had. Chef Fabrice Hardel created a menu with so many delectable treats; it was hard to choose what to have. We enjoyed every last bite. Room service is another critical component of the staycation. Who wants to battle mealtime in a restaurant with toddlers? Find a hotel with a worldclass chef to tantalize your taste buds. Relax and enjoy your lunch in the privacy of your suite. Rested and fueled, we were ready to take on our staycation. We took a walk out the lobby and found ourselves in the mood to check out Balboa Park. We called up an Uber cab via smart phone and a black limo arrived in less than 5 minutes. We were on our way to a fun filled day at the Natural History Museum. After our fill of dinosaurs, we carelessly wondered about Balboa Park, breathing in the sights and sounds of this local treasure. It was easy to capture the day in photographs, as we were smiling so beautifully in the bright sunshine San Diego is so famous for. After enjoying our time in Balboa Park, we headed to Little Italy to grab a casual slice of pizza and a walk about. Easy enough, we headed back to our suite a few blocks away to soak up some more Westgate Hotel glamour for the evening. Another wonderful perk to having a staycation is it is an opportunity to share time with friends in a unique setting. I invited some girlfriends to meet me for the Westgate’s famous high tea. The harpist filled the grand lobby with the most elegant sound as we noshed on tiny sandwiches, sweet pastries, scones and seasonal berries. We gabbed the afternoon away while sipping on imported British tea out of perfect white porcelain cups. We lounged around the lobby and enjoyed the friendly company of the staff who were polite and proper, speaking in accents from around Europe. We ended the days, tucking the children into the freshly turned down beds and topped with the most precious little chocolates. The mornings filled with edible treasures that were delivered on silver trays decorated with perfect pink roses. Thanks again to the help from Grandma and Grandpa, the kids had fun splashing around on the sun-drenched rooftop pool in the afternoon while we spent a few relaxing hours at the hotel’s rejuvenating spa. Next time you are considering a vacation, consider a staycation. Skip the expense of the flight and find an exceptionally wonderful hotel to set your scene. Return to your home truly rested. Call some friends to join you for an amazing culinary experience and exceptional resort. You have all of the resources you need on hand to relax without the hassle of traveling with toddlers.


fabulous finds

Lori Leigh Designs Lori Torline, was a former educator who turned her hobby into a new business. While working as a teacher, Lori spent her free time creating jewelry made out of fine silver, glass fusing and wirework. Her husband’s job involved travel and Lori often accompanied him on his trips. She found that one of the major obstacles she faced, while on the road, was finding a way to bring her jewelry along with her. She realized that if she had this problem, she was certain that other women found this a challenge as well. She tried to find a better way to transport her jewelry, but could not find a satisfactory answer to her problem. This was what inspired her to create her own solution to this problem.

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Woman

Lori’s jewelry organizers are unique, functional and beautiful. They are the perfect answer for the woman on the go. Her line includes large organizers for use at home, and smaller versions for travel. Lori’s organizers make your jewelry easily accessible and free from tangles. As their slogan reads, ‘A place for everything and everything stays in place.’ Visit their site at www.lorileighdesigns.com and find your solution.

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Laugh!

By Karyn Buxxman

concern. Consider the following joke: Two elderly ladies meet at the market after not seeing each other for some time. One asked how the other's husband was doing. "Oh! Rodger died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped dead right there in the vegetable patch." "Oh dear, I'm sorry," replied her friend, "What did you do?" "Opened a can of peas instead."

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February was American Heart Month. Heart disease is absolutely no joke. As the #1 killer of women, heart disease presents one of our greatest health challenges, both individually and as a society. What should we be doing about this? Well, for one thing, we should be laughing. For a long time, we’ve known about the impact of a healthy diet, exercise, and staying smoke-free on heart health. Scientists known as psychoneuroimmunologists (which is also the ULTIMATE Scrabble word, just saying!) have been steadily accumulating the evidence that laughter decreases blood pressure, increases circulation and increases the elasticity of the inner lining of the blood vessels. Enjoying humor is a valuable addition to any heart health routine. Laughter is good for us physically, and it’s good for our emotional and mental health, as well. Best of all, humor is readily available, has no side-effects, and is totally fat free. Adding laughter to your day can be the easiest part of your heart health routine: it’s less work than exercise and more fun than eating a high-fiber diet! “If we took what we now know about laughter and bottled it, it would require FDA approval.” ~Dr. Lee Berk One important way we can use humor is to express anxiety. When we’ve been told by our doctors that our heart health isn’t what is should be – or even if you just suspect that maybe things aren’t 100% okay – this stresses us out. The point in time where you are worrying about your heart health is NOT the point in time when you want to be increasing your stress intake! If anything, you want to reduce stress levels. Laughter is a great way to bring stress levels down. Sometimes we find ourselves joking about the very things that are causing us worry and

There are several ways this joke can be read or interpreted, including as an expression of someone’s fear that they could actually die from this heart condition and that no one would miss them. There’s a conversation stopper for you. There are a lot of cultural rules and social habits working together to keep many of us from comfortably expressing our fears directly – especially intensely personal fears. Everyone has their own boundaries, and these boundaries are often defined by the social group we belong to. In your social circle, it might be okay to joke about your inexplicable fear of lawn flamingos; expressing anxiety about our limited lifespan often is not. That’s because we’re all inescapably mortal, but most of us can control our exposure to lawn flamingos if we so wish. Let the Arrhythmia Move You Humor gives us a way to say what we’re feeling – but with some emotional distance. The joke might lead to a deeper conversation; it might just result in laughter; it may provoke an argument. If the person we tell the joke to reacts badly to our humor, chances are that this is not the right person to get into a deeper, more personal conversation with. We can use jokes as a way to test the waters. Trying to keep your emotions bottled up – never expressing them – is an inherently stressful condition. Again, this is not great for your heart health. Humor can be the safety valve: joking about your feelings is a socially acceptable way to vent. Even listening to and appreciating someone else’s humor will help bring your stress levels down. We all have those days when it seems like you can actually feel your blood pressure rising point by point. Those are the days you want to make a point of watching your favorite comedy or calling your funniest friend. If you’re going to do just one thing to improve your heart health this month, you should definitely see your doctor & follow their recommendations. (Yes, that’s actually two things. I’m a humor expert, not a mathematician!) But if you’re already doing that, make today the day you add regular laughter to your heart health routine. You’ll have lots of fun, you’ll feel great, and you’ll actually be doing your heart lots of good. Karyn Buxman, RN, MSN is a neurohumorist, author, and past president of the Association for Applied & Therapeutic Humor. When she’s not on the road speaking to business leaders, healthcare professionals, and patients’ groups, you can find her on the beach near La Jolla having more fun than one would believe possible. Can’t find her there? You can connect with Karyn on her website, www.karynbuxman.com or on Twitter at @KarynBuxman


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San Diego Woman 2014 Susan Taylor  

San Diego Woman celebrates its 7th Anniversary with cover girl Susan Taylor

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