Holly Carney Issue

Page 1

Woman San Diego


July/August 2008

Holly Carney A Labor of Love

Surprising Wines of South Africa

Women of Distinction Special Edition

Slightly Delusional Basics of Internet Marketing Celebrating Women

Dear Readers, Welcome to our summer issue of San Diego Woman. Thanks to all of our readers for the incredible responses we received for our May/June issue. We couldn't keep copies on the shelves. Everyone loved the classic Marilyn picture and all of the wonderful stories that our writers shared. We recently received some exciting news: The Women’s Regional Publications of America awarded San Diego Woman with two Gold awards during their annual conference last month. We received the “Best New Magazine” and “Best Redesign of a Magazine.” Those of us at San Diego Woman are thankful for this great honor. We were so excited when we were informed of these awards, and then we received some more incredible news! Our Photographer, Lisa K Miller, won the first place award in the Black and White Portrait category at this year’s San Diego County Fair. Way to go Lisa! This is our commemorative issue to Women of Distinction in San Diego. Our readers have voiced interest in learning how woman manage to do it all and come out on top. Many of our ladies have faced some amazing odds along the road to success. Several of our "Women of Distinction," even managed to make the San Diego Business Journal’s list of the top 50 most successful female business owners. This is an amazing feat when you consider most of these women are also juggling children and managing to have a life. For those of you out there with artistic aspirations, take a moment to read Marketing Guru Rob Weinberg’s article on how to improve your writing. In the “The Joy of Artist’s Residence,” you can learn how to hone your art while being surrounded by our country’s natural beauty. Don’t skip our special tribute to George Carlin. Thanks for all the years of laughter you gave us George, you will surely be missed. And let’s not forget Tim Russert, another legend in our country and one who was taken from us way too soon.


With summer comes those days of laying on the chaise lounge with your favorite magazine in hand. We only hope that our magazine will be among your favorite reading material while you enjoy our wonderful summer weather. Thanks once again to all of our loyal readers and all of our brand new subscribers. We enjoy every moment of putting this magazine together for our readers and having the opportunity to hear back from all of you. Keep those letters and comments coming, it truly makes our day!


Judith A. Habert


Subscription Information

Annual subscriptions available on request Please send name, mailing address and check for $20 payable to San Diego Woman.

Cover : Holly Carney Photographer: Lisa K. Miller

San Diego Woman 254 E Grand Avenue, Suite 201 Escondido, CA 92025 Disclaimer: Products, services, websites or informational packets mentioned within our pages are in no way an endorsement by San Diego Woman, but are provided to our readers for informational purposes only. Privacy Advisory: Personal information provided by our readers will be used solely for the purposes of providing requested information and will not be shared.

July/August 2008

Graphics/Magazine Layout: Sonali Soni www.sonalidesignstudio.com

Inside After the Storm... 8 Surviving the mortgage crisis.

July/August 2008

Celebrating Women... 9 Learn to put yourself at the top of the list. The Man/Grill Thing... 10 Learn about the connection between men and their barbeque grills. Holly Carney…A Labor of Love... 14 Read about one woman’s dedication to teens. George Carlin Remembered... 20 A farewell to the man of many words. How to Write Well... 21 Learn the secrets to better express yourself. Slightly Delusional... 22 Can we really think away the pounds? The Joy of Artist Residencies...24 Hone your art while enjoying the beauty of nature. Hollywood Connection... 32 The Stars visit San Diego.

San Diego


Speaking of Women’s Health...33 A day dedicated to women’s health. Glorious Summer... 38 Learn to transform yourself to a place of joy. Women of Distinction...Special Edition...40 Read about some of San Diego’s most successful women.


The Quick Lift...50 A quick solution for facial rejuvenation.

In every Issue "Foods From Around the World"...13 Chicken Tikka Masala, is often the first dish many try when exploring Indian food. Bitchin & Moaning... 26 Remembering the joy of summertime. He Said/She Said... 30 The Battle of the Sexes hits San Diego Woman Traveling with Teens... 28 How to make the most of your Hawaiian vacation. The Wine Connoisseur...34 Putting some bling in your summer wine. Business Matters….Appreciative Inquiry...37 A pat on the back goes a long way. July & August Calendar... 48 Plan ahead for all of the great events of summer.

July/August 2008

Meet Team

Behind the Pages


Judith A. Habert Publisher/Editor-in-Chief

Sonali Soni

Publisher/Editor-in-Chief editor@sandiegowoman.com

4 Sonali Soni

Creative Director


San Diego

Judith A. Habert


Creative Director

Laurie M. Dyson

Advertising Director advertisingdirector@sandiegowoman.com Graphics/Magazine Layout: Sonali Soni www.sonalidesignstudio.com

July/August 2008

Laurie M. Dyson Advertising Director

Robert Tussey Copy Editing

Lisa K. Miller Photographer

Woman San Diego

www.sandiegowoman.com 254 E Grand Avenue, Suite 201 Escondido, CA 92025 Phone: 760.738.8700 Fax: 760.738.8866

Jack Doxey Robert Tussey

Robert Tussey has been a published writer for over thirty years and has been providing editing services for the past twenty-five. As a musician he has written scores of songs. His life has revolved around his music and writing, often melding the two into articles and interviews.

Todd Lafferty Todd resides in the bay area town of Pleasanton with Charlie, his 5 year old flat coated retriever. He works in sales for a tech start-up company. Besides his love of poetry he is an avid golfer and sports fanatic.

Jack Doxey formed Doxey & Associates Inc in 1991. It is a San Diego based management and consultant company dedicated to helping companies grow and change. It has a combined experience of over sixty years in quality tools, process management, organizational change and instructional design. In February of 2004, Jack joined ranks with Dr. Kathleen Jensen and Dr. Karla Jensen and formed The Doxey & Jensen Group. Prior to owning his own company, Jack was the Training Manager in the Quality Assurance department of the Hewlett Packard Company.

Lauren Narasky

Lauren just obtained her Bachelor's degree in Literatures in English with a minor in History at the University of California, San Diego. She looks forward to entering the publishing world in San Diego. When not writing or reading, she also enjoys ballroom dancing, exploring San Diego, and sipping a glass of wine from her hometown of Napa, California.


I n ter n s


Lisa K Miller

Photography by Lisa K Lisa is the owner of Photography by Lisa K, a custom portrait studio located in Rancho Penasquitos, specializing in the highest quality portraiture. As the mother of twins, Lisa shines at capturing moments in pregnancy and early life. She shares her talents with many local charities by volunteering her photographic services.

Deborah D. Lazear

Author and teacher of wine studies for over 15 years, Deborah’s background and her Certified Specialist of Wine designation, makes her more than just a “foodie” who loves wine! Having taught wine appreciation, wine and food pairing, and written curriculum for San Diego State U. Business of Wine certificate program, she is no stranger to piquing people’s interest in exploring wine.

Karen Kripalani Ashlee Ryan

Saundra Pelletier

Saundra is the author of “Saddle Up Your Own White Horse: 5 Principles Every Woman Needs to Know”, a keynote speaker and success coach. For more information, visit www. saundrapelletier.com.

Mary Berney

Mary is a certified life & career coach in San Diego for more information contact Mary at www.lifequestcoaching.org

Selena Parker

Selena is host and producer of the award winning show Selena's Showcase. Her background in acting includes appearances in TV and films. She has written several columns and has taught classes on fashion and Acting.

Anna M. Smith

Anna is a Registered Financial Consultant with Pacific Capital Private Client Services.

Paula Margulies

Paula is a writer and owner of Paula Margulies Communications, a public relations firm offering book promotion and publicity for authors and artists. Paula has received numerous awards for her short stories and her two novels, Coyote Heart and Favorite Daughter. Visit www.paulamargulies.com.

July/August 2008

Ashlee just graduated from the University of California, San Diego. In addition to enjoying writing, she is a self-proclaimed grammar nerd who loves editing, not only her work, but also that of others. She also works for The I AM Foundation, a nonprofit that gifts books to low income families, and is a member of Chi Omega sorority. Ashlee hopes to pursue a career in either writing or one in the nonprofit sector.

San Diego

Rob is president of The MarketBuilding Team, has written two books on marketing, and authors a free marketing advice column called Ask Mr. Marketing. You can subscribe to his free marketing newsletter at www.marketbuilding.com.


Rob Weinberg

Karen Kripalani’s adventures as a travel writer and photographer have taken her all around the globe, from galloping camelback through the desert to the pyramids of Egypt, to living deep in the rainforests of Borneo with a tribe of headhunters. She is a national television spokesperson and representative for Canon Cameras and has done work for National Geographic’s TV show “Taboo.” For more info visit www.KarenKripalani.com


Letters Editor to the

Your magazine arrived in the mail today. It is gorgeous! If it weren't for my age, I'd drop everything and move out to San Diego. I feel that you are capturing the very feel of the city and how it relates to women. Each page is a delight! Do keep that magazine coming! Caroline from New York

I just got the magazine......and I love it! It is beautifully put together and you can tell that there was a lot of care and concern that went into every detail. The cover, fonts, colors, layout, etc. I think the cover is wonderful. Classy, sophisticated, classic beauty. I think it will fly off of the shelves because of the cover. You all should be very proud of the finished product that you have put out. George from San Diego I can’t tell you how much I look forward to reading your magazine. Each issue is better than the last. I can’t wait to see the next one. Keep up the good work! Kelly from Del Mar


What a refreshing change your magazine is from other women’s publications. It is so nice to read a magazine that provides intelligent articles of substance. I can’t read another women’s magazine about picking out the perfect makeup or what shoes to wear with what outfit. Women are so much more than that, and your magazine proves that. Please don’t change. Leigh Anne from Poway I think your new mag is much classier than the old one. Loved the article on the girl who began her own exercise program involving the baby strollers. Fantastic. I was so impressed with the choice of articles each one of great interest, and well written..brava brava!. Anne from New York I admit it, I read every issue of the magazine that my wife brings home. Although some of the articles are not about topics that I am familiar with, I do find that your magazine provides some insight into how women think. It is truly an education. Ron from Sabre Springs I loved the interview with Douglas Kirkland. What an amazing man…and his photographs are incredible. Thanks for sharing a bit of history with your readers. Linda from San Marcos Congratulations! I love the new magazine. I have been reading your magazine since it originated, but I am so impressed with the new look. Your content has always been great. I only wish it came out monthly. Lori from Rancho Bernardo

July/August 2008

Your interview with Douglas Kirkland was terrific. It is so hard to imagine being able to photograph such icons. As an amateur photographer, I enjoyed reading about a photographer who has accomplished so much. He seems like such a nice guy too. Jenni from Solana Beach My favorite part of your magazine is your “Women of Distinction” section. It helps to see how other women have made a success of their lives. It is inspiring! Connie from San Diego I love the recipe, I made it at home and it was so good. I would love to see more recipes. Maybe readers could submit their favorites each month? Thanks. Josephine from Ramona “Traveling with Teens” gave me some great ideas for our family trip this summer. If it goes well I will write and tell you. Even if it doesn’t I will let you know. Traveling with my two teenagers and my one stepson has been challenging. I appreciate any help I can get. Marie from Escondido My favorite article this month was “Memories of Dad,” it brought a tear to my eye and reminded me of my own Dad. Sometimes when things get really hectic we don’t have time to remember those who are gone. This article made me remember. Many thanks. Barbara from Carlsbad Wonderful, Wonderful, Wonderful…what more can I say Patty from Encinitas

San Diego

San Diego Woman is now an award winning publication, having been presented with first place in two categories at the Women’s Regional Publications of America’s annual conference held in Louisville, Kentucky in June. Women’s Regional publications is a nationwide organization representing women’s magazines throughout the country. The awards were presented to San Diego Woman in two categories. We won gold awards for Publication Redesign, for which we give accolades to our incredible Creative Director Sonali Soni. The second gold award was for New Publication Launch to which we thank all of those who made our magazine a reality, including all of our writers, photographers and most importantly our readers. Thanks to everyone!


San Diego Woman Goes Gold!


July/August 2008

After The Storm


By Anna Smith

When the first headlines about adjustable rate mortgage resets started appearing in 2005, we had to “wait” for the storm; now we’re waiting for the storm to pass. And pass it will, as the good book says. We still have 1+ trillion dollars worth of adjustable loans resetting and a lot of loans yet to wash out of the system that shouldn’t have been written in the first place. The House and Senate will or won’t succeed with new mortgage reform legislation; the President will or won’t veto it; the lenders will or won’t cooperate with writing off mortgage debt that borrowers can’t pay; consumers, homeowners, and tax payers will or won’t benefit from all the new rules, laws and disclosures. Somehow, time will heal this wound as time has a tendency to do. Hundreds of mortgage bank implosions and catastrophic losses at those banks which are still standing have forced the loan decision pendulum to swing back to the previous industry standards of proving and documenting jobs, income, credit usage and savings of the borrower. Unfortunately, pendulums sometimes swing too far, and this one has, causing loan declines for deserving borrowers who are caught off guard because they’re not sub-prime. Bottom line: Today’s new breed of homebuyer can ‘afford’ to buy what they’re buying, and their increase in number will return stability to the housing market. So how do we help that deserving borrower? One of the shining stars of the turnaround will be provided by the Federal Housing Administration. As a result of the Economic Stimulus Act of 2008, which became law in February, “bank owned” for sale signs have come down often with the help of an FHA loan. “FHA loans are being used to purchase about 50% of my bank owned properties”, says Karen Wheeler, an expert on Real Estate Owned (REO) properties and Agent with Coldwell Banker in Del Mar. Some highlights to the program: FHA offers the only 3% loan on the market; sellers can contribute up to 6% of the purchase price to make the deal happen; temporary loan amount limits (expected to become permanent) are almost $700,000 in San Diego County; gift funds from a family member are allowed; family co-signers who aren’t going to live in the property can help borrowers qualify in some cases. Before you say, “Wait a minute – are these loans going to go bad, too?” – rest assured, borrowers have to establish income with W2’s tax returns, have decent credit history, and contribute at least 3% of their own funds. FHA loans also require mortgage insurance, which is tax July/August 2008

deductible for some borrowers through 2010, in addition to their regular mortgage interest tax deductions. Bottom line: Uncle Sam wants to keep the American dream of home ownership alive and well and they’re proving it with the new FHA loans. Between the availability of these loans, the increased loan amounts, and great buys in the marketplace, it is time to help this turnaround along and spread the good word to everyone you know who is renting. Anna M. Smith is a Registered Financial Consultant with Pacific Capital Private Client Services.

Celebrating Women Women are the complex enigmas we wish men could be. Our ability to use emotional intelligence is superior to any other learned skill in our society. However, society has tricked too many of us into believing there is nobility in putting ourselves second. We have been taught that our kids should come first, that our husbands and their careers should have precedence over our own dreams, and that being a pleaser is the preferred behavior for a woman. If we would embrace the idea of putting ourselves first, we could realize that this is the best way to give more quality back to the people and passions we most care about.

By Saundra Pelletier

assertiveness, arrogance and confidence, patience and immediate gratification. Yes, we can. The part of the brain that controls memory and emotion has eleven percent more neurons in women than in men, indicating that "women's intuition" is real. Women can sense when someone else is upset. We can read a room and know what we're up against. We understand when to adjust our style and exert positive pressure to get a better outcome. We also understand loyalty and the importance of helping people become emotionally invested in our endeavors as we can be both an effective team member and a leader at the same time.

San Diego

Women possess two unique gifts: intuition It's time and multitasking. If for the women we utilize these exof the world to traordinary abilities unite to rediwhile focusing on rect our efforts our core values and toward putting our long-term goals, ourselves first we can exceed even so that we may our own expectahave more to tions. give back to Certainly women ourselves and who have children others. Instead would like the label of focusing on of "great mother," but how far we still in motherhood, we have to go to have nowhere to go achieve equality, but down in the eyes we can simply of society. Women step into our are expected to rightful places be good mothers. as leaders in our Instead of striving for relationships, society's approval, our careers, and think about what our world. We you would like your should live our children to say about you in an interview and what examples daily lives with the knowledge that we are building not only you have given them to follow. our own runways but a platform for those who will follow us. Women's superior abilities can easily translate to success in business. According to the Center for Women's Business We are here to make a difference, and though we may feel Research, more than 10 million women own and lead busilike we are advancing inch by inch, those inches are leadnesses today and the number of majority-women-owned ing to miles of progress. We can inspire other women to firms continues to grow at two times the rate of all other embrace their own individual and unique power so they will businesses. And the Bureau of Labor Statistics indicates that not feel invisible but instead invincible. So celebrate yourself, women represent about fifty percent of the national workladies. You are powerful and magnificent creatures! force. It is our time to stand and be counted not only in the work world but also in our families, our communities, and our Saundra Pelletier is the author of “Saddle Up Your Own government. White Horse: 5 Principles Every Woman Needs to Know�, a Can we do it? When comparing women and men, women keynote speaker and success coach. For more information, are better able to simultaneously manage several critical visit www.saundrapelletier.com. projects and deliver exceptional results on all of them. We understand the delicate balance between charm and July/August 2008



The Man/Grill Thing By Robert Tussey


By the time this issue hits the stands we will be in full thrall of summer. Ahh the blessed season of sun, family, beach, and the male mainstay of the hot August afternoon – The Bar-B-Que. I had (gingerly) packed away my spatula and tongs in their velvet-lined box last October with a heavy sigh and dampened eyes anticipating their June reopening. It’s somewhat like going to your high school reunion and seeing your first love after many years; the anticipation is so much more fun than the event. Now, grant you, this IS California: We cook outdoors year round and are proud of it! What with covered patios and gas grills it is unconscionable not to have burgers and dogs in January. I cook the Thanksgiving turkey on the grill: Three and a half hours of smoke filled bliss while the bird makes its way from the prep table to the dinner table. Quite a journey. But I digress. For years I was a died in the wool charcoal man. What, me wimp out and turn on the propane? Not a chance. I was a traditionalist. Squeeze the can of Kingsford, light a match, and watch the neighbors cringe. I could do fire. As the coals settled into their job, I proceeded with mine: Chicken, corn on the cob, an unpeeled onion (first on and last off the grill), a sauce pan with my own patented concoction… We were ready to rock. I was in the zone, reveling in that male rite of cooking for the flock. I could hear Tim Allen grunting in the background.

It was a daunting task to pick out the right grill to make the transition from generations of traditional fire eaters to the domain of stainless steel. How many burners? Do I want a separate burner on the side? The list of options boggles the deflated ego of acquiescence. I had to make up my mind and jump back in with both feet to prove myself worthy of my position as chef extraordinaire! Then I saw it. Shiny metal. Huge wheels. A lid that took two hands to open. It was massive and I fell in love. I genuflected and paid the young man who asked that fateful question; “Do you want us to assemble it?” I was bruised enough from the curly-cued smoke and a chanting crowd, how could I let them do it (grunt grunt). Men assemble things. We pride ourselves in having parts left over. It was our mission. Then I turned to see in my wife’s eyes what I had seen untold times before: The look! I sheepishly turned to the part time summer hire and said, ‘Yup. You do it.’ On the day it arrived I was ready with a bottle of soda water (champagne would’ve overstated the occasion) to christen my new, shiny, way-too-big edifice of culinary consumption. The neighbors reverently ooh’d and ahh’d as they witnessed my transformation to twentyfirst century outdoor cooking. I was humbled. Two young energetic men wheeled it to its resting place and smiled as I wiped a tear from my face. “Fire it up!” they said in a puff of diesel smoke as their truck rumbled down the road. Our first meal was a bit tenuous, what with my learning curve being steeper than the probability I would have read the instructions first. I announced the ‘blackened’ chicken and ‘blackened’ corn on the cob and the ashes of what was left of the onion. No one lifted their arms and there were a few crinkled noses. And, again, THE LOOK. The pizza arrived a half hour later and I curled up with my new book – Welcome to Your New Super-Duper Over-TheTop Stainless Steel Grill. Again, I was humbled.

Then it happened. With friends and family gathered to witness the master chef duel with the elements to create another feast… the fire in my aged Weber (alas) did not happen. I had done everything right: charcoal, lighter fluid, the eight inch match, and all I got was curly-cued smoke and no flame. My arms hung weighted at my side, spatula dangling towards mother earth, and a hushed sigh from the crowd. This was more than just a simple failure to ignite; this was – well, let’s say it was an attack on all that is man. We are the hunter-gatherers, the beast slayers, the fire-starters, and the progeny of kings! I turned to the crowd and the silence was broken by one low, chanted word: Pro-pane! July/August 2008

Subscribe Today! www.sandiegowoman.com

Woman San Diego

254 E Grand Avenue, Suite 201 Escondido, CA 92025 Phone: 760.738.8700 Fax: 760.738.8866

Name: ________________________________________________________ Address: ______________________________________________________

n a m



City: ________________________ State: ___________Zip:______________

go Die

Email: ________________________________________________________

$20.00 for one year $38.00 for two years ood erst

d isun



o Fam


on izati rgan ’s O n e om e to W plac uide rket Ma ve G e ti v i ti n eti Defi mp at! The a Co Gre g in king n i o d o L n d Bra t an i Ligh cch king sala Pac h Bu t i W king Coo

w iew terv e In lusiv

c n Ex

rld Wo

oto s Ph

Two-Year Subscription Payment Enclosed

Bill Me Later

Subscribe Today! www.sandiegowoman.com

Woman San Diego

254 E Grand Avenue, Suite 201 Escondido, CA 92025 Phone: 760.738.8700 Fax: 760.738.8866

Name: ________________________________________________________ Address: ______________________________________________________



m o W D San

ing om Bec sseur o t i nno rets Sec ine Co s ine W a gW isin Africa r p Sur outh of S t n , no g ials wome c a etin r F o f ark t M e t jus r e mo tern any f In tion so c i tinc s s i a D B f no me Wo

City: ________________________ State: ___________Zip:______________ Email: ________________________________________________________

$20.00 for one year $38.00 for two years One-Year Subscription Two-Year Subscription Payment Enclosed

Bill Me Later

July/August 2008

San Diego



One-Year Subscription




r Do

he grap


ved , Lo

yn aril

M but

Kir glas


Complete our Reader Survey and mail to:

Woman San Diego 254 E Grand Avenue, Suite 201 Escondido, California 92025

Or log on to our website at www.sandiegowoman.com and click on the Reader Survey tab. Name ________________________________ Email_______________________________________ Address __________________________________________________________________________ 1.Where did you pick up a copy of San Diego Woman?_______________________________________


2. Have you visited our website www.sandiegowoman.com ?________________________________ 3. What is your favorite article in this issue?__________________________Why?________________ 4. Would you like your business to receive bulk copies?______________________________________ 5. Are there any particular topics you would like to see covered?_______________________________ 6. Would you like to nominate someone to be featured in an upcoming issue?____________________ Name & Contact Information _________________________________________________________ 7. Do you work?_____________ Part-time_________________ Full-time_______________________ 8. Type of Work?_____________________________________________________________________ 9. Are you married?_____________Single_____________Separated____________Divorced________ 10. Do you have children?_____________ Ages___________________________________________

July/August 2008

Real Women - True Stories Twelve women from 56 – 84 telling the tales your mother never told you. A PERFORMANCE YOU’LL NEVER FORGET

"Foods from around the world"

Sunday September 7, 2008

15498 Espola Road Poway

Tickets $50 : First rows w/VIP reception At Casa de las Campanas $20 orchestra $15 balcony

Benefiting the programs and services of Rancho Bernardo Joslyn Senior Center Poway Senior Center Jewish Family Service North Inland Senior Center For more information and to purchase tickets contact Arlene Cawthorne at 858.487.9324 ext 4. or rbjoslyn@att.net . Pay on-line at www.freewebs.com/september7/

Chicken Tikka Masala This classic dish is often the first dish many try when exploring Indian food. MASALA MARINADE * 1 cup plain yogurt * 3 garlic cloves, minced * 11/2 tablespoon finely grated fresh ginger * 1 1/2 teaspoons ground cumin * 1 1/2 teaspoons ground coriander * 1/4 teaspoon ground cardamom * 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper * 1/4 teaspoon ground turmeric * Salt and freshly ground pepper CHICKEN * 2 1/2 pounds skinless, boneless chicken thighs, fat trimmed * Salt and freshly ground pepper * 3 tablespoons vegetable oil * 1/4 cup blanched whole almonds * 1 large onion, finely chopped * 2 garlic cloves, minced * 1 teaspoon minced fresh ginger * 1 1/2 tablespoons garam masala * 1 1/2 teaspoons chile powder * 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper * One 35-ounce can peeled tomatoes, finely chopped, juices reserve * 1 cup heavy cream Directions: 1. MAKE THE MASALA MARINADE: In a large glass or stainless steel bowl, combine the yogurt, garlic, ginger, cumin, coriander, cardamom, cayenne and turmeric. Season with salt and pepper. 2. PREPARE THE CHICKEN: Using a sharp knife, make a few shallow slashes in each piece of chicken. Add the chicken to the marinade, turn to coat and refrigerate overnight. 3. Preheat the broiler and position a rack about 8 inches from the heat. Remove the chicken from the marinade; scrape off as much of the marinade as possible. Season the chicken with salt and pepper and spread the pieces on a baking sheet. Broil the chicken, turning once or twice, until just cooked through and browned in spots, about 12 minutes. Transfer to a cutting board and cut it into 2-inch pieces. 4. Meanwhile, in a small skillet, heat 1 teaspoon of the oil. Add the almonds and cook over moderate heat, stirring constantly, until golden, about 5 minutes. Transfer the almonds to a plate and let cool completely. In a food processor, pulse the almonds until finely ground. 5. In a large enameled cast-iron casserole, heat the remaining 2 tablespoons of oil until shimmering. Add the onion, garlic and ginger and cook over moderate heat, stirring occasionally, until tender and golden, about 8 minutes. Add the garam masala, chile powder and cayenne and cook, stirring, for 1 minute. Add the tomatoes with their juices and the sugar and season with salt and pepper. Cover partially and cook over moderate heat, stirring occasionally, until the sauce is slightly thickened, for about 20 minutes. Add the cream and ground almonds and cook over low heat, stirring occasionally, until thickened, about 10 minutes longer. Stir in the chicken; simmer gently for 10 minutes, stirring frequently, and serve.

July/August 2008

San Diego

Poway Center for the Performing Arts


2:00 p.m.


Holly Carney…A Labor of love

By Judith A. Habert Photos by Lisa K. Miller


When first meeting Holly Carney you can’t help but notice alternative to sitting in front of the TV or computer for hours her breathtaking beauty. But within moments of speaking on end. with her you soon find the beauty of this lady goes way There is however a fourth child - perhaps the one that has beyond her appearance. Her excitement, when she speaks made the biggest impact on the family: Kodi. Although Kodi about the things that are most important to her, can be seen is not their child but their niece, they have taken her into in the way her eyes light up. You soon come to understand why she has the effect she does on all of those around her. She is married to NFL placekicker (and former San Diego Charger) John Carney. Their home is a thing of beauty, but more importantly it is filled with photographs representing precious memories of their children, family members, some of the experiences they have shared, and people they have met over the years. It is warm, friendly, and breathtaking - not unlike its inhabitants. John, Holly’s husband, is charming and friendly and very unassuming. Football has been the center of their lives with the family their family and refer to her as one of their kids. Kodi is the moving around wherever John is currently playing. As Holly daughter of Holly’s brother who passed away after a long states, “We don’t do well when we are apart.” So if the chilbattle with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. dren need to be homeschooled for awhile to accommodate Kodi is a beautiful 16 year old and her pictures stand as the schedule, then Holly steps in. She is a former school prominently among the other photos in the Carney home. teacher so this works well for their lifestyle. With a tough childhood, and a Mom who abandoned her at If you ask about their children Holly will tell you about their the age of 4 months, Kodi was raised by her Dad. When wonderful kids. Their children, Kiki, JD, and Luke are all her Dad became ill and subsequently passed away it bebeautiful children who were raised to care about others came obvious that Kodi needed help. She was a teenager and to share what they have. They don’t have Playstation, in crisis. She had run away, gotten into trouble repeatedly, Xbox, or Wii. Nor do they have computers since both Mom and just seemed to have lost faith in the people around her. and Dad believe that they should enjoy the beauty of the People left her and her young mind could not understand outdoors. The children are all involved in sports, a healthy why, so she rebelled. July/August 2008

July/August 2008

San Diego


Holly and John knew they had to do something so they stepped in to help, not only taking her into their home, but doing whatever was necessary to help her get back on track. This wasn’t easy. Kodi didn’t make it easy. Before long it seemed as if the Carneys were spending an in ordinate amount of time bailing Kodi out. She was in and out of Juvenile hall four times. As Holly noted, “We brought Kodi into our home and she brought a lot of bad stuff with her. She was a wounded bird and we brought her into our home to try and help her heal. When you have a wounded bird and you bring it into your nest, you have to keep the other little birds from getting wounded too. We understand our priorities; they are God, each other and our Kids.” Holly did her part to be there for Kodi and to try and convince her that she belonged in their home, in their family, and in their hearts. “It was an eye opening experience for me. It made me realize how tough these situations are on the families of these teens. It is embarrassing and very difficult for moms and dads to face the fact that their children have made mistakes and these mistakes may impact their entire lives.” Holly realized that Kodi was lucky: She had a strong support network and a lot more resources at hand than most teens in crisis. It was this realization that led Holly and John to create an annual fund raising event for these children and their families; hence the creation of Dinner with the Pros (http://www.dinnerwiththepros.org/). Holly realized that through their friends, and the network of sports celebrities they knew and had access to, they could create a way in which to raise funds.



During one of Kodi’s rebellious times she ended up at the members. Her school in San Marcos bragged this year that Encinitas Sheriff’s office. It was one of the officers that inKodi is their best student ever, with a GPA of 3.4, and is exformed Holly of TAPS, Teen Adolescent Placement Services pected to complete her senior year in a regular High School (http://www.taps14.org/), a service that Holly claims most and is even planning to go to Prom. Kodi loves being home likely saved Kodi’s Life. TAPS Family Services began as a and has committed to embracing her new found freedom and parent support group in Oceanside, California in 1994. The life with the Carney clan. Holly says, “We are confident she founders, Tony and Maryann Pallotto, had been through the is 100% on the road to success. We fawn over her quite a struggle of raising teens. They had three sons, two of whom bit and watch her like a new baby- She kind of laughs about were addicted to drugs and alcohol. They knew first-hand that, but understands…we’re all on team Kodi!” the devastation that this could bring to a family. Since its inception, almost 14 years ago, TAPS has helped over fifteen thousand families deal with teen and adolescent issues. As Holly noted, “Many families just don’t know where to turn.” TAPS provided the options and helped them to choose a solution that would work. In Kodi’s case it was a lock down facility in Florida: A tough decision for a parent or aunt to have to make, but one that has helped Kodi on her path to recovery. TAPS has helped thousands of troubled teens and their families find peace and begin the healing process. Over the time that Holly has spent helping Kodi, she has met many wonderful people. “I cannot say enough good things about the San Diego Juvenile Court system. It is exemplary. I have had only good experiences dealing with all of the people involved in the process. Judge Browder Willis took so much time going over Kodi’s files and took a genuine interest in helping her. Dorothy Daniels, her court appointed attorney was absolutely wonderful. Megan Hardy, her probation officer, has done back flips to help us with our niece. Even though Kodi has been in juvenile hall four times since 2004, the court recognizes that Kodi has a huge support team behind her so they have been wonderful.” Holly has done so much to help raise money and be a voice for those parents of troubled teenagers, that she was recently asked to serve as a parent representative for the Parent Advisory Council for JCCS (Juvenile courts and community schools.) There are 120 in San Diego, including Reflections in San Marcos and Monarch school for the homeless. The Council recently provided a day for parents of troubled teens to learn about issues that affect them and their children. Issues such as gangs, drug use, and runaways were discussed at a conference held on May 15th, 2008. Aside from her dedication to helping teens already in trouble, Holly has found another way to help stop the trouble before it begins. Every Wednesday evening she and Tim Foley, a well known local musician, host a teen group meeting (which is bible based) that provides a fun and safe place for local teens to get together and share their thoughts and concerns. Holly states, “The kids love being able to get together and talk, and sing and share their thoughts in a safe environment. Any teenager is welcome to join our group just contact me at Godsrave@ Yahoo.com” Holly Carney may not be as well known as her husband, but to those Moms and Dads at Juvenile hall, and to the parents of the children who attend her Wednesday evening teen group, she is definitely a star. An Important Update: After speaking to Holly this past week she informed me that things have turned around for Kodi. She is completely a part of their family now. She is attending the WednesOrder Online: Only $30.00 Freshmineralsusa.com day teen group and has been embraced by all of the other July/August 2008

has never felt so fresh

San Diego Woman Photographer Takes First Place At San Diego County Fair The San Diego County Fair sponsors a series of juried photographic exhibitions, open to individual photographers during the running of the annual fair.

operates a residential portrait studio in Rancho Penasquitos and specializes in maternity & newborn portraits, family portraits, business portraits and high school senior portraits.

Photography by Lisa K is proud to announce the 1st place award in the Black and White Portraits category at this year’s San Diego County Fair has been presented to Lisa K. Miller, owner of Photography by Lisa K. Ms. Miller entry has also been selected to receive the Michael Seewald Photographic Workshops award. Ms. Miller’s entry, award-winning portrait “Sophie’s Excitement” captures the expression of a young child’s delight at the simplest things. The portrait was on display in the photographic exhibition every day throughout the Fair.

San Diego


Lisa K Miller is an accomplished photographer in San Diego. She


July/August 2008

Walking For A Cause On June 7, 2008, in San Elijo Hills, the Mario R. Alvarez Sr. Cancer Foundation sponsored a walk to raise money to benefit pancreatic cancer research. The turn-out was tremendous and the mood inspiring. There were many donors who could not attend, but still donated to the cause. Four hundred and twenty six were in attendance and over $66,250 was raised, with all proceeds going to Scripps Genomic Medicine. There were people of all ages, shapes, and sizes walking to help the cause. Pancreatic cancer, although not one of the more well known causes, is one of


the most serious forms of cancer. Each year about 30,000 people in the United States are diagnosed with pancreatic cancer; more than 60,000 in Europe. Most of those diagnosed will have passed away by the end of the first year. The incidence of pancreatic cancer increases with age; most people are between the ages of 60 to 80 when they receive the diagnosis. It is more commonly found in men although in recent years the gap between men and women appears to be shrinking; possibly due to increased cigarette smoking among women. In the U.S., pancreatic cancer is the 9th or 10th most commonly diagnosed cancer (depending on gender), but the third leading cause of cancer death in men and the fourth in women. The median survival period from the time of diagnosis until demise is arguably the worst of any of the cancers generally if untreated only about 3 ½ months; with treatment this increases to about six months. With all of these factors, the Mario R. Alvarez Sr. Cancer Foundation was formed to help in the fight against pancreatic cancer. For more information on the foundation and a listing of upcoming events visit their website at http://www.malvarezcancerfoundation.org/

July/August 2008

San Diego



July/August 2008

George Carlin - Remembered

By Robert Tussey


Everyone has his or her favorite memory of George: The who railed against his work (most especially the court case seven dirty words seem to be the one most often quoted. brought by a lone mid-western pastor who had heard his Language can shock and repulse. It can enlighten and exseven dirty words on a pirate radio station in the wee hours plain. It can endear, and it can free. He knew this far before of the morning, thus leading to the Supreme Court), he said: most of us. But language, simple words, can get you arrest“There are two knobs on the radio sir, one to change the ed and ostracized. He knew this too. George was in good channel, and one to turn it off. It’s called freedom…” company here. Lenny Bruce. Richard Pryor. Kindred spirits Rest in peace George. leavened by words. There were the ‘blue’ comics of the forties and fifties: Redd Foxx, Bert Henry, Woody Woodbury, Rusty Warren, and dozens of others that worked the fringe. Their appearances were scandalous and drew much attention. Despite this, their following were legion and dedicated: There has always been an audience for language that speaks outside the societal box. Carlin’s early career was milque-toast in comparison. Through his many appearances on Merv Griffin and Mike Douglas he found his own following. Even then the characters he created were memorable: Al Sleet, the hippie-dippie weather man was a staple in his act during the 60’s. He was a staff writer on several shows and even had his own sitcom for two seasons (The George Carlin Show). But somewhere in the late sixties he began using cocaine and credits this period as his catharsis; “That was concurrent with my change from a straight comic to the album and counterculture period, and those drugs served their purpose. They helped open me up.” His long hair, beard, and tie-dyed shirts set him apart from the current flock of comedians and his language widened the chasm. The seven dirty words changed everything. Censorship, arrests and jail, and drugs fueled his anger and he continued to push the limits. But no matter what you thought about him, he made us laugh despite ourselves. I remember sitting cross-legged on the gymnasium floor of Cal State Northridge in 1971 and laughing so hard my whole body ached. This was my first glimpse at the new Carlin and it was liberating. His use of language, and the freedom he felt doing it excited me. He made people think about what they said and the thoughts they had. He changed a generation without missing a beat, much the way Lenny Bruce had done a decade earlier. The freedom to write and say the verboten came with a price. The religious community railed not only at Carlin and his ilk, but the direction their behavior was taking us as a society. The disagreements were loud and well covered in the media. Still, the tide had changed and, for the most part, we were better for it. Unfortunately, the use of language has denigrated to the point where ‘foul’ verbiage was used just because a comedian could. This countered the purpose of Lenny Bruce and George Carlin: They wanted to free us in the use of words, not shock us. History proves the pendulum effect: A thing, in order to change, must swing radically to both sides to (ultimately) find its middle ground. George understood this and fought to push that pendulum further and further. To his detractors, July/August 2008

HOW TO WRITE WELL • Let others read your words for a different perspective. Five people read every article I write to catch any problems. • Proof and edit your work. I read my stuff out loud to find mistakes. Sometimes backwards it read I. • Keep it organized, and keep it short. We’re all busy. Make your point…then stop. • Learn spelling and grammar. Spell Check doesn’t always work, so learn to use a dictionary. • Ask the reader to take an action. Like my column? Tell the editor, and I’ll be back in a future issue. • Use a PS – 80% of readers read them. There you have it – 16 easy tools guaranteed to prevent your audience from snoozing while reading your message. Finally, whatever you’re writing, have a strong finish to your message. It ties everything you’ve written into a neat bundle while leaving the reader with something to think about. It’s typically the strongest point you wanted to convey.

July/August 2008

San Diego

For years I’ve heard “How can I write better?” It’s an important question, since it impacts everything from memos to marketing materials, correspondence to business plans. Well-written materials are persuasive, use key phrases (at appropriate times), charm the reader and make her want to read more. Good writing presents expertise in both a succinct and interesting way, is well-organized, and speaks to the audience in language that is readily understood and related to. If you’ve read this far, head nodding (as opposed to nodding off), you may find these rules helpful to keep your reader’s attention. And whether you use these guidelines to increase your business’ success or invite neighbors to a Bunco game, your audience will be both more appreciative and receptive to your message. • Be clear about your objective. Select one main topic to focus on at a time. • Anticipate questions your audience may ask. You want readers to feel satisfied after they’ve finished reading your material. • Write like you speak. I really speak this way. It’s not pretty, but there it is. • Get to the point quickly. Otherwise the eyes of your audience members will glaze over. • Ask yourself "What's in it for the reader?" Then be sure to provide something of value. • Address the reader's concerns. What pain is the reader feeling that you can help resolve? • Don't be afraid to make bold factual statements. Think Muhammad Ali’s “Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.” • Remember the demographics of your audience. Don’t write about Mozart if your audience likes the Dixie Chicks. • Don't overdo the details. Paint your ideas with broad strokes. • Watch the tone of your writing. Don’t speak over your reader’s head, nor treat her like an idiot.


By Rob Weinberg


Slightly Delusional

A positive attitude is a good thing. From the time we are little- with “The Little Engine That Could” - to the time we are adults and read Dr. Norman Vincent Peale’s “The Power of Positive Thinking,” we are educated in focusing on our goals, and taking the necessary steps to achieve those goals. Yes, thinking we can accomplish something is a major step to success. However, there seems to be an explosion of varying degrees of positive thinking theories lately. Not that this is a bad


thing; I know I certainly like a vast array of options. Some of the theories are getting a little out there. By out there I mean close to condoning delusional thinking.

By Donna Hulme

alize it. I like sports as well as the next person, but it is not the end-all and do-all of my life. I silently thought, “Slightly delusional, but let them have their fun”. As a mother, I will be the first to admit that I am delusional where my children are concerned- what mother isn’t? Doesn’t every mother on the planet, when she first holds that little bundle of joy in her arms, think her baby is the cutest, the brightest, has the best sense of humor, and is the kindest? The list goes on and on. And well it should, as mothers we encourage our children, teach them how to overcome obstacles and adversity, and give them a good pep talk when they need it. However, calling an apple an orange, and believing the apple has therefore become an orange is flat out delusional. An acquaintance recently told me that chocolate does not make a person fat. The person is fat because she does not envision herself as thin. I’m quite sure if I envision myself with a Kate Moss figure while I am eating chocolate, the fat will still find a place to cling to on my body. If not, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, The Zone, South Beach, and any other weight loss regimen would be all over this idea of thinking fat off. I wish it were true. Just think of all the fantastic clothes at Bloomies that would look terrific on a bony frame.

I was at a party and all of us were watching a sports game on TV. We were all rooting for the same team, with the rah’s and yea’s after each successful play. In our group were a Alas, my positively delusional skills must be below par. couple of people who had just returned from a motivational I still gain weight if I eat chocolate. Apples are still apples seminar. At the beginning of the game they kept saying (although I much prefer oranges). My favorite sports teams things like, “We are so going to win, because I can visualstill lose on occasion and there is still suffering and conize it”. All well and good, I thought, they know the team has flict in this world. On the other hand, life is good; we can great coaching, has practiced and works well together, and buy almost any fresh fruit we want; we are told daily walks have the experience and desire to win. After a short time, it are about the best exercise there is, and some dear sweet was evident our team was either out-skilled, or was having lady invented Spanx! Woo-hoo! Look out Bloomies, here I an off day. Still the motivated ones were in denial, and kept come! expounding that our team would win, we just needed to visuJuly/August 2008

HOTEL WESTGATE By Todd Lafferty A visitor on a business trip to our fair city happened upon the Westgate Hotel and was inspired to pen the following...Thanks Todd!

Two songs in, my ears in flames I saunter up to bar back James A kindly man, a British sort Who slings the drinks while we cavort Talent stuffed, they gather here? “Ev’ry night for 30 years.” Flawless song -- passion aplenty -In a room just more than twenty. Voices echo in powered might Hotel Westgate, ev’ry night. For thirty years, James says, they’ve met Standards, oldies, show tune sets Dietrich, Rat Pack, Gershwin sung Dramatic opera, foreign tongue A classy joint, that much is

Third hour past and drunk am I Not from wine, but voices high Conga lines approach piano Though all await the tenor, Daniel He takes his place to loud applause But chords of Phantom give them pause The Steinway thunders, the tenor bellows Silencing observing fellows A voice with power that stirs a fright Hotel Westgate, ev’ry night Passion-filled, he sings with rage More expert than ever on the stage First-time jaws all fall agape As Webber’s song takes perfect shape Lobby patrons flow inside Swept up in his vocal tide The Phantom cries to choral brinks An’ the crowd lines up to buy him drinks Performing “Music of the Night” Hotel Westgate, ev’ry night Sauced and spent, to my regret They harmonize their last duet And though the patrons beg and plead Saloons have liquor laws to heed And out we go, but not before I vow to visit them once more. Who’d have known that one can see A secret show tune society Whose only pay is pure delight Hotel Westgate, ev’ry night.

July/August 2008

San Diego

Instead of heading up to bed A concert tha’d fetch two bills instead Believe not such a thund’rous boom Be produced in such a tiny room Voices textbook in their soundings Piano raucous in their poundings A good excuse to stay awake And watch the walls and glasses shake Voices leap to stunning heights Hotel Westgate, ev’ry night

clear By the intricate double-chandelier Jewels and suits and evening gowns An old-world place in new downtown Travelers saved from lonesome plights Hotel Westgate, ev’ry night


Evening’s end, a hotel bar Sleep awaits, but not before A glass of wine, a cabernet A song or two the girl will play But in the room is so much more The best have gathered to perform As scattered among the business crowd Are those who richly croon aloud They shake the walls and cause a sight. Hotel Westgate, ev’ry night.


The Joy of Artist Residencies

Artist residencies are a terrific way for creative types of all stripes – writers, painters, dancers, sculptors, photographers, and filmmakers -- to beef up their resumes, get a tremendous amount of work done, and see some of this great country of ours. As a fiction writer I've been lucky enough to be accepted at three programs: Caldera in Sisters, Oregon, in 2006; Red Cinder Artist Colony on the Big Island of Hawaii in 2007; and The Vermont Studio Center in Johnson, Vermont, this coming October. Residencies are usually awarded based on an artist's work. Some programs only accept published or acclaimed applicants, but many will consider emerging artists who have won awards or otherwise distinguished themselves. A few require references with the application, and many want artists and writers who are able to spend a committed length of time at the facility. They usually offer some type of housing, which can be anything from a log cabin to a room inside a house. Most include meal plans and some provide space to cook your own meals. The majority expect you to get there on your own and provide for your own transportation while you're there.


If you're a working woman with kids and/or a busy day job, an artist residency is the ultimate getaway. Imagine twothree weeks of nothing but fresh air and free time. You'll meet many other artists and writers. You get to sleep in or stay up late, read, explore, ruminate, meditate, breathe – and create your art. A great resource for locating artist residencies can be found at www.artistcommunities.org. Also, watch for announcements in industry publications and newsletters for your artistic field. Here is an excerpt from a note I sent to my agent after my stay at Caldera in Oregon: The residency was an incredible interlude -- so peaceful and beautiful. I awoke each morning to a blanket of snow on the deck and trees outside the window of my A-frame cabin. I'd build a fire in my little wood burning stove and listen to NPR on my shortwave radio while I made coffee, then worked until 1:30 or so. I usually hiked around Blue Lake or Suttle Lake in the afternoon, or sometimes went in to Sisters, which is a really pretty little town. There are lots of ranches off of Highway 20, and everyone has a few llamas interspersed with their cattle. The forest in Central Oregon is all Ponderosa pine and Douglas firs, spreading for miles up the valleys and into the hillsides. There was a blue heron who fed in Link Creek right outside my main window. He flew up into the air one day in the middle of a snow storm. It was a lovely sight. I also discovered a pair of bonded eagles that nest at Suttle Lake. July/August 2008

By Paula Margulies

The male has an eight-foot wing span. There were hundreds of salmon in the creek, heading for the fish ladder just outside the Hearth Center before returning to Blue Lake to spawn. I laughed out loud one morning when a baby squirrel fell out of one of the pine trees onto the

Advertise in San Diego Woman With 91% of all purchasing decisions made by women, why not go right to the source. Advertise in San Diego Women.

advertising@sandiegowoman. com


Submit local photographs that depict the beauty of San Diego. Photo credits will be proudly displayed with your pictures.

Letters from our readers make us smile!

Share your thoughts on our articles and include suggestions for future topics. San Diego Woman is your magazine, we want to hear from you! July/August 2008

San Diego

I really miss my fellow artists at Caldera. Even though we spent most of the days and nights working alone or in the center studios, we all got incredibly close. The whole experience of being there was amazing -- almost Zen. There is something about being in the woods where, except for the sound of the creek outside your window or the wind blowing through the trees, there is nothing but you and your work. I felt a sense of everything falling away -- all of the noise and material trappings -- and experienced a heightened state of awareness. Everything you do up there, from lighting a fire to walking along the lake shore to putting words on a page, becomes filled with intention. It was very hard to leave.

for special rates and information. For a media kit contact us at


deck outside my cabin. I think his appearance surprised us both. He sat there kind of stunned for a moment before scampering away. There was also a resident blue jay who was quite a persistent character. He'd hit the railing of the deck each morning with a loud thunk, and then come stumping up to the window, cocking his head and looking at me as if to say, "Okay, sister, cough up the food!"

Contact us today at 760 738 8700


Bitchin’ & Moaning Summertime in San Diego

Summer is upon us and we have those lazy days to look forward to. As a transplant from New York, I often marvel at the strict adherence to "seasons" when it is often beautiful enough to sun bathe in December. Yet, the beach and pool parking lots are virtually empty once the summer months have passed. This is a concept foreign to a former New Yorker who valued every precious day of our skimpy 2 months of good weather.


I can remember the process of getting ready for our one of two summer trips to the beach. Yes, in those days, growing up in Queens meant heat filled summers with the corner fire hydrant serving as our only cooling device. When word came from Mom that Dad had a Sunday off from his job as a city bus driver, the excitement began. We would gather up the cooler filled with a large thermos full of lemonade, pepper and egg sandwiches (the official Italian beach sandwich), fresh fruit, and a myriad of snack foods. Then we would have the towels, beach chairs, Frisbee and beach ball, umbrellas, change of clothes, radio, and a hernia, which generally accompanied the carrying of all of the beach paraphernalia. Off we would go, all smiles in anticipation of this semiannual beach experience. Well, the smiles actually only lasted until we got in the car. My brother and I were in the back seat of our medium sized family car with all of the above mentioned paraphernalia. Unlike typical car rides, my brother and I would not be bickering during this trip - basically because we couldn't see each other over all of the stuff packed into the back seat. Since it was New York and typically 98 degrees with high humidity, and of course no air conditioning in the car, we wouldn't have had the energy to fight anyway. It would take two hours in the Sunday traffic to make it

By Judith A. Habert

from home to Jones beach. We would circle the parking lot for 40 minutes trying to find a parking spot which would inevitably be 2.3 miles from the beach entrance. We would unpack the car and lug all of the beach stuff with us to the perfect patch of sand. Of course the sand would be 127 degrees so it would be a brisk skip to the final sunbathing spot. Then we would put everything in place. Open the umbrella, spread out the blankets, and sit down. Then one of us, usually me, would let Mom know that we needed to use the restroom. And we would begin the ascent back to the boardwalk and the facilities. When we returned to the blanket it would be my brother’s turn and off Dad would trek with him on a similar path. When we had all settled in my brother and I would run for the water…Mom warning to not go in to deep or the undertow would drown us. We would play for awhile and then it was time for lunch. Out we would go to the blanket and indulge in our lunch. Then we had to sit around and look at each other for an hour, since we were never allowed to go back in the water because we would cramp up and drown if we didn’t allow an hour for the food to digest. After more swimming and sand castle building we would go to the boardwalk, get changed and go to the special show at the Jones Beach Amphitheater. I remember seeing The Sound of Music, and it was magical. Those summer days were great. The lugging of beach stuff, the long walk, the unbearably hot car ride there and back, but still it was the highlight of our summer. I guess this is why I don’t understand the limitations of our summer season here. But who am I to complain, because come December there I will be sitting on the beach with my pepper and egg sandwich enjoying every off- season ray of sun.

July/August 2008

San Diego

Woman 27

July/August 2008

Traveling With Teens “I’ve been there!”

By Diane Garner (travelingwithteens@cox.net)

AloooooooooHA! Believe me, your teenager will roll her eyes at the exaggerated pronunciation used by tour guides on buses, emcees at shows, and even the flight attendants on your plane. But, hopefully by the end of your trip to Hawaii, the normal pronunciation of “aloha” will roll easily off her tongue to offer others the standard Hawaiian greeting.


“I already took my kids to Hawaii when they were younger,” you may be saying. A lot of us in San Diego have taken multiple trips to the islands. However, a vacation in that tropical paradise is different with a teenager. Duh! Isn’t every trip? But, the difference this time is actually positive. There are just so many more things you can do and places you can visit that a teenager will appreciate more than a child. Because each island offers a wealth of possibilities, I’ll concentrate on one island at a time. This article will focus on Oahu since it’s the first island folks usually visit. However, I must confess it is not my family’s favorite. If you’ve been there, you know what I mean when I say it has become too commercial. Take away the beaches, and Honolulu could be any one of several other American cities: Traffic, noise, congestion, slums, high rises. See the city quickly, rent a car, and go enjoy the rest of the island. Remember, it isn’t a foreign country! They speak English. Traffic laws are familiar, Hawaiians drive on the right side of the road and you can understand the highway signs. Your teen will give you a lot less ATTITUDE if not forced to mingle with a bunch of strangers on a guided tour. Promote a feeling of adventure by tackling Oahu on your own. After the requisite visit to famous Waikiki Beach, get out of town. Take your teen snorkeling at Hanauma Bay. Haven’t

snorkeled before? No problem. The calm, shallow waters of this bay provide the perfect introduction to what may become a lifelong sport. Only ten miles from Waikiki, this state park is hugely popular. So, go early to avoid the crowds and get into the parking lot before it’s full. Depending on your teen’s swimming ability, some common sense independence can be enjoyed here. Of course, set reasonable limits and enforce them. Then give him one of those one-use underwater cameras and let him go exploring. Meanwhile, parents can do some snorkeling of their own or simply enjoy the sights from the beach. Several websites are available with detailed information about hours, directions, facilities, etc.

Even closer than Hanauma Bay, Fort DeRussy Beach Park is located at the west end of Waikiki Beach. A coral reef situated a few hundred feet offshore creates another excellent snorkeling environment. Take your snorkel equipment with you whenever you travel around the island. Your teen will enjoy spontaneous stops to discover new beaches. A word of warning- we made one such unplanned stop and got quite a shock. Halfway down the steep path, my husband and I noticed something unusual about the people on the beach below; they were naked! Big awkward moment with the kids! Nude or clothing optional beaches are not legal in Hawaii, but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Be aware or your teens may get an education that you hadn’t planned.

July/August 2008

If your teen has already studied World War II in high school, this would be a great time to visit the USS Arizona Memorial at Pearl Harbor. About a 45-minute drive from downtown Honolulu, this final resting place for almost 1,200 crew members offers an emotional and patriotic experience, which a teen should be mature enough to appreciate. Since most teens are movie addicts, having them watch movies about the attack on Pearl Harbor may enhance the real-life visit. The National Geographic’s Beyond the Movie: Pearl Harbor gives a reasonable insight into the “date which will live in infamy.” Use a conversation with a grandparent about personal memories of December 7, 1941, to compare to the teen’s memories of September 11, 2001. However you choose to prepare your teens for the somber Memorial visit, please remember to emphasize the historical and personal significance of the lives lost that fateful day.

Have fun, and oh yeah, AloooooooooHA! P. S. I would love to hear from you, at the above e-mail address, about all of your travel experiences with your teens. Give me some helpful tips to pass along to other parents of teens. Tell me about your best trip and your worst, but especially explain why the trips turned out that way. Tell me your ideas, gimmicks, threats, punishments, or anything that might help the poor parent who is dreading a family trip with a teenager. Together, we may save a parent’s sanity! So, until next time, keep traveling with your teens!

From a strictly teen point-of-view, the following attractions fall into the categories of “Don’t bother” and “Hmmm, maybe.” Judge for yourself and good luck. Don’t bother: Honolulu Zoo Waikiki Aquarium Iolani Palace Anything labeled a museum Hmmm, maybe: Polynesian Cultural Center Byodo-In Temple Pali Lookout Of course, remember to allow plenty of time to relax and enjoy the beautiful sandy beaches and warm ocean water. Unlike San Diego County’s stretch of the Pacific, the waters around Oahu will not leave you blue and shivering. Grab a boogie board or let your body do the surfing. July/August 2008

San Diego

Your hotel may offer some native Hawaiian activities that can fill a few hours for your teen if she is in the mood (i.e. the ATTITUDE meter is reading at a low level). Consider an outrigger canoe ride, hula lessons, or lei making. Parents may need this break to rejuvenate in the hotel bar with a few Mai Tais or Blue Hawaiians. Some hotels stage luaus that are open to the public. (Warning: Don’t eat the poi!) We generally avoid these kinds of shows (in Hawaii and elsewhere) because our teens consider them bogus, and they often are. But a luau can be good entertainment, if not an accurate representation of the native culture. For that, visit the Polynesian Cultural Center.


On a much lighter note, seeing the famous Pipeline may be the highlight of the entire trip if your teen surfs. Located on the North Shore of Oahu, this location hosts world-class surfing competitions. Unfortunately, we visited in the summer when the waves are deceptively small. It’s still worth the time, but a winter visit with pictures to document the monstrous waves will earn you many brownie points with your teen, surfer dude or not.


He Said, She Said Are men really from Mars and Women from Venus, as author Dr. John Gray states in his bestselling book? Do men and women really see things that differently? If given the same question could their answers really be so different? At San Diego Woman we wanted to explore the differences between “them” and “us”. Read our first installment and find out how the sexes differ when it comes to “housework,” and then share your thoughts with us. Who do you agree with? What topics would you like to see us duke it out over in upcoming issues? No topic is off limits, so write me at editor@sandiegowoman.com. I can’t wait to hear from you!

He Said...

Men and housework – an oxymoron? Most women would tell you yes. I don’t thinks so. In my circle of friends men do chores (as dubbed by you) regularly. We don’t even get the courtesy of having what we do called what it is; housework. To be clear, there are a quantifiable number of men who don’t have a clue. Unfortunately, the same thing applies to you ladies. I have seen this too many times not to add it to the equation. We (men) don’t clean and tidy the way you do. Are we

came more involved with raising our families in the eighties - the whole gamut from diapers to strollers to stay at home dads and tutors: And you tired of it! We’re doing more and more of the housework and you’re still… Dr. Laura said a mouthful when she stated “If you give a woman everything she wants, she will lose respect for you.” What started this rant was two recent books by the Cambridge Women’s Pornography Cooperative and Susan Anderson, ‘Porn for women’ and ‘Porn for New Moms’ (No,


wrong? No. But it seems that no matter how much we do they’re not pornography). They speak to the issue of men (around the house) we get the ‘you missed that’ or ‘let me doing chores (there’s that word again) around the house and show you the RIGHT way’ attitude (Actually, you won’t say that it is (can be) a turn on for their wives/significant others/ ‘let me show you the right way,’ it’ll be more like you’ll FIX it girlfriends, et al. She even dubbed the term CHOREPLAY when we leave and smile at the results) . as a precursor to sex. Replete with beefcake pictures and I’ll give you the laundry caveat: Delicate and soak modes calendars we’re being objectified as sex objects! Balderare roadblocks to progress. If I don’t hear the washing dash! I will grant you that if men knew that housework machine humming and draining I think it’s either broke of finturned you ladies on, you would ALWAYS come home to a ished. Move on – next step! So here’s the rule: I’ll do 90% spotless castle complete with wine, soft music, a babysitter, and you do the “delicates.” Fair enough? and dinner. We have our priorities. Vacuum, dishes, dusting, bathrooms, floors, we can get it Fact is that a large amount of men have been doing chores done. My men friends get it done. And what do we get? (your words, not mine) for years. The division between yard/ “Oh, he tries.” You wanted us to cry in the seventies: We garage and house has long ago been breeched. It became did and you tired of it. You wanted us to be sensitive in the a necessity when the single income home begat the dual ineighties: We did and you tired of it. You wanted us to be come we-need-two-people-earning-money-to-make-it housemore than just the man around the house in the nineties: We hold. We were slow on the uptake but times have changed did and you tired of it. I still haven’t found out what you want and we deserve some credit. in this new millennium - and you’re still tired of it. We beBy the way, how do you like your eggs and bacon? July/August 2008

Okay you got us…we don’t call it housework, we call it chores. Why, you might ask? Because as hard as it is to get you guys to do anything around the house, calling it housework would make it virtually impossible. What man - when called upon by his friend to play a game of golf on a Saturday - would be able to turn him down by telling him “I’m sorry I have housework to do?” The laughing would be heard across the county. Instead we try to help you out by giving it a manlier name…”Chores.” How many of you men out there haven’t had to tell a friend that you were unavailable because you had a “Honey do” list to attend to. There was definitely no laughing since undoubtedly they too have had their share of similar lists. But I think what antagonizes women even more…or maybe just this woman, is the attitude that when you do housework, we owe you for helping us with “our” job. Don’t get me wrong, but in the times of two career homes, vacuuming does not clearly belong to those of us with a uterus. And who said it was our job in the first place? If you were bachelors all of the jobs would belong to you, and perhaps the key question here is…would you then tell your

will have any energy for nighttime activities…yes sex. So… even those altruistic men out there who claim to share in the housework and take an equal role in the care of the kids may have ulterior motives. But I think we can forgive you for that because after all, we enjoy the evening activity as much as you men do and if you truly think it takes your doing housework to put us in the mood…..well you go on thinking that and maybe consider going to see the “sex in the city” movie. No wait, don’t! It might give us away and we will be back to handling all of those chores ourselves. Let me speak up for all the lucky women out there who have men who do actually share in the workload and don’t complain about it, and don’t do it so it has to be redone, or because they think we will be more in the mood, we do appreciate you. And we promise not to tell your golf buddies.

By Robert Tussey & Judith A. Habert Photos by Lisa K. Miller

San Diego


She Said...


friend inquiring about a friendly game of golf that you couldn’t because you had “housework” to do? The question as to whether you don’t “clean or tidy up” as we do is simple and you know it! Of course you don’t clean and tidy up as we do But the reason for that is simple, you are smarter than us! You have figured out that if you do a half-assed job of cleaning up, and we are therefore forced to redo the job, then eventually it will occur to us that rather than cleaning up the mess you made of it, we should just do it ourselves. Bingo, you won, and out the door you go to play golf. Okay, so maybe some of you out there are different. Perhaps you are doing your share of housework and truly doing it the best you can….but why is that you may ask? Because you have probably realized if your wife has to work 9-5 and take care of the kids, prepare meals, clean the house, shop and attend to everything, there is no chance in hell that she July/August 2008

Join The Fun!

The fastest growing magazine in San Diego is in search of Motivated Sales Representatives San Diego Woman is growing and we are in search of local sales representatives. to work on either a full or part time basis. Unlimited Earning Potential. Call us today at 760 738 8700 for more information.

San Diego Woman

Hollywood Connection

performing his Mark Twain Tonight!) of the beautiful Balboa Theatre downtown. Recently Jay Leno has been hosting several major benefits in San Diego. Maybe he might broadcast the Tonight Show with Jay Leno from here.

By Selena Parker

Richard Dreyfus, the award-winning actor of screen and TV, has bought a home in the San Diego area.

Sarah Jessica Parker (Sex and the City) has her collection “Bitten” at Horton Plaza. She’s expected to come to town this summer to promote her very “reasonable” fashions.

Gerald McRaney (Simon and Simon) is very supportive of the military and comes to the area for several events. Ben Vereen, film and stage star, recently appeared with the San Diego Symphony. He performed songs made famous by his mentor Sammy Davis Jr.

Steve Cannell was in San Diego recently promoting his latest book Three Shirt Deal and the release of the DVDs of his successful series Rockford Files featuring James Garner.

Debra Winger, three-time Oscar nominated actress, discussed her new book “Undiscovered” at the David and Dorothea Garfield Theatre in La Jolla.

Bill Cosby is expected to perform at Valley View Casino in September.

The local division of SAG (Screen Actors Guild) celebrated SAG’s 75th Anniversary at Balboa Park.

Scott Bakula (Quantum Leap and Star Trek) performed in a play in San Diego recently.

Hollywood Tip: Wear large sunglasses with your favorite hat.

San Diego native Mario Lopez (Dancing with the Stars) was in town for the grand re-opening (with Hal Holbrook

Send any interesting items about celebs and events to selenasshowcase@yahoo.com.


July/August 2008

Speaking of Women’s Health Discover your everyday Super Heroes

Mike Murphy

San Diego

I had an opportunity to attend a life changing event today - and for that I would like to extend a warm thank you to Sharp Healthcare and President and CEO Mike Murphy. I attended the ‘Speaking of Women’s Health’ event held at the Sheraton Harbor Island hotel. This is an annual event which began 17 years ago. It was formerly called “The Sharp Women’s Health Symposium.” Its purpose is to educate San Diego women about important health topics. I have been to many similar events over the years, but I have never attended one that was so well presented and as valuable as this one. It was upbeat, it was fun, it was important, and it made an impact. How many things in life could fit that bill? With Emcee Carol Lebeau and keynote speakers Dr. Pamela Peeke, MD, MPH, FACP, expert in nutrition, fitness and stress and Colette Carlson, Communication skills expert, helped make the event a success. The audience was all smiles while enjoying the important message that was presented with humor and urgency: Women need to put themselves first and take the time to take care of themselves. If we don’t, who will? We were also reminded by Dr. Peeke that procrastination can kill. Women, as caregivers, often forget to take care of themselves. As Dr. Peeke stated, and shortly had the entire audience chanting, “If not now, when?” Keeping this in mind we salute Sharp for making a very positive contribution to Women and helping remind us that every day is important and we all need to take a deep breath and listen not only to our hearts but to our bodies as well. Remember, tomorrow may be too late!


By Judith Habert

33 Carol Lebeau

Dr. Pamela Peeke

July/August 2008

The Wine Connoisseur

Put Some “Bling” into Your Summer Wine By Deborah Damery Lazear, CSW

I love “Bling”. My husband knows this as a certainty. As a wine lover, my wine bling is in the bubbles. I simply adore sparkling wine from all over the world. Nothing says “chill out” like a glass of cold sparkling wine bubbles tickling your nose.


Summer is the perfect time to branch out and try bubblies from all over the world. Sparkling wine is consumed cooler than still white wine and the high acidity pairs wonderfully with warm weather fare. All right, I confess, any time of year is great for bubbly. Heck, I consider Champagne the number one breakfast food after eggs Benedict. It even beats out chocolate much to my husband’s chagrin. Sometimes one just doesn’t get excited over a familiar old friend Chardonnay. While Pinot Grigio (aka Pinot Gris) is a great summer choice, too many taste like lemon water without any zing whatsoever. I put too much effort into cooking to pair it up with a ho-hum wine.

Allow me to quickly explain the difference between the world’s sparkling wines and Champagne. It is really not all that complicated. Champagne is from the Champagne region of France…period. All other sparklers are not and do not earn the name Champagne. California is phasing out the use of the word Champagne to bow to the wine world’s opinion that a place name belongs to the place and not to the wine style. Remember California Chablis? There was nothing Chablis about it! The only similarity was that Chablis, the place in France, makes white wine and the color of the wine in California Chablis was also white! The grapes weren’t even the same!

Well, maybe this differentiation is a little too simple. Allow me to elaborate. There are several methods of producing sparkling wine: 1. Charmat or Cuve Close. This refers to an inexpensive method of allowing the second fermentation of a still wine, through the introduction of You have probably noticed additional sugar (dosage) that I have used the word to occur in a large sealed sparkling wine several vat. Examples are Asti times now and Champagne Spumante from Italy and only once. There is a Sekt from Germany. distinct difference between 2. Carbonation. The the two. Men and women cheapest method and of the period 1789-1890 poorest in terms of quality. died over the word. I know, Think soda bubbles here. because the seat of the Still wine is chilled in large revolution to guard the word tanks into which carbon ‘Champagne’ for sparkling wine (whose grapes are grown dioxide is pumped. The wine is bottled under pressure. and vinified only in Champagne) was started by Rene La3. Method Champenoise. The most complex method marre in the little village of Damery, in the region of Marne, of all and used by the finest houses over the world. After the Champagne, France. My ancestors are from Damery; note first fermentation in stainless steel tanks, the still wine of high my name at the top of this article. I come by my love of acidity is blended with other still wines (some of the same Champagne honestly! year, some of older years) to create the blend. The wine is then put into bottles with July/August 2008

Let’s clarify the different types of Champagne/sparkling wine and demystify the labels. Non-vintage Champagne means the contents are a blend of several years of wine and maintain the consistent style of a Champagne house like Mumm, for example. If a year is on the label, this is Vintage Champagne and all the grapes used came from the same year. It will vary in style depending on the weather and grow-

ing conditions of that year. An emerging trend is for more Champagne grape producers to bottle their own wine instead of selling their grapes to larger houses like Tattinger; look for the letters RM in tiny print on the label. You can think of these Champagnes as boutique wines. In areas other than Champagne, look for the words Method Champenoise to ensure that Champagne-like effort and care has gone into your sparkling wine production.

San Diego

Another point in reading labels of sparkling wines is a few tricky words that can easily lead to a disappointing experience. Dry sparkling wine is Brut or Extra Brut. Believe it or not, Extra Dry is actually a little sweet! See what I mean about the devil in the details. Sec, the French word for dry, is actually not dry at all; it would be a good choice for a wedding cake wine as both are sweet.


sugar and selected yeasts. The wine is bottled, capped, and the second fermentation begins. The yeast feeds off of the sugar (much like making bread), creating carbon dioxide which is trapped in the bottle. The yeasts die and drop to the bottom of the bottle UNLESS the bottles are rotated a little over a period of time to where all the sediment ends up in the upside down bottle’s neck. Eventually, the wine bottle necks are passed through a freezing solution, the cap is removed, and the dead yeast shoots out leaving the remaining wine clear. However, there is a space of air left by the departing residue. Air is the enemy of wine. The gap is filled with reserved still wine and sugar. The amount of sugar will determine the sweetness of the finished sparkling wine. The wine bottles are laid to rest in a quiet, cool place for 15 months up to many years, where they enjoy a spa-like vacation.

The grapes for Champagne are Chardonnay, Pinot Noir, and Pinot Meunier. Full stop. Other countries and regions of France use same or other grapes for their sparkling wine. Many countries of the world make sparkling wine. I suggest you try them all (not on the same evening, however). Here are a few of my favorites.

Fun Fact Do you have a client or relative who keeps you on the phone forever? Or perhaps you have a meeting with a friend that tends to go on endlessly.? Now there is a quick and easy free solution to your dilemma. Go to www.phonemyphone.com and put in a time and your phone number. You will be called back at the specified time. This will help get you out of that awkward situation. July/August 2008


Spain. The wine is known as Cava and primarily comes from the Penedes region. The grapes are parellada, xarello, macabeo, subirat, and a smaller amount of chardonnay. All these grapes are white. Now you know why Freixenet doesn’t taste like Champagne! It is usually made in the Method Champenoise and an excellent choice for food paring as it has high acid. A name to look for is Mont-Marcal Cava Brut Reserva.

Yeah, like I ever have any left!

Italy. If you haven’t heard of Prosecco, you need to get out more. This is the hot, but definitely not new, bubbly of choice for the in crowd at a summer barbeque or cocktail party. It is made from the grape of the same name. It is low in alcohol and generally dry. Yumm! Please don’t turn up your nose when you see the word Moscato. Go out on a limb and buy a Moscato D’Asti, put some warm peaches in a dish, and begin the reverie.

The best matches for Champagne include foods that are rich in the 5th taste, umami. Think of mushrooms, Parmesan cheese, roasted or sun dried tomatoes, roast chicken with the skin on it, roast veal, seared shellfish such as scallops, lobster, or shrimp, prosciutto or jamon, Thai food, and Vietnamese style dishes made with fish sauce, any dish with soy sauce, sushi, egg dishes, and peas, yes, peas.

Australia. Besides the sparkling Shiraz, which I don’t recommend too quickly, Australia has some fabulous sparkling wines. Look for the words Method Champenoise and Brut; you won’t be disappointed. New Zealand. With its reputation for sensational cool weather Sauvignon Blanc, it comes as no surprise that New Zealand excels at sparkling wine. I suggest Kim Crawford Brut or anything from around Hawkes Bay.


France, Alsace. A little harder to find but worth the hunt is the Cremant d’Alsace made from Pinot Blanc, Pinot Gris, Riesling with a little Chardonnay and Pinot Noir. Delicious! France, Loire Valley. Brut Vouvray NV is a delicate sparkling wine and a refreshing alternative to Champagne; made from Chenin Blanc grapes.

WINE PAIRING TIP OF THE SEASON In keeping with this articles theme, I want to share with you the biggest wine pairing secret I have ever learned. Just between you and me, sparkling wine goes with almost everything! Really! Even a big steak will be just fine with a Vintage Brut Rose such as Billecart Salmon.

I know the classic pairing is caviar and I sure wouldn’t dispute that. Along with smoked salmon, the other hors d’oeuvre on our coffee table is always good quality potato chips. What a match! My husband and I gave a dinner party for the 8th Annual Wall Street Journal Open the Bottle Night a few years ago. We started by drawing our guests into our inner courtyard where I, resplendent in evening gown, had my deep fryer going to make pommes frites dusted with truffle salt served hot in paper cones. What did we serve to drink? Why, Champagne of course! Enjoy!

United States. First, let me clarify that California is not your only choice. One of my favorite Rose Sparkling wines comes from Gruet in New Mexico and is made of the Pinot Noir grape. Other states excelling at sparkling wines include Oregon. Look for Argyle Brut Rose Willamette Valley or Argyle Brut. Washington State, also a cool place for sparkling wine (pun intended), offers us value and quality with its Domaine Ste. Michelle NV Cuvee Brut. Massachusetts and New York State also have wonderful sparkling wines. Don’t overlook Michigan, either! California is well known for its French liaisons, and I mean that in the most respectful way. The French Champagne houses of Mumm (Mumm Cuvee Napa), Tattinger (Domaine Carneros), Moet Hennessey Lois Vuitton (Domaine Chandon), Remy Martin (Piper Sonoma), Veuve Clicquot (Pacific Echo) and Louis Roederer (Roederer Estate) are all examples of collaboration that greatly benefit the American sparkling wine consumer. A few final tips: serve sparkling wine and Champagne a little colder than your still white wine. Open the bottle with a cloth over the cork; sparkling wine is bottled at 6 atmospheres of pressure, enough to give you a bigger black eye than Rocky ever had. Serve the wine in flutes to preserve the sparkle. If you don’t finish the bottle, make sure you have a sparkling wine bottle stopper (available at any wine store for a few dollars); it will keep its bubbles for a day or two. July/August 2008

Business Matters

Appreciative Inquiry is a tool used in business (today) to cause people to look at themselves and business situations in a positive way. Too often in business we ask ourselves the question “what did we do wrong or who was at fault?” You know how that line of thinking goes. We

Recently, I was told about used this concept the results the

someone in business that of Appreciative Inquiry and were amazing. One of managers was concerned about employee turnover and demanded to know why it was so high. One person said:” Wait a minute, there are a whole bunch of employees that have been with us for a long time and why don’t we ask them why they have stayed with the company?” In other words,

tend to do it to ourselves as well.” Why did I fail? Why couldn’t I have done a better job?” We are really hard on ourselves at times.

San Diego

I just looked up the word “appreciate” in one of my old dictionaries and found one of the definitions to be: Increase in value. I like that definition.

By Jack Doxey


Appreciative Inquiry

37 approach it from the positive thought of employee retention or appreciative inquiry into the positive world of employee retention.

May I suggest that we take time out of our busy schedules to write down all the things that we like about ourselves, including some of the traits that we are proud of. Also, what do our friends and co workers say about us that raises our self esteem? After compiling the list I suggest that you pair up and share your list with another associate. The exercise can be very rewarding. It raises your self esteem and you come away from the exercise exhilarated.

They received so much good information on why employees stay, they used this new found knowledge to retain employees. The results were outstanding and the turnover issue went away. Wouldn’t it be nice if we were not so quick to criticize ourselves or others and substitute it with the practice of Appreciative Inquiry? It will increase our value to ourselves, our employer, employees, customers and humanity in general. Sounds like a good deal to me.

July/August 2008

Glorious Summer!

By Mary Berney

Certified Life and Career Coach “May Gray and June Gloom” are grudgingly accepted by San Diegan’s because we know we will emerge from those foggy, windy, and chilly temperatures to those wonderful glorious days of summer. Summer! Oh how we love summer. We love the thought of fresh lemonade, picnics on the beach, backyard barbeques and sweet juicy watermelon! There’s nothing else like it!


Remember how you used to measure your life by your summer vacation – the time between Memorial Day and Labor Day? So many wonderful and life-altering experiences occurred during this time. June brought graduation from high school or college; weddings – ours and our best friends; and Father’s Day. In July we were celebrating Independence Day with family members, traveling across the United States or Europe meeting interesting people and seeing the world from a new vantage point. August was full of beach parties, backyard barbeques and fun summer nights spent dancing and laughing! Remember those special moments? These exceptional times often bring incredible feelings and memories and help us reminisce and even daydream about very special moments in our lives. These important events (or moments) are often called “rites of passage” – times that forever change our lives and transition us from one phase to another. High school graduation, for example, signifies moving from adolescence into early adulthood. Marriage signifies moving us from a single “care-free” life to one with greater commitment and responsibility. During our life, we all have many turning points and experiences that shape the rest of our lives.

and joy. It is the process of visualizing yourself in that very moment and reliving the feelings, sounds, sights, sensations, and thoughts. Stop for a moment and do this unique exercise. Sit comfortably in a chair, close your eyes, and bring into your consciousness a special moment. Can you hear the people around you? Is there a unique smell in the air? Is it daylight or evening? Is the sun shining brightly? Is the moon shining through the trees? Is it quiet and still? Where are you? Who are you with? If you are wondering what kind of moment to chose, you can pick from some of the suggestions above, or take a moment to read about an incredible woman I met and how she discovered her special visualization moment. Flying from San Francisco to San Diego, I sat next to an 82 year old woman who proudly shared her age and that she wants more in her life. She was vibrant, communicative and engaging. She was telling me bits and pieces of her life and concluded her story by adding that her daughters were trying to help her with her anxious moments by telling her to visualize “walking through a forest with lots of trees.” She told me that she simply could not put herself in that situation no matter how hard she tried. She just wasn’t “the walking through the forest kind of gal.” I prompted her to think of some other kind of moments that elicit special feeling. As she described this moment in detail, I saw visible changes in her physical appearance. Her breathing slowed down, her facial expression changed and a gentle peace came over her. She grinned from ear to ear. She and her husband, now deceased, took a year to travel around the world when they were young and without children. It was one of the most significant events of the year and her life. Eyes closed, seeing the picture in her mind, she told me that it was as if she was there again, with him, in India. And although this experience took place decades ago, in her mind it was as fresh and immediate as the day it happened.

These turning points become the memories and stories of our life and also tell us a great deal about whom we are. The opportunity to daydream and reminisce is an important part of our psychological health and helps us in our every day grind at work and at home. Taking time to “transport” you to that special moment is not only a stress management technique, but a way to return to sense of empowerment July/August 2008

I asked what this experience means to her now. Her reply, ing and the strength of these special moments. These are “Well, Mary, I was always an adventurer. I was open to expe- the moments that helped to transform your life. riences that most people do not have. I was able to take one day at a time and live in the moment. And although it was Welcome summer with open arms! There are more not easy travelling around the world with basically no money incredible moments ahead. and not knowing what was next, I knew everything would 2008 Woman 4/28/08 3:52 PM Page 1 work out. And today at ‘my age’,SD I must remember that life is still an adventure for me and things will work out.”

The big question about these moments is this, “What do these special moments tell you about you?” During these San Diego summer months, take time to reflect on your special moments and think about why these experiences are so meaningful for you. Write down their meaning(s) and post them on the bathroom mirror, put them on the refrigerator or inside your car so each day you can connect with the power, the mean-


• Stationery

• Direct Mail

• Booklets

• Office Forms • Folders • Newsletters

• Posters

• Invitations

• Flyers

• Door Hangers • Rack Cards Custom Jobs - Our Specialty!


w w w. s t re e t e r p r i n t i n g . c o m Offering quality & reliability since 1980

(Near Hwy. 15 & Miramar Rd.) Fax 858-566-0436 9880 Via Pasar, Suite C • San Diego, CA 92126 July/August 2008

San Diego

In Coaching, these moments are called “times of ecstatic engagement”. They are the very special moments or experiences that occur at random times, yet remain for a lifetime. They are the moments that help you get in touch with (and understand) yourself at a level that goes deeper than just words. They help you get in touch with such things as inner peace, power and strength – the qualities that lay the foundation for the life and career choices you make. They change your life.

A woman owned business...


In order for this woman to find her special moment, I used Coaching techniques to help her. I asked her to close her eyes, go into her memories and think of a time, or several times, when time seemed to stop and when she was completely in the present moment; a time that changed her forever.


Women of Distinction By Judith A. Habert Photos by Lisa K.Miller

Adrienne Streeter


Making Printing an Art A woman in the printing industry is rare; a woman owning a age of 21 Adrienne ventured to San Diego and not long after printing company is even more unique. For Adrienne Streetgot married. She then started working for a printing company er, printing is in her blood. She grew up in the business. Her in San Diego. Soon after she was able to get her husband a parents owned a printing company and by the time she was job there too and he quickly learned to run a printing press. 14 she was helping out in the family business. Adrienne They were only making $6.00 an hour each and working obtained a degree in Commercial Art after high school and extremely hard. So when her Dad offered to loan them the worked at two San Diego Printing companies where she money to open their own business they took him up on the obtained additional experience prior to founding Streeter offer. Printing in 1980. Her knowledge and artistic sense are inAdrienne and her husband Jack started their business when strumental in producing consistent top quality printing. their youngest son Jonathan was only 6 months old. ThankWhen I first arrived at her office she took me on a tour of her fully her mother-in-law offered to take care of the baby so facility. Not only is it state of the art, but everyone seems to Adrienne could concentrate on the business. As a working Mom Adrienne often felt as if she wasn’t doing enough at home or at the office; a feeling so many working Moms must endure. When her second child, Rachel, was born she took a break and stayed at home for a year and a half. By the time her third child, Natalie, was born Adrienne knew she needed to balance caring for her children & business and luckily Nancy came into her life. Nancy was providing child care at a jazzercise class when they met. It was an instant friendship and Adrienne knew that this was the type of person that would be loving and nurturing to her children. Adrienne chose

genuinely enjoy their job. The break room is full of photos from a cruise that a majority of the staff attended. There are funny comments and smiling faces shining out from the photos. What she loves most about her job is the creative process and helping clients transition from concept to completion. With the printing business (being) primarily a male industry, I wondered if it was tough being a woman in the printing business. Adrienne smiled, admitting that she has often found that female clients seem to prefer to talk to male salespeople. “They seem to bypass me at trade shows and go right to the men at our booth.” When asked when she knew her business was a success she paused and told me she doesn’t think in those terms - even though she is listed among the top 50 woman owned businesses in San Diego. This attitude keeps Adrienne on her toes and always striving to be better; a quality that makes her very successful. As Adrienne notes, “I work as hard today as I did the day we opened our doors.” Her clients will tell you that if they want a quality product at a fair price - Streeter Printing is the place they go. to return to work part-time and Nancy came to work for the Streeter family on the days Adrienne went to the office. The printing industry is a tough business since profit margins are so low: the average profit margin is only 2 to 3%. At the July/August 2008

19 years later she is still with them. As Adrienne states, “Knowing that my children had a loving and nurturing caretaker made it easier to focus on work, and, Nancy also did our housekeeping. It was comforting knowing that my kids didn’t have to be warehoused, they had consistency. I would come home from work and I knew my kids were cared for, my house was clean and in order. When you are running a business this is so important. If you have to come home and maintain the home and spend your weekends doing this you become tired and cranky.” Her children are grown now. Jon, the oldest, is 29 and received his degree in Communication and Media Management. He now works in the family business full time and utilizes the skills he learned in college. Rachel, 25, is a hairstylist and champion equestrian. And Natalie, 19, is attending school for therapeutic massage and cosmetology. After so many successful years in the business Adrienne still has a distinct focus for Streeter Printing, “Since the busi-

ness is almost 30 years old we are at a point where it runs smoothly and I have a great staff. The goal for the company is to continually produce the printed product efficiently and on time and have it look great for the client. And we do that consistently!” When Adrienne and her husband were not working they previously spent some free time riding Jack’s Harley, but due to a serious accident that her husband had, Adrienne decided to stop riding - although her husband still rides. Her new passion is photography and like everything else that Adrienne does, she does this well. Her beautiful photos of Europe, from a recent trip, adorn a calendar that she hands out to her clients. Adrienne’s suggestions to women out there who might be thinking of starting their own business are simple, “Be genuine and passionate about what you do and don’t make your main focus money. Always treat your clients and employees just as you would want to be treated. The golden rule may be a cliche, but it works.”

Women of Distinction

Kate Grace

Enhancing the Physical Therapy Experience So a partnership developed and has been going strong since 1992.

July/August 2008

San Diego


The name Kate Grace is synonymous with Physical Therapy in San Diego. After meeting Kate and listening to her passion about what she does, I can understand why. It is immediately evident that Kate’s goal is to provide the best physical therapy experience to each and every one of her patients. Opened in 1985, Kate Grace Physical Therapy is located in the UTC area directly across from The Sporting Club. Kate’s interest in physical therapy came early and was due to a bad knee injury that she experienced at the age of 12. Eight major knee surgeries meant that Kate spent a lot of time in the hospital and around physical therapists. This led her to the decision that she wanted to become either a doctor or a physical therapist. Kate is a graduate of Kent State’s pre med program and Ohio State’s program for physical therapy. It was her residency that brought her to San Diego. Kate had visited San Diego and immediately fell in love with it. When an opportunity for a residency opened up in San Diego, she jumped at it. Her hope was that after her residency she could fall into a position and remain in a town that she loved. It was Children’s hospital that offered her a job. She worked at Children’s and Sharp Hospitals for five years and made the decision that she liked the idea of a smaller more intimate practice. After her time with Sharp Hospital she opened her own Physical Therapy private practice in Mission Valley. Soon after, she opened a second office between downtown and Hillcrest. And finally, her current office in La Jolla. Kate found that it was difficult to maintain three offices and deliver the type of service that she was dedicated to provide. Kate’s invaluable business partner is Annie Fonte, who is the business end of Kate Grace Physical Therapy. Ironically it was their Moms in Northern California that brought them together. Although Kate is an outstanding physical therapist she admits, “Little is taught to us in physical therapy school about running a business, luckily this is Annie’s specialty.”


Kate Grace is not just a physiKate is adamant about one very imporcal therapist, but an expert in tant element of her profession. Physipatellofemoral dysfunction(an cal therapy is predominantly viewed as injury that occurs at the articulaa treatment for an injury and a way to tion between the patella (kneerelieve pain. Kate is actively trying to cap) and the underlying femur.) Not only does Kate Grace change the image of physical therapy. As she notes, “We Physical Therapy offer outstanding rehabilitation they are would love to have people come to see us before they are in the forefront of technology with the development of the injured. We can help athletes improve their performance and OnTrack System. This is a unique, non-surgical method protect themselves against possible injury.” So how does for the management of this serious knee injury. Kate has Kate Grace Physical Therapy manage to initiate this change a special interest in patellofemoral dysfunction since she in image in the mind of her patients? “We hold clinics for has suffered with the problem since she was 12 years old. many different sports to help clients prevent injuries before Research has proven that OnTrack is the only system that they happen. We run classes for runners, analyzing the realigns the patella and can return the joint anatomy back position of their feet and their shoes. We offer Bike Fit clinics to normal. Kate is proud to say that she and her team have to be sure their client’s bikes are fitted properly to them to successfully resolved thousands of patient's knee problems. avoid unnecessary impact on their knees. We actually have Kate and her business partner Annie established OrthoRx in the attendees bring their bikes in and we make sure they 1995, a research and development, and orthopedic product are properly fit to the positioning of their bikes. We perform company. They focus on the design and implementation of extensive golf evaluations to make sure people have the needed products to help a wide variety of orthopedic chalright amount of flexibility and strength to perform the golf lenges. Two years later Kate and Annie felt the need to add swing. Golf is the hardest sport because in other sports, such an international medical education seminar company which they call OrthoEd. They have spent the last 10 years traveling throughout the United States and internationally, lecturing and teaching health professionals about an effective and research proven way to examine and treat patellofemoral dysfunction. They spent a lot of time teaching physical therapists and physicians how to diagnosis the problem and how to treat it. This is a problem with which many people are born. It is most common in female adolescents because the pelvis starts to widen and it can cause a “knock kneed” angle of the legs. The more angle, the more likely the knee cap will be displaced. Girls are not as (muscularly) strong at this age as boys. Often this is the time when girls are getting involved in high level sports as adolescents and in high school or possibly attempting to win an athletic scholarship to college. If the problem isn’t treated at this point, they could miss their golden opportunity. The way to tell if you are suffering from patellofemoral dysfunction is usually pain in or around the knee cap. Patients suffering as tennis or baseball, you are reacting to something, a ball from this affliction will find that it hurts more to go down steps coming towards you. But in golf you have to make everything then up, and, the pain becomes more pronounced when they happen. For example you need a lot of mobility in your hips are squatting or performing lateral movement. This is not a to properly perform the golf turn and if you don’t have that small problem or a unique medical condition. One out of four flexibility you use your back. The back isn’t made for this people have this problem and it is often misdiagnosed. Kate purpose, so we look at golfer’s posture alignment and teach Grace’s other passion, and a main specialty at her facilthem to correct this problem. We then put them on a program ity, is her Women’s Health Program. Their therapist, Sara to increase their flexibility and strength so they can properly Madigan, runs this program which deals with many issues perform the golf swing, without irritating their joints. We also that are specific to women. Kate Grace Physical Therapy work with PGA and LPGA teaching pros. For example, if you offers specialized treatment for women with incontinence and get a golf lesson and the pro wants you to get your arms in a pelvic floor dysfunction, as well as pre and post-natal care. certain position and you can’t do it due to a physical limitation Pregnancy can also lead to back pain, sacroiliac dysfunction, we work with you to help you accomplish this. In this way we separation of the abdominal muscles, and general weakare working with the athlete to avoid injury, which will often ness. At Kate’s facility their specially trained therapists will keep them from performing the sport for a long period of time. address the changes in postural alignment and use manual We would like to change the perception of physical therapy techniques, exercise, and modalities as needed to keep the from a place to go after you are injured to a place to go to muscles in proper alignment and length. help avoid injury.” July/August 2008

Women of Distinction


One of the issues that truly upsets Kate is that sometimes when a patient goes into a Physical therapy center for a specific problem, that singular difficulty is all the clinic will address. “If you come into our facility with a problem in your knee, we don’t just look at your knee, we analyze the entire person.” Kate believes strongly in the success rate of physical therapy “We see a patient for an hour or more. Some Physical Therapy centers see 4-6 people an hour. I can’t even say hello in five minutes. There are a lot of good Physical therapy centers out there. Physical therapy works. If it doesn’t, it means the patient has gone to the wrong place- not that the physical therapy itself didn’t work. It is the patient’s right to choose. They don’t have to go to the place that their doctor suggests they can go to whatever physical therapy center they want.” Their association with The Sporting Club is more than just their proximity; they offer many free services to club members including free injury screenings. They also offer free services to the community for injury prevention as well as

doctors out to play golf or to the ballgame, or to the bar for a drink.” Playing a round of golf would not be a problem for Kate who is a 0 handicap Golfer: proudly displayed in her waiting room is a certificate honoring her for a hole in one at The Bridges golf course on a par 4! However, Kate adds, “Although my male colleagues were able to invite the doctors out to play a round if I made a similar offer, their wives would not be happy. So that curtailed how I promoted my business.” Even without this method to help promote her business, Kate Grace has watched it grow tremendously over the years. She has had patients come for treatment because their doctor told them that Kate Grace Physical Therapy was the best. And often Kate doesn’t even know the doctor. So even though they may not personally know Kate they continually recommend her center knowing the miracles they can work with the patients sent their way. Kate jokes, “Often we will work with the patient and make them better and they will go back and thank their doctors.” Not a day goes by that Kate doesn’t have a patient tell her that prior to coming to their clinic they had no idea what physical therapy was all about. “Often they tell me that at the other facility all they did was put them on ice, put them on a machine and then send them home with a sheet of paper with exercises for them to do. Kate is not only a physical therapist, but she is also an orthopedic physician’s assistant and assists in surgery several days a week. So this gives Kate the unique opportunity to see a patient pre-operatively, inter-operatively, and post-operatively. This training and experience also gives her the ability to provide advice to patients as to whether or not they should have surgery. She has both the physical therapy and the surgical experience to be able to give her patients an objective opinion. She can tell them whether their problem can be resolved through the use of physical therapy alone or if surgery is warranted. “You can’t undo surgery, but you can always have surgery, so often I advise my clients to first try everything they can medical inservices to the Club’s personal trainers. before making the decision to go under the knife.” Kate Grace Physical Therapy also provides community Inspiration for Kate Grace came from her mom who always education programs free of charge as a way of giving back encouraged her to go after her dreams. She has also had to the community. Annie also helps to educate other physical several teachers in school that inspired her to be the best therapists on how to run a successful business. she could be, a philosophy she passes on to her physical Many patients come to KGPT after having received treattherapy interns. ment at another facility, but have not been completely cured. A question that I often ask successful women when I inThey often run into problems with insurance: Most insurance terview them is when did they feel they had succeeded? companies allow a set number of visits and then they stop Ironically, the answer from these women is almost always the paying for the treatment. “We don’t stop seeing patients same. Kate didn’t disappoint me. She responded by saying, because their insurance runs out. We do whatever we can to “I haven’t succeeded yet, but this year will be the best and help them with their financial situation.” most exciting year yet for our business.” Kate’s partner Annie When asked how being a woman in the field of physical was forced to step in and correct her on this statement. She therapy has impacted her. Kate feels it has not really been a reminded Kate of what she has always preached to her staff, problem. “The only area that it showed up a bit was initially Annie adds, “Every day is a success for Kate, and for all of us when I first started my practice. One of the key things that at Kate Grace Physical Therapy. And the reason is simple, you need to do is get to know the local doctors and let them Kate has always said that any day that you learn something get to know your capabilities so that they will recommend is a successful day and we all continue to grow and learn their patients to you. My male colleagues often would take here every day.” July/August 2008

San Diego


Women of Distinction


Women of Distinction


Toni Kraft

Enjoying her Little Bit of Heaven

Owning a restaurant such as Café Merlot has been a dream due to inclement Chicago weather she would clean houses, of Toni Kraft’s since the age of 13. Born and raised in Chifactories, and truck stops. Toni worked 7 days a week doing cago, her parents divorced when she was 12. Her father whatever she could to support her children. As she admits, had essentially been the meal planner and coordinator of “We grew up together, since I was quite young at the time all events at her home. Once he was out of the picture the and they helped me in the business. We schlepped food task fell on Toni’s shoulders . She found that she had a love through the snow and rain in Chicago. The girls were young not only for cooking, but for entertaining, planning events, but still they helped out. They checked coats and put lemon and doing promotions. While others were playing hopscotch wedges on water glasses.” Toni remembers those days and Toni was trying to perfect a meatloaf recipe. She started sadly recalls, “There was no real support system for women planning events for her neighborhood, such as Christmas in those days. It was the mid 80’s women were not typically in July, where she would invite four neighborhood blocks to women supporters. Women were not quite comfortable participate. It was a suburb in south Chicago and there was being in the boardroom at this time. I was the only minority a predominance of firemen and women owned catering business policeman among her neighbors. in Chicago at the time. So I got It was also a melting pot of ethnic calls to bid for a lot of business, groups including Polish, Lithuanian, but I didn’t get a lot of the jobs. Hungarian, and Sicilian, so everyBeing I was a minority owned and one would bring an ethnic dish to licensed business it was often a share. lesson in futility.” This wasn’t Toni’s first choice for a It was at this point that Toni realcareer. Her first desire was to be ized that she had to tone down a psychologist. She took college her work schedule since her classes in all facets of psycholgirls were getting older and she ogy, but in order to help put herself needed to be more of a presthrough school she found herself ence in their lives. She sold off picking up jobs as a waitress or her business and went to look cook, or even designing menus for for work in corporate America. local restaurants. After finishing “I worked for a company called school, Toni met her husband and Canteen Vending, a corporate had two beautiful little girls. Toni catering foodservice job. When began running a program called Canteen Vending was sold to TW “Serves You Right” a median step services I then had the luxury to individuals attempting to get into of being trained by people that the “Meals on Wheels” program. worked for Denny’s, Hardy’s, and “Serves You Right,” later became a El Pollo Loco. I was, at the time, full scale catering company. the only woman district manager Toni found that she was now spendin all of the Midwest. I was not ing all of her time cooking for others. invited to a lot of meetings. I was Leftovers from the events would be not invited to attend sales calls. dinner for her family. The business When we met at meetings they kept her so busy that it took three would all go out to dinner afterdays for her to realize her husband wards, but I was not included.” At had left her (Her children had been the time they chalked it up to the on a vacation with her sister). When fact that Toni was a single parent she realized this fact it dawned on and she just needed to go home her that perhaps she had been too engrossed and maybe and be with her kids. As a result Toni ended up befriending a she needed to slow down a bit, but it was too little too late. lot of her female clients who were women business owners. She was now a single mom and Toni did what she refers to They took her under their wing and provided insight on how as the three C’s, catering, cleaning, and clowning. Toni ento get along in a man’s world. They told her that she had rolled in a professional clown course so that she could hone to be tough, if she was to fit in. The company was sold off her craft and find work at events and festivals. She loved it, shortly thereafter, so Toni was back doing what she had done and did so well at being a clown that she ended up teaching previously to make ends meet. classes in clowning for 7 years and was the president of the She was soon hired by The Compass Group which is now West Suburban Clown Club. She also designed a clown club the largest food service company in the country. They placed with the Clowns of America. her in their “Eurest” division (which was short for Toni decided to fall back on what she knew, so she refoEuropean Restaurants). cused on her catering business. When she couldn’t cater July/August 2008

She trained in Europe and learned to shop and prepare food the European way; shopping daily for fresh food and herbs to create magnificent meals. Soon she transferred to the marketing department for the European Restaurants division. She then met her current husband, who worked for the same company in a different division. Toni claims the attraction was that “I always smelled like food, so he would follow me around until he finally asked me out” Toni always had a desire to own her own restaurant and she also loved the event planning side of the business. Over the years she had handled everything from corporate picnics for 50,000 to intimate luxury dinners for 6 corporate executives. It was at this point that Toni’s new husband got a promotion and they were relocated to Madison, Wisconsin. The Compass Group did not want to transfer her so she made a decision (after 12 years with them) to leave the company and follow her husband to Wisconsin. She then ventured into Non Profits and worked at the Madison Convention and

Fund, Microsoft, and Disney. She had helped these clients design their corporate kitchens and when you do that it is a very intimate relationship . This made her realize one important fact that has stayed with her, “You are only as good as the people you surround yourself with.” Through her job with the Poway Chamber she ended up doing events at the Bernardo Winery and fell in love with it. She told her husband that she wanted to open a little shop at the winery. She fell in love with the Sicilian owners since it was her heritage as well and they reminded her of her family. She inquired as to the availability of shops in the winery. They told her there were none, but it looked as if Café Merlot would shortly be up for sale. She was on her way to a meeting and got so excited at the prospect of buying this little oasis, her legs started shaking and she had to pull over to the side of the road. She called her husband and told him that she was buying Café Merlot. Toni realized it was finally time to put Toni first. So many sacrifices and struggles had been endured over the years, but as she says, “They weren’t sacrifices at the time, they were just what needed to be done.” She was ready to do something that she wanted. Her daughters were both grown and phenomenal women. (One of her daughters is a firefighter and the other works with her in a health and wellness company, a second business that Toni owns with her daughter) It took three months for Toni to convince the current owner to sell Café Merlot to her. Her dream was finally coming true. She would own her dream restaurant. She now puts many hours into running Café Merlot, but says “When you love what you do, you never will work another day in your life… you just don’t think of it as work.” Her psychology background has come in handy while running her business, she is definitely in tune with her employees needs and desires. Elizabeth, one of Toni’s long-term employees and biggest fans can’t help but gush about her boss, “I have never worked for anyone as wonderful as Toni, she is always there to help anyone in need. You couldn’t ask for a better boss.” Toni is a firm believer in not asking her employees to do anything that she wouldn’t do herself. She is hands on, knowing how to work every aspect of her business. She has always believed that to succeed you have to know everything about your business -from the bottom up. One of Toni’s specialties is designing kitchens and she has done it for some of the top firms across the country. One of her clients was John Nuveen, the premier municipal bond house in Chicago. Lee Iococa was their biggest client. The boardroom held 24 people and she was preparing the room for a luncheon for the top executives when she noticed a chunk of meat or grizzle that ended up on the floor of the boardroom from an earlier function. She quickly picked it up in her hand when she spotted the CEO of the company entering the board room with Lee Iacoca. Dressed in her chef coat and apron she assumed she would blend into the background and no one would notice her.

San Diego


Women of Distinction

Visitor’s Bureau selling events for them. Toni loved Madison and loved her new job. She learned Tourism and then went back to school and earned her Bachelor’s Degree in hospitality and hotel management. One day she received a call from her daughter, who lives in San Diego, telling Toni that she wanted to buy a franchise and she wanted her Mom as her partner. Toni’s husband wanted to relocate to San Diego, but Toni wasn’t so sure. They eventually bought “The Little Gym” with the plan being that they would live part of the year in San Diego and part in Madison Wisconsin. They then decided to relocate to San Diego full time. She called the Compass Group after 8 years and they hired her right back to handle the Western States. She worked there for a year when her daughter once again called and told Toni about a job at the Poway Chamber of Commerce, two blocks away from their business. Toni interviewed and got the job, although she kept in touch with a lot of her high powered clients like Geico, Sony, Intuit, Firemen’s

July/August 2008


That wasn’t the case. Instead , the CEO, Mr. Frankie, called Toni over and said; “I have someone I’d like you to meet.” In the excitement of the moment Toni extended her hand, grizzle and all, and shook Lee Iacocca’s hand. He looked down and said “Oh…” and ended up being gracious about the event. “Over the years I have run into him often…but he has been careful not to shake my hand ever since that occured." Café Merlot is Toni’s baby and she takes great pride in its ownership. It is nestled away in a beautiful corner of the Bernardo Winery in Rancho Bernardo California. It is open Tuesday through Sunday for breakfast and lunch only. They are also known for the wonderful offsite catering they do for local companies and events. Café Merlot is currently in the process of becoming certified ’Green’ from the California Green Restaurant Association.

All chemicals, lighting and heating for the restaurant are environmentally sound and they even save water by not putting any out on the table, unless specifically requested by their customers. It is more expensive to be ’Green,’ but in Toni’s opinion well worth the cost to do her part in helping to protect our natural resources. The menu at Café Merlot is a healthy fare, with no breaded or fried items on their menu. They hand trim their meat and everything except the bread is created from scratch on the premises. They even offer cooking classes the second and last Tuesday of every month. When Toni is asked how she feels about running a restaurant. She explains, “It’s been like a roller coaster ride.You know how you go on a ride and you get that feeling in the pit of your stomach. I get it on a daily basis, but I love it and wouldn’t want it any other way.”

Women of Distinction

Amanda McPhail The View From The Top The top floor of the Diamond View Towers provides a spectacular view. One side overlooks Petco Park , and the other provides a view of the entire skyline of San Diego. It is truly a view to behold. Amanda McPhail is lucky enough to call this her oasis. High above the ball park, Amanda helps create wonderful events using one of the greatest venues in San Diego.

46 Amanda, a

special events consultant, is the coordinator for all functions at this facility in San Diego. She has held this position for the past year and still finds it hard to believe that she has been given this opportunity. Amanda was born in North Carolina and moved to Coronado with her family as a child. She began work in the service industry at the age of 14 at Peohe’s Restaurant in Coronado. She bused tables and worked as a hostess. She continued working in restaurants to help support herself through school. During school she started working for a prominent wedding consultant who was based out of Coronado. It was this experience that led her to an important decision - one that would change her life. Amanda realized

that she too could create such a company. So she took control and started her own firm, “Creative Affairs by Amanda.” At first it was a challenge; she was only 26 and found that it was difficult for people to take her seriously. She started working with smaller companies as well as planning weddings to build her business. Amanda thanks her hometown of Coronado for pushing her business to the next level. “Everyone in this town has taken me under their wing and I would not be who I am today or where I am today without each and every one of them.” One of the most exciting experiences took place after Amanda’s business really started to grow. “I got a phone call from one of the managers of The Diamond View Towers. A few mutual acquaintances had recommended me to the management. They were looking to hire an event coordinator for The Ultimate Skybox. I was asked to come in for an interview.” Amanda went on the interview and won them over. Being her own boss had major appeal to Amanda, but this was an opportunity that she just couldn’t turn down. “It was a win win situation for both of us. I could plan the events at Diamond View and still maintain my own business, Creative Affairs. They liked the idea and so did I. So that’s how I came to my position.”

July/August 2008

Amanda loves her job and the freedom it gives her to dedicate to various charities. One of her favorite charities is Camp Wamp, a summer camp for disabled children. Amanda is also involved with the Coronado Schools Foundation, The Coronado Chamber of Commerce, and the Children’s Heritage Foundation, just to name a few. Amanda loves hosting events that help raise money for these, and other important charities and non-profits.

Women of Distinction

Amanda’s career has recently taken her to some exotic locations: She just returned from a ‘destination wedding’ that she planned in Tahiti and will be traveling to New York City working a corporate product launch. Amanda and her husband, Chris, have been together for ten years. They both own their own businesses and this makes for some hectic schedules. Even though time together is tough to come by, it is obvious that they have managed to make it work for them. Amanda brags about her husband, “My husband Chris is the best guy and I don’t know what I would do without him”. He recently accompanied her to

San Diego


Amanda’s schedule is a hectic one: She currently has 90 events in the planning stages. I asked her how she manages to keep so many events straight. She admits that it isn’t always easy, but she has some help in the actual execution of the events. The key is having a system. Amanda,

contacts. You never know who you will meet.”


however, is involved in every event from start to finish. It is obvious that she is a bit of a perfectionist and closely plans every element of the events she manages. It is as common to find Amanda greeting guests as it is to see her sweeping up. As Amanda states, “Every piece of the puzzle is important in making an event run flawlessly. This includes everything from the event planning, to the servers, to how well the kitchen staff is performing. If the floor needs to be scrubbed, I will scrub it. No one is too good to do anything that needs to be done. It takes a team to run an event and if everyone is not on board then it can be very obvious.”

the destination wedding in Tahiti where they made a pact to leave their cell phones behind.

One of the factors that Amanda notes as a key to success in her business is her extensive service background. “I think everyone should work in a restaurant at some point in their life. As a waitress you are walking up to a group of strangers every 30 minutes or so. You learn to be outgoing and friendly. It teaches you team work, which is extremely important in any future career. You also make some incredible

Once you have spent time with Amanda it is evident that she is an amazing young lady with a passion for giving back to her community and providing each and every client with a positive experience while in her care. As Amanda stands on the balcony of the Diamond View Towers overlooking the City of San Diego she can’t help but be thankful for her view from the top.

Although Amanda adores Chris she proudly states that she has always prided herself on being financially independent and believes that all women need to be. Amanda knew at an early age that she would not depend on a single sole at any point in her life. She also believes that Education is essential. “Even if you are not working within your field of study, education is so important. It is something that no one can ever take away from you.”

July/August 2008




July/August Community Events July/August Community Events July/August Commu Compiled by Ashlee Ryan July 1-September 28 Shakespeare’s All's Well That Ends Well Old Globe theatre Price $42-$62 July 4, 2008 – 12:00 pm Julian 4th of July Parade Enjoy a small town parade nestled in San Diego's apple country. Off California State Routes 78 and 79 San Diego County, CA July 11 – July 13, 2008 Festival of the Bells at Mission San Diego de Alcala Old Town, free Come and help celebrate the founding of Mission San Diego de Alcala, California’s first Mission. http://www.missionsandiego. com/


July 12, 2008; Reception = 5:30-7:00pm ; Dinner, Awards and Dancing: 7:00 pm 10:30 pm 62nd Annual Flag, General, & Senior Officers Ball San Diego Marriott Hotel & Marina 333 West Harbor Drive, San Diego CA 92101 Price $150 Per Person / $250 Per Couple; event is open to the public. The San Diego Regional Chamber of Commerce inaugurated the Flag, General and Senior Officers Ball in 1946 to honor our service members returning home from World War II. This gala black tie affair is a premier opportunity for businesses, individuals and stakeholders to stand up and honor our region’s brave and competent military leaders for all that they do for our region and our nation. With a tradition over 60 years strong, the Ball will once again be the military social event of the year in San Diego. Fine cuisine, outstanding entertainment & dancing, coupled with ceremony will surely make this an unforgettable evening. Saturday, July 19, 2008 - 11:00am 34th Annual Pride Parade Parade route: Rainbow Mile - University Ave between Normal St. and 6th down to Ivy Lane., Downtown San Diego With over 200 floats and contingents the San Diego LGBT Pride parade is the largest civic event in San Diego. July 19, 2008 Family Day: Sharks, Living Legends Birch Aquarium Price Included with Admission Discover how sharks have been able to survive on this planet for more than 400 million years. Enhance your knowledge of these living legends and their amazing adaptations through hands-on family activities, live shark encounters and interactions with Scripps scientists. Learn about the sharks that live in San Diego waters and the threats that face sharks in the world’s oceans.

July 19, 2008 Free Light Bulb Exchange Birch Aquarium, 11am-3pm, outside aquarium entrance San Diego County residents can exchange up to five 75-watt or higher incandescent light bulbs and/or up to two halogen torchiere lamps (bring entire fixture) for compact fluorescent lights — a combined savings of more than $100 — while supplies last. The new models use 75 percent less energy than regular incandescent bulbs, create 75 percent less heat and last 10 times as long. Also, bring expired compact fluorescent bulbs to the event for proper disposal. Participants must a bring a copy of their current San Diego Gas & Electric utility bill and/or a California ID to prove San Diego County residency. Wed, July 23: 10am – Noon Carlsbad Premium Outlets Tot-A-Doodle-Do! Teaches children life lessons including manners, teamwork, acceptance, social interaction, tolerance, healthy eating and respect in a fun, interactive way that stimulates the 5 developmental skills. The Tot crew will be on hand for a live performance, dancing, games, and make a musical instrument to take home. Recommended for ages 2+. First come, first serve. Part of the Kids' Play Summer Series.

July/August 2008




ommunity Events July/August Community Events July/August Community Events bring expired compact fluorescent bulbs to the event for proper disposal. Participants must a bring a copy of their current San Diego Gas & Electric utility bill and/or a California ID to prove San Diego County residency.

The garden courtyard at the Bazaar del Mundo – now at the corner of Juan and Taylor Streets in Old Town – will be overflowing with artisans from Chihuahua, Mexico, creating eye-popping Mata Ortiz pottery, a centuries-old art form renowned for its hand-painted geometric and ancestral symbols. Wed, Aug 6: 10am - 11am MUSEUM OF MAKING MUSIC - LET’S MAKE SOME NOISE! Carlsbad Premium Outlets Everyone will enjoy participating in this fun program presented by the Museum of Making Music. All ages welcome! Part of the Kids' Play Summer Series. August, 10, 2008 Annual Hillcrest Cityfest Street Fair Phone Number: 619-299-3330 Hillcrest, San Diego, CA Arts, crafts, food and entertainment along Fifth Avenue in Hillcrest. Shuttle service available. August 16, 2008 Free Light Bulb Exchange Birch Aquarium, 11am-3pm, outside aquarium entrance San Diego County residents can exchange up to five 75-watt or higher incandescent light bulbs and/or up to two halogen torchiere lamps (bring entire fixture) for compact fluorescent lights — a combined savings of more than $100 — while supplies last. The new models use 75 percent less energy than regular incandescent bulbs, create 75 percent less heat and last 10 times as long. Also,

San Diego

August 1 – August 3, 2008 The 9th annual Latin American Festival and Mata Ortiz Pottery Bazaar del Mundo Shops in Old Town San Diego

Wed, Aug 20: 10am - Noon KID HIP PERSONALIZED MUSIC … LIVE!!! Carlsbad Premium Outlets Kid Hip Personalized Music will be here for a morning of live music and fun activities. Kid Hip CD’s feature personalized music for just about every name imaginable. Children will be encouraged to interact and sing along to the fun and educational songs. Recommended for ages 2+. Part of the Kids' Play Summer Series.


August 17, 2008; 5K = 6:45 am; half marathon = 7:00 am America's Finest City Half Marathon $25 to $80 760.692.2900 Cabrillo National Monument to Balboa Park San Diego, CA E-mail: info@afchalf.com The Half Marathon begins at historic Cabrillo National Monument, with its majestic view of both San Diego Bay and the Pacific Ocean, follows scenic San Diego Bay and Harbor Island along the Embarcadero to The Star of India, winds through downtown San Diego, and ends in beautiful Balboa Park. NO day of race registration; Limit of 7,750 (half marathon) and 1,500 (5K) http://www.afchalf.com/

August 20 – August 24, 2008 Festival of Sail 2008 Embarcadero $ 20 Adults - $15 Sr./Active Mil/Child- <5 yrs FREE More than twenty tall ships and other fascinating vessels from around the world are scheduled to appear at the 2008 Festival of Sail hosted by the Maritime Museum of San Diego. The festival kicks off with a majestic parade of tall ships on San Diego Bay on Wednesday, August 20. Festival of Sail will stretch along Harbor Drive on the embarcadero in downtown San Diego. Ships from several different countries will give the festival an international flavor. Sure to be a favorite, the United States Coast Guard's tall ship Eagle will make her first visit to San Diego since 1999. Several tall ships will fight in cannon battles on San Diego Bay-Friday through Sunday. Souvenir passports are a visitor's ticket to board the ships. Stamped by each ship open for tours, passports become treasured keepsakes. Passport holders will also enjoy free entertainment. Visitors to the festival can sample marvelous food and drink and shop for one of-a-kind items among the hundreds of festival vendors Wed, Aug 27: 10am - 11am "MEET & GREET THE SEA" WITH THE BIRCH AQUARIUM AT SCRIPPS Carlsbad Premium Outlets “T” is for Tide Pool will be the theme for this fun and interactive event. Join the Birch Aquarium at Scripps for a hands-on educational look at these creatures of the sea. Recommended for ages 3+, and space is limited to 45 participants, first come, first serve. Part of the Kids' Play Summer Series.

July/August 2008


The Quick Lift


ˊ ˊ It is one thing for a doctor to tell you how wonderful a proceanesthesia as an outpatient procedure. For those of us who dure is, but nothing reassures a patient more than knowing fear anesthesia this is a very inviting benefit of the quick lift. that their doctor performed the same procedure on his own There is an anesthesiologist on site to relax the patient and Mom. I have to admit, that is a particularly brave move, to administer the local anesthesia to numb the area for surbecause gery, but you we all know do not have how “Moms” to be put can be. Dr. under for this Chasan‘s 1 ½ hour long Mom was procedure. extremely A traditional happy with facelift will the results, generally as have last for 8-10 been all of years, so the the patients quick lift is a who expehelpful tool rienced this to those who new procehave had a dure: The face lift and Quick Lift. are coming The quick up on the lift is a mini time for a face lift for second lift. patients who Instead of are looking going through for facial the entire rejuvenation procedure( if but don’t there is not quite need a full face lift. too much lower face work The typical patient is in needed) the same results can their late forties or early be obtained with a quick lift. fifties with minimal work But how long will the quick needed on the lower lift last? Generally 6-8 years, face; specifically the so it is a great choice with neck and jowls. If this long lasting results, a less is the case the quick lift radical surgery, and quicker is a much better option recuperation time. If you are than a traditional face considering a face lift have a lift. The cost for this consultation before making procedure is about 2/3 that decision. As Dr. Chasan the price of a full face says, “Our evaluation procelife and it takes half as dure is imperative to deterlong. The recuperation mine whether a quick lift or period is half the time a full face lift is necessary. It of a traditional face lift. is a judgment call which has The results are truly much to do with the quality of amazing as evidenced the patient’s skin, the amount by the pictures displayed. My question to Dr. Chasan was of neck and jowl work needed, and the results that the how soon after the procedure would you feel like going out patient hopes to obtain.” Currently the amount of quick lifts and partying. Dr. Chasan explained, “ In a traditional facelift versus full face lifts is about 50/50. The procedure, though I tell my patients that they will feel better in one week and relatively new, is taking the country by storm and is truly a look better in two. With a quick lift you feel good in three way to refresh without looking like you had major work done. days and look good in five days. “One of the other huge For more information on the quick lift visit Dr Chasan’s webbenefits of the quick lift is that it can be done under local site at www.drchasan.com July/August 2008

San Diego



July/August 2008


“I wasn’t happy with the appearance of my nose. My research lead me to Dr. Paul Chasan. I had a wonderful experience and would recommend him to anyone. Thank you Dr. Chasan!”

Bobbi F. 31; medical sales

“I wanted to go to the best.”

THE FINEST IN COSMETIC SURGERY “I’m obsessed with evaluating new technologies. In every aspect of what I do, I strive to be the best for my patients.”

Paul E. Chasan, MD, FACS Certified, American Board of Plastic Surgeons

1-877-CHASAN1 • La Jolla www.drchasan.com

Millions discover their favorite reads on issuu every month.

Give your content the digital home it deserves. Get it to any device in seconds.