San Diego Woman

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Woman San Diego

Informing, Entertaining, and Featuring the Women of San Diego

Pat Brown

San Diego's Weather Anchor How to Pick a Financial Planner We Honor Veterans Help for Troubled Teens

Aug/Sept 2011


Judith Jones-Cone is the president of three of the largest and most prestigious car dealerships in San Diego. She owns Toyota Carlsbad and Lexus Carlsbad as well as her Escondido Lexus dealership. The Lexus Center is the largest dealership in San Diego at 300,000 square feet. It contains two meeting rooms, a top floor deck for weddings, conferences, and special events, a cyber café, and a business center. There is also a golf simulator to help pass the time for customers getting their car serviced, a library and children’s play area, and a second floor with 5,000 square feet of retail space. San Diego restaurateurs David and Lesley Cohn have recently signed a 10-year lease with Lexus Escondido to open their newest restaurant on the dealership's third floor in February. It will seat 200 customers and will occupy 10,000 square feet. It took an innovative forward thinking woman to accomplish such a goal, which is only one of many great qualities that Judith possesses. In a business that has recently seen tough times, Judith has realized that there should be more to selling a car than just the sales experience. She works to enhance the ownership of the vehicle in addition to the sales experience. Being a woman in a primarily male industry is not always easy and it took Judith some time to believe she belonged. Judith admits, “As a woman, I had to overcome my own personal fears that I didn’t belong in this industry, nor did I have the skills to bring success to my organization.” One has to wonder what drives a woman to work in such a competitive, testosterone driven business. We found out that Judith did not plan to be in this industry. She explains how her fate was sealed, “I am not sure I picked the automotive business. I believe the field narrowed down to me. My college senior class project was to create an advertising campaign for Toyota Motor Sales, Inc. The company made a grant to many colleges to create a competition to award money to the college with the best campaign. I, then took that campaign to a San Diego advertising agency seeking employment. I was hired. Lou Jones, Founder of Toyota Carlsbad and Lexus Carlsbad, later hired me to manage the advertising programs for his automotive agencies. We formed Try “J” Advertising, Inc. We fell in love and got married. He entrusted me with the automotive agencies upon his death.” Judith is very grateful for her many dedicated employees and takes very seriously the position she holds. As she notes, “There are many things I enjoy about the automotive business. It provides transportation representing the second largest purchase most people make, with their home being the largest. Therefore, this industry needs to focus on its clients’ care and

A deeply religious and spiritual woman, Judith has found a balance between business and spiritual growth. “I believe networking is important. I have groups I support and attend for spiritual growth and business learning. Daily Disciples, founded by Tonilee Adamson and Bobbye Brooks, has undergirded me with knowledge and strength from their Bible studies over the last few years. I also have attended Lexus Leader groups consisting of other dealers from around the world as well as Toyota Twenty Groups. These contacts have provided encouragement through difficult times. We all have shared challenges and can, as a result, share the solutions. Owners need to be with other owners to give and receive at a level that is meaningful.” Judith strives to empower her leaders to perform well not only in the day-to-day functions of an automotive dealership, but also in issues outside of our vocation that speak to faith, character, ethics, integrity, and caring for their guests and associates. With a Bachelor’s degree in Journalism/Advertising and a Certificate in Public Relations from The Louisiana State University School of Journalism, and completion of The General Manager Program of the National Automobile Dealer Academy in 1997, Judith understands the unique skill set needed to promote and grow her business. “Even though I never advanced through the ranks to receive this position, I have spent over 30 years with these automotive agencies ensuring their stability, providing the necessary tools to get the job done, acquiring property for expansion, and building new ways to improve sales, service and delivery of our product. But, most importantly, it is the building of relationships that support the management team at all three automotive agencies that I worked hardest on” The success and well deserved respect that Judith has garnered, not only among her employees but also her peers, shows that a woman can achieve whatever she sets out to achieve. “The success anyone sees in Toyota Carlsbad, Lexus Carlsbad and Lexus Escondido comes from the stewardship of many talented persons over the resources gifted to me by God.”

San Diego

The images of a waving American flag, children’s smiling faces, and beautiful landscapes are clearly visible as you drive south along the I5 freeway from Escondido to downtown San Diego. For those of us who are locals, we know that these images are a somewhat new addition, thanks to the huge 48’x 27’ LED Lexus Digital Screen, which was erected along with the Super Luxury Lexus Dealership in Escondido in December of 2009. What most of us do not know is that this dealership is woman owned.

When asked what advice she would give for young women starting out in business today she responds, “What is important for young women to know today is that the world expects you to do it all…family and work. This is tough. If young women elect to have children and have a career, they need to make sure they have a husband that allows them to invest personal time at work and home. Their husband needs to fill in when they are not able to meet the needs of their children. Having children is such a blessing. But it’s important to remember to structure your situation so that you and your husband have primary influence in your children’s lives.”


Judith Jones-Cone

safety to a huge degree. I enjoy the level of care my associates provide to ensure our clients’ peace of mind, and gain their loyalty and trust.”

For Judith it isn’t only about work. Her philanthropic nature abounds and she finds much joy in helping to provide children a healthy and loving environment in which to grow. She especially feels the need to help those who cannot defend themselves from war, famine, abuse and disease. She is a strong advocate of healthy youth groups and after school activities to keep children focused on positive goals and help them avoid taking negative paths. Her dealerships have supported many organizations with similar goals. Judith adds, “We have supported the Boys and Girls Club of Carlsbad for many years. We just made a donation to their second largest fundraising event: The Annual Bocce Ball Tournament. The Armed Services YMCA of the USA (Camp Pendleton) is especially important to us. We are supporting their Pre-school program. Casa de Amparo, the home for abused children, has received support from us for many years as well. We are building a relationship with The Escondido Library Literacy Program to support family literacy which helps parents read to their children so the family can learn English together.” One of the elements to Judith’s success is understanding that in order to make a difference you have to be willing to make mistakes. She closed with the following words of wisdom, “Mistakes can lead you to a better place of understanding and growth, especially if it results in permanently correcting the mistake so it never happens again. We should all take more risks. We should never give up striving for betterment in ourselves and for others.” Judith Jones-Cone has definitely proven that all things are possible if you are willing to work hard, have faith, and treat those around you with respect, kindness, patience and love.


Dear Readers, Summer is back and we are all enjoying the lazy and crazy days at the beaches, parks, concerts, or just barbequing in our own backyards. We have a lot of exciting news, including the creation of our new blog found on our website at Visit and share your thoughts and concerns. We love to hear from our readers. In the next few weeks we will be implementing partnerships which will greatly enhance our publication. One is with a great local organization which focuses on the needs of women. Also coming soon is our connection with which will enhance our website. Keep up to date with all of our latest changes by subscribing to our bi-weekly digital newsletter. Contact me at to join today. This issue is packed full of informative and entertaining articles. We are so happy to have Pat Brown back on 10News and even happier to have her on our cover. One of our very favorite people in San Diego, and our esteemed columnist, Carol LeBeau, penned the article about her good friend, Pat. I know you will enjoy reading her story. For those gardeners out there pay a visit to our gardening section to see the beauty of a local Garden Designer’s backyard garden and learn her hints on how to attract the beauty of nature to your own backyard. For some personal beauty, check out our Fashion section featuring, Babykakes, a young designer’s unique creations. Money is on all of our minds these days. Have you been thinking about hiring a financial planner? Do you know how to decide which one to choose? Read our report on finding the right planner to meet your financial needs. On a more personal note, is your teen giving you trouble and you are just not sure where to turn. Take a few moments to read a resident experts article on helping your teen share his or her problems. it’s the seniors in your life who are of concern read how an innovative program helps allow seniors to stay at 4 Ifhome instead of having to move into assisted living facilities. We are also proud to share the story of a woman owned local company that is helping our Veterans receive the respect and dignity they deserve.

Once again thank you for reading San Diego Woman. We love to hear from our readers, so please stop by our blog or email me at

Sincerely, Judith A. Habert

Judith A. Habert


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San Diego Woman 254 E Grand Avenue, Suite 201 Escondido, CA 92025 760.738.8700 Disclaimer: Products, services, practices, websites or informational packets mentioned within our pages are in no way an endorsement by San Diego Woman, but are provided to our readers for informational purposes only. Privacy Advisory: Personal information provided by our readers will be used solely for the purposes of providing requested information and will not be shared.

Cover : Photograph: by Lisa K. Miller

Graphics/Magazine Layout: Sonali Soni

Aug/Sept 2011 Page 3

Janice Brown Founder of Brown Law Group Tells Her story.

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How Do Women Choose a Financial Planner? Who Do They Trust?

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All About Hope, Dignity & Independence Helping Seniors Maintain their Independence.

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Pat Brown San Diego’s Favorite Weather Anchor.

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In The Garden Gardening Special Feature.

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Monarchs in The Garden How to Attract Butterflies to Your Garden.

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Success in a Challenging Real Estate Market Learn How to Prosper in Tough Times.

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Looking Beautiful Longer Dr. Melanie Palm

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Help For Teens in San Diego Beyond Normal Adolescent Rebellion.

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Investor’s Corner Keeping your Professional in Check.

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Tape Bubbles Dealing with Tough Neighbors.

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Allison Maslan Helping Turn Dreams Into Reality.

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Generation Gap: Counterpoint Mom and Daughter Speak Out.

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BabyKakes Designs by Kimberly Souliere.

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Lighten Up How to Get Rid of Dark Circles.

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Don’t Go It Alone SDW Teams up With

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We Honor Vetrans Giving Vetrans the Dignity They Deserve.

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Creating Precious Heirlooms A Diamond Lasts Forever.

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In every Issue Letter from the Editor

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Letters to the Editor

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Transitions…With Carol LeBeau Don’t Forget to Eat Your Breakfast.

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Poetry Corner

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Happy Catfish Month Can You Really Create Your Own National Holiday?

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Ask An Angel Do We Get Happier with Age?

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He Said, She Said What Do Women Want?

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Women’s Work Handling Conflict in the Workplace.

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Bitchin & Moaning The Crazy Days of San Diego Summer.

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Fabulous Finds Editors pick their favorites.

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Ask Dr. Sudi Protect your Children from HPV.

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Where is San Diego Woman? Our Newest Locations.

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San Diego

Judith Jones-Cone Challenging the Face of the Automotive Industry.





6 Sonali Soni

Creative Director

Woman San Diego

San Diego

Judith A. Habert


Behind the Pages

Judith A. Habert Publisher/Editor-in-Chief

Sonali Soni Creative Director

Robert Tussey Copy Editing

Lisa K. Miller Photographer

Jaime V. Habert

Entertainment /Fashion Editor

Norma-Jeanne Sewell Advertising Account Executive

Marcie Peters

Advertising Account Executive

Kim Robeson

254 E Grand Avenue, Suite 201 Escondido, CA 92025



Taryn Bates

Graphics/Magazine Layout: Sonali Soni


Robert has been a published writer for over thirty years and has been providing editing services for the past twenty-five. As a musician he has written scores of songs. His life has revolved around his music and writing, often melding the two into articles and interviews.

Rob Weinberg

Rob is president of The MarketBuilding Team, has written two books on marketing, and authors a free marketing advice column called Ask Mr. Marketing. You can subscribe to his free marketing newsletter at www.

Kim Robeson

Carol LeBeau Carol LeBeau spent close to 30 years as a beloved fixture on San Diego News. Today she is enjoying her retirement, as well as a second career as an in demand speaker at functions throughout San Diego. In addition to her many speaking engagements, Carol is a columnist for San Diego Woman speaking about life after her news career.

Kim has been teaching English for almost twenty years, first in Athens, Greece; then in the San Diego Community College system and most recently in Lima, Peru where she returned after six years with her husband and three bulldogs. She has a Master’s Degree in Comparative Literature from San Diego State University and is currently working on her first novel

Jennifer Foultz Jennifer is a published poet and freelance writer. Her love of literature lead her to the high school classroom and she is now going into her ninth year of teaching. She has earned a BA in English Literature from San Francisco State University and a MA in Education from UoP.

Photography by Lisa K Lisa is the owner of Photography by Lisa K, a custom portrait studio located in Rancho Penasquitos, specializing in the highest quality portraiture. As the mother of twins, Lisa shines at capturing moments in pregnancy and early life. She shares her talents with many local charities by volunteering her photographic services.

Joanna Pompilio has written professionally since 1999 and is a regular contributor to various women’s service Shelli Chosak, Ph.D. magazines Shelli has been active in across the the field of Organizational country. ReguJoanna Pompilio Consulting and Psychotherapy for the past 25 years, and lar features include topics ranging from fashion, beauty, health and fitness, and holds a Ph.D. in Organizahome decor. She graduated cum laude with tional Psychology. She has been listed in Who’s Who in Bachelors of Arts in journalism and gender America, and Who’s Who in studies from American University. The New York native recently interviewed screen icon American Women Raquel Welch, Dr. Nancy Snyderman from the "Today Show" and Judge Marilyn Milan Sudi Moein, M.D., F.A.C.O.G., from "The People's Court". Sudi Moein, M.D., F.A.C.O.G., is the founding physician of the Women’s InJennifer is the tegrative Center for Obstetrics proud stay at and Gynecology (WICOG) home mother in Poway and Hillcrest. An of her four award-winning surgeon, year- old son. she advocates integrative She has a BA medicine: inspired by her in Psycholown in-depth journey through ogy, a Masters a woman's mind, body, Degree in Deanna Bates and spirit, Dr. Sudi brings Clinical Social Deanna has been an educator together information from in the San Diego area for over Work, and a teaching certification in yoga. many disciplines in order to twenty years. She currently Jennifer has enjoyed writing for many years teaches third grade. comprehensively understand and her styles include non-fiction, children’s In midlife, she has returned to and improve women’s health books, and poetry. Jennifer has contributed her first love - writing. She is and well-being. to local publications and is currently working working on a series of poems on a children’s book series as well as a book and stories based on her life experiences. on parenting. Deanna resides with her husband, teenage daughter, and three very spoiled pets, all of whom provide her with endless writing inspiration!

Diana Vahedi Diana has been teaching reading and writing to adults and children for over 13 years. She began writing poetry when she was 14 years old. She is currently working on two children’s books, “Layla Saves the Jumbos” and “Mommy Kisses Never Come Off” as well as a book of poetry and short stories entitled, “My Alter Ego: How I Survived Seventh Grade as a Walking Lightning Rod. She currently lives in San Diego County and teaches elementary school in La Jolla.

Dawn Standke is a garden designer and University of California Cooperative Extension Master Gardener volunteer. She has been gardening in San Diego for the past 18 years. Contact her at

Lisa K Miller

San Diego

Robert Tussey

Taryn is a college student studying Literature and Writing at California State University San Marcos. After spending two years studying English Education at Northern Arizona University, she decided to return to San Diego. Born and raised in North County, she plans to teach high school English after graduation. She is a published author, and is excited to break into the world of journalism. She currently resides in Rancho Bernardo.

Dawn Standke


Taryn Bates



Now find us on:

Jaime V. Habert

Jaime is a music enthusiast whose favorite genres include jazz vocals, and classical crossover. She has plans to pursue a degree in journalism and media. She is a freelance writer, who takes every opportunity to write about the subject she loves. Jaime resides with her family in Rancho Bernardo, California.

Kathy Rudlin

As a therapist, writer, and parent Kathy is a passionate advocate for teens, believing they need strong role modeling and support during this important transition into adulthood. Currently, she educates parents through her articles on

Letters Editor to the

Thank you for providing an entertaining and educational magazine for the women of San Diego County. Andi from San Diego It was so refreshing to read the cover story about Rana Sampson. I was so impressed with her background and accomplishments. Most touching was her desire to help the children through her work at the San Diego Center for Children. It is a great place and she is a great lady. Cali from San Diego

I never knew that there existed a method to get rid of my nasty varicose veins until I read about Dr. Bunke in your magazine. I have not worn shorts in years and the idea that I can fix the problem without surgery is encouraging. Once again San Diego Woman has provided useful information to help make my life better. I will be a lifelong reader. Ginny from La Jolla

I loved learning more about our mayor’s wife. What a wonderful lady. She seemed like such a great person. It is refreshing when we are so used to only hearing negative comments about our politicians and their families. Way to go Rana! Sue from Del Mar Thank you so much for the information on Dr. Tess. I was amazed to hear of some of the new procedures that are available. She seems like an innovator in her field, and I plan to pay a visit to her very soon. I might even be able to break out the Bikini once again. Carol from Mira Mesa


I always wondered about permanent makeup and as a swimmer thought it would be the perfect answer to always looking good while in the pool. I did wonder what you would do if you got bored with the color. I never knew you could blend other colors over it if needed. Since reading your article and doing additional research, I am sold. Briana from UTC Poor Vessa, and what a loser that guy was. That has to be one of the worst dates I ever heard of. I hope she went on to find happiness. But then, there aren’t many worse guys. Lee Anne from Poway The article “Next Time I Want Vanilla,” was great. Zori is such a wonderful Mom. My husband and I recently found out that we cannot conceive and we are researching adoption options. After reading her heartwarming story I am looking forward to the idea of adopting a child regardless of race. The more we teach our children that we are all the same, the more likely that this world will become more tolerant. Thanks Zori, you are an inspiration. Lisa from Escondido Dr. Sudi seems to be a kind compassionate doctor. Reading her column, which answers many of the questions that I’m afraid to ask my somewhat stodgy GYN, I feel that I am not as weird as I thought I was. Now I know that it is the lack of hormones in my system that makes me feel like I do and I am planning to make an appointment to get this rectified. I let my husband read the column and it has made him more understanding too, which makes me less stressed out. Becky from Poway I love Dr.Eisenberg! My sister was diagnosed with Cancer and she was devastated. Then she started seeing Dr. E and she is doing well physically and even better emotionally. He is the type of Dr. we all need. His upbeat personality and positive attitude make him very unique. Thank you for giving my sister back to me. Lilly from Rancho Bernardo

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Woman San Diego

San Diego

When going through hard times in our life we are often told that all things happen for a reason. For Janice Brown, founder of Brown Law Group this may have been the case. As a young girl Janice had aspirations of a career as an on air news personality, but due to a serious bicycle injury as a young girl and what turned out to be temporary facial scars, she assumed this goal would be out of reach. Instead, she chose law as her new found profession and today is the senior partner of one of the most well respected law firms in San Diego. Growing up in Montana, Janice knew one thing for sure - she one day would move from Montana. Although she loved her home town, the friendly people and the small town feel, Janice knew she wanted to explore other locations and wanted more of a metropolitan setting to call home. The frigid winters and humid summers also added to her desire to relocate. After attending college in Missoula, Montana, she moved on to Spokane, Washington, to attend Gonzaga Law School. Janice completed law school in two years and upon graduation was offered a position in the Honors Program of the Tax Division for the Department of Justice in Washington DC. Her successes there were recognized when she was given an outstanding attorney award in Washington DC, quickly making her reputation in the legal community. Janice spent four years with the Justice department and in her last year and a half she was given San Diego as her docket; Janice spent a significant amount of time traveling from Washington DC to San Diego where she had to appear in court for hearings. “It was actually a very coveted assignment since every two to three weeks I found myself in San Diego. The climate and small town feel of San Diego was appealing, and when I was offered a position with Selzer Caplan, at a considerably higher salary than I was receiving at the Department of Justice, the climate lured me and a good job sealed the deal.” In 1988, Janice made the move to San Diego and has never looked back. Her experiences at Selzer Caplan were invaluable, allowing her to see how life worked outside of a government agency. “At the Justice Department I regularly had eighty cases I was overseeing at one time. When I moved to Selzer Caplan I had a handful of cases that I was assigned, and the expectation was that every single detail would be executed flawlessly. The standard of excellence that I was taught working at Seltzer has stayed with me throughout my career.” Janice had found a home at Selzer Caplan and spent 11 years working for them. Janice’s entrepreneurial spirit started to rear its head after a while and she took notice of the other lawyers and made a serious determination. “I looked at the attorneys that I knew and realized the ones who were the happiest were the ones with their own practices. The least happy ones were those who worked for the people that were happy.” It was this fact that spurred Janice’s desire to go out on her own. She and one of the other attorneys at Selzer Caplan decided to branch out and open their own practice. “This worked well for a while and I learned a lot about running a practice, but the partner I left with was more traditional than me and it began to feel as if I had not left my original firm. I decided that if I truly wanted the practice I dreamed of I needed to venture out on my own." Shortly thereafter ties were severed and Janice opened



Brown Law Group. Brown Law Group specializes in employment law, an area that is by far her favorite aspect of the law. “It’s such an important part of the law. It impacts businesses of all sizes. The way I like to think about it is that I do preventative law, helping companies to avoid lawsuits. I teach firms and update them in areas such as how to assure that there is no sexual harassment in the work place, how to deal with disability, how to follow proper procedure should a termination be needed: By doing so, companies can save a lot of money avoiding problems before they occur.” Janice is also a speaker and teacher in these areas, traveling across the country to lend her expertise to corporations, a part of her job she hopes to expand in the future. Her speaking engagements allow her to reach back to her original dreams of broadcast journalism. Janice believes that no matter how much you think you know there


is always more to learn and continues working on expanding her knowledge in all areas; not only the law, but also personal development. She has become an expert at networking, even creating her own system, entitled Cloudburst™ which she now teaches to other lawyers and business owners. Her unique networking plan has significantly increased her firm’s business and made life manageable for a busy senior partner. Although there are a lot of bad jokes out there about lawyers, and some are undoubtedly earned, Janice prides herself and her practice in maintaining the highest level of professionalism and ethics. Janice adds, “We play clean.” In her early fifties and navigating through a divorce - which admittedly is a sad event in any woman’s life - Janice has found a place of happiness; sharing time with her brother and his three children, growing her successful practice and spending time with her cherished friends. She admits that she no longer feels the “need” to be married.

A self proclaimed workaholic, Janice learned a valuable lesson due to a serious Achilles heel injury which curtailed much of her activity. “I couldn’t drive, or walk and I was in constant pain. I had to slow down. It was no longer an option. I had to focus on “not doing,” which is not easy. But what I learned was that I didn’t have to go out and chase things to make things happen. They would happen naturally, they would come to me. It made me realize that I could not do everything. I had to share the responsibilities with others and not only did it make me a better person, it made those around me better. I used to work all the time and that is what made me significant. This injury made me realize I am significant just because I am here. “ Janice Brown is definitely significant. Her beautiful smile and kind eyes light up when she talks about those things for which she is passionate. One of these passions is her association with the Earl B. Gilliam Bar Association, the African American Bar Association of San Diego. Not only is she a lifetime member, but she was president in 1993 and 1994. Janice was also elected to the County Bar

Board where she served for three years. Though a tough position, Janice admits that she learned a lot during her time on the bar. Her civic duty did not stop there as she is currently on the economic development corporation board and proudly adds, “We are the smallest company on the board and I am very proud of that.” She shares that distinction with the utility companies, colleges and large firms such as Qualcom. Janice is also on Senator Boxer’s judicial selection committee, helping to select federal judges. A primarily female law practice, with 6 female attorneys and just one male, Brown Law Group did not set out to be this way, “It just sort of happened. I have been blessed in having some of the finest attorneys in town come to our firm, who just happened to be female. Our one male attorney has no problem being outnumbered. I think he likes it." When asked what it is that Janice loves most about her job her answer is simple, “I love motivating people to do more than they thought they could do.”


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San Diego

Many women have found themselves on the horns of this dilemma. Increases in divorce, death of a spouse, inheritance, and sudden success of a business, are but a few of the events that


How Do Women Choose a Financial Planner -Who Do They Trust?

reputation of the firm had to evoke trust and security. That does not mean to say bigger is better. It does mean the firm’s reputation is stellar. What about costs? In 95% of the respondents cost was not even in the top three criteria. How about the sex of a financial advisor? That doesn’t show up as even being in the top 10 reasons for choosing an advisor. Remember the Mel Gibson movie “What Women Want?” Well the answer is loyalty, trustworthiness and of course personal attention. What will the level of communication be, because we need to stay informed? As we know women are information gatherers. We get our information from TV, radio, books, magazines and the Internet. Yet we rely often on the oldest form of communication, and that is word of mouth. A decision was made to research San Diego Financial Advisors and since we were somewhat surprised that the sex of advisors didn’t matter, we chose to look at some men who advise women. Now keep in mind that this is neither an endorsement nor a testimonial from San Diego Woman Magazine. It is just our research report. Addressing the issue of brand loyalty we found several good companies. Morgan Stanley Smith Barney seemed to come up frequently. We were impressed on how they have survived the financial crisis we have seen throughout the past 5 years. It appears their global research capabilities were a factor. Low risk investments have been the mainstay of their recommendations. But what was interesting to us was how they have developed the team approach by pairing Financial Advisors so they may work together and complement each other. In San Diego we found such a team. Dax Fletcher and Ardo Peltekian, otherwise known as The Fletcher Peltekian Group* at Morgan Stanley Smith Barney. They have been Financial Advisors (FA’s is the industry term) for many years. They worked together as a team at a bank that no longer exists. That aside, they decided to team up to provide their clients what they wanted. The problem at the bank was that they had no time to develop a personal relationship with people. They covered 7 branches of the bank where they got customers, but not clients. We asked how they decided to go to Morgan Stanley Smith Barney and Ardo said they wanted a solution based career and not a product based one, and the opportunity to build relationships. Morgan Stanley Smith Barney was their first choice. Dax emphasized that he and Ardo are married family men. Though they work long hours they make sure

cause women to seek help making sound financial decisions and appropriate planning. The question is a long standing one however; today there are so many choices and everyone has an answer or a suggestion. The options are dizzying. So we did our own research. We reviewed many reports and chose the June 11, 2011 report from the Nielsen consumer information company. The report has some interesting statistics. Not too surprising the answer to our question garnered some standard responses. For example how a woman hires a financial advisor depends on age, social background and of course circumstances. But there were some surprises too. Nielsen found that the number one driver in making this decision was – brand quality. In other words the



they take time regularly for their families. Ardo also said that they have a family like relationship with their clients. Often going to weddings, baptisms, and family events of various kinds. In short they are involved with their clients of which 48% are women. They also did some research and found out what we keep preaching and that is women are involved in 91% of all financial decisions (courtesy of Women's Regional Publications of America). So they have been growing their women base clientele naturally. They do not target women directly. They receive referrals from women, through trusted professionals and educational events. For many women, hiring a financial advisor is a daunting task. This is especially so when there is a divorce or death of a spouse and, of course, financial calamities. Many do not want someone to tell them what to do. They want choices in a collaborative environment. Women business owners want the same thing. So we asked Dax and Ardo how they give women what they want in the financial areas of their lives. They answered that their first step is to help their clients to establish their needs, both short term and long term. They then create a profile

that establishes resources and time tables as well as risk aversion. The women clients of course participate in the process and approve their profile. The client is then offered various compensation arrangements and they choose the one that they are the most comfortable following. How do you maintain a productive relationship with your women clients, we asked? They said they prefer to talk on the phone regularly and in person as often as possible. Ardo said that he wants to see their facial expression and look them in the eye to see how they feel about a problem or a recommendation. Dax added that they organize small events with their clients, a high tea or a wine pairing are some examples. Additionally, they provide, through Morgan Stanley Smith Barney, quality information on various financial matters. Topics include how to assess risk or how to manage your wealth, just to name a few. (Contact them at 619 236 1331 for a complete list of their reports.) To us it seems that Dax and Ardo have combined old school ethics with contemporary financial know how.

All About Hope, Dignity, and Independence to a business she loved. After all the freedom and personal growth her own company afforded her, she feared that she would not find another career where she could be genuinely fulfilled. Then in 2008 St. Paul’s PACE opened their doors, and Carol was hired soon after. “It is a position that is similar to running my own business, just magnified,” she said, and working at St. Paul’s PACE has given her the opportunity to be creative and grow, and in her own words, it has been “very satisfying.” And indeed it must be when one sees the level of care the elderly receive at St. Paul’s PACE. As we walked through the facility different activities were taking place: A specialist was working with a group for psychiatric issues while in the next room, another group was doing a social activity. A cozy restaurant area also provides a nutritionally balanced lunch each day. The facility was immaculate and the rehabilitation center was bustling with seniors working on a variety of exercises. There is a full shower facility where a senior can get help if needed, and at the end of the corridor a “Mini ER” as Carol calls it. Their primary care clinic houses a Physician, Physician Assistant, registered nurses, vocational nurses and a medical technician who manages chronic and acute situations rather than sending the elderly directly to a hospital. They can do intravenous therapy, electrocardiograms, wound care, X-rays, and provide medications. St. Paul’s PACE also has (on site) a dentist, optometrist, podiatrist, psychologist, and psychiatrist. They also have their own transportation that picks up the seniors and then takes them home again when their visit is over. Some seniors come once or twice a week, while some come every day—it’s always a case by case situation. Through daily meetings, the Interdisciplinary Team—made up of the Center Director, doctor, nurse, dietician, social worker, home care nurse, representatives from transportation, recreation, and day services as well as the physical and occupational therapists—discuss individual cases. This is the time when a full picture of a particular senior is formed; a daily meeting that really analyzes the needs of a senior from every angle. It’s through these meetings that steps can

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An elderly woman pushes her walker past the receptionist, but stops when she sees a young lady with a guitar slung over her shoulder leaving. “I am sorry to have missed you. I really love your music. I couldn’t make it because I was in rehab.” “That’s okay, maybe next time,” the volunteer musician says with a big smile. A few more seniors exit and some enter, and each one is acknowledged with a warm “goodbye” or “hello” from the receptionist. There is some laughter, some teasing, and everyone seems genuinely happy to be there. And where is this place? It’s called St. Paul’s PACE, an all-inclusive medical, social, and homecare facility that allows frail seniors to continue to live safely in their homes while providing them a plethora of services; from medical care to rehabilitative care to day center activities which include music, art, exercise, and field trips. And this is just the beginning. To learn more about these and other services, I was given a guided tour by Carol Hubbard, the Executive Director at St. Paul’s PACE (Program of All-Inclusive Care for the Elderly). After spending some time with Carol, it was clear how much she believed in St. Paul’s PACE. Carol Hubbard, a graduate of Quinnipiac College in Connecticut, always enjoyed taking care of people. In high school she volunteered in homes for developmentally disabled children and quickly found her passion in occupational therapy. For twenty years, Carol owned and operated an occupational therapy business with up to ten therapists working for her. Unfortunately, due to the impact of Medicare fee schedule and regulation changes, she had to close her doors



be taken to serve each senior as a true individual. Another woman at the helm of this organization is Cheryl Wilson, the CEO of St. Paul’s Senior Homes and Services. Carol spoke highly of Ms. Wilson and all she had done for St. Paul’s PACE... St. Paul’s PACE is undoubtedly a great place for low-income seniors who qualify, and at the heart of this organization are strong women like Carol Hubbard and Cheryl Wilson. Carol, a breast cancer survivor since 2001, a survivor of closing one’s beloved business, a survivor of tough times who describes her leadership style as calm and honest with an emphasis on “doing the right thing” is indeed a woman to be admired. Because of the cancer and other challenges, she has learned to let go of the “small stuff.” She realized what was most important to her is family, patient care, and music; when playing her sax or flute and taking care of others, she is fulfilled. With a supportive husband and a satisfying career, Carol has found balance and contentment in her life. Meeting Carol Hubbard, with her friendly and forward-thinking management skills, one senses that organizations like St. Paul’s PACE are all the stronger for having people like her in a leadership role. There is no doubt with women like Cheryl Wilson and Carol Hubbard at the forefront, seniors in our community can be taken care of in a compassionate, dedicated manner. To reach more seniors in need of such care, new facilities in South and East County are being planned and will, hopefully, be in operation within the next twelve months. The many smiles I encountered on my visit and the overall charm of the facility made St. Paul’s PACE a place where frail, low-income seniors can indeed receive “Hope, Dignity, Independence, Pride, Joy, and Family.” For more information, visit or call (619) 677-3800.

Rancho Bernardo Sunrise Rotary Rancho Bernardo Sunrise Rotary meets for breakfast every Tuesday 7-8:30am at the Country Club of Rancho Bernardo, 12280 Greens East Rd. San Diego, Ca. 92128 (next to Rancho Bernardo Inn). The Club is involved in local community and international projects. For more information call Jana Markley, Membership Chairman at 858-613-4656

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Breakfast…. My Mom was big on breakfast. Maybe it was just an Iowa thing, but every morning we awakened to the aroma of freshbrewed coffee and the beginnings of a boffo breakfast; eggs, buttered toast or English muffins, oatmeal, oj and fruit. It was just part of our family routine. I can still hear Mom reminding us to eat our breakfast. “It’s the most important meal of the day!” Turns out, Mom was right…about a lot of things, actually. Too bad I didn’t heed her advice as I embarked on my own. As a young woman, I’d skip breakfast (thinking I could save the calories until later!) run on fumes for much of the day…then gobble up whatever crossed my path later. If a bag of Oreos was handy…that would be dinner. Big mistake. In my early 40’s, I finally woke up and “smelled the coffee!” With my energy low and outlook bleak, I turned to my doctor for help. His advice took me back to the basics…and back to breakfast. I started feeling better almost immediately! Mom was right. Eating breakfast not only gives me energy (duh!) to start the day…it helps me concentrate, gives me strength AND helps me maintain a healthy weight. How ‘bout you? If you start the day with an empty tank and wonder why you’re fading by 10…add breakfast to your morning routine and experience the difference for yourself. I keep it simple with bowl of whole grain cereal. I like to mix ‘em up…Shredded Wheat…Raisin Bran….Kashi Go Lean Crisp and Barbara’s multi-grain Shredded Spoonfuls…to name a few! To that I add a couple spoonfuls of ground flaxseed, some wheat germ and a scoop of whey protein (available at any health food store)…then cover it all in low-fat almond or dairy milk. My husband calls it ‘glop,’ but I don’t care! Add a mug of full-bodied coffee and I’m ready for anything! And even if I can’t eat right the rest of the day…at least I’ve got a good start.

* Cooked oatmeal with almonds or dried cranberries * Cold cereal with a side of fruit * A whole wheat pita stuffed with hard-boiled eggs * Leftover vegetable pizza (seriously!) * Vegetables, salsa and low-fat shredded cheese wrapped in a tortilla * A smoothie blended from fruits, low-fat yogurt and a spoonful of wheat germ * Whole-wheat crackers with low-fat cheese or peanut butter * Veggie omelet and toast * A whole-wheat sandwich with lean meat and low-fat cheese * Multigrain pancakes with fruit and yogurt * A whole-grain waffle with peanut butter So, whether you tend to stick with traditional breakfast options or prefer the variety of eating “outside the (cereal) box,” you have plenty of ways to eat a healthy breakfast each day. Just make sure you incorporate the core of a healthy breakfast…whole grains, lowfat protein, low-fat dairy, fruits and vegetables. So, don’t rob yourself of the opportunity to eat more vitamins and minerals, eat less fat, have better concentration and productivity, control your weight and have lower cholesterol…all of which may reduce your risk of heart disease. Eat your breakfast. It’s good for you. Thanks Mom.

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with Carol



Now, if ‘glop’ isn’t your thing…not to worry! Here’s a list of healthy and easy breakfast options. One is sure to be right for you:




Much to the delight of her faithful fans, TV’s Pat Brown is back on the weather desk… full-time! You can find Pat’s sunny smile and trusted forecasts on 10News weeknights at 5, 6, 7 and 11…as she guides her viewers through the cold fronts, high-pressure systems and Doppler radar images that affect San Diego’s weather. While the folks at KGTV are thrilled that Pat is now part of the team…no one’s happier than the winsome weathercaster herself. “I feel so grateful for this opportunity,” says Pat. “I have another chance to do what I love to do and I don’t take that lightly.” Because of personnel changes at NBC 7/39, Pat left in 2009, after nine years of broadcasting the weather. She’d been acting as 10News’ fill-in weather anchor the last 18 months. With the departure of Byron Miranda to KNBC in Los Angeles, Pat was perfectly positioned to move into his vacant slot at KGTV. I met up with Pat recently at Crystal Pier Hotel and Cottages in Pacific Beach…where my friend and media colleague was enjoying a weekend at the beach before starting her new gig. “Isn’t this amazing,” exclaimed Pat, pointing out the view of the pounding surf from her room…using the same grand flourish she’s famous for as she follows the jet stream’s flow on the evening news! “I’ve always wanted to stay in one of these cottages,” she gushed. It was vintage Pat Brown…enjoying life…looking forward to a new job and crossing off another item from her “bucket list.” Pat’s not one to wait for life to happen. While Santa Ana winds may get her adrenaline pumping, my perennially positive pal is not

overly bothered by the winds of change. At 50-something, the petite blond with laser-like focus continues to reinvent herself: From TV magazine anchor…to morning radio host… to 5th grade school teacher… to trusted weathercaster… Pat knows how to recognize and seize an opportunity. Pat loves to talk about the opportunity that came from an unexpected source…a college beauty pageant. Nominated by the girls in her dorm, Pat reluctantly entered the Miss Shepherd College’s beauty pageant in 1976. She took runner-up in the contest, but when the winner was unable to participate in the state pageant, the school sent Pat as their representative in the Miss West Virginia pageant. “I thought it would be fun, “she told herself. “I won’t win.” But she DID win! And the new Miss West Virginia was on her way to the Miss USA Pageant. That’s where Pat’s life took a surprising turn. Self-described as studious and “bookish,” Pat says her childhood dream was to teach school. “I used to play ‘teacher’ in the basement at home,” said Pat. But Bob Barker and 60 million TV viewers opened a brand new world for her….but it wasn’t all good for the ego. “I was 5’4”! I didn’t have a chance! I was the shortest woman in the pageant!” But Pat excelled in the pageant interview and the rest is history. “I was fascinated with the lights and

Before breaking into television, Pat worked at the Washington Post while earning her degree in Communications from American University in Washington, DC. A year out of college, Pat landed her first on-air job on Dayton, Ohio’s PM Magazine. As co-host, she introduced local and national segments for the popular TV magazine show. In 1985, Pat moved from chilly Minneapolis to sunny San Diego to co-host San Diego’s “PM.” For five years, Pat partnered with Dave Hood on the highly-rated nightly show. “I loved PM Magazine because of its positive influence,” said Pat. “In an era before tabloid TV, it was fun.” When PM Magazine was cancelled at the national level, Pat weighed her options and decided to try something new…as long as she could stay in San Diego. She decided to give radio a try. An opening on the weekend shift at KYXY Radio led to Pat’s next reinvention. The new challenge included operating an audio board for the first time. “I was a nervous wreck!” Pat recalled. But the gutsy move led to a full-time radio gig. Pat’s sunny disposition was a perfect match for host Sonny West, with whom Pat co-hosted the popular KYXY morning show for five years.

More “stuff” you may not know about Pat Brown: 1. Weekend job? “I’m a tour guide with San Diego-based “Day Trippers.” 2. Favorite sport? “Scuba diving…especially at night with the manta rays off the Big Island of Hawaii!” 3. Best adventures? Soloing a single-engine plane, piloting a blimp and sky-diving. 4. Most fun? “Roller Coasters. I’ll travel most anywhere to ride a great roller coaster!” 5. Top health tip? “Sleep!”

Her life’s biggest game-changer came when she turned 40. “It was a reflective time in my life,” says Pat. Her passion to teach still burning, Pat took what she calls a “leap of faith.” She left her radio job and went back to school to earn her teaching credential.

6. Favorite free-time activities? “Sleep….and reading, books or Kindle…doesn’t matter. I love to dive into another world!”

Eleven months later, Pat’s audience went from thousands of listeners during morning drive to a roomful of fifth graders all day. But she had finally realized her dream. “I couldn’t believe I had my own classroom,” exclaimed Pat. “I loved my kids.”

7. I’m happiest… “with my good friends and sweet kitties “Romeow” and “Buddy!”

But, she admits, she still loved TV. Two years later, while teaching at Skyline Elementary in Solana Beach, Pat got an offer she couldn’t refuse…broadcasting the weather on NBC 7/39. She took the job in 2000 and in 2006 was promoted to the week night anchor position, becoming the first female main weather anchor in San Diego. In addition, Pat holds the distinction of being only one of 4 on-air personalities who have been on all three major network affiliates in San Diego, ABC 10 News KGTV, NBC 7/39, and CBS 8 KFMB. The other three are Marty Levin, Margaret Radford and Jody Hammond. Pat’s warm and friendly on-air style won her a strong local following. When Pat left the station, she says she was “blown away” by the hundreds of e-mails from her viewers…clearly upset by her departure. “They were so personal,” says Pat. “What better compliment than to have people consider you their friend!” Her new bosses hope Pat’s “friends” will follow her to 10News. “Pat blends her forecasting skills with a friendly nature that’s not just an on-camera act,” says KGTV VP and General Manager Jeff Block. “San Diego trusts Pat Brown to forecast the weather, but she’s also a great person with incredible warmth and personality. She fits right in with Kim, Steve, Hal and the entire 10News team.” And for someone who loves to talk about the weather, it’s a perfect fit for Pat, too. “I can just be myself and talk to viewers unscripted, one-on-one,” says Pat. “I love relating the weather to people’s lives

8. On being 50-something? “I feel better now than I did in my 20’s! 9. On being known as “perky” Pat? “I prefer “positive” or “optimistic.” 10. On giving back? “I work with the MS Society, Alzheimer’s Association, Burn Institute, and I read to students at Ericson Elementary school every week. 11. About breakfast? “Never miss it! I make the best pancakes…with chopped pecans in the batter with REAL maple syrup!” 12. Isn’t San Diego’s weather always the same? “Anyone who lives here knows that’s not true!”

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Pat has little tolerance for people who criticize beauty pageants. “They can expose a girl to new experiences,” Pat explained. “It changed the direction of my life.” She put her teaching dream on hold to give TV a try.

and what’s going on in the community. I’m very blessed to have that connection with people.”


cameras and the excitement of rehearsing. The microphone no longer scared me and the experience awakened some talent I didn’t even know I had!”



Poetry Corner A Perspective of Peace By Jennifer Laurent

To fly….To soar Above it all So free Gliding in the wind. In the clouds And above the world. Above the world. Above the mess of it all Watching as it blends together. From up here can you tell it apart? Doesn’t all the world come together? It is one picture One picture of many images But still……one picture. Above it all There is freedom To wander and to see

Under the Lilac Tree By Diana Vahedi

Under the beautiful lilac tree Our world was pure and so carefree Under the beautiful lilac tree Our world was anything we wanted it to be Under the beautiful lilac tree We’d sing a lovely tune Our brother sat on his regal brick throne While my sister and I would laugh and swoon

Under the beautiful lilac tree King David was in all his glory Wielding his imagined power A jester really in a child’s make believe story Under the beautiful lilac tree We’d giggle and laugh and play for hours Inebriated by the magnificent smell Of those perfect lilac flowers

Under the beautiful lilac tree We were safe and wild and free Seeking happiness and comfort And a glorious escape from reality Under the beautiful lilac tree Our world was pure and so carefree Under the beautiful lilac tree Our world was anything we wanted it to be


San Diego



In The

Monarchs in the G arden

By Dawn Standke

Photos by Lisa K Miller and Dawn Standke

plant that the caterpillars will eat - which is milkweed. This is a nice benefit for the homeowner - none of the other plants in the landscape will be eaten. Milkweed contains chemicals called cardenolides which makes both the monarch caterpillars and monarch adult butterflies poisonous to most vertebrate predators. Second, the butterfly gardener will also need to provide food, or rather beverages, for the adult butterflies. Butterflies like a nice full buffet - a good number of nectar producing flowers are necessary to attract and keep monarchs in the garden. Two of the best choices are butterfly bush - Buddleia, and tall verbena - Verbena bonariensis. Both produce flowers rich in nectar over a long season. The third thing is as essential as the first two - and that is to not use pesticides. Butterflies are insects and will be injured or killed by a wide range of common pesticides. Monarch butterflies need our help. Millions of acres of monarch habitat have been lost due to development, agricultural practices, and pesticide use. Planting a butterfly garden at your home, school, church or business will help restore some of the lost habitat and help preserve butterflies. Still having trouble thinking about planting flowers to be eaten by caterpillars? You wouldn't grow a fruit tree to just look at the fruit would you? Remember that the point of growing milkweed is to produce food as well - not for you, but for your beautiful monarch butterflies.

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It's no accident that the average landscape plant attracts no wildlife. In fact most of the plants that we traditionally grow around our homes were chosen specifically because they function as a wasteland for wildlife - what homeowner wants their landscape marred by unsightly damaged plants? A few small birds in the trees might be OK - so long as they don't make a mess - but caterpillars on the flowers? No way. For people stuck thinking like this there will be no butterflies in the garden. But for those who have made the decision to purposefully grow plants to feed caterpillars the rewards are considerable. Sitting at my computer I'm looking out at my backyard. I can't see the milkweed plants that have been nearly eaten up by caterpillars - they will leaf out again, and besides, I have plenty more milkweed


plants growing out there - but I can see six monarch butterflies chasing each other around the backyard. Watching them adds another dimension of enjoyment to the garden. They pair up, or sometimes spin around each other briefly in groups of three or four. Once each chooses a mate, eggs will be laid and more caterpillars will hatch. The tiny yellow and black striped caterpillars will feed on milkweed until they grow to about two inches long, then will crawl off in search of a good place to start the process of metamorphosis. Each caterpillar creates a shimmering green chrysalis flecked with gold where it will transform into a beautiful butterfly. The process inside the chrysalis is truly a biological miracle. The caterpillar’s body is liquefied by digestive enzymes and is remade using specialized cells which are similar to stem cells in other animals. This cycle from egg to adult butterfly repeats in my San Diego garden all summer long. There are three essential things that you will need to do to have monarchs in your own garden [backyard]. First, there has to be food for the caterpillars. There is just one kind of plant where monarch butterflies will lay their eggs - the only

Dawn Standke is a garden designer and University of California Cooperative Extension Master Gardener volunteer. She has been gardening in San Diego for the past 18 years. Contact her at


Dawn Standke Garden Designer

Dawn is a transplant from northern Minnesota. She was born in International Falls, a town proudly known as "The Icebox of the Nation." Dawn is extremely happy to live in San Diego and no longer endure temperatures down to forty degrees below zero every winter. In northern Minnesota's short summers Dawn gardened with her parents, growing vegetables and berries with her father and flowers with her mother. Dawn spent the early years of her career far from the garden as a computer programmer, first for Hughes Aircraft in Los Angeles, and then for Qualcomm. Even then, she would spend her lunch hours wandering plant nurseries, bringing home treasures to nurture. Dawn's formal training with plants and exterior design began in 2005 when she became a UC Master Gardener. Master Gardeners are volunteers trained and supervised by the University of California Cooperative Extension (UCCE). The mission of the UCCE is to conduct research on new pests and issues affecting the county, and to provide research based information to the public. Inherent in the title "Master Gardener" lies the challenge to continue learning and to help other gardeners grow. It's a challenge that everyone who has graduated from the Master Gardener program is committed to meeting. Dawn's horticultural education continued with classes at Cuyamaca, Mesa and Southwestern Colleges. She started Standke Garden Design to help homeowners create beautiful sustainable gardens that consume fewer resources - water, pesticides, and labor, and that would give back more - more edibles, more desirable wildlife, and more beauty. Dawn has been gardening in San Diego for the past eighteen years. Contact her at


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Success in a Challenging Real Estate Market SDW: There is a mixed perception of real estate right now. Many people come from the “doom and gloom” school of thought and feel that despite bank bail-outs and government intervention, the housing market is destined to take forever to recover. Many Realtors are struggling to earn a living built on an unstable income and declining market. Then there are those who look at the bright side of things and see the tremendous opportunity in today’s real estate market. Investors are diving in with both feet because they realize that fortunes are made in markets like this. They are like kids in a candy store, while others are hesitant or afraid to jump into the market. Wouldn’t you agree that it’s more fun to hang out with the people who look at the glass as half full rather than half empty?

of the very first Nextage Realty franchise in San Diego. The doors of Nextage Pacific Realty opened in October of last year in Pt. Loma. Melissa Day is a licensed Realtor and is also responsible for Business Development for their office. They are both actively building their team here in San Diego, but also have a vision of expanding all over the country. In two short years, there are already over 80 Nextage Realty franchises nationwide! What is even more impressive is that as they build on their success, they are passionate about giving back. For every transaction closed, they donate a portion of their commission to their client’s charity – in their client’s name. If a client doesn’t have a charity they support, Linda donates to the Helen Woodward


Consider these statistics: • There were over 5 million existing homes sold in the United States in 2010. • That approached $1 trillion in total home sales volume. • These sales generated over $40 billion in total real estate commissions paid. We had the pleasure of meeting two very savvy women who see the glass as overflowing – and who have found a way to capture more of the $40 billion that is being earned in the real estate industry without working harder! Not only are they passionate about what they do in real estate, they have seized the bull by its horns and are gaining momentum as they build a real estate business that will provide them with an end game. These ladies are actually having fun with their success in an industry where others are still “waiting to see” what happens. Linda Pasas is the Broker/Owner

Foundation since she is an animal lover and Melissa supports the Joyful Heart Foundation in honor of her sister who is a survivor of domestic abuse. The time is right for building a real estate business as we enter the next age of real estate! You’re in for a treat as these two successful Realtors share their journey and some of their secrets to success that has lead them to a place where they are thriving in what some people consider a challenging real estate market. SDW: Tell us a little bit about your journey that lead you to where you are today. Linda: I’ve been in the real estate business now for over 20 years. During this time, I have accumulated extensive sales experience in California, Arizona, Hawaii, Belize, Mexico, and Costa Rica. I have enjoyed tremendous success; including being Prudential’s #1 Agent in California for closed transactions two years in a

SDW: What lead you to Nextage Realty? Linda: After leaving Prudential and opening my own brokerage, Pasas Properties, Inc., I realized that I was then faced with the challenges every broker faces. 1) Recruiting – If I wanted to grow my brokerage and earn more from my business as a broker, I needed to recruit good agents, 2) Training/Production – If my income and business was going to grow, I had to train my agents to be skilled at increasing their production and 3) Retention – after taking the time and expense to train my agents – there was always a risk that they would leave at a moment’s notice when another brokerage dangled a carrot in front of them, promising them a better split, lower fees or other enticing bonuses. When Melissa shared the Nextage Realty business model with me, I saw right away that all three of these challenges were addressed. Nextage offered a system that I could simply plug into and exponentially grow my business to a point where I could eventually retire! Even more exciting was that I would be providing an excellent opportunity for my agents to also build a business. It is my way of “teaching them how to fish” rather than just handing out the fish to eat. I am building a team nationwide, not just here in San Diego, and I do not have the management headache of running a large brokerage. For the first time in my career, I feel that I finally have an end game-a retirement plan-and that I have more freedom and am more balanced than ever before Melissa: I always wanted to build a team, but hadn’t found the

SDW: How does the Nextage business model work and how has that changed your business? Melissa: Nextage Realty agents build teams of agents, each one building a team (or a business) of their own. The agents receive sales bonuses from the gross commission income produced by their team. Their team can grow exponentially, six generations deep. This is dramatically different from other business models that have a profit sharing model or some that only allow agents to build the team based on one generation. With Nextage, 14.5% of every transaction is given back to the agents in the form of sales bonuses. This allows agents to realize a more stable income. In the traditional real estate model, if an agent doesn’t close a transaction, their income is zero. It’s hard to build a career on an unpredictable roller coaster! At Nextage Realty, that same agent will earn an additional income stream – through sales bonuses – which levels out the income fluctuations. The size of the business an agent builds is up to them and can include recruiting individual agents into their local office, or recruiting entire offices all across the country. It’s pretty exciting to know that we have teams growing in other states in addition to building our team here in San Diego. The best part is – we don’t have to manage those other teams and don’t have the overhead that a traditional broker would have to sustain. The Nextage Realty model is designed for a businessminded agent who can see beyond their “I” world and understands the power of leverage. The traditional real estate business model doesn’t work in this new market. Both Linda and I feel that the Nextage Realty model is exactly what we needed to take our business to the next level. We have now created a stable and growing income and designed a plan that will allow us to eventually step away from our business and still receive an income. To us – that is true success and ultimately…freedom!

SDW: What advice would you give to someone considering a career in real estate? Linda: The best advice I can give you is to always seek out more education and knowledge as you grow into your real estate career. This truly has been one of the main secrets to my success. Every year I seek out opportunities to educate myself beyond the basic Realtor requirements. This is why my colleagues and clients consider me to be a true expert in the areas I specialize in. The training you obtain to become a Realtor is only the beginning. I also encourage you to explore all of your career options to find out what

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Melissa: After graduating from the USC Entrepreneur Program, my goal was to work for myself in a business that I was passionate about. Although I had been involved in real estate in various capacities since the early 1990’s, I didn’t discover my passion for real estate until 2002, which is when I became a licensed Realtor. Initially practicing as a Mortgage Broker, it seemed effortless to earn a six figure income during the “refinance boom”. Then, the market shifted and I felt as though I was working ten times as hard for a tenth of the pay. I pursued advanced education in real estate investing and made the transition to practicing as a Realtor specializing in investor transactions in 2007. This focus has served me well as I have been successful in assisting my investor clients create wealth through real estate. I was instrumental in placing $10 million in capital with an average return of 18-22% for my clients. Having an investor’s mindset, I recognized that there was opportunity in this market, but I still felt that I was missing something. I realized that I had to change the way I was building my real estate career, otherwise my income would always be affected by the volatility of the market. I was still exchanging time for money. If I didn’t close a deal one month, my income was zero for that month. Going back to the basics… I knew that I needed to build a business based on a system that utilized leverage and created a residual income.

right fit to achieve this goal. I was excited to learn about Nextage Realty from a fellow real estate investor and discovered that the Nextage business model would allow me to build a team all across the country. Linda and I had worked together in the past and I admired her success and experience. I immediately sought her out to become the Broker/Owner of the Nextage Realty franchise in San Diego. With Linda at the helm, I knew we would achieve massive success because she has lead teams, understands leverage and always embraces a bigger vision. By combining our complementary skills and experience, I knew that we could build a business that allowed us to stabilize and grow our income, while helping other agents realize their own success and ultimately provide us with the freedom we both desired. With Nextage, we are building a business, not just doing business. The best part of all is that we’re helping other agents make a paradigm shift in their thinking. If Realtors are going to be successful in today’s real estate industry, they need to move away from the “I” way of thinking and must start embracing a “we” school of thought. Our focus is: TEAM = Together Everyone Achieves More.


row and #6 in the World in 2007. I sold over $113 million in real estate during those years, bringing in over $1.5 million in real estate commissions each year. I had a large team that I had to manage on my own, so I was working 60 hours plus per week and approaching burn-out. If I slowed down or stopped working, I knew my income would decrease or end. As the market shifted, so did my business and my income – almost overnight. I decided to downsize my team and ventured out on my own. I love the real estate industry and knew that there had to be a better way. My goal was to find a system that allowed me to build a business that would continue to produce a stable income even if I slowed down, took a vacation or wasn’t directly involved in the day-to-day business. I know that creating a residual income stream is the best way to achieve true wealth and freedom. For me, real estate is the vehicle to achieve this goal. The question remained… “What direction am I going to drive this vehicle?”



is going to be a good direction for you. Meet with other agents and brokers to find out what is working for them and what challenges they face. If you are business-minded, consider looking at Nextage Realty to hang your hat and grow as an agent while you build a real estate business. You will receive top notch training, personal mentoring, cutting edge technology and support from our team. Finally, don’t listen to all of the doom and gloom! There are tons of opportunities in the real estate industry; it’s just a matter of finding your focus and niche. If you’d like to receive a free copy of my e-book – “Ten Secrets to Becoming a Top Producing Real Estate Agent”, please contact me personally or visit: to request your free copy. The tips I provide in my e-book will give you a jump start and a direction for your career in real estate. Melissa: My advice to someone considering real estate as a career is to explore the industry with an open mind and optimism. Don’t be scared off by what you hear in the media. Talk with those of us who are experiencing success in this market and find out as much as you can from them so that you can decide which area you want to pursue. I recommend aligning yourself with good role models who you can emulate, rather than reinventing the wheel. Success can be achieved in any type of market; the key is to know how to seek out the opportunities available to you, then decide where to focus your energy. Having been someone who used to do it all on my own, but is now part of a team – I highly recommend joining or building a team versus going it alone. Real estate is definitely a team sport and by combining skills, experience and efforts of others, your success can grow exponentially. In addition, you’ll have a lot more fun when surrounded by trusted colleagues and friends!

SDW: Do you want to share any advice about how to take advantage of real estate investing opportunities? Linda and Melissa: We would definitely encourage anyone who is curious about investing in the real estate market to start gathering knowledge about the opportunities available. Aligning with experts in the various real estate investing strategies can help you determine what focus is right for you. Many of the investors we work with started with a consultation about their investment goals. We recommend that you first consider your goals, evaluate what resources you have to put into play, and then establish a strategy that works for you. Some investors have both short term and long term investing goals and employ a variety of strategies. Whether you want to make some quick returns on real estate or establish a portfolio of cash flowing properties – we can definitely point you in the right direction. If you’d like to connect with Linda or Melissa, feel free to contact them directly. If you’re exploring a career in real estate, they’d be happy to share some insights with you. If you are an investor who would like to take advantage of the great opportunities in this real estate market, they are great resources for you. Linda Pasas: 619-977-4650 / Melissa Day: 619-797-LIST / For more information about Nextage Realty, visit:

Looking Beautiful Longer Dr. Melanie Palm is a rising star in dermatology and cosmetic surgery and resides in beautiful Cardiff-by-the-Sea. She is a nationally-recognized speaker on various topics in cosmetic dermatology including injectables, laser technology, and liposuction technology. She is an expert trainer for Sculptra® Aesthetic, training over 40 plastic surgeons and dermatologists on the safety and use of this facial volumizer. She serves as a Distinguished Speaker for Scripps Memorial Hospital Encinitas and is an associate volunteer professor at UCSD. Today, Dr. Melanie Palm shares her thoughts on techniques for facial fillers from the perspective of both a national expert and San Diego woman. We are lucky to exist at a time when so many choices are available for skin and facial rejuvenation. I have a real passion for educating patients and physicians on creating natural, gradual, volume replacement. Women often consult with me after they have had a bad experience from an unskilled injector that took a “cookie cutter” approach to fillers. The key to a successful outcome is having a trusted, skilled, and caring physician to act as an artistic steward through this new age of facial rejuvenation. Delving into the world of cosmetic injectables for facial rejuvenation can be an intimidating prospect for any woman. There are myriad choices when it comes to filler agents, and the choice of one product over another can seem confusing. I felt this article would be an excellent opportunity to explain my approach to this expanding field of fillers. I think of facial rejuvenation in terms of 4 Rs: Resurface, Relax, Revolumize, and Redrape. “Resurfacing” refers to the skin’s appearance. This can be addressed by topical therapies or through light/laser technology such as photofacials (IPLs) or fractionated laser resurfacing. “Relax” refers to using botulinum toxin agents such as Botox® Cosmetic or Dysport®. They soften wrinkles caused by muscle movement, such as the forehead wrinkles or crow’s feet. “Revolumize” addresses facial volume loss that begins around age 30. Various products, from fillers to one’s own fat, can be used to address this concern. Finally, “Redrape” refers to traditional surgical interventions (such as a face lift) that improve areas of redundant skin. Today, in the field of aesthetics, revolumizing is much more appreciated in our approach to facial aging. Temporary fillers like hyaluronic acid (HA’s) (Juvederm®, Restylane®, Perlane®) are considered the gold standard. Other fabulous volumizers exist and truly great physician injectors know how to harness the unique qualities of each. I often combine fillers in different areas of the face to recreate youthful contours, sometimes referred to as a “liquid facelift.” My go-to fillers for correcting hollows under the eyes are Restylane® or fat. For cheekbones, I often turn to Radiesse® or Sculptra® Aesthetic. For lips, Juvederm® or Restylane are great choices. Vertical lip lines are treated with a combination of HA’s and Botox® or laser resurfacing. Sculptra® Aesthetic is an amazing revolumizing treatment that I suggest for patients who desire longer-lasting results or for those who would like to be discrete about improving their appearance. Sculptra® works by causing your own body to form collagen in the area of placement. The results from Sculptra® Aesthetic are long lasting. The volume replacement lasts at least 2 years, and clinical studies demonstrate continued improvement for even 3-4 years following treatment. It can be used to replace volume in most areas of the face including the temples (a much neglected area until recently), cheeks, jawline, nasolabial folds, and marionette lines. Sculptra® can even be used on the chest to reduce the appearance of wrinkles in the décolletage area. I love this volumizer as it rarely causes bruises, gives reliable, natural-looking results, and even improves the texture of the skin. If the need for volume replacement is great and traditional fillers would be an expensive choice, I often offer fat transfer as a treatment option. Fat transfer is an easy, economical, safe, and comfortable means of volume replacement for the face. Fat is harvested from an area of excess fat such as the hip, thigh, or abdomen. The fat is then processed and placed in small aliquots to resculpt the facial contours of the face. Fat transfer is done completely under local anesthetic without a need for general anesthesia. Fat is also an excellent choice for rejuvenating the hands, as it camouflages the appearance of visible tendons and dilated veins. Radiesse®, a calcium-based filler, is another excellent option for adding volume back to the hands. All in all, a lot can be done to enhance a woman’s natural beauty while proactively lessening the signs of aging, and I am thrilled to be an advocate for women of all ages in this endeavor. Dr. Palm offers a full spectrum of general dermatology and cosmetic services in private practice at Surfside Dermatology of Encinitas. A consultation may be scheduled by contacting Sarah Anne in Patient Services at 760.944.7000, extension 6.


San Diego



Happy Catfish Month! By Rob Weinberg

Did you know July is Ice Cream Month? In September we’ll celebrate consumers celebrate. Chicken Month, as well as Coupon Month. Florists will sell more And I LOVE toasting the arrival of Dinosaur Month in October‌don’t nosegays. Nestle will you? make candy nose June is Turkey Lovers Month, which comes right on the heels of Egg rings for kids. Month and Emergency Medical Services Week. VoilĂĄ – instant holiday. OH BOY! Impossible? ConsiderAt our house we just celebrated Juggling Day (6/18) and are still ing this is how Secparticipating in (my personal favorite) Wine Month. retary’s Day (created Sure, we still have traditional holidays like Independence Day. But in 1952), Bosses Day courtesy of the marketing world, you can also now enjoy Grapefruit (1958), and GrandMonth (February); Frozen Food Day (March 6); and Donut Day (June parents Day (1973) 3). began, I think not. Creating your own holiday is where the real marketing action is these Each was invented by days. Who could possibly forget Book Blitz Month (January); Brain a marketing profesAwareness Week (March 12-18) or Picnic Day (April 16)? sional, and are all No, I’m NOT kidding! now as integrated into The mattress manufacturers recognize more beds sell during Better society as Mother’s Day is. Sleep Month (formerly “Mayâ€?). Consumers will buy more junk food Selling a new holiday to the public takes time, resources and a comduring Snack Food Month (February). mitment to proper development and implementation. But I’m guessOf course, “Snack Food Monthâ€? should probably be called “Junk ing that, if handled properly, even “Acne Weekâ€? could be up and Food Monthâ€?, but I’m suspecting there might be a branding conflict running before we celebrate another American Teddy Bear Day. there. Anyone up for the challenge? So should you care about Candy Month or National Tie Month? Perhaps, since you may want to create your own holiday to increase Rob Weinberg is a Madison Avenue veteran and principal of The your company’s sales. Here’s how you might start. MarketBuilding Team – a strategic marketing firm based in Rancho 1) Buy 100,000 nose rings on ebay. Bernardo, CA. You can get his advice through a free newsletter, a 2) Announce online “National Nose Ringâ€? Month is coming in Novem- weekly marketing advice column, or by hiring him as a part-time marber. Have a “Two for oneâ€? sale to encourage holiday shopping. keting executive. You’ll find him online at 3) Announce this national nasal decoration celebration to the traditional media and through social media. 4) Create alliances with related retailers (tattoo parlors, etc.) targeting similar customers. Wholesale your rings to these other merchants to increase your sellthrough. 5) Find events to piggyback on. Note how Dessert Month and National Cookie Month (both October) interact. Get away for a full weekend Networking Meeting will meet the 6) Contact potential colast Monday night of each month! hosted by beneficiaries (i.e. skin cleansers, Kleenex) to Time: 6:30 - 8:30pm promote this “holidayâ€?. Where: Bistro West Restaurant 7) Jointly market the (]LUPKH ,UJPUHZ ‹ *HYSZIHK celebration of all parFor more information go to ticipating businesses to their respective customer bases. Offer a discount July 25, August 29, September 26, on each partner’s merOctober 31, November 28 chandise or services, encouraging cross-marketing to each others’ customer lists. October 28-30 Next year repeat each step. Over five years the Ayers Hotel, Costa Mesa, CA public will accept Na$199 (Includes 2 nights stay & 4 meals) tional Nose Ring Month, Limited space. $50 non-refundable deposit then expect it. Hallmark will create cards to help


Bobbye &Tonilee



Moving On

A guide for family, friends and loved ones in

preparing for the effects of the growing elder population ‌a Public Service from “Those Who Careâ€?

Reviewing three different sources (a Gallup poll conducted in 2008 covering phone conversations with 340,000 people, a study conducted by Queen's University in Belfast, and a study conducted by four researchers at the University of Virginia psychology department and published in The Journal of Positive Psychology), I found some interesting results... Apparently, as we mature and age, most young people (ages 18 and up) consider being "old" as a depressing time in their lives. A time when they can no longer run as hard, drink as much, stay out as long, or think as clearly. In short, younger people tend to think of life as being for the young, with old age as something that will just happen with time - so you might as well get as much out of life as possible when you are able to. If we set aside all the parameters of the studies, the many variables that could be argued, the different methods of collecting data, etc., we find that one perspective rings true: How you perceive aging dictates your level of happiness. In other words, if you face life's inevitable consequences with a positive attitude rather than complaining about everything, you most likely will score higher on all happiness studies. We all know that living through our younger adult years (16 through 25) can be very difficult, with many young adults feeling depressed, lost, and stressed. This can continue through until age 50 or so, when for many adults they begin to settle into a happier state on mind. Mind you, we are not speaking of all people, simply a sampling as conducted by these studies. Yet, it does indicate a pattern that with some education could very well lead to more awareness and, as such, more happiness in younger adulthood as people learn to control their lives. One example from The University of Virginia study shows that cognitive functioning, which many of us think of as a predictor of happiness (i.e., as we lose our ability to think clearly and quickly we must be less happy), was just the opposite. Cognitive functioning was divided into two areas: crystallized intelligence - "what you've learned, memories, your experiences," and fluid intelligence - "reasoning, abstraction, making inferences." Crystallized intelligence was of little statistical importance when measuring happiness, yet fluid intelligence was significant. Fluid

The fact remains, we all will get older, our bodies will wear out, and part of our minds will slow down. If we can convince our younger population to stop smoking, eat healthier, exercise more, and learn to relax; they may experience happiness even before they get old. Youth, in many ways, is wasted on the young. As Abraham Lincoln once said, "In the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years."

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old is terrible: my body is falling apart, I can't remember anything anymore, I need reading glasses, and everything is just harder to do." Well, that may be true, our bodies do slow down and wear out as we age (and even faster if we abused our bodies in our 20's, 30's and 40's with alcohol, drugs, poor food choices, and/or lack of regular exercise). Yet the question remains, does being happy in our old age have everything to do with the physical aspect of our health or does our attitude act as the real predictor of happiness?

intelligence "degrades much faster as people age," which during a younger adult's life span is important, especially as it relates to his/ her ability to work. Yet, as we age and we begin to slow down at work, we have less need to be as "sharp" which goes hand-in-hand with older adults refocusing on developing stronger relationships. So, the slide in fluid intelligence works out well as we age, thus allowing us to be happier emotionally, even though our bodies are slowing down and not allowing us to run as fast or jump as high as when we were younger.


Q: Do We Get Happier With Age? A: If I've heard it once, I've heard a thousand times, "Getting



He Said, She


Are men really from Mars and Women from Venus, as author Dr. John Gray states in his bestselling book? Do men and women really see things that differently? If given the same question could their answers really be so different? At San Diego Woman we wanted to explore the differences between "them" and "us". Read this month's installment and find out how the sexes differ when it comes to communicating with each other. What topics would you like to see us duke it out over in upcoming issues? No topic is off limits, so write me at I can't wait to hear from you!

He Said... Intuition is one thing, but knowing who, what, when, why and where you want things done is the seventh ring in Dante’s Inferno. We’ve talked about similar issues in HSSS before but the frustration level here is an eleven. Guys know how this conversation, from the very first word, will end. “I thought you knew.” “Didn’t I tell you?” There are so many but the capper is “You should’ve known.” Really? You know we are visual creatures – minimally intuitive. Men have come a long way (in matters of the heart) but the rules keep changing. Put a hole in the dry wall and we have a goal. Pipe breaks – we have a goal. Car makes a funny noise - and we have a goal. But if we come home and get ‘the look,’ with no warning, we react without thinking and ask the dreaded question, “What’s wrong honey?” And the gates of Armageddon fly open. Most of my man friends are doers and shakers and well connected to all that is the home front: All duties shared and dispatched as a couple. I read so much about the helpless male, the clueless male, the uncaring male – I don’t know these men. And, the women I know wouldn’t tolerate them. I know there are guys like this just as I know that women can be the same. Communication is always a two way street but I just can’t get over the fact that both have to work at it. The self-help guru’s call it ‘purposeful conversation.’ I call it the ‘what’s up’ theory: A man comes in the door and sees ‘the look’ and asks “what’s up?” and there’s the pause and ‘oh really!’ look and we’re off and running. Men, just state what’s up. Women, do the same. Simple. Uncomplicated.

She Said... Really? You honestly believe that we get angry that you don’t know what is bothering us. It’s not that simple. We get angry that you don’t care enough to know what is bothering us. I think what is even more hurtful is that often what is bothering us is something we have already told you and you pretended to be listening, but you weren’t. For women there are two very important “L” words in our vocabulary, “Love” and “Listen.” If you love us and listen to us it will inspire yet another “L” word for the men out there, “Lust.” There is nothing sexier than a man who truly listens to us and does so because he truly believes we have something important to say. Okay, there are some times when we are a bit dense and perhaps it is understandable that you don’t listen. If it is the ninth inning of a tied padre game and bases are loaded with two outs, it probably isn’t the time for us to discuss what color we should repaint the family room. So yes, women have to know when to pick their spots. I will admit, most men I know are not “clueless” and yes, there has been an overall improvement in our men’s ability to step up to the plate and share the responsibilities around the house. There are some men out there who even cook. So I will give props to men who have become enlightened and realized that if you please your women, they will return the favor. Could women be more straightforward and clearly voice their feelings and opinions regardless of whether or not what we have to say is what our men want to hear? Yes, we can.... well some of us can, but we know if it is not something you want to hear, we will be considered the “b” word. So we have become accustomed to the tactful approach. Sometimes it works, sometimes you get met with the “look.” I think most women would be willing to open up and have “purposeful conversation” as long as you listen when we talk. If this occurs you could forever be freed from the “look.”

Beyond Normal Adolescent Rebellion:

Help For Teens In San Diego By Kathryn Rudlin, LCSW

Fortunately, San Diego offers a vast array of therapists and programs committed to helping teens, and their families. If your teen is exhibiting behaviors you are concerned about it may be time to get expert advice from a professional who truly knows teens. Therapy for Teens Nicole Kahn, MFT, is a therapist in private practice who enjoys working with at-risk teens because she recognizes how “isolating and confusing adolescence can be.” Based on her experience she believes parents need to be concerned about any significant or sudden changes in a teens’ behavior, which she describes as, “not showing up like them self, including a drop in grades, obvious changes in friends or suddenly becoming more isolated or irritable.” She readily acknowledges that changes in mood or behavior are common in teens and that it’s “the extremes” parents need to watch for and be concerned about.” As a therapist she suggests parents try to give teens plenty of space while continuing to engage with them as often as possible. “Keep the lines of communication with your teen open, respect their boundaries,” she advises. She acknowledges this can be difficult and is different in each parentteen relationship. I asked Nicole to discuss how parents can know when it’s time to consult a therapist for help with their teen. She believes supporting teens starts at home and suggests asking other family members for help in talking to a teen having difficulties. Often parents are not equipped to handle teen problems on their own and “a third person is needed to help diffuse the situation and get to the root of what is going on for the teen.”

In considering the final message Nicole wanted to share with parents she said, “Changes in behavior should set off an alarm for parents. It’s easy for parents to feel angry and want to be tougher on their teen.” “Instead,” she suggests, it’s more helpful to get curious, to wonder what your teen is trying to say through their behavior.” Programs for Teens Pamela Hansen, LCSW, talks enthusiastically about providing help to teens at the program where she’s worked for over 9 years, San Diego Center for Children. She echoes the wisdom that “drastic changes in behavior in teens, anything unusual or out of the ordinary” is important for parents to pay attention to. Pamela suggests trying to talk directly to a teen about your concerns, choosing a time they are receptive to doing so. Another option is to get an objective opinion from an adult who knows your teen well. If a parent isn’t sure how concerned to be about their teen consider talking to an adolescent therapist, in order to get their expert perspective and help in identifying what steps to take. “It’s hard not to take things your teen does or says personally and react out of upset or anger,” she points out. “Consider talking to a school counselor, church pastor, or getting referrals from your insurance company or health care provider.” At the Center, one approach to helping teens is to constantly reinforce their positive behavior, rather than focusing on the negative, which can become a habit when teens are making bad choices,

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Teens are notorious for challenging parents, but perhaps the biggest challenge of all is knowing when your teenager is struggling to deal with difficult adolescent issues; struggles he or she can’t manage alone. The teen years are a time of dramatic changes; many experience difficulty, but an important part of parenting this age group is figuring out when your teen is in real trouble.

Nicole has a warm and engaging style, she explained her approach to working with teens as follows: “I enjoy supporting and encouraging teens to make sense of this time in their life. It’s often important to identify what their behavior is trying to express and if there’s a better way to do so.” She involves parents in her work with teens, while being careful to keep her communications with the teen confidential.


Are you the parent of a teenager that is doing poorly in school, threatening to run away, or has become increasingly defiant? Perhaps your teen is anxious all the time, rarely comes out of their room, or refuses to talk to you.



behaving poorly or getting into trouble. A full range of programs is offered by the Center to include 5 day-treatment programs across the county, 3 residential facilities and exciting, and innovative therapeutic programs in music and recreation. When I asked about the residential programs Pam explained that sometimes getting distance from family and peers helps teens’ to evaluate themselves and the changes they need to make. “Often this can help the family communicate better and re-negotiate their relationship.” Continuing to share her perspective on taking care of teens she added, “when in doubt seek professional help. Parents tend to under react because they feel uncomfortable or because of the stigma that is sometimes associated with mental health issues. It’s important to put your ego aside and, do what’s best for your teen.” Music Therapy for Teens Davida Price, IMF, MT-BC is a music therapist and psychotherapist who combined her passion and skills and came up with an unusual approach to helping teens, a method she refers to as “rock and roll therapy.” Through her program, Bliss Music Therapy, she draws on the healing aspects of music and the interest most teens’ have in rock and roll. Listening to and playing music provides a path to “exploring your inner emotions” she explains. “I’ve developed this approach from working with teens in psychiatric hospitals and seeing the positive ways they respond. Teens identify deeply with music and can be very expressive through songs and musical instruments.” I was intrigued by this approach and asked Davida to describe how she actually works with teens through the medium of music. “During adolescence, teens are usually very expressive through music, it defines who they are and who they hang out with – it’s a type of language for them. In therapy it can be used as a tool to get inside their personality and explore their interests, it can be a very emotional process.” From years of experience as a musician, as well as teaching music to others, Davida has seen for herself what research has proven; that music affects every part of the brain, strongly influencing our emotions. Through the use of music therapy she is able to help teens explore who they are and make positive changes. Davida described in more detail how this process of encouraging teens to write song lyrics and create music works. “There are several ways to help teens use language that then unfolds into music. For example, it can be used as a device to feel better; I often help teens develop a ‘theme song’. A song that puts into words who they are and what they like about themselves. Then they can listen to the song anytime they feel sad or need a self-esteem boost.” She continued by describing other ways music therapy can help a teen cope. “Perhaps a teen is angry about a situation. He could write a song, add music to the lyrics and then he could rip it into shreds as a way to express his anger or as a way to let go of some of that anger.” Davida offers individual music therapy to teens as well as groups that use music to explore difficult emotions such as anxiety, depression and anger. ~It takes courage to acknowledge when your teen is having problems. Fortunately you are not alone – in San Diego there are many passionate, qualified professionals close by and ready to help.

Investor’s Corner By Melissa Day and Linda Pasas, Realtors and Real Estate Investors

Women are known for being great at multi-tasking. You juggle many balls in the air without missing a beat. But if you take on too many balls, it can become exhausting – and the thought of slowing down is something you hesitate to consider. So, how can you tackle everything on your “To Do” list and still have time and energy to focus on your real estate investments? Chances are, you decide to work with an “expert” in the field and have to rely completely on their knowledge. That means you have to trust that expert completely – unless you have tools and skills of your own to create checks and balances. The key is…you have to find the time to do this in addition to your numerous other tasks! We highly recommend learning just enough to keep your expert in check. The best way to do this without feeling a need to master the trade is to have tools you can access for a quick check. Below are a couple of free tools you can use to get a general feel for the real estate market and your local area. These will save you time and give you an opportunity to keep juggling your many tasks while still feeling confident about your real estate investments! Get Statistics and Overall Market Data! – An amazing real estate analysis tool. * Save hours of crunching - it is all done for you. * Learn the true profit potential of each flip opportunity. * Know the cash flow and cash-on-cash of any property nationwide. * Easily determine the best properties and financing scenarios. Get Detailed Stats and Data Related to a Specific Property! - Visually see the relational perspective between all things important in your real estate decision making process! * 12+ million businesses * 130,000 schools * Demographics and Statistical Data * Local News and Home Value Reports Enjoy using these free tools to become a more informed investor and you’ll definitely save time and money while you’re at it! For more information about using these tools, contact Melissa Day at: 619-797-LIST or

Women's Work Dear Rhonda, Conflict is difficult for everyone except those who thrive on it and who are often the initiators. It helps to understand that conflict is inevitable, “The absence of conflict is death.” The challenge of conflict is to recognize the opportunity in the exchange and not the threat. Conflict helps us to learn and grow, whether the conflict is within ourselves or in relation to others. Part of the challenge is to notice how your beliefs and attitudes shape your reactions. If you tend to take things personally, you will likely see conflict as a judgment of your words or actions and want to avoid it. Conflict is simply a difference of opinion or ideas, which each of us are entitled to. Not taking things personally allows us to have an open mind in a dialogue with another person and consider new ideas or alternative ways of doing things. Needing to be right in order to feel good about ourselves is another obstacle to learning. Assuming conflict contains the risk of losing goodwill or a friendship is understandable, but mostly avoidable with communication that is clear, honest and shows consideration for the other person. It is always important to acknowledge the other person’s ideas and feelings about a situation: Acknowledging another’s point of view does not mean you agree with them, a common mistaken assumption. To maximize the chances of a conflict being productive, view the confrontation as an opportunity for giving and receiving feedback. Speak from your own feelings and thoughts, using “I” messages. Avoid using words like “Everyone else agrees with me,” “Always” “Never” “You should” or other words that generalize the conversation instead of making it more specific. Also avoid bringing up the past in an effort to “load” your position. Check out your assumptions to determine if they are causing you to predict a negative outcome. This will make you defensive and hurt your chances of a positive result. Lastly, do not wait until you have built up a head of steam before engaging in a confrontation. When your concerns are minimal, you have a much better chance of being objective and resolving the conflict peacefully. Dear Dr. Chosak, I so enjoyed your column in a past San Diego Woman magazine about rearing children and their self esteem. I have copied it and given it to many friends. Thank you! The news is full of it--philandering husbands, and I am one among

Dear Sad, You are to be commended for your sensitivity to your children’s reactions to your husband’s behavior. This has to be difficult for all of you. What you need to focus on is how you can attend to their feelings. A question of “Why” is likely to be masking their own fears and sadness as well as concern for you. So, figuring out a response to their questions is more about helping them bring their feelings out in the open than focusing on “information.” My regular response to parents who are aware of sensitive issues with their children is to be watchful and wait for an opportunity when they might be more receptive to a conversation about what they are experiencing. That opportunity will come when they are asking questions such as you mentioned, showing feelings nonverbally, or acting out in some way. Even if the behavior seems unrelated to the issue, it might be an indirect attempt for them to express their distress. They might ask questions that are general about relationships rather than specific to your situation. For example, “Why do people stay married when they are unhappy?” Or, “How can you know what makes a relationship work?” Instead of addressing the question, encourage them to talk more. For example, “That’s an important question. Can you tell me more about what you are thinking?” After giving them as much time as possible to express themselves, you can ask, “When you see the relationship your dad and I have, what feelings come up for you?” The goal is to allow them to get their feelings out without judgment or cutting them off in any way. Ask open-ended questions that can’t be answered with a “yes” or “no.” When they express themselves, repeat, summarize or paraphrase what they are saying without any of your own comments. This is called “active listening” and is one of the most valuable tools we have for effective communication. Often you will find after a discussion like this, the questions will go away. Questions are often an indirect attempt to express or understand one’s feelings, especially ones that begin with “Why?” If the questions persist, see if you can encourage them to express more. As a last resort, getting back to your question of how to respond to “Why do you stay?” or anything similar, your answer should be simple: “The relationship between adults is complicated, and I realize it is difficult for you to understand at your age. As you get older, we can talk about this more. In the meantime, just trust that I am making the decisions that work best for me and our family.” Then allow them time to respond and continue to use the active listening skills described above.

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I have a difficult time at work dealing with conflict. My usual method is to avoid it at all costs and run away. It has gotten to the point where my effectiveness and productivity is suffering. I’d like some ideas on how I can handle this better. –Rhonda in Mission Valley

many women who have experienced the humiliation of a philandering husband. But my question is not about me. It is about my children. They are pre-junior high and as much as I have tried to keep it from them, they have made comments that make me realize they are aware of my husband's infidelities. I can sense they are angry and hurt by his flirtations. If and when they do ask why I stay, etc., how do I handle the subject? --Sad in Carlsbad


Dear Dr. Chosak,

By Shelli Chosak, Ph.D.

Please send your questions to:


Bitchin’ & Moaning

Crazy Days of Summer

By Judith A. Habert

In times gone by we all looked forward to the “lazy days of summer,” and many of us still do. That is unless you are a driver in San Diego during the summer months. Some things cannot be helped, like the influx of tourists who visit each year to revel in our beautiful city. But the one thing that has come to be true is that the lazy days of summer have become the "crazy days of summer." It all starts in June with the San Diego County Fair in Del Mar. Do not even attempt to go anywhere near the Via de la Valle exit on the 5 freeway - especially the first weekend or on July 4th closing day. One year, having realized that the fair had almost passed us by, our family decided to visit the fair on the 4th. A huge mistake… We spent 2 hours trying to get off at the exit, had to park in Peru and had to wait 35 minutes to get a shuttle

Tape Bubbles By Jennifer Foultz

Tape bubbles were the way to go. When you have terribly entitled new neighbors that go around kicking other people’s things, one must resort to tape, specifically tape bubbles. A morning work-out at the Coronado pool, keeping my core muscles tight while watching boats float by on the bay, is the most peaceful way to see that the rest of the day’s choices will be guilt free - starting with a huge mocha and spinach and egg omelet bagel. This work out and caffeine combo leaves me on a relaxed high and smiling, I deposited my water shoes by my front door and entered my apartment. This feeling clung to me as I puttered through my to-do-list and was almost out the door again to do a little shopping when I looked down and stopped short. My shoes had been kicked over to rest right in front of my door. I looked at the spot that I had left them to see if they had blocked my neighbor’s door or entrance, but they hadn’t. Giving the newly arrived strangers the benefit of the doubt, I didn’t want to automatically assume that they were the type of people that are fine with going around and kicking decent, hard-working people’s things, I picked them up and moved them back. Upon returning home, through a handful of bags, I saw that while out and about my shoes had been beaten up a little more and were right back in front of my door. I moved them back.

36 to take us to the fair. When you finally breathe a sigh of relief you hear the horns sounding and see the hats going by, and you know it is time for opening day at Del Mar Racetrack. Once again all businesses in the surrounding vicinity become off limits and you need to restructure your life around the race days and times. That leaves part of the Coast off limits - and then it gets even worse. Comic-Con arrives and the downtown area is infiltrated by Captain Americas, Avatars, Harry Potters, the Green Hornets, and Mr. Spocks. Not the real ones of course, but the many devoted fans that travel from across the country to pay homage to their favorites at this star studded event. The costumes are scary, but what is even scarier is the traffic. In addition there are various downtown summer time events including the LGBT Pride festival that took place at Balboa Park in mid July, which had its own list of popular personalities in attendance. I must admit that this year the gas prices, which traditionally go up each summer in Southern California, have actually gone down this year. But is this because the price of gas just couldn’t possibly get any higher? Being originally from the East Coast there is one thing I never quite understood: With the weather rather consistent year round here, why is it that no one in San Diego will do any “summer” type events once the summer is technically over? You go to the beach in July or August and you can’t find a parking spot. Go to the same beach the first week of September and it is like a ghost town. So if the weather and conditions are good year round, why couldn’t some of these special events be spread throughout the year and make our life a little easier? Recent news reports told of the oncoming “Carmageddon,” in Los Angeles. The closing of the 405 horrified the LA area and everyone stayed locked up in their homes to avoid being stuck in traffic. It turned out to be nothing at all since hardly anyone was on the road due to the warnings. Perhaps the locals in San Diego need to follow Los Angeles’ lead and stay home during these high traffic months. After all we have all year long to enjoy the great weather.

As I headed out for the third time, on my way to see a friend, I was amazed to find the shoes had been further assaulted and shunned to the center of my doorway. All the way to the Balboa Park art studio I mentally wrote imaginary notes to my neighbors explaining the many issues being displayed by their shoe-kicking obsession. Who kicks other people’s shoes? Especially, shoes that were innocently set aside and in no way blocked their door. I played out scenarios where I kicked their car and said, “When in Rome, do as the Romans.” I even tried to imagine laughing as I said this and the whole time just madly kicking away. Tape was a much better solution. My artistic, mischievous friend listened to my frustration and suggested that I tape the shoes down to their rightful spot next to my door. If nothing else, they would have to put more effort into the whole thing. On a high note, the force of their issues might have them falling all over themselves when the water shoes didn’t move as easily as the previous times. I decided on tape bubbles to add an element of surprise. After rolling up packing tape and sticking eight tape bubbles on the bottom of each shoe, the shoes were then placed carefully back in their spot. I must have checked on the status of those shoes five times throughout the evening, but found no satisfaction until the morning. I was rushing out to my classroom when I noticed the tape bubbles spread around the carpet between my door and the neighbor’s. The shoes were moved, but had only made it about half way to my door. I laughed aloud all the way to my car. Tape bubbles.

Allison Maslan

Helping Turn Dreams Into Reality

San Diego

I had the wonderful opportunity to meet and talk with Allison Maslan, entrepreneur, president of Blast Off Business and Life Mentoring, and author of the book “Blast Off! The Surefire Success Plan To Launch Your Dreams Into Reality”. Allison Maslan went to Arizona State University and studied journalism. She started her own business, Expressions by Ali, when she was about 19, where she wrote personalized poems for birthdays, anniversaries, and other special occasions. Since then, she has built nine companies in San Diego, and has done everything from advertising and personal relations to mentoring and business coaching. She has also been a homeopathic physician for the past 15 years and when her clients began to hear about all the businesses she was growing and how she became successful and happy with life, they wanted to know her secrets, which led to her mentoring and coaching programs. Allison began her career in the advertising world, where she found great success in a male-dominated field. As a working mother with a young daughter, her successes were tempered because it was the only time in her career when she felt like she was treated differently as a woman: However, she eventually became tired of the constant stress. With so many deadlines, she felt herself becoming a workaholic, and then experienced a car accident that was a huge wakeup call. Allison realized that the path she was on wasn’t the path she wanted to take in her life. With a huge leap of faith, she left everything: She left her marriage, her career, and started fresh. In her new path in life, Allison finds much more happiness and balance. She loves being independent and able to express herself and her ideas in new and creative ways. In her words, she enjoys entrepreneurship because it is the “most natural and powerful way to express your gifts and help people live better lives. It’s rewarding. To take one idea and see it burst and manifest into something much bigger and make a huge impact is very exciting”. She described feeling successful as always being able to create something: When she’s setting goals and meeting them is when she feels truly successful. Allison spoke fondly of her father when asked about her mentor. He built the largest privately owned chain of women’s clothing stores in the U.S. in the 60’s through the 80’s. She recalled a time when she was twelve, sitting in the car with her father when he asked if she knew how to start a business. When she said no, he replied, “All you have to do is print a business card”. When she got a bit older she realized that he was telling her if there’s something you want, you have to create it yourself. She took this pearl of wisdom and ran with it, and has implemented that advice into every facet of her life.


By Taryn Bates

Allison has also created a better balance in her life. She makes time for herself, and her husband, and especially her daughter, who she’s now very close with. She scuba dives, takes time off, and even flies on the trapeze! She is involved with Habitat for Humanity on a business level: A portion of her book’s proceeds goes to Habitat for Humanity. On a more personal level, she and her husband travel to Mexico to help build houses for Habitat. A portion of her book’s proceeds also go to San Diego Dress for Success. Creating the balance in her life with her family, her business, and her own personal time was very important after her experience in the advertising world. She has more support now with friends and family, and especially a group of women who all understand each other. She acknowledges that, “the road is easier when you have support. I would not be where I am today without the support of mentors and friends”. Allison loves the idea of a women’s magazine for San Diego. She believes that women need a place to connect and feel like others understand their point of view. She knows that men and women communicate differently, and agrees that it’s important for women to have a place to turn to where they feel understood and can relate with other women. Allison is happy with her business ventures and her life now. Though she believes that if she had known what her true passion was earlier on, it would have saved her a lot of headache and heartache, which is why she now centers her life on helping others discover their true passions and how to pursue them. She believes colleges should teach students to pursue what they enjoy, not just what pays well. Allison Maslan is a wonderful example of how to practice what you love and balance your personal and business life, and pure creativity. Visit Allison's website at



Woman San Diego

Advertise in San Diego Woman With 91% of all purchasing decisions made by women, why not go right to the source. Advertise in San Diego Women. Contact us today at 254 E Grand Avenue, Suite 201 Escondido, CA 92025 760.738.8700

For a media kit with special rates and information contact us at Photography Submit local photographs that depict the beauty of San Diego. Photo credits will be proudly displayed with your pictures. Letters from our readers make us smile! Share your thoughts on our articles and include suggestions for future topics. San Diego Woman is your magazine, we want to hear from you!

We have a New Blog!! Come visit the latest addition to our website The San Diego Woman Blog! Simply go to our website at and click on the blog link on the left of our homepage. We want to hear what you think about everything and anything. We will be looking forward to seeing you there.

Woman San Diego

The Older Generation: How does it happen? One minute I had a little girl swinging my hand and chattering excitedly about everything in her life. Then it seemed like the next minute the little girl turned into a teenager with a cell phone attached to one ear, an i-Pod to the other, and eyes firmly glued to the computer screen as her fingers flew over the keyboard (Yes, I freely admit these were all purchases her Dad and I made for her- but, that’s another story that would be titled, “Tired Parents Worn Down in the Battle against Consumerism”. Anyway, as a teacher and a parent of an only child with a sunny disposition, I never imagined the day would come that sunny would turn to stormy. It truly seemed to happen overnight. Chirps turned into occasional snarls, and giggles turned into rolling eyes. But every once in a while, when I least expected it, I would hear the deep throated chuckle of the happy baby that would come out of the adolescent throat, reassuring me that my child hadn’t entirely disappeared into the dark cave of teenagerism. One day, a handwritten sign appeared on her bedroom

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Talk to meYou won’t understand Tell me what’s wrongYou never listen I love youYou don’t care I need you to listen to meI don’t need you anymore I want you to be safe I can take care of myself You’ll always be my babyYou don’t want me to grow up I love you, even if you don’t hear itI love you, even if I can’t say it

Younger Generation: My mother and I are very similar. We’re both people pleasers, both writers, and both addicted to chocolate. But there are certainly things we’re not so similar in… technology, for example. Every time she wants to retrieve a voicemail I have to write it down step by step for the billionth time. The television remote is constantly handed to me with the words, “Oh, you do it!” She’s afraid to use a computer in case it breaks. Still doesn’t know how to program the time on the stove, and is even hesitant to put gas in her car by herself. I saw more differences between us when I was a teenager. I got frustrated when she didn’t understand things like Facebook or cell phones. I felt like we had more differences than anything else. But after growing up a bit, I see more similarities. She does understand me, regardless of what my fourteen year old self said during an argument. She’s been in my shoes, and understands my point of view. I guess since she understands me more than I give her credit for - I can write down voicemail instructions a few more times…


Generation Gap: Counterpoint By Deanna and Taryn Bates

door- “Hating Life- Do Not Disturb”. After the written sign was shredded in a moment of teenage angst, I learned to read the physical signs that sent the same message. I felt hope until I entered menopause. Menopause and adolescence at the same time? I was distraught, so I made a sign for my bedroom door when I needed a break. “Hating Life- Do Not Disturb” (Well, if you can’t beat ‘em, you might as well join ‘em!).



Babykakes by

Kimberly Souliere

Babykakes by Kimberly Souliere

I received a BFA in Costume Design in Massachusetts and an MBA in California, while always continuing to make clothing just for myself. I would go shopping with something very specific in mind, but was frustrated that I could never find it. So, whenever I had an event to go to that would require a new outfit, I would just end up making it for myself. Family and friends started noticing and making their own requests for a dress or top for their events. It has slowly grown, and when I started working at a boutique in Santa Monica, the owner instantly wanted more of what I was wearing. This really propelled me into designing and sewing full time.

Diego WSan oman

I learned to sew when I was 11 with the help of both of my grandmothers and my mom. I always spent time reconstructing clothes I bought from the thrift store, experimenting with fabrics and outfits along the way. I was a dancer for 20 years, designing a few of my costumes, my graduation dress, and my prom dress. I was a Costume Designer all through college and worked in Theatres and Opera houses. My designs are definitely influenced from both of those times in my life. My dresses always have a bit of fun movement to them, as well as attentiongrabbing colors and prints.

I have designed a small collection of specialty items; dresses , skirts, tops, sweaters. I hand make all of the dresses using small quantities of fabric that I select based on how soft, colorful, and appealing they are. Fabric colors and patterns are always changing, depending on what catches my eye and it is rare to find more than 6-12 of any dress. There is a spot in every store for my look. My customer is the woman that is looking for a dress that stands out for an upcoming party, wedding, cruise, honeymoon, vacation, or trip to Vegas. She doesn't want to walk in and see someone with the same thing on as her. She can be confident that while wearing my dress that scenario will not happen. Most pieces are versatile and can easily go from day to night by changing from flip-flops to high-heels. Please log on to to find current stores that carry Babykakes by Kimberly Souliere.

Models: Alexis Coons & Georgie Santos Makeup & Hair Cydney Hernandez



Lighten Up: How to Get Rid of Dark Circles By Joanna Pompilio

Whether it’s from staying up late, feeling over-worked, or from too many late nights out, under eye circles are something that every busy gal has to deal with,” according to Maggie Ford Danielson, Benefit Trend Makeup Artist.

enough hydrating benefits. A light eye cream, like Murad’s Renewing Eye Cream, that does double duty and targets puffiness and dryness, will eliminate the need for layering multiple creams.

In most cases, dark circles under the eyes are really tiny blood vessels that can be seen through the skin. The skin around the eyes is the thinnest in the body so as the blood passes close to the surface it can produce a bluish tint. However, many other factors can contribute to the appearance of dark circles such as poor circulation, deep-set bone structure, increased alcohol consumption or lack of sleep. Dark circles can also be a fact of heredity. But not to worry, in a few simple steps dark circles can be a distant memory.

“Under eye products are not just something for night - they can be worn under makeup during the day as well,” advises Perdis. Look for skincare products that boast plenty of antioxidants and plumping agents like collagen. Caffeine in eye creams can also help to reduce swelling.

Prep Work The first step to tackling dark circles is prepping skin. “The first essential product for prevention of dark circles is a gentle and effective cleanser that removes makeup without being harsh and drying to the delicate skin around the eyes,” maintains Dr. Rolanda Johnson, Senior Scientist P&G Beauty. Remember that face wash should leave skin feeling moisturized and refreshed. Try a gentle cleanser, like Oil of Olay’s Total Effects Nourishing Cleanser or Skin Ceuticals Gentle Cleanser, to moisturize and cleanse while still fighting the signs of aging. If skin begins to feel tight or sore, this is an indication that the wash is too harsh and damaging. Unpuff Next, eliminate puffy eyes, as they often go hand in hand with dark circles. “Darkness and puffiness are no strangers to me and so to win this particular war, I like to treat my morning puffiness with something cooling,” remarks Ford. “Chilled cucumbers and even a cold cloth can do the trick. But when I have my de-puffing eye gel, I know I am in good hands. After de-puffing, it’s time to battle those dark circles.” Apply a depuffing eye gel, like Bliss Baggage Handler, by gently tapping the under eye area with fingertips to improve circulation and eliminate any excess fluid. Keep Skin Hydrated and Protected The most important step is to keep skin moisturized and well balanced. Skin hydration is a key component to ridding eyes of dark circles, according to Dr. Lori Brightman of the Laser and Skin Surgery Center of New York. “Hydrating the skin with a good moisturizer plumps the skin cells which lessens the visibility of the blood vessels underneath skin.” The “plumping” of the skin Dr. Brightman is referring to helps conceal the blood vessels that induce those pesky dark circles. Use a moisture rich sunscreen like Boots No. 7 Advanced Hydration Day Cream, as sun causes pigmentation that can actually make dark circles under the eyes appear even darker. “Women often make the mistake of treating the area around their eye with their full face moisturizer,” Dr. Johnson describes. “Having a targeted eye treatment product that is formulated for the eyes and to minimize the appearance or prevent dark circles is very important as the product will have ingredients tailored to provide the desired benefits and would have been tested and proved to provide the specific benefits around the eye area.” Shop Smart Before beginning a makeup routine to conceal dark circles, perform some due diligence: There are so many under products out there, and each one claims to be the ultimate remedy. Napoleon Perdis, Creator of NP Set, suggests clients read the ingredients closely, experiment with samples and make sure products have

Perdis also warns that loading on too much eye cream at night can make eyes appear puffier the next day. He cautions to apply product on the bone and not too close to the eye. Apply Concealer the Right Way Now that skin has been prepped and moisturized, makeup can be applied. “Using thick, heavy textured concealers will draw attention to under eye circles rather than disguise them. Instead try using a sheer, light textured color corrector,” warns Jemma Kidd, Makeup Artist and Creator of JK Jemma Kidd. “Neutralize bluish undertones by using a pink, peach or yellow shade, focusing on the inner half of your eye where the shadows will be darker.” Find a product that does double duty, like Becca’s Compact Concealer, combines two highly pigmented formulations in one compact. Use the medium coverage side and apply sheerly for broad coverage, including the eyes. Use the extra-cover version for spots and blemishes that require heavy-duty coverage, as this formulation is more opaque and has a heavier, drier consistency. “Don’t count on foundation to do the work of a concealer. Often people think their foundation does it all but in fact, dark circles present a challenge even for foundation,” advises Lizz Starr, Executive Director Origins Product Development. Choose a concealer that is not too white, like Benefit’s Erase Paste, as a concealer that is too light will just draw attention to the area. Always use an eye cream before a concealer to ensure the look is natural, and smooth – not dry and crêpey. Apply foundation first then concealer. Pat in the concealer with your ring finger from the corner (hollow) of your eye outwards. Line Up Pay close attention when applying mascara. “If you have under eye darkness, lining only the lower lash line or applying mascara to the lower lashes can make you look even more tired,” warns John Hernandez of Bobbi Brown Artistry. “Instead, focus on your upper lash line and lashes, and sweep a pop of bright pink or peach blush on your cheeks which will help draw attention away from any darkness and give an instant lift to the face.” Keep It Light Apply makeup with the goal of taking the emphasis away from dark circles and making eyes look bright. “The key trick for me is to really prime the skin including eye area, apply a great concealer, a great foundation or tinted moisturizer, lots of pink or rose blush,” advises Petra Strand, Makeup Artist and Creator of Pixi. Then “lift” the eye by using an eyelash curler daily, highlight brow bones and inner and outer corners of eye. Lots of lifting mascara, like Urban Decay’s Big Fatty or Bobbi Brown’s Extreme Party Mascara, and nobody will notice a bit of darkness under your eyes! Keep your makeup light, natural and fresh, not too much of a smoky eye or too much eye liner as this will just enhance the darkness and make the whole area look dark.”

Caring for our Veterans when they need us most

Our team of hospice professionals deliver a personalized program of care that meets your specific needs. Some of the services we provide include: � Regular visits by members of the hospice team wherever a patient

calls home

� Medications, supplies and equipment related to the hospice diagnosis � Personal care, grooming and companionship � Emotional support and guidance for the patient and their family

Please contact us. We are here when you need us. In addition to our Veterans Program, we offer unique programs including � Ohr Ami, The Jewish Hospice Program � Healing Touch � Aromatherapy � Simple Gifts


San Diego



Judith A.Habert is currently the Publisher/Editor-in-Chief of San Diego Woman. She is a humorist and teacher. Judith is a published author and a respected photojournalist. She is the founder of multiple magazines and the coach of many new writers. Judith has been the winner of many awards for publishing and writing. As a gifted public speaker, and teacher, she is in demand for many venues. Some of her most requested topics include: Speaking engagement topics •Books are the New Business Card •Hone Your Staff’s Business Writing Skills •Writing for Your Target Market •So...You Want to be a Writer. •How to Survive Adversities with Humor. •Motivate Your Staff with Laughter. •How to Successfully Promote Your Business

Hands on Seminars & Classes •Anyone can Publish a Book •How to Make Money Writing Online •So...You Want to be a Writer •Working With a Writing Mentor •Start Up Your Writing Career •Writing for Magazines •Writer’s Workshop

Find out more at or call 858-735-5301


A Whole-istic Approach to a Woman’s World

Don't Go It Alone San Diego Woman partners with to provide valuable caregiver information

In addition to juggling a career, family, finances and managing a household, many women find themselves adding another n i Jo time-consuming task to their e in onl y seemingly endless list of a responsibilities: taking care of tod /LHS[O ‹ 9LSH[PVUZOPWZ ‹ :WPYP[\HS >LSSILPUN ‹ *HYLLY ‹ -PUHUJL ‹ *VTT\UP[` 3PML ‹ an elderly parent. -HJL [V -HJL 6USPUL :VJPHS 4LKPH 5L[^VYRPUN ‹ 6WWVY[\UP[PLZ 6\[YLHJOLZ The statistics are staggering: More than 40 million people ^^^ ,]LY`[OPUN >VTLU JVT ‹ are caring for an elderly loved one; one out of every four households has a caregiving situation; and 66% of those caregivers are female. Recognizing a substantial portion of the magazine’s audience is in a caregiving role, San Diego Woman is partnering with the leading online resource for caregivers,, to provide valuable information and resources to its audience – many of whom are shouldering the responsibility for the care of an elderly parent. San Diego Woman will dedicate a portion of its website to caregivers, with articles, news, caregiving tips and information provided by Half of all women have some degree of uterine or bladder Headquartered in Naples, Florida, prolapse in the years following childbirth. For most women these is an online community that conditions remain undiagnosed and untreated. connects people caring for elderly parents to other caregivers, personalized information, and local resources. More than 200,000 caregivers visit the website each month to get personalized information on topics ranging from elder law and financial planning to elder health care and medicine, as well as gain access to a comprehensive directory of senior living and elder care services, Sudabeh Moein, M.D. and including assisted living, nursing homes, home Scripps Mercy Hospital present:  care, and adult day care. was born out of the realization Incontinence and that there was no centralized resource for inforPelvic Organ Prolapse mation on managing care for elderly parents. got its start in 2007 after Publisher Friday, August 12, 2011 Joe Buckheit watched his mother and mother-in1:15 to 2:45 P.M. law struggle with caring for their elderly parents. at OASIS in Macy’s During a casual breakfast meeting to discuss at Mission Valley Mall their elderly loved one's needs, Joe witnessed Cost $4 the power of two caregivers interacting directly with one another, sharing their challenges, and supporting one another. He formed AgingCare. com to provide a way for caregivers to form meaningful connections with each other, and relate to people who understand exactly what they are going through. Call 1-800-SCRIPPS “We are looking forward to sharing valuable (1-800-727-4777) to register information with the readers of San Diego Woman, enabling them to form meaningful conand reserve your place. nections with each other, make better decisions, save time and money, feel less alone and less stressed,� Joe says.

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No need for silent suffering.

for some reason he never received the certificate. It was his dying wish to obtain his GED certificate. Although he did not live to see it, Penny was able to provide information to his family who was then able to obtain the certificate which now holds a proud spot on the wall in their home. For some it is difficult to understand why those we love chose not to share the experiences, both good and bad, with their family. Many Vets feel that it is a sign of weakness to tell family what they have gone through. They want to remain stoic and not show the emotions of their experience, a skill often taught in basic training. Tauna Austin, Program & Special Projects Manager at LightBridge shared some insight with us. “The stoicism of some of our Veterans is often an obstacle that has to be overcome as well. Some Vets even refuse to take pain medication because they feel it is a sign of weakness. We have learned through our training that we can try to convince them that taking pain medication is something that will make their situation easier to tolerate and it is not a sign of weakness, but we have to then respect their decision if they chose to remain medication free. “ The “We Honor Veterans” program has four levels of recognition (a “star” is added for each level achieved) that participating organizations can achieve to assure that everything possible is being done for the veterans. LightBridge is the only hospice in Southern California to have earned the third star, one of only two in the State of California and well on their way to earning their fourth and final star, currently held by only two hospices in the entire Country. In addition to staff training, volunteer Veterans are brought into the program since they can share personal experiences with the Veterans. There is even a provision for those Veterans who have no family. It is called “No Veteran Dies Alone.” Cindy Hutchinson explains, “This is an 11th hour program for dying Veterans who have no one to be with them at the end. We will call in one of our Veteran Volunteers when we know the end is near and they will sit by the bedside of the Veteran until the end.” We had the opportunity to get a firsthand look into the We Honor Vets program through the eyes of a patient. Craig Gillettte, a 59 year old cancer patient living in Jamul with his

San Diego


If it weren’t for the Veterans of our country we would not enjoy the many freedoms that we do. Thankfully, our country has finally begun to recognize those who have sacrificed so much for these freedoms. One local organization that has really made a statement regarding Veteran care is Lightbridge Hospice & Palliative Care. I was honored to speak with members of their team, and also a Veteran patient who is thankful for all they are doing. With Veterans accounting for one out of four dying Americans, Jill Mendlen, President and Founder, recognized the need and was thrilled to endorse the opportunity presented by this team to step up and get involved with the care of our ailing Veterans. One of these steps included actively participating in the ‘We Honor Veterans’ program developed by the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization in collaboration with the Department of Veterans Affairs.’We Honor Veterans’ is a pioneering program focusing on respectful inquiry, compassionate listening and grateful acknowledgement. At the end of life every individual deserves respect and peace of mind, but for some veterans they were just not realizing it. The main reason was a lack of understanding of the unique situation being faced by these Veterans. Penny Pongun, Medical Social Worker for LightBridge, explained, “’We Honor Veterans’ is a very structured program that teaches our staff how to best serve Veteran patients. It begins with a formal intake assessment of the veteran to learn not only in which war(s) they served, but in which branch of the armed forces. In addition, a critical question as to whether or not their time in the service was a positive or negative experience is pursued.” Many might wonder why these questions would be important when an individual is facing the end of life. Each war had its own challenges and conditions that may have brought about specific illnesses. World War II Veterans were the first servicemen known as “Atomic Vets” serving in a war that utilized atomic bombs. Our servicemen were responsible for cleanup after the attacks on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. When we hear the term ‘Veteran’ we often associate it only with men. In reality over 350,000 of the World War II Veterans were women. In this war the women involved were mostly nurses, and many of them were taken prisoners of war by the Japanese when Bataan and Corregidor fell, and were forced to spend four years as POWs. They and all Veterans who were prisoners of war may face end of life circumstances that bring them back to this traumatic time. Dark spaces or loud noises can trigger post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in a Veteran. Part of the intake assessment allows the caregivers to find out if this is a concern and to act accordingly. Vietnam Veterans have their own set of challenges and consequences from their time serving our country. The most recognized illness deriving from this war was exposure to Agent Orange, the pesticide used to help clear the jungle countryside. Diseases such as soft tissue sarcoma, non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, Hodgkin's disease, chloracne, porphyria cutanea tarda, respiratory cancers, multiple myeloma, prostate cancer, acute peripheral neuropathy, and spina bifida in offspring have been associated with those exposed to Agent Orange. In addition, severe cases of PTSD have been found in Vietnam Veterans. Once this aspect of the assessment is complete, the Veteran will then be assigned the appropriate case workers to care for their special needs. A central part of the team is a counselor who can speak with the patient about their experiences. As Cindy Hutchinson, Director of Patient Care Services at LightBridge adds, “This is the time when the patient gets a chance to share their war experiences. Many patients finally open up about experiences that they have never shared with anyone. Families are sometimes amazed to find out information they never knew.” One of the experiences that Penny will never forget is when she learned that one of her patients had lied about his age so that he could enlist. As a result he never graduated high school. While he was in the service he managed to obtain his GED, but

45 fiancée and her daughter, was diagnosed with stage four small cell lung cancer several months ago. His physician felt that the cancer was progressing very quickly and he should consider hospice. LightBridge came out and did an assessment and took over the case. “My experiences with LightBridge have been great. They have made a very tough time easier for me and my family. If I have questions they are there to answer them, if I need relief from pain they contact my physician and they deliver it to me.” Craig served three tours of duty in Vietnam while in the Navy. He shares how tough it was when he came back and did not receive any recognition for his service. “I am grateful for the LightBridge staff who are there for me whenever I need them. I have a nurse and a counselor who I see regularly. I am able to share my experiences in war with them and it gives me back some of my dignity and pride in serving our country. I got blindsided by cancer and LightBridge has helped me get through it.” Although the connection has not been made by doctors, Craig explains that even though he was not in an area that was sprayed with Agent Orange, he would often go into Da Nang to get barbequed food where their primitive barbeques were the drums which had previously stored Agent Orange. The experience with LightBridge makes the toughest time of life more bearable, not only for the patient, but for their family as well. Even after the end has come for the patient, LightBridge continues to be a source of strength. After the patient passes, the family is given a memory box where they can store special mementos of their Veteran’s service. They also provide bereavement counseling to help them deal with their loss. “We Honor Veterans,” is a wonderful program which allows the Veterans of our country to pass on with the dignity and respect they deserve and we thank LightBridge and hospices throughout the country who have joined in to help pay back our brave soldiers during their final tour. To volunteer or learn more about the LightBridge Hospice & Palliative Care veteran program please call 858-458-2992 or visit

Creating Precious Heirlooms

A Diamond Lasts Forever

For Sherry Coleman and her brother Kam making jewelry has been a lifelong endeavor. When their dad purchased a lapidary company he did not waste any time teaching his children the tricks of the trade. Sherry quickly realized that her talents lay in the business end of the company, while her brother Kam enjoyed using his hands to create masterpieces. Since 1982, when their father opened PAR Jewelry in Rancho Bernardo, this brother and sister team have been working together at a business they love to create a truly unique experience for their clientele. The specialty at PAR is custom jewelry, and they are considered the best in the business. The store is a virtual museum, housing one of a kind pieces created as a result of the imagination, skill, and expertise of Kam. One of the distinctive aspects of this store is the welcome feeling as you walk through the door.

aspect of the design. In some cases the customer may still have difficulty envisioning the finished product so Kam will then create it in wax so the customer can see a three dimensional model before the final product is created. What makes PAR jewelry different is that they take such pride in every item that leaves their store. As Kam adds, “What makes


They welcome those who just want to come in and view the custom work in their showcases. It is not a high pressure sales environment; they simply enjoy the visitors who appreciate fine works of art. Their walls are also covered with paintings from a California artist that Kam discovered while on vacation at the artist’s bed and breakfast in Topanga. In addition to the custom work, there is a collection of estate jewelry and some work from obscure jewelry designers, guaranteeing that if you buy a piece from PAR Jewelry you will not run into anyone else wearing the same design. We was lucky enough to spend time with them learning the process that results in some of the most breathtaking pieces of jewelry we have ever seen. As Kam stated, “Customers who would like a custom creation will come into the store. Some have a definite idea in mind, while others are not sure what they want.” The indecisive ones are a bit harder to work with but Kam manages to create exactly what they want, even if they don’t know what that is. A few essential questions are asked, for instance, what the price range is that they want to work within. PAR will create custom made pieces for whatever price range the customer has in mind. If precious stones are involved they will purchase the stones that meet the designated budget: They don’t keep the stones on site, they order them as requested. The next step is a sketch drawn by Kam which details every

me most happy is seeing customers leave the store and stop to admire it in the sunlight, smiles on their faces, happy with the creation. For many, these pieces become family heirlooms that are passed from generation to generation. It makes me feel proud to be a part of the creation of a family’s treasured belongings.” In the time we spent at the store one thing that amazed us was that everyone who came in was addressed by their first name. we asked Sherry if they knew all of their customers on a first name basis. “Yes, many of our customers have been with us since we opened. There are several for whom we designed their wedding rings and we are now designing wedding sets for their children.” The latest addition to their store is an Estate Sale and Liquidation service, which gives customers yet another chance to obtain a one of a kind piece of jewelry to hand down to future generations. It is this attention to detail that creates lifelong customers; little details like making the bottom of the ring a bit thicker so it lasts longer or tweaking the design until it is exactly what was envisioned by the customer. As Kam says, “We want them coming back to have more custom jewelry designed, not coming back because they are unhappy.” And come back they do, over and over to add new custom designed masterpieces.


Environmentally-Friendly Hair and Skin Care Products It started from a basic need to correct a problem faced by surfers and outdoor lovers alike. Sun and saltwater can takes their toll on hair. Tonic hair care products were developed to help fix this problem. Specially formulated for those who love being outdoors, but do not want to sacrifice a beautiful head of hair, Tonic’s products include Threesometonic which is a 3-in-1 shampoo, conditioner and stimulating body wash. It detangles, protects and leaves hair and skin sinfully clean; Lustertonic which is a leave-in conditioning mist and luxurious body moisturizer made with aloe vera, grapeseed oil and wheat protein for added volume and protection; and The Chronictonic which is a daily shampoo and conditioner regimen specifically formulated for normal and color treated hair. You will not believe the way your hair will look and feel even after a day surfing at the beach. For more information and to order some incredible products visit their site at

The Ultimate Bra Liner It was the July 2006 wedding of her daughter which caused Nannette Frank, a Rancho Bernardo resident, to realize there was a need for a product that did not exist. “We had a rogue San Diego heat wave of 104°. My ‘girls’ were sweating so terribly that the sweat soaked through the front of my dress. The only solution was multiple trips to the ladies room to insert stiff, scratchy paper towels underneath the ‘girls.’ My vow that day was to invent a solution to this embarrassing problem.” And invent she did, after much research and time spent speaking with women, doctors and nurses she learned that in addition to breast sweat, women also suffered from heat rash, yeast infection, and Intertrigo. The Girlease Ultimate Bra Liner solves these problems, because ‘she’ prevents skin-on-skin contact, keeping the ‘girls’ cool, dry, and comfortable. The Girlease Bra Liners are made from disposable non woven material, which is thin, soft, absorbent, 100% natural, comfortable, and made in the USA. For more information and to order Girlease Ultimate Bra Liners go to her site at http://

Drybar Is Now in Del Mar

One of the newest innovations in hair salons just opened in Del Mar and it is taking the town by storm. Co-founder Alli Web, who was trained by Toni & Guy and worked with legendary stylist John Sahag in New York City admits that Drybar was created out of her own frustration with overpaying for blowouts at the salon.

San Diego


If you are looking for something handmade unique and fun, then Unique Accessories by Ms. Formaldehyde is just what you want. Kelly Formaldehyde can create any custom made accessory you desire. She specializes in everything Tiki, Polynesian, Hawaiian, and day of the dead. She also does wedding flowers for all types of weddings. She can be found on the popular internet handmade marketplace, Etsy. Visit her shop at or via email at or by phone at 619 218-5472

Drybar, the premiere blow-dry bar that has captured the attention of thousands of women throughout Southern California with a refreshingly simple concept: “No cuts. No Color. Just Blowouts, for only $35.” Drybar is known for its signature elements including chic décor, cozy tufted Italian seats, marble bars, and flat screens with chick flicks on rotation—all underscored by a custom playlist of carefully-selected music. For those who want to stay connected while being pampered, each station is equipped with iPhone docks/chargers. While getting a blowout, guests relax at the bar while enjoying complementary coffee, tea, spa water, wine or champagne. Additionally, a delicious menu of light bites and sweet treats are also available. The Drybar menu of blowout styles includes the Cosmopolitan (lots of loose curls), the Straight Up (simple and straight), Southern Comfort (big hair with volume), Mai Tai (messy and beachy), Manhattan (sleek and smooth) and, of course, the Shirley Temple (for ages 10 and under, just $24). Hailed by Entrepreneur Magazine as one of the 100 best new ideas of 2010, Drybar has taken women across the country by storm. Visit Drybar, located inside Del Mar Highlands Center at 12857 El Camino Real. For more information please visit


Fa b u l o u s Fi n d s

Unique Accessories by Ms.Formaldehyde



Dear Dr. Sudi, Three years ago, my favorite aunt died of cervical cancer caused by HPV. I’ve heard that there is a vaccine to protect against HPV, and I plan to have my daughter vaccinated. When’s the best time to do that? Can my son be vaccinated, too?

You are right to be concerned! It has been estimated that 75 to 80 percent of sexually active adults will acquire a Human Papillomavirus (HPV) infection before they reach the age of 50, with over half being first exposed between 15 and 25. Most will not realize they have been infected and the infection will clear up on its own within two to three years, although it can also go dormant and later return. On average, 10 to 20 percent of those infected will develop a more persistent form of the disease which may in time develop into cervical cancer. Every year, 12,000 women are diagnosed with HPV-induced cervical cancer. HPV is spread by skin-to-skin contact, including sexual intercourse, oral sex, anal sex, or any other contact with the genital area. People cannot become infected with HPV by touching an object, such as a toilet seat. The only sure way to prevent exposure to HPV is to be in a mutually monogamous sexual relationship. It may also help to reduce the number of sex partners and use a latex condom, which may prevent some but not all HPV transmission. There are many types of HPV that affect different parts of the body, however, not all will present as warts and not all will cause cervical cancer. The good news is that there are vaccines available for the most prevalent types of genital warts. The Gardasil® vaccine helps to prevent the two strains of HPV that cause 90 percent of genital warts, as well as the two strains that cause 70 percent of cervical cancer. The vaccine is given by injection and requires three doses; the first injection is followed by a second after two months, and a third six months later. Your daughter can begin the vaccinations as early as age 9. It is important that the vaccine be administered before she becomes sexually active and has had an opportunity to be exposed to HPV. In general, HPV vaccination is recommended for all girls and women who are between ages 9 and 26 years. And yes, you can have your son vaccinated, too! The Gardasil® vaccine has been approved for use in boys and men, 9 through 26 years old. By vaccinating your son, his female partners will be protected from any infection he might have passed on. The vaccine will also reduce the discomfort of genital warts he might otherwise experience as well as help prevent penile cancer. Be sure to take care of yourself as well! If you are over 26 and have not had the Gardasil® vaccine, be sure to have regular pap smears so that any cervical irregularities can be caught early on.

Photography by Jaime V. Habert

San Diego

Woman 49


Where is San Diego Woman? Our Newest Locations Image Solutions Salon 154 E Grand Avenue Escondido, Ca 92025 760- 741 8483

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San Diego Woman 254 E Grand Avenue, Suite 201 Escondido, CA 92025


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