Woman San Diego
Informing, Entertaining, and Featuring the Women of San Diego
Bringing a World of Flavors to San Diego
Great San Diego Charities Pole Dance Your Way to Fitness Timeless Beauty with Dianne York-Goldman
Dear Readers, It is hard to believe that summer is behind us and school is back in session. Where does the time go? Now that the children are back on schedule, there is some more free time for Moms out there. Perhaps, it is a good time to sneak in that dinner date with your hubby or significant other. When planning a great restaurant for that romantic encounter, we suggest Baleen at Paradise Point. Our cover girl Executive Chef, Megan Reichman will see to it that you experience a memorable dinner. Learn about Chef Megan and her experience as a private chef traveling around the world, prior to settling down in Sunny San Diego. Perhaps you would rather stay close to home and enjoy some new recipes. Check out our delicious collection of recipes from New York Chef, Andrew Springer. Summer may be a distant memory now, but luckily San Diego weather is consistently beautiful year round allowing us to hit the beaches or the hiking trails. The downside is that living in this part of the country, we don’t get those 4 or 5 months to hide behind heavy clothing. So what we are always in search of are ways to stay in shape while having fun. We have discovered a fun way to guarantee the perfect body. Sexy Silhouttes by Sara, is an exotic dance studio where you can learn the health benefits of pole and exotic dancing, while having a blast with all of your girlfriends. They're hot, they're sexy and they are now available on our website. Be one of the first to own our new limited edition "I am a San Diego Woman," t-shirt. Quantities are limited, so order one today. You will love wearing your dedication to San Diego on your shirt. Looking for a touch of tradition and culture in your own backyard? Sit down and enjoy our article on one of our favorite parts of San Diego, Little Italy. Everyone loves a contest, and San Diego women are no different. Look for our contest information and find out how you can win one of the most useful new products our editors have discovered, the Camiband™. Two lucky readers will get their very own Camiband™. With all of the news stories lately about the increase in crime, learn how you can protect yourself with an old world form of martial arts. This is a method you can learn in hours, and not years, gaining a new found confidence in your ability to protect your safety. Are you suffering from health issues and can’t figure out what is wrong? Learn about one of the most often misdiagnosed diseases, Celiac disease. Reading this story may help change your life.
4 Keep an eye out for our upcoming “Healthy Aging Guide” a supplement in our next issue loaded with
information on how to not only live longer, but improve the quality of life brought to you by San Diego Woman and some of the top specialist in town. We are also excited to announce our "Salute to Veterans" in our next issue. Thanks for your continued support of our publication. We love hearing from our readers so take some time to send us off an email or drop us a note, and let us know what you would like to see in upcoming issues.
Judith A. Habert
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San Diego Woman 254 E Grand Avenue, Suite 201 Escondido, CA 92025 760.738.8700 Disclaimer: Products, services, websites or informational packets mentioned within our pages are in no way an endorsement by San Diego Woman, but are provided to our readers for informational purposes only. Privacy Advisory: Personal information provided by our readers will be used solely for the purposes of providing requested information and will not be shared.
Cover : Photograph: by Lisa K. Miller
Graphics/Magazine Layout: Sonali Soni www.sonalidesignstudio.com
September/October 2010 Pg 10
Good Judgement…or Judgemental? You Decide. How Well Do Your Employees Communicate?
Bringing a World of Flavors to San Diego Megan Reichman, Executive Chef.
AMSD Concerts A Venue Reminiscent of the Sixties.
The Power of Friendship Carol LeBeau shares her greatest pleasure.
The Renaissance of San Diego’s Little Italy A Taste of the Old Country in San Diego.
Healing With Words A Writer’s Cancer Journey
Women’s Work Your Questions About Life.
Empowerment through Self Defense Real Combat JKD Teaches Women to Stand Strong.
Are You Prepared to Lose Your Employees? Learn how to Keep Your Employees Dedicated.
Favorite Recipes from Our Favorite Chefs New York Chef Shares his Favorite Recipes.
Fit and Fabulous The Busy Woman’s Guide to Healthy Living.
Celiac Disease The Unknown Enemy.
A Cut Above How to Assure a Good Hair Day.
Sexy Silhouttes By Sara Exotic Dance Your Way to Fitness.
Timeless Beauty Beauty through the Years.
Fall Into Fashion A Fashionable Day for a San Diego Woman
San Diegans Care! Great San Diego Charities.
In every Issue
Letter From the Editor
Letters to the Editor
Women of Distinction A Journey of Healing.
Worst Date Ever And You Thought You Had a Bad First Date?
Ask An Angel Important Answers to Tough Questions.
Bitchin & Moaning It May Just be a Sign.
He Said/She Said Why Won’t He Talk?
Fabulous Finds Share Some of Our Favorite Things.
Cooking With Busalacchi Tasty Recipes from Our Favorite Restaurants.
6 Sonali Soni
Woman San Diego
Judith A. Habert
Behind the Pages
Sonali Soni Creative Director
Robert Tussey Copy Editing
Lisa K. Miller Photographer
Jaime V. Habert Entertainment Editor
Norma-Jeanne Sewell Advertising Account Executive
www.sandiegowoman.com 254 E Grand Avenue, Suite 201 Escondido, CA 92025 760.738.8700
Graphics/Magazine Layout: Sonali Soni www.sonalidesignstudio.com
Judith A. Habert
Shelli has been active in the field of Organizational Consulting and Psychotherapy for the past 25 years, and holds a Ph.D. in Organizational Psychology. She has been listed in Who’s Who in America, and Who’s Who in American Women 858.794.7054 Shelli@4AQualityLife.com
Cynthia has written several articles for local publications and is currently working on her first novel. She has a master's degree in education from CSUSM and is the mother of three sons.
Photography by Lisa K Lisa is the owner of Photography by Lisa K, a custom portrait studio located in Rancho Penasquitos, specializing in the highest quality portraiture. As the mother of twins, Lisa shines at capturing moments in pregnancy and early life. She shares her talents with many local charities by volunteering her photographic services.
Robert has been a published writer for over thirty years and has been providing editing services for the past twenty-five. As a musician he has written scores of songs. His life has revolved around his music and writing, often melding the two into articles and interviews.
Shelli Chosak, Ph.D.
Lisa K Miller
W R I T E R S
Robin Dohrn-Simpson Rob Weinberg Rob is president of The MarketBuilding Team, has written two books on marketing, and authors a free marketing advice column called Ask Mr. Marketing. You can subscribe to his free marketing newsletter at www.marketbuilding.com.
Robin is a freelance writer living in San Diego. She has had her travel articles published online in ezines. When not sitting at her desk she can usually be found exploring the corners of San Diego. Her passions include writing, going on adventures and scrapbooking.
Now find us on: Nichol Kirkland
Jaime V. Habert
Jaime Habert is a local college student and music Nichol is a freelance writer and enthusiast with a flair for native of San Diego. Her travel the creative world. She crosses the lines of stylist, and health articles can be found on the web at ehow and photographer, and editor for our publication and does livestrong.com. Nichol has a bachelor’s degree in Psychol- so flawlessly. She looks ogy and a master’s of science forward to her career in the in Neurobiology. When Nichol music industry in the years to come. is not writing, she is an active member of her church, loves to travel, read, and cook for friends and family.
Letters Editor to the
Your article on Senior women of Distinction was great. It’s about time that senior citizens get the recognition they deserve. Margi from Rancho Bernardo It was so nice to hear from Carol LeBeau again. We miss her so much since she left Channel 10. For so many years I felt as if she was a part of our family, since she came into our living room every evening. Since so many women are facing a life changing transition as Carol did, I found her article insightful and humorous. Thanks for bringing our Carol back! Mary from San Diego Hurray for the Girl Scouts! It was nice seeing some recognition go to such a great organization. My daughters were always involved in the organization and they grew up to be marvelous young women. Lisa from Coronado
I love your new column “Worst Date Ever,” It made me laugh and also made me think about my worst date ever. I am so relieved to be an old married lady now and not have to deal with those awful dates. Mary from Point Loma I love Anthology. It is one of my favorite “night out” spots in San Diego. Reading the story about Marsha Berkson was great. After reading the article I told my husband we had to go back there, so we did and it was even better than I remembered. Lucille from San Diego Your Bitchin & Moaning article was so funny. My kids are exactly the same when it comes to the remote. The article really made me chuckle. Thanks for the laugh, I needed it! Rose from Encinitas
Thanks for the information on selecting a diamond. My boyfriend and I are about to get engaged so I gave him the article to read before he makes his purchase. Thanks San Diego Woman for this valuable information. Sandra from Poway I never thought about who it was behind those great structures in Legoland. Getting to meet one of the artists through your article was so interesting. Julie from Del Mar
L I F E S T Y L E
A Woman’s Best Kept Secret
Congratulations to your Creative Director Sonali on her beautiful baby boy. He is so precious. Lori from San Diego
MEMBERSHIP for San
It is nice to see the women of the military recognized for the sacrifices they make to protect and serve our country. Thank you Tracey, for your dedication to our country. Jennie from Pacific Beach Your article on the Halo Breast Pap Test was so enlightening. There is a history of Breast Cancer in my family, and it is nice to know that there is a new safe screening method to help with early detection. I have already called one of the doctors listed in your article to schedule an appointment. You have done a great service to San Diego Women. Lisa from Solana Beach Jennifer Johnson’s articles are always so informative. I made my two girls read it so they could be sure to protect themselves while they are away at college. Thanks for helping to protect our most precious cargo. Linda from Leucadia
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Woman of Distinction
A Journey of Healing with Dr. Carolle Jean-Murat
I had heard much about Dr. Carolle Jean-Murat, so when without books, if the government deemed it necessary. In I was invited to visit her retreat I thought, what better way Haiti, Dr Carolle was brought up in a caste system where to meet the much talked about Doctor than in her own women were considered second class citizens. Thankfully, natural surroundings. What I found was a beautiful, insight- she grew up in a family that taught her at a very young age ful, and intelligent woman with a passion to help women that she could achieve whatever she set out to do. The find themselves and cure what pains them the most. Dr. support from her family led her to strive to be the best she Carolle (as friends and colleagues call her) is a boardcould be. She decided that she would gain as much educacertified obstetrician and gynecologist, and a Fellow of the tion as she could. She would not let the poverty she grew American College of Obstetricians up in impact her future. She would and Gynecologists. From 1982 to break free, and make a difference 2005, Dr Carolle had a successful with her life. At the age of nine she practice in San Diego, but she realbecame ill, and only due to the caring ized that something was not right in of her paternal grandfather, a well her practice: She decided that the known indigenous healer, was she constraints placed upon her by the brought back to health. This made medical profession were contradicher decide that medicine would be tory to her philosophy for treating her calling, and her way of making a her patients: Where traditional better life for herself and those she medical clinics provided ten minute could help. visits per patient, Dr. Carolle beIn 1993, Dr. Carolle founded Health lieved that she could not sufficiently through Communications Foundation get to know her patients in such a (HTCF), a nonprofit organization, and short amount of time. She believed its prodigy the Angels for Haiti Projthat you were doing a disservice to ects in 1999. In that year Dr. Carolle your patients if all you did was treat joined her role model, Dr. Charles the symptom for which they came Rene, a Haitian-born obstetrician and to your office. The symptoms were gynecologist, on a trip to Haiti along often the result of a much deeper with a group of educators and health problem, and it was virtually imposcare providers to donate free medical sible to discover this in a 10 minute care to the poverty stricken country. office visit. So Dr. Carolle did what Since the devastating earthquake few other physicians have done, Dr Carolle has made several trips to after years of intensive medical Haiti donating her time and meditraining, she walked away from a cal knowledge to help rebuild her lucrative practice to follow her heart. distressed homeland. Dr. Carolle is Today Dr. Carolle brings women to the Earthquake Disaster Fundraising her serene retreat nestled on a hillside Coordinator for Bizoton, Jeremie, St. in San Diego, to help them find themselves and dig away at Louis du Nord, Fondwa, Leogane, & La Vallee de Jacmel, the layers of issues that are literally making them ill. Years Haiti earlier in a conversation with her Dad, Dr. Carolle asked him what he thought it was that she did for her patients. His Dr. Carolle now serves women in the San Diego area by answer was simple and one that resonates with her even helping them to get to the root of what is causing them today. Her Dad told her that the best thing she could do for pain. If you are searching for answers, feel ill or just can’t her patients was to “be a Mirror” so they could look through figure out how to move your life in a positive direction, your it to find what was at the core of their problems. Dr. Carolle answer may be to spend some time with Dr. Carolle at the does this in her every day practice. Dr. Carolle Wellness & Retreat Center for Women of San Aside from the care and guidance she provides through her Diego. The current services she offers her patients include, intuitive gifts, Dr. Carolle has another cause that is close to intuitive medical, gynecological, surgical second opinions, her heart. Having been born and raised in Port-au-Prince, life transition decisions with clarity consultations (by telethe capital of Haiti, Dr. Carolle grew up with little money and phone & in person), plus healing seminars and customized often had to go to bed hungry. The political climate was retreats for women. rough and children were often forced to miss school and go Visit www.DrCarolle.com or call 610-850-5030. September/October 2010
By Judith A Habert
San Diegans Care! One of the greatest parts of being a San Diegan is the enormous amount of caring that is evident in our town. If there is a need, San Diegans come to the rescue. The Staff at San Diego Woman is so proud of the women of this town and the way they work together to help make a difference. We would like to take this opportunity to highlight some of the wonderful charities that have come to our attention recently for the amazing work that they do every single day!
The San Diego Center for Children is the oldest charity in San Diego. As such it has been helping the families of San Diego for over 123 years. Each year they have a wonderful Gala dinner in recognition of the volunteers who work every day to support those in need. Nearly 400 guests celebrated this wonderful cause, raising over $300,000 to help keep this charity alive. The San Diego Center for Children are experts in helping children and adolescents face and heal mental health challenges. The Center often provides a safe harbor for children with no place to go. Their education program is one of the best in the county, and they provide both professional and personal help to children in need. The Center boasts a highly-skilled team of dedicated professionals who know how to reverse destructive behavior in children and help give them back a normal childhood. The Center is in need of donations, not only monetary, but supplies and volunteers. To find out how you can help visit their site at http://www.centerforchildren.org/helpthechildren.html
Annual Dinner Gala Committee
Mary Clark Jerry Sanders and Rana Sampson
Lidia Martinez and Berenice Zamaro
The Friends Of San Pasqual Academy
Fresh Start has truly changed the lives of thousands of children in San Diego, and they continue to do so every day. Fresh Start helps transform the lives of disadvantaged children and young adults who suffer from physical deformities, resulting from birth defects, abuse and disease. Fresh start began in 1991 and to date has provided over $19,000,000 of free reconstructive surgery, medical and dental care to over 5,000 children. They have received presidential recognition for their work and recently received a Congressional Proclamation for outstanding work in the community from Congressman Brian P. Bilbray, 50th District, California.
at the Academy as they prepare for college and/or a career path. Even with all they have to provide to their students there are still needs that are not met. The Friends of San Pasqual Academy help to bridge the gap by providing needed supplies and helping to assure that the student get to have a “real” high school experience. If you would like to help visit their website at http://www.friendsofsanpasqualacademy.org/donate.html to make a donation to the Friends of San Pasqual Academy.
Diego WSan oman
One of the charities we came across in our travels is the Friends of San Pasqual Academy, a non-profit organization formed in 2003 to help assist foster teens of San Diego County in their goal to become confident and productive members of society. San Pasqual academy was created due to a severe shortage of foster homes in San Diego County. With thousands of foster children needing a stable consistent environment to develop academically and emotionally, the need for the Academy was evident. Sadly, the average foster teen will have attended 5 different high schools before the end of his or her sophomore year. With this being the norm, often they become introverted, unwilling to form friendships in the fear that they will soon be torn out of their current environment and placed in another new school, only to have to start once again. They cannot participate in school events, because they are not in any one school long enough to become involved. San Pasqual Academy is the first of its kind in the nation and opened its doors to twenty foster children in September 2001. This school is located in Escondido, near the Wild Animal Park. The 238-acre campus features individual family-style homes, an on-site, accredited high school, a computer for each youth in the homes, a cafeteria, a technology and career information center, an assembly hall, recreation fields, and a swimming pool. Teens live and learn
Fresh start recently joined forces with Rady Children’s Hospital by opening a clinic which provides them with the ability to serve infants, as well as children and young adults. Every six to seven weeks year round Fresh Start Surgical Gifts holds a Surgery Weekend where 80-100 highly skilled professionals provide reconstructive plastic surgery and reconstructive dental surgery free of charge. These events are held at Rady Children’s Hospital and fueled solely by volunteer efforts.
disadvantaged families with no insurance, families where insurance will not cover the procedure, and for any family who would suffer a severe financial hardship if they had to pay for their child’s procedure. What is even more amazing is the level of care that each and every child receives as a participant in the Fresh Start program. Not only do they receive care from the best Medical personnel in town, but upon completion of their procedure they are sent home with an overnight nurse to monitor them for their first night post surgery- and the nurse is a volunteer.
Located in Carlsbad, Fresh Start currently has over 600 local volunteers. They provide services for children from financially
To find out more about Fresh Start or how you can help please visit their site at www.freshstart.org
It was a very unfortunate situation that prompted La Jolla resident, Jon Sundt, to form the Sundt Memorial Foundation. Jon’s two younger brothers both fell victim to drug addictions, and as a result lost their lives. The mission of the Sundt Foundation is to influence the hearts and minds of kids by inspiring them to live drug free reveling in their Natural High. More than 2.2 million youth ages 10-15 across the country have received this message thanks to the work of the Sundt Memorial Foundation. The Foundation spreads its message by use of the Natural High® DVD series, which are distributed free of charge to every school in the country that includes grades five and up. The series speaks to the children by featuring testimonials from drug free musicians and artists. Educators who have viewed the DVD have raved about its content and concept,
proclaiming it to be some of the best anti-drug material available. On Friday, October 22nd The Sundt Memorial Foundation is hosting its 10th annual Gala, “Sunset Splash” at the Scripps Seaside Forum in La Jolla with Tony Hawk as Honorary Event Chair. To learn more about the organization and gala or make a donation, please visit www.sundtmemorial.com or call 858-551-7006.
Worst Date Ever By Nichol Kirkland Dating was never a really big area of my life during high school and college. Being a quintessential nerd, I was more comfortable in lecture halls and cafe poetry readings, than sitting across from someone trying to explain my whole life story in the span of an evening. I was in graduate school when I went on my first date. My friends decided for me that it was time to start dating and talked me into making a profile on a popular internet dating site. I was unenthusiastic but I played along. About two months into this little experiment I met a man that seemed interesting. We talked online for about a week and decided to meet at a local karaoke bar. Before the date my friends warned me that the picture on a profile never looked anything like the real person so I shouldn’t be surprised if some aspects of his appearance didn’t add up. So when I met Todd I wasn’t completely astounded when he was closer to 5’8 than 6’1 as it said in his profile, or that his statement of athletic build was probably something from his high school days and had long since went the way of the Dodo, or the fact that his long hair was now a buzz cut. It did however; make me wonder if my picture was that misleading. We sat at the bar and made small talk over the off key sounds of Shania Twain and Bon Jovi coming from the stage area. He asked me if I sang, and when I told him that I couldn’t hold a tune in a bucket he laughed as he put his name in to sing. When his name was called and the music began my jaw dropped as he started singing an old Beasty Boys song and trying to break dance at the same time, which led to him running into the DJ and almost falling off the stage. When people started laughing hysterically and asking me if I was with “that clown” my first inclination was to quietly get up and run for the nearest exit. When the song finally finished he came back to the bar red faced and breathing hard, his eyes sparkling as he asked me what I thought of his performance. He proclaimed loudly to the whole room that he was known for his mad skills as a break dancer. All I could do was smile and nod slightly, trying not to laugh or cry as my mother’s voice played in my mind, “If you can’t say something nice you shouldn’t say anything at all”. After paying for our drinks we decided to get a bite to eat. At this point I would have said almost anything to get away from the snide stares and loud whispers. He told me that he knew of a great restaurant nearby that made the best soul food in town. He gave me the address and we were on our way. When I pulled up in front of the dilapidated building, at first I thought the restaurant
had been closed (or more likely condemned) as there were only two cars in the parking lot and the windows of the building were so grimy you could hardly even tell the lights were on in the dining room. When Todd pulled into the parking lot hesitantly I got out of my car. I asked him if we had the right address, and he said that we did. I then asked him when was the last time he had eaten at the place. When he told me he had just been there last week, I knew I was in for an interesting experience - to say the least. But coming from California I know that the best Mexican food can be found in small holes in the wall so I was willing to give the place the benefit of the doubt. I realize now that I should have insisted that we head to the IHOP down the street. The cracked linoleum floor was covered with dried food and dirt, the tables were chipped and falling apart, and the vinyl booths had large tears in the seats and a thick greasy film on them. When I pointed out the greasy film, Todd assured me that it was actually the cleaning product they used to sanitize the seats. Hesitantly I sat down and pried apart a sticky laminated menu. It was indeed soul food, and the staff was very friendly and seemed to know Todd by name. Just as I was starting to relax and decide what I wanted to eat I started to feel a tingle down my spine, a tingle that turned into a persistent itch. Trying to scratch my back discreetly I squirmed slightly on my side of the booth while I perused the menu, but nothing helped so I excused myself to go to the restroom and see what was going on. As I lifted the back of my shirt that was now slightly damp from the slimy seats and looked in the mirror I saw that my entire back was covered in large bright red hives! Within fifteen minutes I had hives all over my body. Mortified I walked back over to the table. I had no idea what to say. I was in utter misery and I could feel the rash spreading to my neck and knew it would be on my face in moments. Embarrassed and a more than a little irritated, I told Todd that I was going to have to cut the evening short. From the horrific look on his face I knew that the rash must be showing. I thanked him for the evening and quickly ran to my car to hit the all night pharmacy for some calamine lotion. I never saw Todd after that fateful night, but from the interesting song and dance he performed and the diner he thought was the best in town, it was pretty obvious that we wouldn’t have hit it off. The rash lasted a full week, causing me to wear long sleeved shirts and jeans to work every day in the middle of summer. Needless to say, my first date didn’t go very well. On the up side my friends felt so guilty when seeing me the following day with huge red splotches on my face, they never butted into my love life again. Since then I have met several nice men and have had a few successes in the dating world. But I will always remember the horror of that very first date.
Good judgment…or judgmental? You decide
Businesses needing help sometimes bring in college interns way. for extra hands. The student gets solid experience, employSaid Professor ers keep wages low, and schools can offer something extra Henry Higgins, of value. “The majesty Being inexperienced, students can be forgiven for not recog- and grandeur nizing they’re interviewing for a job, have competition, and of the English must present their best face. language is Though I’ve been a marketing professional for 30 years, I the greatest still understand the youthful drive for individuality and the possession need to express oneself. At the same time I recognize the we have.” He importance of being able to communicate with your audireferred to its ence. “extraordinary, Let’s put it this way; were you buying a jar of spaghetti imaginative, sauce you’d look for a nice package and an attractive label and musical with a brief, effective message. Yet when it comes to job mixtures of searches, many people forget that the same kinds of criteria sounds.” – nice package, attractive label, brief and effective message I agree. – still apply. While potenIgnoring this is a big mistake! tially entering Business owners regularly interview girls with bare midriffs old-fogeydom and pierced navels and guys with huge holes in their ear by making this lobes for publicly visible positions. Except in an environment statement, I where customers are similarly attired, few of these kids are admit being typically hired. depressed that so many people have either ignored or But what of someone who dresses the part and packages forgotten the joys of using language well. And while himself nicely, but doesn’t speak well and can’t communiI appreciate the word “like”, too much of anything is unpleascate the message effectively? ant. ESL classes can help the individual whose primary language Remember this - the boss isn’t the only one whom people isn’t English. But someone who just doesn’t care about consider when thinking of where they will buy something. speaking well…that’s another story. Every employee of a company represents that organization Consider a teenager whom I recently considered for an to the public. internship. He appeared right for the job, but his every third Which means dressing poorly, sloppy hair, questionable word was “like.” I found myself unable to listen to him, and judgment or bad linguistic skills will reflect negatively on ended the discussion quickly. No matter how talented he everyone who works there, up and down the line. may have been, the very idea of listening to him all day long This should explain why business owners concerned with made my skin crawl. their public image will think hard before hiring someone who I’m increasingly surrounded by people saying “like”. It’s a doesn’t represent them well in every way. verbal tic, replacing “um” and “er” in the vernacular. I find it After all, jobs are scarce these days, and an inability to comannoying, and may ask them to say the exact same senmunicate well makes selling yourself to potential employers tence without using the word “like”. If they can’t, I quickly unnecessarily challenging. excuse myself. Employment specialists will advise job seekers to dress My friend Alan - an English professor - likens these verbal nicely, have a resume, and be prompt for their interviews. tics to a hamster momentarily resting on the wheel. Based For me, add speaking well to the list. on his theory, the person repeatedly saying “like” is catching ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------his breath to find the next word. Rob Weinberg is a Madison Avenue veteran and principal of The Given my druthers, I’d prefer the conversation stopped as MarketBuilding Team – a strategic marketing firm based in Rancho he searched for a word. That moment of silence tells me Bernardo, CA. You can get his advice through a free newsletter, a “You’re thinking”. weekly marketing advice column, or by hiring him as a part-time The impression I get is that I’m in the minority on this topic. marketing executive. You’ll find him online at www.marketbuilding. My (teenage) daughter says I’m too judgmental. Maybe com. she’s right. Yet as a communications professional I work hard to say the same thing in different ways. This young man I had contemplated hiring only seemed to say different things the same September/October 2010
By Rob Weinberg
Bringing a World of Flavors to San Diego
By Judith A. Habert Photography by Lisa K. Miller
When I asked Megan Reichman what her favorite dish was, at your table are almost too pretty to eat. Megan’s education there was no hesitation, “Grilled Cheese” she admitted, at Johnson & Wales included a coveted place on their five surely an unlikely choice for the executive chef at one of the member Culinary Team, which traveled across the country top restaurants in San Diego, but true nonetheless. and to Canada competing in Culinary events. Megan’s sly smile made me laugh when she Megan never admitted to her guilty hesitated when pleasure. Megan is deciding upon a the executive Chef at career choice. “I Baleen’s Restaurant, never aspired to be the onsite fine dining a ballerina or any restaurant at Paradise other ‘girlie’ type Point Resort. If you career.” Once she have not already dined was tall enough to at this restaurant, you reach the counter, have no idea what you Megan began exare missing. The menu ploring her love of is varied and includes cooking. As a fifth delectable seafood grader in Massadishes, hearty steak, chusetts she was lamb, and pork entrees given an assignand pasta dishes to die ment to write an for. And let’s not forget essay on what she the desserts. Megan wanted to be when is at the core of the she grew up. This artistry at Baleen. She was an easy task personally oversees evsince she knew ery dish that leaves the that she wanted to kitchen, and all fresh be a chef; during desserts are baked this assignment onsite. she discovered Since Baleen happens Johnson & Wales to be one of my favorand from then on ite restaurants in San she not only knew Diego I have become what she wanted to well acquainted with do, but where she their menu, and the would go to perfect incredible service you her skills. “My time are guaranteed to spent at Johnson receive during every & Wales involved visit. It was an added only improving pleasure to spend some my culinary skills, time getting to know there were no core Megan Reichman, the courses to get in woman behind the the way. It is an masterpieces that came institution that fully to my table. Megan is prepares its gradua graduate of Johnson ate to succeed as & Wales in Providence, a chef or within Rhode Island, the renowned culinary institute where she whatever area of culinary arts they choose.” Upon graduareceived her culinary Associates, Bachelors in food and tion Megan was focused on where she wanted her career to beverage, and a Masters degree in Hospitality Administrago. “When I graduated I had two goals; I wanted to work in tion. The education she received is obvious from the quality an area that was extremely large and I wanted to work on an of her dishes and their artful presentation: Dishes that arrive island.” September/October 2010
Megan received several offers from top resorts and reslocations and I learned so much. I got to go to the local taurants across the country, including the MGM Grand in markets with them and experience cooking some foods that Las Vegas, Nevada. She reviewed all of her options and I previously would have thought were not edible. You go into decided to take an offer from Loews Antole in Dallas Texas. the market there and at some point you feel like you are in a “At twenty-four I ran the banquet center with forty employees pet store. The local chefs use frog, turtle, and eels for many under me. We often did banquets serving 2,500 guests. of their dishes. Experimenting with new flavors and becomAfter some time in this position, I realized I preferred fine ing educated in new areas was a great experience.” dining over the banquet position, so I took a position at their It was at this point a decision was made. Since Kyrie was fine dining restaurant. After two years I left there to work at a Yacht Captain and Megan was an executive chef they the Four Seasons running the fine dining restaurant there decided to join forces to form a yacht management comas well. Mom had just been through a divorce so we depany employing the remaining personnel necessary for the cided we would take a much needed vacation to relax and running of a luxury yacht, and they marketed themselves as regroup.” The choice for location was Hawaii. It turned out a full service team that could do it all. They brought the five to be a twist of fate for Megan, while there she met her future husband, Kyrie Reichman, who was taking a vacation and visiting his Dad who lived on the Island. Megan’s new love was a yacht captain who earned his living sailing Luxury Yachts around the world. Little did she know that this impromptu vacation would forever change her life. When she returned home she received a phone call offering her a position as Executive chief of Pahuia, the fine dining restaurant at the Hualalai Four Seasons Resort star restaurant dining experience to the Yachts they manon Kona. It was at this point that Megan had to smile, since aged. They were soon working on luxury yachts traveling the not only were her graduation dreams coming true, now world. “It was an amazing experience. We saw the world, she would be near her new love. Megan spent an idyllic met incredible people and places that I never imagined I two years in Hawaii Where her culinary skills continued to would visit.” Megan became an expert at exploring local grow. “I had an incredible general manager there who was farmer’s markets and unknown bistros, discovering the local awesome. She was definitely one of my role models. She cuisine and bringing it back to her galley on the yacht: The wanted me to broaden my horizons, so she sent me for yacht passengers loved being able to taste the local delicathree weeks to Thailand, Bangkok, Singapore, and Bali. I cies without having to venture into unknown territory. had the opportunity to work with executive chefs in these September/October 2010
Megan cooked for celebrities, politicians, and even some royalty, having served the Princess of Jordan during one of her trips. It was during one of their exotic adventures that Kyrie popped the question, “He proposed in 2001 on a little island off the coast of Tortola in the BVI/ Caribbean, we were married in California in 2002.” Although it was an extremely exciting adventure the work was not easy. Megan explains, “Often the passengers would return to the yacht after explor-
cooking she loves experimenting with various sauces and combines her creations with her favorite technique of sautéing. Megan is also responsible for every dessert that is served at Baleen and this is one instance where you will not want to skip the dessert. So after having cooked for celebrities, royalty, and even former President Bill Clinton, what is left for Megan Reichman to accomplish? “Maybe one day in the distant future we will sail the world again, maybe one day I will own my own restaurant, but for now I am extremely happy and plan on keeping my feet on solid ground.” Those of us who have had the pleasure of sampling Megan’s masterpieces all agree, we are thrilled she chose to make San Diego her home.
16 ing their exotic destination at 3 or 4 o’clock in the morning and decide they were starving. It was at this point that I would have to prepare full course meals to accommodate their every need. There was often no semblance of normalcy in this life style.” After nine years Megan and Kyrie decided they needed to put down roots somewhere and they started exploring their options. They needed to be near water for Kyrie’s occupation, so San Diego soon became their obvious choice. A visit to Paradise Point Resort inspired Megan to send off an email to inquire as to whether or not they had any positions available in their fine dining facility. Three days later Megan was cooking up a storm at Baleen. Although Grilled Cheese and Peanut Butter and Jelly are two of Megan’s favorite foods, when it comes to her passion for September/October 2010
"Power of Friendship" with Carol Lebeau
I came of age at the height of the women’s movement…an exciting time of new opportunities and challenges for women. Who had time for friends? All my energy went into my budding tv news career. I didn’t need a bunch of emotional attachments getting in the way of my plans. As I remained isolated in my busy life…with no support….I got tired. I got sick. And then I got smart. I slowly figured out that my “plans” had become my best friend! But my plans never gave me a hug…never called to see how I was doing when I was down…never encouraged me when the black clouds moved in and the depression enveloped me. It was then I discovered the importance of friendship. And I’m glad I did! I was tired of going it alone!
Frankly, I got tired of my own company. So over the years I’ve let a few people into my world. Now I have this tiny network of family and friends who really know and care about me….as I do them. We’re quick to take care of our physical health, mental and emotional health…even our spiritual health. What about our relational health? We all have our public “faces” to get by…but there are times when we need to get past the superficial and share what’s really important. That’s what friends are for. For me, last year was a mish-mash of life events…some not so good. But I was never alone. My friends carried me through major surgery, career transition and a bout of the “blues.” I don’t know what the year ahead has in store. But with Julie's help, Susan’s encouragement, Rene’s love and Vicki’s support…I know I can face it. “If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who has no one to help him up.” Ecclesiastes 4:10
Besides, that kind of isolation violates basic human nature. In the end, loneliness will win out… affecting emotional as well as physical health. Dr. Dean Ornish, the grand “poo-bah” of preventive medicine says connections with other people affect not only the quality of our lives…but also our survival. “People who feel lonely,” says Dr. Ornish, are many more times more likely to get cardiovascular disease than those who have a strong sense of connection and community.” And that goes for everyone. Oprah Winfrey is one of the most powerful celebrities of our time. Yet she admits career success does not meet the deepest needs of her life. She speaks openly and fondly about her lifelong friend, Gayle. Oprah admits, “I’ve never had a day’s therapy, but I’ve always had my night conversations with Gayle.” We need one another! We’ve heard so much about “pet therapy” in recent years. Well, it’s true for people too! Just the touch or presence of another can calm us and help lower our blood pressure during stressful times. Sadly, our culture doesn’t encourage the building of close friendships and intimacy. Today’s highly mobile society means more of us are living alone. Technology isolates us even more….and is not a replacement for connections with real people. Can you have a “heart-to-heart” with your Blackberry? How ‘bout your new iPad? It may have just the right “app,” but
As a kid, friends were everything. Diane was my childhood confidante and Barbie doll buddy. In junior high, Mary Beth and I were inseparable. But once I hit high school and found boys… best friends were only necessary when I was between boyfriends! By the time I was halfway through college, I’d become a bonafide loner. Excessive class loads, three part time jobs and swim team practice left little time for more than peripheral relationships.
I ask you… can it give you a hug?
“You’ve Got a Friend.” I’ve always loved the song made popular by both Carole King and James Taylor. I knew the lyrics by heart. But until I hit a few snags in my life, I never realized the power behind those words.
The Renaissance of San Diego’s Little Italy
By Robin Dohrn-Simpson
The Italian Renaissance in the 1400’s gave the world Michelangelo, Da Vinci, Raphael, and Botticelli. It also gave us new art, science, and changed the course of human history. The Renaissance in San Diego‘s Little Italy gave us great restaurants and pubs, really cool architecture and stickball. So, they’re pretty much the same in terms of historical significance. Well, almost. A community since the 1920’s, Little Italy is San Diego’s oldest continuous neighborhood business district. This village in the middle of the city, just east of the airport, is the new hip and cool spot in San Diego. There is always something fun happening: festas, art walks, fine dining, fresh local produce and Italian fare at the farmer’s market on Saturday. A highlight is the funky architecture and colorful facades; mixing traditional design with modern textures. The new trend of urban housing is demonstrated in this area: live, work, relax and eat in your neighborhood. The skyline is dotted with transformed condos as well as newly built ones. Italian Hospitality “I can’t believe that Italians actually live here and speak Italian.” A shopper was overheard saying at the farmer’s market. It’s true; it’s an actual gathering place for real Italians. With typically consummate Italian hospitality, there are chairs lining the sidewalks for you to sit and hang out, visit with friends or just relax. You can lounge in one of five Piazzas (Italian central squares or meeting areas) along India Street, feel the ocean breeze and while away the time. Little Italy Farmers Mercato Start your weekend with a visit to the Mercato. Every Saturday morning, you will find merchants and farmers displaying their fresh produce and Italian delicacies on Date Street. Enjoy the harbor view as you meander from stall to stall sampling and purchasing fresh local produce and Italian fare. Even dogs get a treat here. Sit back and enjoy an Italian coffee and listen to live music with today’s street performers. An absolute must is a Nutella crepe at the creperie stall. The Design District Fashioned after Soho and Chelsea in New York City, with lots of brick, large open doors and windows, the showrooms boast Italian kitchens, furnishings and European tiles. As is typical with most areas of the world, cultures are blended and so are designs, therefore you will also see a beautiful Asian furniture showroom and a colorful French Country store. September/October 2010
Eateries and Restaurants Italy, like other parts of the world, is not homogeneous, and neither is Little Italy. The restaurants reflect the multi-cultural world we live in. You can drink ale at a British Pub, savor sumptuous delights at Extraordinary Desserts, dine at one of many Italian restaurants and enjoy live music at Anthology. Joe & Lisa Busalacchi are well represented with five restaurants and the Cohn family has the Indigo Grill serving New Western Cuisine. All you need to do is walk around and pick one that catches your eye and try it. You can’t miss.
ers and scientists. The possibilities are endless. April is for Artwalk, one of San Diego’s favorite events. India Street is lined from one end to the other with artists’ stalls. Here artists come from all around to show their creativity to thousands of visitors. You can spend the entire day here appreciating art and artistry, and a cold beer or two. May celebrates many things including the love of food with the Taste of Little Italy. Participating restaurants, not just of the Italian variety, offer tastes from their menus. Stroll the avenues, listen to musical performers and sample appetizers, entrées and desserts from the neighborhoods eateries.
Gelato No trip to Little Italy would be complete without gelato. And in the author’s humble opinion, the best gelato can be found at Pappalecco on the corner of State and Cedar. Take my word for it. Search it out. Find it. Enjoy. For more information and to find out dates and times of events go to: www.littleitalysd.com.
Art San Diegans love art and the art district delivers with a fine sampling of artists. Kettner Nights, the 2nd Friday of every other month, is a great way to experience art. You can browse through the businesses and studios on and around Kettner Boulevard and find your new favorite artist. Festas Italians love a good party. That love is reflected in the events throughout the year in Little Italy. Gesso Italiano, over Columbus Day weekend, brings street painting artists from around the globe. The theme of the chalk paintings is traditional art from the old world. Artists offer their creative interpretations of the works of Italian masters, artists, singSeptember/October 2010
Photos by Judith A. Habert
There is an annual 3-day stickball event every Labor Day weekend with teams competing from as far away as New York and Puerto Rico.
And now for something different…Stickball For a little physical fun, Little Italy is the home of Stickball on the west coast. Played on the first Sunday of the month, the season is November through June. Streets are blocked off to cars on Colombia Street, between Beech and Cedar. The streets are taped off to show boundaries. Buildings, curbs, parking meters, signs and balconies are all playable in fair territory. Bases are evidently known but not visible. No one uses gloves and the hitter only gets one swing of the stick to connect with the rubber ball, which he lobs in the air himself. The stick looks like a broom stick with a handle fashioned out of duct tape. Making contact with the balls seems very difficult to the casual observer. Players of all ages are welcome to play. Games take place between 1 and 4pm. Observing this game from the sidelines is a lot of fun.
“Healing with Words" Author Diana M. Raab “That which does not kill us makes us stronger,” these famous words coined by Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche a 19th Century German Philosopher could perhaps be viewed as the mantra of Diana M. Raab’s compelling book “Healing with Words” a must read for anyone suffering a traumatic life changing event. In Diana’s case, the words proved to be true as she dealt with the diagnosis of breast cancer at the tender age of 47. I sat down planning to take a quick skim through her book, after hearing some wonderful reviews of a book highlighting how a fellow writer, and young mother of three, handled one of the scariest diagnosis a woman can hear, “breast cancer.” Instead I could not put the book down. It kept me up late into the night reading word after word, feeling every bit of fear that penetrated her body as she thought about what would become of her children and a husband she loved dearly. A nurse by profession, Diana was not ignorant to her diagnosis or the long road she would have to travel in the hopes of coming out at the end, somewhat whole and hopefully disease free. Certainly, there are many books out there on this subject and Diana’s situation is not unique. According to the American Cancer Society every three minutes a woman is diagnosed with breast cancer. In fact the National Breast Cancer foundation estimates that over 200,000 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer this year and over 40,000 will die from this disease. Perhaps even more enlightening is the fact that one woman in eight either has, or will develop, breast cancer in her lifetime. So why is “Healing with Words” such a unique book? With a disease of such momentous proportions, and so many sufferers scared and unsure what to do next, having a book like Diana’s is truly a Godsend. Healing with Words, takes us through the entire event from original diagnosis to surgery, to trips across the country for second opinions, to the feeling of loss of femininity, to dealing with the return of a feared disease. This beautifully written book is a riveting account of Diana’s ordeal and how she dealt with it in one of the most comfortable ways she could, through her writing. Each chapter captures yet another moment in the process and touches upon some hard hitting issues, certainly the life or death issue, but also a women’s loss of a part of her body due to a mastectomy, a body part that for many women defines their sexuality and sensuality. Diana, not only looks at her feelings, but how these feelings and this disease impact those around her. Would her husband still desire her, could she live without the familiar and pleasurable sensations of having her breasts stimulated, would she ever be the old Diana
again? All of these questions permeate the minds of the breast cancer patient, even if many are afraid to voice their fears, even to themselves. As a writer Diana uses journaling to help deal with the voices in her head and the fears that she needs expressed. For many these fears exist but, they will often suffer in silence not to burden their loved ones, who they know are frightened as well. She reaches deep inside and pulls those feeling out and onto the pages of “Healing With Words” As a reader, whether you have been diagnosed with a similar medical condition or have a dear friend or family member who has, you can feel the fear, the pain, the depression, the exuberance, and the reality of this devastating situation. Like a close friend living through every moment of her ordeal, the reader is elated by the good news and devastated when her life is again shattered by a second diagnosis of another unrelated cancer, multiple myeloma. The format of Diana’s book is unlike any I have come across before, imploring the reader to not only become invested in her story, but to find their own answers to the questions that follow each chapter. Page after page asking poignant questions such as “What was the first thing that you thought of when you were told that you had breast cancer,” “How has breast cancer affected your personal relationships?” “Describe how you feel when you are undressing and looking at yourself post mastectomy?” All of these hard hitting questions encouraging fellow sufferers to express what is deep in their hearts. Diana has found a way to teach those who may not be journaling to learn the art, while dealing with the emotions at hand. This book not only educates, and informs, but it comforts the soul and helps readers to deal with and live through a very scary diagnosis. Healing with words is a must read for any breast cancer sufferer, spouse, family, or friend. Even those who have not been touched by breast cancer can learn the concepts and tools to live through any live, altering situation through the power of words, which can not only heal the heart, but calm the soul.
Women’s Work: Your Questions about Life By Shelli Chosak Phd congenial. In fact, your “former peers” will respect you for it. One of the first steps to take is to sit down with your team and tell them while you have a new position, you expect to continue working with them as a team—without being contrite! Your tone of voice and body language will be an important way of communicating. You need to be clear with yourself about your new position and the responsibilities it entails. You also need to recognize everyone will benefit from the new boundaries you need to set.
Q: I have just been promoted to a managerial position and feel awkward about having to give instructions and discipline to my former peers. I find myself socializing too much and not being able to take a leadership role. A: These are tricky waters to navigate. On the one hand, you have been given new responsibilities and I’m sure you want to do a good job. On the other hand you’ve built a collegial relationship with your co-workers that you want to preserve. How do you demonstrate your managerial skills without offending or alienating the good will? It is possible to set and maintain appropriate boundaries and still be
Setting limits on the kinds and amount of socializing you do is important. Your team needs to see you as someone who is no longer “just one of the girls.” You can share personal information on a “need to know” basis, without providing all the intricate details or participating in any gossip. It’s okay to go out to lunch with your team, just not on a regular basis. You will need to decide how much you value your new responsibilities and to what extent you are willing to modify your social relationships at work for the sake of succeeding in your new job.
Just remember, you are still the same person you were before you were promoted, and you can be a valuable asset to your organization by maintaining the respect and good will of your peers while managing the transition effectively. September/October 2010
There will likely be some envy or resentment from one or more of your former peers which can take several forms, usually indirect. One common way of expressing this is by the other person finding fault with what you do or trying to show you they are better or smarter. Recognize this for what it is and don’t take it personally. Acknowledging their abilities helps, as well as finding something you can agree with, even if it’s minor, will help defuse the tension. Do not apologize if they do catch you in an error. You can say, “That’s a good point,” or, “I’m glad you caught that.” This provides acknowledgement without giving away your position of authority.
This means being authoritative and goodnatured. An effective leader enlists the input of her reports, acknowledging and utilizing their skills whenever she can. Goal setting for example, can be a group process. Delegating regularly is also valuable for both you and your team: It can save you time and empower those you give responsibility to.
Q. I’m a new Mom, and I’d like to know the best ways to develop self-confidence in my child. A. The short answer is to recognize basic human needs each of us has: love, support, and validation (acknowledgement, attention, appreciation). From the earliest stages infants thrive on love, comfort, and cuddling. When they look into your eyes, they need to see a positive reflection of themselves. You can accomplish this by being fully present and not continually distracted. It takes a little practice on learning how to focus and be with them in the moment. As they grow, allow them to experiment and explore in keeping with their mental and physical abilities. Encouragement, along with setting appropriate limits will let them know they are safe to learn about their world and help them to feel more confident. Many parents, out of their great love and feelings of overwhelming responsibility will set too many limits, thereby restricting the child’s ability to develop coping skills. This can take the form of being overprotective or over-critical. The rule of thumb is to do nothing regularly for your children that they can do for themselves. There is a value in allowing your children to learn from the consequences of their own actions, as long as they are able to understand the concept. At each stage of development, their ability to learn from consequences will be different. One of the biggest challenges for parents is to learn how and when to hold firm and when to let go. What often gets in the way is the tendency parents have to modify their behavior towards their children based on their own experiences with their parents. It’s important to recognize that your children are not carbon copies of you,
and what you liked or disliked may not produce the same reaction in your children. When you can truly see your children as their own distinct selves and nourish that uniqueness, it will feed their confidence. A phrase I learned years ago says it all: “We tend to avoid the mistakes our parents made, and in so doing, we make the mistakes they avoided.” As a child, my own mother was very self-centered. She showed little interest in me or my activities if they varied from her agenda. When I became a mom, I decided I would devote myself to showing interest in my children’s lives. When one of my daughters was about sixteen, she said to me one day: “Mom, there’s something you do that I really hate! You never talk about yourself, I’m not getting to know you!” It is helpful to learn about the different stages children go through on their path to becoming adults. Erik Erikson, a Developmental Psychologist (1902-1994), created a model of human growth and development that is the most widely accepted theory on the different life phases and what Is required to successfully master each stage. His system, called the Epigenetic Principle, describes the tasks required at each phase, and how successful outcomes will produce a healthy and self-confident child (his theory continues throughout the life cycle). Understanding these concepts will also help you recognize what is normal and healthy behavior at each stage, and help you to relax when your child is exhibiting normal but distressing behavior If you have questions please contact Shelli Chosak, PhD at firstname.lastname@example.org
Empowerment through Self Defense Every day we read in the paper or hear on the news about horrific acts of violence perpetrated against women in our society. Recent stories of Chelsea King and Amber Dubois have made San Diegans even more aware of how living “in paradise” sometimes gives us a false sense of security. The truth is we really don’t know who is lurking outside our doors, and who might prove deadly to us. Even scarier is the fact that many of us don’t even need to leave the safety of our own home to live in fear. Recent statistics claim that approximately 1.3 million women are physically assaulted by an intimate partner annually in the US. A study conducted of 16,000 participants showed that 25% of women surveyed had been raped and or physically assaulted by a current or former spouse, cohabiting partner, or dating partner/ acquaintance during their lifetime.
After spending some time speaking with Jose it is obvious that he feels very strongly about what he is doing in his business to empower women and to allow them to take back their lives. “The martial arts training taught at REAL COMBAT JKD is designed to empower all people and especially women, to stop living in fear, with low self esteem or in some type of abusive relationship. Many women are still taken advantage of, seen as the weaker sex, or in some type of abusive relationship in almost all cultures. We try to give women the skills and training that when confronted with any fearful situation they will be able to confront it if need be, to put a stop to any type of abuse or threat to them or their children, to stop being seen as a victim and be able to defend themselves from any life threatening attack or rape. At REAL COMBAT JKD we strive to stop all abuse of women.” Aside from the protective aspect of learning martial arts there is an added benefit for the health conscious woman; martial art training is one of the best exercises. While you learn self defense, you are also improving your health, building stamina, increasing your strength, toning your whole body, increasing flexibility, reducing stress and anxiety, and improving your cardiovascular system. Age is also no true deterrent to learning REAL COMBAT JKD. Jose has clients in their 80s who are actively participating in martial arts training and have found it has helped their overall physical condition.
With these statistics in mind, it becomes imperative that all women feel a sense of empowerment by being able to defend themselves in case of attack. Often, simply knowing that you can defend yourself is enough to prevent an attack. If a spouse or significant other knows that you cannot be bullied, and will not take physical violence sitting down, they will often back off and refrain from threatening gestures and physical abuse.
With the increase in corporate travel for women, sometimes to countries with unstable governments, knowing how to protect yourself may make the difference between life and death.
We met with Jose Mier, the owner of REAL COMBAT JKD to discuss this ongoing problem in our society. “Often women are bullied by their partners and they live in fear constantly. This is a gender wide issue, but can be even more prevalent among some ethnic groups in our society. Male dominance is part of their heritage and in this day and age there is no reason why any woman should live in fear.” Jose’s entire business is based around empowering women to take back their lives and feel a sense of security. REAL COMBAT JKD is known to many of us through the styles’ main proponent, Bruce Lee. The difference between this form of martial arts and the various others is that this is a true form of self defense that is easy to learn, fast to remember and extremely effective. Jose adds, “This is the "a similar self defense strategy that is taught and used by all the elite law enforcement agencies and all the military forces. These individuals are trained to deal with real life threatening situations so it is the obvious choice for women who want to protect themselves in everyday life” One of the best parts about REAL COMBAT JKD is that they can train you to defend yourself and/or your loved ones in a matter of days, not years. Their martial art training is specifically designed for real life street violence and to neutralize any attacker no matter his or her size, strength or fighting abilities.
With an economy in trouble, violence tends to increase, often due to frustrations and unemployment. It is more important today than in times past that as women we do not take these threats lightly. By learning to defend yourself you gain the power to not become a victim, another statistic, a casualty, and to never again live in fear. It is better to be prepared and not need it, than to need it and not be prepared. Many corporations have seen the need to provide this type of training to their employees especially if they travel for business. Regardless of what your reason, all women should consider at least a basic course in self defense as a safeguard for themselves and their children. If you would like more information on REAL COMBAT JKD refer to the information below. At San Diego Woman we want all of our women safe and confident in their ability to protect themselves should the need arise, so if you have not thought about it before we hope you will. REAL COMBAT JKD can be reached at: Phone: 619-253-1716 Web: www. REALCOMBATJKD.com Email: email@example.com
A guide for family, friends and loved ones in preparing for the effects of the growing elder population …a Public Service from “Those Who Provided by Visiting Angels Care” America’s Choice in Homecare!™ “Positive Thinking as We Age”
all those around you, a sense of well-being and optimism.
Q: With so many things to stress over nowadays…is it really true what they say about positive thinking making a difference. My father, age 85 yrs. is “Mr. Worse Case Scenario”…maybe some hard facts will turn him around and get him on the road to a healthier lifestyle. Thanks!
"Tai Chi and Yoga for Seniors"
A: Mark Stibich, Ph.D., wrote an article for www.About.com (April 5, 2009) about positive thinking and the aging process. He cited a statistic from a longitudinal study completed in Oxford, Ohio in 1975 (follow-up study in 1998) which asked several questions of a group of participants (660 in number). The statistic showed that those who answered the questions in the affirmative lived an average of 7.5 years longer than those that answered the same questions in the negative. Although no “hard” evidence was used, the results did indicate that people, who lived a positive life, could live longer than those who lived their lives from a pessimistic point of view. And, as seen from the facts below, positive thinking (and a lifestyle, which I will detail a bit later) does seem to have a greater impact on longevity than other common indicators for longer life expectancy: Low cholesterol 4 yrs. Low blood pressure 4 yrs. Healthy weight 1-3 yrs. Not smoking 1-4 yrs Regular exercise 1-3 yrs (Source: Levy, B.R. et al, “Longevity increase by positive self-perceptions of aging.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2002, Aug; 83(2): 261-70.). In a New York Times article on November 19, 2002, “Power of Positive Thinking Extends, It Seems, To Aging,” author Mark Duenwald writes: “Recent studies have correlated long life with optimism, with positive thinking; and with a lack of hostility, anxiety, and depression.” Many factors may have a role in these studies such as: sex, race, socioeconomic status, loneliness, etc. Yet, the one consistent factor (positive thinking) did seem to be a strong level of conscientiousness in those who lived longer. It seems that being competent, truthful, responsible, stable and leading productive lives made the significant difference. Those people who lead healthy lives also fared better than the average in longevity, as well. For example, cooperating with medical treatment, wearing seat belts, avoiding drug abuse, staying active, associating with healthy and stable people has an impact on mortality risk over time. Below are some tips for living longer through positive thinking according to Karen Wolf in www.About.com: • Focus on what you’re thinking about. Control what we think, i.e., replace our negative thoughts with positive thoughts as quickly as possible • Stop letting other’s negative attitudes influence yours. The theory of “birds of a feather flock together” works here • Make a list of all areas of life you want to change, including attitudes • Take time to write strong life-giving positive affirmative statements. Read these statements out loud to yourself everyday In addition to those tips listed above: • Give money to charities • Work out. • And as Winston Churchill said, “A pessimist sees the difficulty in everyday opportunities – An optimist sees opportunities in everyday difficulties. Try to lead your life from an optimistic format and attempt to instill in
Q: Okay…I’ve given up on keeping up with so many of those fast paced aerobic classes. So, what about Tai Chai and Yoga? It seems wonderful, but am I truly going to benefit from something that seems so calm and peaceful? A: Knowing how to fuel your body’s furnace is a great beginning to being healthy. However, without exercise, the rate of metabolism, especially as it relates to those bad things we tend to load up on (chips, sugars, etc.), will never stay ahead of the food we do eat, and thus we will always lose the “let’s be healthy” battle. Yet, even as we age, the need for exercise is always present. The good news is that exercise is not just for the young and the athletic. Tai Chi is a form of exercise founded in the 13th century and Yoga is an Indian tradition; providing both relaxation and a beneficial form of exercise that is enjoyed by both young and old alike. Tai Chi is designed to exercise the major muscle groups of the body in slow, gentle movements, called “The Dance.” Yoga focuses on breathing and meditation to both improve mental, as well as, physical health. However, the real wonder of both these forms of exercise is that they can easily be adapted to fit the more limited physical abilities of an aging population. With the correct instructor and a supportive group (every group for Tai Chi that I have attended was wonderfully supportive); these two activities can be both fun and beneficial. Tai Chi or Yoga can provide very useful results, often, in a very short time frame. In 2006, the University of Illinois performed a controlled study with a group of seniors with an average age of 80. The study showed positive results in approximately six (6) months in balance, energy levels, flexibility and sleep. Numerous additional studies have shown benefits such as reduction in chronic pain, fewer falls, reduced stress, reduced blood pressure and overall improved fitness. Clearly, to get involved in either form of exercise is good for the body and the soul. Yoga, the Hatha form, the most commonly practiced in the US or Tai Chi, the Yang school, the most prevalent in this country, gives the practitioner a renewed “life force.” It is likened to a form of sunshine within the body – a force or power that heightens one’s awareness of the self in your own environment – this increase in awareness of one’s presence helps to prevent falls, as well as, reduce stress. Holistically, these forms work well as preventative measures for overall health. We know that exercise and nutritional health go hand-in-hand, yet as we age, the tendency is to move further and further away from exercise. One reason for this is that we see strenuous exercise as only for the young. However, exercises that offer benefits to our bodies need not be strenuous; they simply need to focus on the proper elements of exercise and the positive results will be forthcoming. Tai Chi and Yoga combine aerobic, strength training, stability and flexibility/balance into forms that are adaptable to all age groups – even for seniors in wheelchairs. So, check out your local community for the availability of either or both of these exercises. Most likely a community center will offer such group classes. See if you, your family, your care recipients would benefit from such a program. I’m betting they would . . . . (Remember to always check with your doctor before doing any new exercise routine.)
ARE YOU PREPARED TO LOSE YOUR EMPLOYEES? By Kathy Weyer M.A.
The war on hiring talent may just be around the corner. Are your existing employees engaged, or are they riding out the rough times until they can find something “better”? There is a difference between being loyal and being fully dedicated to you and your organization, and it may be tempting to move on to what they see as greener pastures. Now is the time to get your employees fully engaged in your business and make them a loyal, firmly engaged part of your team. When things get better (and I suspect it’s coming sooner rather than later) and employment loosens up, you may lose your best people if you’re not prepared. Take stock of who you have and how they have ridden out the storm, and who you want to have with you along the way. When opportunities abound, you can have your employees react either with great enthusiasm to jump ship or a just-glanceat-it-but-look-away attitude. You want your best employees firmly rooted. If you suspect they are not fully engaged or they are not your best employees but you see some potential, there are ways to get them motivated and committed to perform to their best abilities. Call Performance Partners at 858/243-3789 for a free consultation.
Favorite Recipes From Our Favorite Chefs Chef Andrew Springer of SD26, San Domenico New York at Central Park South shared some of his favorite all time recipes with San Diego Woman. Take time to give these a try, they will be the hit of any gathering.
Chilean Seabass with a Peppernata Sauce and Sautéed Spinach with Garlic 2 Onions 2 Red Peppers 2 Yellow Peppers 1 can of Stewed Tomatoes 10 Basil Leaves 2 tablespoons of Sherry Vinegar 1/4 cup of Extra Virgin Olive Oil Salt and Pepper 2 bags of Spinach washed 2 cloves of Garlic Chilean Sea Bass
roast the rice just a little for flavor. You are going to want to heat up your stock and put to the side. Add the stock in three installments. Keep stirring the risotto. Taste the risotto and continue cooking until the rice is soft but still has a little bite. Once this is done add the butter, cheese, zest and sage and stir and put in a large bowl. Once your chicken is done (internal temperature of 165 degrees) cut the pieces of the chicken you desire and enjoy this yummy dish. Beer Steamed Clams with Rosemary. Cleaned Clams Any kind of Beer you love 2 tablespoons of Butter 2 sprigs of Rosemary 2 cloves of Garlic Take a pan and heat it up to medium heat, and add oil and sauté the garlic. Add the clams and the rosemary. Add the beer and butter. Cover and give it a good shake. Steam for about 2 minutes and they are ready to enjoy. Don’t eat any of the ones that don’t open, as this means they are not edible.
Take the onions, peppers, and tomatoes and give them a rough chop. Take a pot and heat it up to a medium heat and add olive oil. Add vegetables to the pot, cover and stew the vegetables. Cook the vegetables for 45 minutes, stirring every 3 minutes. Once this is done start to cook the fish , heat a pan to the smoking point. Add the oil and cook the fish until golden brown (about 5 minutes on each side). As the fish is cooking, take the pepper, onion and tomatoes mixture and add the basil. Put mixture in a blender and puree. Then add the vinegar, oil, and salt and pepper to taste. Add the fish to a plate and pour the peppernata sauce on the fish. Sauté the spinach and garlic in a pan and add olive oil at the end for shine and unbelievable flavor. Roasted Chicken and Lemon and Sage Risotto. 1 Roasted Chicken 2 Lemons (take the zest for the risotto) 1 Box of Risotto 1 pound of Butter 1 cup of Pecorino Cheese 1 bunch of Sage 2 large cans of Chicken Stock Pre heat your oven to 375 degrees. Take the lemons and remove the zest with a zester put to the side , you’re going to use the zest in the risotto. Rub the chicken with salt and pepper, stuff the chicken with the lemons. Put the chicken on a roasting rack and place in a roasting pan. Add a cup of water to the pan, this keeps it from drying out. Roast the chicken for 45 minutes and check the chicken, if not golden brown, cook for another 45 minutes. While the chicken is cooking, get a large pan and add the risotto to the pan to September/October 2010
Bitchin’ & Moaning Sign Off
suppose to guess which days it will be closed and which days it will be open. Or perhaps I should avoid this particular ramp onto the freeway altogether, to avoid my severe case of disappointment when I attempt to enter and find out that today is one of those intermittent days? Sitting above my desk in my office prominently displayed on my bulletin board is a photo I took several years ago, in my days as a promotional photographer for New York Newsday, it simply says, “Lampshade parking here.” Yes, it was found in the parking lot of a lampshade store, but before you could realize what stores were in the shopping center, did drivers wonder why you would want to park a lampshade in this particular spot? The dilemma of signage goes back some time and perhaps is evident with the now famous construction sign which many felt was a severe disservice to the workers at any given construction site. Okay, most of us have heard the negative stereotypes about government employees, but was it really necessary to post a sign claiming “Slow men working?” Perhaps I am just too visual or maybe just insane, but I feel that reform is needed in the sign industry and I am going to start a grassroots campaign to make signs more accurate and less confusing. With that said, I suppose I will just sign off.
I have to admit, I am a bit of a stickler when it comes to signs. Those of you who have read previous issues will note my total annoyance with sign twirlers, but this goes even deeper than that. Sometimes I wonder who is it that is creating these signs that appear all over town? For instance, the other day on a short trip to take our post surgical dog for a car ride, because of course he needs fresh air to get all better, I came upon the latest in a long line of signs that caused me to giggle. Upon arrival at a local shopping area there was a sign prominently displayed at the entrance to the parking area. It read, “we make keys here.” Now, you must be asking why would I find this funny. Well, with my somewhat sick sense of humor, I noted that nowhere on the sign did it indicate where the “here” was. For someone not quite as heads up as me, might they think that the keys were going to be made right there in front of the sign. Or did they realize that the sign was referring to one of 15 stores in the shopping plaza. Quite frankly the sign would have been much more sensible had there been a tiny little man sitting alongside the sign making keys. But, alas there was not, so now you had to guess which one of the stores was going to be making the keys. Another sign that always gets to me is “This ramp will be closed intermittently starting October 15.” Okay, so am I
By Judith A. Habert
Fit and Fabulous: The Busy Woman’s Guide to Healthy Living
By Cynthia Woods
Today’s multi-tasking women have careers, carpools, kids 2. Keep from overeating by following these suggestions: and a slew of activities that keep them on the go. Staying • Don’t skip meals. Wait until you are truly hungry before you healthy should be a top priority, but these hard-working ladies begin eating--even if it’s mealtime. Try to listen to your body are so busy taking care of everyone else that getting fit befor signals; if you eat when your body isn’t hungry, you won’t comes a last priority. Here are five easy strategies for incorbe able to tell when you’ve had enough. porating healthy living into anyone’s busy lifestyle. • Cut down the size of your proportions. Your stomach is the 1 Five minutes size of your fist, and a fistof exercise every sized portion is about all you two hours. “That’s need to eat at each meal. all it takes to slow • Don’t snack; develop the the aging process fine art of passing on snack and prevent weight foods when you aren’t gain,” says exerhungry. You can walk by that cise guru Terry candy dish and not take one Bowers, a fitness (oh yes you can!). expert whose clients • Drink a large glass of wainclude many of the ter before and during each doctors and scienmeal. Water will help you to tists at the National feel full. Besides, it’s great Institute of Health. for your complexion. Studies show that two hours of inacFast food, empty calories, tivity releases the and stress eating are some stress hormone corof the biggest reasons for tisol into the body. increased weight and deCortisol is a necescreased energy. “There is sary hormone that pretty much no way around is produced by the this one,” Bower’s says, adrenal system and “if you want to lose weight gives us that spike you’ll have to cut back on of energy in times calories. Planning your of stress or fear. But meals is one way you can too much will cause make sure that you won’t weight gain, internal overeat.” organ stress, premature aging, and a To keep from overeatsuppressed iming when you are bored, mune system. Daily stressed, or feeling emoexercise keeps the tional, here is a suggestion; adrenal system make a list of five things you functioning effilove to do that don’t involve ciently and reduces food, like scrapbooking, the overproduction reading, drawing, knitting, of cortisol. etc. Instead of eating for The good news is stress, boredom, or emothat you don’t have tional fulfillment, reach for to do an extensive one of your hobbies, and if workout for it to be they aren’t available, take effective! “Exercise is cumulative,” say Bowers, “Every hour a 5 minute walk first or do lunges from the refrigerator to the or two take a five minute walk, jog, or do some housework cabinet. It may not stop you from overeating, but it will at or gardening. You’ll have completed the equivalent of a full least temporarily divert you from food. workout by the end of the day. Not only will it keep stress hormones at bay, but the diversion might keep you from reaching for that doughnut!” September/October 2010
shortcut and just automatically travel the old, long way. But if you keep reminding yourself, eventually the shortcut will become second-nature and only during moments of fatigue or stress will you forget to take your new route. 5. Keep a gratitude journal. It’s easier to recall all the things that went wrong in your day than to remember what went well, but thinking positively will bring about some positive results in your health as well. Grateful people are happier, healthier have better developed immune systems, sleep better, have better relationships, have an easier time accomplishing goals, and are better equipped to handle setbacks. How can we be more grateful? • Each night write down at least three things you are grateful for, but don’t let this become routine. • Make it a practice to thank everyone for everything. • Write a letter to someone who helped you out but didn’t fully thank. If possible, read it to them in person. It takes 30 days on average to create a new habit. If tackling all five seems to be too much, start with one. You can handle most things for 30 days even if you don’t think you could do it for a lifetime. Exercise, a healthy diet, more sleep, positive thinking, and gratitude will not only make you look better, but you’ll feel better, be healthier, and have more energy to handle the multitude of tasks you tackle each day!
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3. Get plenty of sleep. Whether or not you have kids - the end of the day is often the only time a busy woman can find time for herself It’s tempting to stay up late to unwind, finish tasks around the house, or even watch a little late night television. But research has determined that sleep deprivation can lead to weight gain. When the body doesn’t get the recharge it needs from a good night’s sleep, it goes into stress mode. This activates stress hormones which can have negative effects, including; weight gain, a compromised immune system, and stress to internal organs. Even without changes to the metabolism, studies have shown that tired people are more tempted to reach for that sugary treat to maintain their energy level. They also skip the gym on their way home from work and pick up fast food so they won’t have to cook! Most adults need about seven to eight hours of sleep each night, yet the National Sleep Foundation reports that a third of adults get no more than six and one-half hours per night. Make a point of getting to bed a little earlier each night. You’ll feel better and you’ll look better too! 4. Change your thinking. Your perception is your reality, so you must visualize yourself as healthy, fit, and attractive— then believe it is true! Studies have shown that mental imaging is one of the most powerful tools to changing your life. The idea is that once you convince yourself that you have these attributes, your mind goes to work turning your belief into a reality in the same way a computer uses a search engine. Affirmations (“I’m a sexy, healthy, vibrant woman and I love exercising!”) really work and here’s how: Imagine every single day for ten years you travel the same way to work. Then someone shows you a shortcut. At first you forget the
Celiac Disease The Unknown Enemy
Photos by Lisa K. Miller It’s not a sexy disease, and it therefore gets little recognition. is that it is not always easy to determine what foods conMost people have never heard of it, and those who have are tain Gluten. Gluten is found in all forms of wheat (including generally unsure what the symptoms are or how to tell if they durum, semolina, spelt, kamut, einkorn and faro.) It is also might be suffering from it. Those who have it (and know they found in grains such as rye, barley and triticale. Unfortuhave it) are finally relieved to know that there is a cure for the nately, one of the problems is that food manufacturers don’t years of suffering they have endured. always provide the necessary information on their ingredient Only lately has Celiac Disease received any real recognilabels and Gluten can easily hide among “safe” foods. tion, thanks primarily to Elizabeth Hasselback of ABC’s “The View,” who has mentioned on several shows that she is a So why isn’t this disease better known, and better undersufferer of this disease. It is estimated that currently one in stood? Primarily because many of the symptoms are similar one hundred thirty-three to other diseases, so people in the United States those struck with Ceknow they have Celiac Disliac disease may blame ease. However, there are other reasons for their approximately two million suffering. Some sympAmericans who have the toms include recurring disease and do not even abdominal pain, chronic know it. It is also believed diarrhea or constipathat if a family member tion, unexplained weight suffers from this disease loss or weight gain, or the likelihood of being unexplained joint pain or struck with the disease at fatigue. (See the sidebar some point in your life is for a more thorough listone in twenty-two. ing of symptoms) So what is Celiac Disease Can you live a normal and how do you know if life with Celiac Disease? you have it? Celiac Yes, as long as you avoid Disease is a lifelong the intake of Gluten digestive disorder that products. Luckily life has affects both adults and become easier for Celiac children. The main culprit sufferers thanks to those in this disease is Gluten. who have realized the When foods are eaten need and created Gluten containing Gluten a toxic free products. Deanna reaction occurs that affects Smith of Gluten Not Inthe small intestine. It is the cluded Bakery in Esconvilli, or tiny hair like dido is one of these inprojections in the small dividuals. Ironically, she intestine that are responsicame upon her desire to ble for absorbing nutrients help Celiac sufferers for from our food that become a very personal reason, damaged in those “My cousin’s four year suffering from Celiac old daughter Karlie was Disease. When villi are diagnosed with Celiac damaged they cannot disease and life suddenly effectively absorb basic became miserable for nutrients. If left untreated, her. She didn’t underCeliac Disease can be stand why she couldn’t chronic and life threatening join her friends for a causing a large number of possible nutritional and immune peanut butter and jelly sandwich, or why she couldn’t enjoy related ailments. the cupcakes or cookies that all of her friends were eating at Many people don’t even know what Gluten is or what foods birthday celebrations.” Karlie’s mom had purchased some contain it. Gluten is the common name for proteins found in Gluten free bread and cakes for her, but they were tasteless specific grains. The tough part about regulating this disease and Karlie wouldn’t eat them. September/October 2010
Deanna, who had never baked a loaf of bread in her life, decided she had to find a way to help get Karlie through this ordeal. Deanna started to experiment with Gluten free recipes, and before long was producing bread that Karlie loved. The word spread and she was soon making extra loaves for neighborhood kids with the same gluten intolerance. That was when it dawned on her that maybe she should open a bakery and make her products available to Celiac Disease sufferers throughout the county. This is when Gluten Not Included Bakery was born. You can purchase their products directly on their website, at their location In Escondido, or Whole Foods, Seaside Market, or Major Market, with more locations coming soon. Ironically, it turned out that Karlie did not have Celiac Disease, but thanks to her false diagnosis other sufferers now have a place to turn for tasty treats.
Below is a listing of some common symptoms of Celiac Disease. Consult your physician to obtain testing to verify that your symptoms are a result of Celiac Disease as many other diseases have similar symptoms. • Recurring bloating, gas, or abdominal pain • Chronic diarrhea or constipation or both • Unexplained weight loss or weight gain • Pale, foul-smelling stool • Unexplained anemia • Bone or joint pain • Behavior changes/depression/irritability • Vitamin K Deficiency • Fatigue, weakness or lack of energy • Delayed growth or onset of puberty • Failure to thrive (in infants) • Missed menstrual periods • Infertility male & female • Spontaneous miscarriages • Canker sores inside the mouth • Tooth discoloration or loss of enamel
Did You Know?
Celiac Disease is a serious illness, but if properly regulated those suffering can live a normal life. If left untreated there are some serious diseases such as Iron deficiency anemia, early onset of osteoporosis , gall bladder malfunction, liver disease and rheumatoid arthritis that may develop. Blood tests are available to easily diagnose this disease, though you must be currently including gluten in your diet for the test to be effective. If you suspect you might be a sufferer consult your physician.
How do I know if I have Celiac Disease?
He Said, She Said Why Won't He Talk? By Robert Tussey & Judith A. Habert Photo by Lisa K. Miller
Are men really from Mars and Women from Venus, as author Dr. John Gray states in his bestselling book? Do men and women really see things that differently? If given the same question could their answers really be so different? At San Diego Woman we wanted to explore the differences between "them" and "us". Read this month's installment and find out how the sexes differ when it comes to communicating with each other. What topics would you like to see us duke it out over in upcoming issues? No topic is off limits, so write me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I can't wait to hear from you!
I did a straw poll of about fifteen men friends (of varying I have to say that you do have a point. This is probably one backgrounds, educational levels and cultures), asking the of the hardest counterpoints that I have had to face to date, question, “Do you get accused of not communicating with because I, like many other women are guilty of the accuyour wife/girlfriend?” Their answers weren’t surprising: sation. It is tough for women as well. Especially women They went from a meek, ‘yeah,’ to, “Are you kidding me?” It of a “certain age” brought up in a time when women were seems that no matter what a man says it is not an answer or expected to speak softer than men and not always voice statement you ladies want to hear. We ask where you want our true feelings. When asked “where would you like to go to go for dinner and you say you don’t care. Once we’re eat?” I still have trouble voicing my preference. Why you there…you know the rest. Vacations, weekend getaways, may ask? Personally, as barbaric as it might seem, I was groceries, the list is endless and we wind up the culprit: raised to feel that if the man is paying, he should make the We’re controlling, manipulative, insensitive to your needs, decision. I would not want to pick a pricey establishment and worst of all we don’t love you because we…again, you that might be a burden, but quite frankly I have gotten into know the rest. If you want to talk – say so. If you want direct answers – say the habit of not deciding even if I am footing the bill. Is it so. If you’re angry – say so. We cannot read your minds culture, upbringing, manners? I am really not sure. Maybe just as you can’t read ours. Our lives are more complex and it comes from bad experiences, having picked a place and busy today than they have ever been. This requires cogent the man in my life finding fault with every aspect of it from communication both ways. food to service. So if I don’t pick, I can’t be blamed if it is In the last decade women have started more businesses: horrible. You are the new entrepreneurial leaders. More of you are graduating from college than ever before and are leaders When it comes to communicating effectively between of industry and Supreme Court Justices. The millennium sexes, well that’s an entirely different situation. Women belongs to you yet you hang on to the old cliché of ‘you sometimes talk about everything, ad nauseam, men don’t. men don’t talk to us.’ Perhaps it’s because we’ve tried for Well, most men don’t. Do women feel the need to talk decades and the results haven’t changed. Perhaps it’s just about every element of their life out loud? It appears that easier to nod our heads. But none of us want that. Therapists will tell you that communication is a two way way. But why? Personally I think it stems from insecurity. street. Do you listen to us, or just hear us (the old maxim, if a We are always fearful of making the wrong decision. If we man is in the forest and says something, is he still wrong?)? get five other people’s opinion before we make a decision We are simple creatures and will do anything for our ladies and it turns out to be a bad one, well then we don’t have to (Alright, football season can be a bit of a stretch) but you take the blame alone. Throughout history there was rarely have to keep the playing field level and put away some of a time when women had to appear strong and unwavering the old female stand-by attitudes. Understand that men in their decision process. don’t need to say as much about a subject as women. We’re not wired that way. We can buy shoes in ten minutes – and be happy about it. September/October 2010
to be a couple, to be part of a relationship, we now expect to be brought into those decisions and asked for our opinions. To women it is a sign of intimacy, of trust for the big strong man to care what the woman in his life believes. We want to be heard, and we do want to hear you. So don’t be so tough on us. We truthfully are only trying to help. And when we bring you with us to pick out shoes, don’t just grunt and tell us to make our own decisions. We can’t buy shoes in ten minutes; we often need a committee to decide. But one promise we can make is that we won’t ask you to accompany us on our shoe buying excursions during football season.
Hell, before making dinner each evening we even ask our mates what they would like? We know what we want to eat, so why do we ask? We ask because we care. And that is why we complain when men refuse to communicate. We understand that you men out there are big strong creatures, who do not need help from anyone, but we also realize that this attitude is often to your detriment. Most of us have grown up with strong men in our lives, whether it be fathers, uncles or assorted relatives. These men made decisions, acted upon them, and whether they were right or wrong they handled the outcome by themselves. Well when you sign on
A Cut Above Have you ever walked out of a salon feeling like a movie star? Or maybe just the opposite…wondering what exactly just happened. There are a few things you can do to ensure the latter never happens again. Also, keep in mind
By Ashley Gaudet
that the person who does your hair color does not necessarily have to be the one cutting your hair. A few tips… Get a good reference: Your sister, your yoga instructor and the lady standing behind you at the grocery store all have different networks than you. If you like their hair, don’t be shy! Ask for a name and number. Women love compliments and feeling useful. You can always go into a salon and ask if they have a stylist who specializes in your situation in particular. Never feel that you only have one option or that you are obligated to take the first available stylist. Get ideas: Collect pictures of styles you like, keeping in mind that working WITH your hair produces far better results than working AGAINST it. Try to focus on pictures that have hair that is similar to your type/texture. That said never forget that magazine hair is not always the most realistic. It has been prepped, styled and digitally retouched by pros. Keep your expectations reasonable. Go for a consultation: A good stylist will always take 10 minutes to talk to you. Their attention should be sincere and undivided. At this point bring the pictures to show them and dress how you normally do. (It is easier for him/her to get a feel for your style when you wear an outfit that fits your taste) be honest with the stylist about the amount of time and energy you are willing to put into your hair. If you decide to book an appointment….
Go in early 10 -12 hour days are common for Stylists. Get them while they are fresh… don’t wear a bulky shirt and sit up straight with your legs uncrossed. (It keeps your shoulders even) Ask questions and let them know your hair dilemmas. A good stylist can and should be in a position to educate and provide solid direction. After the cut If you thought the hairdresser was pretty good but not great try, try again! Communication improves over time and the better he /she knows your hair the better the cuts should become. Invest in the tools and products recommended. They will simplify your routine and give you fab results! And last but not least don’t forget to have fun! Beauty should not be a burden and a carefree confident attitude can be a woman’s greatest asset. Relax and enjoy the journey.
“ I work with women who are ready to heal and want a healthy path to a quality life.” Dr. Carolle Jean-Murat, M.D.
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AMSD Concerts San Diego’s music scene is eclectic, mainstream, quirky, and aggressive. It reminds me of Los Angeles in the sixties. But most of the venues don’t cover all of these bases: They are more concerned with covering their bottom line with over-priced merchandise, liquor, and what passes as food, relegating the music to a distant third in the race. The music and concert industry is in horrible shape driven by greed and absolutely no concern for the artist or fans. With so much talent on the road today there is only one concert promoter who places the music and the space to hear it above the rest; AMSD Concerts ran with integrity and gravitas by Carey Driscoll. This is a place to listen to the music in an intimate atmosphere with other like-minded people unfettered by alcohol and lousy food. You’re not going to hear Chickenfoot or Slipknot. What you will hear is an eccentric blend of music that will stretch your boundaries, expand your aural horizons, and take you down memory lane (visit Carey’s website, ADMSconcerts.com to view all of his upcoming shows and a list of who has been there). The concerts are held in a ninety year old church, pews and all, just off of Adams Avenue in Normal Heights. The acoustics are perfect, creating an atmosphere that envelopes you with sound and warmth. Carey is a life-long musician who has a great love for the artist. He’s retired and seven years ago started AccousticMusicSanDiego (now simply, AMSD) with the idea of putting the music first and providing a place for myriad artists who, in Al Koopers words, “never get invited” to San Diego. With such acts as Livingston Taylor, Janis Ian, John Sebastian, Chad and Jeremy, and Jesse Winchester (plus many more) coming to AMSD, it is time for you and your friends to see these acts in what feels like a living room atmosphere where music and history ARE the point of the show. Since the music and artist and the venue are what AMSD is all about, Carey says that after seven years and 380 shows he can’t understand why “so few people will come to such a great place to hear music – HEAR it, not… all the idiots that talk nonstop during the entire show.” And he has a money back guarantee (read about it on his site). Folks, NO ONE offers that. But that’s Carey Driscoll and AMSD and a confidence that you will not be disappointed and will return for more shows. Visit his site at AMSDconcerts.com; you will become part of the family. September/October 2010
By Robert Tussey Photography by Richard Dowdy
There is Nothing Like Being a San Diego Woman! Now you can let the world know! San Diego Woman Magazine announces our limited edition "I am a San Diego Woman," t-shirt. Visit our Website at www.sandiegowoman.com and order your t-shirt today
Woman San Diego
Informing, Entertaining, and Featuring the Women of San Diego September/October 2010
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Sexy Silhouettes by Sara
By Jaime Habert
accompany any moves we would make as we encircled the pole. As the class continued, we were introduced to many techniques and moves that would ultimately create the routine. These moves included spins, dance, and floor exercises. With a few moves more challenging than others, there were frequent outbursts of laughter at the failed attempts to master the techniques. Throughout the class, Sara was encouraging and helpful; always making us feel comfortable. With such an amazing teacher, Ashley and I were able to learn the routine and perform it at the end of the class. Sexy Silhouette’s “Introduction to Pole Fitness” class was both challenging and empowering. Above anything else, I have never had so much fun exercising. With such a great experience, I had to know Sara’s story. Sarabeth has always been a dancer, but her first exotic dance and pole fitness class wasn’t until she took a semi-private session with a friend of hers in December 2007. It began as a class purely for fun and Sara, obsessed with the new fitness regime, decided to turn it into a career. She became so passionate and dedicated to the craft that she wanted to become an instructor, forgoing her former accounting position to pursue her new focus. In December of 2008, Sara made a trip to Las Vegas where she would obtain her certification. From this trip, Sara was certified as a Level 1-4 Pole Dance Instructor. When she returned to San Diego, she opened the doors to her studio on March 1, 2009. Not content on being educated in just one field, in April of 2009 Sara returned to be certified as a Lap Dance Instructor. Her business grew quickly and on February 11, 2010 Sexy Silhouettes became accredited by the Better Business Bureau. The speedy growth of the business can be attributed to Sara’s vision of empowerment through pole fitness. The mission of Sexy Silhouettes is to empower, inspire, and motivate women through the grace and sensual movement of exotic dance and pole fitness. Sara helps her business achieve this goal by using a supportive nonjudgmental atmosphere that promotes self-confidence, beauty (both inside and out), and strengthens the well-being of the everyday woman. It was refreshing to find that many of the former stereotypes associated with Pole Dancing and those who would participate, have been totally dispelled. Sara’s students include women of all sizes, shapes, ages, careers, education levels, backgrounds, and personalities. One look at the values of this
As someone who is rather unadventurous in the fitness realm and also somewhat inhibited, I was both nervous and excited when I was given the chance to experience a class at Sexy Silhouettes by Sara on Miramar Road in San Diego. Sexy Silhouettes is an exotic dance and pole fitness studio founded by Sarabeth S. Sulio. There are many misconceptions about Pole dancing. The easiest way to describe the art of pole dancing is that it is a combination of gymnastics and dance which burns calories, builds and tones muscles, and makes you feel sexy while doing so. Apprehensive about the class, I figured that there may be safety in numbers, so I spoke with several of our contributors and staff to see if they might want to come along on my adventure. Due to scheduling issues, and some less than
adventurous personalities, I found only one of our contributors, Ashley Sasaki-Curtis, willing to accompany me to my scheduled class. To my surprise, our experience was unforgettable and enlightening and a whole lot of fun. From the moment you step foot into her studio, Sara’s warm welcome and joyful demeanor put you at ease. The studio, splashed in a calming shade of purple and lit gently by floor lamps, boasts 6 fitness poles set in a hardwood dance floor and facing a floor to ceiling mirror. After signing a release form, I was told to choose a pole and get ready for our aptly titled “Sexy Warm-Up”. Sarabeth, wearing her signature tank top and sky-high patent leather heels, walked Ashley and I through multiple stretching and floor exercises fueled by some top 40 hits. Once we were prepared for the class, our first task was to master the “Sexy Walk”. This walk would September/October 2010
Get Fit and Have Fun the Kendra Way!
business can tell you what Sara is all about. She didn’t start the business to perfect the skills of pole dancers, but rather empower and educate women on the benefits of pole fitness. Sara uses Sexy Silhouettes to show women that seeing positive change in oneself can keep their spirit and passion alive. Passion is exactly what’s driven Sarabeth to change the lives of so many San Diego women. It may seem like just another fitness craze to outsiders, but once you step foot into the studio you know that it is so much more. Sexy Silhouettes by Sara has given me a new view on fitness and myself. From my experience, I can tell you that it is actually possible to enjoy working out and to feel empowered by the process. For anyone looking to improve their body and self-image, forgo the gym or monotonous time on the treadmill and give Sexy Silhouettes a try.
Beginner Classes: Introduction to Pole Fitness: The perfect introduction to pole fitness. Similar to the first week of a Level 1 pole fitness class, you will learn what a fun and fantastic workout pole fitness is. Prepare to become addicted! Pole Level 1- “Flirting”: Starting from the ground up, by moving with your new dance partner, ‘the pole', you will learn 20 beginner pole, dance, and floor moves. You will also learn how to incorporate these moves, which tighten and tone your body, into your first routine. Pole Level 2- “Temptress”: Perfects what you learned in level one, and lift off - performing moves with an element of challenge. Get to know your body and learn an additional 10 pole, dance, and floor moves, which will produce another beautifully choreographed routine. Lap Dance “Teaser”: Learn the art of grace and sensual movement through the foundation of exotic dancing. Here, you will learn the hottest hip rotations, isolations, body waves, and booty shaking movements, and of course, the notorious strip tease! You will be able to incorporate these empowering moves against a wall, on a chair, on the floor, and of course, in your partner's lap! Learn how to move like the Experts and flirt with your Eyes, Lips, and Hips. You will tighten, tone, and strengthen your physique, build your confidence, and become one with your sexy side! *For more advanced classes, and to see a full list of courses offered, visit www. SexySilhouettesbySara.com/classes
If you’re thinking that you’re not quite ready to join a class on pole fitness, or want to really commit to the craft, an at-home pole is a must. X-Pole USA is the world leader in pole technology with multiple levels of pole fitness products available, from beginner to expert. X-Pole USA is the makers behind the Kendra Wilkinson Sport Pole. Kendra Wilkinson, the Playboy model and Girl Next Door star, wanted to bring her favorite exercise routine to the masses and that’s where X-Pole stepped in. X-Pole brought their technological advances to the forefront when designing the Kendra Sport Pole. The Kendra pole is the perfect purchase for beginners and experienced dancers alike due to its affordable price point, easy set-up and removal, expandable length, and portable design. The exclusive Kendra Wilkinson Sport Pole is a stationary (non-spinning), bottom-loading professional grade dance pole that features the new revolutionary X-Joint technology. With its unique adjuster system, you can expand and fully lock the pole in position without ever leaving the ground! After personally testing this product, I can tell you that it is one of the most accessible exercise poles on the market. It requires no ceiling fixture for set-up and while it may take a few moments to put everything together, the instruction manual is filled with easy-to-follow images and step-bystep instructions. When ordering through Kendra’s X-Pole sponsored website, you will be given a fantastic deal. Along with the pole and extension joints (to fit ceilings up to 8’ 10”), you will receive a custom Kendra Wilkinson Sport bag to transport your pole.
Here’s what comes with your Kendra Wilkinson Sport Pole purchase: • Main poles x2 (A & B) • X-Joint 180mm(7") Long • X- Joint (x2)-200mm(8") Long • Height adjuster, foam cover • Upper support plate • Articulating base with Kendra signature • Extensions - 250mm(10") & 125mm(5") •Tools kit & Instructions manual • Nylon carry case All for a total of $249.99 + shipping and handling! Visit www.KendraWilkinsonSportPole.com to purchase your own fitness pole today!
HEALING WITH WORDS: A WRITER'S CANCER JOURNEY
Melvin J. Silverstein, MD, Director Breast Program, Hoag Memorial Hospital
ISBN 978-1-61599-010-8 Paperback $19.95 206 pages
To order, call Loving Healing Press 1-888-761-6268 or see Amazon.com, BN.com or from your local bookseller September/October 2010
“I applaud the author for having the courage to share her very personal story in the form of narrative, journal entries and poems.”
Diana M Raab
By Judith A. Habert Photos by Lisa K Miller
The list of awards and accomplishments that Dianne York she opened “Spa Goldman has received are almost too many to mention, MD,” a favorite When you consider that she has written four books, held a spa in the wealthy leading role on a reality TV show, owned two spas, travtown of La Jolla. eled around the world as a model and created an amazing As a medical mineral makeup line, you have to ask how one woman could spa they offered accomplish so much. After spending some time with her, it both medical becomes obvious that nothing can stop her. procedures and Born and raised in St. Louis Missouri, and earning a degree a unique array of in Economics from the University of Missouri in Colombia, spa services. As Dianne was ready to make a move from her home town. expected, Dianne Feeling like a big fish in a small pond, she decided to venture made this busiout into the world. Modeling offered her this opportunity, ness into another and before long she found herself traveling the world as a huge success, much sought after model. Her agency in Chicago directed winning best spa in the country for four years in a row. her to move from home and take up residency in either Always looking for her next challenge in life, Dianne had New York or Los Angeles. Wanting to be surrounded by the decided to tackle another industry which she felt was in dire ocean and her beloved need of improvement. As a former palm trees, she opted model and spa owner, Dianne was to make the move to well aware of a huge problem with LA in 1988. Once the the makeup industry. Although move was made, she not much of the makeup she wore as a only found herself busy model looked great in photographs, with a lucrative modelit was often too heavy for everyday ing career, but soon use. It also contained ingredients began acting on TV and which were not good for the skin in movies. Along with and therefore had long term negaher modeling and acting tive effects for its users. Her miscareer she also became sion was to create a makeup that a well known author and when applied still allowed you to beauty writer, traveling see the beauty behind the makeup yet again to promote her and not mask it. Dianne’s goal books. With guest shots was to create a healthy mineral on TV and Radio shows, makeup that allowed a women’s she soon became a beauty to shine through. It took 9 household name in the long years of working with the best beauty industry. labs in the country, but in 2006 As time passed Dianne Dianne launched DYG Cosmetics, a felt she needed to move beautiful line of triple milled mineral on to yet another exciting makeup including over 100 different career, so she decided products. One of Dianne’s pet projupon a move to San ects was to create a skin care line Diego. Always a lover for young girls who were plagued of beauty, the obvious with acne, realizing how much their choice was to open her personalities were affected when own high end salon to they were self conscious about their help San Diegan women skin. She also worked on a series look and feel beautiful. entitled “You Glow Girl,” and auHer first spa was simply thored a book Fun in the Sun Safely titled “The Spa,” and was which taught the dangers of exceslocated in Encinitas, California. After making her business sive sun exposure and how to protect your skin from potential a thriving success she sold it and moved on to a bigger and health risks. She founded You Glow Girl, a teenage skin care better location. She found out that a beautiful space was company to help solve teenage breakout issues available in downtown La Jolla, the town where she lived, so September/October 2010
women who thought their time for beauty had passed. We accompanied Dianne on a recent visit to a beautiful retirement village, Sunrise at La Costa in Carlsbad, where she helped make the day more beautiful for several of their residents. Mary Kincaid, mother of La Jolla cosmetic surgeon Stuart B. Kincaid M.D. F.A.C.S., is a resident at the facility and was one of the lucky ladies who received a makeover that day from Dianne. Viewing the transformation of these lovely seniors after receiving their makeovers was truly heartwarming. It made their day. Another senior, who was not a resident at the facility but participated in the makeover was Vera Eubank. I heard her excitingly telling her makeup artist Susie, “I never wore eye shadow before,” as she looked in the mirror at the makeover she had just received. Dr. Stuart Kincaid, who carries Dianne’s makeup at his La Jolla and Temecula offices, was thrilled to see how wonderful his mom looked after her makeover, “ These beautiful senior women truly appreciate what Dianne does for them. You can see the transformation after they have received their makeover.” One of the benefits of Dianne’s makeup line is that is transcends all ages. Her products are available at spas and directly on the Internet at http://www.dianneyork-goldman.com/products.htm .
Dianne York Goldman clothing courtesy of Tobi Blatt, Jewelry courtesy of Joslin of La Jolla, Hair courtesy of Harold C.
Ironically, Dianne has recently taken on another cause at the other end of the spectrum. She has realized that no matter the age of women, they are always concerned with how they look. “Many seniors have stopped wearing makeup feeling as if they are too old for it to make a difference in their appearance.” Dianne has found that she can bring joy to the senior community by offering her makeup services to these September/October 2010
We have discovered the answer to all of our wardrobe problems and it can be found in just one product, the Camiband™. Is your blouse just a wee bit too low cut? Is your shirt a few inches too short? Do you avoid wearing that bikini because, although you love the top, the bottom is a bit revealing? If you can answer yes to any or all of these questions we have the perfect solution for you. The editors of San Diego Woman have found the perfect product for every women’s wardrobe, the Camiband™. It is a wide piece of beautiful elastic lace that comes in 7 different colors and can be used to solve any of the issues mentioned above. Once you own one, you will not understand how you ever lived without it! For a chance to win your own Camiband™, scan the pages of our magazine for our contest. Two lucky readers will win free Camiband ™ of your own. Trust us…you will love it.
Jason Weber If you are looking for some great music then find time in your busy schedule to catch one of Jason Weber’s upcoming shows. Jason has been playing sax since the age of 9. He earned a degree in Music Performance from the University of Wisconsin before relocating to Southern California. A versatile performer, he is as comfortable performing Jazz as he is Rock, Funk, Pop or R and B. Jason performs in over 300 shows per year. Visit his website at http://www.jasonweber.net/html/gigs.html for a list of upcoming performances.
Miss Rancho Bernardo Help one of San Diego Woman's model and the newly crowned Miss Rancho Bernardo, Hollyanne Setola, get to the Miss California Pagent! The pagent is being held in Palm Springs, California on November 19th. Visit her site today at http://www.sponsorthanks. com/HollyanneSetola/ to become a sponsor.
Wine, Women & Hormones This is an event that should not be missed. Wine, Women & Hormones is a gathering place for women of all ages to mingle and learn some valuable information on Healthy Aging. This event is sponsored by La Vita Compounding Pharmacy, San Diego's only women-owned compounding pharmacy. A team of experts are available to answer your tough questions about what happens to women as they move through life's many milestones. Hear from experts as they help to clear up the confusion around hormone therapy. Visit www.lavitarx.com or call 866 507 1990 for a listing of upcoming events.
Nothing Like The Love of Your Mother And Father by Sarah Haynes
I know when skies are grey They'll be blue again one day Sometimes when I feel blue I turn to lean on you To love and keep me strong When I feel I can't go on When I feel so dead inside Let your love keep me alive I know I'm not alone Because you have brought me home When I was lost you found a way To guide me everyday Dear Father, king of my dreams Who's married to a queen Dedicated To Scott and Gloria Neyman
You Never Really Knew Me By Mia Sewell
You never really knew me I stood there on the edge of a cliff wanting to jump because I didnâ€™t know any better I was buried in your absence when you stood right there in front of me your unhappiness ripped through me but I refused to accept its presence it was only temporary I told myself and when it never left me when it flew around me and made me choke like too much dust I still pretended
12 oz Calamari (cut in 1 inch strips and tentacles) 5 lb flour 1/2 cup granulated garlic 1/4 cup salt 1/8 cup table ground black pepper 1/4 lemon wedge (cut in half) 1 tbsp. chopped Italian parsley (flat leaf to sprinkle) 2 oz marinara
My crimson eyes filled with longing and sadness traced your face again and again until they ached Your soul was a wasteland I spent too much time trying to grow flowers in a place with no sunlight where I could only water them with pavement And finally I saw it there in my mind that had been crippled by your unhappiness was my life waiting to be returned to waiting to nourish me like a warm, silky bath and thatâ€™s when I left you left you and all your moments tore myself from the debris of memories suffocating me And as I stole a breath and a ray of sunshine I felt myself grow out of you and into the light
Mix flour, garlic, and sugar. Add calamari to flour. Remove and sift in strainer. Add to fryer at 375 degrees until golden. Remove and drain. Plate, and sprinkle parsley on top. Add lemon and sauce.
You left too many holes inside me too many projects that you never finished you started to need me and ended up needing me for only one thing to drain yourself of emotions no one else knew of you kept them hidden away locked down in the depths of your soul a soul that was burning with discontent and the moments when I needed your emotions I got them but they never felt right
This is a recipe from the renowned Busalacchi Restaurants.... you will love it!
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Have you Always Wanted to be Considered an Expert in your Field? There is no better way to accomplish these goals than to share your knowledge with the world by writing a book. If you don’t have the time or experience to create your own literary masterpiece, there is now a solution. Professional writer, editor, and photographer Judith A. Habert can help you accomplish your goal. •Ghostwriting Services •Co-authoring •Author Mentoring •Production Assistance •Marketing support
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Into Fashion Photography by Jaime V. Habert Model Hollyanne Setola September/October 2010
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