Page 1

theTeam Alex Westerberg - Writer

Josh McStay - Editor/Writer

Anna Young - Writer

Meg Handley - Writer

Annie Little - Writer

Miriam Van den Berg - Writer

Ashley Latimer - Writer

Neil Widdowson - Writer

Bridie Leonard - Writer

Puja Gurung - Writer

Chris Ahart - Front Cover/Writer

Rebecca Henrys - Writer

Daniella Ansell - Writer

Rei Madarani - Writer

Eden Oliver - Writer

Samuel Bancroft - Editor/Graphics/Writer

Elizabeth Robbins - Writer

Sarah Drozdz - Writer

Eloise Scott - Writer

Shannon Johnston - Writer

James Phillips - Website

Stuart Astle - Writer

Jessica Dodgeon - Writer


Welcome back to theREVIEW, a Sixth Form publication.

In this edition we have articles ranging from a potential cosmic treat lighting up our skies at the end of this month, to analysis on the government’s recent education reforms. No doubt to the delight of many teachers… The football transfer window has been and gone, and we are pleased to see the addition of some new year 12s to our team. The latest film and music reviews are available, including an article on the latest album from the Arctic Monkeys, profiling their meteoric rise from an internet phenomenon to worldwide recognition. Speaking of humble beginnings on the internet, feel free to check out the publication’s website. You will be able to view all articles to date, and browse by author, category, and edition. The website can be viewed at: As ever; if you want to be involved, or have any feedback, please do not hesitate to contact the editors at:, or use the contact form on the website. -The editors, Josh McStay and Samuel Bancroft Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this publication are those of the authors only and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of William Howard School. Front cover produced by Chris Ahart. Front cover image sourced from


World News

UKIP: Yea or Nay?


Student News Looking for Work Experience? Future leader or backward failure? Raising the Bar, or Moving the Goalposts? Open Spaces The World Awaits

2 3 4 5 6

Science/Tech ISON 2013 – The ‘Comet of the Century’? Aspartame Controversy

7 8

Media Arctic Monkeys – AM Review About Time Review Angelfall Review The Great Gatsby Review Scrolls Review SpaceChem Review

9-10 11 12 13-14 15 16

Sport The Race for Victory in the ‘Sports Diplomacy’ League 17-18 Transfer Window Review 19-20 Fashion Winter is coming…


Creative Autumn Allure I Know a Girl

22 23

Gender Equality in the 21st Century Kentucky Fried Exploitation Dispelling the Romantic Illusion Which 20th Century Dictator are you? Logic Puzzles Crossword Cryptogram

24 25-26 27-28 29-30 31 32 33


UKIP: Yea or Nay?

 theREVIEW World News

By Alex Westerberg The Yeas:

The Nays:

They talk straight-

There are some real “Fruitcakes” in their ranks-

No one is very engaged with politics being a life-changing force any more. Politicians suck up to the “squeezed middle”. Certain Ed Millibands come up with cute and cuddly policies that voters find very easy to comprehend. By comparison to this, Nigel Farage gets straight to the point and speaks like he believes in himself. We could do with more of that from the mainstream. The EU are certainly bureaucratsWe know for certain when they spend €830, 000 on new filing cabinets. But then again, foolish taxes do hurt British commerce abroad and it rankles with people who budget their own business very harshly to see the massive institution getting away with financial obscenities, in relative terms. Furthermore, in the UKIP party conference Nigel Farage made a convincing, if unfounded statement that almost all of the Eurozone countries would sign a free trade agreement with Britain within 24 hours of our leaving. They need us as much as we need them. I await evidence to the contrary.

Not to mention ‘Loonies’ and ‘Closet Racists’ says David Cameron. Godfrey Bloom, the party whip of many years is a prime example; after evoking the grandeur of the British army in his speech at the party conference (yes, I did watch it, with some pain) he followed it with a pathetic anger outburst in the street where he displayed “physical violence” against a reporter. Sorry, tapping someone on the head with a folded paper is criminal now? No, of course, it’s the sentiment that counts. He was too unreliable for politics. The European Union must hold strongIt took two world wars, the death of the good part of 80,000,000 people to realise that Europe shouldn’t get into squabbles. And post-war, Europe has thrived as a consumer market, the sheer volume of trade making it worlddominant. It is imperative that, in times of struggle, we don’t look for the easy voice of the right wing populist. He knows how to play his cards in such times, to be sure. Germany, Italy post-WWI. Need I say more?

There are parts of Britain which are literally abandoned by their own state-

The remainder of their policies are too right-wing-

Listening to party vice-leader Paul Nuttall, the fact that Britain’s 5 top schools get over 100 into Oxbridge when in all the schools of Liverpool, just 5 even made an application… I’ll let that sink in. UKIP on a national level remembers to be a party of the people, rather than a party of what’sbest-for-the-people. Something should be done to equalise the situation, but to go back to grammar schools? Modern research says statistically, they don’t open up social mobility as advertised.

Okay, this one depends on your own belief in the spectrum. Being ultratraditionalist has no place any more. It’s the sixty-plus year olds who would like to see corporal punishment reinstated in schools. Seriously, we are better than that sort of crudeness which most certainly has its drawbacks along with its advantages. Plus, do we want to have Gay Rights ploughed back into the dust? Whether one believes in the rectitude of this or not, no way should we be telling someone they can’t make their own choices on that level of importance.

To conclude: Yes, parties certainly should listen to, cherry pick, and outright steal some of UKIP’s ideas. But no, you shouldn’t give them your vote!


Looking for Work Experience? By Jessica Dodgeon and Annie Little

Yes, we have a whole year to get 2 weeks work experience done. It’s only 2 weeks out of 52. How hard can it be? Right? This article is to help sixth formers to get work experience, as most year 12s and some year 13s have had a massive bombshell dropped on them, announcing that some courses at university require 2 weeks’ work experience, relevant to the course or not. Year 12s need to start planning and preparing work experience now. Why wait until the last minute? Before you know it, you’ll be in year 13, sending off your applications to various universities hoping to be accepted. Students who want to go into medicine, dentistry, and even accountancy need to begin preparing work experience sooner rather than later. Even if you don’t want to be in that field of employment, getting work experience is vital as it gives you an overall idea of what to expect, provides life skills such as being sociable, handling customers, and in some cases working as a team etc. During an inquiry of work experience around Carlisle, only a limited number of sectors provided work experience however others may offer temporary employment which counts as a possible reference for the future. Most retail outlets don’t provide work experience but do offer temporary jobs instead.







experience to over 16 year olds is Dorothy Perkins. We questioned two supervisors, Fiona and Emily, about what students may encounter during the course of experience. They stated that the students would observe staff, help out with stocks and deliveries, help customers, and offer advice on clothing. This helps to provide social skills, dealing with customers, learning to a run a business and gives you an insight on their possible future career. When questioned about how many hours they would allow, they stated that they could “only offer 4 hours on weekends” but did say that the work experience could lead to a potential job opportunity.

 theREVIEW Student News

Work experience can be considered essential in order to be accepted into higher education, yet not many sixth formers take work experience seriously.

Other retail outlets such as Topshop, M&S, Debenhams, Claire’s, River Island and Miss Selfridge, offer the opportunity for 16 year olds and over to apply for a job which can provide references. Some workplaces such as Nu-Pets and the Sony Centre provide work experience during half terms, at Christmas and within the summer. Need help on finding a work placement? Talking to one of the careers team can be useful as they can give you information and an idea about what places of employment you can gain work experience from. Also going onto the William Howard School website can provide information on a variety of different working environments. Log into Frog and click on Careers information. If you go onto the work experience database you may also be able to contact certain workplaces that are relevant to the course you are aspiring to. Asking advice from other sixth formers may benefit you too!


Michael Gove: Future leader or backward failure?

 theREVIEW Student News

By Elizabeth Robbins

Michael Gove has left teachers fuming in the wake of his radical reforms of the education system in England. Fundamentally, for the traditional academic subjects this involves the end of modular exams, no re-sits and tougher grading. Some critics ask whether Michael Gove is out of touch with life outside privileged private schools and Westminster. The Education Secretary was educated at a state school in Aberdeen, before winning a scholarship to the independent Robert Gordon’s College. In this respect he understands what it is to never know the taste of the silver spoon. Those in favour of comprehensive schools and GCSEs hoped that their introduction would promote equality and enhance social mobility. However research has suggested that social mobility is currently no better than in the 1970’s, with Britain having some of the worst statistics in this respect in the developed world; over three quarters of young people from the richest 20% of families will successfully apply to university, compared with just 49% of the poorest (The Guardian). According to an Ofsted report in June 2013 the brightest pupils are being failed by the comprehensive system. Gove and Ofsted claim that tougher academic qualifications with no re-sits will undoubtedly give less privileged students a greater chance of succeeding in gaining entrance to the most prestigious universities, and hence potentially the converted top jobs. The theory is that if grades are harder to achieve it increases their worth, across all grades. This may aid differentiation on the basis of academic aptitude and so remove the current heavy emphasis on extracurricular opportunities to which the privileged inevitably have greater access. According to Gove grade inflation doesn’t


mean everyone wins, rather achievements are devalued.


Gove’s proposals entail a few final exams at the end of two years; a prospect seemingly feared by many students and the educational establishment. However, the scrapping of modular exams may potentially give teachers greater autonomy to teach topics in the order which in their professional opinion they believe will best improve student’s understanding. This is unlike the current scenario whereby teachers are constrained to teach to a strict curriculum in the mad dash to finish for the next imminent exam. Could Gove be the next leader of the Conservative Party? The “love- him- orhate- him” feelings which he has provoked seem to have introduced the possibility. There do appear to be similarities between him and Margaret Thatcher. She too was Secretary of State for Education, before power plays in Westminster almost accidently manoeuvred her into power. Both she and Gove appear to be conviction politicians, and neither feels the need to mould their policies to pander to public popularity. One doesn’t have to agree with everything Gove says in order to find a politician who appears to have a genuine belief in his convictions refreshing. In the words of a senior Labour figure, “He’s in politics for all the right reasons.”

Press Association

Raising the Bar, or Moving the Goalposts? By Stuart Astle

Under the current proposals, core subjects such as English, Maths, Sciences and Humanities will see their coursework and controlled assessment elements scrapped and modular exams replaced with final exams at the end of a two year course. The exams themselves will see an increase in the number of “stretching, essay-style questions”, to take the place of the shorter factual recall questions which Mr Gove believes are too easy and do not challenge students sufficiently. Instead of the old A*G grading system, GCSEs will now be scored from 8-1, in a way which bears striking resemblance to the old O-Level system, which was abolished for its unbalanced nature, and its restricting students from doing themselves justice in exams. These changes come as part of the Education Secretary’s plans to raise the standards of attainment by British pupils; a target he feels is obstructed by an examination system which “does not properly stretch the most able of students”. The modifications will first be felt by pupils sitting their GCSEs in 2017 (ie: this year’s Year 7s) and will, according to Mr Gove, be “more challenging and more rigorous”. But will these changes really raise the standards achieved by students, or will they merely shift the objective of preparation for exams from one emphasis to another? Consider for a moment, a student in year 7, one of the first to sit their GCSEs under the new system. They are a talented, hardworking individual, easily able to manage the constant demands of keeping up to date with coursework and regularly having to work for modular exams over a two year course, as in currently the case. Without doubt, they are an intelligent pupil with the motivation and organisation skills to be able to succeed in the working world in years to come. Unfortunately, they are not as good at memorising two years’ worth of work for the short exam period, and also suffer from exam nerves. Under the new

system, this student would be penalised by examination methods which potentially rewards those who pay no attention throughout the two years of their course, but are able to temporarily absorb the contents of their revision guide in the month’s run-up to their exams, before promptly forgetting it all. Our hardworking student, with a more rounded knowledge of the subject, would receive a lower grade merely because of their less efficient “cramming ability”, surely a less important skill in life. Another change which will be prominent in English Literature is the expectation now for students to have read a much larger volume of material for their final exam. In the past, students were required to study an extract of a Shakespearean play in detail for their coursework, and for their final exam to have read two novels as well as a set of “post-1850 poetry”. Under these new reforms, will the abolition of coursework, pupils will be expected to have read all of these items (including the whole of the play) for their final exam. The Education Secretary argues that this will ensure that pupil will have a greater understanding of the texts, covering a broader topic, but many experts feel that it will prevent more able students from focusing in greater detail on specific areas and using their analytical skills to make more incise and complex arguments, due to the sheer volume of text which they will be expected to have explored.

 theREVIEW Student News

The proposed overhaul of the current GCSE examining system has attracted much discussion since its announcement by the Education Secretary, Michael Gove, on 11th June.

Whilst Mr Gove may feel that his reforms of the GCSE system will “restore public confidence in the public examination system” and help British pupils to compete with “the best in the world” there are serious doubts amongst many education experts that these changes will only change the emphasis of examinations from a basis of long-term preparation and consistent hard work over a two year course to one of last-minute, temporary information-absorption. We all know which skills are more useful and relevant in the world around us, but are these the skills which the Government wants to assess? Amidst claim of falling standards and insufficient stretching of top pupils, it will be interesting to see in years to come if these modifications will have a longlasting beneficial effect.


Open Spaces By Eden Oliver

 theREVIEW Student News

Since we came back to school in September we have had nothing but good news, so where do I begin? On Monday the 23rd September, the Mayor of Carlisle, Ray Bloxham came into school for a tour of open spaces alongside head teacher and supporter Mrs L Hughes. He presented us with our award from the

tours, and gave both parents and pupils

Royal Horticultural Society (RHS). We

something to think about, and consider

were awarded the ‘in your neighbourhood’

getting involved in. This evening was great

award as part of ‘Cumbria in Bloom’.

publicity for open spaces and raised a few

Before this day, all the kids involved had been






inspection. Green flag is the award which is given to a school who have a garden or

their children here to get involved; they were all amazed by how much we had done.

who are thinking about the environment

Last year we had 200 solar panels

and trying to keep it clean. There was a

installed on the roof of the school to help

manic week leading up to the inspection.

reduce our carbon emissions. Along with

We had many flower and vegetable beds to

them, we had an energy board fitted which

weed and prepare for the winter.

tells us how much we have energy we have

We were very successful in gaining green flag status. It was difficult, but we achieved this with lots of help from students letting the assessor know what

saved to date. We have been monitoring the amount of energy the school have been using since we got our solar panels installed.

we had done, and what we are doing to be

We have had great support this year



getting the local primary school involved

impressed by how much the children

with the garden. Five pupils aged between

knew, and how enthusiastic they were

6-7 years are visiting every Thursday after

about what they were doing both outside

school, and are very keen to learn new

and around the school.

skills and enjoy being outdoors.

On Tuesday the 17th there was an open

That is us up to date and we hope that the

evening for Year 6, allowing pupils to get a

rest of the year is full of further success.

taste of all subjects on offer at William

I’d like to thank everyone involved for

Howard. This turned out to be a huge

their help and support.





success, and we had many kids and parents intrigued as to what we were all involved in. We did not hesitate to host


eyebrows with parents who might send

The World Awaits By Daniella Ansell

Gap years are becoming increasingly more common amongst students - and the majority of people planning a gap year do so before university, rather than after. There’s no doubt that taking a gap year will burn quite a sizable hole in your pocket (unless you have very generous parents) so the start of year 13 is the best time to start planning one. Organising it now will give you ample time to save up and plan where you want to go. As well as choosing your desired destinations, deciding whether or not to go through a gap year organisation, overseas volunteering placement or simply just on your own accords will be a decision worth taking the time to think about. 30% of gap year students choose to travel unaccompanied and for some, that can be a terrifying thought but for the handful of individuals that do so, it’s an exciting chance to discover themselves and meet new people that may become lifelong friends. The top 3 gap year destinations selected by students are Thailand, Australia and America. So if you want to go jet setting across the globe, there’s something for every Tom, Dick, and Harriett (we don’t want to be sexist) whether you choose to go to exotic Thailand, and experience its lavish temples and diverse culture (not to mention the wild night life you will find in some areas), travelling right across the planet to visit our Aussie cousins in the vast outback or fly across the pond to backpack through the States in the majestic and beautiful land of the free… But no wonder it’s so expensive! Not all gap years have to include leaving the continent; there are plenty of people that choose to experience Europe, and it’s right on our doorstep! Not to mention, probably slightly more affordable for us

Will Ellis via Flickr students. The EU has a diversity of cultures and climates so without doubt, don’t rule it out as an option.

 theREVIEW Student News

For many A-level and university students, the prospect of potentially taking a year off before going to university or into a career might be quite daunting. But for a lot of us, it’s an exciting opportunity to go and experience some of the world before we get tied down with our studies!

To recap, there are plenty of routes for a gap year student to go down. You can pursue a number of enriching experiences abroad, such as working, teaching, volunteering, learning a foreign language, or simply just experiencing the world. And let’s not forget the personal benefits to yourself that a gap year can offer. They are considered advantageous for a number of reasons such as adding to your CV, personal growth and maturity, gaining life experience and let’s face it, by the end of our A levels, we all could do with a little break.

Top five gap year organisations: (Source: The Independent) Best for your CV: Best for animal conservation:

Best for ski seasons: Best for volunteering and adventure: Best all round:


ISON 2013 – The ‘Comet of the Century’? By Samuel Bancroft

 theREVIEW Science/Tech

In late November of this year, a sungrazing comet called “C/2012 S1 (ISON)” is expected to make its closest approach in an orbit around the sun. This celestial object is of particular interest, as scientists have taken note of its potential to produce a spectacular cosmic show for the last quarter of this year.

Fir0002/Flagstaffotos It was discovered last year by Russian astronomers when it was as far away as Jupiter, and is said to be around 5-6 miles in diameter. The comet may have taken millions of years to reach us – travelling more than a light year – originating from a region of space named the “Oort cloud”. 0T


If it does not completely burn up as it approaches the sun – we may see our skies lit up by a spectacular display of the comet’s thousands of kilometres long trail of dust and gas. If eager astronomers around the world get what they are hoping for - ISON may be even brighter than the full moon. If this occurs, it will be visible during the day time. However there are no guarantees. While it is certainly an exciting possibility, it is too early for professionals to make confident predictions. Sungrazing comets tend to be fickle in nature; the scientists involved in


observing this rock that is as big as a mountain, will want to be very certain before they release any reliable announcements. Hype has been raised before, most recently in 1974. Comet “Kohoutek” was believed by scientists to be visiting the solar system for the first time – which would mean there would be a fantastic display of released gas. Unfortunately, it partially disintegrated as it made its close approach to the sun before flying by the Earth. Because of this, many who expected a ‘great comet’ were left bitterly disappointed. Some of the orbital characteristics of ISON are similar to the “Great Comet of 1680”, which suggests that it may have fragmented from the original rock. The “Great Comet of 1680”, otherwise known as Newton’s comet was one of the brightest comets of the 17th Century – visible in daytime. It is recorded as having a very long tail, and was the first comet to be discovered by telescope. Sir Isaac Newton used this comet to help confirm Johannes Kepler’s famous laws of planetary motion. Keep your eyes on the sky and your fingers crossed - we may be in for a celestial treat at the end of this year.

Lieve Vershuier

Aspartame Controversy By Neil Widdowson

What is a sweetener? Why don’t all drinks have them? Why don’t you find them in heath food shops? Read on to find out about the lies food manufacturers and shops use to make you think you ‘diet’. In 1965 a new drug was discovered as a possible candidate as an anti-ulcer drug. Since then, Aspartame has been on the Department of Defence’s list of potential Biological-Warfare Neurotoxins. It had been turned down by the FDA (Food and Drugs Administration) more than 4 times; taking them 15 years to allow it into the dry foods market, then another 2 years for the carbonated drinks. It is often described as “one of the most thoroughly tested and studied food additives the FDA has ever approved”. In 1996, the FDA lifted all restrictions on the substance, allowing it to be used in all foods. Aspartame has over 90 side effects reported to the FDA; accounting to around 75% of the adverse reactions to food (some illnesses are triggered or worsened). A few of these are: • • • • • •

Migraines Insomnia Memory Loss Depression Brain Tumours Diabetes

I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t consume something that could give me that many illnesses, especially that severe. In fact, the book ‘Prescription for Nutritional Healing’ by James and Phyllis Balch lists this chemical under the category ‘Chemical Poison’. Apparently 5 deaths were reported, related to Aspartame, but have not been made public.

 theREVIEW Science/Tech

Many UK supermarket chains such as Sainsbury’s and M&S have, in recent years, announced that they would no longer use the artificial sweetener in their own label products.

Aspartame is made up of three chemicals: Aspartic Acid (40%), Phenylalanine (50%) and methanol (10%). You may have heard of Methanol, a form of alcohol (the non-drinking type). This is a substance that builds up inside your body due the low rate of excretion once absorbed. Methanol is considered to be a cumulative poison, and gets broken down into a substance called formaldehyde, which is a deadly neurotoxin. Aspartame is hidden under many names (e.g. NutraSweet, Sucralose, Equal, Spoonful etc.). It is found in many of your favourite drinks, mostly diet, but also ‘healthy’ drinks e.g. Fanta, flavoured water, cordial etc. Amazingly, Coca Cola and Pepsi (‘full fat’ versions) are among the healthy drinks in my books, as they don’t contain sweeteners (in the UK at least). If you want to find out more, simply Google ‘aspartame’ – you’ll be surprised.

‘Sweeteners cause brain tumours and seizures in animals, a legitimate health concern exists, despite the FDA’s declaration that aspartame is safe. In the past twenty years, brain tumour rates have risen in several industrialised countries, including the United States. Aspartame was introduced to the American market several years prior to the increase in brain tumour incidence. This suggests to me that the potential danger of aspartame should more carefully studied.” –Dr Joel Fuhrman M.D, Nutritional Researcher


Arctic Monkeys AM Review

 theREVIEW Media

By Eloise Scott

After hiding in numerous Los Angeles recording studios and making their breakthrough in the US, indie-rock band Arctic Monkeys made their triumphant and long awaited return this summer with their spectacular set at Glastonbury, performing as headliners alongside rock legends The Rolling Stones. If you thought that this, together with playing at the Olympics opening ceremony last year, wasn’t enough to make you a highly successful band, they’ve just released their 5th album – and boy is it good. Self-titled with their initials ‘AM’, and accompanied with its simplistic artwork, you get the impression they’ve really gone back to basics. But the content of this beautifully structured album is far from simplistic. The Sheffield-born foursome manipulated their genre from previous album Suck It And See (2011), by sounding less pop and a lot more rock. In fact, AM sounds different from anything that the band has done previously. But it’s not as if they haven’t pulled a curveball like this before, their 2009 record Humbug definitely raised a few eyebrows with its risqué lyrics and sultry guitar riffs. Nevertheless, it was their debut Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not (2006) that originally put Arctic Monkeys on the map, showcasing their raw talent with its real lyrics about the gritty city life accompanied by perfectly assembled guitar chords. It was clear that, despite their careless persona and casual attire, they were taking this whole music business very seriously. Only a year after their debut release, just enough time to grab the public’s attention and generate a substantial fan base, album no. 2 was released - Favourite Worst Nightmare (2007), home to their hit single ‘Fluorescent Adolescent’.


Matthew Cooper/Domino When the single ‘R U Mine?’ was released back in April 2012, fans immediately sensed that album number 5 was in the works. However, the band was just getting started, and over a year later it was announced that AM would be released in early September, conveniently slipping into the Mercury Prize 2013 nomination deadline by a couple of days (which of course, they have been nominated for). Naturally, due its massive anticipation over the globe, AM immediately dominated the album charts. Arctic Monkeys were even named (quite rightly) ‘Band Of The Year’ by GQ Magazine, just a few weeks subsequent of the album release. They set the bar pretty high for themselves with this record, and undeniably it has been reached. The introducing track ‘Do I Wanna Know?’ was released as their debut single, a couple of months prior to the album, giving fans an eary taste of AM. It then moves on to ‘R U Mine?’ which, despite its earlier release, fits perfectly into the track listing. These accompanying songs, both with edgy guitar riffs complimented by lead singer and lyricist Alex Turner’s pining vocals; create the perfect opening, absolutely captivating its listener.

However the top track has got to be, ironically, ‘No.1 Party Anthem’, a song reminiscent of Humbug’s ‘Cornerstone’, but with a cabaret twist. With its acoustic strums, hearty piano melodies and tragic lyrics, you wouldn’t think a ballad like this would fit with the solid glam-rock opening, but somehow, it works. Whereas the following track ‘Mad Sounds’ - a peaceful yet melancholy tune that’s quite the contrast to AM’s head-bopping intro, doesn’t blend quite as well. There’s no denying it’s a beautiful melody, it’s just more suited as song you’d fall asleep to, rather than dance to. Just as the album starts to pivot from its original vibe, everything comes bouncing back with ‘Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High?’, a track filled with funk that makes you unconsciously tap your feet. This song, released as the second single from AM, takes the listener back to their Whatever People Say I Am... days, with its straight-to-the-point lyrics about getting ‘bladdered’ on a night out and sending drunk texts. Another brilliant track is ‘Snap Out Of It’ – a groovy, fresh, Motown-style tune. No matter what your music preference is, this song is difficult not to like. The new ‘sound’ that they’ve been experimenting with is predominantly showcased in the tracks ‘One For The Road’ and ‘Knee Socks’, where backing vocals are used – something the Monkeys have never dabbled in before. This is a similar case in the feisty firecracker that is ‘Fireside’, where various ‘shoo-wop’s, sang by drummer (and now newly appointed

backing singer) Matt Helders, are heard echoing in the background. Perhaps the most interesting track is the finale ‘I Wanna Be Yours’, a song whose lyrics originate from the John Cooper Clarke poem of the same name. Besides various covers, this is the first song Arctic Monkeys have released that isn’t fuelled by Alex Turner’s poetic clusters. Yet, according to Turner, Clarke was a huge inspiration of his lyrically, and amusingly was ‘the only person who ever liked the band name’. This influence is crystal clear, as the lines of ‘I Wanna Be Yours’ are just as unique and clever as any Arctic track. “I wanna be your vacuum cleaner, breathing in your dust” Alex pines over a soft beat and brooding guitar chords, perfectly closing AM.

 theREVIEW Media

One of AM’s strongest tracks is ‘Arabella’a fierce, sexy tune about Turner’s latest lady. ‘I Want It All’ also blends in particularly well with these openers, but as a stand-alone track, particularly in comparison to the majority of Arctic’s songs, it’s pretty weak, and acts like more of an album filler.

What really stands out about AM is not only the tunes themselves, nor its flawless ensemble, but the lyrics. Turner is renowned for his poetic song writing styles, and with 5 albums (including his Last Shadow Puppets record with fellow musician Miles Kane) and numerous EPs later, he still hasn’t lost it. Like Arctic’s previous albums, AM is filled with witty one liners, such as Arabella’s “helterskelter round her little finger” that Alex ‘rides endlessly’ and him telling his object of affection to “simmer down and pucker up” in ‘Do I Wanna Know?’. Is it their greatest album yet? Possibly not, but to live up to the pure brilliance of their debut would be an impossible task for any artist. It’s fresh, it’s edgy, it’s a treat for the ears; and, judging by the reviews, I don’t think there’s a disappointed listener out there. They’ve produced a whole new sound and, in true Arctic Monkeys style, they’ve effortlessly pulled it off, and the best part? This is just the beginning.


About Time Review

 theREVIEW Media

By Meg Handley

If someone told you that you had the ability to go back in time, what would you do?

sister (Lydia Wilson) and his somewhat mentally challenged, but still loveable, uncle (Richard Cordery).

Laugh? Swear? Fight off aliens Doctor Who style? How about: Just go with it and use such an unusual power to make your life the best it can be? Well that’s exactly what Tim Lake (Domhnall Gleeson) does in this feel good rom-com of the year.

Although we see none of Mary’s family life, we can only assume she’s had such a pleasant upbringing too, as she’s welcomed into Tim’s childhood home with open arms and she and Tim’s mum become the best of friends.

At first, we slightly regret buying a £6 cinema ticket, waiting in a seemingly endless queue and then climbing three flights of stairs to watch what surely can only be two hours of cheesy, corny and clichéd tripe. But hold on - suddenly moments of quirkiness and satisfying comedy mingled with spontaneous romance make it all worth it. Curtis has done it again! Our reactions to Love Actually, Bridget Jones and Notting Hill swiftly replay as we fall in love with this adorable rom-com and kick ourselves for ever doubting we would.

But what’s even more striking than Tim and Mary’s interminable love, is how Curtis allows us to also focus on the relationship between a father and his son without the added corniness, but instead with a few laugh out loud moments, mainly delivered by no other but the fantastic Bill Nighy, and some tearful ones too. They’re bonded by their similarities not only by their shared ability to go back in time, but by their benevolent nature, their love of ping pong and their adorability (both on screen and off).

Tim goes about using his newfound discovery to find love; from changing awkward New Year’s handshakes to courtly kisses, attempting to turn a friendship with a gorgeous blonde Charlotte (Margot Robbie) to a relationship which ultimately fails, to winning over the girl of his dreams, Mary (Rachel McAdams). Like Curtis’s previous celebrated work, the characters ooze with endearing eccentric personalities. Mary; a fifties dressed, Kate Moss obsessed 30 something year old and Tim; a dorky yet charismatic trainee lawyer. They of course make a perfect couple who survive living together, marriage and three children with only the mildest of arguments (most of which can solved with Tim simply going into a cupboard and reversing time anyway). Unsurprisingly, they both live affluent lifestyles: Tim enjoys a wealthy family life in a cosy, well if you can call a mansion cosy, beach home in Cornwall with his oldfashioned but simply lovely dad (Bill Nighy), his mellow tea drinking mother (Lindsay Duncan), his loopy younger


I’ll admit it’s not a perfect representation of life, for those of us who unfortunately don’t possess any superpowers anyway, but most of the film’s content is driven by what really can, and does, happen to us throughout our own years. I don’t want to give too much away (as hopefully I will have persuaded you to take a trip to the nearest cinema pronto), but there’s a kind of sentimentality found within these two hours of viewing that can rarely be found within most films and it’s because we understand the characters, not because we’ve seen this storyline done a million times, but because they seem like real, ordinary people; not Hollywood manufactured. Bravo to this charming cast. I fear it may not live to be a British classic, even with the masses amounts of rain shown throughout, but it certainly made me wish I could time travel and not even just so I could have gone to an earlier screening to skip that queue! Oh and a word of advice if you do fancy it - you may want to pretend you have some unexpected bad allergies that day as, if you cry at the ending of Love Actually, then prepare to cry once more.

Angelfall Review By Rebecca Henrys

Picture this; you're living in a world where everything is in ruins. You don't know what's going on but you do know that the Angels are more vicious than even Supernatural made them out to be. Next thing you know, they've snatched your sister away from you and you're left to help a wounded but sassy angel named Raffe whilst trying to hunt down your baby sister. As you now have the general gist of the story line I shall proceed to review it and hopefully persuade you to read this book. I normally avoid stories about Angels at all cost as I find them tedious and quite frankly cheesy, however Angelfall was not that kind of story. The angels are not made out to be fluffy, loving yet slightly avenging types. Oh no. These Angels will rip your throat out without a second thought, they are not nice and they actually follow the bible's lore on them. Susan Ee very clearly did her research and for that I give her all of the awards. Raffe is sassy, he is handsome but he is also quite badass and has a more humane side than the other Angels which is pretty cool as well. I know I just contradicted myself there but he still follows the general Angelic lore of being vicious when need be. Penryn Young. She is our protagonist and she is a little bit similar to Katniss Everdeen. You know- protective over her little sister, untrusting and when she has her sights set on something she will stop at nothing to get that something. It's quite inspiring. Penryn is also different to Katniss in that she hasn't grown up in this desolate, dystopian world so she has had to be able to adapt to a lifestyle that is completely different from a first world style life. She is one of the female protagonists that I find myself actually liking as she is intelligent and is quick to

adapt and survive her surroundings. Susan Ee also built up the world pretty well. Sometimes that is where dystopian novels falter as they don't spend enough time building up the setting, but Susan has apparently found the perfect ratio between character development and location development which thus allows the reader to connect more to the story. If you're one to normally avoid Angel novels at all costs, try to push that aside and read this book as the story is fantastically structured. The narrative gives us just enough time to get used to one part of Penryn's journey before we are yanked away by our hair and thrown into a completely new part of the journey and it works so well. What continued to be one of my favourite moments in this book was Penryn's mother turning up all over the place, she is slightly insane and it's absolutely great.

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Now, I'm sure everybody has already heard of Angelfall - the internet phenomenon that has taken the book world by storm - but just in case you haven't, or have but don't know what it's about, here is a quick rundown.

I, like thousands of others, rate this book 5 stars out of 5 just because it is so amazingly, fantastically awesome and you should check it out for the sheer amount of stupid adjectives that I have used to describe this novel. Seriously, check it out.


The Great Gatsby Review

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By Meg Handley

If you’re familiar with the timeless novel by the illustrious F. Scott Fitzgerald of which this anticipated movie is based upon, then you won’t expect anything less than glamorous girls, luxurious living and a hell of a lot of partying. However, attempting a film adaptation on a classic novel, adored by millions, has proven to be a daring task to undertakethe result could be anything from the awful abysmal that ‘Gulliver’s Travels’ was, to the marvellous modification that ‘Life of Pi’ was; also highly anticipated this year. However, I was soon put at ease as I saw the words ‘Directed by Baz Luhrmann’ plastered in gleaming white letters across the glossy Gatsby poster. With my supreme admiration of Luhrmann’s previous work (Moulin Rouge, Romeo +Juliet) surely there was no way I could be disappointed by another one of his awaited variations... Or would I? Having admittedly (and with regret having not read it sooner) only recently read the acclaimed novel ‘The Great Gatsby’; I had clear hopes for the film. As well as being captivated by the book, the wondrous soundtrack to accompany the movie, collectively featuring the diverse likes of Lana Del Rey, Beyonce and Gotye, formed by the prominent rapper and producer Jay-Z, further raised my expectations, not to mention the immensely talented cast, starring many Alist Hollywood names including Leonardo DiCaprio, Isla Fisher and many more. I was eager for something breathtaking. The film begins somewhat miserably, with the opening scenes of a drab and depressing psychiatrist’s office, hidden in the snow, used to introduce the unreliable narrator, a naive and nervous New York newcomer, Nick Carraway (Tobey Maguire), known to most characters in the film as Daisy Buchanan’s (Carey Mulligan) cousin.


Warner Bros From then on, setting is clearly established, we are rushed back in time to 1920’s America, oozing with wealth, prosperity and innovation but also scandal, deviousness and dangerous gangster lifestyles; much of this gloom is shown in the bleak ‘Valley of the Ashes’ where deprived lives are lived. But it was still a new kind of wild, as we see most certainly see in the film through the swift shots of skyscrapers, bustling crowds and gleaming lights. The aesthetics of this movie are undoubtedly and unquestionably incredible- from the moment New York is introduced, from the flashing yellow cabs to the embellished Prada designed dresses, it’s difficult to take your eyes off the colours and splendour. Unfortunately, it’s pretty easy to take your eyes off the acting. Leonardo DiCaprio, who plays Jay Gatsby, is one, arguably the only one, of the actors who stays true to his character throughout and portrays Gatsby as he should be: mysterious, copious, hopeful but also deceitful and dishonest at times; personifying the grand era that was 1920s America (plus he can pull off a baby pink suit surprisingly well). As for the others, they just don’t do their characters justice. Daisy seems too simplistic most of the time; her concealed repressed feelings about her life barely come above the surface whilst Tom seems to portray a man who never changes his angry, self-centred state, no matter what happens, which although is true to Tom’s character in some respect, shows a lack of miscellaneous emotions, something of which all fictitious individuals should

It’s all just a bit too flamboyant. Warner Bros show to really reveal the dimensions of a character. Without giving too much away, the story of The Great Gatsby tells an evocative tale of who exactly Jay Gatsby is or rather who he pretends to be. His love for the beautiful and delicate Daisy proves to be immense, as Gatsby will go to any length to win back her love, the love they shared pre-war, prior to her marriage to the treacherous and wicked Tom Buchanan (Joel Edgerton)

High aspirations and confidence in this altered copy have ultimately resulted in an effective film in terms of visuals, but as for everything else, well, I couldn’t say it was quite the American Dream it could have been.

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intricate and tender moments of the whole book, by focusing on what he does bestcreating startling graphics, which in turn, distracts the audience from really becoming enchanted by the story but also leaving them with a feeling of dissatisfaction and desolation.

Gatsby’s sumptuous mansion in West Egg, Long Island, situated directly across from Daisy’s also luxuriant home and next to Nick Carraway’s somewhat less striking, modest cottage, and the endless parties he hosts in it, is just one secret declaration of this mystifying love. However, it seems the true spirit of the honoured novel is lost somewhere along the way; the overwhelming visuals, although glittering (literally), engulf the actual story. Too much disappointment, Luhrmann extensively abandons the most

Warner Bros


Scrolls Review

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By Chris Ahart


Scrolls is a strategic hybrid TCG (trading card game) made by the Mojang, creators of popular sandbox game Minecraft. As their second game, can it hold its own against other highly popular TCG's?

Gameplay The first thing to point out is that Scrolls focuses almost entirely on PvP, and as such it an always online game with no offline mode. As such, in a similar way to popular eSports titles such as Starcraft 2, there are ranked and unranked multiplayer options in addition to singleplayer challenges called 'trials'. Initially, you are given the choice between 3 preconstructed decks each focusing on 3 different races which are 'energy', 'growth' and 'order'. Similar to other TCG's such as Magic: The Gathering, each race focuses on a particular play style with growth promoting weak but collectively strong scrolls (units); energy with very powerful but few scrolls; and order as an intermediate focusing on scroll synergy. A unique feature of Scrolls is that scrolls from different races can be mixed, with many complementing each other creating a high skill cap for the game.


Units are placed onto the field by using 'resources', which are only gained by sacrificing a single card for one mineral in your hand once per turn. As is normal, more powerful units cost more resources than less powerful ones Further increasing the skill cap is the addition of tiles or 'hexes', which adds a highly strategic element of unit placement and subsequent counter-measures.

Deck Building Each deck must contain 50 scrolls and cant contain more than 3 of the same scroll, therefore it is key to make sure your deck has an even balance of creatures, structures (units which can't be moved,), enchantments (altering the statistics of friendly units) and spells (altering statistics of enemy units).

Conclusion Although sure not to be as popular Minecraft, Scrolls is a highly developed and unique TCG.

SpaceChem Review By Ashley Latimer

While playing, you are an engineer working for the company SpaceChem. They are the leading chemical synthesisers in the cosmos. Your job is to construct systems inside reactors which will carry out reactions. To begin with it might be something as simple as moving the molecule to a different location. Eventually you will be constructing massive systems to produce valuable chemicals. Your aim is to meet the quotas set to you by the company, while trying to minimise the number of components used so you get more points. When I started I struggled to work out what to do, randomly clicking to no avail. It took me around 5 minutes to realise there was a set of instructions staring me in the face. This game isn’t hugely intuitive, if you don’t follow the instructions it’s difficult to get going. If you follow the tutorial you will find out the basic components and mechanics for the systems you build. After a few levels you will be able to go at it alone! Due to the fact this is a puzzle game it actually requires you to think. Some people might think that’s strange for a game, but it’s actually very rewarding when you figure out the problem. Call me crazy but I actually got excited when I worked out how to get past the last level of the demo. You even get to apply some very basic knowledge you obtained in chemistry, and feel good because you understand it (hopefully).

In-game screenshot. The game also has the ability to download maps which have been made by other members of the community. You can also enter a sandbox mode where you can push the game to its limits or develop your own problems for others to solve.

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SpaceChem takes what you learn in science and lets you apply it in a much less academic environment.

The demo is a completely free, and takes a minute or two to download. It took me around an hour to play through, and if you’re interested it’s worth a quick play. If you’re interested in finding out more, the game was made by Zachtronics Industries in 2011. To find out more you can visit their website…

In-game screenshot.

As you move forward things will become more complex and elaborate. Instead of simply producing some hydrogen by reacting two chemicals together, you instead start combining reactors towards a common goal. For example, you might have to create a set of controlled reactions to produce fuel to get a truck across the SpaceChem facility. However, once you get to the last level on each planet you will be pushed to your limits when you’re given a timed challenge to defend the facility from a hoard of attacking aliens.


The Race for Victory in the ‘Sports Diplomacy’ League By Josh McStay

 theREVIEW Sport

In centuries past a vast army would have done the trick, or more recently, merely an effective press censorship wing. But in today’s inter-connected world the best way to protect an autocratic regime may well be to invest in the world of sport. An industry based on goals, runs and timings, issues such as universal suffrage and primary education for all are of less importance than your team sneaking a last-minute winner at the back post. However, for the oligarch, sheikh and despot, investing in sport offers an opportunity to gain international credibility overnight. Although the shallowness Bill Shankly’s claim that ‘some people believe football is a matter of life and death... I can assure you it is much, much more than that’, was displayed in the wake of the Hillsborough disaster of 1989, the connection between sports fans and their teams is unique. When the Russian oligarch Alexander Lebedev purchased the London Evening Standard perhaps a few aged eyebrows were raised by Financial Times readers, yet when Roman Abramovich purchased Chelsea Football Club and then proceeded to invest heavily in the transfer market; hundreds of thousands of football fans drew a connection between themselves and the Russian billionaire. For the vast majority, the questions being asked were not of the morality of the murky circumstances resulting in Ambramovich’s vast wealth, but rather how would the new signing of Juan Sebastien Veron adapt to a team centred around Frank Lampard (very poorly, in actuality). Across the globe, many professional sports teams are not just a form of entertainment, but often the heartbeat of a local area. This is especially the case for football teams, from Boca Juniors of Argentina to Carlisle United. Seldom is the connection between the people of a city and their football team replicated by a business, for whilst the annual revenue of a Premier League team and an ASDA superstore is comparable, the emotional attachment is not. Furthermore, whilst a

17 despot simply throwing money at an ineffectual educational department will not necessarily improve local literacy rates, a much stronger correlation exists between monies invested in sports teams and success on the pitch, facilitating favourable recognition from those with money and power. On the 23rd November 2010, a dinner was held along the banks of the Seine. Like a scene from an Ian Fleming novel, four wealthy men sat round a dinner table, each wishing to promote their own cause. The four men were the then French president, Nicholas Sarkozy, the Crown Prince of Qatar, Sheikh Tamim Bin Hamad al-Thani, the American owner of the Paris St-Germain football team and Michel Platini, President of UEFA. The details of the meeting remain shrouded in mystery, but just one month later Platini voted for Qatar to host the 2022 World Cup, a decision that promises to result in a logistical nightmare for the European football leagues he represents. Furthermore, just weeks before the Arab Spring revolutions would destabilise governments in Bahrain and Jordan, Qatar was receiving unprecedented international prowess. By 2011, the relationship between France and Qatar had become further embedded. The Crown Prince of Qatar had turned PSG into one of the richest football clubs in the World, Platini’s son had taken up a managerial role at a Qatari sportswear company, and Qatar Airways had placed an order for $6.7 billion worth of French-made Airbus 320s. Although coverage of the Qatar 2022 World Cup may suggest a considerable own goal by the Qatari authorities, a nation with no significant sporting history


whatsoever is now leading the international ‘sports diplomacy’ league. Whilst twenty years ago a coup in Qatar would have been the lead story on the BBC World Service and caused have a headache for the Foreign Office, today it would be the lead story on both front and back pages across the world. Aside from the directly political ramifications, FIFA would be forced to re-consider the host nation for 2022, FC Barcelona would be losing their largest sponsor, and PSG would be staring into a financial oblivion. More importantly, people would be interested, and international governments would be more likely to compromise with the regime as a consequence.

Roman Ambramovich is probably the best-known foreign investor in a Premier League team. Since purchasing Chelsea for £140m in 2003 he has invested a further £1billion in the side. Ambramovich’s vast wealth largely results from cut price oil shares sold to his company by Boris Yeltsin, the former Russian president, in order to fund his election campaign.

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Getty Images

Over at Manchester City’s Etihad Stadium, a banner continues to drape over the East Stand. The banner proclaims: ‘Manchester thanks you Sheikh Mansour’. A member of the Arab ruling elite who has purchased both a football club, and the favour of an entire city, it perfectly illustrates the shrewd investment a sports team can offer.


Transfer Window Review

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By Stuart Astle

Whilst Gareth Bale’s record breaking departure from Tottenham Hotspur to Real Madrid for £85.3m may have ultimately dominated the English Premier League transfer headlines, there has been no shortage of talent joining English teams this season. Premier League clubs managed to spend a staggering £630m (marginally less than the entire GDP of the Nation of Samoa) on new players, and despite feeling slightly shocked at the inflated values of footballers these days, I cannot help feeling slightly excited at the prospect of these new stars displaying their skills in the our stadiums on a weekly basis. Here’s a quick snapshot of some of the most interesting signings on show.

Mesut Özil – Arsenal Born in Germany to Turkish parents, Özil joined Arsenal on deadline day for a fee of around £42.5m from Real Madrid. Having originally made his name with German side Werder Bremen, and following impressive performances at the 2010 World Cup, Özil moved to Spanish giants Real for approximately £12.5m. After initial successes, winning both La Liga and Copa Del Rey medals, his presence in the first team began to fade, and following the arrival on new manager Carlo Ancellotti, agreed to sign for London club Arsenal, in a bid to find new successes. With superb ball control, a touch for killer passes and fantastic improvisation skills, Özil has a reputation for being “The King of the Assist”. His arrival will certainly please Arsenal’s striker Olivier Giroud, who often seemed starved of supply last season. Özil’s presence will hopefully also allow Jack Wilshere, Arsenal’s English prodigy, to play a more natural, deeper role this season, enabling him to control the game in front of him. Despite being the Gunner’s only notable signing, Özil will give Arsenal more potency in the final third, providing both assists and goals aplenty.


Christian Eriksen – Tottenham Hotspur Another late signing, Danish attacking midfielder Eriksen is one of seven major new arrivals to Tottenham following Gareth Bale’s departure. What marks him out is that, at the age of just 21 he already has 39 caps to his name. After spending his childhood with Danish side Odense, Eriksen signed for Ajax in October 2008. Having broken into the Ajax first team in early 2010, a first World Cup with Morten Olsen’s international side beckoned, with starts against the Netherlands and Japan. After three more seasons impressing in the Dutch Erevidisie and Champions League, he signed for Tottenham in a deal worth £11m. At only 1.75m, Eriksen is certainly no midfield powerhouse like Man City’s Yaya Toure, but his skill on the ball and ability to run quickly at backtracking defenders are enough to worry any opposition. Combine this with a glorious range of short and long passes, as well as a fearsome long-range shot, and you have a young man with the potential to star in at least three future World Cups over the coming years. His major challenge will be gelling with the Tottenham’s many other new signings this summer, as Andre Villas Boas hopes to finally forge a team capable of challenging rivals Arsenal for the title of “Best North London Team”.

Jesús Navas – Manchester City

Navas’ primary asset is his sheer blistering pace. Able to clock 100m in 10.8 seconds, he is infamous for having been banned from the Sevilla FC gym, after breaking a treadmill due to setting too high a pace for too long. Allied to that are his excellent dribbling skills, and the ability to play on either flank, making him a defender’s worst nightmare, causing opposition defences to sit back and play cautiously. His presence will give City much more width, something notably lacking last season, and the effect of him forces defences to sit back will allow midfielders Yaya Toure and Fernandinho to drive forward with greater effect. If City are to wrest the Premier League back off rivals

Wilfried Bony – Swansea City A player who originally began his football on the streets of Bingerville in the Ivory Coast, striker Bony has been described by many as the “new Didier Drogba”. Having started his professional career with Issia Wazi in the Ivorian League, Bony was to have an unsuccessful trial with Liverpool FC before signing for Czech side Sparta Prague in 2008, signing 22 goals in 59 matches, winning the Czech Supercup in 2010. In 2011, Bony moved to Dutch side Vitesse Arnhem , scoring 12 times in his first season, the club’s highest that year. The following year, a tally of 31 goals in 30 games saw him attract interest from many clubs around Europe, prompting him to sign for Welsh side Swansea in a move worth £12m.

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One of five signings made by City this summer, in addition to new manager Manuel Pellegrini, the surprise about Navas’ move is that is has taken so long for him to leave his boyhood club Sevilla. Making his debut at the age of 18, he soon established himself in the first team side, helping them on their way to two Uefa Cup titles and a Uefa Super Cup title, as well as gold medals in the Copa Del Rey and Spanish Super Cup. He also made his presence known on the international scene, with strong performances for Spain in the 2010 World Cup. Despite talks of moves to top clubs around Europe, such as Chelsea and Inter Milan, Navas preferred to stay with Sevilla, citing severe homesickness problems, which had affected him on tournaments with Spain. However, the temptation of a big club move eventually became too strong, and in June 2013, Navas signed for Sheikh Mansour’s Manchester City in a deal reportedly worth £14.9m.

Manchester United, there is no doubt Navas will play a pivotal role.

Whilst Bony’s price tag may not catch the eye like other signings this summer, his arrival adds more menace to an already threatening Swansea attack. At 1.84m, he has the strength to hold off defenders and win aerial battles, but his pace in behind the opposition and clinical finishing mean that he is no simple target man. He will provide Swansea, renowned for their deft passing game, a different attacking option against resilient opponents, and hopefully draw defenders’ attention away from strike partner Michu, who will be hoping to improve on last year’s impressive haul of 22 goals. Despite lacking the glamour of other signings such as Navas or Eriksen, Bony’s arrival is a real coup for League Cup winners Swansea, who have legitimate hopes of more silverware this season.


Winter is coming…

 theREVIEW Fashion

By Puja Gurung

Personally, saying goodbye to the sunny weather and welcoming the cold winter is never my favourite thing to do. Change of season means I have to readjust almost everything. So to allow a smooth transition from summer to autumn/winter, here is a list of some of the must-haves to prepare you from what might lie ahead… 1. The cold winter breeze can often be harsh on our skin. To restore and hydrate our skin, a moisturiser is must have! (Tip - A little hand cream in your bag will never go wrong.) 2. It doesn’t just end at protecting your skin; winter can prove quite harsh on the lips too. The cold wind tends to dry them out even quicker due to their constant exposure to the chilly wind. To protect them, lip balm is an absolute essential. Unless chapped lips are your thing. Even though the things above help you look radiant along the cold harsh journey until the warm seasons arrive, keeping yourself warm is crucial. In order to do this, it might be a good idea to have a few new additions to your wardrobe along with what you already might have. Where can you start?

to follow the trend and still be comfortable! 5. Oversized Outerwear - following the ‘comfy’ look trend this winter, oversized outer wears are also a great essential since its versatility allows you to incorporate all the different trends altogether at once like tartan & plaid. Although it’s a great piece on its own, it’s also a great layering piece as you can add layers on top and underneath it to obtain different looks- chic, punk etc… 6. Beanies - a laidback look isn’t quite complete without a beanie. And due to them being a great go-to accessory this season, you can have a warm head and be fashionable at the same time! Knit beanies in particular. 7. Scarves - they’re great layering accessories and can be a statement piece at the same time. 8. Turtlenecks - if you’re not that into scarves then these are a great alternative. Being staple pieces, they can be paired with almost anything without much thought being required! Easy and simple!

3. Tights - they are one of the most flexible pieces of clothing as you’re able to pair it with almost anything. This makes the transition between summer and winter smoother as you’re able to recycle summer clothing like shorts and dresses. Therefore keeping you warm and saving you money at the same time. 4. Leggings - if you’re the type of person that picks comfort over style, leggings are also a great way to keep warm and still be stylish. As patterned leggings are a massive hit this season, you’re able


Autumn Allure By Sarah Drozdz

gorgeous array and held the photographic

year. The morning of the first September

memories of her pre-uni days. She paused

was crisp and golden as an apple...”

on a street corner, her hand wrapped

April’s mind clung to the remarkable words of J.K. Rowling as they swam sporadically through her mind as though September was still looming. Her East Twinkle tweed coat was buttoned all the way up to the black faux fur lined collar and the blood rushed to the vessels in her cheeks, making her blush with the cold. October was her adorned time of the year. It was the time when the smell of wood burning would catch in her throat and it

around a lamppost as she exhaled and smiled towards the sky above her. “Life is magical” she grinned, “I wish it didn’t have to end”. Everything that once felt dirty in the long exhausting months of summer was now beautiful and brought to life. The leaves that crunched beneath her boots were of warm and myriad hues and she could have kicked them into the air with such





gracefully onto the blanketed pavements.

was the time that the crumbs from her

In that split second she remembered the

favourite Cinnamon swirl would


harrowing expression of her Mother as she

delicately onto the soft fibres of her fur

clung desperately to her hand. It was not

collar as she enjoyed every savouring

her Mother sat in the patient’s chair, but


she herself. She had not received the

She had slinked past an open air market, arm linked with her Mother. The market was jam packed with busy customers who were stocking up for the upcoming winter. She could almost taste the jugs of apple cider and the spices that filled the air and had everyone flooding to the international food stalls. From afar, she could hear the

reassuring look that cleared her life from the haunting illnesses inflicted upon her in all those twenty three years, but the look of doubt and the feeling of lost hope. Her cancer ridden body was being eaten away day by day so this was the time to live those last moments in the place that she loved.

reverberations of children laughing as they

She glanced at her Mother who was not far

helped their Parents choose the finest

behind her. She heart silently ached and

looking Pumpkin to carve, their faces all

she forced a smile. “Mum” she breathed.

sticky from the sickly chocolate that had


come from the golden wrappers stuffed in

“mhmm?” and carried on towards her.

their tiny pockets.

April felt a great pain coursing through her

April was lost in this divine moment, this moment of total awe and relaxation. She imagined being sprawled on the sofa back in her flat, the pumpkin candles burning

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“Autumn seemed to arrive suddenly that






body, not physical pain, but emotional pain. “When the time comes for me to leave, will you still come here every year?” At that moment, they both fell silent.

softly in the background amidst the long row of photo frames which sparkled with


I Know a Girl By Shannon Johnston

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I know a girl, She is awfully shy. Never liked strangers, No-one knows why…

She always hides away, Inside baggy clothes. She is very pretty, But I don’t think she knows.

Never see her eat, Never see her smile. Trips to the bathroom Always take a while.

After the holidays, She stopped turning up for class. No-one knows why, And no-one would ask.

I knew a girl, Who was awfully shy. Such a pretty young girl, Why did she die?

No-one can battle depression alone.


Gender Equality in the 21st Century By Rei Madarani

Is Miley Cyrus married? Has she got any

‘Justify My Love’ aired and was

children? Is she enjoying her life like

banned by MTV. Recently Miley

nearly all the girls her age? Are there more

Cyrus performed at the VMA’s and

important things happening in the world

shortly afterwards she released a

other than the fact that Miley Cyrus


released a raunchy video? The answer to





interesting opinions.

all these questions is yes.

23 years ago, Madonna’s ‘Justify My Love’

Nearly all the rappers and singers that

video and many of her other songs gained

people seem to just ‘love’ are all married,

her many compliments. People have

in their late thirties or older and have

praised Madonna for being proud of her

children but most people think it is

body, her sexuality, and showing people

completely alright that they can sing the

that being who you want to be isn’t a

songs that they sing or appear in trashy

problem. This year Miley Cyrus’s video for

music videos. These men are not called

the song ‘Wrecking Ball’ showed breasts, it

degrading names or shamed.

was in black and white and it showed a lot of emotion just like Madonna’s video. These two videos which are very similar have provoked very different responses. What has changed in the past 23 years?

Miley Cyrus didn’t sing a song about getting into bed; she was naked in her music video. What is wrong with that? Lots of men do it. Men throughout history have painted naked women and gained

When people think about gender equality

worldwide fame so why is it ‘wrong’ and

they think that it’s all about how men and

‘disgusting’ when a woman does it?

women should be able to get the same jobs or be paid the same amount of money. Even though those are important aspects of gender equality; what about the way that women and men are perceived in the media and in societies? Why is it acceptable in today’s society to judge a woman for dressing provocatively or appearing naked in a music video, yet accept a man can rap or sing about how many women he’s been with? Why is it alright for a man to sing a song about how a woman doesn’t really mean no when she says no? Why is it alright for a man to appear half naked in videos in provocative positions with girls that are half his age?

 theREVIEW Miscellanous

23 years ago, Madonna’s video for

The scary truth is that this inequality is not only present among singers; it is everywhere you look. The reality is that women are shamed for being comfortable with





themselves through this. We live in and are influenced by a society that claims to have left behind the ‘old ways’ of inequality, that claims that everyone is free to do what they want and that you can be whoever you want to be. So why is that in a society that claims to be like this in the 21st century; people are more narrow minded and judgemental than ever before?


Kentucky Fried Exploitation By Anna Young

 theREVIEW Miscellanous

For many of us, the acquisition of a job is one of the key milestones of adulthood. Holding a paycheque in your hands that is completely and utterly your own, for you to spend or invest however you please, can be a very rewarding experience and often marks





independence. However, some employers can take advantage of the naivety and

optimism with which young people can enter the job market; and all too often cases emerge of part-time workers not being shown the respect they deserve.

quit: their parents pay all the important bills






displayed by David Cameron at the

Controversy over the infamous ‘zero-hours

Conservative Party Conference this month.

contract’ - in which employees work only

Discussing the 1.9 million 16-24 year olds

when they are needed and have no

in the UK who are not in education,

guarantee of regular hours- has been

employment or training; Cameron stated

making the rounds on the news lately;

that his government will aim to cut



housing benefits for under-25s: ‘Today it

condemning the practice as ‘Exploitation

is still possible to leave school, sign on,

which leaves workers carrying all of the

find a flat, start claiming housing benefits

burdens of unpredictable hours, irregular

and opt for a life on benefits. It’s time for

pay, [and] no security for the future.’ Not

bold action here.’ (As a forgiving and

surprisingly, the Resolution Foundation

generous soul, I shall leave aside for the

and the Work Foundation have found that

moment Cameron’s misinformed tendency

the number of zero-hours contracts is

to portray reliance on benefits as a choice,

higher among young people than other age

and concentrate on the matter at hand.)




groups. Unfortunately, the exploitation of a young workforce is prevalent in consistent parttime jobs as well. Of course, it is perfectly reasonable to respond to this sentiment with a dismissive reply of ‘if young people have a job that they hate, they should just


Daily Mirror



discouraging dependence on government cheques for so-called ‘NEETs’ is naturally to be approved of, yet by restricting support for young people who wish to move out of their childhood home and start their own life, is Cameron not simply

forcing them to be equally as dependent on their parents as they would have been

internships and zero-hour contracts have

on the government? Strangely, the outline

become the norm; low-paid, long-hours

for this policy appeared in the same

and high-stress positions are offered on a

speech in which Cameron spoke of his

‘take it or leave it basis’ for young people.








‘helping home’.

young This

dangerous habit of portraying parents as all-knowing,




importantly, all-paying guardians that a young person can always fall back on is exactly what people have in mind when saying that young people who are treated unfairly at their work should just quit. Mr Cameron needs to keep in mind that just because





therefore their views do not directly impact on his career; their rights and opinions still need to be respected.

 theREVIEW Miscellanous

 theREVIEW Miscellanous


The new housing benefit proposals are merely yet another grievance to add to the pile. What is the reason for this? Adult disdain for youth culture? A lack of a platform for young people to express their concerns? Or is it down to the unfortunate fact that many adults find it all too difficult to remember the hardships and frustrations of being young? If the latter is true, then the only lasting and effective way that we as 16-18 year olds can combat the




downright exploitation facing us in the working world is to endeavour not to make

Naturally, each of us is more concerned

the same mistakes ourselves. Only then

with the treatment of our own age group

can we move towards being a truly equal

by the government and society than


others; so perhaps my words contain an element of self-interested bias, but it is hard to deny that the 16-25 age group is currently facing more than their face share of





nationwide protests that failed to stop rising university tuition fees; unpaid


Dispelling the Romantic Illusion

 theREVIEW Miscellanous

By Miriam Van den Berg and Bridie Leonard Whether you are a fan of the classics or not, nothing can beat bold and smouldering hero. But is Mr Darcy the dashing, chivalrous hero he is commonly known as? Are any of the generic romantic heroes, in fact, really the model gentlemen they’re reputed to be? Throughout the generations, girls everywhere have longed for Lancelot, desired Darcy, hungered for Heathcliff, and rhapsodised Rochester and Romeo – but this article will dispel many of those idealistic beliefs. Mr Darcy, in Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, is commonly seen as the author’s most dashing hero. It is undeniable that Darcy, on paper, is a specimen of perfection: he loves Elizabeth unconditionally despite her unfortunate relations and lack of wealth; he is a staunch guardian of his little sister, kind and fair to his tenants, notably handsome; not to mention rather rich. Despite his ability to be polite and gracious when it pleases him, he seems to consider that some people and circumstances are simply not worth his while. From Elizabeth’s first impression it is evident, despite his housekeeper’s protestations of “some people call him proud, but I never saw anything of it,” that his pride and sarcastic nature outweigh the benefits which good-breeding and education should have reaped. Furthermore, his hypocrisy towards the issue of marriage is sickening: denying his friend, Mr Bingley a happy, harmonious marriage for reasons of Jane’s family, only to profess his love to her younger sister, Elizabeth, a few months later. Even worse, how graciously he gives his permission to Bingley at the end of the novel; allowing his friend to make himself and Jane happy. At the same time, it might be said, that he is blithely pursuing Elizabeth for the same end without a second thought. Objectively, Heathcliff, of Emily Bronte’s Wuthering Heights, is without doubt the least pleasant of all the romantic heroes. His cruelty, violence, instability and


manipulation of those around him ensure one the most volatile and un-relatable (anti) heroes ever written. Despite his reputed love for Cathy, the reader never sees the evidence for this emotion at all; the character opts instead to let the full wrath of his vindictive nature upon her; marrying Isabella out of spite, therefore not only causing distress to Cathy, but ruining the lives of Isabella and their son, Linton. The one recognisable emotion Heathcliff displays is towards Mr Earnshaw, who was the one to take him in during childhood. When the latter dies, it is not only Cathy but Heathcliff who “set up a heart-breaking cry,” mourning the loss of his surrogate father. Aside from Heathcliff, Mr Rochester, the hero of Jane Eyre, is perhaps the easiest of the romantic heroes to disparage. He has no scruples about manipulating and lying to the people around him to gain his own interests, particularly when using Blanche Ingram to force Jane not only into abject despair for what she sees as unrequited love, but into confessing her own feelings before he admits his own. This is, perhaps his cruellest action by far. The “vehemence of emotion, stirred by grief and love” he causes Jane is unnecessary and vindictive, not to mention his later deception when he finally plucks up the courage to propose. His promise to tell Jane his secret “when we have been married a year and a day,” is deliberately designed to trap Jane into their marriage – given that if he tells her that he was already married a year after a false marriage to her, then she will be, if not pregnant then a ruined woman at the very least, by the standards of the time. Given Jane’s moral principle, the knowledge that she had unwittingly become someone’s mistress would have emotionally destroyed her. On the other hand, Rochester would not be so well loved had he not abundant redeeming qualities. His deception, although dishonest, can be honestly justified given what he has had to struggle through in life: tricked into a marriage with a mad woman for some twenty years, most of which he spent wandering the

His fickleness goes hand in hand with his impulsive nature, characterised by the sudden shift in his emotions in Act 1 Scene 5, in which he says of Juliet “I ne’er saw true beauty till this night.” Again, this is only hours after he has been declaring in conjunction with Rosaline’s beauty that he “ne’er saw her match…” Admittedly passionate; but changeable? Chronically so.

BBC Earth trying to find solace, only to find that the one woman who can truly make him happy is barred from him by human law. Sir Lancelot, who frequents much of the Arthurian legends, is the best known of King Arthur’s knights – but his fame is not always for the best reasons. True, he is the archetypal knight in shining armour, forever riding around on horseback, rescuing damsels and generally being chivalrous; but his affair with Queen Guinevere is the spark that ignites the fire, conflagrating the kingdom. Not to mention that the affair itself went dead against his vows as a knight – loyalty to the king, valour, honour, et cetera. Romeo, the eponymous protagonist of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, is well known for his passionate and devoted nature, not to mention that the capabilities of speech provided for him by Shakespeare are quite enough to melt any girl’s heart. However, how much of his adoration of Juliet can be attributed to genuine ‘true love’, and how much to the normal infatuation of an average teenager? Granted, he commits suicide when he thinks that she is dead, but he is also impulsive enough to kill Juliet’s cousin, just hours after having married her. This same impulsiveness is the reason

The last of our parade of romantic heroes is Rhett Butler, of Gone With The Wind. Despite his frequent visits to a prostitute, his sarcasm, insincerity, and ability to exploit any given situation, his love for Scarlett is undeniable. He is there for her when she is otherwise a social pariah (although her position as an outcast is largely due to his influence) and doesn’t treat her as a fragile little flower, instead allowing her to run the business without his intervention – a rarity in that day and age. “A startling thought this, that a woman could handle business matters as well as or better than a man, a revolutionary thought to Scarlett who had been reared in the tradition that men were omniscient and women none too bright.”

 theREVIEW Miscellanous

for his sudden, desperate suicide, and, by extension, Juliet’s.

But the tempestuous nature of their relationship means that on occasion, Rhett can be cruel and indifferent – even resorting to physical blows. His good head for business gives way to revealing a darker side to his character – one that ruthlessly takes advantage of a war, using the suffering it causes for his own pragmatic ends. “There’s just as much money to be made in the wreck of a civilisation as in the up-building of one.” The authors of this article would like to apologise, first and foremost, for the destruction of various romantic heroes, but would also like it to be known that despite their numerous flaws, we still adore Rochester, and all his anti-heroic counterparts.


Which 20th Century Dictator are you?

 theREVIEW Miscellanous

By Anna Young

What is your idea of the ideal outfit? A. A spotlessly clean yet imposing matching set of jodhpurs and thigh-high black boots. B. A plain grey overcoat to show my hatred of bourgeoisie luxury. Or a smart white blazer with solid gold buttons. Mmm, shiny. C. Either full military regalia, upper-class tailored black tie, or the rugged peasant look. It depends on my mood. How do you feel about facial hair? A- Acceptable, as long as it is properly trimmed and combed. B- Moustaches are useful both for striking fear into the enemy’s heart and for keeping your face warm from the bitter Siberian wind. C- I don’t approve of anything that distracts from my glorious chin. How intensely do you stare at people? A- Very intensely, as well as standing a bit too close to people when I talk. I enjoy invading personal space almost as much as I enjoy invading Poland. B- Quite intensely, but people don’t notice because my eyes are nearly completely hidden behind my huge proletariat eyebrows. C- I try not to, but my bulging eyes make that quite difficult. Which historical figure do you most admire? A- Anyone heroic, German and blonde. B- Vladimir Ilyich Lenin. The man, the myth, the Marxist. C- Myself. How is your relationship with your mother? A- Fine. Not weird at all. Definitely not weird. B- Russia is the only the mother I need. C- Great. She gave birth to me, what else could you ask for in a woman? How would you describe your political views? A- Extreme. But extremely necessary. B- The opposite of whatever that meddlesome toe-rag Trotsky says. C- Good old-fashioned modernism. With pasta. What are your views on working class people? A- The nationalist-socialist dream is achievable for anyone! Unless you’re a woman. Or left-wing… B- I adore them! My every decision is made in order to promote the wellbeing of those noble people. Not the peasants though. Ew. C- They’re great, as long as they’re willing to FIGHT in a brutal, bloody war for the honour of a nation that’s only been around for seventy years! What’s the most important thing to you? A- The glorious nation of Germany and its master race… Even though I’m Austrian and have brown hair and blue eyes. B- The moneyland. I mean motherland. C- My collection of hats. How do you deal with criticism? A- Calmly and reasonably. Then I burn down my own parliament building and blame it on them. B- I find a swift ice-pick to the back can sort out any problem. C- Send them into exile on a sunny island off the south coast of Italy. That’ll teach them to mess with me!


Mostly ‘A’s: Hitler You are driven, charismatic and uncompromising. Using your ability to persuade thousands of ordinary people to forsake their sense of humanity, you were responsible for some of the worst atrocities of the 20th century. You are a vegetarian and love opera.

 theREVIEW Miscellanous

What do you look for in a romantic partner? A- I like to have lots in common with them. Taste in music, sense of humour, last name... B- Russia is the only bride I need. C- A lady who can appreciate a decent chin and a noble cause.

German Federal Archive

Mostly ‘B’s: Stalin Paranoid and ruthless, you stopped at nothing to ensure absolute power over the USSR in the 1930s. Despite being inspired by Marxist-Leninist ideology that advocated collective leadership and sharing of wealth, your dictatorial regime was characterised by megalomania and excess. You were also quite the looker when you were younger!

Mostly ‘C’s: Mussolini The least-known of the three, you are politically cunning, idealistic, and more than a little bit weird. Styling yourself as a new Roman emperor, you ran Italy in the 1920s and 30s under the confused and inconsistent ideology of Fascism; which was only formally written down in 1932. In your spare time you enjoy encouraging your subjects to eat more pasta and constructing huge statues of your own face on the front of public buildings.

Library of Congress


Logic Puzzles

 theREVIEW Miscellanous

By Samuel Bancroft

Puzzle 1: One large box and one small box are placed on a table. One is coloured red, and the other is coloured green. Bob describes both these boxes in turn. At least one of his descriptions is a lie. He says:

‘The large box is green.’ ‘The small box is red.’ Which box is coloured red, and which is coloured green?

Puzzle 2: A delivery truck laden with crates is involved in an accident on a motorway. It is thrown onto its side, and spills items out of the crates all over the tarmac. The truck contained two different sized types of boxes. There were ‘Jumbo Boxes’, which contained three smooth objects and four spiky objects. There were also ‘Mini Boxes’, which contained one smooth object and six spiky objects. 15 smooth objects and 48 spiky objects were spread over the motorway. How many ‘Jumbo Boxes’ and Mini Boxes’ lost all their contents?

Solutions available upon request.



By Samuel Bancroft


2 4 5


 theREVIEW Miscellanous


8 6




ACROSS 3 A drug that was first synthesised in 1965. 6 How many band members currently make up the ‘Arctic Monkeys’? 7 Who purchased Chelsea Football Club in 2003? 9 Who is the deputy leader of the UK Independence Party? 10 In what month of this year is Comet ISON expected to become easily visible in our skies?

DOWN 1 What does TCG stand for? 2 Who was the director of ‘The Great Gatsby’? 4 In which country was Mesut Özil born? 5 One of the top gap year destinations selected by students. 8 Who is the author of ‘Angelfall’?



 theREVIEW Miscellanous

By Samuel Bancroft


Answer Box: A




E 5


















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theReview - Edition 4 - William Howard School  
theReview - Edition 4 - William Howard School