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Ginger (1st Draft) by (Samantha Hamer) Proofed by (Kevin Nickells)

Girly Films 81 Lustrells Vale Saltdean Brighton BN2 8FA Mob; +44 (0) 752 240 6531 Email: Š Girly Films, all rights reserved, 2013





The moon illuminates a small stream and the two planks of wood forming a bridge over it. Rustling and the sound of small footsteps on soggy ground. GUMPH Ermat, Ermat wot yum dar doin? ERMAT I dunnozi Gumph. But she’s dunnozi’s yet. Oh, deery squip! GUMPH Oh Bloop! And Luna’s ripe for rippin it. Two sets of what look like very round, small glowing eyes, blink into view. Moving through the shadows of the bank side foliage, closer to the stream. At a height that might suggest, whatever is talking is about half the size of an average dwarf. ERMAT I Knowsi, right oo it, Gonna crunch it...! GUMPH Why Feasal Wheet be so cutesish, Makes us fog wot’s us spose? ERMAT Pook! Ma sqursal thumb’s got stook oop ma hooter ! GUMPH Wot yum dar doin wid hat, ya daft cow splat? Slews of frantic, snot-riddled rustling. Nubbin feet mud wrestle. Caked within those shadows, as the glowing eyes bob and weave. ERMAT Erble, eck erble. Ook eckin ook GUMPH! GUMPH Keepsy’s shore ERMAT. Stops majanderin all owes, Ya BLOOPIN SPLAT HEAD...! Light starts to radiate off the stream, the very hue of moonlight, it builds. © Girly Films, all rights reserved, 2013


Starts to light up all that surrounds it. One set of glowing eyes, the other hidden. What holds them remains caked in shadow. ERMAT Erble, Erble it go dum dar doin it. Luna’s at um er Majik! Pook, fecckin POOK, GUMPH, FECCKIN LOOK..! The planks of the bridge take on this light. Make them seem like their glowing themselves. The other set of glowing eyes turn into view. GUMPH FECCKIN, FECK ERMAT! Music plays out. “Wraith”, by Peace. [Adapt lyrics around “she’s such a wraith, lady of the soul”/ “Moon be dark forever”. Title Track, Theme Base as Instrumental] Incandescent, naked pale skin, bathed in light. Cooling off as if made of it. Standing on the bridge. The heels, the calves, the back of the knees, then the thighs of beautifully pale womanly legs. Curving, winding as if to the music. Not able speak properly, both at the same time. ERMAT (V.O.) She.. Boo.. Boo tilly. Boo... Tilly... Tilly... GUMPH (V.O.) She... Yummet... Yum... Oh she yum, yum yummet... We reach a gorgeously round bottom. A double splash rings out as does mumbling. Droplets of water fall onto the peachy pale skin. Music Builds. Rolling up past curvy hips, delicate hands, arms and back, droplets of water upon them. To reveal long ginger locks draped over rounded shoulders, starting to flow in curls as if in water. The ginger locks and droplets flow in to the title sequence. GINGER EPISODE ONE FEARY

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Close. Stylish, feminine, ginger locks. Within the foray of people who’ve alighted the train. To within the sea of bodies, framed by the stations cathedral like architecture. JAMES steps off the train, as a station Tannoy announces the arrival of 8:05 from London Victoria. Someone almost knocks the coffee out of his hand. Lackadaisically indifferent, he slowly looks up as time sets it’s own agenda. We watch a woman. In beautifully refined vintage shoes, dress and coat. JAMES (V.O.) Oh my... Her curves, her breasts. I could just... A eulogy to her hour glass figure. Lingering on her ample bosom. Her pausing within her handbag. Just as we bring our eyes to make out her features. JAMES (V.O.) She looks just like Jessica Rabbit, but real... Her Ginger locks effortlessly swirl around and with her dissolve into the crowd. JAMES (V.O.) Damn. Gone. If I could have only seen her face. Damn, if I could have only gotten her number. James you fool, a woman like that would never be interested in you, NEVER! JAMES looks up. He’s suddenly the only person now left on the platform. We look at the station clock. 3



A Rather ornate clock face but unusually with two second hands, one of which is going in reverse and even more oddly not even at a consistent speed. Along with two extra dials much like a chronograph set within the face. Currently static and adorned with unusual symbols, as we pull out to reveal a very ornate grandfather clock, but now looking at odds with a modern office reception. Which we discover as we pull back further to reveal a man looking at the clock mesmerized. Only to wake back up from his day dream. To the reality of the office reception counter, and in fact an office reception complete with receptionist, as if he’d just discovered such things exist. © Girly Films, all rights reserved, 2013


JAMES Wow... That’s some clock! REBECCA Hum... Yer... It’s an Ogalby family hairloom that’s been at the family solicitors business since time, un I forget... Eggs? JAMES Memorial.... It’s time, time immemorial, that’s what people say. REBECCA Hum... I don’t fink it was that...? Egg init, eggs or summet ? But anyway’s, soz to keep you waiting so long. You must know like loads working for the BBC? JAMES get’s up holding a cup. Walks over to REBECCA. JAMES No problem really... Un not really, more who you know. (under his breath) Egg, eggs...? REBECCA It’s just Mr. Ogalby Junior is never ere un Mr. Ogalby Senior sort-a-kinda either forgets or falls asleep. Your really lucky as you'll be seeing’s both, it’s very un-oosh-er-wal. Really it tis. JAMES Oh... Ok, a bit eccentric aye? REBECCA No... They have been like it all their lives. JAMES Owe... Kay...? I don’t suppose I could have another please Rebecca. He holds out the cup. JAMES (CONT’D) It was Rebecca wasn't it ? She fiddles with pens and paperwork all in a fluster, now avoiding eye contact.

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REBECCA Owe... umm... Yer just call me Becci, Cup yes... ummmm... could ya pass it to me? He looks bemused, as he’s already been holding it out for her. The second attempt is successful. JAMES Thanks? While he looks at her, she awkwardly takes the cup off him, as if she cannot quite work out where it is; despite seeing it. We trace her bizarre dance with the cup. Taking it out of the room, as if it were a large radioactive substance, rather than a mere cup. JAMES (CONT’D) (sighs, then under his breath) Few... Weird? He walks back to his seat. Looks around the room. Now noticing that there seems to be a disproportionate number of doors off the reception. JAMES (CONT’D) (under his breath) Blimey, each room must be tiny? He chuckles to himself. Suddenly finding a teddy on the seat next to him. Double taking it as if it’s appeared from nowhere. We see JAMES as if Teddy is looking at him. JAMES (V.O.) (sheepishly) You seem to be looking at me ? Do I know you, hum fuzzy bear ? I love you, I love you, I love you... Where on earth did that come from ? Owe... Kay... Maybe it’s just the pressure of such an important first assignment getting to me? ...Or this Place? He shakes the fuzzy bear’s hand. JAMES Nice to meet you fuzzy bear, what’s your name? The bear looks up at us.

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A Fuzzy Bear looks up at us, as two young lads about eight and three, snuggle up to it on the top bunk. Then snuggle up next to a lady with ginger hair. SOREN Stoorwee auntwee Twammy. ORLANDO NO Gobstopllers Mum! SOREN Wot’s Ob Stopplers auntwee Twammy? TAMMY Their what happen’s when you don’t brush your teeth. You did both brush your teeth, yes? SOREN Yes, auntwee Twammy ORLANDO (giggling with frustration) Muuum, NO Muuum...! NO Gobstopplers Muuum...! TAMMY giggles. TAMMY Maybe, maybe not? Anyhoo... The story starts in a Fart. In fact a rather large smelly one. But ironically there was no one there to actually notice. The boys giggle mumbling “Smelly Farts” and such. TAMMY (CONT’D) You might think someone or something MUST have produced the darn smelliness surely? Let alone how the heck would I even know. Now that. That, THAT’s just the start of it. The boys giggle and fidget so excited now, making farting noises. ORLANDO Was it’s cos there was Zombie’s Mum. Under the GROANED. ORLANDO make’s Zombie faces, starts groaning, then turns the Teddy into a Zombie. Suddenly he is taken by the idea of hiding it under the duvet. One of it’s paws starts to slowly appear from a crack like opening. This crack turns into a comic book crack. © Girly Films, all rights reserved, 2013





Transforming the duvet and teddy’s paw, as slightly sinister but ever so cute claws grow. It breaks out of a crack in a teddy graveyard on a stormy night. Now living three dimensional plates within a comic book. The ZOMBIE TEDDY breaks through it’s other paw to pull it’s head through. As it opens it’s zombie mouth dramatically. ZOMBIE TEDDY Groooweeelll, maaa ung-a-weee, Neeeed Maaa-zzz-ieee paaaaan-zzzz bwaaaa-nnnnn-zzzz We spiral into the ZOMBIE TEDDY’s open mouth. 6



We spiral out of ORLANDO’s mouth. ORLANDO Bwaaaa-nnnnn-zzzz Now pretending the teddy is after SOREN and TAMMY. SOREN Grrr, grrr get you zwombie bear, get you. SOREN bashes teddy giggling. TAMMY Ooo you crazy, ikle, gingy Viking you SOREN. SOREN now bashes ORLANDO. ORLANDO SOREN! TAMMY Kind hands, kind hands now SOREN. Oooo I’d Watch it Orlando, believe in it enough and you'll make it real. And you’ve SO been at Jamie’s zombie comics, aye? ORLANDO (smiles cheekily) Nar... Noooo, me, neva. Muummm...! ORLANDO looks around furtively, trying not to giggle or smile as his grin gets wider. He just cannot help himself. © Girly Films, all rights reserved, 2013


TAMMY Yer, right. Ya munchkin. TAMMY smiles cheekily and lets out a little crafty giggle. ORLANDO (cheeky frustration) Muumm, No, Gobstopplers, OK! ...Muumm! TAMMY Depends if ya brushed ya teeth, aye, aye! TAMMY smiles cheekily and giggles. Takes teddy settles it down and them. Tucking them up under the duvet and snuggled up again. TAMMY (CONT’D) Okies, Calm down now. I’ll start again shall I or it’s straight to bed. SOREN We be good auntwee Twammy. Storwee pweeze auntwee Twammy. ORLANDO curls his face up cheekily, to mime a zip across his lips. TAMMY The story starts in a Fart. In fact a rather large smelly one. But ironically there was no one there to actually notice. You might think someone or something MUST have produced the darn smelliness surely. Let alone how the heck would I even know. Now that. That. THAT’s not even the start of it. First. First, comes this. The Story Starts... 7



1979 Music plays out. [Cover of Original by Current Band] We fly over a field, over a stream with a plank bridge, a vegetable patch and an idyllic cottage garden. An Apple tree with tyre swing, tree-house, through it’s branches to reveal the back of a Victorian House. Up to the window above the large patio doors and through a gap in the closed curtains. 8



Following a crack of light as it streams through the gap in the curtains, on to a photograph of a 3 year old boy. © Girly Films, all rights reserved, 2013


To the boy himself, now about 6, smiling, clutching onto the hand of his rather large teddy. TAMMY (V.O.) The story starts in the wondrous smile, of such a cheeky, ginger haired boy... The young boy jumps out of bed to run over to the window. Clutching his Teddy that drags on the floor behind him. While his mum is opening the curtains. Light streams into the room. TAMMY (V.O.) A boy with such an enthusiasm, to greet the warm sun, in the early morn of a summers day, with glee... As the boy jumps up onto a toy chest beneath the sash window, his mum slides it open. At the same time we swing around the window, through the wall to reveal. 9



The boy framed by the window, paw of teddy still in hand. His smile blossoms as he looks out on the day, we pull back to the branch of the Apple tree and an Apple. TAMMY (V.O.) The apples about to pop... TAMMY pops her cheek. The Apple falls. TAMMY (V.O.) ...on the cheeks of such a wide open smile. We the drop down to fly through the patio doors. 10

INT. VICTORIAN HOUSE - EARLY MORNING Through the living room and the living room the Kitchen. Past the AGA. Over the kitchen table cloth, toast stand and condiments. To eating the last of his egg and toast. Teddy through the bars in the chair.

10 wall into table, 70s find the boy hanging

TAMMY (V.O.) Dimples brought to life by the corners of his lips betraying his infectious innocence... The boys mum picks him up. The boy grabs teddy’s paw to pull him up with him. His mum licks her thumb and wipes egg of his face. TAMMY (V.O.) Love, nothing but love in his wide eyes Š Girly Films, all rights reserved, 2013

"GINGER" 10.

Mother and child gaze into each other’s eyes smiling and giggling. It calms as they move closer to gently rub noses in an Eskimo kiss. 11



JAMES sideways slaps fuzzy bears hand. On the last slap, we hear a faint click. Very cute feminine tones ring out, as if from within the air. Rather from the bear its self. YOUNG WOMAN’S VOICE (V.O.) I love you, I love you, I Love you. Bewilderment permeates through his features, as if the voice was watching him. Floating somewhere near the bear. His mouth falls open, as he just stares at the bear, lost. JAMES MUM (V.O.) James it’s Mum, James, James. JAMES Yes Mum? KALA James, from the BBC yes? JAMES jumps out of the dream and out of the chair with a start. Brushing his hand through his Auburn hair. Totally embarrassed, confused and in a fluster. JAMES Mum..? Mum, I mean yes... Sorry, so sorry. From the BBC yes... Yes. The Drama Department. KALA You nodded off there for a moment. KALA hides the small chuckle from under his breath. KALA (CONT’D) I’m Mr Olgby Junior and that’s my father Kairos, Mr Ogalby Senior... I’m Kala. KAIROS is slouched on the seat where the teddy once was. JAMES catches himself as if his legs have turned to jelly. KALA (CONT’D) Father wake up, wake up he’s here. James is here. He puts his hand on his fathers shoulder and shakes him a little gently. JAMES holds up his hand in front of him, it’s shaking. © Girly Films, all rights reserved, 2013

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JAMES (under his breath) Get a grip James, get a Grip KAIROS is starting to stir. JAMES puts his hand out to KALA’s. JAMES (CONT’D) So sorry, it’s my first assignment and I think nerves are getting the best of me. Lovely to meet you Kala. KALA shakes JAMES’s hand warmly, folding his other hand on top. To warmly look him in the eye and smile. Sending a noticeable shiver down JAMES’s spine. JAMES (V.O.) It will be OK. No more panic attacks James, that happened when you were a boy. It will be OK... Ok. KALA Honesty, it’s that very honesty which is the reason we asked for you James. A pleasure to meet you too young man. JAMES looks confused again, as KALA looks the same age as he is. Never the less he smiles at KALA. KAIROS springs in to life. KAIROS Ah James, James. Oh James my boy! KAIROS opens his arms wide, to give JAMES a huge bear hug and kisses him on both cheeks. JAMES does not know what to do with him self. Squeezed into a stick by this huge bear of a man. KAIROS’s beard tickles, bringing on another shiver down his spine. JAMES cannot help but giggle, as KALA looks on with a big grin on his face. JAMES That tickles, Dad. Dad, dad did I say Dad? KAIROS chuckles heartily. KAIROS Not far off my boy, not far off! Oh, but a whole lot more. KALA Let’s take this somewhere else, somewhere more private and cosy. Father, James. KALA wraps his arms around both JAMES and KAIROS and ushers them both over to one of the doors closest to them. Unwraps them once at it. To open his arm indicating for JAMES to open the door. © Girly Films, all rights reserved, 2013

"GINGER" 12.

KALA (CONT’D) James, please. KAIROS Go on boy, that’s a good lad. JAMES moves forward outstretches his arm. As he wraps his hand around the door knob, he notices symbols like that on the clock. These however make up the very form of the Knob itself. He gulps. JAMES (Under his breath) Blimey, here goes. 12



Flashback. Time slows, setting its own agenda. We watch the woman. In beautifully refined vintage shoes, dress and coat. A eulogy to her hour glass figure. Lingering on her ample bosom. Her pausing within her handbag. Just as we bring our eye’s to make out her features. Her Ginger locks effortlessly swirl around and with her dissolve into the crowd. 13



GINGER now eight, swirls around leaning out of the tyre swing. To settle on his cheeky face upside down, framed by the tyre, giggling. TAMMY (V.O.) This boy is Ginger. As in everyone called him Ginger for rather glaringly obvious reasons. 14



Close, a carrot as GINGER takes a bit bite out of it. TAMMY (V.O.) Not because he eats lots of carrots. 15

INT. VICTORIAN HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY Close GINGER’S MUM puts a root ginger on a chopping board and lays a knife next to it. TAMMY (V.O.) Or the knobbly things people chop up. The ones that look like ikle earth babies. Awe cute ikle earth babies. We see a small hand take the root ginger. © Girly Films, all rights reserved, 2013


"GINGER" 13.




Close, the root ginger, as GINGER puts an action man top on it. TAMMY (V.O.) And Ginger himself might have thought they equally looked cute, rather more than them simply looking like babies. Close, a topless action man as GINGER flips the lever, to make its eyes move in the direction of the root ginger. In a Liverpool accent. GINGER See, GUMPH needs it more than you. We fly out of the tree house window through the tree’s branches, day turns to night. The bedroom light illuminates the closed curtains as we go through them. 17



To a messy room, now with a bunk bed, toys everywhere. We float around the room with no sign of GINGER. GINGER’S MUM (O.S.) Ginger, ginger, where are you lad, not heard a peep out of you for age’s. GINGER’S MUM opens the room door to the bedroom. Looks in. GINGER’S MUM (CONT’D) You there GINGER ? Just as she’s about to close the door, she hear’s talking from within the wardrobe. TAMMY (V.0.) And, as he got older things got a whole heap weirder. Close, GINGER’S MUM’s hand pulls open the wardrobe door. To find GINGER completely naked, talking to two root gingers in Action Man tops. GINGER’S MUM (sternly) Ginger, why on earth are you in your birthday suit young man? GINGER Because it gives me magic, silly.

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"GINGER" 14.




REBECCA calls out. REBECCA Your coffee is ere, ello ello. Wakey, wakey tis ya coffee. Mr BBC man, Mr BBC man...? Awe he’s so fit and cute... Even though he’s is posh. JAMES stirs and mumbles still sleepy. JAMES Natalie is that you ? Just put it by the bed poppet. REBECCA Tis Rebecca, Becci, Ogalby & Ogalby Becci... Who’s Natalie ? She tries to figure how to get out from behind the reception counter, as if it exists somewhere else. As if she can walk right through it. Totally confusing herself as a result. The coffee in her hand now causes her more confusion and distress. Like it’s suddenly become radioactive, but is glued to her hand. REBECCA (CONT’D) Urm... Ah... Urm, I don’t get’s it? I don’t get’s it? Urm... Ah... Urm... Calm and serine, JAMES yawns outstretches his arms. He gets up from the seat. Walks over to REBECCA. JAMES She was my girlfriend. I really miss her too. It’s ok I'll get it Becci. REBECCA What happened, Erm... Ah.. Erm... JAMES She left me for her best friend. He takes the cup of coffee. A sigh of relief rings out from REBECCA. REBECCA Fanks so much, phew. The bastard, that must have been harsh? JAMES Her best friend not mine, Kate. Kate. And I did not suspect a thing, I really liked her too? REBECCA Oh my gosh a rug muncher! © Girly Films, all rights reserved, 2013

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REBECCA starts sucking her thumb. JAMES Yes, a lesbian Becci. They went travelling the world. Had tickets for a flight that night. The day I caught them, the day I caught them in our bed... OUR bed ? Are you ok Becci ? REBECCA still talking with her thumb in her mouth. REBECCA Yup, fine. But you’s is a really nice guy. JAMES Nice, nice was apparently the problem. Too honest, not fiery, not passionate enough. Not on the edge, not creative and of course not a GIRL. Kate is in a pretty successful Band. Hence the travel. REBECCA I’ve neva ad a boyfriend. She starts crying. REBECCA (CONT’D) I’m luckily to even ave a job fanks to Mr Ogalby & Mr Ogalby. She totally breaks down. JAMES Oh Becci, Becci. JAMES jumps over the reception counter. Falls to the floor picks him self up, brushes himself down. To wrap his arms around her. Hold her, stroking her bleached blonde hair. JAMES (CONT’D) Becci, oh Becci I did not mean to talk under my breath like that earlier. She snivels still crying, fighting to talk through the tears. REBECCA It’s not that. It’s just... just I’ve always been so dif-fer-rent. JAMES Erm... It’s ok, you’re not so different you’re gorgeous in fact. Sorry to change the subject but when do you think I’ll be seeing Mr Ogalby & Mr Ogalby..? I feel like I’ve been waiting here for an eternity. © Girly Films, all rights reserved, 2013

"GINGER" 16.

REBECCA pulls herself together. JAMES notices a box of tissues on the counter table. Passes them to REBECCA. She takes one carefully as if fearful of it. A single dab, disposes of tissue, repeats. She notices a note in beautiful ink scribed handwriting. REBECCA (Snivelling) Ooo where did that come from..? Oh, it says just go into town and Mr Ogalby junior will touch you. I mean be... Give ya a buzz. They mustav got busy, there always so busy like. JAMES Ok well, this place is just sending me to sleep. It would be soo good to get some of that sea air. 19



The sun shines down as James sits on a bench eating candy-floss. JAMES Blimey, do I need a sugar rush or what. Just as he thinks he’s settled, his phone starts going off. While digging for his phone, a young woman with ginger hair goes past talking to her girlfriends. JAMES (CONT’D) Hi, James McKarthy speaking. Looking up he notices the young woman’s hair being blown by the sea breeze. 20



Flashback. Slow. We see the woman’s Ginger locks effortlessly swirl around. 21

EXT. PIER - DAY The sun shines down as JAMES sit’s on a bench eating candy floss. ADAM (O.S.) James, James, it’s Adam. Adam your boss, is everything going OK. Are you there...? James, James...? His jaw has physically dropped. Eyes like saucers.

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"GINGER" 17.

JAMES Yes, yes, sorry Adam. Everything’s just fine, all under control. All very eccentric as you warned me, not that I actually really expected it. He peels off a piece of candy floss and places it in his mouth. Surprised his mouth is still there, let alone able to form a conversation. JAMES (CONT’D) So just here on the pier taking in some sea air waiting on a call from Olagby & Olagby’s. All very cloak and dagger. Not even met them yet, after the receptionist told me I was actually supposed to be meeting both of them. Just spent an hour or so at their offices to be sent away into town. ADAM (O.S.) Ok, good, well stick with it and keep me updated on developments. I did not expect the rumours to be true myself. Just in case, I’ll get Julie to book you into the Grand and send the details to your phone. We want to make a good impression and if you feel you’re out of your depth at any point I’ll come down and give you a hand. Got to dash I’ve got a meeting with producers on “Silent Witness”. JAMES Not to worry all very laid back here. I’ll let you know as soon as I do. Have a good one. He goes to swipe the phone’s screen to end the call to notice his finger is shaking. His hand now reverberates the phone into his pocket. JAMES (CONT’D) Just calm down, calm down James. Just have more sugar. Just as he peals of another piece of candy floss, hand mildly quivering and is about to place it in his mouth the phone goes off again. He immediately shoves his hand into his pocket complete with candy floss. JAMES (CONT’D) Oh for fuck’s sake! He scrambles to wipe off the candy floss. In so doing opening up the call. JAMES (CONT’D) Oh fucking, fucksticks! © Girly Films, all rights reserved, 2013

"GINGER" 18.

Now clean but sticky he realizes that the call is open, but from an unknown number. JAMES (V.O.) Thank fuck for that, few. He places the phone near his ear, the shaking now under control. JAMES Hi, James McKarthy speaking. Who is this? 22



BOB, bare chested, holding a partially eaten carrot in one hand and a stunning Art Deco phone in the other. BOB (chuckling) Oh James, now that was a jolly good bout of swearing young man. It’s Robert, Robert Prat... The Butterbee Prats, why your here, the Chronicles. Feel free to call me Bob though, everyone else and their vegetable calls me Bob... Awe those adorable vegetables, don’t you just love them James. Stop complaining little Mr Orange. A little highly strung especially carrots... Or should I say Mr Bond, with all this sneaky, sneaky aye James...? Double owe, owe James are you there young man...? 23



A quaint small primary school. A stone Victorian building next to a village church. We fly low through the playground, over the hopscotch markings, then around to the back of the building. 24



Through a small window into the toilets. Through the door of a closed cubicle, to find GINGER there sobbing his eye’s out. GINGER (V.O.) No, NOOO not again, Not again. Why did I have to poo myself again? He looks around the cubicle still sobbing. GINGER Gumph, Ermat, are you there my sweet funny friends? I really need you. (MORE) © Girly Films, all rights reserved, 2013

"GINGER" 19. GINGER (CONT'D) Marcus and Charlotte will be so horrible to me again. They’ll get all the others to join in too. Mrs Sellar’s and my mum, you know what she does. Only you and Nanna understand. I just wish Dad was not so busy with work and sure Stephen just wants to Murder me after he fired that arrow into my eye.

He hears the door to the toilets open, stops talking. Tries to hide his crying. MRS SELLARS Adrian are you in here boy? Adrian, you’re not crying yet again are you? What is it now? You’ve not gone and defecated yourself again have you boy? 25



As JAMES walks through the lanes. He pauses to dig into his phone. JAMES Blimey, where the hell is Hove ? It might as well have a frigging hoof in hell for how this phone’s sat nav has gone completely berserk. Maybe if I look up Fat Boy Slim on Google...? Oh this utter piece of Shit! Just as seagull shit lands on his shoulder. We hear a seagull cry as if goading him, hiding his expletives. JAMES (CONT’D) Oh for fucks, sake! This shitting, pissing town is doing my fuckin nut in! Oh and you can fuck right off, flipping psychotic rat with wings! He suddenly realises he’s in a lane full of people shopping. JAMES (CONT’D) So sorry. Terribly sorry. Wild animals for you. To his shock he see’s the seagull flying right at him. JAMES (CONT’D) BUGGER! The seagull flies in to repeatedly attack and pursue JAMES down the narrow lane. Him fighting it off as he tries to run away from it. Avoiding bystanders. Politely apologizing to them at the same time.

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To establish. JAMES walks past two workmen, trying to tidy himself up after the seagull affray. Their equipment and barriers, around a large manhole cover in front of the pub. We descend beneath the ground. 27



Light streams down into the darkness from the manhole cover. Lighting the ladder up to it and a large puddle of water reflecting light on the walls. A man walks out of the shadows with a robot under one arm. Then talks into a radio. DAVE It’s like the walls have fallen away half way down, but the gas line seems intact. What are the early results from the S.S.R so far Frank? FRANK (O.S.) Looks like the gas line half way down, beyond rubble at the end of that section is definitely damaged. DAVE Cheers Frank. OK I’m coming back up. Send down the line for the S.S.R, Neil. NEIL (O.S.) Coming down mate. A line comes down. DAVE attaches the robot to the line. DAVE S.S.R attached Neil take her up. As the robot ascends, DAVE hears a noise looks around, thinks nothing of it, then looks back up at the ladder. NEIL (O.S.) OK she’s clear. DAVE Cheers on my way up. DAVE climbs the ladder. Once out of view the manhole cover is closed, to leave only a couple of fine streams of light enclosed by shadows. One set of glowing eye’s appear from the darkness. An evil mischievous chuckle rings out. The eyes disappear again as the chuckles echo rings out. Silence, but for water and dripping sounds. Lots of glowing eyes start appearing of different shapes and sizes. © Girly Films, all rights reserved, 2013

"GINGER" 21.

Followed by a plethora of giggling, chuckling, farting and silly noises echoing around the sewer. 28



Eyes fade into the blacked out windows of a shop front. JAMES approaches a big 66 above the door. A security camera on the wall next to it. JAMES Well, deep breath, this looks like the place, phew. He attempts to tidy himself up, then presses the intercom. Steps back a jot, looks up at the camera, holds his hand up and smiles. To looking at his feet in expectation. The intercom crackles into life, a female voice in a fluster. MISS JEZABELLE (O.S.) Mr Johnson I’ve told you already, your spanking is not till twelve thirty! I know you’re keen but mistress will not take on clients that pester. He presses the button on the intercom. JAMES Urm... Urm, it’s not Mr Johnson, sorry I must have the wrong place. MISS JEZABELLE So Sorry the camera’s on the blink. And you are? JAMES James, James McKarthy, I’m looking for 66 Half Acre Mews. MISS JEZABELLE Ah, this is 66 Half Acre Mews in a fashion. Give me a moment and I’ll come to the door. 29



Close, the stunning Art Deco phone starts ringing. The bare chested BOB picks it up. BOB Bob, Bob Pratt here. MISS JEZABELLE (O.S.) Hi Bob, it’s Jenny, I’ve got a man at the door a James, James McKarthy. Are you expecting anyone? © Girly Films, all rights reserved, 2013

"GINGER" 22.

BOB Oh hello lovely lady. Yes, yes Jenny. He’s the young man from the BBC. Do let him in and maybe give him a little treat too, while you’re at it. Sure he’ll love that. He giggles. MISS JEZABELLE Any guest of yours is a guest of mine, sweet man. BOB Enjoy lovely lady. Into the phone. 30



Out of the camera. JAMES awkwardly paces in front of the door, arm’s folded. Self-conscious of passers by. A girl giggles as she walks past. He smiles looking like a consummate pervert, putting his hand to his face. JAMES She must have known, blimey I’m sure everyone must know round here. They must all think I’m a complete pervert. If only Bob’s number was not ex-directory. If only I’d not just frozen up? Calm, Calm James, no more panic attacks. MISS JEZABELLE James, James. JAMES jumps out of his skin, then turns to face the door. A gorgeous woman with black hair, a leather corset barely holding her ample bosom and cuddly figure. Bearing a big metal syringe. JAMES’s eye’s nearly pop out of his head. She giggles. JAMES Urm... Urm.. Sorry, so sorry you startled me. Miss, Miss? That’s, that’s... MISS JEZABELLE Yes that’s a Big Syringe, oh it IS fun. It’s Miss Jezabelle, but just call me Jenny you’re not a client. She giggles. MISS JEZABELLE (CONT’D) Well I just spoke to Bob, so you’re in the right place, do come into my parlour sweet boy. © Girly Films, all rights reserved, 2013

"GINGER" 23.

She guides him over the threshold of the door, wraps her arms around him and kisses him on both cheeks. JAMES tries to keeps his eye on the syringe worried. JAMES Urm... Urm, Lovely to meet you. Jenny. MISS JEZABELLE Lovely to meet you to sweet boy, awe you ARE sweet. She giggles again and closed the door on us. 31



A plushly decorated reception area, mirroring a posh wine bar. The art on the wall the only tell. JAMES sit’s on a leather settee, next to a glass coffee table with magazines and a coffee machine on it. Not thinking he casually picks up a magazine “Skin Two” and opens it. JAMES Oooh... MY ! He turns it around a bit, closes it slowly and slowly places it back on the table. Double tapping it there, more than a bit shocked. MISS JEZABELLE Ah James, well that’s Wormy boy all cleaned out and sent back to his wife. Now, James, what is little James’y boy into then? Are WE a naughty boy? A VERY naughty boy? She seductively sits on the settee next to him, crosses her legs. Takes one finger, strokes it out from under his chin. JAMES pulls back. For her to place it in her mouth, then remove like a popscicle. JAMES cannot help but glance her cleavage, her legs and the very pointy heels on her shoes. JAMES Urm... Urm... I’m so sorry Jenny, but I really am here on work. And I really do have to have this meeting with the Pratt’s and report back to my boss. Not saying you’re not gorgeous. (gulps) As you really ARE utterly gorgeous Jenny. He starts to stands up, now asserting himself. MISS JEZABELLE Awe James’y boy, why you’ll make me blush.

© Girly Films, all rights reserved, 2013

"GINGER" 24.

MISS JEZABELLE kicks out his feet, he falls bang into her cleavage. MISS JEZABELLE (CONT’D) Now, how on earth did that happen? Oh James’y boy, how forward! She giggles and pushes his head further into her bosom, JAMES gasping for breath. 32



Close, a sugar lump plops its way into fine china cup of tea. On a white metal table within an idyllic paved courtyard. We see JAMES appear behind, dishevelled tucking his shirt into his trousers. Tie undone, buttons open, lipstick over his face. Now part of the shirt sticking out of his fly. JAMES (V.O.) Jessica Rabbit. All I could think about was that all too real Jessica Rabbit? He sighs, strokes his hand through his hair and looks up. His jaw drops. BOB Ah, I see, see you got acquainted with Jenny. Awe she IS a lovely girl. PAM A very loving girl too, isn't she Bob. BOB Yes dear, very loving indeed. PAM Now don’t just stand there with your mouth open gawping young man. Come and give aunty Pam and uncle Bob a kiss and cuddle. Then we’ll make some lunch. We've been waiting quite a while, haven't we Bob. BOB Yes, dear. In fact ages. Good show lad! You ARE a dark horse aye! He chuckles. JAMES sees BOB standing slightly beyond a easel naked. Surreal strokes setting the form of a plump Faery on the canvas. PAM sitting next to the table to one side of it, equally naked. A full china tea service, cake and biscuits upon it, as he walks towards them. Trying to ignore the fact, not knowing where to put his eye’s and clearly not succeeding. JAMES Urm... What an idyllic courtyard. © Girly Films, all rights reserved, 2013

"GINGER" 25.




Close, we pull out of a family picture showing PAM & BOB, their two children and three grandchildren all naked. We pull out to, two glasses of port being poured out. To BOB still naked holding onto one glass and passing JAMES the other, against the plush eclectic, bordering on eccentric interior of their home. BOB There you go young man, take a good swig. It’s a mighty fine vintage. JAMES Thank you Mr Pratt, it’s very kind of you. The lunch was the best lunch I’ve ever had, I think. And those fairy cakes too, they just melted in my mouth. BOB You’re more than welcome young man and it’s Bob, just Bob. Oh that Pam’s irresistible urge to tempt the palette, with the most concise olfactory explosion, ever to be slopped within the moist crack of the fluffiest confection. BOB chuckles. BOB (CONT’D) Life’s for living and indulging in all its fruits. Oh, and does that Jenny have some buxom fruits. Substantially edible in fact. JAMES blushes and takes a swig of port. JAMES Urm... I have to admit... Urm yes, yes she does. BOB Great, you’re starting to loosen up young man. Well you can tell me all about it later. All the mouth wateringly filthy detail. But now onto business my good fellow. Come with me to our writing study. BOB puts his arm around JAMES who flinches a little, still uncomfortable with the nudity. A delayed shiver goes down his spine. JAMES (V.O.) Not, again. Ewe, it’s like when they made me cuddle them. More port James, more port that will do it.

© Girly Films, all rights reserved, 2013

"GINGER" 26.

JAMES takes another good swig of port. Now at the door BOB unwraps his arm and put’s his arm out signaling for JAMES to open the door. BOB Please James, do. As he goes to turn the knob he realizes he’s seen it before. 34



Flashback. We see every moment JAMES had seemingly forgotten. From the moment he went to turn the knob at OGALBY & OGALBY speed by in reverse. Ending on the same symbol the knob is constructed of within the Clock. 35



Back out through one of the symbols within the Knob. Back to JAMES’s shaking hand about to wrap it’s self around it. JAMES Bugger, big fat farmers TODGERS! BOB That’s the spirit! Swing both ways aye? We rise to the ceiling. 36



Looking down from the lighting rig above. Pumping Music, interspersed with commentary. Sets the tone, flavoured by GINGER’s imagination. The bell rings out, as GIANT HAYSTACKS crashes into his OPPONENT, we fly down into melee. Close, spiralling around, sweat covered, testosterone fueled faces, of these men embattled. GIANT HAYSTACKS now within a headlock. Time slows, commentary blurs, as the actions preceding a throw start to unfurl. Giant Haystack’s OPPONENT flies through the air in this temporal haze. Rolling up his body outstretched before the crash. Time becomes frozen. We continue to follow his body out through the inside of a television screen.

© Girly Films, all rights reserved, 2013

"GINGER" 27.




Into NANNA JENKINS room. GINGER sitting cross-legged on a rug, the image of the TV screen reflected within his spectacles. NANNA JENKINS in her chair behind. Time & reality resumes. GINGER BOOM. Cricky, Nan, did ya see that like. NANNA JENKINS Oh I, GINGER. Look, now he’s picked him up and put him across his knee, smacking his bum like. He’s clearly been a naughty boy. They both burst into laughter. Close GINGER’s laughter turns into a lost moment. From nowhere he bursts into tears. NANNA JENKINS (CONT’D) Oh switch off da telly and come ‘ere love. Come an give ya Nanna a cuddle and tell her all about it. Still snivelling and sobbing he switches the television off and runs into his grandmothers arms. NANNA JENKINS (CONT’D) Oh GINGER, what’s up, what’s up aye lad? Stroking his hair, she looks down into his face. Him curled up into her, snivelling uncontrollably. GINGER It’s... It’s... Owe Nan. NANNA JENKINS Aye, take ya time love, take ya time. Is it school? He nods his head, still not able to talk for snivelling. NANNA JENKINS (CONT’D) I know ya Ma can be hard on you too. It’s not your fault now Ginger, it’s not your fault love. Ya ma’s going through a fair bit at da mo, I just wish she’d not rub ya face in it, you can’t help it poppet. He breaks down into more crying. 38

INT. OLDIE’S HOUSE - BOYS BEDROOM - NIGHT Tear’s start to dew in TAMMY’s eyes. SOREN has fallen asleep. ORLANDO notices her holding back tears.

© Girly Films, all rights reserved, 2013


"GINGER" 28.

ORLANDO That was a bit sad. You OK Mum? She puts on a big facade of a smile. TAMMY Yes poppet. Oh it will get really exciting and really silly. Just you wait...! Can you give me a hand with Soren? Let me just get on the ladder. ORLANDO starts to try and move SOREN over to his mum. SOREN wakes up slightly sleepy. SOREN Want Mummy, where’s mummy antwee Twammy? TAMMY Mummy’s in hospital with Daddy, waiting for your baby brother to come out of Mummy’s tummy poppet. There, come to Aunty Tammy and she'll snuggle you up in your bunk. Give Orlando kisses and a cuddle. ORLANDO crawls over and gives SOREN a kiss and a cuddle. SOREN Love you, Orlando ORLANDO Love you, night, night Soren. SOREN See you soon. SOREN wraps his arms around TAMMY’s neck. She steps down the ladder, to snuggle him up in bed with his little soft toys. SOREN (CONT’D) Love you, antwee Twammy. See you soon. TAMMY Love you Soren, kisses & cuddles. Pass me Mestopholies Orlando. ORLANDO passes TAMMY the bigger teddy. TAMMY (CONT’D) Kisses and cuddles for Mestopholies. She passes the teddy back up to ORLANDO. She goes back into the bunk, SOREN is already asleep. She brushes his hair back softy, kisses him on the forehead. Climbs the ladder back up to ORLANDO’s bunk. Wraps her arms around him and snuggles in.

© Girly Films, all rights reserved, 2013

"GINGER" 29.

TAMMY (CONT’D) Lot’s of kisses and cuddles, Mestopholies too. ORLANDO I love you Mum. TAMMY I love you too poppet. Just missing Lister so much, our own Gingy. ORLANDO I know mum. TAMMY Sweet dreams. Night Night poppet. She comes out from under the covers, tucks him in, give’s him another cuddle, brushes back his hair and kisses him on the forehead. Pulling out, the light goes off replaced by a stream of light. Back further. 39



Through the crack in the door. TAMMY Night, night. ORLANDO Night Mum. She closes the door gently, leans with her back against it. Slides down and curls up in a little ball on the floor next to it. Dig’s into her phone. Brings up a picture of a cheeky Ginger haired boy. To break down crying. We slowly arc around her, remaining in view until we slide into the wall. 40



We pull out behind a gnarly tree, arc around to reveal, a cuddly curvy FAERY with bright red hair, dancing around in the distance of an overgrown meadow next to the gnarly tree and a stream. BOB (V.O.) A particular faerie dimension, somewhere between the year nought and infinity... We continue an arc past a clump of close meadow grass.

© Girly Films, all rights reserved, 2013

"GINGER" 30.




A clump of grass next to a road where we take flight over a young man in trendy hippy 70’s clothing in a field next to it. BOB (V.O) ...but certainly influenced by one “Nupworth Barnst”’s LSD trip at the 1971 Glastonbury Fayre, well to be honest it was in a field next to the A361 on the way, as he never actually made it. As we arc over him he LSD warps into. 42



A small flying creature, as an idyllic valley flows into the distance behind MIRY, now dancing down the bank of the stream. Other magical bug sized creatures fly about regardless as we continue an arc around her. Apart from two particular bugs who collide with each other distracted by the sexy FAERY, and spiral out of the air as a result. PAM (V.O) It’s a shame he based his whole life around the fact he’d been to that concert. His mum still goes to the W.I and makes some bearable fairy cakes, but always uses that horrible fake cream. BOB (V.O.) Yes dear. SHE was all white and fairy like, and in that not quite cream way. But not to be confused SHE is a barely edible Feary not a barely edible cake. Although the cake might have a completely different view on that altogether. PAM (V.O.) SHE of course is Miry, isn't she Bob. BOB (V.O) Miry, yes dear. MIRY dances into the stream and starts (singing).

Tweetle, Tweetle, Me needs Tweetle,

MIRY (singing) dum. dee. to. pee.

The world spirals around MIRY as she spirals around in the opposite direction. Water flying into the air around her. © Girly Films, all rights reserved, 2013

"GINGER" 31.

Time displaces, MIRY’s red hair, the water that surrounds and is upon her flows disappearing in elements of light that affect, distort then blur into nothing. The vista blurs into the Gnarly tree as we continue to arc around behind it. 43



We follow the wall of the corridor to reveal the open door of the bathroom with MIRY sitting on the Toilet soaking wet, with her panty’s around her ankles solid and real. The odd flicker of existing at a different angle dries her. Moving past the door she sorts herself out, as we continue along the corridor. 44



Continue into room. Close, to reveal an expression of horror on the face of NANNA JENKINS as she realizes she’s about to have a car crash in her mind. We enter her time and follow her slowly down as she collapses to the floor. Part of the way down we see her eyes, she not there. Time stops. The room blurs and flows into a different angle. 45



MIRY enters the room. Time starts to move slowly in time with her sumptuous steps. By the time MIRY reaches NANNA JENKINS, she has impacted with the floor and is lying there fitting in time to MIRY bending down to her, as we spin around behind MIRY. We pull out to NANNA JENKINS’ fitting body blending into the room. A solid NANNA JENKINS falls into existence. Starting at the same position we saw her lose consciousness and falls in real time to catch her self fall next to her own body and look up in astonishment at MIRY. MIRY Smiles. 46



Music plays out "In The Shallows" by Daughter. NANNA JENKINS lying in a bed, an eerie shade of pale, life barely hanging onto her. GINGER sitting on a chair next to her. We look into GINGER’s green eyes and find MIRY’s reflection upon them.

© Girly Films, all rights reserved, 2013

"GINGER" 32.

MIRY (V.O.) (whispers) Love? Nothing but LOVE in his wide eyes. 47



GINGER’s green eyes, the moons reflection upon them. Music continues. Pulling back GINGER sits on the plank bridge naked. Looking at the reflection of the Moon and Stars in the shallow stream. GINGER slips out of view to merely see the reflection. We hear watery sounds as GINGER gets in. GINGER laying down in the shallow stream. The water flows over our eyes. The subtle rippling distortion of the moon and the stars through it. From behind a cloud a green shooting star crashes through the night. As it collides with another cloud, shards of three other stars break off. Close, we see their reflection in GINGERS eyes and the water’s surface as they flow into the credits. DEDICATED TO MY CHILDREN, ROBERT, EDMUND & LOGAN IN LOVING MEMORY OF LILY JENKINS Music blends to play out, “Wraith” by Peace.

© Girly Films, all rights reserved, 2013


A quirky, daft, charming, fantasy comedy, draft pilot for a TV Series. Drawn from my childhood, being Trans, having Aspergers & nearly on my...

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