Page 1

‫ق�ص�ص م�صورة من هنا وهناك‬

picture stories from here and there

1

18+


contents

Editorial : So, What Is A Samandal?............................................. 3 THE FDZ Khkhkh................................................................................................... 7 HATEM IMAM Suspended Time, Number 1: The Family Tree........................14 MAZEN KERBAJ Glitterpill...................................................................................... 36 ELYSE TABET the Educator................................................................................ 38 FOUAD R MEZHER Salon Tarek el Khurafi............................................................... 65 OMAR KHOURI Yoghurt & Jam............................................................................ 93 LENA MERHEJ Happy Birthday to Me........................................................ 104 FARAH NEHME Dans le Taxi............................................................................109 BARRACK RIMA Nicoptine................................................................................ 129 ISABELLE BOINOT The Vacant Lot....................................................................... 147 ANDY WARNER


Khkhkh

Hatem Imam Read in this direction

vroom

Whoosh...

Toot

Wrrr...wrrr...


Fshhhhh…..

foooo…

Whoosh..

Tick...

squeeeaaaak….

Dub…

Tub…

Wrrrr….

Fffffffffffff….


Click..

Tub..

Dub...

voommm…

Ffff…

whooosh….


Khsh….

Ooof…

Ffffff…

squeaaak….

(right to left) squeaaaaak...vrrr...brrr...shffff...tick..wrrr...beep...dub...hmmm….

Ffffffffffff….


(Top to bottom) Beep! Ffffff…..nnnnnn….streeeeechhhh...pull….zzzzzz…..hhh...tick...fluff..dub….wheee...mmmm… sssss...brrbrrbrrr


The end


Suspended Time, Number 1: The Family Tree by Mazen Kerbaj


Read in this direction

People and Places

The Hanin Family Association

People and Places

The Hanin Family Association

Held a meeting on 16/12/2000 at the St. Georges Cathedral in Hadath in order to

Held a meeting on 16/12/2000 at the St. Georges Cathedral in Hadath in order to

elect new board members. After the election, positions were assigned to each

elect new board members. After the election, positions were assigned to each

of the new members

Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj Mr. Mazen Antoine Kerbaj and his wife Mrs. Diana (formerly Ayyoub) were blessed

with a newborn boy - their first - named Evan Antoine (Trad Hospital)

Tasha Roger Ghoreyyeb Roger Ghoreyyeb and his wife Katia (formerly Haddad) are pleased to announce the birth of their first daughter, named Tasha, born 3/2/2001 (St. Georges Hospital, Beirut)

People

The Hanin Family Association

of the new members

Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj Mr. Mazen Antoine Kerbaj and his wife Mrs. Diana (formerly Ayyoub) were blessed

with a newborn boy - their first - named Evan Antoine (Trad Hospital)

Tasha Roger Ghoreyyeb Roger Ghoreyyeb and his wife Katia (formerly Haddad) are pleased to announce the birth of their first daughter, named Tasha, born 3/2/2001 (St. Georges Hospital, Beirut)

People and Places

The Hanin Family Association

Held a meeting on 16/12/2000 at the St. Georges Cathedral in Hadath in order to

Held a meeting on 16/12/2000 at the St. Georges Cathedral in Hadath in order to

elect new board members. After the election, positions were assigned to each

elect new board members. After the election, positions were assigned to each

of the new members

Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj Mr. Mazen Antoine Kerbaj and his wife Mrs. Diana (formerly Ayyoub) were blessed

with a newborn boy - their first - named Evan Antoine (Trad Hospital)

Tasha Roger Ghoreyyeb Roger Ghoreyyeb and his wife Katia (formerly Haddad) are pleased to announce the birth of their first daughter, named Tasha, born 3/2/2001 (St. Georges Hospital, Beirut)

People

The Hanin Family Association Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj Mr. Mazen Antoine Kerbaj and his wife Mrs. Diana (formerly Ayyoub) were blessed

with a newborn boy - their first - named Evan Antoine (Trad Hospital)

Tasha Roger Ghoreyyeb Roger Ghoreyyeb and his wife Katia (formerly Haddad) are pleased to announce the birth of their first daughter, named Tasha, born 3/2/2001 (St. Georges Hospital, Beirut)

People

The Hanin Family Association Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj Mr. Mazen Antoine Kerbaj and his wife Mrs. Diana (formerly Ayyoub) were blessed

with a newborn boy - their first - named Evan Antoine (Trad Hospital)

Tasha Roger Ghoreyyeb Roger Ghoreyyeb and his wife Katia (formerly Haddad) are pleased to announce the birth of their first daughter, named Tasha, born 3/2/2001 (St. Georges Hospital, Beirut)

of the new members

Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj Mr. Mazen Antoine Kerbaj and his wife Mrs. Diana (formerly Ayyoub) were blessed

with a newborn boy - their first - named Evan Antoine (Trad Hospital)

Tasha Roger Ghoreyyeb Roger Ghoreyyeb and his wife Katia (formerly Haddad) are pleased to announce the birth of their first daughter, named Tasha, born 3/2/2001 (St. Georges Hospital, Beirut)

People

The Hanin Family Association Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj Mr. Mazen Antoine Kerbaj and his wife Mrs. Diana (formerly Ayyoub) were blessed

with a newborn boy - their first - named Evan Antoine (Trad Hospital)

Tasha Roger Ghoreyyeb Roger Ghoreyyeb and his wife Katia (formerly Haddad) are pleased to announce the birth of their first daughter, named Tasha, born 3/2/2001 (St. Georges Hospital, Beirut)

People

The Hanin Family Association Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj Mr. Mazen Antoine Kerbaj and his wife Mrs. Diana (formerly Ayyoub) were blessed

with a newborn boy - their first - named Evan Antoine (Trad Hospital)

Tasha Roger Ghoreyyeb Roger Ghoreyyeb and his wife Katia (formerly Haddad) are pleased to announce the birth of their first daughter, named Tasha, born 3/2/2001 (St. Georges Hospital, Beirut)


People Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj Mr. Mazen Antoine Kerbaj and his wife Mrs. Diana (formerly Ayyoub) were blessed with a newborn boy - their first

People Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj Mr. Mazen Antoine Kerbaj and his wife Mrs. Diana (formerly Ayyoub) were blessed

with a newborn boy - their first - named Evan Antoine (Trad Hospital)

Tasha Roger Ghoreyyeb Roger Ghoreyyeb and his wife Katia (formerly Haddad) are pleased to announce the birth of their first daughter, named Tasha, born 3/2/2001 (St. Georges Hospital, Beirut)

People? van Antoine Mazen Kerbaj Mr. Mazen Antoine Kerbaj and his wife Mrs. Diana (formerly Ayyoub) were blessed with a newborn boy - their first

Who CARES ABOUT

People?

People Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj Mr. Mazen Antoine Kerbaj and his wife Mrs. Diana (formerly Ayyoub) were blessed

with a newborn boy - their first

People? Antoine Mazen Kerbaj

Antoine Mazen Kerbaj

Antoine Mazen Kerbaj

WHO CARES ABOUT

People? Antoine Mazen Kerbaj


Antoine Mazen Kerbaj

The first generation Antoine Kerbaj

The first generation

OR

Antoine Mazen Kerbaj

The first generation Antoine Mazen Kerbaj

The first generation Antoine Kerbaj

Antoine Kerbaj

The first generation

the father Antoine Kerbaj

The first generation

OR Antoine Kerbaj


The first generation

the father Antoine Kerbaj

The first generation

the father Antoine Kerbaj

and then

1975

BEGINNING OF THE WAr in lebanon

1975

the WAr

1975

BEGINNING OF THE WAr in lebanon

1975

the WAr

1975

1975

the WAr

1975


the WAr

1975

the WAr

1975

the WAr

1975

The second generation

the WAr

1975

the WAr

1975

the WAr

1975

the WAr

the WAr

1975

1975

And Also A Birth

And Also


The second generation

the WAr?

The second generation

the WAr 1975

The second generation

the WAr?

The second generation

the WAr?

The second generation

WHY WAr?

The second generation

the WAr?

The second generation

the WAr?

The second generation

the WAr?


The second generation

WHY is this joint going out?

The second generation

the joint’s gone out

The second generation

The second generation

why?

The second generation

the joint’s going out

The second generation

the joint’s gone out

The second generation

The second generation


The second generation

People

The second generation

People

Tasha Roger Ghoreyyeb

The second generation Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj

The second generation

People Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj Mr. Mazen Antoine Kerbaj and his wife Mrs. Diana (formerly Ayyoub) were blessed

with a newborn boy - their first - named Evan Antoine (Trad Hospital)

Tasha Roger Ghoreyyeb Roger Ghoreyyeb and his wife Katia (formerly Haddad) are pleased to announce the birth of their first daughter, named Tasha, born 3/2/2001 (St. Georges Hospital, Beirut)

Mazen Kerbaj

The second generation

THE SON Mazen Kerbaj

Mazen Kerbaj

Mazen Kerbaj


THE adventures of Mazen Kerbaj

IN Beirut

Beirut

and mini market abu koko

Beirut

and

AT SUNSET mini market abu koko

Beirut and

AT SUNSET so

Beirut

Beirut

and

AT SUNSET mini market abu koko

Beirut and

AT SUNSET mini market abu koko

Beirut


and

and

AT SUNSET

AT SUNSET

so, then

so, then

in

Beirut and

Beirut and

AT SUNSET

AT SUNSET

so, then in

so, then in

and

and

Beirut

Beirut

and

and

AT SUNSET

AT SUNSET

so, then in

so, then in

and

and

and

and

AT SUNSET

AT SUNSET

so, then in

so, then in

and

and


and

and

AT SUNSET

AT SUNSET

so, then in

so, then in

and

and

and

and

AT SUNSET

AT SUNSET

so, then in

so, then in

and

and

in

and

The Third generation

and

and

then in

and

The Third generation

and in

and


The Third generation

The Third generation

The Third generation

The Third generation

THE SON’s Son

The Third generation

THE SON’s Son Evan Kerbaj

The Third generation

THE SON’s Son Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj Mr. Mazen Antoine Kerbaj and his wife Mrs. Diana (formerly Ayyoub) were blessed

The Third generation

THE SON’s Son Evan Kerbaj

I draw better than you do

with a newborn boy - their first - named Evan Antoine (Trad Hospital)

The Third generation

THE SON’s Son Evan Kerbaj


The Third generation

THE SON’s Son Evan Kerbaj

AND AFTER THAT

The Third generation

THE SON’s Son Evan Kerbaj

The Third generation

Evan Kerbaj

AND then

AND then

the father and the son and the son’s son

AND then the father and the son and the son’s son we come to THE END

AND then the father and the son and the son’s son we come to


AND after

THE END?

AND after

THE END?

after

THE END

AND after

THE END?

AND after

THE END?

AND after

THE END?

after

after

THE END

THE END

we return to


after

after

THE END

THE END

we return to

we return to

the beginning and after THE END?

and after THE END?

and after THE END?

after THE END

and after? THE END

and after? THE END


The Third generation

and THEN

THE SON’s Son Evan Kerbaj

THE adventures of Mazen Kerbaj

IN Beirut

the WAr

and

AT SUNSET so, then in

and

The SECONd generation

THE SON MAZEN Kerbaj

1975

People and Places

The Hanin Family Association Held a meeting on 16/12/2000 at the St. Georges Cathedral in Hadath in order to elect new board members. After the election, positions were assigned to each of the new members

Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj Mr. Mazen Antoine Kerbaj and his wife Mrs. Diana (formerly Ayyoub) were blessed

with a newborn boy - their first - named Evan Antoine (Trad Hospital)

Tasha Roger Ghoreyyeb Roger Ghoreyyeb and his wife Katia (formerly Haddad) are pleased to announce the birth of their first daughter, named Tasha, born 3/2/2001 (St. Georges Hospital, Beirut)

The FIRST generation

THE FATHER ANTOINE Kerbaj


The beginning People and Places Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj

Mr. Mazen Antoine Kerbaj and his wife Mrs. Diana (formerly Ayyoub) were blessed with a newborn boy - their first - named Evan Antoine (Trad Hospital)

Tasha Roger Ghoreyyeb

Roger Ghoreyyeb and his wife Katia (formerly Haddad) are pleased to announce the birth of their first daughter, named Tasha, born 3/2/2001 (St. Georges Hospital, Beirut)

In

The beginning

The beginning Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj

Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj

Tasha Rog Ghoreyyeb

Ghoreyyeb

In

In

And

And

The beginning Before

Each

Of

The father

Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj Ghoreyyeb

The beginning Before Each

Of

Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj Ghoreyyeb

In

In

And

And

The beginning Before

Each

Of

The father And

The son AND THE SON’S SON Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj Ghoreyyeb

The beginning Before Each

Of

The father

And

The son Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj Ghoreyyeb


The beginning Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj

AND THE SILVER SCREEN GODDESS LAURE Ghoreyyeb Of

In

The beginning Before Each Of The father And The son And The son’S SON And

Was

the artist the woman the mother Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj Ghoreyyeb

The beginning

LAURE Ghoreyyeb Of

The beginning

LAURE Ghoreyyeb Of

The beginning

LAURE Ghoreyyeb Of

TOOOT

LAURE Ghoreyyeb Of

TOOOT


TOOOT

TOOOT

TOOOT

TOOOT

TOOOT

TOOOT

TOOOT


And no matter how much we try to push it away‌


THE END


by elyse tabet


Salon Tareq el Khurafi BY OMAR KHOURY


Read in this direction

* Tarek el Khurafi’s Barbershop *

Thanks for the cut, man. See ya.

Take care of yourself, Asad.

sorry

Bye.


Are you Mr.

I am indeed. How may I help you?

* Ish

Tarek elKhurafi?

*

STOP. IDENTIFICATION PLEASE.

*

*

AND THE CONTENTS OF YOUR POCKETS.

WE HAVE RECEIVED WORD THAT YOU ARE IN THE BUSINESS OF MANUFACTURING AND DISTRIBUTING IMAGINARY ARTI– FACTS TO THE PUBLIC FROM THIS LOCATION.

Mental Security Forces: Investigation Bureau

SEARCH THE PREMISES!

SIR, ALL HE HAS IS 7,000 LIRA

AND A PACK OF CEDARS CIGARETTEs

Certainly, we all agree

AS WE ALL AGREE THAT SUCH THINGS DO NOT EXIST AND HAVE NO PLACE IN REALITY…


Examine it Yes sir

Click

As I was saying, as these things do not in fact exist, there can also be no law which exists to prohibit them. And yet if these allegations directed against you turn out to be true, we can conclude two things:

Click

Teet

t

Tee

Tik

Click

Clack!

Clack!


Shick

Firstly, that you are earning your wages through the deception of your customers, by selling items under false pretenses.

Shick!

Shick

Clack

k

ic

Cl

Click

Cl

k

Click

Click

ick

Clic

Pul

k

l

lic

k

ic

Cl

Clic

k

ll

Pu

Ish

t!

Tee

And secondly, that you are aiding in the corruption of the citizenry through the encouragement of escapist, individualistic thought, which distracts the populace from their duties to society.


May I remind you, Mr. Khurafi‌ Very well. Take a sample for closer inspection in the lab, take note of his particulars and let him go.

I can assure you, my boy,

That you may also be burdening your innocent customers with unnecessary trouble.

‌ that this is just a rumor started by the other barbers in the area to steal my customers

We will take our leave then

Nothing here

Nothing in this room

And nothing in the storage area outside

Sir, these seem like regular cigarettes

All shaving equipment


We hope for your sake that you have given us the truth, for we guarantee we will find out if you have been lying.

* * Ish Sh

clac

k!

Hmm?

You’re mine!

Double 3.


DO Excuse me. Can you help me out for a second?

M


* **

*

is Our Face * The Nation * * Public parking


*

Face is a blessing from the gods‌ * The Religious Freedom Party


*

*

malek


*

Malek

z

p zi z

Zz

zz

zz

z z

*

Malek

Stack!

Stack!


Knock knock

DO

M

knock

Just a second!


Lulwa?

i

Zii

Can we talk?

Are you busy?

iii

iiii

iii iiii

clack tshak

What are you doing here?

Hi


Um…

Ok. Sure. Come in.


You can put your stuff down there, behind the desk.


Through the right there, first door on your left.

Clack

Where’s the bathroom?


Flushshsh You wanna drink anything? Apple juice? 7-up? I can make coffee…

click

No, wait. I brought you something that might help a little more.

You remember the first time we got drunk? When Abu Raymond found us between his barrels of Arak, totally wasted… Here’s to Abu Raymond.

He couldn’t believe that you of all people would do such a thing


Tink

Listen, Sura, I‌ But I still consider you my closest friend.

I know we didn’t leave off on the best of terms


I need to find a place to live. I’ve got money, I just don’t know this city too well. I don’t know anyone here but you.

If you can recommend a good, clean hotel that’s not too expensive

Just until I find an apartment or a room somewhere.

So: what happened?

Did you guys have a fight?

Lulwa, you’ve got a suitcase and not much else. I know your parents, they’d never send you off on your own without any help.

It was almost three years ago…

We were on our way to school.

It was raining really hard

What do you mean?

My parents…

Can I at least ask what happened first?


I got wedged between the two seats.

My parents‌

I didn’t really get what happened until after the funeral.

Broke three ribs and a collarbone.


ziiiii


to be continued


Read in this direction

Vienna 1920

Dhour Choueir 1982

Jam and Yogurt

(or how my mom became Lebanese)

One day in July‌

I heard a loud explosion

COME INSIDE!!!

Vienna 1943

BOOM BOOM

Berlin 1956 My mom rushed us down the stairs, counting us along the way: one, two, three, four, five.

Are they going to kill us ????!!!!

...

Beirut 1982

Karlvary 1920


Stop crying, it’s pointless!

We stayed on the stairs for 8 hours

I have to go get milk

Every Friday, I go to my mom’s and sit with her.

I’m going up!

Takes her glasses off

She puts her papers aside

As usual, whether I’ve eaten or not, Noura brings me a plate of rice and curry

Thank you!

What did you eat?

And asks me:

She was very angry


But when I ask her about her past, she...

Then complains

Why the interrogation?

Then smiles and talks

Then complains

Smiles and talks

What did you do today?

My mom settles herself in on the couch

And says

Why the interrogation?

And then smiles and talks... I’m unhappy that you don’t want to call your cousin’s grandfather’s cousin!

If I say “the usual”, all hell breaks loose…

YOU HAVE TO CALL

It would be nice if you called the son of your uncle’s grandfather’s niece!

YOUR GRANDFATHER’S COUSIN’S NEPHEW’S UNCLE!

If I ask her how she is, she tells me a rambling story with no beginning and no end

...

...

...


Vienna 1961

Berlin, 1960

She went to medical school in Vienna and worked as a nurse at the Wilhencinenspital Hospital

It was love at first sight

She was alone her dog

And her walks

She forgot the sweets

And she learnt Arabic for Ali

Say: oh cream! Oh honey! I can’t live without you She rejected quite a few suitors…

How do I say Ish liebe dish in Arabic?

Her teacher was Egyptian…

Then Ali told her he had to marry an Oriental woman

And kept thinking about the man who had filled

her heart with warmth…


Stephansplatz 1958

Mariahilfer Strasse 1962

Our house overlooks the Military Club

Mulla Street 1970

Dinnawi Street 1979

Ma’arad Street 1989

Mar Elias Street 1994

*

Jounieh 1982 * Sinno

*

* Taxi

Ardati Street 1973

In 1982, it overlooked the Israel battleships in Jounieh bay

And to swim on the bathroom floor

Ardati Street 1996 I learnt to cut things

with my sister Yasmine

In this house, I learnt to count

Harf al-Dayr


She showed us where it was - and we saw it for the first time - in 1992, since the road had been blocked before that.

At the time, he was supposed to marry his older and younger brothers’ wives’ sister

She came to Lebanon in 1967, and worked as a pediatrician at the German hospital facing the St. George hotel

I’ve often tried to ask her more about that period

And every time, she replies:

She met her first husband through mutual friends

How could you have forgotten the cardboard box you slept in?

But all I remember is a wooden bed In this way, she entered the Arabist intellectual society

One day, my mom came back from the hospital, and we had to be quiet, because the babies in her tummy were dead.

and a dream I woke up from screaming:

Give me a stream of water!

And chose Beirut as the place to live out her dreams.

Since that day in summer 1982, we haven’t heard of Karim and Karma


She had three beautiful children, and died of cancer in 1981.

Who died from a tooth infection due to a lack of antibiotics, according to my mom

Her wedding dress, which is now in one of a pile of bags in the attic, was purple

She named me after my grandmother, her mom. and works at the public library.

Particularly after my sister Mona’s twin died

She met her friend through her husband. She was a beautiful woman

Her daughter got married at a church near the museum in 1992.

I remember that she always wore purple

And the boys are in France

She always turned her grief into anger that (which) drove her to work

My mom loved her so much that she named her daughter after her.

Come on Mona!

But today she has an eye disease that keeps her from working

We crossed over to the East to visit them many times, when the roads were blocked. I’ll shell some seeds for you!


In 1974, her husband passed away, so she started a daycare center for her three children.

This daycare center was one of the first in Musseitbeh

So, her acquaintances grew‌

I sometimes go with her to the clinic at the American University Hospital Good morning

Good morning

hello doctor! how are you?

hi doctor

Marie Rose Boulos and her son Paul Salwa Merhej and her grand-daughter, Mireille *

The nurses and doctors all say hello, and sometimes the patients do too How are the kids? Have they started school?

How are the kids? Have they started school?

And her second husband, my dad.

* Jumblatt, Karami, Berri, Gemayel

After that, we walk home down Hamra street, and I ask her questions‌


As a teenager, she chopped her hair off

When she was a bit older, she wrapped them around her head

As a girl, she had pigtails

I’ve seriously tried to understand what my father means when he says:

I should always remind myself that I didn’t marry an Oriental woman

And as the kidnapping of foreigners increased, she dyed it brown

In the eighties, she grew it down past her shoulders

It’s 7:30, do you want anything? I’m going

When she came to Lebanon, it was really short

I tried to separate the Oriental and the Western in her by comparing her to “Oriental” mothers And she works a lot

She gets angry in a flash

She invents inedible meals

My mother sometimes uses a strange language when she talks on the phone

Which brought out the color and shine of her eyes

After that, I thought hard about how to get rid of the “foreign” features of my face

highlights

french manicure

Lenses

High-heeled boots

I never understood what he means by Oriental woman

Till now, I haven’t discovered the exact elements of the Lebanese look Social chitchat and gossip? Obedience?

Dancing?

Coffee and cigarettes?

Black eyes? Painted toenails?

...Later, she told me the story of how she had resolved this East-West problem, and that it had endangered her life.

I think she went through something similar, and she tried all the hairdos Lebanese women wore.


My mother stayed in our home on the Corniche

And Reem: Watches Lena and Mona

Mona: Feeds Tommy

Yasmine: Prepares food *

Lena: Throws out the trash

Omar: Hangs laundry out to dry

*cake or donuts every day, crepes or burgers or spaghetti with pine-nuts and yogurt once a week

And learnt how to cook and other traditions from her mother-in-law, who stayed and helped her. And planted geraniums and hortensias on the balcony

She decorated her home with glass fish

*

Meanwhile, my dad would be thinking

My mom would be at the clinic at 7:30 every morning

* Gemayel, Karami, Jumblatt, Berri

*

Now, at 7:30 a.m., she sits in her armchair and calls us, one after the other. * Geagea, Berri, Aoun, Jumblatt

She ran the house like a tight ship whose engine was: us


Hello...Good morning! Did I wake you up?!

First, she calls Tony, my brother-in-law Toot...tooot…

Hello L..Mon...O...Yas...Reem! Yasmine! Yeah, hi mom. How are you? Toot….tooot…

Are you still at home? Why don’t you just shut the school down? What’s the use? It’s alright, I’m up now. How are you? Toot...toot… Hello...Lena...How are you? Are you still asleep? Ooh, sorry sorry...we’ve missed you…

Hi mom, what’s up? I saw you yesterday! Toot...toot…

Yeah..Hi...What are you doing? I’m tired, wiped out and overworked...come over for a visit… Toot...toot… Mom...it’s still early Do I have to remind you every day that there’s an hour time difference? (To be continued)

Hi Mona. How are you...what? Did you go to university today?


by Farah Nehme


I’VE OFTEN HEARD OF THE “FIRST KISS”, WHICH I’VE NEVER HAD

PEOPLE INSIST UPON THE EVENT’S ORIGINALITY…

...AND THAT IT LEAVES A STEAMY MEMORY AND INDELIBLE MARK ON THE LIPS…


The big day

Propelled by my steroid hormones

And guided by common sense

I wanted to make an amorous conquest on the eve of my 20th birthday

Like all those vamps

Towards that end, I had been through my list of old flames

In order to stave off any possible failure


This night has to be lucky

Or I’ll force it to become lucky

We had cigarettes

Cheese sticks

And beer

The fourth bottle successfully put my conscience to sleep


Two days after that famous night

I don’t know if I stole it or if it was a kiss based on mutual accord and shared desire All that remains is the tentative euphoria of an uncertain glory...if not a missed opportunity.


In the Taxi

, by Barrak Rima

I read somewhere that we were the city’s memory...

tweet

This is just a claim, of course...

tweet

Mmm…

where’s the road

to Tripoli

tweet

Good. Let’s be clear:

All we do is wander the streets pushing these carriages of books around...

Mmm…

Hello. I need forks, plates and coffee cups.

One minute. He’s checking his anthropology book.

Easy.

Easy.

Mmm…

Knives and spoons too...

Mmm…


Right. It’s a fact that to be loaded with books is to be loaded with memory...

You’ll find those at a peddler’s in Tripoli...

Mmm…

However.. Hey!

What a relief!

Take a look in the Medicine book.

What year did Sultan Qalaoun order the city to be razed?

A long time ago.

Aaaah! Interesting!

Easy...

As I was saying…

I SELL FORKS!

I SELL PLATES!

I SELL KNIVES AND SPOONS!

I SELL CUUUUPSS OOOOOOOF...

Coffee!


I have a question

There’s a customer waiting for you at the end of Mina street in Tripoli

Ah.. interesting What a relief! Ouf!

Do you know how to cure a poet-cyclist who teaches pre-Islamic Arabic poetry and occasionally drives a cab of indifference? Too easy... INCURABLE!

Shit! The poor man!

Sell!

I sell!

I SELL! I SELL CUUUUPS OF COFFEE!

Shit!

It’s time for a break.

Ouf!

The claim as I was saying is that we are the city’s itinerant memory.

Mmm…

Here for example, this book confirms my theory by which... Excuse...Our break will soon be over.

Ah, yes...


I was saying…

I had a dream..

The city had stopped growing. No. It had grown younger.

My mother had been cured of her incurable illness. She too had grown younger.

And...

What a weird dream!

And my grandfather was fixing a portrait I had made of him.

Mmm…

We learn something new every day, right?

Mmm…

So, as I was saying..

Look here!


I don’t know what to ask today… There’s everything: Anthropology, sociology, art history, politics, mathematics, cinema, comics…

How do we say boiled in French?

Easy, easy!

What are comics?

Truly Mmm… simple!

“cuit” “cuit”

Look it up in the cooking book...

A pleasurable activity that can nevertheless give those who practice it an incurable sense of guilt…

THAT’S IT! I HAVE A QUESTION!

In my dream, I too had gotten younger.

Really?

And I was trying to find the road back to Mina, in Tripoli.

(cui)

What a truly bizarre dream! Look it up in the Study of the Wandering Researcher...

This story has no end.

Cui cui It’s weird, I can’t find a thing about it.. Mmm…


Abu Nouhad..

I’m going to draw your portrait!

This isn’t Abu Nouhad

This is Abou Nouhad

With only three strokes, Abu Nouhad had managed to make his portrait look like him.


Since then, Abu Nouhad went away and his portrait was lost.


Downtown, near the Ottoman clock. Take the sea route, please.

* * TAXI where are we going?


After Beirut, Beirut and the memory of Beirut, I decided to return to Mina, Tripoli.


Character

I was born here, in the backseat of a group taxicab on the sea road.

Driver

I have to make up my mind (fast) (but) all the same, choose my words and my direction carefully...

There was already some tension brewing among the passengers before they got to Mina, where the driver asked:

since the passengers had already fought over the music

What route should I take, the sea road or the land one?

Narrator:

They had hardly left downtown (near the Ottoman clock),

Land!

Sea!

Sea!

Land!

when:

Someone asked:

Drrrrrivvvverrrr don’t you have any musiiiiiiic?

The driver hardly had time to answer before.

Donnnn’t yoooou?

Yes! tunes!

Inta Omri by Um Kulthoum ...

or Chantal Goya..

Are you nuts? I’d prefer some Farid elAtrache

Do

That seems atrocious.

Abdel Wahab No! Asmahan

Charles Aznavour Boney M Bob

Abba

Amr fifi Diab Abdo

Sabah Not him!

Euh

Please don’t play Tchaikovsky

?

Claude Francois

Sisi

Madona Shakira

Najwa Karam Assi Hellani Wadih Safi

Haifa Wahbi Jean Jacques Goldmann

Fairouz

Elvis Tina Turner

Julio Iglesias

Michael Jackson

Abdel Halim Hafez

Souma

Ya leyli ya ein

*

Demis Roussos

Edith Piaff

* singing


* Nawal Al Zoghbi

* dancing Tripoli

Kazem El Saher Fares Karam

Nancy Ajram

Diana Haddad

Elissa Melhem Barrakat

Amal Hijazi

Katia Harb

Nelly Makdissi

Walid Toufic

Ragheb Alama

Alaa Zalzali

Foulla

Issam Rajji

Euh.. Shirine

Georges Wassouf

Wael Kfouri

Samira Toufic

Carole Semaha

Jo Achkar

Maya Nasri Suzanne Tammim

Samira Said ka...

ka...ka.. Diana Karazone

Wael Tassar Rouwaida Atieh

Kazem Al-Saher!

Jimi Hendrix

All these people are in the same taxicab?


This surplus of musical demands among the taxi passengers could have set off a disaster Had the driver not found an intelligent compromise.

LÉ PAROLÉ PAROLÉ PARO

PAROLÉ PAROLÉ PAROLÉ PAROLÉ PAROLÉ ET ENCORE DES PAROLÉ

OUWA OUWAAAAA-AHA

box But a compromise is only a compromise and the tension in the taxi had been well-established . To these PAROLES, the car arrived at the entrance of Mina street

The narrator returns

Sea?

Road? Sea? Road?

Sea?

Sooooooo? Road?

Driiiiiiiiiiiivvvvvverrrrrr?

….

Road?

Or?

Sea?


The driver decided to take the sea route.

Despite his careful choice of words, the driver couldn’t stop a new argument breaking out.

I was born here, in the backseat of a group taxicab on the sea

road!

A few months later, a terrible war broke out in Lebanon.

* * newspaper cut-outs

This one was even more violent.

I was born at that very moment,


Meanwhile, in a taxi…

Ratibée (to Salwa):

Listen my girl, each State has its conditions (She repeats, weighing her words) each State has its conditions

Ratibée (to Salwa): For example. The European Union - Schengen - sates have their conditions: to get political asylum, you have to prove that you’re a victim of political persecution in your country and that your life is in danger because of your political or religious beliefs...or things like this….

Salwa (to Ratibée): Really?


Ratibée (to Salwa):

And Belgium

But of course there are differences among the Schengen states, even

Ratibée (to Nassim):

Ratibée (to Salwa):

Salwa:

Exactly

But these states are

Fffff

trying to unify their laws on refugees

Nassim (to Ratibée): To this end, they organized a major conference in Barcelona

Nassim (to Ratibée): Europe is barricading itself into an inaccessible fortress, rich but surrounded by a poor and under-developed world

Ratibée (to Nassim): Yes...They’re protecting themselves from third-world immigration

Nassim (to Ratibée):

And from the Eastern European countries


I was born in a taxicab.

And where you choose the start, the destination and the route.

Not the kind where you pay for all five seats...

No. I was born in a ‘service’, or group taxi.

And at the very moment of my birth, the passenger sitting in the back center seat

made the following proclamation:

To which the In a taxicab, a passenger person is at the on his right cinema. enthusiastically responded:

And the others chimed in:

We have a frame,

The passenger on the left:

We have what is outside the frame,

The length,

The image and the sound.

I would be more inclined to say that we were at the theater.

Mmm

At the theater?

At the theater?

At the theater?

At the theater?

At the theater?

At the theater?


At the theater!

AT THE THEA TER At the theater! Attention: we’re at the THEATER!

At the theater!

Yeah?

At the theater!

At the theater! At the theater!

Ah Ah Mmh

At the theater!!

At the theater! Ah

At the theater!

Aaah!

At the theater!

And comics? And the cinema? And the taxicab?


And this is the public’s reaction:

What is this story that has no beginning and no end?!

I don’t like Theater!

Ha

This story just drags on…

Ffff...

Ha

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha ha haha ha ha ha

I lost the narrative...

PAROLÉ PAROLÉ PAROLÉ


I’m afraid of boredom

So?

Road? Sea? Haha

Driver?

Z.. Z.

In truth..

This story is neither aesthetic

nor narrative!

What happens next? What happens next?

...


Lets get back to the story...otherwise it’ll go all over the place

We are We are in a comic. not at the theater.

Nor at the cinema.

Not even in a taxicab.

But the setting is a taxicab

Go on, narrator.

Well said!

It’s unbelievable that we haven’t been able to find anything about that dream!

I was saying: at the very moment I was born, the driver made the following proclamation:

I had a weird dream. I had become young again, but could not find the roads of my youth...

It’s tough! Really tough!

I’m lost!

Meanwhile, in a taxi,

Cui Cui Cui

Cui

The next time, I promise I’ll take off my glasses. End

Applause


nicoptine isabelle boinot

starring, among others Pete

Jess

Frank

Anita It’s summer in Capulco

Pete works at a grocer’s. He’s replacing

Marc, his girlfriend Jess’ dad, who’s on

vacation. Jess is on vacation, preparing for

her degree in the 1000 meter crawl. Her friend Anita is starting a police career, alongside her colleague Frank.

Dan would like a share in Pete and Jess’ (who he is madly in love with) intimate life.

Pete and Dan arrive at the pool Do you think

she’d go for it?

Listen Dan, I’ll take care of

everything - you just stand aside


She has to understand that the both of us

will fully satisfy her

And for that, you

If she refuses, I

must seduce her

still have those

pictures of her

Seduce her….

Meanwhile, at the police station

and Anita, naked

Frank, don’t forget that I’m waiting for Patrice Morillon’s bodyguard

I think I may

threaten to post them online


And I am waiting to caress your body uninhibited, Anita

You are a sex

maniac Frank, watch out‌

You wouldn’t want me to file a sexual harassment claim against you, would you? Because I could do it!

Oh, Captain!


Without fail, Jess is exactly where they expected her to be. Pete and Dan are going to be able to put their little plan into action

Excellent!

Yay! Great!


Darling, do you remember Dan?

Hi Jess Oh wow, she’s beautiful, she’s beautiful, she’s beautiful

You know, he’d

really like to

Hello you

Yeah, he broke my rib the last time we met

get to know you

better. We could have some good times, all three of us, if you catch my drift

You know Jess, it may be better for you to agree to this, because you know that I still have those

compromising pictures that you

wouldn’t like me to spread about

Are you blackmailing me?

It’s not blackmail, I just think that you should open yourself up to new experiences, and that you have the potential for this

The potential?


Oh come on, Jess, it was only a joke!

Don’t be ridiculous, your

so?

proposition disgusts me!

To hell with you both!

so?

I thought it went well - I stayed out of it


Hold on, we’ll try again

She finds me silly, right?

Dan, relax

Maybe Anita put ideas into her head Such as the fact that I have a tiny penis

The next day

..given all you’ve told me already

Of course, Anita, what did you think?

so you refused?


It’s absolutely disgusting!

Tell me the truth

Jess: if you didn’t know about Dan’s problem

Over at Jess’ parents’:

It’s noon, Marc

Right? You would have accepted


I work 11 months a year at the

Why...why are you using this tone Wendy? I’ll remind you that I’m on vacation! That doesn’t explain why you had to come home at 4 a.m

You’re changing the

subject rather well, Marc

grocery - I’d also like to remind you that without my salary you

wouldn’t be able to parade about in your mohair sweaters


If you’re trying to poison

Wendy, what are you

me with fuel, it would be

insinuating? And what

absolutely ridiculous

did you put in my coffee?

At the grocer’s, Anita visits Pete Hi Pete

Hi Anita

I was with Jess a moment ago, she

told me everything

You’re saying that, but I know that you were up for a threesome too

You know, it was Dan’s idea


Especially since you used to date guys in college -- Dan told me that

Don’t worry, Jess doesn’t know about it. But tell me, do the

pictures you want to show the world turn you on?

I’d like to remind you that

I’m a cop, and if I were you, I’d find other things to amuse myself with

Anyway, I gave

the photos to Dan


so make sure to get them back as fast as

possible, and apologize to Jess before I tell her about your past

That one’s really bossy

No later than that evening, Pete invites Jess to dinner

Are you mad at me?

Oh Jess

I don’t know


humf

How to put it? I think I really go for you, Jess


The next day

At the station, Frank and Anita are training:


The exercise

does me good!

I think we can safely

say that I beat you hands down, Frank!

You know what else does you good..


I’m not interested Frank. I’ve

already told you, we’re just

colleagues, no more, no less.

And I have

something really special for you

You know that I

totally want you

Meanwhile, at the grocery…


I’m gonna kill you, you bastard

to be continued


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All Submissions must be: - 23.5cm by 16.5cm with 3 mm bleeds. - Black and White - in Arabic, English or French - Submitted digitally in high resolution (300dpi) All submissions will be screened by the editors, and selected artists and writers are encouraged to become regular contributors to the magazine. Please send all submissions and any questions you have to info@samandal.org


Founders/Editors:

Thank you:

the fdz

Zeina Khalil

Hatem Imam

Al Moutaz Al Sawwaf

Omar Khouri

Wael Jamaleddine

Lena Merhej

Pierre Abi Saab

Tarek Nabaa

John Nasr Tarek Naaman

Fundraising:

Sahar Mandour

Zeina Misk

Negar Azimi Nizar Saghiyeh

Translators:

Samah Idriss

Ghenwa Hayeck

Nidal Abou Mrad

except “Tarek el Khurafi” by Lina Mounzer

Nawal Traboulsi Samar Maakaron

Translation Design:

November Paynter

Anna Ogden Smith

Rasha Moumneh Lina Mounzer

Cover illustration:

Taha Taha

Fouad R. Mezher

Houssam Imam Stewie Griffin

Published by:

Abdel Rahman Batakji Ahmad Talal Salman Nidal Achkar Nadim Tarazi

This issue was made possible by the generous

SOME RIGHTS RESERVED

contributions of: Al Moutaz Al Sawwaf DOTS printing press

Printed in Beirut by Dots Printing Press info@samandal.org www.samandal.org 2008

This work is licensed under Creative Commons unless otherwise indicated. You are free: - to Share: to copy, distribute and transmit the work - to Remix: to adapt the work Under the following conditions: - Attribution. You must attribute the work in the manner specified by the author or licensor (but not in any way that suggests that they endorse you or your use of the work). - Noncommercial. You may not use this work for commercial purposes. - Share Alike. If you alter, transform, or build upon this work, you may distribute the resulting work only under the same or similar license to this one. Any of the above conditions can be waived if you get permission from the copyright holder. Nothing in this license impairs or restricts the author’s moral rights.


Pubished by XANADU* Printed in BEIRUT w w w. sa m a n d a l . o rg

Samandal #1  
Samandal #1  

released in March, 2008

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