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Issue 12 - FREE

Monday 14th December 2009



Student Direct:

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Gemma’s tips for a Christmas in Manchester

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Has Beyonce made it on to the ‘nice’ list this year? The re(View)

Will cooks up a Christmas treat

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Pages 18-19

CALENDAR GIRLS (AND BOYS) The Almost Famous girls

© Drew Forsyth

The Ultimate Frisbee boys © Drew Forsyth Steph Bartup Editor SALFORD’S ACTIVITY group members have stripped off for the fourth year running to make a naked calendar, with all profits going to five different charities. The calendar, organised by the Salford RAG (raising and giving)

society, raises money for charitable organisations each year from the profits of the calendar sales. This year, donations will be made to Help for Heroes, which helps to support members of the Armed Forces who have been badly injured in battle, the Windsor Centre, which is a drop in centre for homeless people in Salford,

USSU Elections Draw Closer THE STUDENTS’ Union elections will be taking place at the end of February, and it’s time to start thinking about whether you’d like to run for a position. You could run for President, a faculty based Vice President, Student Trustee or NUS delegate. It could be the year at Salford that you’ll never forget. Read the full story on page 2

and Secours Populaire Français, a charity which operates in France to help disadvantaged families. The other two beneficiaries are a voluntary organisation in Paris which is yet to be decided on, and a community group in Cape Town, South Africa. Both male and female students posed for the naked calendar; in

all, 15 activity groups took part, including members of rugby league, rugby union, snowsports, netball and Shock Radio. Tom Doyle, who posed with the snowsports team said: “My grandparents may be a little shocked at how calendars have moved on since their school days! But we were all happy to do it for the good causes; I was forced to

throw my hat away after the shoot though – someone had to use it to cover themselves up!” Tony Broadhurst, Chair of the RAG society said: “The society members came up with the charities; we decided on Help for Heroes as we had done some local work with the charity before, and wanted to give something back.”

Run, Santa, Run! MORE THAN thirty Salford students got into the festive spirit last week when they took part in a charity run dressed as Santas. The volunteers raised over £300 for local charity Salford Heart Care. Read the full story on page 3


The calendars are priced at £5 each, and can be purchased from Bar Yours in University House, and the Students’ Union shops in Horlock Court, Allerton and the Adelphi building. The official launch of the calendar will take place in Bar Yours on Wednesday 16 December at 8pm.


December 14th 2009 / Student Direct

Student Direct:



Editor’s Note



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Hi Everyone! WELCOME TO the last Edition this year of Student Direct: Salford Edition. This week, we have a special centre spread which celebrates the ups and downs of 2009. Will shows you how to cook up an amazing Christmas dinner to impress your loved ones back home, and Rupert turns into Santa’s little helper . . . turn to page 34 to find out more! Have a great Christmas; see you in the New Year! – Steph

News News

Page 03 Features Meg Under the Mistletoe Christmas Time in Manchester

Page 04 Features View Point The Gossip Globetrotter

Page 05 Your Space 5 Things I Couldn’tLive Without Your Shout! Society of the Week

Page 06 Lifestyle Can’t Cook, Will Cooks... Christmas Dinner

Do You Want to Run Your Union? AFTER THE Christmas break, you will have just a few short weeks to decide whether you would like to stand in the 2010 USSU elections. Doing so could make your next year at Salford a totally unforgettable one. You can put yourself forward as a candidate any time from Monday 1 February until Friday 12 February. As you will probably know by now the roles up for election are: President, Vice-President (for one of the four faculties - Health and Social Care, Science, Engineering and Environment, Arts, Media and Social Science and Business, Law and the Built Environment), Student Trustee and NUS delegate. Full details of the positions available will be added to the Students’ Union website shortly: Getting elected could open up a whole host of exciting opportunities for you. You could have the chance to: • get involved in a range of important projects and make decisions to enhance students’ lives at Salford • gain the skills and experience that will help you stand out from the crowd and look great on your CV • develop advanced skills in leadership, communication, teamwork, planning, problem solving, presentation and motivating others

For those elected to Trustee Board and as Sabbatical Officers, this will be a once in a life time opportunity to run and direct an organisation with almost 20,000 members. You’ll have a say on what the Union does and how its resources are managed – this includes everything from advice and support, to shops, bars, student activity groups and representation. The Sabbatical Officer roles are paid positions with an annual allowance paid monthly. The elections will run from Friday 26 February until Thursday 4 March. Students will be able to vote online once more, so you don’t even need to move from your room to pick your potential leaders! Any student can stand for a position in the Students’ Union elections; it doesn’t matter if you don’t know much about Students’ Unions or think that you haven’t been involved enough in the Students’ Union at Salford before. So why not give running for election some thought over the winter break? Keep an eye on the Students’ Union website for more information: or contact Matt Webber at: or 0161 351 4213. Last year’s elected officers

Page 07 (re)View The (re)View of 2009

Pages 18-19 Union Page

Page 33 Advice Hayley’s Here To Help! Amanda’s International View So You Want To Be... Santa’s Little Helper?

Salford Introduces First Cancer Care Degree Emily Barker THE UNIVERSITY of Salford will be introducing a unique postgraduate course exploring the psychological effects of cancer. The MSc Psycho-Oncology course, which is the first of its kind in the UK, starts in February next year and will help to provide adequate psychological care to sufferers and their families.

Page 34 Sport The Week in Quotes Interview: Graham Bell

Page 35 Sport Lions Roar Through to BUCS Quarters

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It was developed in conjunction with Manchester’s Christies Hospital as well as local cancer experts. Dr Penny Harwood of Christies Hospital said: “There is still a need to improve psychological care for cancer patients, and this course will provide a core curriculum for staff working in oncology.” The course has been designed for doctors, nurses and professionals working in specialist cancer or palliative care centres. The course will last for three years and will be a research-based programme.

Guest Editorial Spot… …do what you like with it! Jonathan Brown Hello readers THIS WEEK, I’m kicking off the guest editorial spot by asking this question: Is Michael Owen back for good? Michael Owen is arguably the nation’s favourite striker, ever since he scored his legendary goal against Argentina in 1998, but after some injury hit years at Newcastle and a somewhat mixed spell at Manchester United thus far, his doubters have come out in force. But after Owen hit a stunning hat trick in Wolfsburg on Tuesday, you can’t help but think he could regain the status of England’s golden boy. As one of the Premier League’s all time top scorers and having played for three of the most well supported clubs in England- not to mention that not too shabby side from Madrid- he’s got undoubted pedigree. But playing bit part roles for Sir Alex Ferguson and not being as free scoring as Rooney, for instance, has led many United fans to feel they need another forward at the club.

But as Owen has said himself, he feels he hasn’t been playing badly but the papers always judge him on whether he scores goals. When he plays badly and bags a goal he gets a good rating, yet when he plays well and fails to hit the back of the net, he’s given 3 out of 10; he for one feels he cant win. In a way, I’m with him on that, until he starts scoring the goals regularly that made him hit the heights of France in 1998, he’s always going to be regarded as a ‘has been’, no matter how well he plays- but I hope he turns it around. Owen’s a player well capable of scoring goals at the highest level, so let’s hope his hat trick against the German’s is the start of something big. That’s it for my guest editorial spot- check out my View Point feature on page four for more! Fancy a guest editorial of your own next year? Email the editor on to sort out your spot!

A Success-ball Evening! Alex Wise USSU HOSTED the Christmas ball last Wednesday at the Thistle Hotel in Manchester. Around 170 students attended the event, and they enjoyed a three course meal, wine and a DJ until 1am. Everyone was suited and booted for the occasion, and there was a definite Christmassy feel to the

party. VP Jim Dale, who attended the ball, said: “It was a really great night and had a great festive atmosphere. I thought that the food was really nice and the entertainment had people up dancing almost straight away. It was great to see so many people come along and have a good time, and lots people made a great effort to dress up. I think that huge thanks should go out to everyone who was involved in organising the event.”

Students Say ‘No’ to Smoking Ban in Halls Steph Bartup Editor At USSU’s You Decide meeting on Tuesday, the majority of students agreed that individuals should be allowed to smoke in their private residences, and said that a suggested ban across all accommodation sectors would not be a good idea. At present, students have the option of being in either a smoking or non-smoking residence.The changes of the Union’s constitution were debated for the second time, after they were first discussed at this years’ earlier annual general

meeting. Present at the meeting was NUS Vice President Aaron Porter, who discussed the role that NUS plays in students’ lives. He emphasised the importance NUS places on the issue of tuition fees and the ways in which students get financial support. He also told the audience that: “NUS is the most democratic organisation that exists in the world, as it is the only one that allows every single individual student to have the power to shape the priorities of NUS.” He said that it was the organisation’s job this year to make this clear to the seven million students that NUS represents.

Contacts @ Student Direct: Salford Edition POSTAL ADDRESS: Student Direct University of Salford Student’s Union University House Peel Park Campus Salford, M5 4WT

ADVERTISING POSTAL ADDRESS: Student Direct University House The Crescent Salford, M5 4WT Editor: Stephanie Bartup Phone: 0161 351 5432 Email: Advertising: Rachael Browne Phone 0161 351 5402 Email:

Student Direct Contact List 2009-10 News Editor: Luke Dunsmore News: Emily Barker Megan Barwick Laila Issa Caroline Steer Alex Wise

Columnists: Alice Blue Amanda Harrett Lucy Jones Hayley Weatherilt Matt Webber Arts Editors: Mazher Abidi Tom Miller

Features Editor: Gemma Blackman

Arts: Andrew Busby Gemma Blackman

Features: Megan Barwick Jonathan Brown Will Chiswick Shakira Flores-Heatley Alex Hughes Laura Johnson Kathryn Thomas Rupert White

Sports Editor: Jonathan Macpherson Sports: Tom Doyle Matt Howard Nick Metcalfe Photography: Drew Forsyth

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Student Direct / December 14th 2009

It’s a Strange World...

Caroline Steer HOW EXCITED I was this week when I ventured into my local Sainsburys, and discovered they were already slashing their prices on mince pies! If anything told me it was now officially Christmas, that was most certainly it. Of course, the fact that today is 14 December is a massive give away as well! So in order to join in with the festivities of Manchester, me and some friends decided to go ice skating a couple of nights ago. Before I continue, let me just point out that I can't ice skate- at all. In fact, I'm pretty sure that during the one hour session I almost fell over a total of ten times, much to the amusement of everyone else. But thankfully I didn't have any major problems; unlike two people from Russia, who in October had a bit of a run in with an ice skating bear. No, I haven't gone completely insane, this is a true story! Two people were mauled by a bear, one fatally, during a rehearsal for a circus in Kyrgyzstan, Russia. It is not known what caused the bear to attack and kill 25 year old Dmitry Potapov, the circus administrator, and badly injure an animal trainer who was attempting to rescue him. Reports indicate that the five year old animal dragged Potapov by his neck across the ice. The circus was cordoned off by police and emergency service workers for an investigation after the incident. Ministry of Culture and Information director Kurmangazy Isanayev told the press: “The incident occurred during a rehearsal by the Russian state circus company troupe which was performing in Bishkek with the programme ‘Bears on Ice’.” According to one article, it is traditional in Russia to train bears to perform in circuses, but fatal attacks are very rare. Thankfully though, I don't think I'll be coming across any ice skating bears in Manchester.

The bear during rehearsals

Santa’s On the Run Laila Issa THIRTY FIVE determined Salford students ran three miles dressed up in Santa costumes to raise money for Salford Heart Care last weekend. The run was similar to the ‘Quays Santa Dash’, which was £10 to enter; however this one, organised by Joe Chambers, resident assistant at Bramall court accommodation, was free to enter. Joe said he organised this event- which took place on the same day as the ‘Quays Santa Dash’- for the benefit of students who couldn’t afford the pricey entrance fee, but still wanted to get involved and do their bit for charity. The eager students ran from Bramall court on Cannon Street to neighbouring accommodation site John Lester and Eddie Coleman on Belvedere Road, and back again. Joe said: “I just wanted to do something a bit ‘off the wall’ in order to raise a few quid for a local charity.”

The charitable santas have raised over £300 for Salford heart Care, with donations still being made as Student Direct: Salford Edition went to press. Jean Barr from Salford Heart Care said: “This is a fantastic amount of money to us – it will help fund the services we provide across the City of Salford. As an independent charity we rely on donations such as this and we are very grateful to all those involved.”

HEAR THAT sound? No, it isn’t Santa’s sleigh, but it might as well be for you gentlemen. Those of you who have strayed close to the Allerton building in recent weeks may have heard the scintillating sound of jingling trinkets and exotic music; welcome to the shimmering world of belly dancing. Initially shimmying its way into Salford as a ‘give-it-a-go’ activity; a pleasing distraction from the rainy weather and long lectures, Tracey Gibb’s belly dancing

classes are now set to stay for good, as USSU hopes to introduce the new ‘Salford belly dancers society’. With more members to join, the classes hope to become a full blown society within the Union, which means funding for performances and flashy costumes for all those involved. The give-it-a-go sessions are not due to start again until February, but anyone can join until then – unless you’re a gent. Sorry boys, this one’s for the ladies only. For now, tickets will still cost £3 per session, but depending on the number of members to sign up, fees could be reduced in the near future. So if you have a taste for the exotic…sign up and shake it.

Alex Wise FOLLOWING THE success of USSU’s ‘24 hour library’ campaign last year, the Clifford Whitworth library will once again be open for 24 hours a day over exam periods. The first of these round-the-clock openings will be during semester two’s assessment period; Clifford Whitworth will open24/7 for three weeks from 4 January to 22 January. The second 24 hour opening period will be Monday 19 April to Friday 28 May (six weeks).

Last year’s pilot scheme for 24 hour opening hours at the library was hugely successful; from 20 April to 29 May, nearly 12,000 people entered the library during the extended hours. In addition, users of the service will also be allowed to park on the inner campus after 5pm during these dates, so you won’t have to walk back to the Northern car park in the dark. One student commented: “This should have been done sooner and is much better and safer than the PC room in Maxwell. Plus, late at night the staff are very nice and relaxed, which makes for a good working environment”.

The Santas at Maxwell House

Belly Up? You Bet! Megan Barwick

24 Hour Library is back!

To find out more, search for ‘Salford belly dancers society’ on facebook.

Tracey Gibbs

University Introduces Social Group for Autism Sufferers Alex Wise THE UNIVERSITY has set up a society for students with autism and Asperger syndrome. Salford’s disability service has teamed up with the National Autistic Society to start a new group for students suffering from either condition. Membership is free, and the group will meet on a monthly basis; organisers hope to host events such as going to the theatre, group discussions and meals out. The next meeting

will be held on 16 December in the Colne room in University House (ground floor) between 12 - 1.30pm. For more information please contact Clare Naylor from the National Autistic Society on manchesterresourcecentre@

Debate: Should the Government Try and Make People Happy? YES Kathyrn Thomas THIS WEEK the Debating Society welcomed Professor Avner Offer from Oxford University to discuss the idea that governments should make us happy. The professor started the debate by using the example of the people in the Kingdom of Bhutan, who, through an initiative called Gross National Happiness, have made national happiness a key goal, in accordance with their spiritual Buddhist beliefs. The professor went on to talk about the subject of money equating to happiness. He used countries such as the United States, Japan, France and the United Kingdom as prime examples, who have become richer over the past 50 years, but the levels of happiness in these countries has invariably stayed the same. He even mentioned that the Japanese were less happy now than 50 years ago. Following on from this, when people in poor countries see a small boost in their income, they also see a boost in their happiness, whereas if someone in a richer country saw a small boost to their income, they would not see this boost in happiness. In surveys conducted around the world, it was shown that different sections of society were happier. For example,

women as a whole were happier than men, as were those who had graduated from university. Perhaps unsurprisingly, those who are divorced, separated or unemployed are not as happy. The professor talked about how social exclusion could be a major contributor to happiness or indeed unhappiness. It appears that people who live in cities (where there is a greater chance of anonymity) are less happy than people who live in small villages and towns where everyone knows each other. The professor stated that perhaps to remedy the issues the government should intervene. He said that by focusing on the unhappiness and fixing that problem, it will be more effective at making people happy. When the debate was opened to the floor, some argued that governments already serve to make us happy, because if they did not, the citizens of a country would revolt. The professor’s response to this argument was, once stated, obvious. A government does not necessarily need to make the people happy; the government should only worry about a revolution if the citizens decide the government is working against them. The professor ended his position saying that like the policy makers in the Kingdom of Bhutan, the well-being of the populace should become a primary objective of policy makers.

NO Laura Johnson FEW PEOPLE, after Professor Avner Offer had finished defending his perspective on why governments should make people happy, would have liked to stand up and put across the opposing argument. Offer has researched extensively on the subject; the proof was in his very detailed presentation, which included many graphs and statistics. Offer has also written about the subject. His style was that of a lecture rather than a debate; he obviously knew a great deal about the arguments for and against this theory – presenting them at the end of this presentation – and if all this was not daunting enough, there was always the knowledge that Offer is a University of Oxford professor to top it all off. In the face of this, Samuel Gresham decided to give it a go. The thrust of Sam’s argument was that it is not the role of governments to make people happy. Governments are often blamed for a variety of mishaps, but if you are not happy this should not be one of them. Thomas Jefferson once said that the three human rights are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. The former two, it could be argued, are the responsibility of the government to safeguard. But the pursuit of happiness is something that has

to be undertaken by the individual. Not only is it not the role of the government to provide for every single citizen’s happiness, it’s just not practical to do so. How are governments supposed to provide happiness? Offer himself said that economic solutions did not work; he proved it, in fact, with his array of graphs and statistics. Money does not make people happy. But what else can governments provide to make people happy if not money? Neither speaker specified what exactly happiness was, nor whether or not it was actually important, despite being asked both questions. Happiness itself is an elusive concept, one that the government should not labour over providing for its citizens when it has other, more pressing roles, not least the protection of the population. If we turn to the example of Britain, there are dozens of more pressing issues that could be cited as evidence that the government simply does not have time to cater to the happiness of its citizens; the recession, for instance, which continues to bite, and the war in Afghanistan. I remain incredibly sceptical about human nature and people’s ability to know what is best for them or what makes them happy. It’s not the role of the government to try and divine this; it is the role of the government to provide the conditions in which people can pursue their own happiness, but nothing else.

04 Features

December 14th 2009 / Student Direct

Meg Under the Mistletoe

Christmas Caperer Meg Barwick reindeer-rides her way across Christmas to find new ways for YOU to feel all nice inside! Help your fellow man, and save yourself from sacks of coal at the same time.

Lifeshare Homeless Shelter Christmas Project

CHRISTMAS BRINGS joy to the world. It’s a time for paper crowns that tear because your head’s too big. A time for glorious, glorious sprouts. And of course, the amateur production children’s school nativity. Ah, alright, it’s mainly the presents. But to others, it is a time for loneliness, depression and hardship, and no, I’m not talking about your lecturers. More people commit suicide at this time of the year than any other month. Manchester has the highest suicide rate for young men in the entire country, and most victims are

homeless. The chance of homeless people committing suicide is 35 times greater at Christmas than any other time of the year. The average age that a homeless person usually lives to anyway is just 40, but here’s another worrying statistic; this year 120,000 children will be among the homeless. Doesn’t take a genius to guess what I’m getting at. Can you accept it? If you know you can’t, come down to Lifeshare in Manchester, and do your bit this season. Lifeshare operates all over the country, including Manchester, and the project runs shelters and schemes to help those who find themselves living rough because of relationship problems, abuse, unemployment, mental health issues and drink/drug dependency. They believe that anyone is worth equal opportunity, whatever their race, sexuality, gender, severity of HIV or whether you’re Jedward. They offer support, emergency accommodation and help finding work, and also provide medical expertise to those who can’t afford hospital expenses. Every Christmas, they recognise how the homeless desperately need comfort and support more than ever, and would even accept a sack full of sprouts if it kept them from starving; Lifeshare offer a refuge from isolation that those on the streets feel year in, year out. They offer shelter and food, as well as activities, a medical centre with doctors and dentists, and the most crucial of all luxuries…television. They throw a Christmas party with crackers, decorations and presents from Santa’s very own sack. But Lifeshare relies on good natured people volunteering a few hours of their precious time to lend a helping hand. If you have one to give (metaphorically) then you can complete an application form by visiting or phone 0161 235 0744 to learn more. There is a stigma surrounding the idea

of homelessness, like a badly wrapped pair of socks. Skin-flinted Scrooges are only too happy to brush aside the issue as an excuse for druggies, drunks and losers. Anyone can end up homeless; when Tom was beaten to a pulp by his father for the third time in a week, he ran away and ended up sleeping rough. When Richard left the army, he couldn’t cope with life outside the forces, and now sleeps behind a car park in London after risking his life to serve his country. If the thought of feeding your fellow man isn’t enough to make you prance like a tripped out sugarplum fairy, then consider this. The furriest of all man’s best friends can suffer just as much as their homeless owners can, especially at this time of the year. Hundreds of dogs with homeless owners die every year from starvation, untreated illness, accidents, cruelty and exposure to the elements. At Christmas, this and the death rate for our furry homeless friends increases significantly. Most homeless shelters across the country don’t allow pets, which also means that devoted dog-owners usually choose to sleep rough rather than seek sanctuary, because they don’t want to abandon their animals. For homeless people with dogs, their pet is the only

person they have to love them. Luckily the Salvation Army, one of the biggest carers for the homeless, has recently teamed up with the Dogs Trust to allow pets into their shelters. Due to funding only two owners at a time can bring their pets with them, but it’s still a small victory. The Dogs Trust is starting the Hope Project at Christmas, which will provide hampers of treats for homeless doggies, such as biscuits, leads, collars and coats to keep them warm in the cold. If you want to learn more about the Hope Project for our hairy mates, then go to or call 020 7837 0006. There are many more ways to help the homeless all year round and not specifically at Christmas, but at this special time of year when people gather together, you can help just by making someone on the streets feel less alone. Don’t make someone who’s lonely feel more invisible than ever; ask them how they’re doing, let them know what the weather is going to be like, check they’re holding up okay. The homeless hold onto their dogs when they have lost all else because of one major human need – companionship. After all, Russell Howard has great chats with homeless people. You could help get someone off the streets this Christmas

Christmas Time in Manchester

Gemma Blackman Features Editor ARE YOU staying in Salford over Christmas? Worried that you’ll have nothing to do? Well, don’t panic; here’s your guide to all things festive, which will be happening around Manchester over the holiday season… The biggest attraction in Manchester this festive season has got to be the Christmas markets, which spread across

Enjoy the festive markets!

the entire city centre, and are there until 22 December. There are seven different sites of the market, each with a different theme. There’s Albert Square, outside the Town Hall, for food and drink stalls; Brazennose Street has the ‘world market’, where you can purchase anything from Persian rugs to Indian bangles; in St. Ann’s Square is the traditional German Christmas market, where you can enjoy Bratwursts to your heart’s content, and wash them down with some original German beer. Exchange Street is where you will find the craft traders who are there every year, and are very popular with Christmas gift ideas; New Cathedral Street has the rarer gift ideas where you might just find a once in a lifetime gift, and Exchange Square, next to the Triangle, is where you will find the ‘olde English’ style food and

drink, so you can enjoy a real hog roast and some mulled wine. Last but not least, there is the newest market location at the Triangle shopping centre (next to the printworks) which has the more festive arts and crafts stalls. If you haven’t already, you should get yourself down there even if you have no money, as it really is an experience worth having. If shopping isn’t really your thing, then how about going for a skate? There is an ice rink located at Spinningfields, which is open 12pm-9pm every night until 3 January and is a great place for a romantic date or just a new place to chill out with your mates. Don’t worry if you’ve never been, you can always cling on to the sides for dear life instead! For more information, go to the website: http://www.spinningfieldsiceri On the opposite end of Market Street you have Piccadilly Gardens, which has had a transformation just in time for Christmas; it is now better known as ‘Piccadilly Snow Gardens’. There is plenty to do there and the events are again available to you until 3 January. The main attractions here are the ‘giant snow globe’ where, for the big kids amongst us, you can visit Santa in his magical ice palace, then ‘frolic’ inside the snow globe! There is also a snow slide at the Gardens, open 11am-9pm every day until 3 January, and it only costs £2 for a slide. There aren’t many

places in England you can claim to have gone snow sliding, so grab the opportunity while it’s there! Many people – myself included – will never be too old for a good pantomime at Christmas time, and this year the Manchester Opera House will host Aladdin, loaded full of celebrities, from 5 December to 3 January 2010. Popular northerners Chris Fountain (star of Hollyoaks and Dancing on Ice) and Gray O’Brien, who played the evil Tony Gordon in Coronation Street will be appearing this year. This is sure to be a popular pantomime so book online with Ticketmaster or go to the Manchester Opera house website. For those of you with children, why not take the kids to visit Santa at the Triangle? It’s completely free and not just a treat for the kids, because whilst they are having their free photo with Santa, mums could be having a free hand massage or spray tan, dads could be enjoying the free mince pies and mulled wine, and the whole family can enjoy the live music. This is all available free of charge every Saturday until 19 December so get down there quickly! For those wanting to capture the true meaning of Christmas – Jesus Christ’s birthday – Manchester Cathedral has a host of events happening throughout December, including a family carol concert

on Saturday 19 December, Christmas communion at 11.30pm on Christmas Eve, and many other events. For more information go to And finally, for those of you that have blown the loan already and are looking for something which doesn’t require loosening those purse strings, Manchester Central Library is having a ‘mince pie drop-in’ on 22 December. The tea, coffee and, of course, mince pies are all completely free; just turn up between 10am and 12pm to enjoy your free festive food! So whatever it is you decide to do, have a good Christmas and make the most of the time away from the stresses of essays, exams and looming deadlines! Merry Christmas!

Celebrate the true meaning of Christmas at the Cathedral

Features 5

Student Direct / December 14th 2009


The Gossip

“Is Britain Following the USA and Becoming a Morbidly Obese Population?”

Lucy Jones

Jonathan Brown

EVER SINCE the McDonalds Corporation made it big in the USA, Americans have always been portrayed as being at the forefront of flab. And it seems this is no exaggeration with around two thirds of Americans believed to be overweight, and a third of the population considered obese. The takeaway lifestyle in the States has been the target of comedians and satirists for decades- and if you believe the press, we Brits aren’t far behind. In search of a summer to remember I flew to America in July to coach kids ‘soccer’ skills, or as we rightly say, football skills. I was welcomed with open arms by families across the mid-west, where I was stationed. I expected tonnes of chubby youngsters to flood on to the fields on my first morning, but I was pleasantly surprised. Most of the kids were able and willing and loved exercise but the problems linked with exercise and obesity are far more deep than I expected. Like most guys, I grew up watching and playing football and it’s no different in America. Believe it or not kids in the US have, if anything, more opportunities to go out and get involved in sports. They have a massive summer camp system and a lot of the kids I had coached had been in three or four different camps throughout summer playing different sports; no such system exists in Britain.

The sad thing is that Americans are offered little alternative to an unhealthy diet and if anything, it’s more expensive to buy healthy foods than it is processed goods. For example, in my experience the only drinks I was offered were water, Gatorade or fizzy drinks which besides water are obviously full of sugar and caffeine. Cordial and squash are pretty much non-existent, in fact being the exciting guy that I am, I found that one little can of Mountain Dew (Sprite but with loads of caffeine) has 46 grams of sugar in it. And these bad eating and drinking habits definitely add up. According to the British Heart Foundation, over half of the British population is overweight and the percentage of overweight people in the UK has increased by 50% in the last ten years. So clearly the UK also has a weight problem, but, with our healthy alternatives and government schemes such as ‘fit 4 life’, we at least seem to be heading in the right direction.

“With ‘quickfix’ surgery


now available on the NHS,

it seems the consequences of an unhealthy

However, there is obviously a lot of work to be done, especially since there is so much temptation out there for people with a penchant for pies. As well as this, short cuts to a slim waist and fad diets have saturated sections of the media which make people think less about the consequences of poor diets without exercise.

THE RUMOUR mill has been churning for a while with reports that Jude Law and Sienna Miller may be back together. The pair famously split up after Jude cheated on Sienna with his children’s nanny in 2006, but this week Sienna was snapped leaving the actors apartment in New York just minutes after he left himself. Jude happily posed for photographers, whilst Sienna left hastily a few minutes later, trying to cover her face. The couple have been spotted out and about in New York together a few times recently, and this week even attended mutual friend Jonny Lee Miller’s son’s birthday party, arriving just minutes after one another. According to insiders it is common knowledge that the couple are back together within celeb circles, with one quoted as saying; "They sit, they drink shots, they kiss, they chat to friends, they behave as all lovers do. And up until now, they've done a pretty good job of keeping things secret.” Jude has also apparently told a friend that he never fell out of love with Sienna and that he would consider marrying her! Let’s hope he’s learnt his lesson; after all they do say a leopard doesn’t change its spots… IN OTHER news Jedward continue to take over the world, now apparently appearing on The Simpsons! The show’s producers are said to be impressed by The X Factor twins and are “taking a look at them”. A spokesperson has said: "They're certainly charming and good-looking fellows." "We would love to be on The Simpsons!" said an excited Edward. "John, Edward and The Simpsons – we're best friends with Bart!" I’m still loving Jedward-mania!

the police were called. The man explained: "She was in a terrible state. Her tights were ripped and there were grazes all over her legs." Despite the abuse, Ekaterina has refused to press charges against her boyfriend who has now been released on bail pending further enquiries. LASTLY, THE next Harry Potter film is shaping up to be a little be raunchy, with lots of naked-ness and even a sex scene! Not sounding too child friendly at the moment is it?! The scene in question takes place when Ron tries to destroy one of the Horcruxes which in turn causes him to have some nasty mental images – one being Harry and Hermione engaging in some extra curricular activity, ooerr! Director David Yates explains, "We’ll create something that feels very sexy and very intriguing to bring about a reaction in Rupert [Grint, who plays Ron]. Daniel [Radcliffe, who plays Harry] has appeared nude in the past. There are a couple of scenes in the new film in which he will undress, but we’re still thinking about how we present it. There is another scene in King’s Cross station, where Harry almost dies and sees Dumbledore. In that scene, he will also be naked." I don’t know about anyone else but that last one sounds a bit dodgy to me… Jude and Sienna: Back together?

ROLLING STONES star Ronnie Wood was arrested this week for allegedly assaulting his 20 year old Russian girlfriend Ekaterina Ivanova. According to witnesses, Wood dragged her down the street and threatened to burn her face with his cigarette; the abuse only stopped when a passer-by intervened. The man who stepped in took Ekaterina into his flat where

lifestyle are

Gastric bypass surgery is becoming the procedure of the moment for celebrities looking to slim down like Fern Britton, which seems to offer an easy way out for people with bad eating and exercise habits. The surgery reduces the size of the stomach to the size of an egg so that you feel full earlier and therefore eat less, but it is quick fixes like this that are at fault in my opinion. With possible avenues such as surgery now available on the NHS, it seems the consequences of an unhealthy lifestyle are lessening which is blatantly unhealthy for people in the UK.


In England, we have a passion for sport- and more importantly, a conscience- when it comes to food because we are surrounded by warnings and healthy alternatives. America is littered with more takeaways than I thought possible, American TV is packed with adverts for greasy burgers and even sporting venues are sponsored by takeaways. Ever heard of Pizza Hut Park (home of the FC Dallas soccer team)?

Obesity levels in the US are dangerously high

It does look like the underlying problems of unhealthy eating from an early age are being addressed over here somewhat with the media pushing for healthy food through initiatives like Jamie’s school dinners and the five-a-day plan. We do have a lot to be thankful for, but being the negative self deprecating nation that we are sometimes it’s difficult to appreciate that at least we’re making a conscious effort to change.

Shakira Flores-Heatley DEAR FOLLOWERS, for our last trip before the Christmas holidays, I thought we could go to where all our childhood dreams began: Lapland, the land of Father Christmas.

brings gifts; entering the houses through the chimney.

Santa Claus, also known as Saint Nicholas, Father Christmas, or simply "Santa" is a legendary figure who would bring gifts to the homes of the good children on Christmas Eve. The legend may have part of its basis in hagiographical tales concerning the historical figure of gift giver Saint Nicholas.

The tradition of Santa Claus entering through the chimney may reach back to the tale of Saint Nicholas tossing coins through a window, and, in a later version of the tale, tossing coins down a chimney when he finds the window locked. In Dutch artist Jan Steen's painting, ‘The Feast of Saint Nicholas’, adults and toddlers are glancing up a chimney with amazement on their faces while other children play with their toys. The fireplace has always been sacred in primitive belief as a source of beneficence, and popular belief had elves and fairies bringing gifts to the house through this portal.

One legend says that Santa lives in the far north, in a land of perpetual snow, and resides in the mountains of Korvatunturi in Lapland Province, Finland.

I don’t know about you, but I still kind of believe in Santa, and even though I have never had a chimney I always thought I could hear him through the radiator’s pipes when I was a kid!

As we all know, Santa Claus lives with his wife Mrs. Claus, a countless number of magical elves, and nine flying reindeer. According to some legends, Santa makes a list of children throughout the world, categorising them as ‘naughty’ or ‘nice’ and then he

So whatever you may be doing this Christmas, I hope you have an amazing time and you never know: you might hear the sleigh bells on your roof at some point! Have a great holiday – and remember, my hints don’t lie!

Lapland, or Sami in the sami language, is a geographical-cultural region where the Sami live, also called Lapp people. It’s in northern Europe and it spreads over the regions of Norway, Sweden, Finland and the Kola Peninsula in Russia.


December 14th 2009 / Student Direct


Things I Couldn’t Live Without . . . the way it is meant to be! I love listening to her monotonous tone and looking at my Dad with tears in his eyes. It is a heart warming moment and one which defines Christmas for me.

Gemma Blackman Features Editor



DECORATIONS I love Christmas decorations! When 1 December comes around, I constantly nag my parents until my Dad goes up into the loft and gets them all. While I’m inside decorating the living room and tree (and normally the stairs as well!) with Mum, Dad is outside putting up lights for everyone to see. Being at university and being very poor has not curbed my enthusiasm, and our kitchen is one of the rare ones to have decorations up, including a mini tree! CHRISTMAS CD Christmas music is just so uplifting; I cannot wait to listen to it. I have to resist playing “All I want for Christmas is you” in June, so when December comes I instantly break out the Christmas CD! I know that some people get sick of the same songs constantly for one month, but not me!


THE QUEEN’S SPEECH I know that this makes me incredibly sad, but my family have always had our plates full of Christmas dinner just as the Queen greets us, it’s


BRUSSEL SPROUTS Once again, something which very few people will agree with but I love my sprouts! My Mum always buys them fresh for me and I peel and prepare them after the presents have been unwrapped and they are just for me. I kid you not, the first time I saw fresh Brussel sprouts in Tesco this year I squeaked with excitement!



This is always the best thing on the television at Christmas time. The Christmas specials of this show have brought us Catherine Tate as ‘the runaway bride’, Kylie Minogue in ‘Voyage of the Damned’ and David Morrissey in ‘The next Doctor’. With this year’s set to be David Tennant’s penultimate episode as the Doctor, I’m sure I’ll not be the only one glued to my seat this Christmas.

r u o Y t u o Sh

Alex Hughes “HOMER SIMPSON once asked "Rockstars: is there anything they don't know?", judging by the plethora of celebrities weighing on the political issues of the day, it would appear that there isn't. From Annie Lennox on Gaza to Bono on Third World debt relief; celebrities are moralising on every political issue. When does simply advocating political issues and bringing them to public attention become the illinformed trying to influence government legislation? What mandate do celebrities have to influence government policy? Do a couple of BRIT awards or an Oscar qualify as a strong enough authorisation?

Lily: Expert of knife crime?

What doesn't help is that politicians seem to be willing to pay lip service to

ACTIVITY GROUP OF THE WEEK Debating Society Gemma Blackman Features Editor THE DEBATING society is a popular activity group at Salford, and has welcomed many new members this year. With regular guest speakers, this society is one of the most diverse available. The members meet every Thursday at 6pm in the Harold Riley boardroom in University House. The meetings consist of a different debate every week, with topics ranging from ‘Is chivalry dead?’ to ‘Is Obama good for America?’. Each week, there is one speaker for and one speaker against a pre-decided proposition; they each speak for a maximum of ten minutes and the debate is then opened to the floor, i.e., the people present are able to raise their hand to participate in the debate. The first debate lasts approximately 50 minutes, and towards the end of this the two speakers are invited to make a closing statement, and then a show of hands decides the winner of the debate. Newcomers are allowed to sit and observe for free, unless there is a guest speaker, in which case a £2 fee is charged to cover expenses. You can be as involved as much or as little as you like; choose to speak for or against an issue, chair a meeting, make your feelings known from the floor, or just go along and observe quietly. Membership for the entire year is £8, which

celebrities and the latest political cause du jour. When London experienced an epidemic of knife crime last year, who did London Mayor Boris Johnson publicly consult on the issue? Community leaders or MP's of the affected areas? Experts from the Metropolitan police? No, Lilly Allen, the private school educated, cricket loving daughter of famous actor Keith Allen. Not the first person you'd expect to be an expert on rough inner city London knife crime. What had she said to prove herself an expert on knife crime? "Can everyone in the UK please stop stabbing each other? It's really sad. We need to have a knife amnesty, we should put on a big concert to raise awareness and stop the violence", hardly insightful. Are the youths in London going to lay down their weapons because Lilly Allen says so? I think not. As for a concert, is there anything that can’t be solved by a concert? Poverty, climate change... It’s the arrogance of the celebrities that annoys me. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt will not get married until same sex marriages are legal all over America. Do they really think the powers that be are saying “Oh, my! The Jolie-Pitts aren’t getting married until we legalise same sex marriages. Let’s get on it!” Did John Lennon and Yoko

includes entrance to all guest speakers as well as the wine socials which precede them. After the Thursday meetings, the team usually reconvene in Bar Yours for a few drinks. Previous guest speakers for the society have included Michael Nazir-Ali, Former Bishop of Rochester; Peter Fahy, Chief Constable, Greater Manchester Police and Steve Davies, author of the 'Divorced Dad’s Handbook' amongst others. Guest speakers planned for next semester include Professor Thomas Gibbons, Professor of Media Law at the University of Manchester. The topic will be 'Individual Privacy Vs. Public Interest - The Limits of Journalistic Investigation' and that will be on 3 March 2010. As well as Professor Gibbons, there will also be a visit from Professor Dave Webb from the University of Leeds, Vice-Chair, Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament (CND) to discuss 'The Case for Nuclear Disarmament In The 21st Century' on 11 March next year. For more information, you can follow the Debating Society on Twitter at or join their group on Facebook at up.php?gid=20334968120&ref=ts.

Rockstars: Is There Anything They Don’t Want To Get Involved With? Ono think they were so important and well respected that the world would put down their weapons and secure world peace just because the two of them were lying in bed and promoting it? Guess what; no one tuned in, no one turned on and no one dropped out. It's not that I don't care about poverty-stricken countries like Africa or the huge problem of knife crime on our streets; and I could find at least ten people who would testify that the Middle East peace process is an issue very dear to my heart. I just resent being moralised to by a bunch of selfrighteous celebrities who fail to practice what they preach. Remember Bono spending thousands of pounds on a law suit to get a pair of trousers and a hat back? Sounds more like Legisl8 than Live8. If celebrities could actually use their power to bring about change and made some intelligent comments or even showed unwavering devotion to a cause, I might be interested. Take Joanna Lumley and the Ghurkhas for example. She proved to be an exception to the rule that celebrities will just jump on a charity band wagon to gain themselves publicity. Lumley spoke passionately and intellectually about a group of people who had been unjustly treated and made sure that the

Angelina Jolie story was heard; she didn’t decide that she wanted to be the ‘face’ of a cause over night. However, fine sounding, vacuous pieties that ultimately are nothing more than a celebrities’ attempt to show they care and achieve little do not interest me. They say politics is show business for ugly people, let’s not turn show business into politics for attractive people.”

18 SALFORD – ISSUE 12 Monday 14th December 2009

Movies of ’09 1. Inglorious Basterds: Tarantino lined up another all star cast and wrote a script set during WWII which was funny, thought provoking, gruesome in places, self-indulgent, and wacky in equal measure. Typical Tarantino. The formula should be tired, but it really isn’t. Fantastic entertainment, which is exactly what it should always be.

2. Paranormal Activity: Scary scary scary! Honestly, the scariest thing ever. Audiences collectively wet themselves. It was also done on a really small budget, and they’ve made so much money from it, very well done there on the whole “let’s make ourselves filthy stinking rich” campaign. It’s really scary!

everything we didn’t expect, and therefore it was amazing.

4. Public Enemies: Contender for coolest film of the year alongside Inglorious Basterds; Johnny Depp was truly the sexiest thing on the big screen for the umpteenth year running. He played John Dillinger perfectly; the story might have been a bit long but it was a true story, which is so cool. It’s really cool and awesome and things.

5. Monsters vs. Aliens: The great thing about DreamWorks latest release was its universal appeal to viewers of all ages and intellectual levels. Obvious jokes, nerdy jokes, deep cultural and historical references and a great vocal cast all combined to make a hugely entertaining film. Will never win the best picture Oscar, but it doesn’t need to. Does exactly what it says on the tin.

3. Star Trek: Someone had a brilliant idea and made Star Trek interesting, action packed and good looking (ok, Shatner was alright but let’s not get into that…)! Awesome special effects, an excellent storyline, no boring dialogue… it was

Sounds of ’09 Mumford & Sons: The banjo – who knew it could be used to such great effect? Their debut, “Sigh No More” is a set of songs with heartfelt lyrics to encapsulate the feeling of a man in love, in fear and in excitement of the world around him, and it really does pull at the strings. Standout tracks: Little Lion Man, White Blank Page, Winter Winds Florence and the Machine: The debut album was everything we expected. Her live shows are epic. The power and depth of that voice is unreal. Her machine isn’t bad either. Turn the volume up on “Drumming Song” for the gradual percussion build up leading to the final crescendo. Actually, turn the volume up for the whole album. Standout tracks: You Got the Love, Cosmic Love, Dog Days are Over Hockey: “Mind Chaos”, the debut LP, is easily one of the best albums of the year. Take the best bits from 80’s keyboard hooks and 90’s guitar music, fuse them with funky dance rhythms and you have Hockey. Touring in March; attendance mandatory. His voice is oddly like Bob Dylan’s, too – weird, eh? Standout tracks: Work, Song Away, Wanna Be Black

The Winners ’09 Lady GaGa (Most Original, sort of ):

Manic Street Preachers (Best Recycling Job):

Rihanna (Best Marketing Machine):

The formula may be dated but when Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta performs as Lady Gaga those radio friendly songs smash all the clichés. It’s all simply great pop.

‘Journal For Plague Lovers’ is the biggest return to old ways that the Manics could have made. Taking Richey Edwards’ last lyrics, putting them into a more angsty, old school Manics sound and making it all arty as hell, it works.

Despite her relationship troubles, Rihanna ended the year as one of 2009’s top pop artists. It was undoubtedly a combination of force of personality and great PR, but still deserving of respect.

Blur (Best Comeback):

Doves (Most likely to make you cry):

Ok, they said themselves they were in it for the money, but their Glastonbury performance will always be remembered as one of those amazing moments. Empire of the Sun (Best Exposition of Retro): Hello 80’s, a band has appeared that we think you forgot about. Oh no, apparently they’re from the noughties, that’s fine. Oh, the 80’s is really big and cool right now, yeah? Well done, EotS.

‘Kingdom Of Rust’ makes full use of Jimi Goodwin’s haunting vocals, and soulful performances such as the one for the BBC Electric Proms this year can easily reduce grown men to tears. Them Crooked Vultures (Best Supergroup): Dave Grohl, Josh Homme, John Paul Jones. Rock royalty. The album is loud, hard rock, but they will be all about the gig. Their UK tour sold out in 12 minutes – that tells you everything.

Michael Jackson (Best Death): It was the only thing in the news for weeks. It was the only thing that actually mattered for weeks. Most profitable death, too, from our favourite non-paedophile.

Alison Mosshart and Jack White performed at the Academy in October, delivering a jaw dropping performance of dirty, Jack Daniels fuelled Tennessee rock n roll. Deafeningly loud, with the gorgeous Mosshart delivering lyrics with her trademark sexual suggestiveness, it was one of the live highlights of the year.

Hockey: A select few had tickets for this tiny gig at Academy 3, and it was a privilege to be there. In three years time, we get to say “I saw them before they made it”. They had one album’s worth of tunes and played them all. Just how it should be.


Mancunian musicians have a certain swagger about them. Arrogance, even. It’s how it is and always has been. And if you’re ever asked to define it, use “My Way” as your guide. Nobody does it better than Ian Brown. Cocky, assured and full of great tunes. He’ll never top his work with The Stone Roses, but he’s getting closer. Standout tracks: Stellify, In The Year 2525, Marathon Man

Scotsmen picking up their guitars, turning up their amps and essentially making no frills rock music. The beauty is in the simplicity. But their album “Only Revolutions” also has moments that show they can write some great lyrics to go with their killer tunes. Winning combination. Standout tracks: Many Of Horror, The Captain, That Golden Rule

The Cribs: The Cribs do create the most northern music, ever. Rural rock ‘n’ roll, it’s the future. This year’s release has been well up to standard. Johnny Marr’s guitar riffs are legendary, but the Jarman brothers have given them a new lease of life. Marr says it’s his best work in almost 25 years. No arguments.

La Roux: My God, it’s an androgynous woman with a ridiculous haircut making brilliant electropop for the masses! The self titled debut is excellent, some people may think it’s not, but they have no taste. Elly Jackson’s voice is also amazing, even live she can hit all the notes; it’s not always about the autotuner, kids. Standout tracks: In for the Kill, Bulletproof, Tigerlily Noah and the Whale: Charlie Fink is a bit of a genius, if we ignore last summer’s happy clappy Five Years Time, anyway. The best concept album of the year, in a twee yet hideously depressing manner, which can help in the grand scheme of things – since when do you have to have acoustic guitars and harmonies and be happy? Standout tracks: The whole album, First Days of Spring


Losers of ’09 In the Firing Line ’09

Who’s in the (metaphorical) gallows at the end of ’09…

Snow Patrol:

Robbie Williams:

Bland, weak, uninspiring, pointless – Snow Patrol are all of these and more. There was a time when you were considered a proper band if you played your own instruments and wrote your own songs. Not in this case. And they have the audacity to release a Best Of?

His past material might have been great but the new album is, to be fair, awful. He’s not touring because he’s scared to. He can’t write decent songs because he’s exhausted all his resources. He needs to join Take That faster so we can all start loving him again.

Stereophonics: A classic case of a band that say a lot, when in actual fact they have nothing to say at all. Kelly Jones needs to find a cure for the sore throat he’s had for his whole career. It sounds awful. Harry Potter: Kids books, adapted into films for parents to take their kids to. That is all these films are. Another one made it to the big screen this year. Should adults really be visiting a world containing Dumbledor, Quiddich and Mudbloods? Grow up people.

Biffy shouldn’t be a good band. Gruff, rotund, hairy

And finally, Buz’s last Alternative (re)View of ’09

He sings about white lightning and love. Thankfully the music is absolutely brilliant, as is his insanely genius wordplay. If he doesn’t take over the world, he’ll definitely be more popular than Billy Bragg was.

Black Kingdom Red Kingdom Andrew Busby I’M STILL lacking a copy of the new Shpongle album, and I know how excited you all were for that review (well...) but instead, I was hammering some EBM/Industrial this week. I was going to just review Angelspit’s album Blood Death Ivory, but instead decided to write about this one; Black Kingdom Red Kingdom is basically the same album, but all the tracks have been remixed by other artists. I made this decision because to be perfectly honest...most of the tunes on this album are better than the originals (although I still adore Angelspit). KMFDM open this album with their take on opening track “Kill Kitty” and there is everything to like. That industrial kick drum, the chunky guitar riffs, and Angelspit’s vocalist (who calls herself destroyx, by the way) churning out the lyrics over the top. Along with other amazing

Generic rambling pop is not good. Good pop is good, we like good pop. Beyonce had a few good singles here and there a few years ago, with the “I’m a strong woman and you should respect me” message, which all men totally got and understood and respected. Thing is, she’s still badgering on about it. Oasis: They split up! Yay! Their two good albums at the beginning of their career were wonderful. Their other awful, “could be in the 99p bin at Tesco”, type drivel wasn’t so good. The annoying thing really is that they kept going, and Mancunians kept loving it, the idiots. They were rubbish at Heaton Park, too; Kasabian were miles better. Well, the one good thing about this year is that one of these groups have split up, sort of. Fall Out Boy hopefully will be no more, with their awful pop-punk-emo type stuff that wouldn’t even make it onto a Green Day B-Side compilation.

Biffy Clyro:



Panic at the Fall Out Boy:

Standout tracks: We Share the Same Skies, Cheat on Me, Weapons of Mass Production

Jamie T (Best Saviour of the Underclass):

Best Live in ’09 Dead Weather:

Ian Brown:

Arctic Monkeys: They haven’t really put a foot wrong in their career, as yet, the Arctics. This year’s release, “Humbug”, is brilliant. Changing direction completely from their indie roots to a more rock based, deserty feel (blame Josh Homme for that) really has brought their creative juices out in full flow. They might be working with the QOTSA man for the next album – here’s hoping! Standout tracks: Crying Lightning, Pretty Visitors, Cornerstone Muse: Muse are an epic band who now exclusively make stadium rock, and this is a stadium rock album. At this rate, the next step can only be a Use Your Illusion style monster. “The Resistance” is the most over the top, pointless record of the year – which is why it’s so brilliant. Standout tracks: Undisclosed Desires, Resistance, Exogenesis parts 1, 2 and 3

Monday 14th December 2009

As this is our final paper of 2009, arts editors Mazher and Tom give you a rundown of what went right and what went oh-so-wrong in the world of music, film and all things artsy in the last 12 months . . .

remixes by leading artists such as Alec Empire, there are tracks on there by artists I’d never heard before, but since purchasing this, I’ve grown to know and love. A group called Implant put their take on the track “Skinny Little Bitch”, which again, I’m liking more than the original; I:Scintilla reworked “Girl Poison”, which is also incredibly addictive, and both these groups now reside on my iPod (and should now do so on yours). Sadly, a group known as vo1d really let this album down. Their

remix starts out really, really well, but goes rapidly downhill once the pre chorus vocals enter. Everything sounds so out of time. Now, I know that vo1d are good producers and perfectly capable of doing a good job of this. I’d go as far as to say they did this on purpose- I can’t figure out why though. In short, Angelspit are definitely a band you should check out. This album is also a necessity, although personally, I’d be sure to listen to their original stuff first. I’m funny like that.

Last Regards THEY FOUGHT it out with four other Salford groups to be crowned regional winners of the Battle of the Bands competition; here, Matty Cheetham, lead singer of the victorious Last Regards tells us how it feels to be in the final heat, and what the group would spend the £3,000 prize money on should they be victorious… “The Battle of the Bands competition seemed like a great opportunity to get our group noticed; we’ve been together as a group since June, and there are five of us in the band: myself, along

And before we pack up our reviewing bags for the festive season, here’s what’s been happening in Salford, arts-wise, in our final week…

with Chris Dickinson (bass guitar and backing vocals), Jack McElhinney (rhythm guitar), Jonathan Huntley (lead guitar) and Alex Unsworth (drums). In January, we’ll join the groups from five other universities who won their regional heats, and we will perform in front of Frankmusik and a music journalist. It should be a great experience; we’ve never had our performance professionally judged before, so I’m looking forward to that. The regional heat last weekend, which was held at The Pav, was pretty nerve wracking. We brought along about 15 of our friends to support us; I was really nervous before we went on stage,

Salford’s winning group Last Regards

and I was definitely surprised when it was announced that we’d won! I think we won the heat because we were a bit different; we never limit ourselves by saying our music belongs in one genre, instead we’ll do some heavy stuff and then some softer tunes, too. We’ve applied to support groups on tour and gig in venues before, but because we couldn’t guarantee we’d pull the crowds in, promoters weren’t interested. We have done gigs before, around Liverpool, Salford and St Helens, but this is the biggest thing we’ve been involved in. If we did win the final, we’d get the chance to work with Frankmusik and we’d receive £3,000; we’ve already spent it in our heads though! We’d buy some new equipment, and put some money towards recording our first professional EP. But we’ve got some way to go before we win! We’ve been checking out the other finalistsone group is a rap/metal band, another is proper indie; we’re waiting for the other finalists to be announced over the next couple of weeks, but we’ll be keeping a close eye on all of them!”

Bono: Thankfully the ultimate rent-acause figurehead took time out from his hectic schedule of jumping on one bandwagon to another to actually record an album this year. Shame it was a bit shit though. U2 are over as a musical force. Cheryl Cole: She’s gorgeous. But her single is terrible. Her album is worse. Her claim to fame is now as a judge on a talent show? That’s tragic. “Quitting’s out of the question” she sings. Not for you, love. X-Factor: A short character analysis of celebrities: they love themselves and will do anything to promote themselves. Anyone who still believes this show is about unearthing the next big thing instead of furthering the careers of Cowell, Cole, Walsh and Minogue take note. 50 Cent:

there a date set for this? And how is he going to do it? Is he going to get shot for the 145,496th time? If so can I pull the trigger? Kanye West: Kanye, do us all a favour and stop thinking you’re some form of Deity, yeah? Poor Taylor Swift, no one was impressed with what you did. No one really likes you, either. You’re not very good at writing songs, you probably smell bad, you’re definately shorter than you think.

OF COURSE, Student Direct: Salford Edition would never ever say anyone should actually be killed, but if the death penalty came back and crimes against music were punishable by death, Simon Cowell would be first to be hung. With the exception of Girls Aloud, Cowell has single handedly created a whole generation of faceless,

Lord Mandleson:


Kids steal stuff. They always have, they always will. Adults also steal stuff. They always have, they always will. The idea of punishing people for using new technologies rather than actually going with the times and developing an archaic music industry is whilst expected completely idiotic, you tool.

popstars that this world can do

Twilight: They all deserve to be shot. No more, no less. Just kill them.

This year we’ve been treated to “Before I Self Destruct”. Is


without. He has given hope to millions that each and every single one of them will have fame and glory – the industry is an elite.



importantly of all, he’s made a mint





Almost Famous are back! Gemma Blackman Features Editor ALMOST FAMOUS are back with the first of their two productions this festive season;‘The Rise and Fall of Little Voice’. The play tells the story of a young woman, Little Voice (played by Emily Foster) who is a virtual recluse after the death of her father. Her only comfort is playing his old records; the sounds of Shirley Bassey, Marilyn Monroe and many others fill her room – and one night Ray Say, her mother’s boyfriend (played by Joe Watts) hears her and wants to make her a star. But along the way several problems develop; the twists and turns of this storyline made this an enjoyable performance, although at times it felt a bit rushed and difficult to follow. Particular characters really brought the play alive, especially Mari, LV’s mother played by Sarah Turnbull. A larger-than-life character, it was a tough role to take on, but Sarah handled it with professionalism and flair. Her interaction with Joe Watts’ character of Ray Say was also superb. The two clicked so well that it was hard to believe that this was Joe’s first performance with Almost Famous. The eponymous character of Little Voice, portrayed by Emily Foster, was exquisite. Even without any lines for the first 20 minutes of the play, the audience was instantly drawn to the character and when she sang three big songs in a row you could feel the stunned silence. The evolvement of this character was displayed perfectly by Emily who took on every challenge laid out for her with boundless talent. For more productions by Almost Famous, look out for posters advertising ‘Tales from Ovid’ which will be showing 2-4 February and ‘West Side Story’, which will be performed from 11-13 February.

Emily Foster as Little Voice

06 UNION 06

December 14th 2009 / Student Direct


Union News

Ice Skating on Wednesday 23 December 2009 GET INTO the festive spirit and enjoy the excitement of ice skating at the local Altrincham Ice Rink! There is also an on site cafeteria should you require any food or refreshments. A coach will pick up from University House at 11.30am, and will leave Altrincham Ice Rink at 3.30pm. It costs just £10 per person inclusive of transport, entry and skate hire (children must be over 2 years of age). Places can be booked online at: or at General Office in University House (ticket sales close 21 December 2009)

For more information contact or call 0161 351 5400

State of the Union

With USSU President Matt Webber The first semester has certainly their final piece of work for the gone by very quickly! It has been correct deadline, as well as the very exciting here in the announcement of the review of Students’ Union with a series of higher education funding. If you’re different events and campaigns. still unsure about these issues and We’ve had campaigns on higher others, look out for a new section education funding and in Student Direct: Salford Edition environmental next term, which issues, held several will pin-point forums to debate It’s also been specific academic the key academic difficulties faced by a really busy students each week issues, and we’ve just had our with help from the semester Christmas ball. USSU advice centre.

Sabbs Ask, You Say. . . Every week, your sabbatical officers will be asking a different question to students in each of their faculties regarding university life- so if you see them around, tell them what you’re thinking! This weeks question is:

“What’s been the best part of this semester?”

It’s also been a really busy semester because it’s the first time we’ve had faculty based vicepresidents, and hopefully having a direct contact for your faculty has made a difference to you if you’ve had any issues this semester.

because it’s

Next semester, we’ve still got many the first time challenges and opportunities. we’ve had There will be the faculty based elections in February and vice-presidents, beginning of March and hopefully where we will find out who the next having a direct team of student leaders will be, as contact for your well as a national election We also had our faculty has made general which - depending first vice chancellor and student rep a difference to on whom gets elected - will map meeting which you if you’ve had out how the country seemed to go well, hosted our first any issues this and education are run. The more heavily attended semester. students we get REC night in years voting in the general and rolled out a series of different events for many election the greater chance we have of students being listened to. different groups of students.

There have also been the challenges of the new academic regulations which will be affecting any students who do not submit

Jim Dale

Ricky Chotai

Emily Godfrey

Joe Kirwin

VP for Business, Law and Built Environment Email:

VP for Health and Social Care Email:

VP for Science, Engineering and Environment Email:

VP for Arts, Media and Social Sciences Email:

Danny Khan Business & Management Level 2

Jenna Flower Nursing Student Year 1

Natalie Geraghty Journalism MA

“Rec night was a great night, it was good to have an event for clubs and societies at The Pav.”

“The best thing has been welcome week!”

Chris Corkery HND Professional Sound & Video Technology Year 1 “ The best thing for me about this semester has been meeting a load of cool, like-minded people who have made moving from far away an awesome experience.”

“Meeting some great new friends.”

Overall, it’s been a busy first semester. I hope everyone has a great time off and an enjoyable Christmas. See you in the New Year!


December 14th 2009 / Student Direct


Hayley’s Here to Help!


Every week, our resident Agony Aunt Hayley will answer your questions on everything from sex to education. If you have a problem you’d like an answer to, email the editor at and we’ll pass them on!


Health and Lifestyle

MY TWO sisters and I have decided to only spend £10 on each other for Christmas as we are all poor students scattered around the country! Have you any ideas for something cheap but special I could get for them?

Women (£8.95), Gwen Stefani L.A.M.B (£7.99) and Cacharel Liberte (£7.95). Alternatively, if you can’t decide, get them a gift voucher for their favourite shop so they can choose what they want themselves!

Don't fret as there are many places offering great presents for £10 or under. I suggest you look at Boots as they offer a great range of Christmas presents under a tenner, and they're all on the pharmacist’s popular ‘3 for 2’ offer, so you could get a freebie out of it; perhaps for your mum or friend, or even yourself! Another idea is to look at cheap fragrance websites. I used this year and I've had no problems with them. They're currently doing many fragrances for under a tenner, including Davidoff Coolwater for

MY PARENTS are assuming I’ll spend Christmas day with them, as it’s traditionally quite a family orientated event in our household; but I’d really like to spend it with my boyfriend (he lives in Southampton, I’m in Manchester) what should I do? I hate letting anyone down! You are obviously well-loved by both your family and your boyfriend and you don't want to upset them, so you have a few options. You could spend Christmas Day with your parents, and then as a compromise, spend New Year's Eve with your boyfriend, and then next year (if you're planning on being with him for a while!) spend Christmas Day with him, and New Year's Eve with your family. Another option is to ask him to join you in Manchester for Christmas Day, and that way you've got your family and your boyfriend

together in one place, but it all depends on what he thinks his family will say about it. Talk it over with everyone, and they will soon see that you don’t want to upset anyone – they’ll help you come to some arrangement.

Amanda Harrett IT’S REMARKABLE how close you can get with a group of people in only a few short months! I can remember my first night here, when I met my new housemates. Although I was both physically and emotionally exhausted from travelling across the world from my hometown in Canada, I stayed up to try and get to know them. I realised within my first couple of days that I was quite fortunate and living with a good group of people. My housemates have gone from being complete strangers to becoming like family to me; they are people I can have a laugh with, cry in front of and just generally people I trust and can talk to. Although I feel completely at home here, I am looking forward to Christmas break. I can’t wait to see my family and friends, sleep in my own bed and – it has to be said – play in the snow. But I have become so attached to the people and places here that I will miss it while I’m home, even though it’s only for a few weeks! I am fortunate enough to be doing a full year of university here; there are still a lot of places

I want to travel to while I’m here and I will have the time next semester to do so- and to be honest, I’m not ready to say my goodbyes just yet. But I know not every international student chooses to do a full year abroad, so for some, these last couple of weeks will be their final days in Salfordthe time has flown by so quickly! I’ve heard people say, “I wish I could have done this” or “I wish I could have gone there” and they feel as though they didn’t make the most of their time here. If you’re feeling this way, just remind yourself that you’ve probably just been through the most unreal and unique experience of your life, and you should have no regrets. For those who are returning after the break, you’ve got a pretty good idea about how life is here, and can probably formulate some sort of agenda that accommodates your travelling and sight-seeing desires. But while at home, enjoy the time you spend with your family. I know I will!

So You Want To Be . . . Not a day goes by when the headlines aren’t screaming about how the country has run out of money, there are no jobs, and if you’re graduating from university then you can expect to spend the next decade on the dole . . . So, to try and save you all from days spent watching Jeremy Kyle, we will be introducing a different career each week in the hope that you might find something you like!

Santa’s Little Helper

Rupert White NO, I am not referring to the Simpson's family dog, although some of the adventures he has makes it tempting. I am actually talking about being one of the little outfit-clad helpers developed during the 19th century that aid in the biggest logistical nightmare of the year: Christmas. As Dudley Moore found out in the 1985 movie ‘Santa Claus’, there is much responsibility bestowed upon the little helpers, and let it be said that Santa wouldn't get very far without them thanks to their enthusiasm and hard work ethic. For those of you who have not been the good little children that your parents raised you to be, the best thing about Santa's little helpers is that anyone can be one. Regardless of whether or not you have been very good or a little bit naughty this year, you just need to have a high motivation for the job, a

keen eye for perfection and good-will to all around the world. Once you have applied through the correct channel- and if you are lucky enough to be selected by the jolly man himself- then you can expect to be undertaking the following tasks: The first and most important of which is toy manufacturing within the colossal Christmas workshop. No prior experience is required, as specific role training is given upon your induction and regular tea and candy cane breaks are paramount; as is a song and dance during every 20 minute interval whilst on the assembly line. There is only one deadline to meet each year, but quality control is paramount as the customers can become upset quite quickly and in this economic climate are likely to switch allegiance to "Toys R us". The second task, which is equally important as the first, is the care and maintenance of the Christmas reindeer and sleigh. Regular servicing and maintenance of the sleigh combined with

repeated structural loading tests are required to ensure that all the presents for the boys and girls of the world can be carried safely and in one journey. The reindeer also require a large amount of TLC and regular exercise classes to keep them prepared for their yearly task whilst ensuring that the banter level regarding Rudolph's nose remains at an acceptable level. Finally, you may find yourself in the operations and planning department monitoring Santa's delivery progress on Christmas Eve via satellite. This is especially important as NORAD and various other national aerospace targeting systems may see a deviation from the flight path as hostile action thus prompting a quick call to ensure everything is ok. If you are interested in this roll then by all means apply! I am told applications for next year's little helpers must be hand written, placed inside a stocking next to the chimney and served with a glass of sherry, a mince pie and a carrot. If we do

not see you in classes next year then we will assume that your application was successful. For those of you who want to get started immediately in becoming a little helper, then you can log on the BBC website where you will be able to find out what your little helper name is. This is advantageous as it will allow you to avoid looking silly when introduced to your coworkers as the poor little nameless elf. If, on the other the hand, your body doesn't agree with the cold and you're allergic to reindeer then you can become a little helper closer to home. Adverts in the local Manchester job pages

advertising for a little helper with the following requirements read as follows: "Must be happy and good with children. Duties will include taking pictures with Santa and kids as well as handling money during scheduled hours before Christmas." To finish I would just like to wish you all a merry Christmas and hope you all take some well earned time off to relax, enjoy yourselves, and come back ready to work hard next year. For those of you who want to know, apparently my little helper name is "Giggly Berry-Cheeks". Oh come on, it’s Christmas!

Sport 39

Student Direct / December 7th 2009

The Week in Quotes Tom Doyle Tiger Woods – “This situation is my fault, and it's obviously embarrassing to my family and me. I’m human and I’m not perfect.” Arsene Wenger remains defiant after not shaking hands with Mark Hughes – “I can shake hands with who I want.” Arsene again – “Against Stoke I mark my 500th game and I believe I have shaken hands 497 times.”” Tiger: Not out ot the woods yet!

Mark Hughes’ response – “At one point, he questioned why I was over on his side of the technical area. He may have been a little bit aggrieved by that, but I would suggest he was more aggrieved that his team got beat.” The geographically challenged Bernhard Hopkins on Roy Jones Junior’s loss in Australia – “Everybody knows what happens when you go over to Europe and that's why I would never go over there.” Italian manager Marcelo Lippi joins in traditional English optimism – “I met Fabio (Capello) in the hotel when we arrived and we sat down and had a beer together. We would like to meet again, just before we play the final on July 11.” Harry Redknapp – “Having the women around will only cause problems. Here is an example: I’ve a mate who for the past three years has taken his pals to

the USA for a golf tournament against American pals. They have had a great time – the golf was great and the lads got on well. They took the wives this year and it was a disaster. All the wives had an argument and I think it's been cancelled for next year already.” Alex McLeish gets a bit mixed up – “The Premier League can be fickle. You can lose a few games and rocket down the table, and at the same time you can win a few and rocket up the table. We’re delighted to be in the former category.” 5 Live commentator prior to the Portsmouth-Burnley match – “This is not a must-win game for Portsmouth, it's a game they must win.”

Chant of the week Oldham fans to Norwich, whose club is owned by Delia Smith – “There's only one Gordon Ramsay.”

Sport Personality: Where are the Personalities? Jonathan Macpherson Sports Editor IT’S THAT time of year again when Britain’s sports stars gather before the TV cameras to celebrate the nation’s sporting highs and lows over the past 12 months. There is a fascinating list of sports stars on the list, encompassing nine different sports in what is, after all, a nonOlympic year. But is it just me, or do most of this year’s sports personality nominees lack something important? Oh yes, that’s it personality! There hasn’t been a genuine sports “personality” since Freddie Flintoff won it in 2005. And over the past 20 years you could argue that there has really only been a handful of sport stars that could be described as “personalities” that have been awarded with the accolade. In a world of political correctness and the intense scrutiny that is placed by the media and the management of

sports stars, great characters like Paul Gasgoine, Brian Clough, Alex Higgins, Jimmy White or “Beefy” Botham are now becoming an endangered species. In snooker one could argue that without Ronnie O’Sullivan the game would struggle to pull in the crowds the sport currently enjoys, as I doubt the like of Peter Ebdon could step up to the plate! But according to the BBC website, the Sports Personality award is given to those “whose actions have most captured the public’s imagination.” I guess that the word ‘personality’ really doesn’t have to come into it then? This year’s choices are certainly interesting ones. In teenage diving sensation Tom Daley and comparative veteran gymnast Beth Tweddle, it acknowledges world championship success for two athletes at the opposite end of their careers. Ryan Giggs, I feel, is there for sentimental reasons, while Andrew Strauss represents England's cricketers' Ashes success, and may have to be content with sharing the team award. Phillips Idowu and Jessica

Ennis are rewarded for their world championship athletics success respectively in the triple jump and heptathlon. With respect to world heavyweight champion David Haye, few outside boxing circles knew his name just a month ago, while Andy Murray - like Tim Henman before him - is now a regular fixture on the shortlist, despite that coveted Grand Slam title continuing to elude him. That for me really just leaves cycling superstar Mark Cavendish and F1 champion Jenson Button. According to the bookies, the F1 world champion is an odds-on certainty, and admittedly it's hard to see another winner. Unlike most past holders of the award, he at least fills the "personality" criterion in spades, and the Brawn back-story is a fascinating one, given that the team- which is formed from the ashes of the old Honda outfit- didn't exist a year ago. But if anyone knows how to time a late run to perfection, though, it's Cavendish, and if the nation's cycling community gets behind him, then who knows?

Interview: Graham Bell Tom Doyle FOR MANY years, Graham Bell and his brother Martin competed in the World Cup skiing for Great Britain. Graham appeared at five different Winter Olympic Games and eight British Championships, making him one of the country’s most successful skiers ever. These days Graham, now 42, is a presenter for Ski Sunday, and High Altitude; a new show last year aimed at showing the dangers of the mountains and how to overcome them. I met the ambassador for British skiing to chat about his career, Britain’s winter Olympic hopefuls, and some strange stories from his touring days…

Do you have any tips for intermediate skiers wanting to improve? It depends what type skiing they want to do; have a look at what ski’s are available on the market – on piste carving, off piste back country, ski touring- I’m getting more and more into ski touring, so anyone who wants to push it, I’d tell them go and hook up with ‘snow works’, which is Phil Smith and Emma CarrickAnderson. Then get yourself to Gressoney and do some big mountain skiing off piste. Can you tell us any top stories from being on tour? Well, one of the best stories involves one high profile skier at the Olympic Games last time. He blew his chances of a gold medal by spending the night with a playboy bunny in his RV, which was parked outside the Olympic Village! I saw her afterwards and she wasn’t all that- I don’t know if I would have traded that for a gold medal!

Which did you prefer making, the High Altitude TV series or Ski Sunday? I really enjoyed High Altitude! I found it really challenging. I thought that we made a really good series; it’s still running on Dave! I was really proud of what we did with it. Were you ever tempted to make a comeback into British skiing? No, I never really was actually! There was a time when I thought about doing skier cross but I never seriously did it. I did the British skier cross championships four of five years after I finished racing and won it! There were always too many injuries though; my shoulder’s fairly dodgy and that would have hindered any skier cross, as you need a really big strong pull at the start and I don’t think my shoulder would have held up. What’s your perspective on the young British skiers? It’s a shame really that on the men’s side, we’ve had this transition where we have talented skiers who are maybe two years too early for this Olympics. We’ve had a changing in the guard with Finlay (Mickel) and Alain (Baxter) retiring, which leaves Noel (Baxter) the most experienced male skier; and the rest of them are only 21 or 22. Ed Drake, David Ryding, Dougie Crawford, and Andy Noble - they’re too young really to go to the Olympics looking for anything more than a top 15 placing, but they’re not really medal contenders. It all really rests on Chemmy (Alcott) in the women’s for alpine racing- the whole of Britain’s skiing future rests on her. That’s mainly because of the way that the funding is going, as the 2012 Olympics is sucking money away from winter sports. Chemmy winning a medal in Vancouver would effectively rescue British skiing; if that wasn’t to happen then there’s going to be very hard times ahead.

Do you have a favourite race? Kitzbuhel, definitely! Favourite resort? I’ve got a lot of fond memories of Val D’Isere; there are some really good off piste runs off the Spatule run down from the Bellevarde. I had some really good runs there while the World Championships were on. FACT FILE: FAVOURITE FOOD - Roast lamb DREAM CAR – My land rover PHRASE TO LIVE BY – Don’t take a knife to a gun fight DREAM DATE – Chemmy Alcott NICKNAME – Gazzer or Wee Dinger PERSON YOU’D LIKE TO PUNCH – Berlusconi needs a slap, but he’s too old to punch FAVOURITE FOOTBALL TEAM - Chelsea FC WORST HABBIT drinking beer


PHOBIA – The Vikings used to say you can’t chose your fears, you’re either afraid or you’re not! You’ll be able to see Graham on Ski Sunday each week from 13 December, and then later in 2010 when the Winter Olympics begin.

BRAWLS AND BUST-UPS Matt Howard CHRISTMAS PARTIES? Who needs them? They often only end in nakedness, punches being thrown and bitter recriminations in the following days; and unfortunately for Stoke City, this was the turn of events BEFORE the festivities got underway. Totally against the spirit of the season, we look at some of footballs biggest internal bust ups. Sir Alex Ferguson V David Beckham, 2003 ‘Bootgate’ as it became internationally known was

enough to momentarily make the Iraq Stop the War Coalition consider changing their route from Trafalgar Square to Old Trafford as the nation recoiled at the belligerence of Fergie. The boot to the face and the resulting gash was an accident of course, and Beckham’s departure to Real Madrid at the end of the season was mere coincidence. David Batty V Graeme Le Saux, Moscow, 1995. A disastrous Champions League campaign for Blackburn Rovers hit a subterranean point as ‘combative’ David Batty and ‘brainbox’ Graeme Le Saux (Le Saux was subject to many witty and libellous nicknames

throughout his career, seemingly stemming from the fact he read the Guardian on the coach to games) traded blows on an icy Spartak Moscow pitch. Unsurprisingly, the all too evident discontent in the camp led to a 3-0 Spartak victory, and led their coach Oleg Romantsev to say, "Before the match I told my players they will be playing against 11 guys ready to fight for each other for 90 minutes - not with each other.” Brian Laws V Ivano Bonetti, 1996. Next up; ‘Chicken-gate’. Or was it ‘Wing-gate’? Either way, it was the biggest event to come out of

Grimsby since the discovery of cod off the North Sea. A 3-2 defeat at Luton was enough to make Grimsby’s then manager Brian Laws throw a plate of barbecued chicken wings at mercurial Italian, Ivano Bonetti. Bonetti hit the deck with a fractured cheekbone, and an unconvincing embrace for the cameras followed as Laws was successfully sued for damages by the Italian. Lee Bowyer V Kieron Dyer, 2005 Newcastle’s seemingly slow motion descent to the Championship could have had countless starting points; the


blubbing fans, the managerial merry go round, the takeover of ‘successful businessman Mike Ashley’. However, the sight of an on pitch brawl between Bowyer and Dyer is as good a starting point as any. The irony of the team having just returned from a ‘team bonding’ trip in Dubai was not lost on anyone, not least Bowyer, who faced a public order charge from police. With a look of embarrassment, opposing Aston Villa player Gareth Barry finally separated the pair and the referee did the rest as both were sent off and the club hit a new low... well, until the week after, probably.

Beckham’s injury after ‘boot-gate’

36 SalfordSport

December 14th 2009 / Student Direct


Interview with British skier Graham Bell

SUCC Maintain 100% Record Nick Metcalfe


THROUGH TO BUCS QUARTERS The second team after their crushing defeat

THE UNIVERSITY of Salford cricket club enters the final week of winter competition with the Old Trafford based ECB regional indoor league title seemingly secured. Having won all five of their matches in the competition to date, the team will be confident to qualify for the next round as league winners. The club enters the six-a-side format competition with the intention of maintaining match practice throughout the winter season and- should the club win its final game against Burnage cricket club- can qualify for the next stage of the tournament. Last week’s game saw Salford beat Follow Me cricket club in comfortable style, with excellent innings from Shazil, Khan, Snowball and Maddocks allowing the team to make a potentially tricky target of 110 seem far less problematic than it could have been. Under the experienced captaincy of Gavin Snowball, the team have achieved confident victories against the likes of Manchester Metropolitan University and Myerscough Academy, with first year players becoming an integral part of the side. The highlight of the season so far has arguably been the one wicket victory over Toft cricket club, with Salford able to show real team spirit and Bilal Afzal displaying a cool head in order to maintain their 100% winning record. Building upon the recent success of the indoor season, the club are targeting a promotion winning outdoor season, which begins in the summer. The club trains at Old Trafford Indoor Cricket Centre on Wednesdays from 3-5pm as part of a partnership between the University and Lancashire county cricket club and welcomes new players of all abilities. For further information, please see the Students’ Union activities department or check out the club’s facebook page.

The men’s team sailed through to the quarter finals

Jonathan Macpherson Sports Editor SALFORD MEN’S Football first team sailed through to the quarter finals of the BUCS cup after overcoming a limited Newcastle third side 4-2. Salford controlled the third round tie for large periods and had numerous chances to increase their margin of victory. Having thrashed Bradford’s third team 13-0 in the previous round, Salford went into this game in confident mood, but Captain Tony Wigham didn’t want any complacency to creep in. Wigham said: “After last week’s game I didn’t want to come out and think that we’d walk it.” And straight from the kick-off he got his wish. After only ten seconds on the clock, they had broken the deadlock through striker Lewis Copeland after a poor defensive clearance from Newcastle. Salford’s early goal knocked the stuffing

out of their north-east opponents and further poor defending from the away side gave Salford the chance to increase their lead through Copeland and fellow striker Morgan Lewis. A great cross came in from the right wing by Joe Nield but somehow no one got a touch to steer it into the net. Newcastle started to improve midway through the first half and were presented with numerous set-pieces allowing them a chance to draw level; but Salford’s defence held strong. Captain Tony Wigham then showed amazing skills on the edge of the area which deserved to be rewarded with a goal. After excellent build up play, the ball was received by Wigham who, after several kicks ups, turned the defender and volleyed his shot against the woodwork. Wigham said “I wanted to get on the score sheet but it just wouldn’t happen. When the ball hit the bar I couldn’t believe it. If I’d scored it probably would have been my best goal ever”.

Just before half time, Salford deservedly extended their lead through midfielder Tom Shutt who powered a header into the goal from a Wigham corner. Salford added to their tally early in the second half through striker Morgan Lewis after he latched onto a through ball and calmly slotted it past the keeper. After falling 3-0 behind, the second half proved to be a more even contest than the first, and Newcastle immediately reduced the deficit to 3-1. A great cross field pass found the Newcastle right midfielder in acres of space and he crossed in a great ball for midfielder Simon Murphy to score. That goal gave Newcastle the confidence to push for a second and some panicky defending in the Salford box from set pieces nearly made it possible. However, the game was made safe through another Tom Shutt header as he guided a long throw into the bottom corner of the net to make the score 4-1. There was still enough time for Newcastle to get another consolation goal

and, after Salford keeper Si Hardman was adjudged to have fouled a Newcastle player in the area, Simon Murphy converted from the penalty spot to make the final score 4-2. Captain Tony Wigham said “I was really pleased with the performance. We had to get the team going straight from the off and that very early goal was just what we wanted. “I’m really pleased with the whole team this year. We’ve got six freshers in this year and eight lads from the team last season which is a good mix.” With a number of standout performances within the Salford team, Wigham was struggling to pick out a man of the match. “If I had to pick one it would be Lewis Copeland. What we’ve been doing in training is getting him to hold the ball up so when we attack we have five or six players who have the chance to score. “He did today exactly what he’s been asked and got the goal he deserved.”

Student Direct - Issue 12  

Monday 14 December 2009

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