Love . . . Hearing or saying the word alone often evokes warm feelings, interest, and a sense of happiness for most people. Love is a wonderful power source. In fact, we are commanded to LIVE [abide] in the realm of love: loving God with all of our personhood and strength, while simultaneously loving ourselves, and extending it outward to all we come in contact with (Matt 22:37-39; Mark 12:29-31). What a powerful position, to be a beacon, a tabernacle of love, of goodness and godness to all we encounter. It’s so powerful and strong in nature that many struggle with learning to harness and maneuver it. However, we mustn’t give up on love because God is not a liar. He didn’t charge us to walk in a capacity that we weren’t capable of walking in. I believe that our being made, “in the image, after the likeness of God..” is indicative of the spiritual nature of being created in goodness, with goodness, and for goodness. The scripture tells us in 1 John 4:16 that, “God is love..” Contextually it is describing the undeniable goodness of God. He is the creator, the progenitor of good, “the father of lights”, the benefactor of all benefactors, he is ONLY good. So when the writer describes HIM as love, he’s speaking to his essence of beneficiality.
In Ephesians 2:10 Paul writes that, “we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to DO GOOD WORKS, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” It’s reasonable to estimate that it was always God’s desire for us, made in his likeness, to be consistent doers of good: to be love, or LOVERS. Remember love is multifaceted not just romantic, so welcome love and cultivate it greatly in your life.
In this issue we want to support your journey towards a life of love. We want to ignite some of you to return to your calling of love, we want to celebrate love itself and all its great qualities and types, we want to celebrate those who are on the road to great love doing the necessary preparations and heart work to love well, and we want to celebrate those who have mastered it. Let’s take the brakes off and lose ourselves in love! In 2025, let’s let love lead, and let love win. What amazing vessels of healing and hope we’d all be if we walked in the sphere of love continually. We really could heal the land with love. One of my greatest pieces of advice and encouragement is, “to season EVERYTHING with love!” Let’s sprinkle away until we see change, until we see manifestations of God in all the earth among men (mankind). Love big, love deep, and love always!
SADIRA DAVIS, Editor-in-Chief @starlambpress
A LOVE FOR ALL SEASONS: WISDOM’S CRY TO EMBRACE LOVE’S TIMELESS GIFT
Love is supposed to be a pillar of strength in every season and all the relationship types in your life. It’s the “all-purpose” piece of life.
SPECIAL FEATURE: BRAGGING RIGHTS
Get that body moving in celebration of all it can do.
A LOVE FOR ALL SEASONS: WISDOM’S CRY TO EMBRACE LOVE’S TIMELESS GIFT BEWARE OF LOVE TRAPS
Love WINS!
Be skillful in identifying red flags and guarding the treasures of your bountiful love.
Beloved Creation by Grammy nominated poet Ty Scott King
Lavish your body with nourishment and rest with a few quick meals worth sharing.
Things that can minister to your soul, body, or spirit.
Loving well starts with loving YOU, learn how to righteously protect the richness of your peace of mind.
Experts answer your most asked questions.
Pause. Take a moment. Have a little fun with our brain teasers.
SANIT SOURCE y
CONTRIBUTORS
Sanity Source is built around bringing a diverse array of opinions and experts to serve our woman readers of all walks. Currently, our amazing contributors vary each issue to bring you the most relevant content for the season. We are grateful for each of their perspectives.
ERICA TATUM-SHEADE
OWNER OF INTEGRATED MENTAL HEALTH ASSOCIATES
Erica Tatum-Sheade is a licensed clinical social worker, professional speaker, and owner of Integrated Mental Health Associates, located in Scottsdale, Arizona, who found her way to the desert after vowing never to experience another Detroit winter. Her focus is on helping girls and women find their voice and use it to create change in their world. Erica’s favorite way to do this is her G.E.M.S. (Girls Empowered, Motivated, and Strong) group that she leads several times a year, providing girls age 8-18 the opportunity to gain social skills, build character, and practice empowerment skills. When she’s not working to empower the next generation of female leaders, Erica is home with her husband, her three children, her 2 dogs, and her sulcata tortoise Stanley.
linktr.ee/Ejsheade | (480) 261-5015 | 8079 N. 85th Way
JULIE A. HUSBANDS
Founder & Ceo | Kingdom Citizens networK, LLC
Over the years Julie’s success has afforded her the opportunity to work with a diverse array of clients, including CEOs, directors, lawyers, architects, military personnel, interior decorators, clergy, musicians, Gospel artists, and the like. What they all recognized was Julie’s capacity to solve problems, especially during emergencies, maintain a high level of confidentiality, and provide superb customer service. In November 2015, these connections led to the launching of Kingdom Citizens Network, LLC (KCN), where Julie serves as its founder and CEO in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. While building KCN, Julie realized her passion for serving, encouraging, and pushing others. She developed her gift through partnership and collaboration with others one-on-one to help them accomplish their DREAMS!
In addition, she is a licensed, ordained minister, as well as a worship leader, speaker and Thrive Coach. She is also the host of “Boss Chick Shout Mondays,” held live on Face Book every second Monday of the month. Her latest Book Collaboration Project, of which she is a Co-Author, was released in December 2021, Owning Your Uniqueness – Your Voice Matters, by Visionary Tina Harmon. Her additional project, Kingdom Style Magazine, was launched January 27th, 2018, of which she is the Founder and Editor-in-Chief. The Magazine’s 7th Edition was released in the Spring of 2024. Email: Kingdomcitizensnetwork@gmail.com | IG: kingdomcitizensnetwork | Twitter: JewellsHD
INTERESTED IN WRITING A SUBMISSION?
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Indicate in the subject box which form you need: testimony criteria form or featured article criteria form and we will send that out.
OUR TEAM
This small team is committed to the effort of delivering the right message that speaks to each of our readers. We are excited to grow in the future!
The Sanity Source magazine is a wellspring of truth, testimony, and resource for women of all walks to thrive.
Contact us!
StarLambPress@gmail.com
SADIRA DAVIS | Editor-In-Chi E f Sadira is the founder and editor in chief for Sanity Source magazine. She has been instrumental in changing hundreds of lives over the years as an outspoken leader and life coach: healing, guiding, and setting souls free through ministry, coaching, leadership training, conferences, and multiple published works.
AARON GIBBS | Graphi C dE si G n E r Aaron is a talented creative that produces work from illustration to architectural building design with a passion for details.
Sanity Source c/o Sadira Davis PO Box 26832 Tempe, AZ 85285
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Before my heart’s first pulsation— You were there, loving and patient Making space among these vast nations —for me.
See—this love affair is divine Your Spirit is wrapped up in mine, Sacred. Outlasting the test of time.
I’m— caught up
In a romance that will always over fill my cup Love from the mountaintop To the valley’s lowest drop. When my faith starts to flop, You lift me up, non-stop!
This is not a regular love—
No, this is that Moses in the bush, burning all night long. This is that David with a harp, making weakness strong. This is that Mary at Your feet, knowing where she belongs. This is that Peter walking on water until his doubt proved him wrong, but You caught him anyway. Because You love long—eternity.
You pursued me like a lover through the streets because your grace will never cease. And every morning, I am grateful for the dawning of how Your new mercy greets—me.
I’m talking about Your love that be deeper than the ocean floor. That came knocking at my heart’s door. That had me shook to my core. That keeps loving me more and more.
And through sunshine and every downpour, You declare peace.
So let them speak— Call me crazy
‘Cause what we have will never cease to amaze me! No, ours is a love story written in my soul And I believe You’ll keep mending my pieces, making me whole.
That’s why I hold— to Your promises that have been in existence since before my first breath formation, before my heart’s first pulsation.
You have always been here, Patient. Consistent. No hesitation.
You will always love me— Your most beloved creation.
(cuddling, hand holding, nurturing touch, sensual, foreplay, sex)
experiential intimacy
(shared experiences, trying new things, routines, consistency, adventures, spontaneity)
A LOVE FOR ALL SEASONS
ARTICLE | JULIE HUSBANDS
Love—the word itself stirs something deep within us. It’s not just a fleeting feeling or a poetic notion reserved for romance; it’s a profound gift from God meant to touch every facet of our lives. As the seasons of life shift and change, so too does the expression of love. But its essence remains constant: love is meant to be celebrated, cherished, and shared.
The Anchor of All Love: God’s Unfailing Love
At the foundation of true love lies the unfailing, unconditional love of God. His love isn’t swayed by our shortcomings or circumstances. It is steadfast, unchanging, and sacrificial. When we anchor our hearts in God’s love, we experience a security and peace that cannot be shaken. This divine love reminds us that we are chosen, cherished, and never alone.
God’s love is the compass that points us to our worth and purpose. When life’s winters come—those seasons of hardship, disappointment, or loss—it is His love that sustains us. It whispers, “You are beloved,” even when the world seems cold and unkind. By receiving this love daily, we open our hearts to live from a place of overflow.
Wisdom’s Cry to Embrace Love’s Timeless Gift
Love Worth Protecting: Self-Love Rooted in Truth
Self-love often gets misconstrued as selfishness or vanity, but true self-love is a reflection of seeing ourselves through God’s eyes. It includes caring for the body through rest, nourishment, and movement, recognizing that tending to our physical self is just as important as nurturing our spiritual well-being.
It’s about honoring the temple God entrusted to us—mind, body, and soul—and living in alignment with His vision for our lives. This includes practical steps such as mindfulness practices to stay present, regular physical movement that strengthens and refreshes, and self-compassion that acknowledges our humanity and embraces grace when we face body image struggles or setbacks.
Self-love invites us to heal, grow, and be gentle with ourselves as we navigate life’s seasons. This includes soul care activities such as journaling to express gratitude and process emotions, daily prayer to reconnect with our Creator, and meditation to quiet our minds. These practices not only strengthen the soul but also provide a calming effect that nurtures both body and spirit. Whether you are in a springtime of new beginnings or an autumn of letting go, you are worthy of grace and celebration.
Love in Action: Loving Others Authentically
The way we love others reflects the condition of our hearts. When we are rooted in love— not fear, pride, or insecurity—we can give freely without expecting something in return. Whether it’s through small acts of kindness, intentional listening, or extending forgiveness, love in action transforms lives.
It’s important to remember that loving others also includes discernment. We must recognize the relationships that nourish us versus those that drain us. Healthy love sets boundaries, holds space for honesty, and seeks the highest good. Just as God’s love is both compassionate and just, our love for others should reflect both truth and grace.
Romantic Love: A Reflection of Divine Intention
Romantic love often takes center stage in conversations about love, but it’s meant to be a reflection of something greater. A Godhonoring relationship is built on mutual respect, vulnerability, and shared vision. It’s not about perfection, but about two individuals choosing to grow together through every season—the sunny days of joy and the stormy nights of uncertainty.
True romantic love points us back to the greatest love story ever told: Christ’s love for His bride, the Church. It’s a reminder that love isn’t just an emotion but a daily commitment. Whether you are single, dating, or married, remember that your worth isn’t tied to your relationship status. You are whole and worthy of love as you are.
Celebrating Love in Every Season
As we celebrate love in all its forms, let us remember that love is not confined to a single day or a singular relationship. It’s the thread that weaves beauty, meaning, and connection into our lives. Celebrate the friends who pray for you in silence, the family who cheers you on, and the quiet moments when you feel the presence of God surrounding you.
Take time to embrace the season you’re in and trust that love’s expression will meet you there. Love is patient enough to wait with you in winter and bold enough to bloom again in spring. Whether you are savoring a summer of abundance or learning to trust in autumn’s surrender, love’s gift remains.
Let your life be a testament to love’s resilience and beauty. Celebrate the miracle of being loved and the privilege of loving others. And above all, anchor yourself in the truth that you are already fully and completely loved by the One who orchestrates every season. In this truth, we find not just a reason to celebrate love, but the strength to live it every day.
PHILIA
DEEP FRIENDSHIP / BROTHERLY
A comradely love found in deep friendships. It's characterized by mutual understanding and goodness.
P GMA
LONGSTANDING LOVE
A practical, enduring love that's usually reserved for couples who have been together for many years.
STORGE
FAMILY LOVE
A familial love, or the bond you feel with your family, that comes from familiarity or dependency.
Types of Love
FRIENDSHIP
STORGE
FAMILIAR LOVE
A familial love, or the bond you feel with your family, that comes from familiarity or dependency.
SIGNIFICANT OTHER
E S
ROMANTIC LOVE
A passionate, romantic love that's often found in the early stages of a relationship. It's named after the Greek god of love and desire.
FAMILY
AGAPE
SELFLESS LOVE
A selfless, unconditional love that comes from the Greek language. In Thelemic practice, it's considered the highest form of love.
PHI UTIA LOVE OF THE SELF
Self-love, which the Greeks believed was important because you must love yourself before you can love others.
DUS PLAYFUL LOVE
A child-like, flirtatious love that's often found in the beginning stages of a relationship.
PHILIA
AFFECTIONATE LOVE
A comradely love found in deep friendships. It's characterized by mutual understanding and goodness.
Source: (AI, Overview - Google Dec 3, 2024)
ARTICLE | SADIRA DAVIS, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
spring into action
PHOTO
Three years ago I read a statement that set me free on so many levels. The saying was, “Exercise is a celebration of what your body can do, not punishment for what you ate.” From that time until now I have been honoring and celebrating
my body through its time of transformation: weight loss/gain, growing strength, plateaus, aches, pains and menopause change. I exercise more regularly now than at any time in my 50+ years. I’m so grateful that the stronghold was broken
off of my mind enabling me to cheerfully embrace body movement. For me working out looks more like stretching, Pilates, power walking, and an occasional aerobic workout video. I love them all, and I feel so good about it and myself when I take
the time to do it. So I want to encourage you to “spring into action!” Do not limit yourself to going to the gym, or to just taking a walk around your neighborhood. Be versatile! Here are some fresh ideas to get that body moving this spring.
HIKING
Walking nature trails and can sometimes include mountains or hilly terrain. Funny as it is, hiking has traditionally not been a popular form of exercise or hobby for African Americans, but it’s growing on many of us. Hiking strengthens your bones and muscles and improves your balance. Additionally, it’s very good for your heart and your head (mental health).
ROLLER SKATING
We all know roller skating! This is possibly my all time favorite “exercise” from my childhood as I wasn’t very active otherwise at all. Yet, we roller skated often with my dad. I’m a little nervous about falling at this age, but I plan to do it soon.
WATER AEROBICS
Is a form of exercises performed in water for low impact on joints but with the natural resistance of the water. Many community centers with pools offer classes.
These are just a few, often overlooked, ways to get moving, but the options are endless. No matter what you decide, just be grateful if you have the capability to move
PICKLEBALL
This is a paddle sport that is kind of like pingpong, tennis, and badminton combined and played on a court with a net. I’ve never tried it but I’m interested.
SPIN
Riding a stationary bike indoors often to upbeat music. I had the opportunity of taking a spin class this past year and it was empowering. I’d love to say “fun” but that would be a stretch. LOL. I enjoyed the fact that I was able to finish the class. Conquering a challenge alway has rewards, but it wasn’t easy. Needless to say, I want to go back. It’s one of those things that just requires a building of endurance.
BOXING
The famous 1976 movie “Rocky” had many of us become fans of boxing. It’s a brutal career, but boxing for exercise can be a great way to burn off stress and calories while strengthening your coordination.
your body on your own and are not bedridden. Do something as an act of gratefulness for the body that has been with you and carried you for however many years of your life.
I intend to hang around at least 30 more years so I’m going to keep moving and taking great care of this earth suit of mine. #MOVE
Nah girl - You have what it takes. Stand in that. Own that. Believe that. Trust that. Lean into that.
source: @herpowerdose
PHOTO
| VANESSA KINTAUDI
ALL YOU CAN EAT
Whether you are dining solo or as a couple madly in love here’s an easy two course meal menu: entree, dessert, and a sexy virgin spritzer. Food that fuels the body and the soul. Enjoy!
recipe credit - love & lemons
Herb & Garlic Mushroom Pasta
INGREDIENTS
• 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, plus more for drizzling
• 1 pound mixed mushrooms, torn or sliced
• ¾ teaspoon sea salt, plus more to taste
• Freshly ground black pepper
• 8 ounces pappardelle pasta
• 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 2 shallots, chopped (2/3 cup)
• 2 teaspoons chopped fresh rosemary or fresh thyme leaves
• 2 garlic cloves, grated
• 1/3 cup dry white wine
• 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
• 1/3 cup grated Parmesan or pecorino cheese, plus more for serving
• 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
• Chopped fresh parsley, for garnish
DIRECTIONS
Step One
Heat 1 tablespoon of the olive oil in a large cast iron skillet over mediumhigh heat. Add half the mushrooms, ¼ teaspoon of the salt, and several grinds of pepper and toss. Cook, stirring only occasionally, for 5 to 8 minutes, or until soft and browned. Remove from the skillet and set aside. Add the remaining 1 tablespoon olive oil to the skillet and repeat the cooking process with the remaining mushrooms.
Step Two Step Three Step Four
Meanwhile, bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Prepare the pasta according to the package directions, cooking until al dente. Reserve 1 cup of the pasta cooking water before draining. Drain the pasta and toss it with a drizzle of olive oil to prevent sticking.
Allow the pasta pot to cool slightly and return it to the stove. Add the butter and heat over medium heat until melted, then add the shallots and the remaining ¼ teaspoon salt and cook, stirring, for 3 to 5 minutes, or until translucent. Stir in the rosemary and garlic. Add the wine and Dijon mustard and let the wine cook down for 30 seconds.
Add the pasta, cheese, and ¼ cup of the pasta water and toss, adding more pasta water as needed to lightly coat the pasta. Stir in the lemon juice, then fold in the mushrooms. Sprinkle with parsley and season to taste. Serve with more grated cheese.
recipe credit - love & lemons
sun dried tomato pasta with kale
INGREDIENTS
• 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, more for drizzling
• 3 shallots, thinly sliced
• 1 large fennel bulb, thinly sliced
• 3 garlic cloves, sliced
• ¼ teaspoon red pepper flakes
• ¼ cup chopped sage
• 12-ounces toscani pasta (or any short pasta)
• ¼ cup dry white wine
• 8 cups torn kale leaves
• 8 oil-packed sun-dried tomatoes, chopped
• ¼ cup chopped walnuts, toasted
• 2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
• Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
• Freshly grated pecorino cheese, for serving
DIRECTIONS
Step One Step Two Step Three Step Four
Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add the shallots, fennel, garlic, red pepper flakes, sage, ½ teaspoon salt, and freshly ground black pepper and cook until the fennel is tender, about 8 minutes.
Meanwhile, bring a large pot of salted water to a boil and cook the pasta until al dente.
To the skillet, add the white wine and let it reduce for 30 seconds. Then, reduce the heat to low, add the kale and toss until just wilted. Use a slotted spoon to scoop the cooked pasta into the skillet. Add the sundried tomatoes, walnuts, and lemon juice and toss.
Finally, season to taste and serve with generous drizzles of olive oil and freshly grated pecorino cheese.
red velvet 7-layer bars
recipe credit - deborah harroun, the red velvet lover's cookbook
• 1/2 cup (8 Tbsp; 113g) unsalted butter, softened to room temperature
• 3/4 cup (150g) granulated sugar
• 1 large egg
• 1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 1 Tablespoon (15ml) liquid red food coloring
• 1 and 1/3 cups (120g) sweetened shredded coconut*
• 1 cup (180g) semi-sweet chocolate chips*
• 1/2 cup (90g) white chocolate chips
• 1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
• 1 cup (130g) chopped pecans
DIRECTIONS
Step One
Set your oven rack to the center position and preheat oven to 350°F (177°C). Line the bottom and sides of a 9×13-inch baking pan or 11×7-inch baking pan* with aluminum foil (or use parchment), leaving an overhang on all sides. Set aside.
Step Two Step Three
Whisk the flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, and salt together in a large bowl until combined. Set aside.
Wash it all down with a fizzy, refreshing mocktail with Surely sauvignon blanc non-alcoholic wine alternative.
• 1 bottle Surely Sauvignon Blanc
• 2 tablespoons lemon juice
• 4 ounces lemon-lime soda (Zevia)
• Rosemary and lemon slices
1. Pour 4 ounces of Surely Sauvignon Blanc into each wine glass.*
2. Add 1 tablespoon lemon juice.
3. Top with 2 ounces of Zevia.
4. Garnish with fresh lemon slices and rosemary sprigs, if desired.
In a large bowl using a handheld mixer or stand mixer with paddle attachment, beat the butter for 1 minute on medium speed until completely smooth and creamy. Add the granulated sugar and beat on medium high speed until fluffy and light in color. Beat in egg and vanilla on high speed until combined. Scrape down the sides and bottom of the bowl as needed. Beat in the food coloring until combined. With the mixer running on low speed, slowly mix the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients until combined. The red velvet dough will be quite thick and sticky.
Step Four
Using a silicone spatula, spread dough in an even layer into the prepared baking pan. It’s very sticky, so take your time pushing it to each corner of the pan. Bake for 8 minutes. Remove from the oven and leave the oven on.
Step Five
Sprinkle the coconut over the cookie layer, followed by the chocolate chips, then the white chocolate chips. Pour the sweetened condensed milk evenly over the top. Sprinkle with pecans. Bake until set, about 25 minutes.* Cool on a rack for at least 2 hours before cutting into squares.
True love is about seeing other's flaws and still believing you're stronger together.
MY ENDLESS LOVE,
a story of
In our “Bragging Rights” corner we always look for testimonies that declare and display God’s amazing power and grace to encourage others. We look for situations that remind us that no matter how bad things look there is HOPE with God. This story, and the interview, exceeded my expectations, and is the feature article of this issue. This is a special story, a story of restoration, reconciliation, and a rise to destiny. I am so honored to have sat and listened at great length to the details of God’s hand moving in the lives of this wonderful couple, the Perrys. I pray that I can share it in a way that captures the essence, the best of it, to bless you.
(The story has been condensed in order to highlight some of the greatest lessons from it, and they are not the exact words of those interviewed.)
A HOSPITAL IS FOR HEALING
Kermit is a “man’s man” ; he grew up in Crenshaw without a dad present for the greater part of his youth. After high school he joined the Air Force and began drinking to cope with the lonely nights. Kermit’s father was an electrician, and an alcoholic, and he eventually followed in his footsteps. In September 1975 God had a plan to heal two broken people and use them as a testimony of both his magnificent healing and his resurrecting power. It was a rainy day, but still exciting as it was the first day of the new job for Sandy who was a registered nurse. Kermit was working at this very hospital as an electrician, the first black one might I add, working at Huntington Memorial Hospital in Pasadena, CA. Their meeting was not a coincidence, but a divine meeting.
Was it “love at first sight” “two spirits colliding in time by God’s predestined design?” I can’t say precisely, but the story goes that they were married in December 1975, and were somewhat inseparable from that initial meeting. Both parties had their own encounters with church prior to marriage, but neither of them was born again so the inevitable happened. Divorce. After 16 months of being wed and bumping up against the unfinished product of Kermit’s soul Sandy decided she was unwilling to remain married for what looked like the difficult marriage she observed with her grandparents. Kermit’s drinking, and their inability to have healthy communication and conflict resolution was frustrating the marriage unbearably. They had the house, the cars, the stuff, but they didn’t have Jesus. Jesus is the strong thread in “the 3-fold cord that’s not easily broken (Ecc 4:12).”
Finding Strong Love: Jesus The Lover of Our Souls
After divorce, Kermit left that hospital job because he couldn’t bear to see Sandy and not be married to her. Sandy moved back home with her mom and step-dad for a short time but they were headed for divorce and so that arrangement didn’t last long. She was in a vulnerable position: newly divorced,
bombarded with divorce around her and she was being drawn to the church. About 4 months after her divorce in April she got saved (born-again) in August 1977. Interesting that the 8th month was in fact slated to be a very “new beginning”, not just for her but for her ex-husband and their dissolved marriage. The couple weren’t really interacting much. Divorce is hard. Sandy was trying to move on to avoid engaging with Kermit, and he was battling his emotions of distraught with drinking. Yet, the Holy Spirit was preparing to move on both of their hearts to bring them into a new and better covenant with the Lord Jesus Christ.
As Sandy prepared to make her public declaration of Christ she had decided to ask Kermit to come support her at church that day. After the service the pastors took them out to dinner, and began sowing seeds about them reconciling. Nothing happened right away, and Kermit continued to drink heavily. During these bouts of drinking he began having experiences with both the enemy, Satan, and the Holy Spirit speaking to him. The enemy was trying to tell him to do bad things, and the Holy Spirit would be telling him not to do it. The Holy Spirit also reminded him that Sandy had said that she wasn’t going to marry anybody not saved. He felt like there was so much chaos in his head and maybe Sandy could help him sort it out. Even though he and Sandy had been divorced about 3yrs, Kermit heard the Holy Spirit say call your wife. So he did. To Sandy’s surprise, upon hearing him tell her about these spiritual encounters, she blurted out “why don’t you just come over and you can share more about what’s been going on.” She knew it was the Holy Spirit who spoke through her because she had been very intentional not to allow him to know where she was living. However, when she opened the door upon his arrival she immediately felt the attraction to her husband sweep over her. He was still fine, and there was still love and concern in her heart towards him! This “meet-up” began a whole new love affair centered around learning about Jesus’ great love for them AND talking out and understanding where they had gone wrong in their marriage.
Kermit began attending church with Sandy. Yet, there were still distractions. A friend had wanted Kermit to meet a new lady, but he too was still in love with Sandy.
Destiny Is Fueled By Healing
With all the intentional conversations of their failures and what a healthy marriage would look like the two began planning a wedding for remarriage around October 1979. What? Yes! Despite what they had been through, God was at work. They were attending church regularly, hearing the word of God consistently, and being “renewed in the spirit of their minds (Eph 4:23)” in preparation for a new season. On January 5, 1980 Kermit & Sandy were reunited in holy matrimony. This time God was at the helm and they were committed to continue on their journey of healing, repentance, and full restoration.
Let me backtrack for a minute to insert one truth about following God and moving towards your destiny. The enemy will ALWAYS send attacks to see if he can thwart the plan of God for you. On their wedding day the enemy tried to torment Sandy with thoughts that maybe Kermit was doing this to get revenge on her and was planning to stand her up at the altar. Kermit was leaving his apartment to head to the church for the wedding and a woman in his apartment building came running out saying “you don’t have to do this, don’t get married, we can leave here together.” Demons at work! Nevertheless, they both withstood the attacks of the enemy and said their “I Dos” that day. During the honeymoon Kermit gave space for Sandy to ask him anything she wanted to know about the 2 almost 3 yrs they were separated/divorced. After that discussion they vowed to never revisit the past. What a powerful uniting!
To date Kermit & Sandy attest that they never argue or have “intense fellowship”. No yelling, no fussing, no cussing at all. They communicate and assess the problem and they give it to God, and they readily affirm to each other that they mean each other no harm. They recognize that their vows, commitment and word are above everything else.
The Icing On The Cake: God’s Grand Plan
Of course before and once married they remained committed to their new covenant with the Lord, and they faithfully served in the ministries that God had connected them to. As a Deacon Kermit served well, and in 1989 he started dreaming about preaching. At some point the Holy Spirit also brought to his remembrance of a prophetic word back from 1967 by his cousin that he’d be a preacher. In 1990 Kermit was ordained as a minister, and then served as an assistant pastor for over 20yrs. In May of 2011 God began to speak about them shifting out to do the work He’d called him to, and in November of that same year he announced it to the church at large and formally resigned. From February of 2012 until January of 2013 they served the Lord through their ministry: 3Ps Christian Ministry, 3Ps stands for prayer, praise, and proclamation. In obedience to the scripture, “when you are converted strengthen the brethren (Luke 22:32)” the Perrys have done couples conferences and retreats and brought healing to many marriages in the name of Jesus. They know of two couples specifically that have actually reconciled as they did from their story. This year the Perrys have celebrated 45 yrs of marriage, what a testimony! Truly they’ve got “Bragging Rights.”
Kermit & Sandy Perry are the proud parents of 2 daughters and 2 granddaughters. They continue to do ministry for the Lord and help couples to come to know the strong cord, the “true vine” the Lord Jesus Christ. They can be reached for ministry engagements at their website www.3psministries.org or 3PsMinistries@gmail.com.
by Ebony Walker
ASK THE EXPERTS
ARE
YOU READY TO PUBLISH A BOOK BUT LACK ADEQUATE TIME TO ACTUALLY WRITE?
A:
Contrary to popular belief, hiring a ghostwriter is the best decision for busy aspiring authors and speakers. Writing a book is a powerful way to establish credibility, share your story, and impact lives. However, many aspiring authors— especially professionals, entrepreneurs, ministry leaders, and people like you—may struggle to find the time, clarity, or expertise to bring their ideas to life. This is where a skilled ghostwriter comes in.
As an expert ghostwriter, I’ve worked with countless clients who had the vision but needed the right partner to execute it. If you’re considering writing a book but aren’t sure if hiring a ghostwriter is the right move, here are five key questions (and answers) to help you decide.
+Ebony M. Walker –known as “Ebony The Provoker – is a Prophet, Speaker, Author, Ghostwriter, and Entrepreneur dedicated to equipping Christian audiences with the faith and strategy needed to thrive in the marketplace. As the CEO of Walk UpWrite and Founder of What’s Next Strategy Consulting, she helps high-caliber professionals transform their experiences into impactful books, speeches, and business resources.
Overcoming personal trials through faith, Ebony stands on Romans 8:28, believing that every challenge is a setup for God’s greater purpose. To connect further, visit www. ebonymwalker.info
QWhat exactly does a ghostwriter do??
A ghostwriter is a professional writer who takes your ideas, stories, and expertise and turns them into a compelling book while ensuring it still sounds like you. They handle everything from research and structuring to writing and refining the manuscript. The goal is to bring your book to life without you having to spend months (or years) struggling through the process alone.
How do I know if I need a ghostwriter?
If you find yourself in any of these situations, a ghostwriter could be a gamechanger for you:
• You have valuable knowledge or a great story but no time to write it.
Will my book still sound like me?
Q A A A A A A
• You struggle with organizing your ideas or maintaining consistency.
• You’ve started writing but feel stuck or overwhelmed.
• You want a high-quality book that positions you as an authority but you lack writing experience.
• A ghostwriter helps bridge the gap between your vision and a finished, polished book.
Absolutely! A skilled ghostwriter spends time listening to you, conversing with you, and learning your language. They become dedicated to capturing your unique voice, tone, and message. Through interviews, conversations, and research, they ensure the final book reflects your personality, expertise, and values. Readers will feel as if you wrote every word yourself and will have no reason to think otherwise.
Q Q Q
Is ghostwriting just for books or can other things be ghostwritten?
Great question! When most people think of a ghostwriter, they consider the music industry only. However, ghostwriters are used for a plethora of things. From books to social media content, from speeches to powerpoint presentations, from LinkedIn articles to email and text marketing campaigns – all of these types of media and communication can be ghostwritten.
How much time will I need to invest if I hire a ghostwriter?
One of the biggest benefits of working with a ghostwriter is that it saves you time. Rather than spending hundreds of hours writing, you’ll collaborate through strategic meetings, provide key insights, and review drafts. The process is tailored to fit your schedule, making it possible for busy professionals to become published authors without disrupting their daily responsibilities.
Q
Isn’t hiring a ghostwriter expensive?
Hiring a ghostwriter is an investment, not an expense. And yes, there’s a difference. Your book can open doors to speaking engagements, media opportunities, business growth, and increased credibility. If writing a book could elevate your brand, attract new clients, build your ministry, or position you as an expert in your field, then the return on investment far outweighs the cost. Plus, many ghostwriters offer flexible options to fit different budgets.
BEWARE OF LOVE
TRAPS
You
might as well bang your head into a brick wall if you expect the narcissist to be reasonable, empathetic, or human in any way
(Neuharth, Psych Central, Aug 15, 2017).
BEWARE OF LOVE TRAPS
ARTICLE | SADIRA DAVIS, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
Love is a universal language, and both desired and needed by all. There’s nobody on the earth who doesn’t want or need love, it’s like water we need it to live. God made us to need it. We don’t just need or desire romantic love, but we need all the different types of love: storge (family love), philia (friendship love), eros (romantic love), and agape (god-kind/ selfless love). However, our propensity to both give and receive love requires that we are intentional about vetting those who are postured to love us. In our formative years we are open and receptive without much scrutiny as our expectation is that family and family friends will be kind and loving towards us, and unfortunately that’s not always the case. Yet
as we grow in age and in knowledge of God’s word we understand that we are to “guard our hearts with all diligence… (Prov 4:23)” and we learn that “satan disguises himself as an angel of light (2Cor.11:14)” in the image as one who is supposedly good. Learning how to identify “love traps” “fake love” and narcissistic and other abusive behaviors is very important no matter the love source.
lovetraps lovetraps lovetraps
I want to share some key identifiers, aka “red flags” to beware of, as well as a couple of great resources for further insight. Of course, we know that many people have become excessive users of the term ‘narcissists’ labeling everyone that offends them as such, which is just not accurate. Many studies assert that we all have some “narcissistic tendencies” that persist especially and more prominently in our formative years of development. Now, I am not a professional psychologist, however I have studied human behavior extensively over the years and unfortunately I am also a survivor of narcissistic abuse. Although the concept of NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) dates back to the beginning of time with Satan’s exaggerated sense of himself and manipulative ways, it has only been classified in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) as a mental disorder since 1980. I share the “newness” of the broadened understanding of pathological narcissism so we can truly grasp how elusive the spiritual tactics of Satan have been to the sciences. We also know God’s deliverance has drawn nearer to many due to the availability of this new knowledge. Before I go on to share the things to beware of, or “red flags”, I do want to recommend a book that is highly accurate but more spiritual than science-y, and presents these earmarks in layman’s terms. In my opinion it should be a required read for all Christian believers. “Me My Mine! Biblical Perspectives on Recognizing and Surviving Narcissistic Abuse” by RC Blakes, Jr. published in 2020 was excellently written. It is so accurate, and conveys many intricacies in a way that can lend insight to others that is often hard for victims to articulate about their experience. Additionally, it gives strategies to navigate through the destructive behavior.
All forms of abuse, and more specifically “intimate partner abuse,” share some elements of these emotional manipulation tactics. The goal of them all is control. The abusive approaches are the following: emotional, physical, sexual, financial, and/or spiritual. What are we looking for? Let’s get to it…
GROOMING
This is one of the hardest identifiers because we all would like to believe that we can’t be duped, but it’s not that simple. Abusers are calculated in “winning” or subtly “grooming” you. They take time to study, and learn what you like, what you need, your vulnerabilities, insecurities and fears and then later leverage them manipulatively against you. They “mirror” or mimic things you’ve shared in a way that presents a false sense of care, concern, empathy, and trustworthiness.
ISOLATION
It is not an immediate thing but casually and under the guise of building an exclusive intimate relationship with them, they slowly cause you to abandon or at least temporarily neglect your healthy and safe relationships. They may identify you as their “soul-mate” and tout a unique closeness and sense of attachment with the idea that you all must guard or protect it. Thereby keeping others out of it. Yes, in a healthy marriage you should keep people out of it, but you must have some accountability persons: a safety circle.
LOVE BOMBING
This is a strategy to “overwhelm” you with affections, praise, quality time, gifts, shared interests, “love” in whatever ways they’ve identified as most desired by you in the grooming phase, etc. It will also include lots of communication, or rather absorption of your time and mental space. This tactic of filling your heart and mind (soul) is calculated and intentional to drown out your normal reasoning abilities. It’s the first stage of the “coup (an overthrow/seizure)” of your personhood. Which eventually leads to the next one.
GASLIGHTING
This is when the abuser uses “mental magic” or bewitchment. They try to convince you of a false narrative but swear that it is true and that you are either not remembering correctly and/or something is wrong with you. It’s a sowing of confusion and self-doubt. This is very much what Satan did to Eve in the garden. It’s designed to eventually cause you to “lose your mind” and be under their full control. It’s “soul-sucking”. It empowers them while weakening you.
lovelovelovelovetrapslovelove
STONEWALLING / COLD SHOULDERING
Stonewalling/Cold Shouldering: This is where the abuser shifts the focus onto themselves by now “punishing” the victim by refusing to communicate with them. They switch it up, turning themselves into the “victim” and then treat the actual victim as if they did something wrong. This tends to be so effective because most victims of abuse are highly empathetic people. So they are baited and generally move to take the blame and seek to be reconciling with the abuser. It’s a sick cycle that is emotionally exhausting.
At this point the upper hand is fully established and the abuser will continually cycle through all these stages again and again as they attempt to kill the victim (emotionally, spiritually, physically, etc). They will love bomb again during an apology coupled with gaslighting and claims of misunderstanding and confusion. The manipulation is so strong and deceptive. Please understand the spiritual strength gained when someone is operating under this demonic sourcing. It’s not a simple natural “common sense” type issue. It’s highly demonically empowered, again bewitchment at its highest. Additionally, keep in mind that Satan ALWAYS has truth muddled with lies. Hence, many of these tactics bear some truth within healthy wholesome relationships which is why it’s so diabolical. It’s the motive and manipulation that corrupts it and makes it evil.
lovetraps lovetraps lovetraps
Best advice, do not “fall” in love. Love soberly, thinking clearly, not even positioning yourself to become overly emotionally attached before significant vetting. Guard your heart! Have a solid support system of those who will also legitimately vet any potential partner, and MOVE SLOW!! If it’s real love it’s worth the wait, and there’s no harm in being safe. Most narcissists and other abusers often never get diagnosed as they don’t see anything wrong with themselves. Data gained from those who have been abused and sought therapeutic support show that up to 50% of victims have ongoing symptoms of that abusive relationship even after they’ve moved on (AI Google, Jan 19,2025). To date the best and universal advice in dealing with abusers is to have no contact if no children are involved. Safety is priceless!
Healthy love doesn’t hurt or leave you broken and discombobulated! Love well, but love wise.
Rushing intimacy - soul mate scam
Charming
Status oriented
Behavior never changes
Chronic lying
Reckless and impulsive
HOW THEY ACT PATTERNS TO WATCH FOR
You have a feeling something is wrong
Lots of crazy people in their past
Concern for public image
No regard for rules or laws
Never apologizes
Demands trust
Fragmented relationships
Makes up excuses
Poor financial management
Cheating
You feel you might be in danger
Projecting
Confusion - story changes
Intrusive & controlling
Isolation
Anger when confronted
Double standards
Alcohol and drug use
No responsibilityblame others
Acts different in public and private
Lives in a fantasy world
Distorts facts to suit their needs
Provokes and then blames
Condescending
Always the victim
lovelovelovelovetrapslovelove
Doesn’t have long term friends
Might not have a relationship with their family
Twist your words in arguments
Source: Narcissist Abuse Support
eight
GEMS OF WISDOM
In romantic pursuits (dating), allow those opportunities of sharing time and space with someone add to your life, even if it doesn’t evolve into a long-term or permanent relationship. When we are
one day leave the party never to return. Inauthenticity sabotages the potential of an amazing connection with your true purpose partner. The last thing you need is the counterfeit which will “connect” well garner the love of many.
The Ultimate Act:
Self-Love
Your Peace Is Worth Protecting. No matter how chaotic the world may seem, your peace is your power. Your well-being is not negotiable. Love yourself enough to choose peace—every single day.
Erica Tatum-Sheade is a licensed clinical social worker, professional speaker, and owner of Integrated Mental Health Associates, located in Scottsdale, Arizona, who found her way to the desert after vowing never to experience another Detroit winter. Her focus is on helping girls and women find their voice and use it to create change in their world.
Before I step into the office, there is a short moment when I sit quietly in my car to mentally prepare myself for what awaits me when I walk in the door of my practice. Whenever a new referral lands in my inbox, there is a long moment of uncertainty as I click to open the file. “What story is about to unfold in front of me?” “Will I be able to assist this person?” “Can I handle it?”. When the phone rings at an odd hour or the breaking news title flashes on the screen, that pit in my stomach starts to grow. It’s inevitable that any time there is something new or unexpected placed in front of
us, we will experience a temporary moment of uncertainty. For some of us, this moment may last longer and start to impact other areas of our lives.
We live in a world of the 24-hour news and information cycle, and in a world that never slows down –where responsibilities pile up and demands seem endless. Protecting your peace is not just a luxury in this type of world—it’s a necessity. For women, we often carry the weight of multiple roles— caretaker, professional, friend, partner, daughter—sometimes forgetting that the most important relationship we have is with ourselves. In times of uncertainty,
Protecting Your Peace in Times of Uncertainty
Erica Tatum-Sheade
whether external or internal, prioritizing self-love is essential to maintaining balance and resilience.
The ancient Greek philosopher Heraclitus once said, “The only constant in life is change.” This means that our task in life is to manage change in whatever form it comes. If we are lucky, we can anticipate the change and have time to prepare. But more often than not, we are faced with uncertainty and left to manage navigating unfamiliar territory with little to no direction.
So how do we ensure that we are protecting our peace in times of uncertainty?
“JOY COMES IN THE MORNING”
In the grand scheme of things, we have very little control over what happens in the world around us. What we do have control over is how we start the day. Establishing a consistent routine first thing in the morning helps to set the tone for how the rest of our day is going to go. Creating the daily habit of centering yourself by meditation, journaling, reading, or setting aside time to set intentions for the day can give us the confidence to face the day. I start each day with a daily affirmation and I utilize a guided journal that provides words of wisdom that helps me focus on creating a day filled with growth opportunities. This simple task, that takes no more than 10 minutes of my day, shifts the entire day for me.
Ways to Practice This
◊ Purchase a journal, whether guided or not, find a space that you can dedicate just to yourself, and write;
◊ Dedicate yourself to reading – and ensure that one book a month on your reading list be focused on self-improvement;
◊ Use daily affirmations – if you struggle to create your own, purchase a deck of affirmations that you can draw from each day.
“BE STILL”
One important aspect of protecting our peace is to avoid the noise. Setting boundaries and limits on what information we consume limits what negative thoughts take up space in our head. Practicing stillness in chaotic and uncertain times presents us with an opportunity to get clear on our purpose and our calling. Prentis Hemphill said, “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.” Boundaries are not just physical, but emotional and psychological too. Being still long enough to reflect on setting boundaries around what we consume and with whom we spend time provides the clarity needed to be able to tune out the distractions of the world and focus on aligning with our calling and purpose.
When focused on avoiding people who may be creating the noise in our lives, this includes ourselves.
Yes, ourselves!
Very often, the noise challenging our peace is our own limiting beliefs. Negative self-talk, fear, and lack of faith in our abilities is noise that often causes us to feel overwhelmed and unable to move forward. The busier we become, the more likely we are to fall victim to limiting beliefs about ourselves.
Ways To Practice This
◊ Start saying no – if it does not serve you or move you further down the path you are walking, the answer is no;
◊ Challenge negative thought patterns with what is true. Spending time in contemplation, focused on listening deeply to our inner voice, helps us to truly see the gifts we have been given. Understanding who we are and what our purpose is becomes the truth that we need in order to challenge negative thoughts;
◊ Write “My Name Is” at the top of a piece of paper, and list what you know is true about yourself. Revisit this list any time the noise is too loud and blocking your calling, reflecting (daily if needed) on who you are called to be.
PHOTO
“LOVE IS PATIENT”
By giving ourselves grace and practicing self-love, we are reminding ourselves that we are loved, and that we are worthy. Very often in a hectic world, we put ourselves on the back burner and start to neglect our own needs. No matter how you turn it, you can’t pour from an empty cup. The more we pour into ourselves and remind ourselves that not only are we loved but that we are love, it creates feelings of joy and accomplishment. The more we fill our own cup, the more we have to give not just to ourselves, but to others around us. When our cup overflows with joy and abundance, we are able to share that with all that we meet without depleting ourselves. This creates a world filled with peace and good.
Ways to Practice This
◊ Indulge in things that make you happy. Whether it’s a favorite hobby, a long bath, or listening to music that lifts your spirit, do things just for the joy of it;
◊ Forgive yourself. Let go of guilt over past mistakes or not meeting unrealistic expectations. You are human, and growth comes from grace, not self-punishment.
“WHERE TWO OR MORE ARE GATHERED”
One of the biggest ways to ensure that we are protecting our peace is to ensure that we have a community of peace-keepers surrounding us. The energy around us plays a major role in our peace, so choose your company wisely. It has been said that we adopt the characteristics of the 5 people we spend the most time with, so it’s important to make sure that those to whom we are devoting our time are also on the same journey that we are on. Human beings are wired for connection, with the goal of finding a sense of belonging. True belonging happens when we are free to be (and to celebrate) our fully authentic self. If we are not surrounding ourselves with people who celebrate us just as we are, we start to settle into feelings of disconnection and resentment. Finding a community of people that is reflective of our values and morals not only works to reaffirm who we believe we are, but provides us with a supportive network who “gets it” and can be there when we start to waver.
Ways To Practice This
◊ Surround yourself with people who uplift you. Be around those who pour love, encouragement, and positivity into your life;
◊ Do a values sort. Get clear on what’s important to you and then evaluate the spaces you are in. Do they align? Are they helping you grow? What needs to shift?
Love when you’re READY,
you’re LONELY not when
Selah Moment
{Intentional Pause for Reflection}
Pause. Take a moment. Have a little fun.
Guess that phrase.
Hint: 1 Corinthians 13
Missing: OARSALHIN
Missing: BIEELLHNGS
Missing: HOELTNGS
Missing: NDESALLHIGS
&Prayers Affirmations
Let love bloom freely
God our God how excellent is your name in all the earth, marvelous are you in all your ways and works… AND you LOVE ME, and are mindful of me. Lord may I surrender to your love fully and let love have free course in my life. May I love you wholly: heart, mind, soul, and strength. May I love you with my decisions and with my resources. May I love you on days when I can’t feel you or trace you working in my life. May love be an ever blooming force of life in me, growing and flowing from me to you, and from you to me, and from me to others. Let the source of LOVE be a never ending river flowing in my life, transforming me continually until I look and act more like Jesus. Use me as a vessel of love on the earth.
According to 1Corinthians 13:13, “so now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” Help us to embrace love, cultivate love, and utilize love in all things. For you are love… May our love be made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as [you are], so are we [to be] in this world (1John 4:17).
I am LOVE kissed by God.
I am CHOSEN for love.
I am a lover of GOOD. I am BUILT for love.
Love is my portion, and love is my position.
“Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another (1John 4:11 KJV).”
“And this I pray, that [you let] love abound more and more in real knowledge and in practical insight (Phil 1:9 KJV).”
“Also to you, O Lord, belong loving kindness and compassion, For you compensate every man according to [the value of] his work (Psalm 62:12 AMP).”
