university high school | senior edition | june 2014
Editor’s Note Hey guys; Welcome to this hectic senior edition/ approximation of a JCL publicae. These notes are usually places where editors wax eloquent about heartfelt reminisces of the school year, ending with a pithy observation/motivational message- go seize the day, wherever you end up! This note is far more utilitarian. It’s here to warn you of what’s coming: inside jokes, dimples, and more than one hairy nostril. But that’s what probably makes it so much better. So go ahead, enjoy this haphazard pamphlet for all its stale jokes (whale, anyone? shroom, anyone? 2390, anyone? Does this thing even contain a joke from anytime after 2009?) and parodic writings.
8 REASONS WHY: Hunter Craft Deserves to be JCL Member of the Month 1. His pneumonia is now old news. <3 2. He is our almighty ASB president. All hail. He has done so much. 3. Hunter is love, Hunter is life. 4. Despite his losing streak the last few issues (not to mention a complete lack of a Member of the Month this year… Publicaes, we’re looking at you.), he’s had a history of winning this. 5. Kale has been very trendy recently, and he’s headed there next year. 6. His colourless green ideas CAN sleep furiously. 7. Did you even go to Festival of the Absurd? 8. Because I said so. Congratulations, Hunter! You’re the June 2014 JCL Member of the Month!
Some things are just so bad they’re good. Also, I wanted to have my signature on something.
And now, for the JCL Member of the Year standings. This is based off of the number of Member of the Month awards that each member has received throughout the year: My, would you look at that! He’s Member of the Year too, be-
Sarah Sukardi Editor-in-Grief Ex-Historian
Crecits: Writers: Patrick Su, Thomas Gui Front Cover: Preston Carroll Back Cover, Layout: Sarah Sukardi
cause we haven’t actually had a Member of the Month this year! Great job, Hunter! As a consolation prize, BJ will get the thirst place award: And none for Thomas Gui bye.
BY THE NUMBERS;
3 Jokes ONLY JCL Members Would Understand 1. “Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo” 2. “Semper ubi sub ubi” 3. “Grumio ancillam delectat”
6 Incredible Facts About Mr. Davis’ Room 1. There’s a pasted face in one of the class pictures behind Davis’ desk. Scissors and glue are the poor man’s Photoshop. 2. If you look very carefully at the walls of the classroom, you might just find Kotaro’s face. Mr. Smay’s face is up there somewhere as well! 3. That couch was donated by the Class of 2013! His old couch is now in Mich’s room; before that, it belonged to the Soreys. 4. Have you ever noticed the Davis memes placed throughout the room? They were hilarious created by this year’s wonderful historians, Tiffany Huang and Sarah Sukardi! 5. The oldest plaques of CJCL board members and UHCJCL consuls are older than we are! 6. There are at least 4 rubber bands in the air duct further from the door.
10 Reasons Why Thomas Gui was the Best Consul There Ever Was* (by Patrick Su) 1. He’s attractive as hell. Look at those dimples. Unf. 2. His brother, esteemed CJCL Parliamentarian James Gui, is only marginally better than him. Ten index points? I’m fine with that. 3. Water slides at Journey? Yes. 4. “Publicity, pub-publicity.” 5. “A+ Latin 3, not a junior yet.” (Alright, I’ll stop with the lyrics now.) 6. His fits were so sick, I’m thinking about vaccinating my children. And believe me, I am a die-hard Jenny McCarthy fan. 7. Those Uniqlo board sweaters! Everyone should participate and run for JCL Board some time during their Latin careers, if only for the awesome board attire and your passion and love for JCL <3 8. Kevin Chung was not present half the time. 9. The haircut(s). See above. 10. Turned down UChicago for UCSD. Whether he did it to answer Lil’ John’s oft-quoted question, “Turn down for what?!” or because he got a full ride as a Jacobs Scholar, he is now a man with a crippling inferiority complex. *We actually wrote this article to boost his self-confidence. 3
14 of the LOLziest Pictures from This Yearâ€™s JCL Events 1. Patrick Su, Thomas Seo, Thomas Gui - CJCL Convention
9. Kevin Lee - AP Latin, Period 3
5. Freshmen, Catherine Chen JCL Banquet 10. Hunter Craft- SCRAM 2. Kevin Chung, Alex Chung JCL Banquet
6. James Gui - JCL Banquet 11. Patrick Su, Kotaro Tsutsumi, Thomas Gui - Weenie Roast 3. Will Michalak,Toloue Kabiri Journey to the Underworld
7. Mr. Davis - Journey to the Underworld 12. Kevin Chung, Mr. MichalakJCL Banquet 4. Tiffany Huang, John Lee SCRAM
8. Jason Park- Journey to the Underworld 4
You Know You’re a
Class of ‘14 Kid If You… 1. Have senioritis right now. Like actually. Juniors, you’ll understand next year. 2. Recently learned that second semester senior year is a lie. Quite disappointing. 3. Remember Ms. DeBoer and her pages-long notetakers. 4. Knew Mrs. Addiss back when she was Ms. Dualan, if only for a day. 5. Can recall the good ol’ days when you didn’t know Thomas Gui at Uni. Alas… 6. Are jealous of the classes of ‘11 and ‘12 for getting those awesome college scarves from Brazzy. 7. Had Impact for all of first semester. Sigh... 8. Are too lazy to come up with number 9.
11 Things You Will Never Forget because Davis and Mich Have Said Them So Much 1. “Odi et amo.” 2. “Never fight a land war in Asia.” 3. “If you’re late to my class again, it’s going to be a holy war.” 4. “Pen, pencil, or writing utensil!” 5. “Gravis Ardor” 6. “Apply what you know to what you don’t know.” 7. “RSRD. Run silent, run deep.” 8. Spongiae. 9. “Did you pay money for that haircut?” 10. “Get off my desk!” 11. “-o, -s, -t, -mus, -tis, -nt!”
6 Pieces of Advice from Seniors to Freshmen 1. Get sleep while you can, because sleeping at 12 is pretty early for most by Senior year. 2. If you’re taking it: APUSH seriously isn’t that bad. You’ll probably spend (or want to spend) hours and hours studying for tests and reading the textbook. But then you’ll look back at the class two years later, and think about why you spent so much time on it. 3. Don’t worry about the future too much. Especially not about getting into your dream school. You are young, you are dreamers, and you are more than a little bit foolish. Do what you love and find passion in a club, a sport, research, whatever floats your boat. In this passion you’ll have the opportunity to get essay topics for those college essays, awards, and extracurriculars. But besides the whole college admissions factor, it’s nice to have a reliable time-eater. Free time is relatively easy to come by for you guys right now. Take advantage of it while you still can.
10 JCL Members who look like.....
KOTARO TSUTSUMI 4. Wet n’ wild!
1. He’s a cut above the rest. A haircut, that is. And by above, we mean “permanently behind”.
7. Truly photogenic. 5. “Oh-em-geemus-gee!”
2. He’s quite the (eye)baller. 8. Don’t take bath salts, kids. 9. Smolder.
6. Younger and more vulnerable days.
10. The hair to the throne. 3. I wonder why he’s smiling like that. (PREPARE THE GOD OF THE SKIES!!!) 6
5 (of Many) Ways that UHSJCL is Better Than Woodbridge JCL
1. Woodbridge got the juice-- no, we don’t know what that means either. 2. Final Convention score: Uni: 240+, Woodbridge: 100. 3. There were more Woodbridge students at the Barbarian Gathering, AKA Spanish Convention, than there were at State Convention.
Final Tally: JCL by the Numbers 12,000: if you trust my math, the approximate number of minutes we’ve spent in Latin class 2374: Average SAT score of JCL Executive Board 1,662: delegates, teachers, and chaperones at our 2014 State Convention 660: people who went to Winter Formal 240+: members of UHSJCL 100%: reason to remember the name (but not any of the other lyrics to this song) 6: very successful events that JCL has hosted this year 2%: my preferred milk 2: awesome Latin teachers whom we all love very much 1%: we are the 1: really thirsty kims -- I mean, kids!
4. They won’t let me join their lame Facebook group :( 5. They don’t have Mr Davis and Mr Mich. <3
A Final Note! Thank you so much to everyone who contributed to this very special issue of Publicae! And most importantly, a VERY big thank you to Mr. Davis and Mr. Mich, who over these last four years have made Latin and JCL such an amazing experience for all of us. We’ll miss you both :’) 7
university high publicae 8
class of 2014 // mr. davis // mr. michalak // omnium enim rerum principia sunt