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Top Questions Top Questions asked by Today’s Gay & Lesbian Couples...

1. How much should we budget for catering? -Typically, a quarter of the overall wedding budget is spent on the food & wine served at your reception. But it’s always up to you! Couples today regale their guests in many different ways: cocktail-hour style reception parties… family-style service (larger portions with not as many selections can help ease your budget considerably)… tapas… home-brewed signature beer for a personalized touch. There are a variety of ways to work your reception fare around your budget, so keep your options open and brainstorm with your caterer or event consultant as necessary to create a menu that will work best for you! 2. Our households are already combined; should we still go through the motions of having a gift registry? -Remember, giving a gift to celebrate the occasion is a meaningful exchange that your guests truly enjoy. Customize a registry based on new home décor ideas (include your ideal color schemes or specify exact dream gifts to help guests pinpoint purchases.) Or, consider a honeymoon registry or bank account for collecting funds for a downpayment on a new house – these are great ways to make the most of everyone’s desire to support you & your spouse in your new life together. And if nothing else appeals to you, certainly consider a gift registry based on charities: name several organizations and offer details – it will be fun for your guests to pick and choose which charitable donations they’d like to make in your honor. 3. Some of our family members are not sure what to expect at our wedding, but we still want them involved. How should we broach the subject? -This varies so much depending on your situation. Talk with your officiant or event planner to begin outlining the traditions you’ll include in your ceremony… then take some serious time to think about how you & your fiancée would most like to include family members. What is your ideal? Have you always dreamed of your father walking you down the aisle? Or would

you like both parents to join you? Would it be meaningful to have your siblings offer a special combined reading?... Who will help with the candlelighting? What will be the role of the attendants? There are many ways guests and family members can take part. Once you’ve decided what will be most meaningful for you, then set aside a special time –such as a family dinner- to ask parents, siblings and others if they’ll join in, or if they have their own ideas. Chances are, they’ll be honored to take part and may have just been waiting for you to explain a bit about the details (remember, many still have never attended a gay or lesbian ceremony before!)… but if they have any hesitations, let them know just how important it is to you. Reassure, and remind them that this ceremony is just as sacred and important as any marriage; that it is the day you & your partner will begin your new committed life together, and that you want them to join you to make the occasion that much more meaningful. If they can understand, great! If not, do your best to allow them time to consider your invitation… if it doesn’t ultimately work out the way you planned, of course allow yourself to feel the disappointment but if at all possible try to see past the situation. Encourage them to at least witness your ceremony and chances are that once they do, they’ll realize the heartfelt and joyous celebration that the occasion warrants. And if the circumstances seem seriously stressful or challenging, remember to turn to your officiant, partner or friends for support: you deserve it! There are many in your circle who will treat you with respect and joy; focus on the positive to make the most of this festive & truly special time in your life. For more Planning Tips & Trends, visit Be sure to listen out for RWN’s upcoming Internet Radio Spotlight, featuring Q&A’s, Professional Insights & more! See the website for full details!

Vol. 6 Issue 1 2011 LGBT Planning Resource Guide 47

The 2011 LGBT Wedding Planning Guide (Vol. 6, Is. 1)  

An expanded issue of the nation's first Gay and Lesbian Wedding Magazine. This issue features the latest tips and trends for 2011 along wit...

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