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p h o t o b y William Davis

“I Dream of a Richmond” Richmond, like many cities across the United States, struggles with a growing number of native dilemmas. The invested faith our public retains for the municipal government crumbles in the face of a stagnating hierarchy. As more citizens become affected by political stoicism, disquietude and frustration breed a clamorous social chatter. However, the most daunting issue we endure as a populace involves a lack of communication.

In an effort to aid civic dialog, Gallery5 and T.O.W.A.R. join forces in a socially driven endeavor known as “I Dream of a Richmond…” This campaign will act as a public platform that cultivates local concerns. It will also serve as a regional forum that indiscriminately allows people to express their needs and aspirations regarding the community. This project is currently seeking local photographers and interested parties of the camera-holding variety to take pictures of RVA residents. These images are intended to highlight a broad demographic, regardless of age, ethnicity, gender, and socioeconomic status. Each submitted photograph must be accompanied by a quote from the individual being shown. This quote is prompted by the phrase “I dream of a Richmond…” and should express that person’s vision for a better community. Many of these works will be reprinted for display throughout the city. All photographers are to be credited for their contributions. Early submissions are strongly encourages so that the campaign’s imagery can be utilized for public spaces before the exhibition. It is the intent of “I Dream of a Richmond…” to convey a populist perspective that brings to 08

light a sense of universal understanding. It is the hope of both organizations involved that such a project will encourage change and showcase varying opinions in a way that is not ostracizing but instead empowering. Those interested should send high-resolution images to or on a disc to Gallery5 200 West Marshall Street Richmond VA, 23220. A printable waiver will be made available online for all photographed parties to sign. This document will include a space for written quotation. The name, age, and occupation (optional) of the speaker should be indicated on the form and waivers should be allocated logically to each submitted image. All photos must be 300 d.p.i. or greater, with the intent of reproducing them at 11x17 or larger. Both film and digital photography are welcome but it is recommended that photographers submitting photos from film, scan their prints first, and send high-quality digital copies instead. All physical prints will be scanned and reformatted for display. Submissions utilizing video, sound, and other media are of additional interest for this exhibition and proposals are welcome. Please send all photos and proposals no later than the second week of December. The culminating exhibition for these works will take place on Friday, January 4th, 2008 at Gallery5. On December 7th, Gallery5 will be setting up a photo station in which everyone is encouraged to come and express his or her individual views. These images/quotes will also be assembled for the January presentation. In the spirit of autonomy, it is the intent of “I Dream of a Richmond…” to provide a populist perspective that brings to light a sense of universal understanding. It is the hope of both organizations involved that such a project will instigate change and showcase various thoughts in a way that is not ostracizing but empowering. “Revolution is but thought carried into action.” – Emma Goldman For more information, go to If you are interested in other ways of contributing to this campaign, including volunteer opportunities, sponsorship, and private donation, call (804)-644-0005

Elizabeth King I a m f a s c ina t e d w it h t he ho l e s i n t he f a c e… nostrils, ear s, eye s, a nd I w o ul d s ay m o u t h, t he m o s t notorious hole, but I ’ v e ne v e r m a d e a n o p e n m o ut h in a l l t hese year s. I should t o o, s inc e t he la nd s c a p e o f t he ins id e o f t he mouth would of f e r huge t h r ills t o a s c ulp t o r. P l us a ll t ho se dif fer ent materi a l s, w ha t w o uld I m a k e t h e t e e t h o f if no t por celain. Por celain t e e t h, g la s s eye s, t he m a t e r ia ls o f t he p o et’s meta phor s. But t he ho le s t he m s e lv e s : t hi s m o r ning I ’ v e b een wor king on the e a r o f a ne w b r o nz e p o r t r a it . H a v i ng nic e ly smoothed out the w ho le ins id e o f t he he a d ye s t e r d ay, t o d ay I’m in that zone of t r a ns fo r m a t io n b e t w e e n o ut s id e a nd ins id e the body. How f ar in c a n w e s e e ? C a n I s c ulp t in a b i t f a r t her than that, just in c a s e ? I lo o k a t my o w n e a r, a nd a t t he c asts, w hic h ar e my m o d e ls. B r ing ing t he g r ind e r bur int o t he ear hole fr om the ins id e o f t h e he a d , w hi le lo o k ing a t w ha t I’m doing fr om the o ut s id e , I s ha p e a n d a r t ic ula t e t he ho le of the ear, at some p o int im p r ov is ing t he b o u nd a r y w he r e r e pr esentation tur ns int o a k ind o f im a g ine d int e r na l a na t o my. Wher e obser v ation t ur ns int o im p r ov is a t io n. An ex q ui s it e z o ne, since this wor k ult im a t e ly is a m a t t e r o f t r y ing t o s h o w a thing fr om the in s id e o ut , t r y ing t o li v e ins id e my s k in. “ Staying in my head,” t he ex p r e s s io n fo r no t le t t ing t he w o r ld into the studio for a w hile , int o my m ind . Ev e n c le a r ing o ut a space for thinking, fo r s o lit ud e , I p o lis h t he w a lls o f t he ins ide of the head and t hin k a b o ut t he s ha p e o f t he ne g a t i v e s p ace of the interior. W h e r e t he b r a in is. B ut w he r e I s t ill l inge r in thinking of the s p a c e o f t he t he a t e r, t he p e r c e i v e d c ha m ber, emptying it out, a n d p e r f e c t ing i t s v a r io us o p e n ing s, p o ints of congr ess with t he w o r ld . I t s w ind o w s a nd d o o r s. 10

Animation Study: Pose 7

Q u i z z i n g Glass


Animation Study: Po s e 6


Animation Study: Pose 1 - 4




Still from “Eidolon”

The Sizes of Things in the Mind’s Eye Opening Rece ption Friday, December 7, 6 – 8 p m Galler y Talk with the Ar tist T hur sday, December 13, 6 – 7 p m Events ar e fr ee and open to t he p ublic . T his nationally tr aveling mid - c a r e e r s ur v ey o f w o r k by s c ulp t o r Eli z a b e t h K in g pr ovides an unpr ecedented o p p o r t unit y t o ex p lo r e t he a r t is t ic e v o lut i o n a n d singular innov ations of one o f t he r e g io n’ s m o s t o ut s t a nd ing a nd inf lue nt i a l ar tists. Inaugur ating the c e nt e r ’ s ne w Tr ue F. L uc k G a l le r y, t he ex hi b it io n featur es over 6 0 sculptur e s, ins t a lla t io n p ie c e s, f ilm a nim a t io ns, d r a w ing s, and photo gr a phs assemble d f r o m p ublic a nd p r i v a t e c o lle c t io ns a r o und t he countr y. It also inc ludes an a r r ay o f o b je c t s f r o m K ing ’ s s t ud i o, b o t h fo un d and made, that illuminate p r o c e s s a nd int e nt .

Vis u a l Ar t s C e nt e r o f R ic h m o nd 1 8 1 2 We s t M a in St r e e t , R ic hm o nd , VA 2 3 2 2 0 8 0 4 - 3 5 3 - 0 0 9 4 / w w w. v is a r t s. o r g G a lle r y H o ur s : M o n d ay t o Fr id ay 1 1 a m – 7 p m , Sa t ur d ay 1 1 a m – 4 p m , Sunday 1 – 4 pm

After its Ric hmond pr emie r e , t he ex hib it io n w ill t r a v e l t hr o ug h e a r ly 2 0 0 9 to the Hopkins Center at D a r t m o ut h C o lle ge , H a nov e r, N e w H a m p s hir e ; t he Sheldon Memorial Ar t Galle r y, L inc o ln, N e b r a s k a ; t he D a v id Wint o n B e l l G a l ler y at Br own Uni ver sity, P r ov id e nc e , R ho d e I s l a nd ; a nd t he H a ls ey I ns t it ut e of Contempor ar y Ar t, Char le s t o n, So ut h C a r o lina . A 60-pa ge color catalo gue a c c o m p a nie s t he ex hib it io n a nd is a v a ila ble f r o m the VACR for $30 . T his pr oject is made possible i n p a r t w it h ge ne r o us s up p o r t f r o m t he VC U Sc hool of the Ar ts Dean’s Fa c ult y Re s e a r c h G r a nt P r o g r a m , t he VC U D e p a r t ment of Sculptur e + Extend e d M e d ia , t he Vir g inia C o m m is s io n fo r t he Ar t s, Kent Galler y in Ne w Yor k, a nd num e r o us ind i v i d ua ls. 15

A b r ie f r un d o w n o f St r a nge D e t e c t i v e Ta l e s : D e a d o n St a ge f r o m hungr D u r ing t he m o ns t e r m ov i e c r a z e o f t he 1 9 3 0 s, m o ns t e r s f r o m ar ound the wor ld m ov e d t o L o s Ange le s t o s e ll t he ir s t o r ie s a n d ge t m ov ie d e a ls. Unfor tunately, they a l l go t s c r e w e d ov e r by H o lly w o o d ex e c ut i v e s w ho s t o le t he ir ideas and left them b r o k e . So by t he la t e ‘ 5 0 s t he r e is a m o ns t e r und e r c la s s f a ir ly well-esta blished in t he s ha d o w o f H o l ly w o o d . Re nf ie l d (t he bug - e a t ing s yc o p ha nt f r o m Dr acula) and Igor (D r. Fr a nk e ns t e in’ s bum blin g a s s is t a nt ) a r e p r i v a t e d e t e c t i v e s f ig hting to pr otect the m o ns t e r s t ha t ha v e n o o ne e ls e t o p r o t e c t t he m . T his t o ng ue - i n- c heek detecti ve tale is p ur e no ir, but a ll t he f e m m e f a t a le s a r e z o m b ie s, t he g a ng s t e r s ar e little gr een men a n d t h e m o s t d a n ge r o us m o ns t e r s o f a ll a r e hum a ns.

R en fi eld

IGOR AND RENFIELD get animated By Par ker

I m a ge s c o ur t e s y o f H ung r y m a nt v. c o m

Ric hmond’s own Barf…um . . . J im … um … J a m e s C a lla ha n a nd Je s s e Baush b r eak into the anim a t io n w o r ld w it h St r a nge D e t e c t i v e Ta le s : Dead on Sta ge. With the f ir s t e p is o d e p r e m i e r ing o n O c t . 3 0 s t o n Hungr y Man TV, this ne w ‘ t o o n t a k e s c ha r a c t e r s f r o m C a lla ha n (il lustr ator) and Baush’s (writ e r ) c o m ic b o o k St r a nge D e t e c t i v e Ta le s : Dead Love and places them r ig h t s m a c k d a b in t he m i d d le o f a ne w we b series. Go to www.hung r y m a nT V. c o m t o c he c k o u t t he f ir s t e p i sode. Look for e pisode 2 t o hit by t he e nd o f N ov e m b e r. AN D lo o k for us to update you with a f ull- f le d ge d J a m e s C a lla ha n/ Je s s e Ba us h inter vie w in an upcoming is s ue o f R VA.


L ik e t he ins e c t s he e a t s, Re nf ie ld i s a s ur v i v o r. B ut e v e r s inc e his beloved master D r a c ula d ie d , he ’ s b e e n lo o k in g fo r a p ur p o s e fo r hi s a f t e r lif e . H e found one in Los Ange le s, a s a p r i v a t e inv e s t ig a t o r fo r t he m o ns t e r s no w s t uc k t he r e. Renfield is an all o r no t hing s o r t o f g uy – he ’ s p a s s io na t e , s o m e t im e s t o t he p o int of obsession. He t r ie s t o d o go o d , t o b e a he r o, but h is im p uls e s o f t e n ge t t he w o r st of him. He’s not q uit e a m a n, but no t q uit e a v a m p ir e e i t he r – D r a c u la m a d e him a v ampir e, but he still li v e s o f f ins e c t s ins t e a d o f h um a n blo o d . H e ’ s p r a c t ic a lly im m o r t al and ver y har d to k il l, bu t he l a c k s m o s t o f t he p hy s ic a l a nd p s yc hic p o w e r s o f r e a l v ampir es.

D r. I g o r Vo r li c Vo r lic s p e nt t he la s t hund r e d ye a r s in s e r v i c e t o e v e r y m a d s c ie ntist he could find— a l w ay s p lay ing t he f a it hf ul a s s is t a nt , but ne v e r a ble t o m a k e it on his own. He’s m a n a ge d t o k e e p his b o dy a li v e t hr o ug h f r e q ue nt o r g a n r e p la c e m ent; one thing he’s go o d a t is c a r v ing up c o r p s e s. H e a nd Re nf ie ld a r e d r a w n t o ge t he r by the same thing t ha t k e e p s t he m c o ns t a n t ly b i c k e r ing – t hey ’ v e b o t h s p e nt t he ir li ves playing second f id d le t o a m o r e p o w e r f ul m a s t e r. I go r s e e s t he ir d e t e c t i v e w o r k a s a means to an end, p r ov id in g t he r e s o ur c e s he ne e d s t o f und his p a s s io n fo r SC I EN CE!! Unfor tunately, he ’ s jus t no t a v e r y go o d s c ie n t is t . B ut d o n’ t t e ll hi m t ha t .

extensive selection of vinyl, LP's, 12" dance and 7"s!



3012 W. CARY ST. M-S 10-9, Sun 12-6

PLAN 9 EXPRESS 828-1698

1111 W. BROAD ST. (VCU e2 Bookstore)


photo by Drew Goren 20

Greetings from Little Richmond, Spending Time with Against Me! By Christian Detr es & Dave St e w a r t Richmond has a gir lfriend. Her name is Gainesville. She lives in Florida and somehow knows all your friends. It’s a blast to hang out with her and she gets you, r eally gets you. Asinine analogies aside, ther e is something special about the bond that keeps these two cities together. At some point in the distant past, ther e was a blood brother mingling between Av ail and Hot Water Music that spar ked an exchange of influence, ar t and passion for the deeper sensibilities of anarchy and discontent. Many year s of cross-pollination has ensued with local bands shipping out like a punk rock ar my to T he (Gainesville) Fest to r epr esent Richmond, like a longdistance best friend coming in for a weekend of r eckless debaucher y. Along the long road of collabor ation and mutual billing, a seventeen-year-old named Tom Gabel began singing songs of fr ustr ations and angst ar med only with an acoustic guitar and a deep love of anarchistic utopia. Heavily influenced by Richmond bands Av ail and (Young) Pioneer s, Tom updated the troubadour aesthetic in black jeans and Chucks. He began proclaiming his distr ust for bur eaucr atic gover nment nonsense and untr ue vir tue, str umming his axe and scr eaming vitriol at those that would defend a broken system. Since 1997 Tom has succeeded in sur rounding himself with a full band, a legion of fans and a steadfast conviction ver y r ar ely matched in vocal grit. 2002 saw the r elease of Against Me’s seminal album Reinventing Axl Rose . From this point

on, Against Me! would play ever y hole in ever y ‘bur g ‘til we all got the point. T hey knew we wanted a band that’ ll play loud and hard ever y night, never mind how many tickets ar e sold at the door. Plagiarism is fun, isn’t it kids?! Sever al albums later, Against Me! is now on tour suppor ting their new album, New Wave . I met up with them sever al year s ago at the Nanci Raygun while r epor ting for Chew On T his magazine and was impr essed with the miles of road r ushing by behind tir ed eyes and the obvious glee he had for Richmond’s aur a of isolationist punk rocker y. Like Richmond, he explained Gainesville had not the population nor the str eet cr ed to consider themselves punk’s best hope, but knew that again, like Richmond, that wouldn’t change a damn thing about the hometown pride so pr ev alent within its border s. Meeting with him again befor e their incr edible perfor mance at the Canal Club ear lier this month, I was able to ask him about some of the things that have changed and the things that never will. Major label signing and Clear Channel endor sements didn’t keep him from casually strolling through the venue like any r andom hipster, though the cabal of sixteen-year-old shrieking gir ls that blockaded his path did – just long enough to smile and take as many pictur es as they wanted. Christian Detr es Fir st of all, welcome back to Richmond. It’s been a few months, since Febr uar y? I think you’ ve been on tour for what now, a hundr ed year s? Seeing that you guys have such a distinct Gainesville identity, what’s it like coming home now – having been on the road for as long as you have? Tom Gabal It’s home but I swear, I spend a couple weeks ther e a year in between tour s and it seems to be changing so fast. I come, I go and things ar e just dif21

fer ent. T he last couple of year s ther e has been a ton of development and it r eally feels like a completely differ ent city ever y time we come home. T he people ar e the same and I guess that’s what r eally matter s. Oh, and ther e’s no mor e Bur rito Brother s anymor e. CD Nah man, they’ r e still around in DC, ther e was one right on the cor ner wher e I used to live in Capitol Hill. Dave Stewar t Nope, that one’s gone too. CD Shit! T hat sucks. Out of curiosity, what is it do you think that makes Richmond and Gainesville so inter ested in each other? How did these two scenes fall in love with each other? TG T her e’s this incr edibly long histor y of bands pairing up from each town to go on tour together. Since Av ail and Hot Water Music I guess, that and Ann Ber etta too. T hat and, in my opinion, ther e’s nowher e like either one of these cities. I mean go


a hundr ed miles in either dir ection from both of these cities and it’s a completely different wor ld. Norfolk and Vir ginia Beach ar e NOTHING like Richmond and the same goes for Gainesville. T hey’ r e two islands of unique sensibility that somehow found each other and narcissistically embr aced each other. I think also the fact that they both have r eally hot summer s and similar neighborhood str uctur e, they engender a lot of front porch lazing about and beer drinking. T her e’s a similarity of lifestyle. Richmond has a lot of per sonality that r esonates with the Gainesville scene. I’m r eally sor r y I missed Best Friends Day this year. I heard it was insane… We continued to talk about mutual inter ests that make our local experiences unique and similar. By the end of it all I stepped out of their gigantic touring bus and thought to myself that it’s nice to see ther e’s another place for all of us that need to get out of her e for a while but don’t want to endur e the pr etentiousness and v anity that is, well, just about anywher e else. You’ ve always got a drinking buddy down south and, Gainesville, we’ ll always r etur n your calls. photo by Dave Stewart 23


By Cur tis Grimstead

Images by Michelle Dosson

The Fest…the pilgrimage that hundreds of Richmonders have taken to Gainesville, Florida the last weekend of October for the past six years. The Fest is put on by Gainesville’s No Idea Records (Against Me, Hot Water Music), and PBR even sponsors it. Some people come to play, others to drink, but everyone has one goal in common – to try to see as many bands as they can out of the 180 bands from around the world who play over the weekend. This years Fest was the largest to date, selling out a couple of weeks before it took place, which made every venue packed and a really easy way to lose your friends. 24

Florida, the night before The Fest, is a bubble ready to pop. Pretty much every city that could have bands play, had a show with bands traveling to the Fest. Saint Augustine was looking good to me and a group of seven other friends, not because some of our best out of town buddies live there, but because there was an incredible show lined up for that night. After ten hours of shitty billboards, South of the Border, truck stops that graced us with strippers, inflatable cows that you could make relations with and every ironic hat in the South, we finally arrived at our first destination. The show was at a small club near the oceanfront called Café 11. The line up consisted of three Saint Augustine bands: Alligators, Greeness and Tubers. One band on GSL played called Triclops. They were solid musicians but had way too many effects on the vocals, making it sound like some fucked up animal on acid. Alligators and Tubers both have pretty much the same line up but different qualities that make them stand out from

A par ty broke out at the house we were staying at, and I have no memory of where all the alcohol came from, seeing that it was past last call, but I do remember a bottle of Jameson and a foosball tournament that turned into half naked people running around in circles with flags screaming, “Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole!” A pizza negotiation somehow occurred, scoring us a bunch of food for 20 bucks, and it lasted about a minute. Everything pretty much went downhill from there. I do know that I woke up the next morning to find out that I tried to use a t-shir t as a blanket.

Friday The drive from Saint Augustine to Gainesville is mainly rural. Most of the time I looked around at my surroundings and could only think, “This is the type of place where horror movies begin.” Just like anywhere in the South, some of the best names for places were along the road. My favorites were “Bull’S Hit” and “Lake Swamp Camp”. The only more generic camp name you could ever have would be just “The Camp”.

one another. Alligators’ songs are noisier, but the drums are solid and technically incredible. Tubers, on the other hand, have more straightforward songs, but they have a larger sound and are catchier. Greeness ran in the same vein as Don Caballero but less metal and more jazz influenced. The drummer was one of the guys you look at and think to yourself, “How the hell is he physically able to play the drums so well?”


Finally we get to Gainesville and to The Fest registration at the Holiday Inn. Before you could make it to the registration, there was a makeshift bar set up so you could drink throughout the hotel and while you registered. The registration area was set up with a couple of labels, records and book distros, but what really caught my eye was the table where you could get a Mohawk (dubbed 25



Fest Hawk) for $5 and the tattoo shop where people were getting Fest tattoos. Above the registration was the hotel pool, which was filled with a bunch of kids getting drunk at 3 in the afternoon, killing time until the bands star ted. Needless to say, most of the people who came to The Fest were already shit faced before any bands star ted to play. The first stop was the Atlantic where New Mexico’s Kid Crash was playing. Kid Crash could easily be thrown in the same category as Off Minor, which many call screamo, but no one wants to admit to it. Kid Crash uses catchy and heavy guitar par ts instead of a chaotic mess that some bands end up using. This works to their advantage and makes them enjoyable to watch, instead of such a headache. Good first band. Anyone who saw Brainworms, or the video of them playing The Fest last year, knows it was pretty off the hook and would be hard to out do. Brainworms played a couple of bands after Kid Crash. One band in between gave a couple of cases of water to the crowd, which I have to give mad props to. It definitely helped me out. As soon as Brainworms 26

star ted playing the entire area surrounding the stage erupted into chaos. At one point my legs got pinned into the stage and it felt like they were going to snap. Somehow I ended up sliding onto the stage crouched like a cat, and I had to duck from the people who were constantly flying over my head and occasionally kicking me in the head. Brainworms played a set of some of their best songs with the crowd never letting up, making it the favorite set of Friday night for myself and many other people I spoke with. After Brainworms’ set I decided to poke my head in some of the other venues and caught par tial sets of Toys that Kill and Youth Brigade who were playing at “The Venue”. It was weird seeing these bands in

The drummer was one of the best drummers I saw all weekend. He did that thing some drummers do by playing really complicated beats and looking like he wasn’t even thinking about it. Also, this was one of the first shows I saw at The Fest where everyone up front knew all the lyrics and would be louder than the bands at some points, which was always tight. On Saturday morning there was a 6 a.m. show at the Wayward Council. We stayed up until 4 in the morning trying to make it, and then everyone passed out in backyards, cars and on each other. Maybe next year if they do a 5 a.m. I’ll make it.

songs and ended on a classic CCR cover. Everyone was stoked on their set. There were a bunch of bands that afternoon that I missed like Pink Razors, Haram, Ringers and more, but I heard nothing but great things about everyone’s set. Around 6 o’clock, after a couple of Sex on the Beaches, I was back on my A-game. At the Atlantic, Madeline, an acoustic act from Athens, GA, played a delightful set that was followed by Antlers who played one of their best live sets to date. Antlers, who are normally very animated when they play, cranked it up a notch making one wonder how they pulled off playing their instruments on beat without falling on their asses. After Antlers, Old Growth and Tubers played,

..Somehow I ended up sliding onto the stage crouched like a cat... such a large place; it was only fun seeing bands at the Venue if you were in the very front. That place could hold thousands of people. Being overwhelmed by the Venue my travels Ied me to Common Grounds, which had next to it Five Star Pizza, a 24-hour pizza place that sold $1.50 slices outside during the entire Fest. Needless to say, they got a large chunk of everyone’s money. One of the days at The Fest a pizza terrorist ran into the 6-ft stack of pizza boxes they had, knocking them all over the floor. Some of them were still scattered on Monday morning when I walked by.


Army of Ponch was playing a reunion back over at the Atlantic. Army of Ponch’s records have never stood out to me, but their live set was rather impressive.

It was 2 p.m., and most of us were already drinking and watching bands prepare for what would be the longest day of The Fest. I found a bunch of my friends I had lost throughout the night at the Environmental Youth Crunch show. EYC played all their best

Woke up, and just like everyone else I needed food and coffee ASAP. Every restaurant in Gainesville had a ludicrous wait. I got a phone call from a friend who was waiting 30 minutes for a piece of bread. My breakfast ended up being two slices of grilled bread with cold cheese slices in between them. I guess that is a grilled cheese. Nothing against the restaurant, they had no clue a bunch of dir ty white kids were going to be hungry that morning. Even though I still had not fully recovered from the previous night of debauchery, it was time to see more bands.

both bands have folks who use to be in Twelve Hour Turn. Old Growth surprised me sounding like a mix of Twelve Hour Turn with Neil Young and some superb harmonica par ts. Tubers played a better set than they did in Saint Augustine. Every time I see this band live I like them more. The Atlantic was a great place for all these bands to play. It’s layout was perfect with a small divider separating the stage area from the bar so you can move freely around the bar area and still get a great view of the band. As for sound quality it was top notch for most of these bands that usually only get to play in places where they have to scramble to find a PA. We need a place like this in Richmond. The best performance I saw all weekend was at the 27

everyone was on their feet ready to get up. On the count of four the entire room of 100 plus people jumped up together, beer flying everywhere, any object that people could find was crowd surfed (barstools?), and everyone was dancing wilder that they were before. To top it all off the entire band, including the drummer, moved onto the bar to finish the set up there. It seemed like the band never fucked up one bit during their set even with the drum set moving. A classic Richmond “Holy Shit!” was chanted and I realized nothing that night was going to top that.

AVA I L end of the night by Tel Aviv’s Monotonix. As for what they sound like, Queen was all I could think of, most likely because the vocalist looks like Freddie Mercury. Monotonix’s vocalist, guitarist, and drummer modify their equipment for a more original sound, like running a bass head through guitar speakers or constructing one of the most unusual cymbal arrangements I have ever seen. The drummer also stands up instead of using a stool, and the band set their equipment up on the floor next to a loading ramp to the stage. When they star ted playing the vocalist was standing on the rail of the ramp holding onto the pipe above him. He stayed up there for about three songs and pulled some shady moves, like taking people’s drinks and throwing them all over the crowd and on the drummer and his set. Once he made it to the floor everyone surrounded him and the entire drum set was moved to the center of the room. The entire room was bouncing and going nuts, and then the vocalist made everyone sit down on the floor of the venue. He told them at the count of four everyone was to get back up. The drummer played a crucial solo followed by the count of one. At two everyone was anxiously waiting for four; at three 28

Avail played a great set from what I hear, and when they played “Southbound 95” the entire room screamed, “Richmond, VA!” together. There was a three block long line to see Municipal Waste, but rumor has it they were in costumes as a gay KKK member, Bob Marley, The Animal from the Muppets and the Devil. After Monotonix we went back to the Holiday Inn, and there were about 100 people par tying around the pool area. By 4 a.m. the pool was completely packed with well over 300 people. Some folks were doing some funny shit, like a group of rather larger dudes running and screaming, “Shark Week!” over and over again and diving into the pool together. Some senseless people were just throwing handfuls of paper in the pool, which is fucking stupid, because some underpaid Holiday Inn employee is going to have to spend a long time straining

all that paper out of the water. Why the hell are you going to fuck up a place that is nice enough to host such an awesome event and even let a pool par ty go on as long as it did? I got about 3 hours of sleep that night because I was trapped in the Holiday Inn. One kid decided it would be a great idea to light mor tars from the side of the pool. Obviously the cops came and broke up the pool par ty, and as people were being herded into the building they screamed, “FEST! FEST! FEST! FEST!” throughout the hotel. The cops put the hotel on lockdown and were kicking people out who did not have a room keycard; some kids were almost arrested for not having one. Basically I was stuck and just wanted to go to sleep.

Sunday The first show I saw on Sunday was the Minneapolis sing-a-long drunk pop punk band, Off With Their Heads. The band and many of the crowd members definitely had the “I feel like shit, I am going to puke any minute” look. One of the guitar players after about four songs said, “We have played for 8 minutes, isn’t that enough? Can we please stop playing?” People were way too stoked to see them to let that happen. They continued to play for the rest of their set even though the guitar player looked like he was about to pass out any minute. Thinking they were finally finished, the owner of No Idea pointed at them and told them to keep playing, and they did. This

band rules, by the way. I had never listen to them until The Fest, but they do a good job at drunken sing along songs. No Idea just released a collection of 7 inch’s by them and two new splits that are all wor th checking out. I spent the next couple of hours at the Sidebar recovering from sleep deprivation and being hung over. Apeshit! played an awesome set in the middle of the day and still held their ground. The Catalyst played one of their most spectacular sets, and a bunch of crust punks loved them. About 8 p.m. something very impor tant dawned on me, and that was that I was just hours away from seeing Seaweed. Seaweed was one of those Sub Pop bands I have listen to for years and always wished I could have seen when they were around in 90s. Unlike most of the stuff coming out of Washington at the time, Seaweed played a more mature pop punk in an area where it was vir tually unheard of. They were one of the bands to set the standard that you could play pop punk, and it didn’t have to be goofy. When they star ted playing it was like The Fest hit a time warp to 1996. Seaweed played every song you would ever want to hear by them, even the Fleetwood Mac cover. One girl even had a set list written on her arm, and they even played those songs. The band still has all the energy you would expect, and they look like a bunch of dads. They played the same time as Asshole Parade, who I wish I could have seen. Apparently at the Asshole Parade set so many people lost their clothes that they were just picking up whatever clothes they could find off the ground and claiming it as their own. After the official Fest was over there were after par ties and shows all over the place. Planes Mistaken for Stars almost played a house show, but there were too many people to get their equipment in. Radon played an acoustic set at the same house the night before.


This is just what I got to witness for the weekend. There were over a hundred bands that I just couldn’t possibly see and would have loved to see. Some of the lines were too long, and you would just miss way too much other stuff to see one band. The best night of the Fest was Saint Augustine. Nothing beat the excitement of what was about to happen and getting to hang out with some tight people that I rarely get to see. I am astonished at how many places Gainesville has to play music. They have six places that can all be used as regular venues. We need to get on this in Richmond and try to have the same variety as this small college town in the middle of Florida. 29

Art Brut at Toads Place Monday, November 19th

an inter vie w with Ar t Br ut by C hr is t ia n D e t r e s photo by Dan Monic k Eddie Ar gos is hilarious. I o nly w is h I c o uld under stand w hat the hell he w a s s ay ing. T hr ough his thic k London a c c e nt , he p ile s his Wildean quips on a foundatio n o f c ur io us ly a p t obser v ational skill. It’s not s o o f t e n t ha t yo u talk to an up-and-coming r o c k s t a r a nd e nd up with a ne w lens thr ough w hic h t o v ie w t he minutiae of our not-quite - s o - ho r r ible li v e s. Whether he’s describing the a nt ic ip a t io n o f a move to sunny c limes (and a w ay f r o m a nyo ne that would car e to find him), t he ind e s c r ib a ble joy of a br and ne w gir lfrie nd o r t he t e ns io n of r estr aint w hile contemp la t i ng a n ill- t im e d r emar k, his honesty r e g ar d ing t he s it ua t io n is unquestioned. T her e ar e many moments w he r e w e d e c id e to look at a situation and f ile it und e r “ t his suc ks,” w her e an adjustm e nt o f p e r c e p t io n c hanges it into “r eally funny s t o r y t o d is c us s at the pub.” Inside this r efr a c t ing o f p e r s p e c -

t i v e is w ha t I f e e l t he c o r e o f w ha t m a k e s Ar t B r ut , Ed d ie ’ s ly r ic a l c o nt r ibut io n a ny w ay, s p e c ia l. T he r e ’ s n o t h in g s o d ir e a s t o no t d e s e r v e a go o d t e a s ing. H e s ay s o f t a l k o f s ex a n d d r ug s a nd r o c k ‘ n’ r o ll, “ it ’ s b o r ing, ” t ho ug h he t a lk s a b o ut t he s e t hing s o f t e n. H e e s c a p e s hy p o c r is y by t a p p i ng int o t he o ut s k ir t s o f t he m a t t e r a nd f ind in g t he p r i v a t e ins e c ur i t ie s t ha t m a k e t he p u r s uit o f t he s e t hi ng s f unny o r p o ig na nt . “ Rus t e d G u ns o f M ila n” f r o m t he ir e a r li e r a lbum Bang Bang Roc k and Roll t a c k le s, in s a d ye t f r a nk a nd t it t e r in g t o ne s, t he f r us t r a t io n o f inex p li c a ble im p o te nc e in t he f a c e o f a p a r t n e r t ha t ’ s q uic k ly lo s ing he r p a t ie nc e . Ar t B r u t ha ils f r o m L o nd o n’ s N e w C r o s s ne ig hb o r ho o d , ho m e t o D a nge r M o u s e , T he K la x o ns a nd t he N e u R a v e m ov e m e nt s ur e t o no t m a k e a s p la s h in R ic hm o nd – a t le a s t fo r t he nex t c o up le ye a r s a ny w ay. T hey fo r m e d in 2 0 0 3 a nd ha v e r e le a s e d t w o f ull - le ng t h a l bum s a nd s e v e r a l s ing le s. A k ey line - up c ha n ge b e t w e e n t he s e t w o a l bum s ha s y ie ld e d a p r o g r e s s io n in s o un d q uit e g la r i ng bu t s o m e ho w c o m p lim e nt a r y t o t he e nt ir e r o p e o f g r o w t h t hey c lim b. C hr is C hi nc hi lla le f t c it ing t he e a r ly - c a r e e r m a nt r a o f “ I ’ m t ir e d o f b e ing p o o r ! ” d ir e c t ly b e fo r e f a m e a n d fo r t une hit . J a s p e r F u t ur e (ir o nic a lly a p p r o p r ia t e na m e ) r e p la c e d hi m o n g uit a r a nd w it h it a d d e d a ne w d im e ns io n o f d e p t h t o t he ir s o und . J a s p e r w a s a n o ld b a nd m a t e o f Ed d ie A r go s ’ in Ar t G o blin s.

T he m us ic i n f r o nt o f w hic h Eddie conver ses, r a t he r t ha n s ing s, is r e m iniscent of a glam-er a p r e - p unk w it h a blunt unp o lished edge. It sets t he p e r f e c t t o ne fo r his M o der n Lover s-esque v o c a l d e li v e r y. Flir t ing w it h str aight-forw ar d a n t he m r o c k r i f f s w hile no t quite e volving past it ’ s p unk r o o t s, it p lay s m or e like T. Rex than B o w ie but s a t is f ie s o n a ll le vels. A musical c ur lic ue a t t a c he d t o e nd o f a c hunk y rhythmic b a r is no t unc o m m o n – yo u know that if left to p a s t ur e , Ar t B r ut ’ s g uit a r s would get all f anc y o n yo u. T hey ho ld b a c k and show r estr aint w he r e o t he r s w o uld n’ t a n d s ur prise with a com p lex c ho r us s t r uc t ur e jus t for fun. T heir ne w a l bum It’s A Bit Complicated is mor e squar ely e n t r e nc he d in t his s o u nd w hile Bang Bang Roc k and Roll b r o ug ht m o r e d us ty blac k f loor s and b r o k e n g uit a r s t r ing s t o t he aesthetic. Ed d ie a ns w e r s t he p h o ne as if he’ d come in f r o m a q uic k jo g a nd ha s the most amazing s t o r y t o b r e a t hle s s ly t e ll you befor e you can s t a t e yo ur r e a s o ns fo r p h o ning. Laid bac k is a l m o s t t o o up t ig h t a p hr a se to describe the o p e n n a t u r e o f his m a nne r. 31

After the oblig ator y adulat io ns a nd p le a s a nt ries, I asked him a bout Emily K a ne . I f yo u’ r e a f an, you know w hat I’m talking a b o ut . I f no t , le t me just say the song “Emily K a ne ” is t he b e s t “Missed Connections” ad yo u’ d e v e r s e e o n Cr aigslist. You see, Eddie d a t e d t his g ir l Em ily in gr ade sc hool, r eally w a n t e d t o s e e w ha t she’s been up to, wr ote a s o ng in t he ho p e s she’ d hear it on the r adio a nd s a t b a c k t o s e e w hat ha ppened. It’s a com m o n s it ua t io n t ha t r eeks with insecur e humanit y – t he lov e t ha t made you feel like a man at 1 5 t r a v e ls w it h yo u in f antasies of embr acing r e unio n t o t he v e r y day that wish is fulfilled. So m e t im e s i t e nd s in a Hallmar k car d-wor thy ig nit io n o f p a s s io n but mos t of the time f alls t o t he f a t e o f b a d timing, t oo-high expectations a nd / o r e m o t io n a l misunder standing. In this case the r esults we r e n’ t id e a l but w o rthy of a sitcom e pisode. We ll, Ar t B r ut ge t s ill with the Top of the Pops and b e c o m e s L o nd o n’ s f avorite slur ring sons. Emily K a ne (t he p e r s o n) hear s the song, complete w it h r e f r a in “ I ho p e this song finds you f ame, I w a nt s c ho o l k id s 32

o n bus e s s ing ing yo ur na m e , I ’ m s t ill in lov e w it h Em i ly K a ne ! ” a nd c o nv inc e s he r (c ur r e nt ) b oy f r ie nd t o a t t e n d t he nex t lo c a l s ho w. All t he w hile , Ed d ie ’ s g i r lf r ie n d r e f us e s t o b e in t he r o o m w hi le he s ing s t ha t s o n g. T hey d o r e unit e – ha nd s ha k e s a nd p la t o nic d is a p p o int m e nt b e a ring d o w n lik e a M a r lb o r o c r us he d in a b r a nd ne w a s ht r ay. Fo r t he b e t t e r m ay b e , but t he s o ng ’ s s t ill s ung a nd Em i ly K a ne s t ill d a nc e s ha p p ily t o e v e r y c ho r us. I a s k e d Ed d ie a b o ut t he a p p e a l o f a w k w a r d ne s s a n d t h e na k e d ho n e s t y b e hind his s o ng s. “ I g ue s s I ’ m jus t s e l f i s h a b o ut my ly r ic s. I lik e t o w r it e a b o ut m e . I ha v e a lo t o f f r e e d o m t o e ns c o nc e my s e lf in t he c a t ha r t ic e f f e c t s o f s t r ip p ing t he e go a n d l o ung ing in yo ur o w n r e a l s k in. I w a nt t o w r i t e a b o ut t he l it t l e m o m e nt s, t he int r o s p e c t i v e s ub t ex t in t he b a c k o f yo u r m ind w hile d e a ling w i t h o ut w a r d c o nf li c t s. I t r y t o w r it e w ha t yo u s ay t o yo ur s e lf w hile s ay in g o r d o ing s o m e t h in g c o m p le t e ly c o n t r a r y. ” H is t a k e o n t he m a n - b oy, ne a r ly R ic k y G e r v a is - is h q uir k i ne s s o f his s ub je c t m a t t e r is e nlig ht e ning a s w e ll. I n a n o t he r t r a c k f r o m t he ne w a lbum Ed d ie p r o c la i m s :

I ’ m p o s s ibly m is s ing s o m e t hing s o m e o ne s ho uld ha v e t o ld me. A r e c o r d c o lle c t io n r e d u c e d to a mixed ta pe, he a d p ho ne s o n I m a d e my e sca pe. I ’ m in a f ilm o f p e r s o na l s o undtr ac k. I ’ m le a v ing ho m e a nd I ’ m ne ver got a come bac k. I ’ m le a r n ing ly r ic s f r o m t he CD inlay t o im p r e s s p e o p le w it h t he stupid things I say. I ’ m g r o w n up no w but r e f us e to lear n t ha t t ho s e w e r e jus t a d o le s cent concer ns. “ I ha v e a p r o ble m w it h t he idea that we all c hange s o m uc h a s w e ge t o ld e r. I’m twenty-se ven now but f ind I ha v e t he s a m e pr eoccupations and in s e c ur i t ie s I ha d a s a t e e na ger. Sur e, ther e ar e s o m e t hing s t ha t a r e b e t t e r (or wor se) but for the m o s t p a r t I ’ m s t ill t he s a m e per son embar r assed a n d p r o ud o f t he s a m e d a f t things that f lipped my s w it c he s a s a c hild . M ay b e I missed some cr ucial p a r t o f e m o t i o na l m a t ur a t ion, but at least I know I ’ m no t a lo ne . ” We a ll k no w o ur s e lv e s w h e n in fr ont of the mir r or ; it ’ s t he ble m is he s w e s e e f ir st. If you can r eco g niz e a c o m m o na l it y o f d e f e ct with e ver yone else, yo u c a n la ug h a t t he m . We ’ r e all cakes made fr om t he s a m e d e nt e d p a n – im p erfect but delicious.

CINEMASOPHIA Words and images by PJ SYKES Fire threatened to destroyed Cinemasophia’s practice space and the Sound of Music Recording Studio on the ver y fir st day of recording their new record. Already a difficult time for the band, this could have been the final blow. Instead it became a symbol of rebir th for the band and the studio. Recording was delayed for two months, the band regrouped with new member s, and


Sound of Music repaired the damages. When it was time to reopen, the public was invited to check out the studio and watch Cinemasophia perfor m during the Fir st Friday’s Ar t Walk in October. Since then, John Moran and Cinemasophia have continued wor k on the yet to be titled recording. PJ Sykes checked in with Landis Wine, Dan Cottner and Miles Washington right before their record, Whole Ghosts , was picked up and distributed nationally. Member s Jay Ward and John Merchant are now in NYC, and Elise Steenburgh was M.I.A. PJ Sykes Initially when I met Landis, I think it was at the Rilo Kiley and Denali show at VCU,

a friend of mine mentioned this guy they met was looking for people for his band, and I was sor t of pushed in his direction. I remember you were really, really excited about music and psyched about recording some of your songs. Landis Wine I think that was... Songs: Ohia with... Mountain Goats. PJ Yeah, that might have been the one. Was that kind of when the band got star ted? LW That was the ver y, ver y beginning of my sophomore year. That was when there wasn’t a real band. I was basically recr uiting people. I was just amassing a giant record collection and would listen to CDs all the time and I’d been reading constantly about music and playing instr uments and doing home recording since I was a kid. I had social skills outside of a musical arena, if it was totally separate from that, but as soon as someone set the music stuff off, it was like someone who had been kept in an attic for a really long time. PJ I just remember you were super excited, and I wasn’t ready for the intensity and passion you had for music.

LW I forgot about that. I just tur ned 19, and I was really excited. I just got some new recording stuff.

LW Dialectic was the fir st record. That was done all by me.

PJ It was really cool! So was that sor t of the star ting point?

DC When I fir st got on, it was Patrick on bass, and we were lear ning songs from Dialectic to play out.

LW Well, the fir st record I did was when I was 17, and I recorded it in my basement on spring break, while my gir lfriend was out of town. So I was like, “Sweet! I can do this all day!” Then when I came to college I was planning on doing a second record. And when I went home for the summer I actually played a few shows in Nor th Carolina and recorded a couple songs at Duck Kee Studio, where Polvo and Superchunk did all their ear ly stuff, with a bunch of people who I used to be in bands in high school with. Actually John and Jay were in that band as well. We played a couple of shows and then recorded those songs, and I took them back up with the intention of finishing the record. So I was sor t of looking for people to have a band with up here, and also to be able to finish a record with. I was sor t of totally over loaded with songs and ideas. I didn’t sleep in my bedroom, I slept on the floor of my living room where all of my possessions were. The bedroom was basically a recording room. PJ From there was the material on Whole Ghosts mostly written by you, then ever yone else filled in par ts or…?

LW The fir st song we did together was “The Char leston”. I was going though severe writer s block when we were wor king on Whole Ghosts initially, and it just really got wor se, and so what I would do is bring song par ts in and Jay would come up with the melody. I sor t of always relied on Jay. I’ll finish a lot of something, and then sor t of shove him towards it, and be like do something with it. Miles Washington He is the melody maker. LW So yeah, Jay will add melody, and then I will have a real redundant par t and bring it in to Dan, he’ll be like we need to cut this up. DC Seems like we mostly ar range as a group. LW Then Miles and I will take back the songs after they have been ar ranged as a group and sor t of... tweak.

Dan Cottner Before Whole Ghosts , there was Dialectic . MW Texturize. 35 43

DC Texturize! LW Yeah! It’s like going into battle with them and being like, ok, you’re this guitar par t, but now you’re going though a Mutron Bi-Phase and four different distor tion pedals, and we are modulating the phase in! MILES / DAN / PJ [laughing] PJ So in other words, it star ts with Landis, then the band comes up with more melody and some of the other par ts and ar ranges the song. Then Miles and Landis get it back and say, “Ok, now this sound r uns though these effects...” LW It’s sor t of an editing process. Each of us is ver y interested in ver y specific par ts of the process. Jay loves the melody par ts, doesn’t have anything to do with the electrics. Dan is rhythmic focused, and also he’ll do vibes and tight percussion par ts. Then Miles basically he was doing active electronics, but in the studio ever ything we did went though Miles. So Miles made it sound like it did, regardless of what the par t was. PJ Miles were you really active on W hole Ghosts or secondar y texture? 36

MW Yeah, I did a lot of effects tweaking and things like that, a few synth lines and sampled par ts. A lot of the times, it was just me processing a keyboard par t that someone else is playing in real time. PJ So live you don’t really play sounds as much as you “effect” one of the other member’s sounds in real time like an on stage producer or sound guy? LW I’ve always viewed Miles like the way Brian Eno approached the sound processing on the fir st couple of records. Where, like, Phil Manzanera played the guitar, but it’s essentially shaped and created by the way it’s processed. PJ You have the musician playing the par t and the producer “effecting” the sound from stage. LW For us it’s just as intricate. There is not a second-class thing within the band, there’s not much soloing. When it gets loud it’s not like there is a crazy guitar solo, ever ything is doing all these specific things. PJ The two new songs sound as if there is this glue that combines all the sounds together kind of like a My Bloody Valentine recording. Where as on Whole Ghosts you can really hear all these things playing together, but not exactly as one sound, which is how you nor mally hear bands.

MW A lot of times, there are things mixed in so quietly or delicately in the background, they don’t really seem out of place in any point. At the same time they accentuate other par ts really well, creating an atmosphere. LW When I listen to ambient music where you get so involved with the modulation of the sound that you’ll hear things. You’ll hear phantom notes, ghost melodies. It’s not beating you over the head, but you sor t of can listen to something multiple times and be able to hear different things. On Whole Ghosts it’s ‘cause there’s like 32 tracks per song [laughing], I’m not going to lie. DC It’s dense! PJ I’m fascinated with where the glue comes from. Is it mixing? Is it mastering? How do you get the sounds to stick together as one? MW I think it has a lot to do with sitting around with the recording gear and guitar in hand, and you having the power of pressing play – being in the environment where you sit and listen to it all the time constantly, because you want to make it sound perfect.

PJ What sor t of music has inspired you to play or write music?

MW I never really thought.... DC I would love to play with Grizzly Bear again.

DC I’m so psyched about Scott Walker right now. Scott Walker is, like, amazing! I’ve been going though an Of Montreal phase recently as well.

LW Grizzly Bear! Yeah! When I saw them live, they were one of those bands where I’m just like, “Fuck yeah! Ok. I need to go home and wor k!”

PJ New or old Of Montreal? PJ With all the recent shakeups in the music wor ld, will this affect how you release your new record when it comes out?

DC New actually, but I’m wor king backwards. I star ted with the newest album. All the math rock bands have always been exciting to me, you know like Don Cab, Hella... LW Magic Mar ker s for a while because of the energy and intensity. Bands with really complicated song str uctures I really like or really complicated rhythmic things. The Lily’s album Better Can’t Make Your Life Better , I like the str uctures in that. Another album I was listening to for a while was Off The Wall by Michael Jackson. Just listening to the demos where they were all doing polyrhythmic percussion stuff, it just sor t of gets me excited! Nothing on the new record is going to sound like that, but it just gets me excited.

DC I’m not thinking that far ahead. I’m just wor r ying about getting the new material together. MW I’ve defiantly been in a Tropicalia phase for a while. Psychedelic music has always been a fascination of mine. That even kind of translates to moder n music, and how it’s produced in a much more psychedelic manner than it would have been in the 40s or 50s…how technology affects that as well. LW I think all of us can agree on Battles. Ever yone in the band can agree. PJ So if there were one band you could tour with, would it be Battles?

MW Getting it to be heard by people, that’s all that really matter s. It’s all about what you hear coming out of your speaker s. LW After Whole Ghosts was out for a while it was doing really well on OiNK (a file sharing site), which is now famous for being shut down. I was ver y happy! It was almost like being on the CMJ char t or something. That was really exciting. Right now I’m more thinking about the new record.

LW That’s a difficult question. 37

For almost 30 years, Martin Atkins has been a musical catalyst for experimental, industrial, and post-punk. Chances are his drumbeats have bent your neck some time or another, with his work in Brian Brain, Pigface, Murder Inc., Rx, and the Damage Manual, along with stints in Public Image Ltd., Killing Joke, Ministry, and Nine Inch Nails. He is currently on tour hosting seminars, lectures, and discussions about his recently published, and already essential, 600-page guide for bands - Tour: Smart. Mike Rutz You’ve culled three decades of experience as a touring musician, label owner (Invisible Records), producer, and tour manager into this new book - Tour: Smart. Why did you decide to add “author” to your extensive resume? Martin Atkins I started teaching ‘the Business of Touring’ five years ago at Columbia College in Chicago – there wasn’t a text book…the one they were using was written in 1963. So, I slowly started to put Tour: Smart together. MR Please correct for the RVA readers the common “brown M & Ms” misconception. MA Some people cite the brown M&M’s as an example of ridiculous rock star excess. In fact, it is a litmus test from a genius tour manager with too many small items to police, any of which could napalm a performance. So he asks for a bowl of M&M’s with all of the brown ones removed in the contract. This way he can walk in to a venue, look at the bowl, and see if anyone has been paying attention – or not. MR What kinds of helpful tips will our favorite Richmond bands find in this manual? MA Well, from how to tour smartly - not just to make more money, although that’s a part of it - but how to sustain, how to cement the fragile relationship between them and the audience, how to sound better, merchandising tips (there are some great ones), five chapters on marketing, sex and drugs! Plus, 100 other touring professionals kick in their tips too. An interview with Martin Atkins by Mike Rutz 36

MR You currently teach, but you have plans to start a school of your own about the business of music and touring. What is your vision for the course offerings?

MA Most frightening for any established facility is my idea of some blank pages on the syllabus – how can anyone purchase that??? But with the business changing so rapidly we have to find ways of teaching core skills, entrepreneurial risk, and self reliance – not just a history lesson about Bruce Springsteen’s recording contract with a label that probably doesn’t exist anymore I also see other disciplines being valuable to anyone in the music business – from the easy to understand: web skills, electronics, etc., to the less likely: aquarium management, oil change / general maintenance / psychologist / priest, etc. etc. MR Chicago is also home to your 20-year-old label Invisible Records. Besides the latest Pigface reissues, what other radical music is Invisible releasing before the end of the year? MA There’s my China Dub Soundsystem album – my latest studio album. I recorded it when I was in China last year. It has Tibetan singers, scratch DJs, the coolest of the Beijing scene…fucking awesome!!! MR I definitely agree with that. Is it just coincidence that the track “Mostly Hulusi” reminded me of your (and Bill Reiflin’s) drumming from Ministry’s In Case You Didn’t Feel Like Showing Up? MA Actually it sounds to me like it’s straight off Flowers Of Romance – one of the PiL albums I did in the early 80s! MR Which of your bands are currently active?

MA Finishing up the new Pigface for next year. The Damage Manual is on hiatus for a while. MR How did the “Religion of Marketing” Art Show, a retrospective featuring your collection of artwork, stage props, memorabilia, and instruments, come about? MA I had ALL of this stuff from years and years of always doing it. I was in the UK and my friend Simon (who is a collector) had a piece called “Easy Nuns” above his fireplace. I really liked it and wondered where the rest of those pieces were…then, as I started to unfold all of them, the show kind of did itself. MR (fanboy question) 3 bands from the Invisible-China Pop compilation are opening for NIN in Beijing. Do you stay in contact with Trent Reznor or Al Jourgenson or have any plans of working with them in the near future? MA I saw Al J. at NAMM earlier this year. I have a huge amount of respect for what he has done…there are no plans for a collaboration at this time though! MR Do you have any fun tales from your visits to Richmond? MA We kidnapped BEEF from GWAR ands took him out for a few days with Pigface…

Bands and fans - catch Martin Atkins in Richmond on Saturday, December 8th for his Tour: Smart seminar and a DJ performance! The venue was not confirmed at press time, but just log on to for further details. For all of Martin’s many artistic endeavors 39

Time for a Good Ol’ Silent Music Revival By Nathan Joyce

You know how there are a lot of people who get interesting ideas but never do more than just talk about them? Jameson Price is not one of these people. Back in early 2006 he began talking about a combination of two of his loves, old silent movies and ‘70s funk records. Shortly thereafter Jameson bought a small DVD projector and invited some friends over to his apartment to watch The Cabinet Of Dr. Caligari (1920), while listening to the MFSB albums, Love Is The Message and Universal Love. After that, once every month, Jameson would host another “Silent Music Revival” at his apartment. Buster Keaton films and obscure cartoon shorts were played over the music of Return to Forever and Ella Jenkins, always only on vinyl, with between 5 to 10 friends usually showing up to watch. There was no special Dark Side Of Oz type link in the combinations. It was simply watching an old movie with a more interesting soundtrack than the classical stings or ragtime/honkytonk piano that was the norm. The key being that Jameson had never watched the film and listened to the music together prior to the viewing. He has always been adamant that saying, “When the two entities are unconscious of one another it creates a unique combination that always seems to sync up in unconventional ways.” Therefore, the most entertaining parts of the films are when the music would spontaneously align with action onscreen. Most of the time the two were completely separate, but every now and then a fast-paced, galloping song would correspond perfectly with a chase scene, or a train chugging along at high speed. A particularly pronounced cymbal crash or trumpet blast would sound just as a gun went off or a character exclaimed surprise. And sometimes a song would end as a scene faded to black. Eventually Jameson got the idea to host his Silent Music Revival outside of his apartment and thought Nonesuch to be the perfect venue. With the help of the always accommodating JonnyZ, a Silent Music Revival was scheduled for April and Jameson asked me to be the DJ. This new form of revival meant having an in house DJ who had never seen the film and is aware of 40

nothing but the length. So, on the night of the viewing, I was tucked into a closed room inside Nonesuch, where I could not see the screen, alone with my turntables, some beer and a timer. For the next 27 minutes and 19 seconds I spun a completely random combination of Hawaiian war chants, Mogwai, Rhapsody In Blue, the soundtrack to Chariots Of Fire, Sleep, something called Highlights Of Our American Heritage and the Summer 1987 Governors School of Tennessee Orchestra, while everyone else listened and watched The Electric House (1922). Afterwards, JZ was completely stoked and scheduled another Silent Music Revival for May. Of course, the terrible loss of JonnyZ halted this, and all operations at Nonesuch for a while. But once back on track, another revival was held in June, with DJ Nathan Joyce once again spinning over The Magic Cloak of Oz (1914). In July, Jameson scheduled Mermaid Skeletons to play live and be the soundtrack for the French film Le Tempestaire (1947). This incredible combination, a beautiful performance by the band in a completely unique setting, was a huge success and lead to more Silent Music Revivals with an ever increasing audience for the films, and Michael Murphy of WRIR, Sgull (featuring Nate Rappole of Ultra Dolphins), The Ok Bird, and Snack Truck providing the music. Silent Music Revival is further proof of Richmond’s incredible creativity and the opportunities that we all have to enjoy it. See you at the movies. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Be at Nonesuch (918 W. Grace Street) at 9:00 p.m. (sharp) on December 11th to see it. It’s free. December’s Silent Music Revival will be a collection of short films by Slavko Vorkapich (1928 -1934) and music by Anduin (featuring Jonathan Lee of Souvenirs Young America).

Go to for updates and schedules, and add them as a friend! 41

…another word to the wise – ACTIO N PATRO L

By Christian Detres


long time ago, AVAIL had just released Dixie, Inquisition was new, cassettes were still the DIY Images courtesy of Action Patrol label format of choice and Action Patrol shoved a big, black Doc Marten through the Richmond music scene.

In just a few weeks Richmond is going to be treated to a reunion show that I, and many others have anticipated for 11 years. Chris Taggart, Dave Grant, Rich Green and Tom Baisden caught lightning in a half-empty beer bottle in 1993 when they formed Action Patrol. Maybe it was the orange jumpsuits and Dave’s frenetic mental asylum screams, the impossibly fast and dirty guitars or the whip-crack precision of the rhythm section. Maybe it was all of it, or maybe timing, sound and image aligned their elusive planets for a moment and created the perfect band for the perfect audience in the Richmond early nineties. 44

Their staccato, math-y and anthemic stabbing sound impresses like the soundtrack to the greatest beat-down ever. If they did nothing else, they made Cyndi Lauper’s “Time After Time” cool. A longtime tradition at their shows, their cover of that song gained meaning through screaming and to this day, if I hear Cyndi’s version it only reminds me of theirs. I will make no attempt at hiding the fact that their music and their shows had a profound effect on what I would compare all other hardcore to. I am a huge fan. You may have the On Patrol CD. I hope you do, but if you’ve never seen them live, go. If you have seen them live, I’m sure you already have tickets. Their reach was and still is impressive for any band with a three-year DIY lifespan. Interest in the reunion blossomed right out of the gate. Fans are traveling from as far away as San Francisco and Chicago to witness the spectacle. In the course of conducting an interview with Against Me! (also in this issue) I mentioned the reunion.



I was surprised when the entire band reacted with wide-eyed excitement that quickly turned to disappointment considering their incompatible touring schedule. Stories of “I was there when…” are myriad when reminiscences are offered. All of this doesn’t surprise me now, with Richmond’s punks coming alive and coalescing once again into a cohesive scene worthy of national attention that we’re treated to the re-release of Hose.Got.Cable’s music, a two-day Inquisition reunion/live DVD and of course Action Patrol reemergence. The standard-bearers of a time hailed as an halcyon era can see the spirit of Richmond glowing again. Bands like Municipal Waste, Pink Razors and Ultra Dolphins have made Richmond viable again; have brought the spirit of those days gone by back to Laurel and Broad, Walnut Alley and who knew, Nara Sushi too. I’m proud to have had a hand in helping this reunion show happen, but it seemed all I needed to do was bring up the idea for all four members to take the idea and run with it. I’m glad to have worked with them on this and consider this an early Christmas present to Richmond. December 1st at Alley Katz and December 2nd at Empire (ten feet below the first spot I saw them) is where it’s at. That’s exactly where I’ll be.


Soso Tinfoil On The Windows Clothes Horse Records

Filkoe 176 Lost Zoo Keys And The Animal Spirits That Haunt Them


Sontiago Steel Yourself Endemik Here are three new releases from Endemik, the Canadian label home to Bleubird, Skyrider, Scott Da Ros, and other hip-hop/experimental 46

artists who exemplify interesting music. And Soso’s new album, Tinfoil On The Windows, is no exception. This record is inspiringly brilliant. The majority of the album is very quiet and subdued. Most of the lyrics are not really “rapped”, but kind of spoken in a tired, indifferent tone, with the rest of the lyrics sung in a strained, yet honest voice. There is not much in the way of cadence and only barely do the lines rhyme, but nonetheless it is beautiful. The songs

Local band names are in RED

are personal, dealing with lovers, family and similar themes; the kind of themes to which many people can relate, espousing the kind of emptiness with which, unfortunately, many of us are familiar. But there are also small shafts of light, or at least a less penetrating darkness. Lines such as, “I won’t be embarrassed/I love my parents/I’m comfortable being a man/and I take pride in my appearance” offer a fresh relief, even if they are followed by lines like, “No amount of alcohol

or pornography could burn your visage from my memory/I sought comfort in the generosity of others/and there were a few/But, inevitably, it would never feel right/because it wasn’t you” and other downers. This is definitely an album best enjoyed while lying down on a carpet, at night, staring at your ceiling fan. But I have found myself enjoying it equally at work, in my car and through headphones while walking down the street on a bright, hot day. It’s definitely one of the best

albums that I have heard in a very long time. On the flip side there is Filkoe 176’s new album, Lost Zoo Keys And The Animal Spirits That Haunt Them. And although I don’t like to lead off with such a negative connotation, this album just doesn’t do it for me. The entire album is about animals and their plight. It is a concept that is interesting for a moment, but when one realizes that there is over an hour’s worth of music here, the concept becomes daunting. Then,

when one hears Filkoe 176’s nasally voice and mediocre rhyme delivery, listening just becomes annoying. Many of the beats are interesting and well produced, but the vocals end up making these songs sound like jokes. Although I don’t like the album, I can see it appealing to certain people. For those who enjoy 20 tracks of upthe-ocelots human bashing, or for those who listen to Swordplay and are turned off by his rich baritone, Filkoe 176 is for you. Lastly there is Steel Yourself,

from Sontiago. Upon listening, the album title seems to be a reference to hardening oneself against the negative influence of others. Many of these songs are directed toward some other person who probably needs help, the suggestion of which Sontiago is very willing to offer. The beats are great and the vocals are fun. And the guests such as Bleubird and Dilly Dilly, of Cerberus Shoal, maintain this fun. The lyrics are self-reflective, with Sontiago focusing on

either a desire to better herself or the ways in which she has become better than an undefined other side, but they stay fresh and enjoyable. No overt braggadocio or TWISMposturing. Even songs like “Old Orleans” are not as heavy-handed as they could be, so the words do well to keep upbeat with the music, all without becoming silly party rockers. Some of the rhymes may be too old school simple for listeners, but my suggestion is to just sit back and enjoy.

The Soso album tops my list of this year’s musical accomplishments so far. Sontiago is definitely impressive and is just a plain fun listen. Filkoe…meh. I’m sure some will enjoy it much more than I. - Nathan Joyce

S/T Rorschach Records

impressive pedigree of musicians (Mass Movement of the Moth, Gregor Samsa, Olive Tree, Triple Twins, Resonance), it would be hard to imagine not being impressed with their most recent effort. That being said, what comes out is about as far away from what I was expecting, and it is an absolute delight.

If you picked up the RVA Magazine with the CD in it a few months ago, you might already be familiar with Antlers. Boasting an

We have here eight songs of varying intensity and mood, all of which display an understanding of song structure far


more developed than the collective age of the musicians would suggest. Antlers is predominantly an instrumental band, though not in the way one might expect. There are vocals scattered throughout the record, but they rely on their voices more as instruments than as a main act, and the result is breathtaking at times (see track six with the addition of the beautiful voice of Richmonder Erin Tobey). Fans of American Football take note, there are times when you might think

you’re hearing their rebirth, but then the heaviness and the jolting rhythms begin. This is a band people will undoubtedly be talking about for years to come, and with good cause. Antlers is quite possibly the most exciting band to come out of Richmond in a long, long time. - Brandon Peck


illustration by Ant

In Rainbows by Fr a n k i e L e e 50

When I got home from work a few weeks ago, I attempted to download In Rainbows, the latest album from Radiohead, but I couldn’t figure out how. I am by no means “tech-savvy”. I use a PC, but I’ve grown up with the Internet and function on it minimally, i.e. email, Wikipedia, Myspace, a blog, Google, etc. I do not have an iPod and subsequently do not download music on any regular basis. But I love and follow music, and my initial reaction to Radiohead’s announcement regarding the release of their 7th album was mixed, particularly because I was intrigued to hear the band’s latest, but the format was foreign. See, I basically listen to records, CDs and mixes (be them CDs or tapes). To think that the only way to hear the album upon its official release was by downloading, converting and burning, was confusing. I could not hold it or touch it? I understand they are offering a mail order package (way expensive) and planning a traditional in-store release for the record at a not-so-distant date, but how could I (and

why should I) really wait if the record is just hanging out, waiting for me somewhere on the Internet? So I got home from work around 8:30 p.m., and first off, I couldn’t get to their homepage (seems logical to look there first). I was continually directed to their blogspace, www., which I thought was their homepage. Maybe it is. I had never been to their webpage previously and just figured was it. There I desperately searched for that obvious button or link that said, “DOWNLOAD IN RAINBOWS HERE.” After searching and scrolling every inch of the page, and feeling like I was missing something, I stumbled upon an unmarked mention of the title in a blog dated “10/01” that linked to This was it, but as far as I was concerned, neither their homepage or blogspace had any definable link to reach the download page, nor anything that suggested the website even existed as the means to download the record, save for this unmarked mention of the title “10/01” in their blog and the heading “Hodiau Direkton”, a dead link picture of the In Rainbows website. So back to the website…I clicked enter, continued and was again confused. Was I preordering the download? Why am I viewing the basket if I’m not buying anything? Do I really need to type in $0.00? Is the pay now button not linked because I haven’t entered an actual amount? Why is this queue freaking out? Then, I figured I was a new customer, so I should go on to the registration process. Did everyone really have to give their email, password (even though this may be the password for receiving and confirming the download, it still looks like a prompt that asks for your actual email password), address, and mobile phone

number as the screen asked for next to the asterisks? I stopped there. For a moment, I started to believe that the site was actually some sort of spamming page used to gather information about potential In Rainbows seekers (seriously). I wasn’t having this. I just wanted to download the album, period. I backed away for a few days. Downloads are quick, easy and painless, right? In the midst of writing this, I’ve gathered my downloading momentum, faked my registration information and am currently kicking into “Bodysnatchers”. There’s something about hearing great music through my laptop speakers that just…makes me want to burn it to a CD. And now questions linger. Is it prejudice that I didn’t get the same opportunity to hear In Rainbows as everyone else? Purchases are quick, easy and painful, and that’s what makes them worth it. See, I paid nothing for this record I’m listening to right now, and “Weird Fishes/Arpeggi” has just kicked in. I do not value it monetarily, except indirectly through the cost of blank CDs and my Internet connection, and that remains my perception upon initial contact with Radiohead’s 7th album, In Rainbows. I know I’d rather wait and actually spend money to support a hard copy release of art (cheers to all of you who will be buying it twice, you truly support Radiohead’s pocket). Until then, I have no feelings about the music, except that “Videotape” is playing in Windows Media Player and it sounds like Radiohead. 51

Find Out About Found

ta bles on Davy, and e ventually we came up with a gr eat

at the mer maids. do r esear c h and stuf f, and

By Shelley Briggs and Ward Tefft Images cour tesy of Found Magazine

tr a p. We star ted a non-pr ofit, Books On Wheels, pr etend -

write. do you r eally think the mer maids can fit

ing that we wer e on a summer tour, and coaxed Davy into

into a scr eenplay about a celebrity pr ofilist?

inviting us to Ann Arbor, the secr et headquar ter s of Found

-No nakedness, but I did have my pictur e taken

Ma g azine.

with Fr that’s something.

Our plan wor ked, and soon we wer e guests at Davy’s house!

-the connection i feel to you is powerfully in-

Like a Nazi at a Mata Hari ca bar et, Davy could not r esist

tense and i wish we had the c hance to explor e

our sexual allur e. After a night of drinks, Davy finally suc-

it. but i under stand about your husband and

cumbed (3 r oofies, w hat a guy!) and we wer e fr ee to “find”

ever ything

OK. Let me tell you about Davy Rothbar t. T his guy, he’s been going ar ound for year s now br oadcasting people’s most intimate moments. Fr om per sonal notes to lost photo gr a phs, he’s been publishing w hat w as once priv ate to the w hole wor ld. He star ted of f with his we bsite, , but I guess the Internet w asn’t wor ld wide enough for him. So he thought of w ays to infor m a muc h lar ger audience and came up with Found Magazine , a r a g dedicated to discar ded fr agments of meaningful moments. Along with his nosy cohor ts, he just r eleased Issue 5 of Found Magazine and set out on a thr ee-month tour of the United States to air other people’s dir ty laundr y. Pissing me of f, man. Pissing Me OFF! We thought for a long w hile on how to tur n the 56

all we could. Luc kily, Davy for got to lo g out of his email account. It w as finally our c hance to expose w hat Davy left

-c hip, ar e you down??

unexposed to us. Ric hmond, we Found you Davy.

-about emotional baggage we talked about, 41 Editor’s note: all quotes ar e r eal and wer e found on Davy

minutes befor e blowing the deadline!

Rothbar t’s email account. Pr oper names have been er ased to save the innocent fr om the shame involved in cor r e-

-we won’t hold you

sponding with Davy -that rhyme you dr opped on my voicemail w as -i DID just notice a $600-something c har ge on my discover

the dopest ever!!!! you ar e a deser t queen

bill fr om the allegr o hotel in c hi. ok peace- talk to you soon--

-we hung out w hen we wer e having a gar age sale, but somehow my impr ession w as that your

-i love it w hen you’ r e dopey at 7am...let’s go spend a week

dad didn’t w ant us hanging out.

-the mor e $$$ the better!!

-baby, i love your verbs.

-let me know your mailing addr ess so i can put together a

-Hi -----, happy ne w year!! i thought about you last night

little pac kage for you!

as i w as delivering pizzas.

You can tell Davy w hat you r eally

-just keep me posted on how things tur n out with the F-

-my old sc hool lyrics commit mur der

think of him on Sunday, December

you guys wer e sleeping. See ya in Ric hmond! –D.R.

boar d. -It stayed on the grill. -i’ ll kill him. i’ ll make it painful ;-]

2nd w hen he r eads fr om his finds at

im the sole r eason they got a crime map in the obser ver

the Fir ehouse T heatr e. Another gos-

my w ac k rhymes hac k right into yo ser ver

siper, Fr ank War r en of Post Secr et,

im so cr ac ked out and per ver ted,

will accompany Davy and explain how

i take a big black cr ap on the back seat a your conver tible

he convinces the wor ld to confide in him. Shows star t at 7 and 9:30 p.m.

-desk c ler k at the hotel - beautiful and cool!!! and named

As illuminating as those finds might be, we can’ t help but

Adv ance tic kets can be pur c hased

cr ystal!!!

to feel a little guilty not allowing Davy to contextualize

at Chop Suey Books and Chop Suey

these quotes. So we’ r e going to be the big ger people and


-i would love to take you to my favorite swimming spot.

give Davy w hat he has ne ver of fer ed: the oppor tunity to

i’m in texas for a fe w days, but maybe we could hang out

explain himself out of the ba g.

this weekend sometime? i’m actually gonna be staying out

Editor’s note: this ar tic le w as in no w ay a paybac k for the publication of

at this little cabin on a lake in c helsea for about 10 days

OK, guilty as c har ged -- I do consor t with mer maids and

the following letter in Found Maga-

star ting this weekend, so i would love to bring you out

monster s, and it’s tr ue, that gir l’s dad didn’ t w ant her

zine #2: “Shelley, I got so housed at

ther e or have you come for a visit anytime...

hanging out with me at the g ar a ge sale. But conver tible

Mojo’s last night I took a cr ap in my

sc hmunver tible -- I find you guys dig ging thr ough my email

pants and left my underwear in the

-i apologize for its gr aphic natur e and hope you’ ll still w ant

account a g ain, I’m takin’ a big blac k cr a p on the bac k seat

bathr oom. Want to hang out tonight?

to talk to me after you’ ve r ead it.

of an AWWWSUMMM bright blue Books on Wheels bus. BTW,

-War d”

i tongued those r oofies and hid gum in War d’s bear d w hile 57


P e a c e

with Yoko Ono

B y We ndy H s u

I m a ge c o ur t e s y o f Yo k o O no

On October 9th 2007, John Lennon’s bir thday, Yoko Ono unveiled the Imagine Peace Tower in Reykjavik, Iceland. Ono conceived of the concept for the Tower in 1965. At the time, John Lennon dreamed of having the light tower in his garden. Ono said, “Maybe this is John’s garden.” In the late 1960s, John and Yoko began the “Imagine Peace” campaign as a par t of the anti-war effor t against the U.S. occupation of Vietnam. They utilized mass media such as magazines, newspapers, billboards, and television, as a vehicle to spread pacifist messages to a wide audience. A famous project central to their campaign was the “Bed-in,” a series of two week-long press-conference-like performance ar t events in a hotel room—first in Amsterdam and then in Montreal—following their celebrity wedding, with the objective of turning the star-craving media attention upon themselves into a sit-in protesting against the Vietnam War. During the course of the week, John and Yoko spoke to celebrities, politicians, activists, world leaders, and journalists who visited and phoned in to discuss issues related to war, violence, inequalities, pacifist strategies, media, etc. Dressed in all-white pajamas, they held protest signs and led sing-alongs with other musicians and ar tists. To John and Yoko, world peace is a possibility only after a critical mass of people imagine it as a possibility first and then adopt it in their everyday lives. Yoko Ono, now 74 years photos by Tetsuro Ha m a d a

old, has extended the John and Yoko anti-war agenda into the early 21st century political and technological context. The most recent form of the “Imagine Peace” campaign involves the implementation of her website (, a vir tual hub serving to enlist people around the world to rehearse the idea of peace while enacting it by repeating the mantra of “imagine peace” in various ways in their daily lives. For example, she encourages downloading desktop graphics, website banners, and Myspace icons from her site. Ono also has a Myspace and Facebook page. On the main page of the site, Ono keeps a log of news about her recent activist and ar t projects. For example, a recent post displays Ono’s statement of suppor t for Aung San Suu Kyi, the political leader currently imprisoned for her free-Burma resistance. In addition, on her website Ono has included an instructional page for her performance ar t piece “Wish Piece,” soliciting par ticipants to create personally designed peaceful messages to be exhibited on a tree. Ono has re-contextualized a Japanese traditional practice for the objective of world peace. This effor t is joined by Ono’s “Wish Tree” gallery exhibits, from which she has collected peace wishes around the world. So far, she has collected a sum of 495,000 wishes. The Imagine Peace Tower is a large, minimalist structured light beam, projected upward into the pitch-black sky of Reykjavik’s night with solemnity and strength. The structure is comprised of a 55foot platform that sits on a 6.5-foot tall wishing well, onto which “imagine peace” is inscribed in twenty-four languages. Ono plans to bury the peace wishes in “capsules” around the Imagine Peace Tower while planting a tree on top of each capsule. She envisions an eventual forest symbolizing the world’s collective wish for peace. Sean Lennon and Ringo Starr par took of the celebration as Ono’s entourages. In a speech, Ono invoked the intent of the tower: “We are here together. Billions of us. Standing at the dawn of a new age determined to shift the axis of the world to health, peace and joy by loving and caring for all lives on Ear th.” The presentation ended with her performance of “Onochord,” an interactive flashlight 59

performance piece signaling the phrase “I love you.” Echoing the logic of many of her performance ar t pieces, the Imagine Peace Tower is not only a reflection of the ar tist’s vision. Moreover, it is a socially engaged imperative that ignites, sustains, and augments peace as a mental state and a practice among individuals in the world. Ar t, in this case, is not created for the sake of ar t only, but for a social cause. Ono’s anti-violence activist agenda has been consistent in her ar t projects since her participation in the Fluxus movement in the late 1950s. In 1964, she performed “Cut Piece,” a Fluxus performance-based work in which she kneeled on stage while instructing her audience to cut off pieces of her clothing. The compelling images of feminine fragility and body violence evoked in this piece, some thought, challenged the assumptions about the role and representation of women in contemporary society. Others interpreted “Cut Piece” to be a contestation of the Vietnam War. Since then, Ono has par ticipated in number activist music projects. Her 1995 album Rising , a collaborative project with Sean Lennon’s ar t rock band IMA, voiced social concerns for HIV-positive individuals. To mobilize suppor t for gay marriage she re-rendered a 1980 hit on Double Fantasy, “Every Man Has a Woman Who Loves Him” into queer friendly versions – “Every Man Has a Man Who Loves Him” and “Every Woman Has a Woman Who Loves Her.” Fur thermore, she played a crucial role in Amnesty International’s production of two compilation albums: the first one, entitled Wake Up Everybody , is a post-911, politically charged album containing her re-make of “Give Peace a Chance;” the second one is titled Make Some Noise and is an effor t to raise global awareness on human rights crisis in Darfur. Ono’s production of peace hopefully speaks to a wider audience than ever before. It’s been more than 40 years since the emergence of the Beatles-related myth about Ono. My sense is that people are now star ting to pay serious attention to her ar tistic and political contribution. Among the recent key advocates for Ono are” Thurston Moore, Pet Shop Boys, Cyndi Lauper, Laurie Anderson, as well as cultural critic bell hooks. I watched the unveiling ceremony broadcast on Icelandic TV that night. The spectacle exuded peace, serenity, warmth, and social connectedness. When the children’s choir sang Lennon’s “Imagine” in Icelandic, the brims of my eyes got a little moist. For over thir ty years, Ono has not ceased for a moment to instill positivity into the world. “Negative thoughts are a luxury we can’t afford,” Ono notes on her website. Yoko Ono’s message of courage, pacifism, and love, I hope, will continue to reach and move more individuals in the world. To me, Ono-ism is pacifism in its most poetic and imperative form. 60







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H e r s m e ll f ille d it s no s t rils, the scent a po t e nt c o c k t a il c o m p r is e d of equal par ts fear a n d s w e a t . T ha t t a nt a lizing ar oma s welled w it hin t he b e a r ’ s he a d , but the gir l w as no lo nge r t he r e . Sa r a ha d t a k e n ho ld o f the pic kup’ s under p inn ing, a nd t he blo w had pulled her along t he g r o und w it h t he v e hic le. Ne ver befor e ha d s he b e e n s o t ha nk f ul that she had put o n ex t r a c lo t hing, but t hat didn’ t c hange the f a c t t ha t t he b e a r w a s coming for her. It w a s n’ t go ing t o lo s e inter est until she w as d e a d . Wo r s e ye t , s he had just lear ned that it c o ul d m ov e t he t r uc k. She had to do s o m e t hing, but w ha t w a s ther e to do? She w o n d e r e d if s o m e one would ar ri ve on t he s c e ne , a nyo ne but her mother, w ho w o uld b e t he m o s t lik e ly candidate for suc h a n a p p e a r a nc e . Wa s t her e something in the b a c k o f t he t r uc k t ha t s he could use? Did it m a t t e r ? T he b e a r w a s bac k ther e.


by J a m e s Way la nd I llus t r a t io n by Ad a m Jur e s k o

She ha d t o d o s o m e t hing. Sar a quic kly r o lle d t o t he d r i v e r ’ s side of the tr uc k, r e m e m b e r ing t ha t t he window had been s ha t t e r e d . She s lid f r ee and jumped up,

r eac hing thr ough the ja g ge d o p e ning a nd leaning on the hor n for a n ins t a nt b e fo r e immediately slamming down o n he r b e hind and duc king bac k beneath t he t r uc k . As t he panting bear dashed to the s o u r c e o f t he sound, she furiously scuttle d int o t he o p e n air behind the tr uc k. In an instant, she w as on he r f e e t , r ip p ing the hatc h open with one ha nd a nd b r a c ing her self a g ainst the tailg at e w it h t he o t he r. T he bear w as coming; as she jum p e d up a nd over, deftly for cing her self int o t he na r r o w g a p, she saw a blac k bur r a c ing t o w a r d he r. As she tumbled into the cam p e r s he ll, t ho s e deadly c laws cut thr ough t he a ir, r ip p ing the hatc h aw ay and sending it s p ir a ling t o the gr ound, w her e the gla s s s ha t t e r e d o n impact. T hen the hair y behemoth w a s r e a c hing fo r her as she cr awled tow ar d t he c a b, f ind ing her self in a vir tual nest of t o o ls t ha t p r o d ded her f lesh at str ange a ng le s. She f e lt her hooded s weatshir t tight e ning a nd r e a l ized she had been taken int o t he b e a r ’ s g r ip as she w as pulled bac kw ar d . S he s e iz e d a pitc hfor k and br aced her f e e t a g a i ns t t he

t a ilg a t e , t he m us c le s in he r c a lv e s a nd t hig hs s t r a ining a s s he r e s is t e d t he g r o w l in g b e a r ’ s m ig ht . U s ing t he m o m e nt um t ha t b r o ug ht he r but t o c k s a nd lo w e r b a c k o f f t he m e t a l b e d o f t he t r uc k , Sa r a p la nt e d t he p it c h fo r k in t he b e a r ’ s f a c e , s c r e a m ing a s t w o o f t he p r o n g s p ie r c e d t he a n im a l’ s c he e k a nd o ne s t a b b e d it ins id e it s g a p ing m a w. She w a s ins t a nt ly r e le a s e d a s t he b ig b e a s t h o w le d a nd s t um bl e d b a c k w a r d , t a k ing t he p it c hfo r k w it h it . T he ex ha us t e d t ee n f e ll in t he o p p o s it e d ir e c t io n, g r o a nin g a s s he la nd e d o n t he c lus t e r o f t o o ls t ha t r e m a ine d . T he b e a r r ip p e d t he p it c hfo r k a w ay f r o m it s m o ut h a nd blo o d g us he d f r o m t he t hr e e p unc t ur e s. T he c o a r s e f ur t ha t lin e d it s c hin a nd t hr o a t w a s no w t ho r o ug hly m a t t e d w it h blo o d , a n d t he a nge r t ha t ha d s t a r t e d t o t w is t it s f e a t ur e s w a s n o w int e r t w ine d w it h a d e s p e r a t e m a d ne s s t ha t Sa r a ha d ne v e r b e he l d b e fo r e . N o t hing m a t t e r e d t o t he p r im e v a l m o ns t r o s it y t ha t lum b e r e d b e fo r e he r but d e a t h. T ha t w a s t he o nly t hing t ha t c o uld p o s s ibly s a t is f y it s s a v a ge h unge r. T his w a s w r o ng, a ll w r o ng. T he g ir l a nd t he b e a r lo c k e d eye s, o ne t e r r if ie d but d e t e r m ine d t o s ur v i v e a nd t he o t he r f ue l e d by r a ge a nd i ns a nit y. T he b e a s t s no r t e d a nd Sa r a s a w s o m e t hi ng in it s eye s t ha t t o ld he r it w a s c o m ing in fo r a n o t he r a t t a c k . T he la s t a t t a c k . T he r e w o uld b e no s t o p p ing it t his t im e , no m a t t e r ho w b a d s he m a na ge d t o hur t it .

She w o u ld s uf f e r t he s a m e f ate as the two fools s he w a s c e r t a in w e r e ult im a tely r esponsible for a l l o f t hi s. I t w a s go in g t o pic k at her car cass if s he c o uld n’ t f ind a w ay to kill it, and she w o uld b e a ble t o d o no t hing but scr eam and b e g fo r he lp t ha t w a s n’ t c o ming, just like those b e fo r e he r. She s c a n ne d t he v arious tools she w a s ne s t le d in, r e a liz ing it w as a hopeless al t e r na t i v e , w hile ho p ing t her e w as something ne a r by t ha t c o uld t ur n t his hor rid tide in her f a v o r. I t w o uld ha v e t o b e s o m e t hing good, because it w o uld b e h e r fo r c e b e hind it, and a test of s t r e ng t h a g a ins t t he b e a r w as suicide. “ We ll, k is s my g r it s, ” Sa r a said, sur prised to f ind t ha t s h e w a s s m iling. She scr ambled to t he o t he r s id e o f t he t r uc k , shoving a hoe and a r a k e a s id e s o t ha t s he c o uld r a pidly f lip the la t c he s o p e n o n a bulk y p la stic case. T he b ig b e a r s la m m e d int o the bac k of the t r uc k a g a in a nd s e nt it s lid i ng forw ar d at least s ix f e e t t his t im e . T he t e e n w as sent spr awling a m i d t he t o o ls a nd w a ile d a s something lacera t e d he r s hin, b r ing i ng t e a r s to her eyes. Dust f ille d t he a ir a nd s he w a s in ter rible pain, but 65

Sar a w as undeter r ed. Co ug hi ng a n d s t r ug g l ing t o find her w ay tow ar d the ca s e a g a in, s he s e ns e d t he end dr awing near. T he anim a l w a s d r a w ing c l o s e , gr owing calmer now that it s e ns e d blo o d s he d o n t he horizon. T he bear cautiously a ppr o a c he d t he p o r t a l in t he bac k w her e ther e had bee n a ha t c h o nly m o m e nt s befor e, peering over the ta i lg a t e . I t r e a c he d in w it h both gig antic ar ms, for cing it s e lf a g a ins t t h e t r u c k to extend its r eac h. Sar a pulled the ripcor d a n d t he c ha ins a w in he r gr asp came ali ve with a ba ns he e ho w l. She lunge d forw ar d, bringing the atta c k t o t he b e a s t , t hr u s t ing the w hining c hainsaw int o t he ha ir y m o n s t e r ’ s thr oat. T he wea pon buc k e d in he r h a nd s, t hr e a t ening to veer bac k tow ar d he r, bu t s he d r e w up o n pr e viously unta pped wells o f s t a m ina t o m a int a in contr ol and shoved the shud d e r ing w e a p o n in t o he r enemy. T her e w as a jar r ing c r u nc h a nd a g r ind ing penetr ation that g ave w ay t o a c r im s o n s ho w e r. Sar a w as pelted with f la ps o f s k in a nd w e t c hunk s o f unidentifia ble tissue, and s p ur t ing s t r e a m s o f b r ig ht r ed blood dr enc hed her as t he c ha ins a w c o nt inue d to shrie k and twist. T her e w as a r oar to end all r o a r s, t he g ut t ur a l e q ui v alent of a volcanic er uption. T he r e w a s t he t r e m e n 66

d o us p a in t ha t blo s s o m e d w it hin he r a p p e nd a ge s a s t he b e a r t o o k ho ld o f he r a r m s in a d e a t hg r ip. L a s t ly, t he r e w a s a s p ut t e r a s t h e t hr o b b ing w e a p o n c ut o ut a m id a c lo ud o f p unge nt w hit e s m o k e . T he c ha i ns a w w a s lo d ge d in t he b e a r ’ s b r e a s t p la t e a nd blo o d w a s p o ur ing f r o m t he m a s s i v e w o und it ha d c r e a t e d , s t r e a m ing d o w n t he b e w ild e r e d a n im a l’ s b o dy a nd d r ip p ing t o t he g r o und . T he b e a r s a g ge d b a c k w a r d , p ulling he r a g a ins t t he t a ilg a t e , w he r e he r b o dy w e d ge d . Sa r a s c r e a m e d a s t he a nim a l c o nt inue d t o p u ll; s he c o uld f e e l he r s ho uld e r s s t r a ini ng i n t he ir s o c k e t s a s he r lim b s w e r e s t r e t c he d b eyo nd t he ir no r m a l lim it s. T ho s e d a m n c la w s w e r e d ig g ing int o he r s k in, d r a w ing blo o d , a nd Sa r a w a s s ud d e nly s ur e t ha t t he b e a r w a s go ing t o r ip he r a r m s o f f a s it d ie d . T he w o und e d b e a s t s w aye d o n it s f e e t , s t a r ing a t he r w it h t ho s e a w f ul bla c k eye s t ha t s he w o uld s e e a g a in a nd a g a i n in he r n ig ht m a r e s. T he n t he b e a r ’ s s t a r e b e c o m ing a c c us ing, a s t ho u g h it d id n’ t und e r s t a nd w hy s he ha d c ho se n t o d o i t ha r m . “ Yo u b a st a r d , ” Sa r a s a id , r e a liz ing s he w a s c r y ing o nly w hen s he f e lt t he c o ld t e a r s s lid ing d o w n he r c he e k s. F i na lly it r e le a s e d t he g ir l a s it f e ll b a c k , f inis he d .

T he c ha ins a w w a s s t ill s t uc k in its c hest and t hr o a t , c lo g g ing t he a nim a l’ s airw ays, and e ver y b r e a t h it t r ie d t o d r a w w a s a w heezing gur gle t ha t w a s a t o nc e b o t h s ic k e ning and pitiful. Sud d e n ly t he b e a r s a t up, s t r ug gled to continue up w a r d , a s t ho ug h it w o uld stand a g ain, and Sa r a w a s t e r r if ie d t ha t it w o uld rise like a demon b o r n in t h e d a r k e s t p it s o f hell and continue to s t a l k he r no m a t t e r w ha t . She scr eamed in w hat w a s e it he r joy o r m a d ne s s w hen it fell bac kw ar d, p it c he d a b o ut fo r a f e w m o r e wr etc hed seconds a n d t h e n g r e w s t ill a t lo ng last. Sa r a c lim b e d o u t o f t he t r uc k after some time a n d c r a w le d t o w a r d t he b ig bear. She stopped jus t s hy o f it , s t a r ing int e ntly at the animal’s m a n g le d r e m a ins. An a w f ul ac he filled her. Still c r y ing, s t ill t e e t e r ing o n t he brink of madness, t he b a t t e r e d g ir l k ne lt b e fo r e the f allen monster, r a k ing he r f i nge r t ip s t hr o ug h the bear’s matted ha ir a nd a p o lo g iz ing fo r a ll that had tr anspir ed b e t w e e n t he m . T he s un s e t a nd t he n ig ht gr e w dar k with the ex c e p t i o n o f t he f e e ble lig ht pr ovided by a small s li v e r o f t he m o o n, w hic h d r enc hed the gir l and t he d e a d b e a r in a s o f t blue glow.

Thursdays With Paul By Danielle Ahart

I recently interviewed author/Dracula exper t Paul Bibeau about his new book, Sundays with Vlad, From Pennsylvania to Transylvania, One Man’s Quest to Live in the World of the Undead . After an hour of hysterical laughter and very little headway, I got just one serious quote out of the man: “The Paul Bibeau of 2007 would never go back to the Paul Bibeau of 2004.” I first met Paul four years ago at an open mic in the crummy little town of Fredericksburg, Virginia. Anybody who was anybody would attend the ever-popular open mic at Orbit’s on Monday nights. The hardcore open-mikers would be there promptly at 8 p.m., myself included, because I’m really anal, and because it was definitely the highlight of my week in that crummy little town of Fredericksburg, Virginia. On this par ticular night, I signed myself up to play my piano and sing, then promptly sat down with a beer and looked for new faces. I scanned the room and saw the same old hacks, save one. A man in his thir ties was sitting alone with a Sam Adams and a pile of wrinkled papers that he was rifling through anxiously, unaware that a young lady was eyeing him suspiciously. I didn’t talk to him because I was 21-years-old, and he was not a wimpish-looking dude in a cowboy shir t with an acoustic guitar strapped to his back. Had I known what he had up his sleeve that night, I wouldn’t have wasted a moment in effor t to get to know this hysterical, awkward, and outrageous man. Paul Bibeau got called to the stage that night, and with a few pieces of white paper and a wooden podium, he stood behind the microphone and proceeded to recite for the audience and anyone else out there who was listening, a piece entitled, “If you’re not par t of the solution, you’re me.” That night my friends and I were won over by this man and spent Monday nights for the next year with him, stifling jerk-ass comments about our fellow performers and getting drunk on good beer. I lost touch with Bibeau until recently. I found out about a week before Halloween

this year that Bibeau not only had a new book out delving into the history of the undead, but he was coming to my town to read excerpts from this rollicking good time that he calls a book. I got a group of my friends together and surprised him at Fountain Bookstore, where I came to find out the entire staff had also discovered my Bibeau and Sundays with Vlad and had fallen in love just as quickly as I did four years ago. My oppor tunity to show him off as one of the most enter taining, intelligent, and absurd people has come with this ar ticle. I spent the afternoon talking with him and trying to find out what he’s been up to for the past few years and discovered he’s made some gigantic strides. Not only is Sundays with Vlad his first work put out by a major publisher, Three Rivers Press, but the book, which has received a gaggle of great reviews, was the pick of the week in Parade Magazine , and was number one on the Occult booklist on (putting the famous Satanic Bible at a close number two). While Bibeau takes sideways journeys throughout the book to Goth par ties and funnel cake vendors at a carnival in Wildwood, New Jersey, he also did his research to discover the tie (or lack thereof) between the historical figures Vlad the Impaler and Bram Stoker’s Count Dracula. Two trips to Romania and three years later, Paul Bibeau has gained some of the notoriety he’s been looking for. When I asked Paul if he felt like a complete success at this point, he laughed and said no. He said, “I can’t go to my Dad yet and say, ‘See? It’s a good thing I didn’t go the Naval Academy like you wanted.’ ” But he’s cer tainly a lot closer. He still has the stress of attaining new readers for his book, saying, “You don’t even have to read it, if you could just send me a check or some shit I can pawn or maybe even just a big sack of rice, that’d be great.” He spends his days drumming up new ideas for books and shor t pieces in the future, such as a werewolf self-help book for people out there who suffer from lycanthrope, a.k.a. werewolfery. The tagline for this new thriller: “I have lycanthrope, but it doesn’t have me!” I was pretty overwhelmed by the entire experience of seeing Paul again and talking with him and being barraged with insanely funny anecdotes every five seconds. To understand fully the character, energy, and sheer genius of this man, you’ll just have to read his book. It’s called Sundays with Vlad , and is available at the Fountain Bookstore, on, and any number of other bookstores you might find. If you’d like a taste of Paul’s writing, you can go to his blog, which is You can also visit the website for the book at Do yourself a favor and pick up a copy.

Paul Bibeau is a former editor and contributor to Maxim magazine. He has written for the Washington Post, Mademoiselle, the New York Observer, Cosmopolitan, and the New York Post. His wife won’t let him by a cape. 67


Illuministas M o d e l s - A n n a , C a i t li n a n d M a g gi e A r t D i re c t i o n - L i n d s a y B e n s o n a n d Ch r i s t i a n Detres P h o t o g ra p hy - L i n d s a y B e n s o n Cl o t h i n g p ro i v i d e d by re t a i l s t o re s Ru m o rs a nd Euro t ra h . A d di t i o n a l d e s i g n s by S a i nt G ra c e a n d Yu Cl o t h i n g J e we l r y p rov i d e d by S t i r S t u di o s , S hy S i re n a nd Belli s i m a Pu rs e a n d b ra c e l e t by Ec o i s t




T h a n ks g o o u t t o a l l t h e p e o p l e t h a t h e lp e d m a k i n g t h i s s h o o t h a p p e n . S p e c i a l t h a n ks t o a ll t h e f r i e n d s t h a t d o n a t e d l a m p s - e s p e c i a ll y E l e p h a n t To e A n t i q u e s i n C a r y t o w n . N o t t o b e fo rg o t t e n i s M i ke G a r re t t , w h o s e p a t i e n c e i s l e g e n d a r y. R u m o r s , t h a n ks f o r t h e t r u s t a n d h o s p i t a li t y. I a l s o w a n t t o p u t o u t a h e a r t y w e l c o m e t o Eu ro t ra s h , t h e n e w Eu r o p re a n s t y l e e m p o r i u m i n C a r y t o w n . I a s s u re y o u , i f y o u w a n t t o w e a r s o m e t h i n g n o o n e e l s e h a s , g o t h e re . G o a n d s a y h e l l o t o A n n , s h e’s n i c e , a n d n o t t o o h a r d o n t h e e y e s e i t h e r. 74


The Richmond Folk Festival: If It Ain’t Broke. . .

I n t h i s r e g i o n , we ’ ve a l r e a d y s e e n t h a t p u t t i ng experts and

By Don Harrison

a r t s p e rs o n n e l i n p o s i t i o n s o f a u t h o r i t y c a n be a surefire fo r m u l a fo r s u c c e s s . T h e Vi rg i n i a M u s e u m of Fine Arts’

Richmond’s third an d f i n a l ye a r a s t h e h o s t ci t y o f t h e

r e c e n t f u n d r a i s i n g g o a l wa s “ t h e m o s t s i g n i ficant cultural

prestigious National Fo l k Fe s t i va l c o u l d n ’ t h ave b e e n m o r e

c a mp a i g n eve r a t t e mp t e d i n Vi rg i n i a . ” O ve rseeing VMFA’s

of a triumph — splen d i d we a t h e r, i n fe c t i o u s c r ow d s a n d a

s u c c e s s f u l c a mp a i g n wa s a b o a r d o f t r u s t e e s mostly made

packed lineup of wo r l d c l a s s m u s i c a l a n d c u l t u r a l o f fe r-

u p o f a r e a a r t s p r o fe s s i o n a l s , c o l l e c t o rs , e d ucators, histo -

ings combined to m a ke i t t h e m o s t s u c c e s s f u l a n d we l l -

r i a n s a n d a r t s w r i t e rs . I t t o o k t h e c u l t u r a l body less than

attended National Fo l k Fe s t i va l i n s t a l l m e n t eve r ; a p r o u d

a ye a r t o r a i s e $ 171 m i l l i o n fo r t h e p l a n n ed expansion,

moment for the city fo l l ow i n g t h e t a i n t o f r e c e nt p o l i t i c a l

e xc e e d i n g i t s s t a t e d g o a l by m o r e t h a n $ 2 0 million.

scandals, not to men t i o n a h e l l u va g o o d t i m e . W h i l e t h e r e a r e i n d e e d r e p r e s e n t a t i ve s f r o m the business The National Counci l o f T r a d i t i o n a l A r t s , Ve n tu r e R i ch -

c o m m u n i t y o n V M FA’ s b o a r d , o n e c o u l d s ay that having

mond, and all who sat o n t h e E xe c u t i ve , S t e e r i n g , P r o g r a m -

s av v y, a r t s - f i rs t p e o p l e a c t i ve ly i n vo lve d a nd leading the

ming and Marketing C o m m i t t e e s o f t h e Fe s t i va l s h o u l d

p r o c e s s wa s t h e d i f fe r e n c e t h a t m a d e t h e d i fference.

take a bow for their wo r k o n t h e 6 9 t h a n n u a l fe s t i va l , h e l d Oct. 12-14. In my op i n i o n , t h e N F F ’ s R i ch m o n d s t o p wa s

S a m e w i t h R i ch m o n d ’ s i n s t a l l m e n t o f t h e National Folk

such a whopping suc c e s s b e c a u s e i t wa s o n e o f t h o s e r a r e

Fe s t i va l . I n a p r e s s r e l e a s e a f t e r t h e eve n t , Tim Timber-

instances when our c i t y ’ s c o r p o r a t e c o m m u n i t y s aw f i t t o

l a ke , a l o c a l p r o g r a m m i n g c o m m i t t e e m e mber and vol-

actually collaborate a n d wo r k t o ge t h e r w i t h k n ow l e d ge a b l e

u n t e e r t e a m l e a d e r, h a d t h i s t o s ay : “ M y b iggest joy was

arts professionals an d m u s i c e x p e r t s o n a R i ch m o n d - a r e a

t o h e a r a n d s e e t h e p a s s i o n a t e r e s p o n s e o f the audiences

cultur al project. It p a i d o f f .

a t e a ch s t a ge w h e n t h ey r e a l i z e d t h ey ’ d h e ard something


wonderfully special. I t h i n k we ’ r e a l l fe e l i n g p r e t t y p r o u d

I wa s r e m i n d e d o f t h e s e c o n ve rs a t i o n s w h e n I read the

that something like t h i s c o u l d h a p p e n h e r e … a n d w i l l a ga i n ,

Richmond Times-Dispatch t h e d ay a f t e r t h e event and read

with Richmond Folk Fe s t i va l ‘ 0 8 ! ”

o f s o m e l o c a l b a n d s w h o p e rfo r m d o z e n s o f l ocal shows an n u a l ly a l r e a d y l o b by i n g fo r s t a ge s p a c e n e x t year. Fine acts

The feedback I got a t t h e eve n t f r o m o u t - o f - t own v i s i t o rs

a l l , b u t we c a n k i s s t h e b i g o u t s i d e c r ow d s and the special

was overwhelming ly, g u s h i n g ly p o s i t i ve , a n d I a l m o s t fe l t

a u r a g o o d bye i f t h e R i ch m o n d Fo l k Fe s t i val turns into a

like I’d gone to heave n mys e l f a f t e r w i t n e s s i n g M a g g i e I n-

t h r e e - d ay F r i d ay C h e e rs . No o f fe n s e , b u t t his project was

g ram and the Ing ram e t t e s ’ p e rfo r m a n c e o n t h e D o m i n i o n

s u c c e s s f u l b e c a u s e i t wa s d i f fe r e n t .

Stage Saturday night ( e a r l i e r I h a d d r o o l e d ove r t h e e x qu i site guitar playing of We n d e l l H o l m e s o f t h e H o l m e s B r o t h -

I b e l i eve t h a t n e x t ye a r ’ s i n a u g u r a l R i ch m ond Folk Festi -

ers — truly inspiring s t u f f ) . D u r i n g t h e eve n t , I r a n i n t o

va l s h o u l d c o n t i n u e i n t h e ve r y s a m e s p i r i t and with the

people I knew from t h e C a r o l i n a s , D . C . , C h a r lo t t e s v i l l e ,

ve r y s a m e fo c u s e d m i s s i o n — i f yo u b e l i eve the same, drop

Hampton Roads, etc. a n d t h e fe e d b a ck f r o m a l l wa s 10 0 %

a n o t e o f c o n g r a t s t o Ve n t u r e R i ch m o n d a t


l s i m s @ ve n t u r e r i ch m o n d . c o m a n d t e l l t h e m so.

But many of these v i s i t o rs h a d t h e s a m e qu e s t i o n : Wo u l d

A s my g r a n d m a u s e d t o s ay : “ W hy f i x i t ? I t a in’t broke.”

the event continue i n t h e s a m e way n e x t ye a r w h e n Ve nture Richmond take s i t ove r a n d t u r n s i t i n t o t h e R i ch -

( D o n H a r r i s o n i s a R i ch m o n d - b a s e d f r e e l a nce writer and

mond Folk Festival... a n d wo u l d t h e r e s t i l l b e a n e mp h a s i s

t h e c o - fo u n d e r o f w w w. s ave r i ch m o n d . c o m. He was also on

on international dive rs i t y A N D t h e b e s t o f t h e fo l k m u s i c

t h e Na t i o n a l Fo l k Fe s t i va l ’ s l o c a l p r o g r a m m ing committee


t h i s p a s t ye a r a l o n g w i t h t wo d o z e n o t h e r a r ea arts profess i o n a l s a n d w r i t e rs ) 77

illustration by Jeff Smack

Mayor Wilder Issues A Press Release Reconsidering His Plan To Help His Grandson Purchase A Bicycle

clearly become bloated and untenable. The newly appointed

The original bicycle purchase plan,

1. Whether due to inf lation or the f ickle tastes of a ten

or “Kyle’s Bike 2007,” as submitted to

year-old, the model of bicycle has changed many times and

Mayor Wilder by his g randson Kyle,

the planned cost has climbed from $89.95 to $169.99

outlined the funding for said bicycle

(before tax).









discrepancies between the original plan and the version submitted on October 10th.

as such: 50% private (Kyle) funding, with contributions coming from Kyle

2. The original colors for the bicycle were to be purple and

through his weekly allowance; and

gold, colors his Mayorship found more than acceptable.

50% publicly raised funds, contributed

Three months later the colors had shif ted to purple and

by the Mayor.

g reen—still okay. As “Kyle’s Bike 2007” now stands, the scheduled colors are teal and orange, a scheme not only

While the plan was initially g reeted

ug ly, but of fensive to the public in general.

with g reat fanfare by both the general


public and the Mayor’s own family, in

3. The Mayor has still not received a thank-you card for

the ensuing ten months the plan has

his Excellency’s previous Christmas present to Kyle of

Ken Bur ns’ epic documentar y Jazz on DVD. This is not so

careful consideration, the Task Force recommends that

much a discrepancy as an indication that Kyle lack s proper

existing bicycle funds be augmented by extra private and

respect for his elders.

public funding in order to purchase a motor vehicle for Kyle’s future use. Even better, the car could be purchased

4. F inancing projections for “Kyle’s Bike 2007” have

in a wester n state and then shipped here at an additional

changed dramatically as it has become clear that the private


sector (Kyle) is falling woefully shor t of his fundraising goals—probably because of all the money he spends on the

With all of this taken into account, the Mayor can come

damned video games. Cur rent planning now places 85%

to no other conclusion than that the public school system

of the f inancial burden on the taxpayer (the Mayor). As

has failed to educate Kyle in rudimentar y mathematics,

a result of his willful neg ligence in matters of managing

deductive reasoning, and the merit of simple color schemes.

the private funds, Chair of the Bicycle F inance Committee

His Excellency is now in the process of filing a lawsuit

Harold Wilder (Kyle’s father) has been f ired and replaced

against the school system for the difference in thirty years

by Jim Brenneman of Wachovia Securities.

worth of salaries Kyle could have made as a doctor versus the amount he will most likely make as a traveling carnival

5. As Kyle is already only six years from attaining a

worker. Mayor Wilder will also order the Richmond School

driver’s license, the Task Force questions the decision

Board to move their offices to the U-Stor-It storage facility

to purchase a big-ticket item which will become obsolete

on Jefferson Davis Highway.

before the Mayor’s ter m as Grandfather even ends. Af ter 79


Send your letters, co m m e n t s a n d feedback to parker@ r v a m a g . c o m

RVAFirst let me say I appreciate that you are doing something for the community and the scene that no one else is doing. RVA Magazine writes about issues, ar t, music, and events that no one else in the city is touching. The format of the magazine is attractive, and I have an appreciation for the amount of effor t and time it must take to put together. I also really appreciate the tasteful dedication to Richmond hero Jonny Zanin you did earlier this year. Thank you. I was stoked to see a pro-bicycle ar ticle in the back of RVA Vol. 3 Issue 7, “I Want to Ride My Bicycle,” but was quickly disappointed and upset by the content. Your fearless contributor wrote an ar ticle criticizing a cop who was probably just trying to save some kid’s life. The ar ticle minimizes the idea that bicycle safety is impor tant and can be positive. The ar ticle suggests that because bicycles do not pollute, police should have no authority to enforce bicycle safety laws. Bicycle laws not only protect the bicycle rider, but also others who use our public streets. The ar ticle complains that the police have run no awareness campaign before handing out tickets, but publicity campaigns are not the police’s job. That one cop probably just didn’t want to see kids smeared across the street by a giant SUV that couldn’t see them on their bike. As citizens promoting bicycle use, isn’t it OUR job to promote safety? How about this for a public awareness campaign: One of the nicest guys any of us ever met, one of the most genuine people to live in our city and be a par t of our scene died riding his bicycle at night. Sure, a bicycle light might not have saved Jonny Z in his par ticular case, but a helmet might have. The ar ticle is too busy arguing that we can’t afford a bicycle light to acknowledge that people are seriously injured and even die on bikes, people we love, people who do good things. To the argument that we can’t afford bicycle lights - wow, really? Are the lives of our beloved bicycle riders really not wor th the cost of a light or two and a helmet? Who wouldn’t buy a light for your best friend if s/he didn’t have one? Take a look at the hundreds of thousands of dollars wor th in value of the bicycles getting around this city. I know not everyone has an expensive bike, but getting a light for night riding should be 80

par t of your expected expenses for every bicycle rider. If you can’t afford a tube, you don’t ride either. Save up! If you forgo some other extra comfor t in your life, you can afford a light in no time. Riding at night without a light is dangerous for everyone, not just the rider. It’s dangerous for cars on the road, it’s dangerous for pedestrians who can’t see you in time to get out of the way, and most of all it’s dangerous for other bike riders who can’t see or hear you as you whiz thru intersections. What if someone is seriously hur t because of this anti-bicycle-light campaign, perhaps an innocent by-stander, how will the author feel? Likely the author doesn’t realize how many avoidable bicycle accidents occur, even though he is quick to point out statistics on motorized vehicle accidents. If you have a car and the front lights are busted, have you tried the “I can’t afford to get them fixed” excuse? No, you don’t dare drive at night and risk death or serious injury to someone else. Why would it be ok to do so on a bike? Lastly, people should know that there are folks in this city putting together a campaign to get cheap helmets and lights out to people. Contact them at headbangers.ball.rva@ or visit There was a fundraiser recently at NY Deli where they gave out free helmets and collected money to buy more helmets and lights. Also, they put out a zine about helmet safety and distributed more free helmets at the recent Bizarre Market.. I’m pretty sure Recycles has cheap helmets and lights as well. I’m appalled at this ar ticle, but at least it called me to act. If we’re going to campaign for bicycle use as an alternative to cars and other polluting transpor tation, we need to campaign for safety and awareness as well. We don’t know all the laws word for word, but we should be educating our scene on what is safe and how to avoid a ticket. Instead of whining about the cops, let’s police our own community. I challenge RVA to write an ar ticle that actually educates us, in a positive way, about bicycle law and safety. And I challenge RVA readers to send in tips for acquiring cheap safety equipment and tips on riding safer. Our community is our responsibility. Thank you, Michael Otley (in loving memory of Jonny Z)

RVA Volume 3 Issue 8  

Cultural magazine for our beloved Richmond, VA.

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