PRESIDENT Eric Weinstein EDITOR IN CHIEF Lizzie Plaugic DESIGN DIRECTOR Sharanya Durvasula
PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR PHOTOGRAPHERS
DESIGNERS
ILLUSTRATORS
A
The Review crew you won’t see around campus next year
lot has happened these past two months, but it’s all been in déjà vu form: Hasn’t some white dude, first name Rick, claimed the title of Female Reproductive System Expert before? And hasn’t that crazy man in the subway pushed someone onto the tracks before? And I’m sure my dentist has made that joke before. I think it’s the result of some sort of time warp/wormhole/[other science fiction word] that plays every moment on a loop and throws it back into our existence at random, potentially inopportune moments. Then there’s this thing that’s happening: graduation. It’s happened before, many times before, but not to us. And maybe it won’t happen to you for another three years. And by then, you won’t think of it as a repeat of my graduation, but as something unique to you, despite the fact that all the same things happen except for a collective of enlightened poet-clones is speaking at your graduation and I’m not there. So enjoy the new until it’s not new anymore, because it goes fast, kids. It goes fast. Like a hotdog in the hands of Joey Chestnut. Like Lil Wayne’s virginity. Like a really fast bird. But the Review will be back next year, even if I’m not. Until then, check out the issue you’re holding—it’s got tales of fishing on the Raritan, new wave masturbation and deciphering hidden messages in texts. Plus, more tattoos than your mom would be okay with. I wish I could say I love you all, but I don’t even really like you that much.
ART Samantha Kelly Rita Pinkusevich, Michael Petrilli, Max Rosenberg, Taina Noelle Spicer Satinder Kaur Bawa, Nick DiPillo, Rachel Finelli, Derek Springsteen Ali Worthington Nick DiPillo, Truman Lahr, Derek Springsteen
CULTURE CULTURE EDITOR Amanda Matteo CONTRIBUTORS Kristin Baresich, Katelyn Devine, Pooja Kolluri, Alysia M. Slocum ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT A&E EDITOR Ian Gabriel
MUSIC MUSIC EDITOR Sonia Karas CONTRIBUTORS Caleb Rechten POTPOURRI POTPOURRI EDITOR Michael Schwab CONTRIBUTORS Frank Anderson. Benjamin Raphael
STAFF VICE PRESIDENT Zac Schaffner TREASURER Ian Kotliar COPY EDITOR Edward Reep SOCIAL MEDIA EDITOR Kelly Barton PARTY EDITOR Sally Reisch VIDEO EDITOR Russell Dolan ADVISOR PRINTER FRONT COVER BACK COVER
Ronald Miskoff RFM Printing Truman Lahr Derek Sprinsteen Sally Reisch