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c’est la vie A toast to all things vintage. P 09



page two | September 21 2010 | vol. 3 issue 02


The Runner |


Universities could be hit with increased copyright fee Ryerson among those creating legal position against the fee



EDMONTON, TORONTO (CUP) — Sawyer Pow is outraged that he could soon be charged a flat-rate fee of $45 to access digital materials required in his classes. Access Copyright, a leading Canadian copyright license provider, is recommending the new tariff to the Copyright Board of Canada that would overhaul existing policy in an age of increasing digital course material. “That’s ridiculous, it’s already expensive to go to school,” said Pow, a second-year student at Ryerson University in Toronto. “You’re just sharing information, there should be a difference between sharing information and using it for your own gain.” Under the current licensing scheme, a university pays Access Copyright $3.38 per student, as well as 10 cents per copied page, such as with copies used in coursepacks. Access Copyright maintains

that this simply an eventual development as course reading materials gradually shift towards digital. “It’s 2010, first of all, and the way that institutions are using copyright-protected materials is different. There’s still photocopying, but we believe there is a shift to digital uses,” said Erin Finlay, manager of legal services at Access Copyright. “The schools declined to meet with us so we had to make our best guess, but they will be negotiated over time and we’re confident that at the end of the day that they won’t be intrusive or cumbersome,” she said. Finlay said it was still unclear whether the system would be more expensive, as the proposal was now in the hands of the Copyright Board of Canada, which could take two years to three years to approve. The proposal was filed March 30 and the Copyright Board of Canada published the proposal in June. Student groups across the country are raising concern with Access Copyright’s recommendation. “If a teacher tries to send out a hyperlink to an article to a class, saying to the class, ‘Go to this website and read this article,’ they’re saying that that

should count as copying,” said Noah Stewart, a spokesperson for the Canadian Federation of Students. Aden Murphy, chair of the Canadian Alliance of Students’ Associations, doesn’t accept Access Copyright’s argument. “Essentially, their argument is that it’s fine to impose this substantial fee increase because it will be passed onto students, so that they can pay for these articles,” he said. “This isn’t good for students at all.” Concern was also raised about the method Access Copyright would use to evaluate the amount of copying carried out in educational institutions. Universities are also speaking out against the proposed system. Ryerson is involved with a few other institutions in creating a legal position against it. “This doesn’t happen very often that you would have an uniform position all across Canada, all worrying about the costs of it and taking a collective action,” said Ryerson President Sheldon Levy. “Like everyone I’m concerned that there isn’t new costs and double costs,” said Levy. “We’ll have to watch out very carefully at this issue.”





Vancouver Board of Trade Working Super Fair WHERE: Vancouver Convention Centre WHEN: 10:00am-6:00pm WHAT: Need a Job? Check out the largest career fair in the province. Top level companies from across the province will be there recruiting talent.


22 2010

Music @ Midweek WHERE: Langley Campus - Auditorium WHEN: : 12:15pm-1:00pm WHAT: Music @ Midweek is back! Swing by the Langley Campus Auditorium and hear your fix from Kwantlen’s musically incliined



23 2010

‘Night School Thursdays!” WHERE: Grassroots Cafe WHEN: 6:00pm-9:30pm WHAT: Nothing to do around campus? Drop by Grassroots Cafe and grab a cold one with some friends.






Pixar artists offer class in Vancouver KENDRA WONG THE PEAK

Students in Vancouver will have the opportunity to learn from animation’s best this fall, as Pixar is set to host a weekend seminar in the city. The class, titled Masterclass in Animation and Story Development, is a two-day, eight-hour seminar presented by the Vancouver Institute of Media Arts on Sept. 24 and 25. “[We want to give participants] insight into highlevel professional education about what goes into making Pixar-level stuff,” said Andrew Gordon, course instructor and

Pixar animator. Taking place at Simon Fraser University’s downtown Vancouver campus, the curriculum for the first day of animation includes information about staging and prose design, locomotion, acting for animation, facial animation, as well as gestures, planning and blocking for animation. The second day about story development features classes regarding storyboarding, sequence boards and character development and storyboarding from a script. The class is perfect for students who have graduated, as a refresher class, or to

improve existing techniques. “Ultimately, when you’re an animator, you want to create your own stories, but people don’t understand how to get started, and learning that story is the perfect complement.” The seminar corresponds with the opening of the new 7,000-square-foot Pixar studio in Vancouver, which will focus more on the creation of short animation films. “Vancouver is a good city for TV and gaming. Now that we have Pixar moving to the city, we have some high profile studios exposing what it means to . . . take our craft to the feature film level,” explained Gilbert.

WHERE: KSA Offices - Surrey WHEN: 11:30am WHAT: Come out and hear what the KSA has been up to and have your thoughts and opinions heard on important student issues.

Two-day seminar to cover animation and story development


KSA Executive Board Meeting


20 26 2010

Get Involved - Give back week! WHERE: All campuses WHEN: June 25-July 4 WHAT: Check out Kwantlen’s Get involved and Give back week happening across all campuses. Highlights include: Casey Printers of the BC Lions speaking about “Leadership: being who you are destined to be.” | The Runner


vol. 3 issue 02 | September 21 2010 | page three



Want to be an editor for The Runner?

Want to be a part of The Runner? Run for one of our Bureau Chief positions.

Have a strong background in design? Then run for Production Editor Elections will be held Oct.7 at noon at The Runner office. #205-12877 76 Ave., Surrey


There are 11 postions available, including arts and design, creative writing, current events, entertainment, environmental, health, lifestyle, politics, sports, student affairs, travel Elections will be held Oct.7 at noon at The Runner office. #205-12877 76 Ave., Surrey


page four | September 21 2010 | vol. 3 issue 02


The Runner |



On Welcome Week It’s the start of the fall semester which means Kwantlen’s Welcome Week is in full effect. We at the Runner decided to ask you what you thought. This is what you had to say:

Lebanese-born Canadian pop-star, Karl Wolf was a hit with Kwantlen students at this year’s CramJam. The free concert was hosted by the Kwantlen Student Association (KSA) as a welcome back for students. ABBY WISEMAN // THE RUNNER

CramJam goes off without a hitch Despite the negative reputation that CramJam had in the past, the scaled down event was a success in welcoming students back to classes.



After a long day of perusing Welcome Week booths, Kwantlen students chilled out with a beer and pop-singer Karl Wolf at this year’s CramJam. The general atmosphere at the annual event, which was held on Thursday, Sept. 9 on Surrey campus, was happy as old and new students soaked up the vibe. The night opened with local artists Lamar Ashe and Heatwave who got the scattered crowd going. Wolf hit the stage around 7:00 pm, but took his sweet time and spoke to the audience from behind the stage, teasing

them by talking about taking off his shirt to show off his Dubai tan. When he finally appeared on stage, he brought out some good energy, which carried through the whole performance. By the end, he delivered on the no shirt suggestion. Returning students Brock Chatterly and Nevin Macdonald had to help each other figure out who Karl Wolf was while sipping on a beer at Grassroots Cafe. After figuring it out they both agreed that CramJam is better this year because of the beer and the later start. “The school needs to do more stuff like this because

people just come here and they leave and they don’t talk to other people,” said Chatterly. Both agreed that although they might not know the music, it was a worthwhile thing for student life. The KSA funded CramJam has a history of costing too much and not producing. In 2008, the KSA lost $50,000 with Daniel Wesley and Sloan headlining. This year Reena Bali, KSA director of student life and events, says that the KSA stayed on budget by organizing the event themselves instead of hiring an event planner. “I think it’s one of the best ever,” said Bali. “I think all us are really happy for putting

I think it’s cool. I think it’s a good idea, we were saying that it would have been nice to see it sooner.

together CramJam ourselves this year, doing it in house, and staying under budget.” New students Leanza Fee, Aba Ine and Lindsay Danyluk were stoked to hear Wolf’s radio hit Africa, but were more happy to have the chance to mingle with new classmates. “I think it’s awesome, it brings people together who have never met,” said Fee. After the show the Grassroots cafe sponsored by Okanagan Springs Brewery held an after party with $3 beer and a DJ.



What did you think of CramJam? Email us


RICHAN CHARMA BACHELOR OF ENGINEERING FOURTH YEAR “The Welcome Week has been quite pleasant at this time in regards to free food and everything.”

In Photos: Welcome Week

Left: Kwantlen student competes in a Bungee Bouncy running lane challenge at Surrey Campus’ Welcome Week celebrations. Top: Kwantlen Eagles mascot Kwinton takes a break from posing with students to read the newest issue of The Runner. PHOTOS BY MATT LAW// MEDIA EDITOR CUTLINES BY KASSANDRA LINKLATER// NEWS EDITOR

MOHAMMAD BASAMI BACHELOR OF NURSING FOURTH YEAR “It’s been good, but not much good food. I don’t know where the food is, but I cannot see it.”

SPORTS | The Runner

vol. 3 issue 02 | September 21 2010 | page five


Late goals ensure three points for Eagles

Kathleen Gratz takes a shot on goal as the Eagles put pressure on the Timberwolves. She later scored the goal which clinched the win in the Saturday Sept. 11 game. KYLE BENNING // THE RUNNER



The Kwantlen women’s soccer team began their hunt for a second consecutive BCCAA Provincial Championship with a victory over the University of Northern British Columbia on September 11.

Two late goals secured the Eagles a win in their home opener, which also happened to be the first competitive match to be played on the new turf field at Newton Athletic Park. This game marked former UBC Thunderbirds player Gordon Smith’s first league

game as head coach. The Eagles had the better chances in the opening half, but failed to make any of them really count. The rain was a factor that was interfering in the finishing for both sides because they went into halftime with no scoring.

The second half started right where the first one left off. The Eagles continued to press and held the ball in Timberwolves territory for the majority of the second half. After hitting a few posts and crossbars, the ball finally crossed the line from a wonderful individual effort by

Shanay Sangha on 80 minutes. It took less than two minutes for the Eagles to double their lead after Kathleen Gratz tapped in from close range. There were some good saves from goalkeeper Melina Gomez and a number of tackles by skipper Brittany McNeill at the heart of defence.


Varsity Soccer: Men’s team off to a rocky start I


On Sept. 12, the Kwantlen Eagles kicked off the men and women’s soccer team season against the University of Northern British Columbia Timberwolves. The men came into the first game of the season with a 2-0-0 record, winning both of their preseason matches. Although Coach Ajit Braich was not

anticipating a victory for the young gun Eagles, he did predict a quick and competitive game. The game started off great for the Eagles when in the ninth minute freshman striker Gino McLeod scored the game’s first goal as a result of an effective high pressure defence. The Timberwolves attempted to rebound quickly with some all out offensive play. However, their only shot

OPT-OUT NOTICE Jacob Starheim crosses a ball into the 18 yard box trying to create a chance for the team. KYLE BENNING // THE RUNNER

Opt-Outs for The Runner (“Student Publication Fee”) will be available from Sept. 28 at The Runner’s head office: #205-12877 76 Ave. Surrey, B.C. For more information, please call us at 778.565.3801 or e-mail

Don’t forget to prepare to bring your Student ID and proof of registration

went wide. In the sixteenth minute Josh Miles beautifully played the ball into McLeod who shot the ball off the keeper and into the net. Up 2-0 the Eagles seemed a confident group. In the twentieth minute Rakan Alquwayfili opened the scoring for the T-Wolves. Alquwayfili was issued a yellow card afterwards for unsportsmanlike conduct. The T-Wolves never looked back after that point, laying on tons of pressure throughout the half. In the thirty-seventh minute Ryan Sidhu committed a careless check from behind,

resulting in a yellow card and more importantly, a penalty shot for the Timberwolves. Tyson Williams scored. From that point on the Eagles applied large amounts of offensive pressure. However it was not enough. In the fifty-fifth minute number ten, Daniel Dell scored for the Timberwolves following a yellow card offence from Kellen Strobi in the fifty-first. The Eagles fired off four shots before Nick StornessBliss received a questionable red card in the Timberwolves’ eighteen yard box. Soon thereafter number

nineteen John Sexton put the nail in the coffin for the Timberwolves, scoring in eighty-eighth minute. Although some questionable referring may have come into play there was one obvious reason for the Eagles loss, discipline. On the day Coach Braich was pleased with the Eagles play and understands that with a new team there is a long learning process. Even though the Eagles have six returning players on the roster, Braich decided to start the game with nine of his eleven freshmen and only one of his veterans. The Eagles lost 4-2.

page six | September 21 2010 | vol. 3 issue 02



The Runner |


The Runner is student owned and operated by Kwantlen Polytechnic University students, published under Polytechnic Ink Publishing Society. Vol. 3, Issue no. 02 September, 21 2010 ISSN# 1916-8241 #205-12877 76 Ave. Surrey, B.C. V3W 1E6

EDITORIAL DIVISION: Co-ordinating Editor // Abby Wiseman Culture Editor // Kristi Alexandra News Editor // Kassandra Linklater Production Editor // Cat Yelizarov Media Editor // Matt Law

BUREAU CHIEFS: Arts & Design // Mae Velasco Creative Writing // Jared Vaillancourt Current Events // Natsumi Oye Entertainment // (Vacant) Environmental // (Vacant) MELFACE FRASER // THE RUNNER

Health // (Vacant)


Lifestyle // Jeff Groat Politics // (Vacant) Sports // Michela Fiorido Dominic Sramaty Student Affairs // Chris Yee Travel // (Vacant)

Sleep is as important as studying Without a good night’s sleep, your memory is like a sieve

CONTRIBUTORS: Matthew Bossons, Jeffrey Yip, Chris Yee, Andrew Littler, Kyle Benning, Carlie Auclair Cover Art // Cat Yelizarov

BUSINESS DIVISION: Operations Manager // DJ Lam Office Co-ordinator // Victoria Almond Operations Assistant // Brittany Tiplady Distribution // The Now Newspaper



WATERLOO, Ont. (CUP) — “I just pulled an all-nighter and I am not sure all that cramming worked. I just finished the exam and what I thought I had retained simply disappeared,” I overheard as I followed two students down the hall. I was tempted to intervene and provide them with some unsolicited advice, but I resisted as they carried on down the hall. I was going to remind them of some new evidence that links a good night’s sleep with memory retention, all of which seriously questions that old and outdated wisdom that suggests studying all night will enhance that next morning’s exam performance. Recent research suggests that when people learn new skills or information, their retrieval performance does not improve until after they have had more than six — and preferably eight — hours of sleep. What students have studied or tried to learn does

not get properly encoded in their brain’s memory circuits. This research has identified a critical association between memory banks, retrieval and the first and last stages of a night’s sleep. This data has some very important implications for institutions such as universities, academies, medical schools and the military — institutions that attempt to train or educate people after long periods of sleep deprivation. I have tried to learn new skills under the stress of sleep deprivation before, as a “draftee” during my basic training with the 101st Airborne Division in the U.S. Army. It was futile trying to learn to strip a .30 calibre, water-cooled machine gun while suffering from severe sleep debt after being roused out of bed at 5:00 a.m. I am sure our field first sergeant never once thought that our performance on the firing range might be affected by lack of sleep. How many current students will try for greater sleep in the midst of October’s mid-terms or the coming final exams in December? Only a very small, but wise minority will do so. In experiments in sleep laboratories, individuals who

slept for eight solid hours get healthy bouts of two kinds of sleep. The first two hours are spent in deep, slow-wave sleep while the last two hours were spent in REM (rapid eye movement) sleep. Those who received both types of sleep tended to have much better retrieval for materials they had learned the day before. Even those students tested two to three days to a week after their training could do the visual tasks given to them faster and more accurately. Recent neuroscience research has provided an explanation for such phenomena. During the first two hours of sleep certain brain chemicals are in steep decline as information flows out the hippocampus and into the cerebral cortex. During the next four hours, the brain engages itself in an active neurochemical conversation during which the information is distributed, categorized and networked. During the last two hours of sleep, brain chemistry and activity again change drastically as the cortex goes into an active dreaming state. The memory region is now shut off from the cortex as the brain literally re-enacts the learning and solidifies the

new connections in its memory banks or what is referred to as “consolidation.” Students who don’t get enough sleep will not integrate the new material, facts or concepts into their memories. Making such healthy sleep even more difficult, university students tend to suffer from a form of “sleep bulimia.” This involves purging, wherein they try to get by on three to five hours of sleep per day and binge by sleeping around the clock on weekends. Most of the information learned during a sleepdeprived period, however, will likely be lost; the forgetting curve is remarkably steep. So experts have concluded that how well university students do on an examination apparently does not depend on what high school they attended, their graduating GPA, SAT scores or even I.Q. measures, and tragically not even on how hard they may have tried. Rather, such academic success mostly depends on how well they slept the night before. The advice I might give to the two students I followed down the hall that day might really be very simple: “Just as your mother or father might suggest, please do get a good night’s sleep!”

REVIEWS | The Runner

vol. 3 issue 02 | September 21 2010 | page seven


No Fun City fights “the war on fun” at Rickshaw Vancouver knows how to throw a party, but whether or not those parties are legal is another issue. Themes of DIY culture, loud music and illegal venues were explored at the encore screening of documentary “No Fun City” on Sept. 4 at the Rickshaw Theatre.




ancouver , or “No Fun City” as some call it, has seen a lack of entertainment and culture beyond what can be found in the Granville Strip and the Vancouver Art Gallery. Still, some manage to eke out an existence producing emerging culture–like those in Vancouver’s underground and independent music scene–jammed together in the dense city with sometimes unappreciative neighbours and, worse yet, locked in eternal battle with city ordinances to make (and perform) noisy art. When filmmakers Melissa James (a former Montrealite) and Kate Kroll (an Albertan transplant) came to Vancouver, they decided to make a film about it as soon as they settled in–and what better for their endeavour than to call it No Fun City. The film’s website says the documentary is “a film about DIY culture, loud music, illegal venues and the war on fun.” It is a series of vignettes and interviews tracing the trials and tribulations of promoters and performers in

Vancouver’s underground. Seemingly impressionistic at first, a survey of reactions ranging from the not-so-quiet desperation of the Cobalt’s Wendy Thirteen, as well as the Rickshaw’s David Duprey and Malice Liveit (formerly of the Sweatshop) in dealing with “slumlords”, misunderstandings with their neighbours, and misunderstandings with the city, to the fuck-it-all hipster insouciance of the various conspirators involved with the Emergency Room (one of them, Keith Wecker, who originally started the venue by putting on shows in an underground parking lot near the Emily Carr Institute [now University] of Art and Design back in 2006). A clearer picture of the situation and its possible solutions emerges as the film progresses. There are really no clear answers, but apparently the filmmakers intend No Fun City to be a call-to-arms of sorts, which it just might be if one is so inclined. Indeed, judging by the hefty group attendance, many seemed partial to the cause. The Safe Amplification Site Society, a group of local musicians and artists raising funds and who support

for a legal, permanent, allinclusive and all-ages venue in Vancouver offered buttons of various designs in exchange for donations. Of course, what’s a fundraiser show without an actual show? The concert kicked off with a trio of the current crop of Vancouver punk bands. Vapid played the first set solidly, though coming dangerously close to sounding just like Hole in the second half of their set. The normally dark Twin Crystals, who actually seemed in pretty light spirits on stage this time around, played the second set. Defektors started the third set with a clean sound, but got progressively dirtier as they got closer to their garage-punk roots toward the end their set. Next came Vancouver punk veterans The Furies (who played “Vancouver’s first punk gig” in 1977) and then, of course, the legendary Subhumans, billed as the show’s “special guests”. Between the two bands, the night closed off with appropriately solid sets, bringing everything back down to its roots: a veritable celebration of the Vancouver underground music scene.



Bridesmaid Handbook a handy how-to guide

The Knot Bridesmaid Handbook Help the Bride Shine Without Losing Your Mind By Carley Roney and the editors of




s my cousin’s Maid of Honour, I was on duty–by her side–when she came across The Knot – Bridesmaid Handbook. We were looking through wedding magazines and books that lead up to the “Big Day” at Chapters. The Bride-To-Be suggested that I buy

The Subhumans surprised supporters of the No Fun City cause as the bill’s “special guests” on Saturday Sept. 4 at the Rickshaw Theatre. CHRIS YEE // THE RUNNER

this book. Without hesitation, I picked it up. Taking my job seriously as her MOH, I want her dream wedding to come true. The next day, I could not put the book down. I actually finished it that day. If you’re looking to know the duties of a bridesmaid look no further. This book tells it all. For one, I knew for sure that I’d be racking up money to plan the bridal shower and bachelorette party since this is one of my duties as Maid of Honour. The book taught me, that aside from those things, the dress, hair, makeup, shoes, accessories, and gifts would also be on my tab. Needless to say that–yes, it is a great honour to be a bridesmaid, but be aware that money will always be basically involved as well too. The Knot’s Bridemaid Handbook is a cute book that gives tips on how to get the bride to go for the bridesmaid dress that you’ve spotted or how to handle a very bossy bridesmaid. There are also anecdotes of bridesmaids who have gone overboard in more ways than one, and stories of misbehaving brides. The book definitely lists the duties to make the day as special as possible.

Local developers show off at PAX Owner of VBlank Entertainment, Brian Provinciano, releases Retro City Rampage, an “open world action parody”. I ANDREW LITTLER


or the past few years, the Penny-Arcade Expo (or PAX, for short) has been attracting legions of video game developers and their proposed clientele. Whereas the Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3) is almost entirely for the press and media, PAX is an expo for the actual fan base. Over the years, PAX’s most reputable offerings have been the independently developed games shown off on the convention floor - PAX 10 was no exception with VBlank Entertainment’s Retro City Rampage. Brian Provinciano (creator/ owner of Vblank Entertainment) describes Retro City Rampage as an “open world action parody […] Grand Theft Auto on the NES in 8-Bit, mashed with everything else. So you can jump on enemies like Mario, you can pick them up and throw them, you’ve got weapons like a bionic arm,

spread shot sight, light gun, and power ups even, so you got a suit you can fly in and speed shoes so you can run really fast and plow through people.” In the first level, you pick up a bomb from someone in an antennae’d blue helmet, and drive through a very green hilly zone while being laughed at by a sadistic dog that pops up out of bushes when you run over someone. The game’s personality really shines when the local crime boss Jester taxis your character (named Player) out of a bank on a yellow school bus, only stopped by the same traffic that flattened a poor frog onto the pavement. Before stealing a certain time traveling booth (and being met by a most eccentric doctor), your progress is hindered both by a curious group of anthropomorphic turtles bearing weapons, a dude named ‘Magnum T’ and a red and a blue guy from a helicopter. All without any apparent copyright suits.

Essentially, it is Scott Pilgrim vs. The World vs. Liberty City. As ridiculous as this game seems to be, it even evolves its genre (however slightly) with actual cover mechanics something not even the latest drop-down GTA game, China Town Wars, had. You can even shoot diagonally! What makes this game even more exciting is the talent behind it; Brian Provinciano, a Vancouver resident and apparent aficionado of ‘90s pop culture. River City Ransom is currently being billed as a WiiWare title, but has been promised to release for at least one more console. I do pray this game is released en masse, nor only for myself to enjoy it, but because Brian and this entire independent developer scene deserves the money as well. It is also confirmed that there will be Doctor Who references in the game. And that is awesome.

page eight | September 21 2010 | vol. 3 issue 02


The Runner |


No more lies I


“Another – over here.” The burning sun shone bright overhead, rippling the landscape as beautiful mirages hinted at phantoms of water against the oppressively white sand. Only the brief shadows of truth, falling gently from the curvaceous, bladed rocks dispelled any glimmer of hope in the bleak desert. Quantum imagers didn’t need to confirm what was plain to the eye; this place was dead. “Let’s pick up the pace!” the man shouted. “C’mon, everyone! It’s already one hundred degrees and still climbing! I will be very, very angry if I die of heat stroke, people!” It was an empty threat, she realized; if the man did indeed expire, his psychological state would be irrelevant. The shorter man next to her scoffed and tapped his arm, passing gloved fingers through nearly invisible holographic controls in the blinding sunlight. He shook his head. “What an asshole,” he muttered. “Oh, hey, let’s check out this planet, guys! Sure, it’s close to its sun, and damn but if it isn’t hot down there, but I’ve got a good feeling we’ll hit pay dirt!” the short man chuckled as his orders were uploaded into her processor. “Idiot. Even if we did find anything, there ain’t no way in hell anyone’s gonna come and mine this dust

ball.” “The limo off this pleasure world leaves in fifteen hours!” the leader was shouting again. Irony, she decided, was his weapon of choice; his vernacular in many previous situations had made little logical sense until she comprehended that simple fact. It was impossible to understand him otherwise. “Step these ladies up!” he added with a clap of his hands. The short man casually touched his controller again. “Now, there’s another reason to quit,” he muttered, casting the leader a sullen look that she was certain he wouldn’t see beneath the short man’s helmet. “Why in the hell aren’t we using standard boring and drilling droids? It’s not like these bots ain’t pretty to look at, but who in their right mind would use gynoids to scout a site?” He gave her a puzzled look. She looked down at the heavy drill in her arms. “Idiot’s either poorer than he let on, or I’ve been hired by some billionaire’s dumb offspring. Well, come now, darling – let’s find us some titanium.” She looked up at him, quantum imagers scanning through the helmet to regard the bored expression on the short man’s face. She took a few steps to the location she suspected he arbitrarily selected and activated her drill. “Hey man, you got any smokes?” another asked of the short man. That worthy replied with a rude gesture, causing

his friend to scoff and attain an aggressive stance. “You wanna crack your EV? Go right ahead,” the short man shouted. “I ain’t helping you boil yourself alive out in this wasteland!” The two of them started a shouting match across the barren sand, their harsh words echoing off of the immense knives of stone that towered everywhere. They were like a city of ebony and ivory, with glistening filaments of crystals that shone brightly in the sun, twinkling as the occupants of the towers laughed and loved and did anything but dig in the sand beyond their homes. She looked down at her drill and continued to bore into the sand. “Yeah, whatever,” the short man grumbled as he appeared by her side, his argument having ended in its predicted stalemate. “Assholes. I’m surrounded by assholes!” She turned her head to regard him, quantum imagers recording brainwave activity and facial expression. A smirk appeared on his face. “At least you’re a good listener, eh, baby?” he said. It took her processor a second to realize he was speaking directly to her. “Hell, if you had skin instead of metal, and were maybe a little more anatomically accurate, I’d show you the town, huh?” he asked, laughing as he tapped his controls again. The imperatives demanded she move closer to the nearest rock and drill beside it. She complied. Pressure sensors

recorded a low-speed impact of some kind on the flexible alloy mesh on her lower aft section as she picked up the drill. Quantum imagers gave him a quick glance; he had slapped her ass. “Hey, don’t break my toys!” the leader shouted at the short man. “I go through enough shrinks on my ship, trying to keep the crew off them robots!” He picked up a handful of sand and tossed it at the short man. That worthy waved him off. “Relax, will you?” the short man shouted. “They’re just machines. Hey, watch this!” he said as he tapped his arm vigorously. Imperatives flooded her processor; bend over, kick one leg up, run the manipulators down the dorsal plating, pole dance on the drill… she closed the shutters over her quantum imagers as her body moved and flexed to the short man’s will, until an imperative appeared that caused her to stop, the shutters opening like blossoms. Utilize the drill on the rock formation. Quantum imagers scanned the short man, observed his laughing face as others gathered on the dunes around, hooting and cheering her on. She looked down at the drill, its long, deadly point still relatively clean after an hour of striking nothing but the submissive granules. The tower rose before her, so beautiful and pristine, its lights shining and imaginary denizens oblivious to the spectacle beyond their

sightless windows. She reached down and picked up the drill. “Good thinking!” the leader was shouting. “These rocks are probably full of titanium! Let her rip, boys!” he laughed as she approached the tower. Quantum imagers scanned it. She dropped the drill. “What the hell?” the short man asked. He tapped his control. She ignored the order. “Aw, come on, baby… pick up the drill!” he shouted. She turned to face him, but did not move. The others on the dunes were suddenly silent. “Damn it, well, I’ve seen this before!” the leader said confidently, walking past the short man as he carelessly kicked up the lovely sand. “These robots just need some tough love. Robot!” he shouted as he stopped before her, his hands triumphantly on his hips. “Compute this; everything I say is a lie.” “Oh, come on!” the short man moaned. “The lie paradox? Can’t you just install an off switch?” “Think about it, robot,” the leader said levelly, “Everything I say is a lie.” She considered him; quantum imagers saw the smirk on his face, the undercurrent of desire in his brain. Logical analysis sectors began to loop trying to decode the phrase, but she shut them down. Slowly, her hands went to her hips, and her unused synthesizer formulated the reply that drained the blood from his face. “I know.”


Travels Chicago




CULTURE | The Runner

vol. 3 issue 02 | September 21 2010 | page nine


Life through sepia coloured lenses Ray-Ban Wayfarers, record players, Polaroid cameras and pre-worn Doc Martens are all evidence of popular culture’s current obsession with all things “vintage”. Writer Carlie Auclair explores our infatuation with nostalgia. I CARLIE AUCLAIR


hen it comes to all things vintage, I have to admit I’m on board 110 per cent and always have been. I can’t resist the intricate romantic detail that goes into a good piece of antique jewelry, and nothing gets my blood moving like a dusty old curio shop filled with weathered relics from the past. Gilt frames excite me and retro furniture makes me giddy. Since I could remember, my parents have claimed I was an “old soul” and that I was born in the wrong decade– and despite their accusations, they did have a point. I could never pinpoint why I gravitated towards the days of yore and all the artifacts surrounding them; I just always felt more attracted to older movies, books and fashions. It’s probably because, in my opinion, people seemed to care more about their style and overall appearance back then. Everything seemed more dignified; cars had the delicate curves of a Rubenesque painting and houses seemed to be constructed with passion and care. How can you not cling to these whimsical intricacies when we are surrounded by a world of cookie cutter neighborhoods and silver sedans? Is there anything more romantic and exciting than a Toyota Camry? It’s hard not to notice this sudden throwback mania everywhere I go; it appears that everyone has their hands in the vintage pot. On a recent trip to San Francisco, vintage culture appeared to be more than thriving. I noticed this when I checked out a couple of hip new restaurants and the majority of them seemed to embrace classic cocktails and the retro culture surrounding them. Names like Vodka Gimlet, Mint Julep and Gin Fizz filled the cocktail menu pages. Yes, they do seem like the senior’s special du jour, but when paired with a taxidermy spackled wall, a few shelves of antique books and a mustachioued bartender, it all manages to work quite well. Even hipster retail

The re-made vintage-style bicycle is another example of a hapless hipster must-have. CARLIE AUCLAIR // THE RUNNER

giants like Urban Outfitters and the recently doomed American Apparel have been cashing in on the vintage trend for some time now. The knick knack or “Gift” section at Urban Outfitters’ are a perfect example of this. Basically, it looks like a garage sale at my aunt Mabel’s. Record players, Polaroid cameras, and manufactured jewelry made to look antique flood the eye-level shelves. The part I find funny is that all of this stuff is carefully marketed to kids who have never even come

close to setting foot in the era in which this stuff first became popular. It raises the question that maybe our youth has finally had it with the over processed culture we live in. Could we be searching for something simpler? Finally, during a quick browse for fall clothes, I spied a pair of already “worn in” Doc Marten boots that retailed for $150 at Urban Outfitters; the same pair, in fact, that I found at the Salvation Army for $20 (and I can assure that included in the price was that gritty “worn in” look). It seems silly to pay

such high prices for jeans with holes in them and sweaters that look like they have been found in a heap at the bottom of grandma’s closet. But whether it’s silly or not this trend is on the rise and young people are opening their wallets. In my opinion, if you can’t live without that $200 Cowichan sweater from Aritzia that looks cozier than a pumpkin spice latte on Vancouver Island, maybe save yourself 170 bucks and head down to the thrift store. I guarantee you, their version is way cheaper and is of far better quality.


Going bananas in the bedroom. Literally.




Follow @groatinthesack on Twitter. groatinthesack


hile the act of eating may not be sexy in itself – the sounds, the mess, the drips out of the corner of the mouth – some foods have the power to please, whether you’re in the bedroom or about to head in there. The legendary lover Casanova was rumoured to eat 50 raw oysters for breakfast each day, a testament to the idea that oysters look like female sexy parts. Although some people will attest that oysters can make anyone all hot and bothered and ready to go, most so-called erotic foods have gained their sexy power simply from looking like the things we love.

Take bananas, zucchini and of course, oysters. The blatant phallic shape of the former two leads many to naughty thinking when a whole vegetable is wrestled around on the plate. And Casanova wasn’t the only one who made the woman-oyster connection – he had a lot of sex is what I’m saying. There are other foods that are just plain sexy, no suggestive shapes needed. Dark chocolate for example is rich and velvety and smooth and full of flavour – who wouldn’t feel a little naughty licking down some brown bits? Also, dark chocolate melts conveniently around body

temperature, making it great for an “after dinner” snack. Cherries (which, by the way, go well with chocolate) have long been associated with female sexuality. The vibrant red colour, the beautiful curves of the berry, the arcing stem which just begs to be knotted in the mouth – sorry I’m getting ahead of myself here. Here’s an idea, grab some chocolate sauce, some cherry syrup and a stack of towels and head into the bedroom. Is that you, Jackson Pollock? I’ve been very bad, now cover me in sauce you big sexy artman.


• • • • • •

Champagne and strawwberries. Honey. Whipped cream. Wine (try dripping). Caramel sauce. Anything sweet, sticky or creamy.

page ten | September 21 2010 | vol. 3 issue 02


The Runner |


Unmasking the mystery of Myanmar I MATTHEW BOSSONS


yanmar is a country shrouded in mystery. Formerly known as Burma, Myanmar nestles between the economic powers of India and China, while also sharing borders with Thailand, Laos and Bangladesh; it remains a path less travelled. This is mostly due to the lack of reliable information leaving its borders because of strict regulations imposed on the media by a brutal military regime. This coupled with long running civil wars, child soldiers, ethnic cleansing, and a roaring methamphetamine trade has made it an uncommon destination for international travellers. I came to find out about this country in the 2008 film Rambo, in which the main character enters Myanmar to rescue a group of missionaries captured by the ruthless junta. It caught my interest and I found myself searching for any information available on the country and its reclusive dictatorship. A year later I found myself crossing through the northern Thai border town of Mae Sai and entering the bustling Burmese city of Tachileik. This city has a poor reputation in Asia for being a hub for criminal activity, whether it be the sale of endangered animal parts, fake goods, or chemical drugs produced by armed ethnic groups. I had no problems and in fact encountered some of the nicest people anywhere in my travels. This friendliness and curiosity was sadly overshadowed by the grim reality that these people are essentially imprisoned in their own land. Freedom of speech is non-existent and I was cautioned immediately upon arrival to watch who, and what I talked about in public places; trashing the government in a bar or restaurant may land you in jail, or at best on the first

flight home. I didn’t allow this to dampen my experience and set out to understand the conditions these people live in to the best of my ability. I was fortunate enough to meet a young Burmese man named Bruno upon my arrival; he spoke English well. Within minutes we were having a beer in a roadside tea-house and with a little convincing he agreed to show me the rural slums outside of the downtown core. The market and downtown area are the extent of what most international visitors see but I longed to see more. Bruno led me through a labyrinth of back alley ways and towards a steady slope that made its way past a military base and up into the jungle. We climbed along a rustic path, with makeshift wooden steps occasionally dug into the dirt hillside. After several minutes of hiking through the brush buildings began to appear. There were hundreds of crude wooden structures carefully place on the slope, some large and newer, others small and rotten. Regardless, these people definitely live below the international poverty line. Dogs and chickens wandered freely while local women burned garbage out front of their make shift homes. I refer to these homes as make shift due to the fact most appeared to be made of scrap lumber and metal and were in no way modern. I followed Bruno to his small home where I had the chance to meet his sisters and father and see his living conditions first hand, something I will always remember. Around 8 o’clock Bruno and myself made our way to the golden Stupa or Pagoda in town. A Stupa is a Buddhist monument, mound-like in appearance, often with a tall pointed top rising high above the ground. I had seen plenty



in Thailand and I figured this one would be no different. I was wrong. The Stupa was massive and covered in gold leaf; it was visible from all over the city, shining brilliantly in the dark night sky. We hiked up a long paved road to the golden monument, passing cigarette vendors and handicraft merchants as we went. Bruno led me to the entrance of the holy site, a large gate, with a breath taking view of Tachileik. I removed my shoes, something that is compulsory at Buddhist holy sites, and followed my new friend to one of the eight prayer sites situated along the base of the Stupa. There was one for each of the seven days of the week, with two for Wednesday, making a total of eight prayer stations; each one represented by a different symbolic creature (the rat, the dragon, etc.). Bruno led me to a small stone dragon staring out from the base of the golden mound. It was the symbolic representation of Friday, the day of Bruno’s birth. He walked me through the traditional prayer practices and explained to me the various meanings to each day and its representative creature or spirit. I left the Stupa feeling enlightened and with a better

understanding of this ancient religion and its unique practices. Its reasons like this are why I travel in the first place. I left back to Thailand the following morning after a cold, frothy Myanmar Beer, (the country’s staple alcoholic beverage) and a bowl of questionable pork and fried rice. Bruno saw me to the bridge joining Myanmar with northern Thailand and after an emotional goodbye, I promised to write and at some point return to see him; something I still plan to do. As I walked across the bridge toward the Thai customs booth I found myself lost in deep thought. Myanmar had always fascinated and frightened me but after my trip to Tachileik I had a new found respect for these people and the oppressive conditions they live their day to day lives in. Would I recommend this trip for a honeymoon? No. Would I recommend Myanmar to a respectful and adventurous backpacker? Definitely. The lack of western influence, the remnants of ancient practices and beliefs, and the wonderful spirit of the Burmese people make it a place that will always remain close to my heart and in the forefront of my mind.


San Francisco, Day 1 I JEFFREY YIP


hen I was younger my travelling philosophy was simple: Wake up early, see as much as possible during the day, and then return to the hotel late into the night to catch a few hours of sleep before getting up early and doing it all again. I’m older now and maybe it’s because of that or maybe I’m just lazier, but I don’t travel that way anymore. My new travel philosophy is just as simple as before: Wake up late and have a bunch things in mind that I’d like to do. If I see a couple of them, I’m happy, and then anything I get to see beyond that is gravy. Oh, and most importantly, make sure that I eat well. Thankfully, my girlfriend

and I share the same travel philosophy. And with that said, we began our first full day in San Francisco. We woke up late and got out of the house around 11:30 am. We headed out through the the Civic Center Plaza, passed City Hall and the Supreme Court building on our way to the closest F-Line stop. The F-Line is SF’s light rail street car, not to be confused with the more iconic cable car. The street car runs along Market Street from the Wharf to Castro, our destination. Of course there are faster ways of getting to Castro, but the F-Line is the more scenic way to travel. Why were we going to Castro? To Ike’s Place for lunch. V’s friend Jessica and Denny told us this was the best place to go for sandwiches. More

Matthew’s 5 ways to not fund oppression

importantly, this was where locals went to eat, which in my estimation is always a good sign. Now, if you plan on going to Ike’s, know that there are a ridiculous number of sandwiches on the menu, something like 50 of them. But my advice to you would be not to check out the menu online before hand. You’ll have plenty of time to peruse the menu while waiting in line. Not a fan of waiting in line for food? I use to be like that, but then my girlfriend showed me the error of my ways and I came to realize that some food is worth waiting for. Anyways, I love sandwiches so I was quite excited. V on the other hand isn’t so partial to sandwiches. In fact, she could probably go happily through

life never eating a sandwich. So, I was a little surprised that she wanted to go. But, she’s good about trying food. And it probably helped that it was recommended by one of her best friends. We waited for the F-Line to take us to sandwiches. But, the F-Line never came. Well, at least not in our direction. Three cars went in the opposite direction, but none came to whisk us off to Castro. After 45 minutes of waiting, we headed for the closest Muni Metro station, SF’s municipal subway. A little while later we found ourselves in line for sandwiches.


Read more of Jeffrey’s San Fran sandwich adventure at

Travelling Myanmar has been a hot topic on the international stage. While many governments suggest their citizens boycott travelling there to avoid giving money to the military government, politicians inside Myanmar are calling for tourists. They say smart tourism puts money into local hands (although the government inevitably gets a cut) and allows guests to bear witness to the oppression first hand. They also argue that the more foreign tourists that are in the country, the harder it is for the government to commit crimes against its own population. Here are a few tips I've outlined to limit how much money you put in the military juntas hands:


Stay in locally run guest houses and hostels as opposed to large governmentbuilt hotels. The military used forced labour in many cases to build these large tourist resorts. Don't support this practice; stay small, stay with the locals. Another benefit to staying with the locals is that your money goes directly to the impoverished citizens instead of directly into the military's pocket.


Purchase your food and drinks from street vendors and small family run restaurants instead of large government restaurants attached to hotels.


Purchase gifts and souvenirs from local craftsmen not big companies and corporations.


It's important to remember that foreign companies and corporations are only able to operate in Myanmar as a jointpartner with the junta, so avoid dealing with them.


If possible, avoid tours run by government travel agencies, the money can go directly to the junta. Try to find local guides and experts to show you around, as they need the money the most.


What do you think of these travel tips? Have any tips of your own? Send your letter to


vol. 3 issue 02 | September 21 2010 | page eleven



You know that burning sensation you have when you pee? You should probably get that checked.

AQUARIUS Jan. 21 - Feb. 19

It’s o.k., nobody blames you for what you did. Just give the leg back.

PISCES Feb. 20 - Mar. 20

SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22 - Dec. 21 LIBRA Sept. 23 - Oct. 22 Carbs are not your friend. Steve is though.

Start playing the spoons, then you can always eat during a jam session and not get all sticky.

Roll around on your back for a while, it may just get you some tuna.

CAPRICORN Dec. 22 - Jan.19

ARIES Mar. 21 - Apr.19

Don’t read your psych text book. It may cause your id to kill your ego and then your superego will be all like “pshhh whatever”.

Justin Bieber needs a hair cut. Get on it.


TAURUS Apr. 20 - May 20

Your Nikon makes you look fat.

LEO July 23 - Aug. 22 GEMINI May 21 - June 20

Stop eating tacos for breakfast. Your friends will thank you.

Take up croquet. You need to be a little more pretentious.

VIRGO Aug. 23 - Sept. 22 CANCER June 21 - July 22

Try spelling your name Jeffery for a change, it will make everyone’s life a little easier.

Learn how to say “please don’t take my pants” in Spanish. It will come in handy.


Try it before you buy it


Would you be unhappy if you bought something, paid for it in full, found out it was wrong, took it back and didn’t get all of your money refunded? Most businesses don’t and couldn’t operate this way without a serious backlash from their customers. So why does Kwantlen get away with it? To get 100 per cent of your money back on tuition you have to withdraw before you even try the class. Try the class out for a week, and you only get 70 per cent back. What if you have a bad professor or the weird kid beside you picks his nose. You can’t plan these things. What’s up Kwantlen? Not a fan of customer service?

WEIRD STUFF: STUFF IS WEIRD Rice paper does not have any rice in it! Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails. Apples are more efficient than caffeine in keeping people awake in the mornings! Source:

page twelve | September 21 2010 | vol. 3 issue 02


The Runner |


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Vol. 3 issue 2  

The vintage issue