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The Imperial College Careers Fair a 'clearly

well

planned' An

success

estimated

attended

5,500

this y e a r ' s

students

careers

fair

a c c o r d i n g to its manager, J e r e m y Burnell.

About

70

companies

attended the fair w h i c h was held in a

marquee

last

Tuesday

W e d n e s d a y o n the Q u e e n ' s

and Lawn.

M r B u r n e l l expressed his o p i n i o n that the c o m p a n i e s were actually recruiting rather than simply g i v i n g a public relations display. H e added that in his v i e w 'the fair was

far

superior to last y e a r ' w h e n there was

a

large

amount

of

disorganisation preceding the event. The

representative

for

Holbein Slammed

Price

Waterhouse commented that the fair was 'clearly w e l l p l a n n e d ' . Procter and G a m b l e said that it was a ' w e l l

h u m o u r and the ability to look one

Occupants o f H o l b e i n House

organised e v e n t ' and M a r k E m e r y

in the e y e ' while B i l l

Henderson

c o m p l a i n i n g o f its state o f repair.

can be used. H e said that w o r k m e n

o f R o l l s R o y c e c l a i m e d that the

f r o m Albright and W i l s o n L t d . said

T h e y say that desks a n d chairs are

closed a shower last week, but have since made no attempt to w o r k o n it.

w hole show was

' v e r y busy

and

are

has been closed so the shower above

that 'most students were average;

wobbly and falling apart, wallpaper

very i m p r e s s i v e ' . British T e l e c o m ,

there

outstanding

is peeling off the walls, study lamps

who are presently seeking to recruit

ones.' M a n y companies, including

are b r o k e n and wardrobe doors fall

non-functional

about 500 graduates, described the

National

off.

Greenwood

students

attending

'above

as

average' while H a r b i n d e r D h a l i w a l

weren't

many

Physical

Laboratories,

said that they were

'looking

for

s o m e b o d y with a-bit o f s p a r k ' .

o f L o g i c a said that 'the standard o f

Bill

students is v e r y , v e r y h i g h . . . they

Careers

are o f a v e r y h i g h c a l i b r e ' .

that despite the recession and the

added

that o f the

She

139 graduates

F o x o f Imperial Advisory

lower

number

College's

Service of

stated

A

H o l b e i n postgraduate

told

T h e H a l l has four ovens and a microwave. said

that

Mr three

F e l i x that ' w e are expected to l i v e

microwaves

like squatters'. Jeremy G r e e n w o o d ,

start o f term with a p r o m i s e f r o m

were o r d e r e d

at the

a sub w a r d e n in H o l b e i n , said that

C o l l e g e Estates to supply them in

the conditions m a k e studying v e r y

a

difficult.

Residences

companies

Sixty students l i v e i n H o l b e i n ,

week.

Mr

Graham

Daniels,

Manager

Area

told

F e l i x that a single m i c r o w a v e and

recruited last year, 20 were taken

attending in c o m p a r i s o n with the

f r o m Imperial C o l l e g e , w h i c h was

last

more than any other establishment,

companies

few

including many mature students and

including

m o r e vacancies than last y e a r ' . H e

postgraduates. T h e C o l l e g e plans to

sized rooms in E v e l y n Gardens. M r

added

for

close the H a l l at Easter until next

Greenwood

and p h y s i c a l science

session for renovation. T h e warden

anyone for c o m p l a i n i n g ' as the H a l l

King's

Oxford,

College

Cambridge,

and

University

College.

fair,

offering

that

engineering

S o m e c o m p a n i e s ' representatives expressed

disappointment

students.

Among

with

students

were

there

the

were

some

'quite a

prospects 'a

little

more

optimistic than I e x p e c t e d ' and that

w h i c h is a C o l l e g e o w n e d student residence

of

in

Holbein,

Evelyn

Dr

a fridge a r r i v e d yesterday.

Gardens,

Toumazou,

was

H o l b e i n residents pay

ÂŁ40

per

week, the same as other s i m i l a r l y

is

said

'generally

T

don't

shabby'

blame

and

Mr

unavailable for c o m m e n t , but M r

D a n i e l s said that he is c o n s i d e r i n g

were

v e r y few students f r o m outside the

G r e e n w o o d informed F e l i x that two

Holbein

B a n q u e Indosuez who felt students

college attended the fair. M r . F o x

o f the

initiating a project to 'rectify major

order because they leak into the

these

l a c k e d personality w h e n c o m p a r e d

claimed

difference between a student f r o m

rooms

described the graduates that they

outside

I.C.

reported to C o l l e g e at the start o f

were

looking

for

as

personality,

a

he

could

the c o l l e g e

'tell

and an

the

showers were out o f

to last years eager j o b hunters. T h e y

pleasing

that

five

below.

O n e o f these

was

faults College

a in

priority showers'

and

will

be

throughout

but admitted that

'faults

cannot be rectified o v e r n i g h t ' . H e

having

'a

student by their hair and clothes, or

the summer and the other at the start

p r o m i s e d to deliver new appliances

sense

of

rather lack o f . '

o f t e r m . O n e o f the r o o m s b e l o w

h i m s e l f as staff were unavailable.


18 October 1991

Felix 913

What's On A n up-to-the-minute guide to events

W u Shu Kwan in the Union G y m .

SEDS

Aero 266.

in

Catholic Mass

Elec Eng 408. D r Bill Thornton,

Fitness Club

and a r o u n d Imperial

T h e deadline

College.

for entries for this

page is 1 2 . 3 0 p m the M o n d a y p r i o r to p u b l i c a t i o n .

FRIDAY Hang Gliding

53 Cromwell Road.

MONDAY RockSoc Meeting

N A S A astronaut.

Southside G y m . Advanced.

Judo

Midweek Service

Union G y m .

Chaplains Office (10 Prince's

Frankenstein Unbound

Gardens).

Southside Upper Lounge.

Mech Eng 220. Organised by I C S F .

New Beginners Ballroom....

Physics Dinner

Rubbercap coming soon.

JCR.

Southside Upper Lounge.

£10.00

Ballroom Bronze Medal

The Grifters

Conservative Soc

Basketball Club

JCR.

M e c h Eng 220. Organised by

Physics 737.

Postponed until volleyball court

Grease Rehearsals

FilmSoc.

Rag Meeting

reopened. Men's Team.

Room 308, Huxley Building

Improvers Ballroom

Union Lounge. Everyone welcome.

Fitness Club

(terminal room A).

JCR.

3rd World 1st Meeting

Southside G y m . Beginners.

Caving Club Meeting

Southside Upper Lounge.

Intermediate Rock V

Southside Upper Lounge.

Real Meeting

Friday Prayers

JCR.

Southside G y m . See Islamic Society.

Afro-Carib Meeting

WEDNESDAY

IC Shotokan Karate...

Kung Fu

Conceit Hall.

Union G y m .

Swimming

Roll

Fitness Club .Southside G y m . Intermediate.

Union Lounge. Lots of good Southside G y m .

Intermediate Ballroom

C.U. Prayer Meeting

Sports Centre.

413 Maths.

Beginners Rock V

Speaker Meeting

JCR.

Cycling Training

Southside Bar.

ME

ULU Swimming Team Trials

Meet at Beit A r c h .

I C C A G Soup Run

Wargames

Meet Weeks Hall Basement.

220. How to cope with your

supervisor.

Roll

ooze.

Bike Club

JCR.

Southside Lounge.

Southside Disco,

Christian Union Meeting

Freshers trials at U L U , Malet Street

UDH.

pool.

Micro Club Meeting

308 Computing.

IC Shotokan Karate

Top floor N W corner Union

• C H E A P c l i m b i n g at M i l e E n d .

Swimming

Southside G y m .

Building.

A n y o n e interested i n b e c o m i n g

Sports Centre.

Water Polo

Kung Fu

member

Fencing Club Training

Sports Centre.

Union G y m .

Wall,

Club training.

Latin American

Ten Pin Bowling

c l i m b i n g (£1 per session). T h e cost

Shaolin System Nam Pai Chuan

JCR.

Meet Aero Eng Foyer.

of

DramSoc Improv Class

Sherfold with S & G every lunchtime

A l l welcome.

Small A d s of

Mile

End

a

Climbing

entitling y o u to h a l f p r i c e

m e m b e r s h i p is £ 6 — S e e O l i v e r

Southside G y m .

TUESDAY

Union S C R (old Union Office).

in

Water Polo

C.U. Prayer Meeting

Professional tuition.

contact

Sports Centre.

Chaplain's Office

Diving

pigeonholes.

Spitfire

Chemistry Dinner

Swimming Pool.

October 25.

Shaolin System Nam Pai Chuan

a malt whisky society please contact M i c h a e l H a d w i n , L i n s t e a d x 3644.

Southside

Upper

him

via

Lounge Mech

or Eng

O f f e r closes F r i d a y ,

• A N Y O N E interested i n f o r m i n g

Union Lounge G i g . £2.50 adv, £3 on

£12

door.

3rd World 1st Stall

Southside Disco

JCR.

Southside G y m .

Southside Bar.

SplotSoc Meeting

Basketball Club

• C H A M P A G N E ! W i n a bottle b y

Southside Upper Lounge.

Postponed until volleyball court

d o i n g the U R O P q u i z . C o p i e s f r o m

SATURDAY

Riding Club Meeting

reopened,-

the U R O P office, r o o m 3 1 3 C M e c h

Kung Fu Club

Southside Upper Lounge.

Kung Fu Club

Eng.

W u Shu Kwan in Southside G y m .

Christian Outreach

Union G y m . W u Shu Kwan.

• FORD

Great Sightseeing Challenge

Elec Eng 403B

Christian Outreach

d o o r v e r y g o o d c o n d i t i o n . 1 year

Boardsailing

M e c h Eng 702.

MOT.

Meet Beit Quad for a full fun day.

Southside Upper Lounge.

Libido

N a h e e d B i o c h e m 3.

Ents Club Night in Union Lounge.

Deadline:

dawn,

ESCORT Under

Oct

1300.

£1200.

28.

Three

Contact

IC Shotokan Karate

AudioSoc

Southside G y m .

S.C.R.

IC Radio 999Am

Radio Modellers

THURSDAY

Robin Griffith.

Southside Lounge.

Fencing Training

• SINGLE

Ladies Tennis

Cathsoc Mass

Intermediate & advanced coaching.

house share with five undergrads in

At college courts. Membership £6.

Mech Eng 702. Followed by lunch.

Balloon Club Meeting

Kensal

A l l new members welcome.

Sailing Club

Southside Upper Lounge.

exclusive. Phone 081-969 7322.

IC Radio 999AM

Southside Lounge.

YHA

Tom

PhotoSoc

Southside Upper Lounge.

Cycling Club

Southside Lounge.

Postgrad Lunch

• L A U G H T E R is guaranteed at the

Meet at Beit A r c h .

Ents Meeting

Chaplains Office (10 Princes

C a r e e r s T a l k this c o m i n g w e e k in

Cunnington.

SUNDAY

Union Lounge.

Careers Talk...

v

Meeting

• SPECIALISED

Rockhopper

mountainbike. £100 ono. Contact C T o o m b s , M e c h E n g 3. Room

Green.

available

£53

per

in

week

Careers Information

Gardens).

LT213

Fencing Training

Tuesday

Huxley 22

at

1.30-2.20pm,

October.

The

West London Chaplaincy Sunday Service

The Application Game and How to

Beginners Training.

A p p l i c a t i o n G a m e and H o w to L o s e

Lose it!

Anteroom Sherfield Building.

Radio Modellers

S & G - T h e Outdoor Club

Recruitment

Men's Tennis Team Practise

Mech Eng.

Mines room B303.

considers some o f the

Fitness Club

3rd World 1st

c o m m o n l y adopted by finalists to

College Courts. Players of any

Southside G y m . Intermediate.

Clubs Committee Room. Speaker

the j o b - s e e k i n g process. H i s talk is

ability. Annual membership £6. New

Amenesty International

'Paul Dawyer' from W D M .

illustrated

members

Clubs Committee Room.

IC Labour Club

examples.

Wine Tasting Soc

Brown Committee Room (Union).

Graduate R e c r u i t m e n t P r o g r a m m e

welcome.

Catholic Chaplaincy Mass.JT.00am

it.

Brian Hyde,

former

Manager

with

Graduate for

appropriate

REMINDER:

details

of

IBM,

approaches

See

the

53 Cromwell Road.

Union Dining Hall.

'Investing in the Future'.

for

Wargames

Improvers Ballroom

Yacht Club

Presentations

UDH.

JCR.

Aero 253.

W A R N I N G : F e w e r vacancies are

Fitness Club

Canoe Club

Fencing Training

expected i n 1992 i n m a n y

Intermediate.

Beit Quad store or 8.30pm in

General.

o f the e c o n o m y . A p p l y early.

Kung Fu Club

Southside Upper Lounge.

Gliding Club Meeting

for

Employer finalists. sectors


Felix 913

18 October 1991

Felix

M o n e y Ideas Interviews for student loans began

must b r i n g with them c o n f i r m a t i o n

on M o n d a y October 7th and will be

of

available f r o m

f r o m last year.

11am to

12.45pm

and f r o m 2 . 1 5 p m to 3 . 4 5 p m Mondays,

Tuesdays

on

their loan

certificate

number

T . Cullen, Assistant Registrar.

and

Wednesdays. T o be eligible for a student l o a n , the

applicant

student, i

must

on

home

T h e Phoenix is a legendary A r a b i a n

full-time

b i r d w h i c h w o u l d arise anew f r o m

be

a

a

undergraduate course and be aged

its o w n ashes; it is also the name o f

less

the Imperial C o l l e g e arts magazine.

than fifty

when

the

course

T h e P h o e n i x o f legend was reborn

began. Applicants

should

book

an

every

five

hundred

years;

the

appointment in R o o m 344 o f the

P h o e n i x o f I . C . appeared a little -

Sherfield B u i l d i n g . T h e interview

but o n l y a little - m o r e often. E a c h

w i l l be held in r o o m 3 4 6 , at w h i c h

o f these wonderful creatures w o u l d

they

be reborn amidst a tempest o f glory

should b r i n g

their birth o r

adoption certificate, i f b o r n in the UK,

or

passport

A l l v e r y poetical but w h y a m I

without. A l l applicants must also

telling y o u this? W e l l the P h o e n i x

b r i n g a letter o f advice f r o m the

is about to arise once m o r e .

(Local

Area

if

and rapture.

born

LEA

their

Authority)

confirming a mandatory award, and details o f the bank which

the

account into

is to be

mesmerising

retiring bei ng w h i c h is rarely seen. Indeed, the last sighting was some

creativity;

account number and sort code. T h e

two years ago. H o w e v e r , now it is

poems

must be

able

paid

its

-

account

loan

Despite

emergence, the Phoenix is a shy and

to

accept

about

to be

r e b o r n and it needs

stories,

and

desperately

direct debits and electronic bank

people who will nurture it and assist

certain

transfers.

in its development.

assistance.

In addition, those students

who

took out a loan d u r i n g (1990/91)

In short, the

photographs,

illustrations

sought

amount

looks great on your C . V . ) . So i f y o u are a b u d d i n g Betjeman, B a i l e y or

a

Beckett then y o u c o u l d d o a lot

practical

worse than to pop y o u r material in

along of

are

with

( F o r those o f a

more

the F e l i x office pigeon holes (under

P h o e n i x is offering y o u a stage o n

m e r c e n a r y disposition then be i ng a

Phoenix, if y o u please...) or see m y

which

contributor to the college arts m a g

goodself,

for me to m a k e the inner system's

forests and mountains. Stress stared

first alien c o n t a c t . '

in w o n d e r .

to

express

your

artistic

The Inner System

'Alien?'

' T h i s is a beautiful place to l i v e . '

' O h , I'm

s o r r y , m e m b e r o f an

alternative

2. Destruction. The second chapter by Troy Tempest.

style

of

physical

existence.' H e beamed

confidence.

our

consultancy

' O h we d o n ' t l i v e o n the surface. Horrible place,

animals,

rain.

in

We

live

a

insects,

far

better

environment.

' F r o m y o u r m e l l o w attitude I can call

Phillip Henry

companies'

T h e ship cl ea red a final range o f mountains and headed towards the

The ship screamed out of a rip in

a friendly, low key pastel light lifted

approach to alien contact a complete

massive

space

h i m up into the belly o f an a i r l o c k

success. D e - e m p h a s i s i n g the c o l d

Stress

It

had

underneath the sexy craft. T h e noise

blue rays, smoke and strange forms

finished o n the forest and was

now

into the atmosphere

o f an

alien planet.

mechanical had

seen

lizard

earlier.

that

and Stress's libido was so great that

w h i c h are such stress heighteners

sucking up a lake. A s their v e h i c l e

o f a chance o f h e a v e n by a freak

he had

and replacing them with P A M had

drew nearer it turned its head and

hole

burning

c o n s u m i n g passion for the metal

done its j o b with sweet s u c c e s s . '

stared at t h e m .

atmosphere r i p p e d away the s h i p ' s

flying craft that had enveloped h i m .

Stress almost c r i e d . T o be robbed in

reality.

The

outer shell before he had a chance

absolutely

Once

inside

no fear,

the

noise

only

settled

'Who's pam?'

' T h e inner s y s t e m ! '

' P o s i t i v e attraction m e c h a n i s m s .

T h e wrought i r o n reptile broke

o f p u l l i n g away. H e carreered over

d o w n to a m o r e comfortable h u m .

T h e a r r i v a l o f this v e h i c l e caused

mountains, lakes and a m i l e h i g h

Before h i m was a s p a c i o u s c o c k p i t

positive e m o t i o n a l feedback d i d it

'Stage one e n t r y ! '

m e c h a n i c a l l i z a r d eating a

stuffed

not?'

The

forest

before a crashlanding in a meadow .

with expensive

gadgets,

electronic

computers,

screens,

Stress was

embarrassed.

k e y b o a r d set in an a d m i r i n g c i r c l e

' Y o u see, w e ' v e developed at our

the

around a central seat. T h e object o f

agency special apparatus that can be

grass he noticed a slowly increasing

their gaze was a m a n so clean and

fitted to cars that w i l l focus

hum

i m m a c u l a t e that he l o o k e d like he

amplify

crawling,,

out

of

and c o l l a p s i n g

and

more

on

inexplicably

a

natural

sexual

lips

slowly

separated

to

reveal pearly flawless teeth.

the

After wreckage

into a lazy g r i n .

'Stage two e n t r y ! ' T h e ivory smile held for a second

and

and then the teeth s l o w l y parted to

attraction

reveal a red cavern. M a s s i v e molars

g r o w i n g sexual excitement. A s the

had just been unwrapped along with

waves. Regulations m e a n that we

m a r c h e d back into darkness w h i l e

h u m increased to a groan he noticed

the rest o f the hardware. T h e one

must

c o l o u r e d lights ran d o w n

an object

surprise was

attempt

in the distance

slowly

increase in size, a p p r o a c h i n g h i m

Stress

g l e a m i n g s m i l e d i d n ' t have upper

Amid

the

s c r e a m i n g noise, resolved

now

into a

perfect

teeth

faced

through

the air.

the

that w h e n he

of

his

case letters o n t h e m .

make at

some a

superfluous

practical use,

like

a e r o d y n a m i c s , but the real use is

' A n d now stage three e n t r y ! '

heightening

S l o w l y , c o n f i d e n t l y , the scarlet

magnetism.

the

vehicles

With

pheromone

screams

Stress

H e s m i l e d again, spelling relax.

covers and the front w i n d o w any

quickening

watched the object take shape with

Stress felt no anger, confusion o r

hostility o n the part o f the target

floated

group is soon e v a p o r a t e d . '

tongue.

voices,

open lust. It was a wedge shaped

fear. H e w a l k e d hesitantly towards

flying craft b i g enough for a couple

the altar. T h e pilot b e a m e d d o w n at

of

him.

occupants

with

several

odd

attachments. A s it hovered over h i m

'I must say this is a great h o n o u r

on

the

seat

slab extended from the open mouth,

' H e l l o there!'

sexy

emitters

special

t h u m p i n g drumbeat iced o v e r with and

a ruby

tongue.

A s the P R creature talked and

the

lights down

them

minimally

closed.

—3—

p a m oyer.

The

recognition

Stress stared b l a n k l y the craft flew assisted by

along

into

its

their pace. and grin

and its

length

The

ship

settled o n the widened

the l i z a r d

mouth.

The

in

drew jaws


8

x

n

The Farrant Guide t o Union Events Events Every

can be obtained f r o m the relevant

second

Wednesday,

the

L o u n g e B a r hosts a bar quiz (which

exec

knowledge

quizzes

with

alcoholic prizes and a chance to take part

i n the ' w i n n e r s '

quiz

near

Office

b y the time papers are taken d o w n then nominations are open f r o m the

pigeonholes.

started last W e d n e s d a y ) . T h e s e are general

v i a the U n i o n

bar tends to work). If nobody stands

T h e r e are six other posts, elected

at the U G M .

floor

T h e posts

at the U n i o n G e n e r a l M e e t i n g o n

available are: 2 first year reps to

N o v e m b e r 7. N o m i n a t i o n papers go

Council,

up

Postgraduate

o n the noticeboard

Easter. T h e next one is in W e l f a r e

staircase,

Week,

1 level

(East

up, Union

Women's

Officer,

Affairs

Officer,

B u i l d i n g ) o n M o n d a y at 9 . 3 0 a m .

necessary) and T r a n s p o r t O f f i c e r .

They

o n F r i d a y 1st

If these names d o n ' t mean anything

be healthier and hopefully s u r v i v e

November

at 5 . 3 0 p m . T h e basic

to y o u , p o p into the U n i o n O f f i c e

a few years here.

idea is i f y o u w i s h to stand then put

and grab a sabbatical

y o u r name up a n d get p r o p o s e d by

what the j o b s are about.

ation D a y . A l l last y e a r ' s graduates

someone. T h e n find ten people to

return w i t h their g o w n s to p i c k up

second y o u (nagging people i n the

Steve Farrant, I C U H o n Sec (Events).

you'll

Next Thursday

be able to

is C o m m e m o r -

come down

to e x p l a i n

bits o f paper f r o m the A l b e r t H a l l . T h e r e are a few g o o d points to this, firstly y o u get to see how stupid y o u c o u l d l o o k i n three o r four

years

t i m e . S e c o n d l y , e v e r y o n e gets the afternoon

Come to lunch on Monday 21st October i n the U n i o n Lounge for a chat.

P u b l i c i t y O f f i c e r (artistic flair not

spend five days f i ndi ng out h o w to

where

MATURE STUDENTS

o f f a n d f i n a l l y the

Ents Dudes

c o m m e m o r a t i o n ball d i s c o is i n the

G i r d y o u r loins k i d s — t h e hottest in

e v e n i n g . T h i s goes f r o m m i d n i g h t

indie

until 3 . 3 0 a m with a bar until 2 a m .

Lounge.

T i c k e t s are £2 and available f r o m

the subject

is c o m i n g

to

Your

T a k i n g a break f r o m their support

the U n i o n O f f i c e o n M o n d a y . On

rock

slot o n tour with the m i g h t y guitar-wielding,

o f discos, i f

play tonight i n the U n i o n

anyone wants a cheap but excellent

Spitfire

d i s c o contact D o m i n i c and the E n t s

Lounge,

kiddies v i a the U n i o n O f f i c e . T h e i r

deliciously named

Spitfire

events, w h i c h w i l l be p u b l i c i s e d as

Blur,

groovy-types

ably

supported

b y the

Herb.

are one o f the top new

bands o n the indie c i r c u i t , boasting

soon as t h e y ' r e sorted out, are j a z z nights and p i a n o nights i n the b a r

a c o u p l e o f h i g h f l y i n g E P s and a

and lounge bar, c o c k t a i l nights and

cult f o l l o w i n g . P i c k up an advance

happy hours.

ticket

Elections

(£2.50) or pay o n the d o o r ( £ 3 . 0 0 ) .

B e i n g a students' u n i o n , w e have lots o f o f f i c e r ' s posts. T h e s e are filled

b y students

something

and give y o u

to w h i l e

away

those

hours and get some C V points as well.

T h e following

posts a r e

presently vacant and w i l l be filled

Presidential Stuff 1. L e c t u r e r E v a l u a t i o n

University

h o l d i n g a sleepout o n H a l l o w e ' e n

Recreational

lecturer evaluation questionnaire.

(31

of London

O c t o b e r ) to attempt to raise

Clubs Committee Chair, Publica-

A n y comments should be addressed

awareness

to y o u r D e p a r t m e n t a l R e p o r me i f

situation students in L o n d o n are i n .

Station M a n a g e r .

y o u d o n ' t k n o w w h o it is.

M o r e info o n this next week.

2.

FULL SCC MEETING October 21st 6.00pm Ents Lounge A l l chairpersons and treasurers advised to attend.

' H o w to c o p e

with

your

the

impossible

supervisor'

T h e r e is currently a v a c a n c y for a

T h i s is a s e m i n a r g i v e n b y S i r E r i c

Union

A s h and D r D a v i d P h i l l i p s i n order

duties w o u l d be to l o o k after the

Officer

who's

for them to give y o u an idea o f how

vans

y o u should d e v e l o p and nurse the

t h e y ' r e a l l fully w o r k i n g and get

o n a weekly

basis,

ensure

relationship with y o u r supervisor.

them fixed i f t h e y ' r e not. In return

T h e r e w i l l be a question time at the

the officer w i l l get free use o f the

end a n d also plenty o f t i me f o r

vans p r o v i d i n g they are available.

students to give their side o f the

If y o u ' r e interested c o m e and have

story. T u r n u p early,

a chat.

it m a y be

busy. 5. P a r k i n g Permits 3. U L U H a l l o w e ' e n

T h o s e who were allocated a parking

Sleepout

If the withdrawal o f student benefits

permit i n last w e e k ' s F e l i x : i f y o u

has affected y o u adversely o r y o u

h a v e n ' t p i c k e d u p the permit b y

think it's l i k e l y to then y o u should

5 . 0 0 p m today the the allocation w i l l

make

your

feelings

felt. T h e

be r e m o v e d .

— 4—

ROYAL COLLEGE OF SCIENCE ASSOCIATION

CAREERS FORUM 6.30pm Tuesday 22nd October

4. F r e e use o f vans Transport

pot o f

out a seething

U n i o n is

tions B o a r d C h a i r a n d I C R a d i o F u r t h e r details

Strobes

pumping

Ents s a y — h o t b a b v .

W e are l o o k i n g at the format o f the

of

d i s c o , with D J M a r j o r i e

g r o o v e s and rug-cutting v i b e s .

Clubs

Chair,

Office

£1.50 to E n t s ca rd holders. Besides

committees: Committee

the U n i o n

the five bands y o u get a late bar and

through elections at the respective Athletics

from

Senior C o m m o n R o o m Sherfield An ideal opportunity to meet people from a broad spectrum of the industrial, commercial and managerial world, able to offer objective advice regarding jobs, careers and prospects in your particular field. An informal buffet supper will be served, at a cost of £3.00 and a cash bar will be available. Bookings should be made at the Old Students' Association Office, Room 301, Sherfield, as soon as possible.


Clubs & Societies

Felix 913

18 October 1991

Grease —Opsoc & Dramsoc

Filmsoc

Frankenstein

is a hard boiled thriller

The Grifters

Joe

Bodenland,

a

twenty-first

starring A n g e l i c a H u s t o n and J o h n

century A m e r i c a n , passes through

October

C u s a c k , and p r o d u c e d by M a r t i n

a ' t i m e s h i p ' and finds h i m s e l f with

f r o m 7 . 0 0 - 1 0 . 3 0 p m and Saturday

Scorsese. In a nutshell, it depicts a

B y r o n and Shelley in the

the Great H a l l f r o m January 28 to

26 f r o m 1 l a m to 6 p m , probably in

group o f c o n m e n and w o m e n and

v i l l a o n the shore o f L a k e G e n e v a .

February

r o o m 308 in the H u x l e y b u i l d i n g .

their lifestyle o f l y i n g cheating and

Having

stealing. It's a f i l m o f c r i m e , sex

h i m s e l f face

Opsoc

and

Dramsoc

are j o i n t l y

staging a p r o d u c t i o n o f Grease 1

next

year.

in

This

promises to be one o f the biggest events

of

college.

its k i n d

We

ensure

need

that the

need

a

On

the technical side, we

are

done

this he

then

to face

seen

in

g o i n g to need a lot o f help w i t h set

and passion s k i l l f u l l y written and

Frankenstein,

help

to

building

directed

inhabiting a c o m p l e x w o r l d where

production

big

cast

principals and chorus).

is

a

(both

Rehearsals

this term)

and

by

Stephen

lights and sound next term. W e will

Dangerous

also need backstage help d u r i n g the

Grifters

p r o d u c t i o n with costumes,

220 at 7 . 3 0 p m

make-

Frears, fame.

Liaisons

of The

will be shown in M e c h E n g on Thursday

24

fact and fiction m a y as easily have congress manages

as

Bodenland

to m a k e

l o ve

himself to

once and apparently

evenings at 7 . 3 0 p m in r o o m 308 in

people

the

escapes me at the moment).

Huxley

Building.

these

are

At

just

the sing-

throughs with the score so everyone

SEDS and Astronaut

quite a

it, though

and c o m e see what the film is about Astronaut D r B i l l T h o r n t o n w i l l be

just two years later, again

already! W e are h o p i n g not to have

speaking o n T u e s d a y O c t o b e r 22 at

challenger for the third shuttle—

to audition chorus m e m b e r s but for

6 . 3 0 p m in E l e c E n g 4 0 8 .

spacelab m i s s i o n

aboard

(why life,

(STS-51-B).

D r T h r o n t o n has f l o w n o n two

T h o r n t o n w i l l be d i s c u s s i n g his

not?

shuttle missions d u r i n g his career.

experiences in space: T h e effects o f

only

O r i g i n a l l y selected as an astronaut

space

member

know

book

human

body

(Dr

costs

£2.50

to

become

an

in the late 1960s, he first flew in

T h o r n t o n is a m e d i c a l doctor); his

y o u r first f i l m free.

1983 o n the third flight o f the space

v i e w s o n the shuttle

costs £1 for all paid up

singing p r i n c i p a l parts but y o u w i l l

shuttle challenger (the

and his experiences i n space.

still need to go to a rehearsal to

launch

b o o k an audition time. A u d i t i o n s

( S T S - 8 ) ) . H i s second m i s s i o n came

and

of

the

space

first

night

shuttle,

All

are w e l c o m e

programme; to attend the

talk.

a

and this includes seeing

audition time. T h e r e are s o m e n o n

songs

we're

the universe and the c h a i r -

to get to

the

why

entity's rocketing blood pressure. It

a p r i n c i p a l part, y o u must c o m e to

on

That's

g o i n g ! ) , find out the m e a n i n g o f

one o f these rehearsals some

few

it's title

A n y w a y that's what the book by

them

those o f y o u w h o are interested in

read

B r i a n A l d i s s is about. J o i n I C S F

can get to k n o w some o f the songs e v e n i f y o u d o n ' t all k n o w

Mary

(that's S h e l l e y — s h e wrote a b o o k

O c t o b e r . See y o u there.

up, props etc.

doppelganger

are already underway o n T u e s d a y

moment,

finds

w i t h a real

ever

(starting

a

famous

your

success. We

w i l l be o n T h u r s d a y 24

O t h e r w i s e it members

w h o have already seen a film this year. F o r more details turn up at the film.

NEW MAC PRODUCTS! A p p l e C o m p u t e r will shortly b e a n n o u n c i n g s o m e exciting N E W M a c i n t o s h systems a n d peripherals c o v e r i n g a full r a n g e of PRICE, p e r f o r m a n c e a n d PORTABILITY. ICCS will b e d e m o n s t r a t i n g the C O M P L E T E r a n g e of these products o n W e d n e s d a y 2 3 r d O c t o b e r from 1 4 : 0 0 to 1 7:0O in o u r d e m o n s t r a t i o n area. R o o m 41 O in the M e c h a n i c a l E n g i n e e r i n g b u i l d i n g .


Felix 913

Feature

18 October 1991

Housing is a big issue. It affects

landlord p r o v i d e d they give at least

shortfall. If y o u find yourself in this

all o f us whether

two months notice to quit. T h i s also

position seek a d v i c e !

process o f seeking a c c o m m o d a t i o n

means

or actually l i v i n g i n it. I C students

m o n t h s ' duration it is possible for

What happens once the fixed term of the A S T comes to an end?

we are i n the

that i n a tenancy

o f six

are no exception a n d the U n i o n ' s

a landlord to give notice to quit after

P r o v i d e d that the l a n d l o r d doesn't

welfare

an

four months and for this notice to

exercise their right to repossess the

o f queries o n

expire at the e n d o f the six m o n t h

property

p e r i o d . T h i s means that the tenant

notice s/he m a y then offer y o u a

office

deals

increasing n u m b e r

with

tenant's rights each week. Most

new,

private

tenancy

agreements are n o w either A s s u m e d

would

have

to

leave

after

six

months.

new

by

giving

A S T , for

period.

a

appropriate

further

fixed

Alternatively,

the

agreement can simply be allowed to

or A s s u r e d S h o r t h o l d lettings a n d

A l t h o u g h the tenant cannot be

are regulated b y the 1988 H o u s i n g

evicted without a court order, i f the

expire, creating a p e r i o d i c A S T . If

A c t w h i c h c a m e into effect o n 15

landlord

valid

this happens, a l a n d l o r d must then

agreement and given correct notice,

serve two m o n t h ' s notice o f their

the court must then evict.

intention to repossess the property.

January

1989. Students

with

agreements p r i o r to this date m a y

has

served

a

Finding your shoebox Stefano ICU

Ruis,

Welfare

Adviser,

leads

you through the accomodation labyrinth. Welfare

advice

on ext 3507

.yes, but it's cheap. It's on a very short have

better

and

rights

shoul d

consult I C U ' s W e l f a r e A d v i s e r for more

information.

A

very

high

p r o p o r t i o n o f I C students o c c u p y

lace.

Ending an Assured Shorthold Tenancy Early

The

Students m a y w i s h to leave their

of

property

notice is required i f the l a n d l o r d

before

the end o f the

tenant,

likewise,

their

intention to leave

property in the private rented sector

m i n i m u m six m o n t h p e r i o d . U n l e s s

agrees).

include university,

the agreement allows f o r this o r i f

Rent Increases

(this does not

is

also

required to give two month's notice (less

association

y o u are able to agree this with the

O n c e the rent is agreed o n at the

a c c o m m o d a t i o n ) and this is a b r i e f

l a n d l o r d y o u w i l l continue to be

b e g i n n i n g o f an A S T the l a n d l o r d

council

and housing

agreements

liable for the rent until the e x p i r y

cannot raise it. A t the e n d o f the

regulated b y the n e w H o u s i n g A c t .

o f the m i n i m u m p e r i o d . If y o u are

fixed

Assured Shorthold Tenancy

in this position seek further advice

b e c o m e s a P A S T the charge must

It is l i k e l y that this w i l l be the most

f r o m the W e l f a r e

introduction

common

to

type

of

agreement

term,

if

the

agreement

r e m a i n at the same level unless the

Office.

Joint tenants (i.e. m o r e than one

original contract contained a clause

landlords w i l l ask students to sign.

student signing a single

agreement

a l l o w i n g the l a n d l o r d to review the

An

for a house o r flat) must give notice

rent. N o t e that i f a l a n d l o r d wishes

A S T is a n agreement

which

allows y o u to stay i n the property

jointly,

for a specified p e r i o d o f t i m e , the

possible

minimum

although it is sometimes to

negotiate

with

the

to increase the rent after an A S T has expired and the tenants d o not agree

In

l a n d l o r d and get someone else i n .

with this, the landlord can then gain

order for such a n agreement to be

Y o u should bear i n m i n d , however,

possession

v a l i d a l a n d l o r d must give y o u a

that the l a n d l o r d c a n maintain the

simply giving two months' notice to

separate sheet o f paper stating that

current

quit.

the

Assured

property, regardless o f the fact that

S h o r t h o l d type before y o u sign the

one person m a y have m o v e d out.

being

letting

is

six months.

of

an

m a i n lease. O n c e the period o f time specified by

the agreement

is o v e r ,

the

property can be repossessed b y the

level

for

the

whole

of

It follows

the property

by

f r o m the above that

students should try, i f at all possible

F o r e x a m p l e , i f one o f three joint

to sign agreements

tenants leaves, the r e m a i n i n g t w o

academic year and holiday plans. In

m a y have to increase their share o f

practice,

the rent i n order to m a k e up the

though!

— 6—

this

that suit their

is rarely

possible


18 October 1991

Felix 913

Feature

Fixed T e r m Assured Tenancy

obtained f r o m the U n i o n ' s W e l f a r e

If y o u sign an agreement for a fixed

Office.

p e r i o d o f time and it is not an A S T

Deposits

issue

it is likely to be a F T A T . Y o u have

M o s t landlords w i l l charge tenants

Welfare Office

security o f tenure d u r i n g the p e r i o d

a deposit

within the U n i o n G e n e r a l O f f i c e in

FTAT—Fixed

o f the fixed term and the l a n d l o r d

themselves

Beit Q u a d .

Tenancy

in order

to

against

indemnify

unreasonable

must obtain a court order i f s/he

costs arising when tenants leave the property.

repossess

during

p e r i o d . Special grounds

this

must

be

On

some

from

reimburse them for no good reason.

you

the

W h e n p a y i n g a deposit y o u should

U n l e s s there is a clause i n the

w h i c h also stipulates exactly what

seek

advice

from

deposits

or

even

fail

the money is for. In order to protect yourself

the expirty o f the contract. If y o u

problems regarding this it is a good

are i n this p o s i t i o n , seek a d v i c e .

idea

Expiry of F T A T

outlined in section two o f the I C U

Some

Housing

stipulate

from

to

possible

follow

the

Rights

what w i l l happen to the contract

following

onc e the fixed t e r m expires. If this

landlord

does

procedure

Pack.

these

future

If,

after

guidelines not

return

the

is not specified, the tenant w i l l then

deposit seek a d v i c e f r o m the I C U Welfare Adviser.

Statutory

Assured

Tenant. A l a n d l o r d m a y then only repossess

the property

by

court

I have tried to answer the m o r e common

queries

order and must, in any case give

rights.

notice

(usually

however,

court

can only

back

to

a

two grant

landlord

months).

A

possession i f they

are

The

about

above is

housing

Tenancy Term

Assured

only

a

NEW

ACCESSORIES

A N D

More

detailed

grounds

p r o d u c e d by the W e l f a r e

Rights

Pack

C o p i e s are free and are

USED

BIKES

Effie Road, F u l h a m Broadway,

L o n d o n SW6

law.

HIRE

MONDAY TO SATURDAY

4-6

the

REPAIRS

OPEN: 9.00am - 7 . 0 0 p m

of

Housing

are

BICYCLE

SALES A N D

general

grounds) for possession exists. T h e possession

• •

introduction and not a full statement information can be found i n I C U ' s

stipulated i n the H o u s i n g A c t a n d

Nend-a-Bike

information,

satisfied that a particular ground (or for

P A S T — P e r i o d i c A s s u r e d Shorthold

your

become

a

w h i c h is situated

A S T — A s s u r e d Shorthold Tenancy

obtain a receipt f r o m the l a n d l o r d

it is difficult to leave a F T A T before

may

in the

to

agreement about early termination,

agreements

consulted

occasions

tenant. If a l a n d l o r d is t r y i n g to get out,

I c a n be

Glossary

landlords w i l l try to deduct m o n e y

p r o v e d before a court w i l l evict a

W e l f a r e O f f i c e urgently.

Office.

If y o u need advice on any housing

wishes

to

f r o m the U n i o n G e n e r a l

which

is

Office.

ITD

071-371 5867 C I S T U D E N T S 10% D S IC O U N T ON ALL A C C E S S O R E IS & S E R V C IE S .B K IE SA L R E A D YD S IC O U N T E D .

available

further information o n these can be

Schlum Companies Have It Sooner or later, engineering graduates have to make a decision whether to stay close to the technology that fascinates them and in which they have excelled so far, or whether to move out into management-style functions which are perceived - often quite rightly - to be the most effective way up to the top. In Schlumberger you don't have to face such black-and-white decisions. Schlumberger operates a policy of promotion from within which means that all the senior managers (and we are talking about all the way to the chairman) have come up from the graduate engineer level. While providing unsurpassed management opportunities for young engineers, our system of career development also means that employees are not pigeon-holed or likely to experience one-way tickets into support functions. A typical career in Schlumberger will lead in and out of technical, management and support roles, broadening experience, providing a unique variety and building the strongest corporate management potential of tomorrow. And while we are looking for the potential in our recruits to benefit from this philosophy, we do not compromise on engineering expertise. Which is why we are market leaders in ourfour mainstream activities and are continuing to invest in R&D with a commitment and confidence way beyond that of our competitors. If you would like to know more about these careers which range from industrial engineering in some of the most high-tech plants in the world, to field-based jobs supplying specialised technical services to our oilfield clients all over the globe, please come to our careers evening in the Sherfield Building on 28 October at 6pm or contact us directly by writing to: Schlumberger SCR-FX, PO Box 153, Cambridge CB3 OHG

—7—


Felix 913

Feature

They've done it again - Rag's

18 October 1991

M a n y o f the students a r r i v e d to

cones to restaurant menus to posters

was

register in fancy dress o f v a r y i n g

f r o m v i d e o and r e c o r d stores to the

another total success. T h e r e was so

degrees o f silliness and there was

ultimate - the offer o f a free d i s c o

much

even

second

event

of

the

year

enthusiasm a m o n g

students

that

the

all the

day

went

a

team

singers w h o

of

eight

excellent

sang for m o n e y

and

for R a g f r o m a traffic w a r d e n .

A

fair amount o f treasure relating to

treasure. E v e r y team had a name,

penguins was also brought back, to

A b o u t 280 students took part in

and these were fairly unusual at

the

the actual g a m e o f M o n o p o l y , but

times. Q u o t i n g W i l l Stallard, the

voiceless R a g c h a i r m a n .

exceptionally w e l l .

delight

Mencap

of

our

currently

organised

a

party

at

the c o l l e c t i n g began at m i d n i g h t o n

R a g secretary: 'I had to go into the

Saturday, with 38 students heading

lounge bar and shout for teams to

K i n g ' s C o l l e g e ( K i n g ' s R o a d ) for everyone who collected for the day,

for Leicester Square, to collect from

start c o u n t i n g their m o n e y . T h i n g s

the people leaving the cinemas and

started to get ridiculous w h e n I had

w h i c h included students f r o m many

clubs. T h i s went w e l l and at about

to shout for O G 2 Sex K i t c h e n . It

other

Rags

around

the

country.

Q u i t e a few I C students went a n d , apart f r o m the expensive food and

Rags to riches

d r i n k , it was an excellent e v e n i n g . The

winning

team

was

The

Superteam w h i c h consisted o f N i c k Allen,

Pete

Bowen,

Tamsin

Braisher,

Aled

Fenner,

Heighway

and D e m i Jones. T h e y

Martin

were all part o f the group collecting

Leading

raggies,

through the night. T h e final total raised last Saturday was an a m a z i n g £8,290.72, w h i c h

Beccy Land and

almost d o u b l e d the amount raised at

Marc

last

year's

Ellis

the

Tiddlywinking

Cloakrooms

a.k.a.

Monopoly.

This,

c o m b i n e d with the m o n e y raised at and

during

the

Rag

Freshers'

W e e k , means that R a g has raised

the mute

o v e r £11,000 i n o n l y two weeks. T h i s is a third o f the final total for

swan on

last year. A t this rate, R a g is g o i n g to be unbelievably huge this year

-

keep up the g o o d w o r k .

Monopoly.

So Hiya,

far

it's Penguin

the R A G

C h a i r m a n here again.

Monopoly

RAG,

for

those o f y o u w h o still haven't c o m e across

it this late

into t e r m ,

is

has raised

basically students raising money for

£8,300.

that way).

charity in the most fun way possible ('cause it's easier to raise m o n e y We

do it exceptionally

w e l l at I . C . , but this year has far exceeded

anyone's

expectations.

W i t h o n l y two events gone w e ' r e already almost a third o f o u r w a y to last years o v e r a l l total! A s w e l l as that, this year we

have

p e o p l e i n v o l v e d than ever

more before

and the fun atmosphere associated w i t h it is second to none! Last

Saturday

was

Live

M O N O P O L Y , at w h i c h we raised a staggering £8,290.72, an amount that I owe entirely to those who took part. E v e r y o n e w h o participated, 4

am

the

group

headed

for

S m i t h f i e l d M a r k e t . Unfortunately, w h e n they a r r i v e d , they found that

took three attempts before I got a

even those who participated a small

reply out o f t h e m . '

amount had a brilliant d a y , w h i c h

Nearly

e v e r y o n e attempted the

it was shut until M o n d a y . T h e y then

M o n o p o l y clues ( w h i c h s o m e said

d e c i d e d to m a k e their w a y to N e w

were too difficult), and e v e r y o n e

C o v e n t G a r d e n Market. F i v e people

managed

went by taxi and the rest made their

along the way. A lot o f people have

way

by tube.

to collect some

money

is g o o d because it means that I ' m doing m y job

properly.

R i g h t , d o w n to business. Seeing as

you're

reading

this

during

F r i d a y ' s lectures (like everyone else

S o m e d e c i d e d that

now raised enough money for a R a g

in college) that means that there is

they w o u l d head back and get some

m u g , and a few have even collected

now

sleep before M o n o p o l y , and the rest

e n o u g h for a R a g T - shirt.

third massive R a g event o f term: it's

went to either the E l e p h a n t Castle Market.

or

to

Portobello

Everyone

was

and Road

back

at

M o s t o f the treasure acquired was done

so

pleasant

which

made

a

going to be literally hundreds taking

change

from

previous

part (although that doesn't mean we

years.

Monopoly,

spectacular.

had any sleep.

without

having

Some

of

The

it

was

items

quite

collected

ranged f r o m the inevitable traffic

—8—

this Saturday (19th Oct) and there's

legally,

college by 10 a m to take part i n the most

less than 24 hours until the

d o n ' t want m o r e ) . It's g o i n g to be fun,

frantic,

frivolous.

It's

but

above

called

'The

all, Great


18 October 1991

Feature

Felix 913 course! S o , be m a d , be silly and be part o f it! L a s t l y , there have been v i c i o u s r u m o u r s f l y i n g about that the loss o f m y v o i c e is entirely 'a R a g stunt' and that I 'must be raising loads for charity d o i n g i t ' . W e l l , for anyone w h o I h a v e n ' t already down'

for,

'written it

it's not and I ' m

T h u s I apologise

for

not!

not h a v i n g

leapt in front o f any lectures be i ng

very

bumped

talkative

into

Hopefully

me

my

or

if

you've

this

week.

voice

will

have

returned by the t i me y o u get r o u n d to reading this or b y t o d a y ' s

Rag

meeting, i n the U n i o n L o u n g e at 12.40pm,

to

which

everyone's

welcome, could prove even more fun than u s u a l .

Penguin, Rag C h a i r m a n . P.S.

Rag

Week

starts

on

15th

N o v e m b e r . T h i s year it's g o i n g to be v e r y b i g ,

so start t h i n k i n g o f

what y o u , y o u r c l u b s , y o u r h a l l , y o u r friends and y o u r pet antarctic monochromatic flightless waterfowl can

all

welcome.

do

for Please

it.

Any contact

ideas me

a.s.a.p. v i a the R a g p i g e o n hole i n the U n i o n O f f i c e .

Sarah,

the Rag Treasurer, Straightens her toupee an exhausting day.

after

Sightseeing C h a l l e n g e ' . B e T h e r e !

(iii) A n On-the-Spot Scavenge (as

O . K . so I suppose y o u want to

above), only after having completed

k n o w something about it. W e l l how

one o f these c a n y o u r team be told

do these prospects grab y o u :

w h e r e the next sight is. If at any

(i) M u g g i n g tourists to find out

point y o u r team can't fulfil the task

h o w m a n y b e d r o o m s there are i n

c h o s e n y o u c a n change task, but

B u c k i n g h a m Palace.

y o u w i l l i n c u r a penalty. T h e team

(ii) Y o u and y o u r team b u i l d i n g

c o m p l e t i n g the route with fewest

a human p y r a m i d outside St. P a u l ' s

penalties are the winners.

Cathedral.

event o f a tie (quite l i k e l y w i t h

In the

(iii) Y o u and y o u r team f i ndi ng

nearly 50 teams), the w i n n i n g team

a pint o f T h a m e s water without a

w i l l be the one with the highest

pint glass, in L o n d o n at this h o u r !

amount c o l l e c t e d . E a s y ? T r y it!

W e l l these are all challenges that

T h e r e w i l l be prizes for the top

y o u may or m a y not c o m e across

five freshers o n l y teams

on

veterans are m o r e than welcome) as

Saturday's

Great

Sightseeing

C h a l l e n g e . L e t m e e x p l a i n further T h e G . S . S . C . is yet another fun day out for all the family (?),

but

o f course being R a g , t r y i n g to raise as

much

money

tomorrow's

case,

for

charity

(in

UNICEF)

as

well

as

other

(although

prizes

for

top

collectors and o u r usual incentive scheme

for

the • amount

raised

d u r i n g the year : £50 = F r e e M u g , £150 = Free

F r e e T - S h i r f and £300

Sweatshirt. done

So

if

=

you've

possible in the process. T h e a i m is

already

for y o u r team- o f 4 to 6 (so if y o u

M o n o p o l y y o u ' r e well o n y o u r way

Tiddlywinks

or

haven't got one together yet do it

already. U N I C E F are also g i v i n g

now) to complete the course i n the

prizes for best i n d i v i d u a l totals, but

time permitted, hopefully

as with last w e e k, there's loads o f

having

collected some m o n e y en route. T h e route w i l l take y o u a r o u n d

other

Rags

country

from

coming

the the

competition

so if y o u ' r e new in town, or y o u just

h o w e v e r m e a n that the party be i ng

want a fun day out c o m e and j o i n

.held

here

by

high.

so

about 9 o f L o n d o n ' s greatest sights,

us. E v e r y b o d y ' s w e l c o m e (whether

is

all a r o u n d down,

This

UNICEF

in

does the

e v e n i n g s h o u l d be a stormer

y o u ' v e done any R a g events yet or

Register f r o m 10am to 12am in

not). A t each sight y o u r team w i l l

Beit Q u a d . T h e marshals w i l l be

have the c h o i c e o f either:

returning at about 5 . 3 0 p m , so the

(i) A Q u i c k Q u e s t i o n

sooner y o u start the better chance

(ii) A P h y s i c a l C h a l l e n g e

y o u w i l l have o f c o m p l e t i n g the

—9—


18 October 1991

Felix 913

Music

amounts

The Pixies -Trompe le Monde

Nine Inch Nails

'Fuck, while

to

nothing

more

m a n . A i n ' t space heavily

stoned.

than huge?'

I

might

suggest i t ' s a little m o r e than that. 'Bossanova'

w as

spacey i m a g e r y ,

loaded

with

and ' T r o m p e . . . '

takes it further. T h e y still use those o d d r h y t h m i c twists a n d j e r k s i n their blunt but effective m e t h o d o f This

band

supported

Guns

engaging the listener, so m u c h so

N'

that

I ' m also g i v e n to believe

Roses.

this

synonymy

could

S i m o n (yes, y o u k n o w the d r i l l . . . )

c o n c e i v a b l y metamorphose

into a

'Bates' has played their latest single

bizarre self-parody, but it has to be

o n R a d i o O n e , not that I listen to

said

W a n k s p e a k , y o u understand. W h a t

stylistically

is most surprising about this band

'Trompe...'.

is that they bear m o r e relation to,

'Bossanova', had a similar power

say, Ministry,

N o t that

N'R.

songs, ' S a d P u n k ' and ' U - M a s s ' i n particular, but the harsh, punky jolts

did.

and

So

does

l . p . , and is sleek

inarticulate gut instincts, fear a n d

be

Progenitor

about The Pixies

is a something

o f an

recounted,

I'm

not thinking

right n o w . N o ,

eerily

stubborness.

corporate assassin o f a song. It's

veritable

Rock n' Roll

Francis'

about

voice

Their cover of

The

'Head O n '

and

flogs the o r i g i n a l to death, b y the

n ' R o l l is not

way. T h i s is a very c o o l record, and

obviously, Rock

sweet

maintain their glorious pig-shit thick

Jesus and Mary Chain's

aggression.

a

'Black'

is a primal thing, articulating for the loathing,

in fact,

Charles

Franci s o f The Pixies.

is the o p e n i n g track o n

brutal,

from

what r o c k n ' r o l l , were about. H e

F o r some strange reason about to

and

about

'Velouria',

any less

T h e aforementioned single, Head this re-released

something rock

they didn't understand what he, and

miffed.

like a Hole

is

heavy

than G

Mode

they're

there

c h o r d structure to a lot o f these

Front 242 o r a w e l l

f u c k i n ' ' a r d Depeche

that

desire

h i g h art, but it is at once

one I strongly advocate

ownership

of, but d o n ' t k i l l for it. 'Planet o f

angry m a n g o i n g by the name o f

I ' m t h i n k i n g about twat musos and

surface and symbol (thanks, Oscar).

Trent

their

W e intellectualise r o c k n ' r o l l at o u r

S o u n d ' et a l , keep Pixies

peril.

o f all sharp a n d bitching p o p at the

Reznor,

and as

a

vocal

analogy, y o u might care to imagine The

with InXS

Exorcist

Michael

phallic

egocentricity.

I'm

t h i n k i n g about s c u m - s u c k i n g r o c k n ' r o l l virtuosity, notes-per-second

S o n o w , after deftly a v o i d i n g the obvious, I ' m going to talk about the

H u t c h e n c e replacing L i n d a B l a i r .

etc.

F r o m a p u r r to a g r o w l o f s y n t h -

H e n d r i x and the legions o f wankers

Pixies.

he

Francis'

h o o k that's as velvety and elegant

I'm

thinking

unwittingly

about

spawned

Jimi

because

It has been r e m a r k e d that interest

in the

cosmos

at the top

m o m e n t , but w e all k n o w p o p is a n art f o r m . T h a n k s again, O s c a r . A l l art is useless.

David

as it is m e n a c i n g and aggressive,

Head

like

is pure p o p

a Hole

b u b b l i n g away in a c a u l d r o n full o f malevolence.

Reznor's lyrics and

d e l i v e r y set h i m f i r m l y in the i v o r y tower prison camp for social misfits

Chapterhouse -Mesmerise

HAIRDRESSERS 15A H A R R I N G T O N R O A D , SOUTH KENSINGTON 071-823 8968

( ' T h e D e v i l wants to fuck m e i n the back o f his c a r and there's nothing like the feel

quite

of

something

n e w ' ) . A s a se'er o f the w o r l d , he hardly sports rose-tinted shades, but very

occasionally,

impression convinced Maybe

that

I

even

get he

b y his v i s i o n

it's d o w n

herein.

to the

poppy

quality he' imbues his v o i c e w i t h , w h i c h makes the prospect o f N i n e Inch N a i l s even more alarming than Perry

Farrell, AI Jourgenson or

e v e n , g o d f o r b i d , Jello B i a f r a . for the rest

As

Machine, up

o f Pretty

and eerie

funk to the point where this c o u l d be

considered

p r o m i s i n g debut.

a

Terrible

very Lie

is

eminently freaky, as is That's what I get,

both taking the skeleton o f

punk, coating liberally with highlypolished

chrome

and

taking

o n b o a r d the g l e a m i n g d e m o n o f a cyberpsychosis. N e v e r is this m o r e on

the

bizarrely

apparent

than

beautiful

' S o m e t h i n g I c a n never

have'. T h i s is sick, unholy shit, but, as R e z n o r says h i m s e l f with m o r e than a m o d i c u m o f p r i d e , I'm

all messed u p ' . Y e a h ,

M a y b e I a m , too.

David

would

c a l l them, but this c o m e s

close third. A

massive c h u n k o f

noise is m i x e d with a v o c a l that

'Maybe right.

to

ready

pounce

on

any

C h e c k us o u t !

like lave

on a

unsuspecting listener.

melodies

e m b e l l i s h a fine slab o f industrial rightly

Pearl m a y have been m a y favorite track f r o m ' T h e S c e n e ' as the press

lurks menacingly below the surface,

Hate

it's nervy enough; broken

rhythms

W e have a fantastic offer f o r a l l y o u students, a c u t w a s h a n d b l o w d r y b y o u r t o p stylist ( w h i c h n o r m a l l y costs a r o u n d £21) F o r o n l y £11 M e n £12 W o m e n

the isn't

It

flows

along

carpet, sticking like glue to anyone or

anything

it c a n . A t stages it

appears to d i e , only to re-emerge like,

well

something

that

re-

emergeges, full o f life and ready for action. On

the flip

where

they

themselves

is another appear

to

remix sample

(that gets around the

legal problems, g o o d thinking) and this time the vocals are definitely relegated to the third d i v i s i o n . T h e pure noise and energy takes and the enjoyment begins.

over

People

might c o m p l a i n , ' a n d w h e r e ' s the m u s i c ? ' , w e l l i s n ' t m u s i c al about enjoying

yourself?

Pebbles

10—


c

x

8

Chaim Velial: Live? version

'classic'.

O f those

succeeded,

of, ahem,

a

o c c a s i o n e d to w o n d e r w h e r e i n lies

orchestrations

their

sense

o f the absurd

obviously

bombing

bloody mischievous, but its location

guitar

and

Sadean

there,

- it's

replaced by a lurid haze o f d i v e -

i t ' s perfectly

malevolence.

In the b a c k g r o u n d ,

is d a m n e d difficult, so genuine, so

I can think o f three,

foreground,

FUCKING

often, seem their sentiments - but

v e r s i o n o f Hot

of Mercy's

Chocolate's

chamber

Fist, it's

have

that

maybe four, off the top o f m y head. Sisters

a list like this, I ' m

Train.

o f M a r c A l m o n d ' s Mother ornate

definitive

With

tribute to ' a son o f the c i t y ' , a cover

Emma, The Fail 'doing

a j o b ' on The Kinks'

Victoria,

of Elvis'

Nick

an

awesome

this is a m i n o r point with w h i c h to

state o f total g r o o v e . E v e n before

contradict

the sculptured feedback

p e r f o r m a n c e . F u c k , but I w i s h I ' d

has

been

twisted ' r o u n d o n its final axis, the k i c k s into action f o r a

drumbox

so

massive

a

been there. T h i s extraordinary show is closed

I have a strange feeling that this tape

Cave's

is a bootleg.

Ghetto, and possibly Scott W a l k e r ' s

white noise trip through M a d n e s s '

w i t h , and I quote,

a homage ' t o

heartbreaking rendi ti on o f Jacques

'Michael

Y e a r Z e r o s ' . Chaim

Velial,

surprised rather

N o t o n l y a m I not

b y this,

proud

I ' m actually

o f it. S o there.

I

cover

EVERYWHERE,

B r e l ' s // You Go Away.

personally feel there is something

I hear, Chaim

rather disquieting about the w h o l e

of

ethos o f little o r u n k n o w n

sometimes

bands

confusing

In the

F r o m what

m a k e a point

Velial

their

playing

audience,

sets

entirely

the

swirling

o f growing

then

pop

icons;

Black,

I say 'Just C o v e r s ' ?

the

a

really

extraordinary

contribution to e v e n

merely add

something to, let alone r e c o r d the

chill

d e c a y i n g sound are w o v e n c h o i c e

original, sometimes just covers. D i d

takes

Prince,

T h e vocalist, mysteriously k n o w n

Einsturzende Dan.

'Matthew'

opens

this

r e m a r k a b l y g o o d r e c o r d i n g with a

Primal

whole

only

as

is truly

Throughout

of

T h e s e days it

that

bewildering.

p l a y i n g live sets consisting entirely c o v e r versions.

Caine'

Scream,

Big

Adam & the Ants, spectrum

'arty'

name,

such a

p r o c e e d to

l a m p o o n (and harpoon) the entire -world

with

a razor-sharp,

metal maniac o f Dead Holiday

sheet

Kennedys' every one o f

in Cambodia,

including

Jello Biafra's sneers reinvented with

Neubauten and Steely

an astounding m e n a c e . T h i s is a

Jesus C h r i s t , they even cast a

shadow

serious

over

Sisters

of

Mercy's

mighty and frightening experience; I c a n ' t wait to see t h e m . David

This Picture -A Violent Impression

Suzanne Vega -Tom's Album T h e r e is a definite Irish feeling to this r e c o r d , be it the lilting v o c a l , the subtle pipes and v i o l i n o r the soft m e l l o w m e l o d i e s , a n y w a y y o u l o o k at it y o u see a c l o v e r leaf. I ' m not going to c o m p a r e them to other

D e e p in M a n h a t t a n , o n

Irish bands, that's unfair o n t h e m

lives a small diner. T o m ' s .

and o n y o u . T h i s is g o o d

mellow

o p e n this a l b u m w i t h a r e m i x o f

Broadway, DNA

stuff that o c c a s i o n a l l y rocks out a

Rusted Pipe from the Days Of Open

little to get y o u r feet tapping and the

Hand

m i n d racing.

track. T h e then follows the o r i g i n a l

It all makes m e feel like riding in a convertible with the r o o f

a l b u m , i n c l u d e d as a bonus

version,

down

plain,

sparse,

barren,

adjective, and then this a l b u m gets

r o l l i n g along a quite country lane,

seriously w a r p e d .

the w i n d in m y hair and not a care

in G e r m a n , a c o m p l e t e l y unrelated

in the w o r l d .

It makes y o u

feel

rap sung b y N i k k i

ha ppy , j o l l y a n d , w e l l there's n o

conversation is love and the general

thesaurus so add a w o r d

illquality o f what is available.

own.

o f your

A s f o r the w o r d s ,

they're

E n g l i s h and m a k e about as m u c h sense as a parrot o n speed. A s far as

I c a n tell

the m a i n

topic o f

typical topic but as they say,

A 'the

background

a d d to the m e l l o w

T h e guitars mix perfectly with the m o o d , and the light d r u m i n the

A l l good

Voice

Of The Beehive poly,

shock!!

week

after

nearly

Despite

play South And

only a

playing

o u r beloved

here.

London

than

a r o u n d the b a c k g r o u n d ,

more

Waiting

quiche pastiche o n the subject o f the quite funny. T h e n there's the first

T r a n s p o r t setting fire to a train at

Of

and say, ' w h o the h e l l are y o u ? "

(Voice Nothing)

supermarkets, and other such things

Of The Beehive,

in a sweet and l o v e l y

way to the industrial style bar with

And, o n r e c o r d , what are they like

way.

I Say

But so what i f they sound

similar? A t least they d o n ' t sound like Chapterhouse.

E l e p h a n t and C a s t l e , I found m y

are

dreamy

Forget-me-nots

a n d soft,

a n d when

a fine selection o f lager. In clouds

on record? Sweet and lovely, again,

E i t h n e sings ' T u r n s m y light o h o h

o f d r y ice out c o m e two girls, w h o

in a p o p p y k i n d o f w a y ,

oh o n , ' I b e g i n to feel that m a y b e ,

I will instead

call

Michelle

o f Tracey

and the

and Eithne,

Beehive

i n them creeps into their

just maybe, this is a truly wonderful

and Melissa,

lyrics.

Compare

r e c o r d . Forget-Me-Nots,

a n d discuss.

because, f o r the second time i n a

' T h e r e ' s a m a n in your bed and he's

week, I have a s u s p i c i o n that this

asking y o u r name'

(Forget-me-nots,

—

love y o u . Lise

Yates

it o v e r .

Italo-house,

Jeannie.

Remember

that. N o ,

neither d i d anyone else in m y flat.

G i r l ) ' H e ' l l wake up in the m o r n i n g

about

turn

something excellent about / Dream

is not in fact a pair o f W e s t coast

a n d sing

point, a reggae v e r s i o n . O h

low well,

yankees (in the noose), but instead some Irish people. T h e y b r i n g with

and then w h i c h is a

At The Border

g u l f war, G e o r g e B u s h and a l l . It's

stuff.

Pebbles

them three lads,

D . usi ng the

de d o d e p " bit s k u l k i n g

rather

m o o d y tracks.

o l d ones are still the best'.

"dep

the s l o w e r

atmosphere overpowering

Forget-Me-Nots -Live at the South Bank Poly Bank

A v e r s i o n sung

I think I

But I d o . It was this 6 0 ' s

series

about a genie, a n d . . . T h e next track is a rap rewrite, and it's quite g o o d as far as rap c o u l d be. T h e n there's a Swedish DNA

version,

moins de la

backbeat, and then o f f to the

Borderline,

f o r REM's

(Bingo)

Hand Job d o i n g a v e r y silly v e r s i o n the

original

instrumental, and DNA's

smash,

about

nothing,

w h i c h is where we started. T o o c o o l for w o r d s . Lise

Yates


18 October 1991

Felix 913

Reviews

Drop Dead Fred

Doc Hollywood

I have been told that e x p e r i e n c i n g

M i c h a e l J . F o x ! T e e n a g e girls !

R i k M a y a l l is one o f the finer points

F a s t cars ! A d o l e s c e n t fantasies a-

of

go-go ! W o w ,

getting

to

know

the

English

mentality. I have seen Drop

sit back and wait for

an hour and h a l f o f w i s e c r a c k i n '

Dead

inimitable fun with the F o x !

Fred twice n o w , once w h e n I was

A c t u a l l y , it appears that M i k e y

still in T h e States, and f r a n k l y , the second time a r o u n d it is terribly

has g o n e A D U L T

tedious. T h i s m o v i e seems to have

means the m o v i e ' s (wow,

been

great w o r d ! m o v i e ' s ! entering new

put

together

as

a

tool

of

a n d alas, that

etymological

what a

masturbation for dear o l d R i k . T h i s

uncharted

i s n ' t to say that the m o v i e does not

here ! W h e r e possessives have no

territory

have some extraordinary strokes, as

though he is quite invisible to her.

m e a n i n g and the apostrophe is the

uninhibited l o c a l lass, L o u , (Julie

it were, o f genius, but it does get

A l s o a bright spot in this film is her

e n e m y o f m a n !) also gone A D u L T

W a r n e r ) and a variety o f

a bit tiring after a w h i l e . T h e r e are

childhood

and that means, natch, that stuff

s m a l l - t o w n folks. H i s car c a n ' t be

about

fixed because the locals tend to deal

just

so

many

pelvic

thrusts

for

emnhasis a v i e w e r c a n take. H a v i n g said this, I w o u l d like to point out some o f the finer points

best

friend.

acceptance o f her head

His

problems

ReLATioNShlPS

and e v e n his attempt to j o i n in o n

MoTiVATioN

the insanity is quite funny.

SeaRCHiNG

T h i s is definitely a one-time see,

and

and have

SoUL

entered

(very)

in swine rather than pearls, so he

the

whiles away the time trying to lever

picture. A n d the picture is this : T h e

his way into L o u ' s pants and having

extremely

but

the

F o x is a w h i z z surgeon w h o ' s had

a few emotional medical sequences.

supporting

daytime please. I wouldn't want y o u

e n o u g h o f h e l p i n g the needy and

In the e n d , all c o m e s out h a p p i l y ,

actors add a d e c i s i v e edge to the

wasting an extra three quid. In fact,

w o r k i n g his butt o f f and all that

he w a r m s to the place, etc. etc.

f i l m . C a r r i e F i s h e r , plays the role

see it o n v i d e o ; it should be ready

stuff, so h e ' s o f f to C a l i f o r n i a to

o f Best F r i e n d that she perfected in

for release i n the next m o n t h . R i k

earn h i m some big money o n the nip

Her

M a y a l l can provide a laugh at times,

' n ' tuck market. O n his w a y ,

although these laughs do require the

carelessly fails to spot a pair o f

the transition f r o m b u b b l e - g u m

intellect

c o w s i n the road (of

A D U L T with a reasonable degree

of

this

otherwise

mediocre movie.

When

Harry

The

Met

Sally.

character is a new age lawyer.

This

is

corporate

wonderfully

only

once,

of

a

spouts

to

the

bovine

whole

actors is e n o u g h to give y o u the

!) into, the l o c a l j u d g e ' s fence. S a i d

pleasantly.

film.

j u d g e is not too happy and orders

throwing your money away.

friend

However,

i f y o u like R i k M a y a l l ,

h i m to p e r f o r m c o m m u n i t y service

g o see it for g o d ' s sake - it's m a d e

by w a y o f recompense. W h i l e he

when she indulges her 'imagination'

just for y o u !

does

and tries to strangle

Fred,

even

to maintain interest; T h e F o x makes

o f smoothness and generally

does seem to treat L i z z i e as a c h i l d

she

unsurprising

Porsche Speedster (fast car ! fast car

of

endurance to sit through the

However,

deeply

variety) and consequently drives his

and

' V i s u a l i s e ! V i s u a l i s e ! ' to her dear Elizabeth.

a

brilliant

a

and

old

is

supporting

performances

hand

seven-year

he

This

f i l m , but it has e n o u g h q u i r k s in it

the

detect,

search for her e n d o r p h i c h i g h with in

during

the

expressed when she p o w e r walks in cigarette

and

so,

gritting

his

teeth

shebang

bubbles

You

to the

along

wouldn't

be

The Flying Gerbil

in

frustration, he meets a r e m a r k a b l y

Jennifer Argabright.

The Rescuers Down Under sequences

can

be

computer

designed

flowing

action

seen

to

with to

be

smooth

immense

p r e c i s i o n . T h e animation is v e r y g o o d (but not up to Little

Mermaid

standards) and s o m e o f the voi c es A f t e r only

are well chosen. B o b Newhart gives

14 years B e r n a r d and

v o i c e to B e r n a r d ,

B i a n c a are back in a r i p - r o a r i n g adventure mind's

eye's

deepest

albatross,

dreams

do

c r o c o d i l e s there is a goanna l i z a r d

movie,

D i s n e y kids have negligible noses?)

w h o provides slapstick aplenty in a

uncanny deja-vu, but there is a new

who

menacing

action

tilt.

action,

with the brat

nose

(why

has been caught b y a nasty

poacher

while

rescuing

fickle

George

C.

Scott

to

Rogers to Jake the kangaroo mouse.

T h e y ' r e out to rescue another k i d negligible

to

M c L e a c h the poacher and T r i s t a n

imagination. O k a y , it's A u s t r a l i a . with

E v a Gabor

B i a n c a , J o h n C a n d y to W i l b u r the

set at the limit o f the

bunch

manner of

and the

amiable

usual

verbose

and

some

of

Possibly

it too

gives much

coming

so

Jake

has

the

some o f the accents really have to

It's

great.

marsupials. T h e albatross is b a c k

close to death that he c o u l d read the

saw the previous tale, the poacher

(well his brother) and the r o m a n c e

label o n the reapers pants, and even

smashing

needs the c h i l d to get the treasure

between lead m i c e is aflame. T h i s

the

really great.

(flipping huge eagle). Rather than

may

macho

sound

rather

like

the

first

of

he-mouse.

Bernard A

lot

as

a of

realistic

be heard.

a n i m a l s . Pretty o b v i o u s l y , i f y o u

emergence

only

A u s t r a l i a n accent i n the f i l m and

Really

lovely.

great.

Bit

Super

short,

The Amazing Machine

but


Felix 913

18 October 1991

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18 October 1991

Felix 913

Editorial I have been told that so far this

letter and it has not been i n c l u d e d ,

tough

o n the c o l l e g e

this w i l l be due to one o f several

authorities. T h i s m a y appear to be

reasons; it was r u b b i s h ; it was not

enough

l

apologise. I f y o u have submitted a

year, this newspaper has not been

true, but it is not because I have

signed b y the author; o r it missed

e v e r y o n e i f y o u were to j o i n any

time o f writing I can guarantee that

been converted to t h i n k i n g that the

the deadline ( M o n d a y 12.30). I will

one o f them.

this w o n ' t be managed.

Sherfield bureaucrats are j o l l y nice

not guarantee

people, but because I have not yet

article, though I w i l l d o m y best i f

r e c e i v e d m u c h i n f o r m a t i o n to get

submitted

m y teeth into. It is not for want o f

aforementioned deadline.

trying.

the i n c l u s i o n o f any before

the

Oh,

A r t i c l e s solicited and unsolicited

the tribulations o f being a

are w e l c o m e to

newspaper editor. I shall stop this

F e l i x , provided that they are signed

wittering immediately as I a m being

on

a n y subject

by the author - the name does not

severely

is a dearth o f news i n

have to be printed, but I need to

g o i n g o n next door.

at the m o m e n t .

k n o w as the editor.

Credits

No time like the present

News: Megan

There

Bits and Pieces

college

I have received some letters w h i c h

somebody

have not been signed by the author.

some? A bit o f c o r r u p t i o n i n high

T h i s issue is somewhat smaller than

The

places generally goes d o w n

please

Could

go and make

distracted b y the d i s c o

Stef,

Jonty, N i g e l ,

Phil,

usual. T h i s is because:

Photography: S i m o n and others

R a s h ' , w h i c h I d o n ' t believe is a

though failing that, a nice meaty sex

a) I ' m not getting m u c h sleep due

Reviews:

proper

scandal would be helpful. If nothing

to being h o r r i b l y o v e r w o r k e d and

S p a v i d D o o n e r , P o d d y and all the

turns u p I w i l l have to engineer

b) A l l the printing has to be done

new

some news to fend o f f accusations

b y 5 . 0 0 p m o n T h u r s d a y . A t the

Articles:

latest

was n a m e d

na m e ,

though

'Crouch i f it is I

BEER FESTIVAL 20th

well,

of being boring. T h i s is not difficult to do, though I'd rather not. I would - including more

Do you look over 30 on Sunday mornings?

national

stories relevant to I C students - but

November

this

cannot be done

people

I am now ordering the beers for the 1991 beer festival. I f you have any preferences, please write them down and address them to Richard Evers c/o IC R a g or R C S U n i o n b y 30th October.

more

in

news

gathering. If y o u w o u l d like to help i n f o r m the college o f what's g o i n g on,

get i n v o l v e d i n college media

- I C R a d i o , next to Southside shop,

For bi-weekly matches phone Rob Carty on 081-316 9000 (day) or E r i c Hudson 081-337 3200 (eves)

S T O I C (television), o n the top floor of

the U n i o n B u i l d i n g , o r us i n

F e l i x , i n the far right hand corner of

Beit

Quad.

The

three

organisations should be able to pool their

1WÂŁCAf

are i n v o l v e d

until

news,

so it w o u l d

Iff' LOOKS LIKETHIS...

Beccy, Z o e ,

T y p e s e t a n d phone m i n d e r : F r a u Rose von Atkins Printing and Goatee B e a r d E d i t o r : A n d y ' B u r l Ives' T h o m p s o n Computer Monitor Zappers: T o b y and James R u s h i n g around frantically: Jeremy Contributors: Steve N , A n d y B , the P U s , S a m and hods o f sorrows for those I ' v e forgotten. Felix

is p r o d u c e d

f o r a n d b e h a l f o f the

Imperial College Union Publications Board and is p r i n t e d b y the I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e U n i o n Print Unit. Prince Consort R o a d . L o n d o n SW7

2 B B . (Tel: 071-225 8672).

Editor:

A d a m Harrington, Business M a n a g e r : Jeremy Copyright

Felix

1991. ISSN

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18 October 1991

Felix 913

Letters

Bailey's back and

Naff letter of the

boring as ever

week

Dear

Sexual H e a l i n g according to M a r v i n

Adam,

Re—Christian

Outreach

last

issue.

Why

a m I writing

this letter?

I wondered i f m y fellow students,

W e l l in a church i n East L o n d o n the local vicar publicly pronounced that

Union

could

tell

m e what has

he is not o n l y g ay but also carries

i n the

the A I D S v i r u s . H e says he c a n ' t

doctrine o f the C h u r c h o f E n g l a n d ?

understand w h y G o d has g i v e n h i m

I ' m talking about the case o f R e v

this disease. W e ' r e g o i n g to have

to forgiveness

T y l e r w h o was k i c k e d out o f his j o b

to let h i m w o r k that one out for

because

he c o u l d not resist 'the

himself.

B u t w i l l this geezer be

temptations o f the f l e s h ' f r o m one

charged

with ' b r i n g i n g the g a m e

of

into d i s r e p u t e ' . I think not.

his female

parishioners.

The

T h e R e v . T y l e r , w h o was k i c k e d

he behaved i n a w a y ' u n b e c o m i n g

out o f his family h o m e a n d g i v e n

to his p o s i t i o n ' , a sort o f b r i n g i n g

the elbow b y the c h u r c h , must think

the g a m e into disrepute I suppose!

himself

H e c o m f o r t e d his parishioner after

C h r i s t i a n U n i o n c o u l d e x p l a i n this

a bereavement

i n her f a m i l y , a n d

unlucky.

Perhaps

the

to m e , because it seems that i f R e v

to g i v e

her a

serious

on a

regular

basis.

c h o i r b o y s , collected funds for the

A p p a r e n t l y they were g o i n g at it

I R A o r c a m p a i g n e d for the release

comforting

this year. O r £2.50 to j o i n a n d see

T y l e r had interfered with one o f his

like rabbits for twelve m o n t h s , a n d

o f the ' R e n a u l t 5 ' then he w o u l d

y o u c o u l d say he took the l a y i n g o n

have been

forgiven.

o f hands a bit too far! C o u l d this

Yours

as

always,

have been based o n the G o s p e l o f

Alan

Bailey.

the

stress y o u must be under. I suppose

film.

Yours,

it must have been stress to call the Science Fiction society ' F i l m S o c ' as

Alex

McLintock,

ICSF

Chairentity.

y o u d i d in ' W h a t ' s O n ' last F e l i x . Y o u even left I C S F i n the message

This is one of the most pathetic

itself. But what's m o r e , in the same

letters I have ever seen. It speaks

issue, y o u printed an article about

volumes on the state of mind of

the film i n w h i c h I C S F was mispelt

an I C S F trainspotter that they

TCOF'.

as

The

Society

of

OmniFiction?

to

misprint

Unbound'—a

think the universe shakes at the misspelling of one of their entries.

C a n I ask whether y o u are g o i n g

c h u r c h c o u r t ' s reasoning was that

continued

Adam,

I just wanted to enquire about the

w h o are m e m b e r s o f the C h r i s t i a n happened

Dear

Gaye?

'Frankenstein

film

based

o n the

I do not have the time to proof read

everything

McLintock

but

finds

since

Mr

typographical

story b y B r i a n A l d i s s ? S h o w n b y

errors so obscene I now

the Imperial C o l l e g e U n i o n Society

him

of

E d i t o r , and he is now responsible

Science Fiction,

Fantasy a n d

to

elevate

Typographical

Error

H o r r o r . T a k i n g place o n T u e s d a y

for organising proof-reading

O c t o b e r 22, 7 p m in M e c h E n g 220.

this

T h e cost w i l l b e £1 to members w h o

complaints of such errors must be

have already seen one o f o u r films

directed towards h i m .

office.

Henceforward

in any

Adam.

UROP: Undergraduate Research Opportunities Programme Are you thinking of doing paid U R O P work with a member of I C faculty during the summer vacation 1992? If you are, please try to settle details as soon as possible so that the member of faculty can, if necessary, apply for funds.

It makes my job worthwhile Dear

Also, note: deadline for applications for the Delaware (USA) exchange - Friday, 15 November. (Information meeting at 13.30 on Wednesday 6 November in room 342 Mech.Eng.) For further details of the UROP scheme, see the UROP 1991-1992 Directory available (free) from the UROP office, Room 313C, Level 3, Mechanical Engineering Building.

n e w s p a p e r ' as b e i n g suitably l o w

Editor,

I would

wholeheartedly

like to

agree with y o u r proposal to change

key

thus

preventi n g

a

situation

similar to the present one arising i n

the name o f F e l i x . Personally, I find

another fifty years. T h e use o f little

the m a n n e r o f e x - I C students w h o

letters is deliberate so as to fit w i t h

automatically

y o u r ' e d i t o r i a l ' heading (I

ask after

F e l i x , as

though it w e r e a fixture a n d fitting

suggest

that

o f college life, painful almost to the

consistency

would

i n the interests y o u write

all

of

your

point o f being patronising. In these

headlines i n l o w e r case). F i n a l l y , i n

times,

case people shoul d w o r r y that this

when

the g o v e r n m e n t

is

education

w o u l d detract f r o m the relevance o f

system so liberally, I see little point

F e l i x T h e C a t , he c o u l d a l w a y s be

in

renamed

running

the

further

maintaining

such

trivial

connections with O l d Centralians et at. As sound

—15—

Yours for the n e w n a m e , of

'the i m p e r i a l

' T h e imperial

college

newspaper c a t ' . faithfully,

try the

Daniel

Shields,

college

P . S . K e e p u p the g o o d

Elec

Eng

2.

work!


18 October 1991

Felix 913

News

Blue Chip Rag

Nobel Prize

Afro-Carlb Ban T h e A f r o - C a r i b b e a n Society c o u l d

The Nobel

soon be a l l o w e d to h o l d events i n

been

P r i z e for P h y s i c s has

won

by

Pierre-Gilles

de

R a g has raised £11,290 so

G e n n e s o f Paris for his w o r k o n

charities,

£8,290

Deputy

liquid

Monopoly

w i l l go to

approached

by

Afro-Caribbean

has

been

members

of

the

Society w h o

have

asked h i m to lift the two year o l d

crystals.

Chemistry

The

was

won

prize by

for

Richard

E r n s t o f S w i t z e r l a n d for his w o r k on Nuclear Magnetic

Resonance.

ban.

farthis=

year. £200 w i l l go to the elected rag

the U n i o n . Jonathan Griffiths, I C U President,

Vocation Testing

raised

from

MENCAP,

from

usi ng

w i l l go to A c t i o n A i d .

qualification than A - l e v e l s .

About

270

students

were

'attracted

attention

from

too narrow an education and they w o u l d prefer a vocationally

E l l i s . H e said that this 'far exceeded

test.

police.'

Mr

Griffiths suggested that the Society

Oxford Uni haul into 20th C

and

added that the next rag event

was

choice about whether to use animals

the Great Sightseeing Challenge this

during practical sessions, the C V C P

After

Saturday.

have

calls to g i v e

decreed

departments

areas in order to show g o o d intent

treat the issue.

to the B a r

committee to lift the b a n .

subAs

Professor R i c h a r d South w o o d , one

it

time professor at I C and now V i c e

stands, the ban extends to all college

C h a n c e l l o r o f O x f o r d U n i v e r s i t y , is

rooms.

re-vamping

their

old

system to prepare

collegiate

it for

a

E. German Teaching

raise m o r e than £300 m i l l i o n to try

Eastern

and

lecturers to i m p r o v e the quality o f

compete

College

implementing

is

Professor

to

its

start Equal

line with harassment

period,

C a r o l i n e F o x , D i rector o f Personnel

make

an

offence

regulations

staff

attempt

particularly at the b e g i n n i n g o f the

also being Rob

for staff

reduce

arranged. Manpower

Planning Manager,

told F e l i x that

'we want to show we care about the

year.

Thefts Round-Up

had no information about how the programme was being implemented

A motor-cycle was stolen this week

but that he expected feedback

by

f r o m the b i c y c l e rack by the C i v i l

November.

He on

declined

the

to

Engineering building. Security have

he

said that they are b e g i n n i n g to get

ongoing

v e r y c o n c e r n e d that people are not

cost

explained that it was

an

as

exercise.

A u g u s t . C h r i s R i l e y f r o m I C and

the

German in

Bonn,

occured

departmental

Disturbance

from

an

money

office

in

was

taken

Mechanical

E n g i n e e r i n g . T h e box had been left

T h e Police were called to the U n i o n

in

B a r o n W e d n e s d a y night after

a

unattended office. T e r r y B r i l e y o f

an

unlocked

drawer

in

an

serious

a

the security office told F e l i x that

second year C h e m i c a l E n g i n e e r i n g

people should 'not leave anything

student entered and attempted to

unattended e v e n for a short p e r i o d

assault students and

of time.'

disturbance

in

which

staff. Steve

A n attempt was made to steal a

Farrant, I C U H o n Sec, who in turn

brand new F o r d Sierra f r o m the car

student

threatened

threatened

to ban

him from

the

park

during

U n i o n B u i l d i n g . T h e student started

Tuesday.

r a n d o m l y attacking people

bonnet

working thief

the A t l a s

mountains

M o r o c c o by b i c y c l e .

THIRD W O R L D DEBT CRISIS October

12.00-2.00pm JCR

fuses

but was

were

therefore unsuccessful.

They

referred

the

the

on

No

come along to our stall and sign a petition to reduce the debt. ALSO:

Thursday 24th October 12.45-1.45pm a talk from the W o r l d Development Movement

the

' m a d e a bit o f a b o d g e ' and

called.

change

hours opened

bar, at w h i c h point college security

in the

to

The

arrest

disturbance to the B a r M a n a g e r who

has been made in c o n n e c t i o n with

then called the P o l i c e .

this incident.

last

two other students made an attempt to cross

taking care o f their property. A cash box c o n t a i n i n g £150 o f

The

expedition

T u e s d a y 22

people we e m p l o y ' . H e said that he

comment

European interested

Exchange

which

o n the

assaults

are

Letham,

travel offices

the

contact

Germany.

vacancies

training p r o g r a m m e

should

student

Those

within

Community.

themselves can now be d i s c i p l i n e d

c o l l e g e ' s p o l i c y o n advertising j o b procedure. A monitoring group and

w h i c h promotes

Academic

to

A poster exhibition has been put up

travel

the

for abuse o f other m e m b e r s o f the

interviewing

is

in

U n i v e r s i t y . H e said that it was an

and

100

in the S T A

has

A d m i n i s t r a t i v e services,

requires

Sherfield w a l k w a y w h i c h c o v e r s a

published a d o c u m e n t stating the

and

to

scheme'

about

students,

individual

must d e c i d e h o w

sexual

students

of

a

being organised under the ' E r a s m u s

is

U n i v e r s i t y . In order to c o m e into

18

discussion

to

Germany

their education. T h e exchange

Southwood

harassment

Opportunities Programme. After an month

American

U n i v e r s i t i e s like H a r v a r d .

attempting Imperial

with

that

students

Expedition Exhibition

more

market based system. H e hopes to

Equal Opportunities

based

anything anyone h a d before'

held some events in n o n - l i c e n s e d before appealing

They

produce

licensed

considerable

the

say that traditional exams

the R a g C h a i r m a n , M a r c ' P e n g u i n '

areas o f the U n i o n as the society's events

have

announced that they want a broader

i n v o l v e d in M o n o p o l y a c c o r d i n g to society

and P r i n c i p a l s , the C V C P ,

and £2,800 raised by tiddlywinking

stopped

T h e B a r sub-committee the

T h e Committee o f V i c e Chancellors

SEE W H A T ' S O N

in


http://felixonline.co.uk/archive/IC_1991/1991_0913_A