Page 1

Drugs

Crime Roundup

No Joke

A resuscitator and phials o f a m y l nitrate were stolen f r o m the college a m b u l a n c e this w e e k, w o r t h about

P o l i c e were called to the U n i o n B u i l d i n g last T u e s d a y after reports

£900. A l s o four pedal c y c l e s and

o f an attempted sale o f narcotics. A

parts o f a fifth were stolen, there

m a n in the L o u n g e B a r c l a i m e d that

was an attempt o n a motorcycle and

he

a n u m b e r o f wallets went m i s s i n g .

had

been

approached

by

a

student who offered h i m ecstasy o r speed.

He

notified

the

Disgruntled

Deputy

President, Jonathan G r i f f i t h s , and College

Security,

who

notified

A 'disgruntled e m p l o y e e ' o f the

police.

college threw a beer barrel through

T h e suspect was searched by the

window

the

of

a

car

last

p o l i c e in the U n i o n O f f i c e and was

Wednesday, and then followed it up

found to be c l e a n . H e later denied

by trashing the car o w n e r ' s office

that he had offered drugs and said

in S h e r f i e l d . T h e names o f those

that 'it was a j o k e ' . H e told F e l i x

involved

that the P o l i c e ' f o u n d nothing - I

College Security.

w a s n ' t perturbed

about

he

was

being that

offered

drugs

he

bei ng

was

o f coats and a valuable watch were stolen

Z o e H e l l i n g e r , U n i o n President, President

have

Griffiths, said

by

F i f t y pounds in c a s h , a n u m b e r

for the rest o f the e v e n i n g .

Jonathan

withheld

Wing Chun

harassed by the alleged d r u g seller

and

been

it i n the

slightest'. T h e student who believed complained

have

that

if

from

the

Union

Building

c h a n g i n g r o o m s whilst W i n g C h u n

Deputy

were

any

practising

next

door

last

Wednesday.

further drug incident is reported the p o l i c e w i l l be called i m m e d i a t e l y . Additionally,

i f any

Processed

student is

approached by a d r u g pusher, they should not be afraid to contact those in charge. T e r r y B r i l e y , I C security officer, told F e l i x that the sale o f drugs ' w i l l not be tolerated'.

Marc Ellis, aka Penguin, Rag Chairman, enjoying a quick dip after tiddlywinking down Oxford Street, See page 15 for further details.

Paper Prize Twenty

Resources E n g i n e e r i n g department

submitted

received Society

of

from

Petroleum

the

1991

Engineers

Engineering

Building

at

an

estimated cost o f £1800.

Bar Brawl

T h r e e I C students f r o m the M i n e r a l prizes

A N a g a c o m p u t e r p r o c e s s o r was stolen f r o m R o o m 3 1 4 i n the C i v i l

V i o l e n c e broke out last Saturday

the other was p i n n e d up against a

night, 5 O c t o b e r ,

car and p u n c h e d i n the back.

in front o f the

papers

were

contest.

Eight

H e l e n Roberts told F e l i x that as

papers came f r o m Imperial C o l l e g e .

she and three friends c a m e out o f

reports o n the event. Z o e H e l l i n g e r ,

the bar they were confronted

Union

The,

first

nine to

the

prize

winners

each

Southside bar.

Imperial

by

that

they

College had

not

President,

Security said received

any

told F e l i x that

Student Paper Contest in A b e r d e e n

received cheques for £400 and were

this September.

invited to present their papers at the

carried

1992 conference.

towards u s , ' said M s R o b e r t s . She

take

added that her friends wanted

no

Disciplinary Committee.

in

knew one o f the assailants, a d d i n g

X u D o n g J i n g was the w i n n e r o f the P h D class whilst Jonathan C o p p was the winner o f the undergraduate o r M S c class. A n d e r s

Witterman

Mr

Witterman

r e c e i v e d a c h e q u e for £100. Mr

Jing

is still at the

college

finishing his degree. M e s s r s C o p p

was the third prize w i n n e r in the

and

same class.

degrees i n September.

Witterman

received

their

approximately ten m e n . ' T h e y just on

be i ng

very

abusive

I trouble and w ished to leave. This

turned

into

violence

w h i c h one o f her friends

onc e the names o f the attackers are found she and M s Roberts intend to the

Ms

suffered

injuries to the face and stomach and

event

Roberts

to

the

claimed

College

that

she

T just want to find out who the other people

are.'


A n up-to-the-minute guide

guide

6.00pm

V

C o l l e g e . T h e deadline for entries

JCR.

for this c o l u m n is 1 2 . 3 0 p m

Afro-Carib Meeting

Roll

M o n d a y lunchtime p r i o r to

Concert Hall. Swimming

after this w i l l not be i n c l u d e d .

Sports Centre.

Yacht Club Meeting

12.30pm

Rag

Meeting

12.40pm

7.30pm

Prayers

l.OOpm

Southside G y m . See Islamic Society. 4.30pm

Kung Fu Union G y m .

1.30pm

Kung Fu

7.30pm

Sports Centre. 8.00pm

2.00pm

Lebanese Society

TUESDAY C.U.

STUDENTS—come

to l u n c h o n M o n d a y

Hall.

at 1 2 . 3 0 p m i n U n i o n L o u n g e for a 6.30pm

14th O c t o b e r

chat.

Swimming Pool.

• CAN THE FOLLOWING

Shaolin System Nam

collect the prizes f r o m the G u i l d s

Pai 8.30pm

Prayer Meeting

• MATURE

General Meeting. Union Dining Diving

JCR.

Small Ads ANNOUNCEMENTS

Union G y m .

Southside G y m .

Union Lounge. Friday

Meet Weeks Hall Basement Kitchen.

1.15pm

Top floor N W corner Union Building.

JCR.

Latin American

Physics 737.

9.15pm

I C C A G Soup Run l.OOpm

Wargames Micro Club Meeting

7.00pm

Water Polo 12.30pm

8.30pm

Southside Bar.

U D H . A l l welcome.

IC Shotokan Karate 12.30pm

8.00pm

Ballroom

JCR. Southside Disco

l.OOpm

Cycling Training Meet at Beit Arch.

6.30pm

' n ' Roll

Huxley 413. Conservative Soc

6.00pm

Beginners Rock

Southside Upper Lounge.

12.45pm

Bike Club Southside Lounge.

p u b l i c a t i o n . A n y c o p y supplied

FRIDAY

Intermediate

Southside G y m .

Intermediate Rock

to events i n a n d a r o u n d Imperial

Hang Gliding

11 October 1991

Felix 912

What's On

Chuan

7.00pm

O f f i c e for w i n n i n g at the C a s i n o o n

7.30pm

B i o 1; 2nd E l e a n o r K n i g h t , Physics

F r i d a y O c t 4: 1st G a v i n H a y m a n ,

Southside G y m .

Chaplain's Office

Basketball Club

people

Riding Club Meeting........12.30pm

Postponed until volleyball court

II; 3 r d A n d y M e e c h a m , P h y s i c s 1;

413 Maths.

Southside Upper Lounge.

reopened. Women's Team

4th C h r i s B i l l i n g e , M e c h E n g .

Christian Union Meeting....6.00pm

ICU

308 Computing.

Elec Eng 403B.

C.U.

Prayer Meeting

Swimming

5.00pm

6.30pm

Christian Outreach.... 12.30pm

to sign up for first trip. £24 for

THURSDAY

Club training.

everything.

Fencing Training

Shaolin System

AudioSoc

Fencing Club Training

Nam

Pai Chuan

6.40pm

7.30pm 7.30pm

Cathsoc Mass

Sports Centre. Southside Disco

8.30pm

12.30pm 12.30pm

SATURDAY Kung Fu Club

4.30pm

W u Shu Kwan in Southside G y m . IC Shotokan Karate

10.00pm

l.OOpm

Housing Officer

SUNDAY

Fencing Training

5.30pm

3rd

Sunday Service

10.30am

Clubs Committee Room.

11.00am

College Courts. Players of any

Improvers JCR.

members

Canoe Club

welcome.

Catholic Chaplaincy Mass.lLOOam 53 Cromwell Road. l.OOpm

Kung Fu Club

4.30pm

W u Shu Kwan in the Union G y m . Catholic Mass

6.00pm

53 Cromwell Road.

6.15pm

wanted

C l o s e to

m i n s f r o m college. P h o n e 0 7 1 - 3 7 3 5869.

1.30pm

PERSONAL • W A D E — 2 n d Y e a r Physics. ' M y

communications industry' by David

G o d it's huge!!'.

Thomas, Recruitment Manager of Fencing Training Gliding Club Meeting

Southside Upper Lounge.

Keep Fit

1.30pm

Careers

l.OOpm

Information

5.30pm

• The

Imperial

College

Careers

A d v i s o r y S e r v i c e w i l l have a stall

Southside G y m 5.30pm

Midweek Service

at the C a r e e r s F a i r o n 15 a n d 16

Chaplains Office (10 Prince's

O c t o b e r . A l l are w e l c o m e to call i n

Mech Eng 220. Members £1

Gardens).

for a chat with a careers

(membership £2.50—includes first

New Beginners

film). Note: ICSF library is open

JCR.

lunchtimes.

Improvers

7.00pm

FilmSoc 'Flash Gordon'

7.00pm 7.30pm

Grease Rehearsals

There

Ballroom....6.00pm

is o n e careers

adviser. talk this

c o m i n g week i n L T 2 1 3 at 1.30 Ballroom

7.00pm

2.20, Thursday

17 O c t o b e r ' T h e

Communications Industry by D a v i d

JCR. Nightline Meeting

JCR. 12.30pm

girl

£46pw.

L T 213 Huxley. ' T h e

Aero 266.

6.30pm

flatshare.

Room. Speaker Meeting.

Beit Quad store or 8.30pm in Judo

for

E a r l ' s C o u r t tube a n d shops. 15

General.

Ballroom Bronze Medal

MONDAY RockSoc Meeting

6.00pm

Ballroom

Union G y m .

UDH.

12.30pm

British Telecom.

Union Dining Hall.

ability. Annual membership £6. New

Wargames

6.00pm

Wine Tasting Soc

Anteroom Sherfield Building. Tennis Team Practise

J.30pm

'Street S t a m p e r ' b y ' S p e c i a l i s e d ' ,

ACCOMMODATION

12.45pm

World First

Careers Talk

Southside G y m .

4 1 3 Imperial

contact Stef o n x3515. £15 reward.

Union Building, Green Committee

Amenesty International

8414, R o o m

• NON—SMOKING

l.OOpm

5.30pm

Ext

12.30pm

Postgrad Lunch

Beginners Training.

Keep Fit

West London Chaplaincy

12.30pm

& Cheese

Gardens).

Mech Eng.

i n the

interested

B r i t i s h Paper A i r c r a f t A s s o c i a t i o n

• S T O L E N White Mountain Bike,

Pro-Life Wine

Chaplains Office (10 Princes

Southside Lounge.

Office.

• ANYONE

C o l l e g e Dept. C i v E n g , S W 7 2 B U .

Southside Upper Lounge.

housing probs—come along. PhotoSoc

Guilds

please contact A n d r e w C h i p l i n g o n

Top floor Union Building. A n y

Radio Modellers

Southside G y m .

12.30pm

Clubs Committee Room.

Southside Lounge. NUS

11.30am

12.30pm

Meeting

Boat Prty o n

T h u r s d a y 31st O c t o b e r at £5 f r o m

Southside Upper Lounge. YHA

Mech Eng 702. Followed by lunch. Sailing Club

Southside Bar.

12.30pm

Southside Lounge.

Guilds Hallowe'en

Intermediate & advanced coaching. Balloon Club Meeting

S.C.R. Radio Modellers

Southside G y m . Water Polo

12.30pm

T O a l l those w h o

• T I C K E T S A V A I L A B L E for the

12.30pm

SplotSoc

• THANKS

helped at the F u n k y C h i c k e n Party.

Union G y m . W u Shu Kwan.

Southside Upper Lounge. Last time

Sports Centre.

7.30pm

Kung Fu Club

7.30pm

Room 3A, U L U Building, Malet St,

T h o m a s , Recruitment M a n a g e r o f British T e l e c o m .

Southside Upper Lounge.

Room 308, Huxley Building

W C 1 . Ring 071-436 5561 (6pm to

Mature Students Lunch.... 12.30pm

(terminal room A ) .

8am) for more details of introductory

Recruitment P r o g r a m m e for details

Union Lounge.

Yoga

meeting.

of

Basketball Club

5.30pm

8.00pm

FilmSoc Film

Southside G y m .

7.30pm

Postponed until volleyball court

Mech Eng 220. 'Return of the Pink

reopened. Men's Team.

Panther' in cinemascope.

Keep Fit Southside G y m .

5.30pm

WEDNESDAY Keep Fit

12.30pm

IC Shotokan Karate Southside G y m .

REMINDER: Employer

Presentations

for

finalists. WARNING: are

7.30pm

See the Graduate

expected

Fewer

vacancies

i n 1992 i n many

sectors o f the e c o n o m y . A D V I C E : A p p l y early.


11 October 1991

Union

Felix 912

T h e following is a list o f registration

E971 K R Y

F215

numbers

FKG

189V

S W A 320Y

o f vehicles w h i c h

have

It w i l l be m u c h cheaper and better

NBL

for both the e n v i r o n m e n t and y o u .

A260 V O V

D991 A L R

Although

permits. C a n the owners o f these

E 9 9 5 D P F and

F168 P Y F

those allocated d i d deserve permits

vehicles please collect them f r o m

H439 H G M

the U n i o n O f f i c e ; y o u should bring

Please supply a m e d i c a l certificate

been

your

allocated

Union

Document

card,

(or

ownership),

union

Registration

other

medical

parking

proof

of

certificate

a

only

joint

a larger limited

number number

than were

available so they were allocated to

to collect a permit for the following

those w h o w o u l d suffer most f r o m

vehicles:

being unable to d r i v e i n . I a m not

HYB

w i l l to enter into a n y discussion

253T

where indicated and £5 as a deposit:

B25 D E P

regarding these allocations as it is

LYK

152K

719W

F668 O N M

a waste o f both m y time and y o u r s .

YRU

KPD

OKL

659Y

A159

YMO

D372 C L K

OCD

912W

G238 L G C

A285 J W Y

EUR

1850

E377 C T F

P U V 747Y

XGC

D58 C P M

A58

657W

H339 Y Y L

F695 L B W

ADT

119W

Parking Permits

UMJ

166R

HFT

204W

C372 F T H

EVT

708Y

B697

WFC

F846 R L H

date w r o n g in last w e e k ' s article. If

F44 K L U

WPL

823Y

anyone has any complaints

9303 V B 92

MYY

698X

XHV

448T

this can they please see m e rather

WGW

B360

VYO

F747

RMD

than hassling any other members o f

D848 N U S

ELL

723S

F734 M G X

JGH

D777 J H V

BUR

F617

WEW

ELF

B255 J K R

G109

UUL

F698 P U L

A644 A J H

HGK

659Y 1 780T

26X

I apologise f o r getting the c l o s i n g

411Y

Union

F o l l o w i n g advice f r o m the licensing

D156 R W M

B96 E G O

DXP

97

F184 S B L

so

XHX

63IT

PYM

346Y

appeal.

A716 N N L

B759 W N K

females

w h o are w o r r i e d

D201 D L B

F581

walking

home

XAH

R U W 761Y

alarms are avialable from the U n i o n

now until midnight

C741 T L E

O f f i c e . T h o s e w h o applied and are

Friday October 25th—Extension now until l a m

A974 T U U

HBU

A l l permits have now been allocted

officer three o f our B a r E x t e n s i o n s

is n o opportunity for

have had to be revised. T h e s e are:

at night,

about scream

F330 R Y U

in

N U W 132Y

college

C252

space... sell your car and buy a bike!

EUR

cycling

for

D787 E Y O A915 W W J

easy

F o r information,

SGH

690V

were

distance

from

not a l l o c a t e d

Friday October 11th—Extension Friday October 18th—Extension

a

Violence A w a r e n e s s

in the U K

Sessions

ANNUAL DISCO Saturday Oct 19th 7.30pm to 1.00am

sees

how late she can submit

stuff

now until midnight

O l d Royalists Assocition

B a r • Buffet * at

Union President,

H D E 946X

650T

Hellinger,

staff.

A465 J K N

there

Zoe

about

Tuesday 15th O c t and Thursday 17th O c t 7.00pm

Raffle

Available to all students. N o previous experience required.

Sherfield Building, Imperial College, Exhibition Road, SW7

Cost £3.00 (subsidised)

Tickets £12

Sign up in Union

Please ring: Jo Navin on 081-567 2352 H A Karunasekera on 081-853 3207

Office by Monday 14th October, 5.30pm

— 3—

to the Union page

without

causing

death or

serious

injury to

the Felix

Editor.


11 October 1991

Felix 912

Opinion

The world is so full of 'isms'—

suffused with fag-smoke, innuendo,

I was w a s h i n g m y career life away

racism,

we

r a c i s m and ignorance. M o s t o f m y

with

really need to take o n board a new

data centre colleagues were thinly

experience that another c o m p a n y

one? I'd say yes because there is a

disguised spivs who expressed open

w o u l d find useful (maybe that was

prejudice w h i c h has affected me and

hostility to the ' b l o o d y

a deliberate corporate p o l i c y ! ) .

w h i c h might affect y o u also. It is

' b l o o d y foreigners' and o f course

Graduateism.

the monstrous r e g i m e n o f w o m e n .

sexism,

ageism.

Do

graduates',

'Being a and a

companies

calibre

graduates

having

any

personal

female Indian

and of origin

was a very disconcerting experience.'

existed).

I suspect it has something to do with m y not shutting up and putting up with r a c i s m (as m y manager has often ' a d v i s e d ' me to do! O h — h o w I w i s h I had taped some o f those

female a n d , i nc i de nta l l y, o f Indian

conversations!!).

for

high

without

really

of

their

aspirations

and

origin—it

was

certainly

a

I c a n ' t c o m p l a i n too m u c h since

very

disconcerting experience to say the

I

least.

redundancy payment. B u t it is not

or

Job satisfaction? In m y first four

we—delicate

months, I had to tab spaces and put

came

enough

away to

with

quench

the

carriage returns into several v e r y

at

large documents. M y productivity

afterwards has certainly

what

was

the b l o w .

see

as

silver-spoon

upstarts.

measured

carriage

So now

let the m u c k - c h u c k i n g

tabs

by

how

many

returns/spell checks and

I

made

per

day!

(Nobody

Imperial

almost

i m m e d i a t e ly

S o m y a d v i c e to m y fellow students

is, e v e n

in these

economic

o f m y stay at the bank (another one

before y o u leap o r y o u m a y cause permanent damage to y o u r career.

looked

conditions,

IC

harsh

believes me, but it's true!). T h e rest

bank—which

do

look

three

year) was equally m i n d n u m b i n g .

graduates to be taken o n in their

W h e n I complained about the trivial

computing

sounded

nature o f the w o r k , I was told that

year, several o f the colleagues

megabucks—

I "was t r y i n g to r u n before I c o u l d

C i t i b a n k w h o I d i d like and respect have also left most by their o w n

good.

great.

I

was

I

one

of

only

area—which

was

paid

Can

you

imagine

how

P . S . S i n c e I left in M a r c h o f this at

w h i c h felt brilliant. B u t then I was

walk.

dumped into a technical back-water,

frustrated I felt after a first class

a c c o r d , with quite a few returning

shaken by fears o f redundancy and

honours degree f r o m Imperial and

to university studies!

subjected to a w o r k i n g environent

an M S c in c o m p u t i n g ? I felt as i f

U r m i Basu-Conlin, Materials

FRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEE

defence console. H e k n e w he had

in iridescent spar kl i ng lights that

OOOOOOOOOSCCCCCCSCR-

only

d a n c e d and shone.

UUUUUUUNNNNNCHHHH!!!

o n b o a r d systems w o u l d shed their

v o l u m e s . T h e b o m b had taken out

hatreds, violent urges and psychotic

his weapons system. Ignoring the

seconds

now

before

the

soothing voi ce s and w o r d s o n the speakers and his screens he flew on.

discussing

the

long

term

swung his fighter ship a r o u n d for

value o f conflict. Stress p o w e r e d the engines as far as they w o u l d go

on

the

leptons.

' D o n ' t let this aggression obscuring

higher

constrictor

about

thought

your

true

confess

and

become

a

better

person.' Stress screamed in t r i u m p h as his craft charged towards the target ship on collision course.

the

fester

inside, recognise it for what it is, feelings. D o n ' t be afraid to c r y , to

Coping with Stress Tightening

cursed

things

another

attack

Stress

tendencies and b e c o m e v i l e useless

a blackness

of a new story.

softened

merchant

relieving b o m b o n his port side and

The first chapter

of

begin. I was offered a j o b by a large

Stress d o d g e d the herbal stress

Action

heat

resentment although starting a P h D

flowers—can be made to w o r k with

!!!

1.

substantial

people who are actively resentful o f they

the

it to say that ask

needs,

in the end I got

'golden handshake' (in other words

H e n c e m e , be i ng a graduate and a

the

knowledge

capabilities,

Anyway,

work

sordid

spared

details, but suffice many

graduate

be

meaningful

m y j o b no l o n g e r

Graduateism You'll

no

He

was

not

and shot f o r w a r d to do his bit for

afraid

the cause that was everything in his

w o u l d g o straight to heaven i f h e ' d

gunned the plasma engines sending

life. H e knew the e n e m y . H e knew

died fighting. T h e rest o f eternity

his

the truth. H e k n e w what to d o .

w i n n i n g was not something to be

earth

attack

his ship

head

he

screaming

towards the alien craft. H e had no

As

intelligence

expanding

thoughts o f death, i n fact he had

torpedoes

v e r y few thoughts at all due to the

destroyed the first effects

implanted n a r r o w m i n d c o n t r o l l e r

enemy

lodged

marching

i n his c e r e b r u m .

He

had

were

strike

dodged

took

songs

and o f the

effect.

on

the

The ship's

to die.

He

knew

that

afraid of. ' C o l l i s i o n in ten s e c o n d s . ' Eagerness. ' C o l l i s i o n i n eight s e c o n d s . ' S w e l l i n g lepton ship.

blessed its presence several times

speakers c r a c k l e d and cut out a n d

' C o l l i s i o n i n six s e c o n d s . '

already in this space fight for saving

Stress

Blurring of vision.

h i m f r o m the aliens' worst, i n fact

replacement b o m b a r d e d his ears.

only weapon: His

free thought.

onboard

defence

swore

'YOU'VE system

beeped agressively w a r n i n g h i m o f

LOVING

hard

as

LOST

their

' C o l l i s i o n i n five s e c o n d s . '

THAT

FEELING!

WOHOH

THAT LOVING FEELING!' A v o i d i n g the last o f the peaceful

thought b o m b s , feared throughout

intention mines Stress l o c k e d the

earth's space fleet for its effects o f

enemy ship in his sights.

thoughts,

relaxation

and

'NOW

prejudice-free views. H e swung his

GONE!'

ship to a v o i d it and at that instance he was hit.

GONE,

' C o l l i s i o n in four

seconds.'

' C o l l i s i o n i n three s e c o n d s . ' B r i g h t e n i n g light. ' C o l l i s i o n in two

GONE,

seconds.'

Flash. Blackness. ' C o l l i s i o n in one s e c o n d . '

E y e s ablaze he stabbed the

fire

T i m e warp.

button.

AN

AGGRESSION

RELIEVING STRUCK

IT'S

F e e l i n g o f distortion. Space is g l o w i n g .

the approach o f a cluster o f rational

clear

he

US!!!

BOMB Screamed

HAS the

From rainbow

out of

of

his

colours

gunports

a

emerged,

showering the space around his ship

Could the writer of this article please make contact with the F E L I X Editor on ext 3515.


11 October 1991

M

Felix 912

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Felix 912

Music

11 October 1991

T h e most elegant stiletto p i e r c i n g

Cranes - Wings of Joy

and,

with

incalculable

care

and

sensitivity, scraping up and d o w n the length o f A l i s o n ' s

vertebrae;

Pele -Raid The Palace

m i n e too. I ' m d y i n g here, s l o w l y , hopelessly, d e l i c i o u s l y , d y i n g . M y G o d . M e . I d o n ' t deserve to d i e l i k e this. W h e r e ' s M y Hate N o w I N e e d It?. M y whole passage thro' these sonic night-scapes is fraught with the chill o f a p r i m a l anguish, and the harsh, angular shadows o f a b l i n d fury. Christ knows

how

I c o u l d be

so

arrogant as to believe that I c o u l d adequately Yeah.

translate this for y o u .

With

such

as

Summer,

Tomorrow's

Hopes

High,

Are

Leaves

subversive attack o n our wonderful

Tears,

r o y a l f a m i l y . If I slag this I c a n

I discover

My

nemesis h i d d e n b e h i n d M y heart's

forget

bei ng L a d y

L i s e , c a n ' t I?

R i g h t then, this is a b l o o d y terrible

nemesis is the S n o w

r e c o r d . O n the other ha nd , it might

Queen. Y o u remember Her, don't

be the first shot i n a c a m p a i g n to

Y o u ? She s u m m o n e d the ghost o f

close the C a m d e n Palace

breathing and b l e w snowflakes

on

obscene pigs. In that case, I'd like

fragile,

to point out that they d o say ' m a k e

desire. M y

Y e s . I have dreaded the prospect o f

I think this might be some k i n d o f

of

r e v i e w i n g this. L o s t sleep o v e r it.

Kay's

D a m n near cut o f f the end o f m y

filigree

heart.

Well,

finger because o f it. T h e brute truth

c o l l i d i n g with m i n e , and they're no

about Wings of Joy is it's c o l o s s a l , '

longer m e l t i n g . . .

structures

such are

currently

some

noise',

which

due to

should

be

reserved for people as crass as M C H a m m e r , and there's a strange kind

I'm

past

of

Basically, if Y o u ' r e

still

geeeetar in there as w e l l . It reminds

Country

and

Western

style

yet at the same t i m e , gentle and

Who

understated beauty. T h i s is why I

caring.

should hate t h e m . I ' m supposed to

reading this, i f y o u h a v e n ' t t h r o w n

m e o f B o b G e l d o f ' s Vegetarians

articulate suitably elegant

prose,

it d o w n and gone out and bought

Love, The Housemartins,

t h e m , I s h o u l d l o o k for any reason

and it's supposed to be (reasonably)

this f u c k i n g r e c o r d , then y o u are

Flowers,

to criticise (never one to b o w

tangible. M a k i n g Cranes tangible is

first class twat. T h i s is not a random

really. B a n g goes m y k n i g h t h o o d .

o f the state o f grace thrust u p o n to

gives

a damn,

know).

selling them short, and w h y should

insult. I have c o n c l u d e d this f r o m

interviewed

they stoop to earthbound flesh when

the obvious lack o f value Y o u place

A l i s o n S h a w and found H e r to be

they're

on

all things to this particular m a n , M y

infinity?...!

peer

pressure,

However,

you

having

objectivity

is

looking

decidedly

punch-drunk. Listening to Wings Joy,

of

it's easy to c o n c l u d e that this

busy

a

trail

to

Life.

If

you

have

mesh

Lise Yates

any

of

the office and I w i l l play

Adoration

heat-damaged

to y o u . It's the last song. It is also

enveloping,

extraordinary, sullen and gorgeous,

p o o r , d e l u d e d w a n k e r was always

with A l i s o n h o l d i n g both c a n and

a slight l e g i o n o f b l u r r i n g , water-

going to be devastated. B l o o d y well

b l o w - t o r c h . Starblood.

f l o o r e d , i n fact.

M e air, for f u c k ' s sake.

Eskimos & Egypt

Carter U S M

spray-paint

stuff like that. Q u i t e g o o d

disagreement w i t h this, c o m e into' is fine, a d e l i r i o u s l y -

Watersong layered

etching

Of

Hothouse

textures

Jesus. G i v e Starblood.

washed

features

and

G.N.E. -I Want You

misshapen

definitions. O h , g i v e M e W i n g s o f J o y that I m a y b r i n g it to all things. Yes.

My

loathing

Knows

no

bounds. T h e A l b u m o f the Y e a r .

-Don't You Do It

-After the

David.

Watershed

W h a t is Great N o r t h e r n E l e c t r i c s ? It's W r e t c h e d l y enough, Carter again

turned

in

quite

a

have

decent

r e c o r d . T h e s e people are b e c o m i n g

the railway

line f r o m

Kings

C r o s s to L e e d s , Y o r k and the N o r t h East,

and

it

goes

through

K ne b w o r t h . T h i s is a perfectly good

naggingly difficult to deal w i t h ; i f

reason to give it a right slagging.

W h e n I got m y rather g r u b b y mits

it

However

o n this one I thought 'great, a dance

ridiculous

was

all

Clash

stylisms

and

someone

(fresher)

did

'John

float the suggestion that I should

record that means something, not all

P l a y e r S p e c i a l n u m b e r 666') they

possibly listen to the r e c o r d before

this ' m o v e y o u b o d y , b o d y ' , shit',

would

what an a m a z i n g and

regrettable

disappointment.

be

punning

(read

easily dispensed

W h a t buggers up m y attempt to

try anything once, I suppose.

like Carter.

m a k e a w h i p p i n g boy out o f Carter

starts with something that might possibly be a train sample. Stop the

It is for this reason I

formally apologise to G i n n y o f ' B a d

is, in this case, a bare

M o o n ' . I a m the last p e r s o n

opening

rockers

s h o u l d represent F e l i x at a press

sensitivity, a line like

h o m o p h o b i c , macho bullshiters that

conference for Carter,

Ruby Tuesday; come home,

in

their

true

Sweet light,

r e v i e w i n g it. H o w p e c u l i a r . S t i l l ,

I make no bones about this; I do not

C h i l d o f M i n e showed these crass

Their rip-off of G ' n ' R ' s

with.

who

but at the

exuding

keyboard

pathos

and

'Goodbye,

It

record, I want to get off. S o m e b o d y stop it. N e v e r m i n d , it's gone now.

you

I'll listen to it a l l , i f y o u ' r e g o i n g to be like that. Sounds a bit indie,

have about as m u c h talent as the

time, there was no-one else. S o r r y .

silly c o w ' , and J i m b o b ' s i d i o m a t i c

flies o n m y dogs back. T h i s w i l l be

Oh,

angst h o w l i n g the above o v e r the

a bit Paris Angels,

lost amongst the m y r i a d o f S h a r o n

bands at R e a d i n g this year, it is not

fade.

k i n d o f fruit o n the front

and

enough to be a m i n o r i m p r o v e m e n t

social tales, indicting, a w k w a rd and

w h i c h is always a g o o d sign. (Does

c o u n t r y . It m a y b r i n g them chart

o n shit. S o they r e c k o n

Andrew

j a r r i n g . Y e a h , o n the strength o f

B r y a n A d a m s have fruit o n his front

success but w o u l d y o u wont to be

E l d r i t c h thinks t h e y ' r e the second

this, I might actually g r o w to like

c ove r ?

the one to k n o c k B r i a n A d a m s off

best

them. N o w ,

perfectly bearable, not particularly

Tracy

discos

around

n u m b e r one? I thought not Pebbles

the

and while there were w o r s e

band

around?

Yeah,

sure.

W a y n e H u s s e y believed H i m , as well.

It's

one o f those

peculiar,

for f u c k ' s sake, give

m e m y Steely D a n tape b a c k . Youthoria.

6 —

See

what

and there's some

I

cover,

mean?)

offensive to the ears or eyes. Lise Yates

So,


Felix 912

11 October 1991

Absolution - Various

Music

one o f the greatest pop songs o f the eighties, Echo and the

steaming tune f r o m a

The Cutter-a

band w h o never dropped their ' H ' s or their ' T ' s a n d were still one o f the coolest ever. T h i s is f o l l o w e d is taken by his fans, though always

found

humility

I've

his

shoe-staring

and effete

vulnerability

trite and laborious. Never

Enough

is great fun though, the most fun t h e y ' v e been since Love

indeed appropriate

that m y

frantic

Siouxsie's

pastiche, Spellbound. Shortly

after,

Great stuff.

our

attention

Stardust, to consider Bauhaus. few

youth... T h e ineffably silly

Mission

produced by M u r p h y , A s h and C o . ,

bags

or as I prefer, ' D u r a n D u r a n f r o m

I'd love to rave about the whole gig

o f swagger and a lyric Robert Plant

H e l l ' . I ' m g l ad t h e y ' r e not a r o u n d

as perhaps anyone w o u l d w h o sees

anymore - their outdated, pompous

one o f their favourite bands.

histrionics

bands were excellent, the sound was

about the best t h e y ' l l ever give us.

the

D i e laughing.

' a r t y ' posturing are

Killing Joke's ( O h G o d , N O ! ) glorious Love like Blood. O k , so

w e l l , Bela

Murphy's.

Once

past

suspiciously

'goff

sleeve,

it

becomes apparent that this is, in

this is just

entertaining

would've

of

k i l l e d for,

really

the

heart

This

homage to H i s D a v i d n e s s is one o f

current world view is as black as the the

is

dragged by the stupidly O T T Ziggy

journey

to

Hitchcock

and

pieces

embarrassingly as dead

as,

A f t e r this the

Lugosi.

Mary Chain's brilliant Some Candy is, o d d l y e n o u g h , like a

this was as c o m m e r c i a l as sex back

Talking

feature

in ' 8 5 , the last days, but it still

breath o f fresh air.

Pil's Rise, Joy Division's Atmosphere o r Sisters of Mercy's

remains a f i n e l y - crafted testament

A n d onto A. A.E..

O r rather, not.

A better Stranglers

song w o u l d n ' t

'goff',

fact,

though

any

c o m p i l a t i o n that does not

Body

Electric

suffers

such

somewhat

f r o m tunnel v i s i o n . So,

with

remove

the

Never Enough

to s p o o k - p o p . The Wonderstuff. barrel remind

blinkers sleeve.

removed, The

I

Cure's

opens; it is amusing

to witness how seriously young B o b

-Town and Country Club. Kentish T o w n ,

back in ' 8 4 . O h , the lost days o f follow this with Deliverance; 'Tis

way

Cats

by

Dinosaur JR

Bunnymen's

of

laughs. me

They

of

A

always

undercover

policemen secreting themselves into

have

a drugs r i n g . D o n ' t let m e

down

the Neffs

always

so

Creatures,

gently'

was

W O R K M A N L I K E . It's face-off is

Mode

never been as g o o d

as

on

A s for the rest,

the Silence.

are great fun, as are the

the

the

do,

draw

was

however,

feel

obliged to slag off the vast numbers o f stage d i v e r s . W h a t used to be an

and

Damned

brave

with

astounding

a

finesse

has

now

that

was

become

de

rigeur- it seems no g i g experience is complete without stumbling onto the stage a n d falling o f f again.

No

m o r e a buzz but merely a ritual; it's just not g o o d To

but I ' m getting tired o f

N.M.A.,

and I

art f o r m indulged in by the few and

go amiss either, but Depeche Enjoy

excellent, excellent.

The

be

enough...

honest,

I

can't

even

w r i t i n g this. S a d l y , the appearance

remember the first band's name, let

of

alone what they sounded l i k e , but

the

Psychedelic

does

Furs

nothing to dispel the (con)fusion o f

the listed support b a n d — T h e

feverish, incisive pop, and bloated

Radieys—were

stadium

of

r o c k . Alice's

or

House

the

Boo

good. T h e i r version

now-somewhat-cliche'd

President Gas would've been better.

fuzzy indie guitar dance m u s i c (so

S o m e o f these were/still are great

excellently played b y My

bands,

Valentine

but this representation o f

post-punk r oc k m u s i c seems often

to

contradict

too

it's

own

and,

more

Bloody

obviously;

Ride) was g o o d , though somewhat m o n o t o n o u s . T h e y w e r e lost i n an

principles. A n y self-respecting goth

audience who failed to offer

(I k n o w that verges o n the

self-

more

contradictory)

own

tossing moptops. M a y b e they were

will

already

support

most o f these, so w h o is this aimed

shot

at? the new kids o n the pop scene?

Greatness?...

liberated metalheads? free-to-rock yuppi es ?

Tell

you

what;

You

Post

Scriptum, Rose,

My

now

little

do

in the b a c k

Now.

Now

by

You

believe M e ?

any

head-

Impending

is the time to start

spouting a load o f w a n k about h o w fucking excellent Dinosaur

D e c i d e , 'cos I d r e a d to think.

American

than a few

were,

and it w o u l d p r o b a b l y be the truth, but finally the point o f the e v e n i n g became

apparent.

Despite

J's

legendary apathy, Dinosaur Jr. have

David.

p r o d u c e d four o f the most o r i g i n a l albums I've ever heard, and they played all the noise ones tonight. F r o m You 're Living to Green Mind,

All

Over

Me

it was all there, and

we lapped it up like a d o g at it's power-of-madness Odd.

We

seem to be getting an

Galen,

one-time

vocals. member

Nick of

his

psychotic howls in such a w ay that

literally

croons

the stage like some headless chicken

that's only because it follows

Shrubs,

of

falls short o f the m a r k , but

Hopes

awful lot o f stuff resembling d e m o Champions

o w n v o m i t . J M a s c i s dives a r o u n d

the

tapes

these days.

O f the songs themselves, only Big the

on a c i d that believes the o n l y route

extraordinary Civil Kong

Smasher-

to sexual gratification is v i a a guitar.

Tear

little-known m u s i c that W e are, it's

O n e is f or c ed to consider genius a

it w o u l d make Love

still odd. T h i s is not a gripe. I mean,

constituent o f dementia, and not the

Apart sound as twee as Any

Will

Us

E v e r y t h i n g about the spectacle was

Dream

over the top. E m b e l l i s h e d with that

WTjife

extra guitar freakout, almost to the

loosely-

point o f g l a m r o c k (but not quite),

disappeared. I sleep easy for the

hinged b u i l d - u p to a tumultuous

perhaps the o n l y c o m p l a i n t is that

first time in years n o w that y o u ' r e

bastard c h i l d o f the Birthday

the tunes are as catchy as shit o n a

beside

of

- a wash o f discordant k e y b o a r d

shoe; they rattle a r o u n d in y o u r

Club (I just

nasty, and must surely inaugurate

does nothing to dispel m y unease.

head forever

d i d n ' t want to say it). It's in that

h i m as the K i n g o f M e l a n c h o l i a and

Y e s , it is c r u e l to be k i n d to Y o u r

r o l l i n g a r o u n d o n the grass w o n ' t

vein

the most unmitigated F u c k - u p i n

nightmares. M o r e p a i n , please.

some are good, some are downright

other w ay r o u n d . H i s d e l i v e r y o f

Will

b l o o d y awful. O n l y one, this one,

the line " M y bad dreams have all

Snow

is f u c k i n g astonishing. Mecca rhythm

have the most lithe, frantic section

since...

r e m i n d e d o f early Gun of

groove

deranged, on which

are

I'm

bastardized layered

a

hideously edgy guitar and b l a z i n g

me"

is nothing

short

r e c o r d i n g history. G o d k n o w s w h y there still only m a k i n g d e m o s .

Do is

by a

comparison. staggering,

Superbus Augustus Dalek Case.

— 7—

Party

and any amount o f

get r i d o f ' e m . B u t , after a l l , that's the point.

Zanie


11 October 1991

Felix 912

Career's Fair

ICU Career's Fair 1991 On the Queen's Lawn,

next Tuesday and Wednesday. The

some c o m p a n i e s are o n l y c o m i n g

have any general questions as to

p l a n , there w i l l be a large marquee

employers are here not to interview

for one day. A full list o f companies

what to d o at the fair.

c o v e r i n g two thirds o f the Q u e e n ' s

y o u , but for y o u to interview them.

o n each day is listed b e l o w . M o s t

lawn:

They

of

By

Monday,

all things g o i n g

the venue

for

this

Imperial C o l l e g e U n i o n

to

year's

Career's

F a i r . O n T u e s d a y , at 9 . 3 0 a m , the

Software.. .and

will

not

others.

be

making

any

the

companies

will

have

The

fair

is not o n l y

open

to

students graduating this year. A n y

judgement u p o n y o u , but are here

brochures and application f o r m at

student,

for

career

there stands; these c a n be taken

interest or l o o k i n g for a S u m m e r vacation j o b , is very w e l c o m e . It is

you

to decide

which

whether

it be

just

for

y o u the best

w o u l d best suit y o u . O r m a y b e y o u

away and read at length afterwards.

opportunity for f i ndi ng y o u r s e l f a

have already made up y o u r m i n d as

A list o f deadlines for application

in y o u r interest to make the most o f

job

to the field o f w o r k y o u w i s h to go

forms

this opportunity especially given the

w i d e range o f e m p l o y e r s are again

into, but have yet to decide u p o n a

careers

attending this year, with companies

company.

Sherfield b u i l d i n g . T h e r e w i l l be a

time,

doors

open

giving

after y o u have graduated.

A

c a n be

obtained f r o m the

centre office,

room

310

current climate where for the first graduates

are

having

from backgrounds o f A c c o u n t a n c y ,

T h e fair is open o n both T u e s d a y

careers centre stand at the entrance

difficulties in g o i n g straight into a

E n g i n e e r i n g , Scientific R e s e a r c h ,

and W e d n e s d a y o f next week and

o f the marquee - see p l a n opposite.

career.

Oil,

is worth attending o n both days, as

S o m e o n e w i l l help y o u here i f y o u

Banking,

Computer

Jeremy Burnell, Careers Fair

Both Days

Both Days

Tuesday

Manager.

Wednesday A i r Products P L C

Albright & Wilson L t d

Ministry o f Defence - D E S / D S G

Bankers Trust C o m p a n y

Andersen Consulting

Mobil

B D O Binder H a m l y n

ASW

Arthur Andersen

Monsanto P L C

BOC

Barclays Bank

Holdings P L C

National G r i d P L C

C o o p e r s & L y b r a n d Deloitte

D a t a Sciences

British Petroleum

National Physical Laboratory

DTI

Engineering Research Centre

B P Research

Nestle

Esso

Exxon Chemical Ltd

B r i t i s h Steel

Nuclear Electric

Fisons P L C

PowerGen

British Telecom

Ove

HM

U n i t e d Biscuits ( U K )

Banque

Indosuez

C a d b u r y Schweppes

PLC

Chevron U K Ltd D a v y M c K e e (Stockton)

Ltd

Arup

Government

Police Service

Communications Centre

Price

Johnson Matthey Technology

Waterhouse

Proctor &

Gamble

Centre

'

Mars

D e r w e n t Publications L t d

Rolls Royce

D R A Aerospace Division

Rowntree Mackintosh

Recruitment and Assessment

D R A Maritime Division

Schlumberger

Technica Ltd

D u Pont ( U K )

SD-Scicon

T o u c h e Ross

Smithkline Beecham

Unilever P L C

Ernst &

Ltd

Young

Grant Thornton

T A S C - T e a c h i n g as a C a r e e r

K P M G Peat M a r w i c k M c L i n t o c k

Unit

L i l l y Industries

Tat e & L y l e P L C

Logica

WS

PLC Ltd

College Career's

Service

will have a stand both days

Atkins

COLLEGE CAREERS OFFICE SHERFIELD, ROOM 310, TELEPHONE: E X T . 3251

O p e n 10am - 5 p m

Monday - Friday — 8 —


Career's Fair

Felix 912

11 October 1991

Stand Layout Tuesday

15th

Coopers &

October

Monsanto PLC

Lybrand Deloitie

EXIT

Schlumberger

Albright & Wilson Ltd

Derwenl

Recruitment an

Publications Ltd

Assessment Services

EXIT

Ministry of DefenceDES/DSG

DRA Aerospace Division

DRA Maritime

Bankers Trust Company

National Physical Laboratory

Touche Ross

Division

Grant Thornton

Rowntree Macintosh

Nestle

WS Atkins

Janque Indosuez

BP

National Grid

BOC

Technica Ltd

Price Waterhouse

British Steel

PLC

BP Research

m X

o HM Government

Ou Pont (UK)

Communications

Ltd

Arthur Andersen

Police Service

Lilly Industries

Smithkline

Logica

Johnson

Proctor &

Beecham

2 § 2. S CD (A

Matthey

Gamble

Technology

Centre

»

Centre Mobil

BDO Binder

Cad bury

Hamlyn

Schweppes PLC

Davy McKee KPMG (Stockton 1 Ltd Peat Marwick McLintock-

Careers Centre Stand

Tate & Lyle PLC

Chevron UK Ltd Ove Arup

EXIT

MAIN ENTRANCE

TASC - Teaching as a Career Unit

M a i n Dining

Hall

Nuclear Electric

Andersen Consulting

Sherfield

Ante-Room

Wednesday 16th October Derwent Publications Ltd

EXIT

Schlumberger

Ministry of Defence-

EXIT

DRA Aerospace Division

DRA Maritime

Barclay's

Division

Bank

National Physica United Biscuits Laboratory UK Limited

National Grid

Powergen PLC

Data Sciences

Price Waterhouse

British Steel

PLC

DES/DSG

Albright & Wilson Ltd

Grant Thornton

Rowntree Macintosh

Nestle

WS Atkins

Janque Indosuez

BP

BP Research

ASW

Ou Pont (UK!

Arthur Andersen

Police Service

Lilly Industries

Smithkline

Logica

Proctor &

Engineering

Holdings

Ltd

Gamble

Research

0

o

X

z. s

1 Beecham

PLC

Mobil

Centre

Air Products

Cadbury

Davy McKee

PLC

Schweppes PLC

(Stockton) Ltd

KPMG Peat Marwick McLintock

Careers

Tate & Lyle

Chevron UK

Centre

PLC

Ltd

Stand Ove Arup

EXIT

TASC • Teaching as a Career Unit

M a i n Dining

Hall

MAIN ENTRANCE

Ante-Room

Nuclear Electric

Andersen Consulting

Sherfield


11 October 1991

Felix 912

Feature

The first Monday of term and after

A n d The

Family

Cat.

I thought

enthusiastic, awaiting acts o f r i b -

drawn

tickling

assembled mass h o w to be

cards

he

instructed

the

o n the M 4 0 but were slightly m o r e

unfortunately none o f w h i c h were

entertaining

o n sale here, t h e y ' r e signed to the

than be i ng

the

said

the a m a z i n g l y stressful registration

that they were better than Bob.

process e v e r y b o d y was in need o f

it, y o u were there. Y o u were there

T h e c o m p e r e had a nice line in

o n ' . T h i s is funny for 10 minutes

a nice relaxing evening. T h e

New

weren't y o u . N o ? T h e n y o u are one

understated laddish h u m o u r . Sadly

o n Paramount C i t y (where P a r k e r

Year's

but.

of

he b e l i e v e d that the o n l y c o m m o n

has appeared) but any longer and it

a good live band. 'Monsters A n d

factor

becomes tedious.

Angels',

Bob.

Party

was

anything

T h a t ' s a rather funny name

Bob

are far and away the best

saddest,

nay

the

saddest

pathetic person in this place. After that the e - V o l u t i o n club that

for a b a n d . Y e s . It's short for, err, Bob.

the

Sod

had

been

r u n n i n g upstairs

since

Five Days that

freshness.

in

'Yoof

culture

is

an

Feature

Felix 912

11 October 1991 'right

same r e c o r d label as The Cure.

h e d g e h o g . Step O f f . Voice of the Beehive,

now there's

T Say N o t h i n g ' , classic

B l o o d y g o o d , as y o u ' r e a s k i n g . If y o u missed this through queueing

u n d y i n g wish to talk about football.

C e r t a i n l y , the c o m p e r e was the

p o p songs all o f them. W h a t a c o u p

for a b u r g e r

H e ran through a list o f important

best thing there (unless A l a n Parker

to get them to play here. I saw them

generally

topics such as, T h e P o l i c e , m o r e

can find a new joke). E v e r y o n e else

the other week at C a m b r i d g e , and

really

football, drugs and y o u r G r a n d m a s

present

use

although the exchange o f the rapier-

of

the

word

'pop',

before

i n t r o d u c i n g us to the first act;

sharp

It was revealed that Sean L o c k was p e r f o r m i n g for the first time at

enjoyed

wit

themselves,

o f trained m i n d s

was

or faffing

unconscious

screwed

up

or

being

then this

you time.

they were b l o o d y g o o d . I w o n d e r

'Fountain O f Y o u t h ' , ' K i n g d o m ' ,

h o w t h e y ' l l fare at I C U ?

about seven or eight other songs.

U p the stairs then. T h r o u g h the

A n d an encore. A n d about as close

definitely absent, the best h e c k l e I

door, and what is it. N o t B-hives

at

to stage i n v a s i o n as I've seen here.

heard was

all. S o m e k i n d o f crap m u s i c , but

S h a m e t h e y ' r e so ugly really. S t i l l ,

'fuck

off.

the c o m e d y night. A l l that I noticed

seeing as I a m the o n l y person i n

what

was

this building who actually saw them

personality that counts.

that he seemed

So

what are they like?

rather upset

do

looks

matter,

it's

Your chance to relive

happy

memories

of

Freshers'

Week.

Send a copy of Felix home to your mother and grandmother and her

budgie.

band to have p l a y e d Imperial for,

around nine o ' c l o c k was flooded by

o o o h , between five and ten minutes.

those

he lost his temper a huge n u m b e r

y o u are reading this

T h e m u s i c p l a y e d and the people

o f times. T h i s i l l control e m o t i o n

review because y o u can't remember

r a v e d , and a generally g o o d time

If, h o w e v e r ,

squat, it's tough shit. I ' m not g o i n g

was

to tell y o u what y o u m i s s e d , and it

twelve

will

teach

you

not

to

drink

to

excess. The

Family

Cat

were m u c h the

same. W h a t d o y o u m e a n , y o u want to k n o w what I thought. W h a t is this,

had by (or

remember?)

could

still

about something, so m u c h so that

walk.

that

all. A t was the

around

it latter,

I

sweeting

Bob

to

were

points

Mr

Lock

half

appeared

cant

talking about. T h i s could have been

mass

said to add a 'surreal element' to the

unsure

what

he

was

m o v e d downstairs, complete with a

'comic

four feet tall ' e ' . A t around three

known

in the m o r n i n g the hundre d or so

'embarrassing

people

result. N i c e try but he needs a bit

left

standing

staggered

home.

moment',

but

the

better

phenomena silence'

of was

the

m o r e experience.

Points o f V i e w ? . V e r y w e l l then. I thought

lead

Wednesday

was

The

Freshers

The Family Cat Comedy Night compere The Giants of Jive T h a n k G o d it's F r i d a y ! T h e last day

that doesn't describe them as c r a p ,

of

I d o n ' t see w h y I s h o u l d disagree

w e r e , w e l l , j i v e . I haven't

with

anyone who likes j i v e yet, but w h e n

what w i l l

probably

In addition to the bands and disco

public

o p i n i o n , or something. All

Candyland

freshers

l o n g awaited A l a n P a r k e r stormed

lethal cocktails were on offer, ready

Candyland.

to r e m o v e y o u r m o n e y and y o u r

following me, you know, I mean,

b r a i n cells.

why

r e m i n d e d m e o f the sort o f people

to say t h e y ' r e bad. N o t to say they

Freshers

who

were different either. T h e y just are,

C o n s e q u e n t l y the C o n c e r t H a l l is

W o r k e r ' w he ne v e r y o u want to do

The

like J o h n M a j o r just is.

w a l l to w a l l with the y o u n g and

a quiet bit o f s h o p p i n g . W i t h hand

life as a small squashed

Alan

appear

Parker's

selling

act

'Socialist

else

I

still

would

think they

they're

come

I m p e r i a l . I m e a n , this band Disciples

h a d about as m u c h hedgehog

Ray JellyBelly's

Giants Of Jive found

I d o , I'll tell y o u what they thought.

non

please refer to last years review o f

onstage.

10-

overwhelming

film shows. Outside burgers and the

Freshers that bought the A l l - i n - O n e go.

such

After a short break, the awesome, C o m e d y N i g h t aptly named as only ever

most

there were the traditonal casino and

sounded pretty m u c h the same as

tickets

the

enjoyable week at Imperial College.

every other indie guitar b a n d , not

week

Shook the World to

have

p l a y e d W e m b l e y A r e n a , and have cooler T-shirts than James or Neds,

I thought that they were quite g o o d , but the m u s i c just a i n ' t m y style honey.

Next Week. Next Friday, I C ents present Spitfire, supported by Herb, doors open 9pm, tickets £3 (£2.50 adv. £1.50 ents c a r d ) . So there

It—


Felix 912

Clubs & Societies

11 October 1991

Freshers' Tournament T h e traditional curtain raiser to the Imperial C o l l e g e

Snooker

A f t e r h i s defeat,

Mike

Spence

season

c o m m e n t e d that A m i n u r w a s " a

1991

are a foot for this years

November

Open Snooker Championships. So

Flash Gordon 7 p m , T u e s d a y 15th O c t , M e c h E n g 220

was held last S u n d a y . T h e annual

b l o o d y g o o d p l a y e r ' ' and went o n

i f y o u still haven't j o i n e d the c l u b

Freshers Tournament provided a

to predict that he w o u l d

and want to, then c o m e along to the

Yep,

showcase for new snooker talent at

tournament.

c l u b d u r i n g any l u n c h time.

underwear

Imperial. T h i s years finalists had to

A m i n u r R a h m a n went o n to w i n the

w i n the

A n d so it w a s that

c o m e through a field o f 28 starters

tournament

and a marathon five and a half hours

frame, thus c o l l e c t i n g the £15 first

o f snooker.

prize.

T h e first s e m i - f i n a l match was

without

T h e loudest

dropping

afternoon went to the o n l y female

b o d y " . See 007 ( T i m o t h y Dalton)

Hear

players reached the semi-finals after

But she narrowly failed to reach the

i n the earlier

quarter finals, after a gallant effort

A r e y o u a mature student and want

Brian

in her second r o u n d m a t c h .

to meet others? If so then c o m e and

"Dive!".

s e m i - f i n a l , R o b e r t beat S i m o n two frames

to n i l , i n 2 close

fought

to

by a green slime thing! E x p e r i e n c e

J o i n I C O F now and save the j o b s o f thousands o f spaceship m o d e l -

E v e r y o n e is w e l c o m e . If y o u c a n ' t

and M i k e

Spence

made

two

to

have lunch in the U n i o n L o u n g e o n

make

Aminur

his m e n

M o n d a y 14th O c t o b e r at 1 2 . 3 0 p m .

atmosphere o f the S n o o k e r C l u b ,

(Chemistry)

tell

o n the pleasant

comment

located o n the top floor o f the U n i o n

(Maths).

Blessed

Several competitors were heard

games. T h e second semi-final w a s Rahman

slime

thing.See Peter D a v i s o n get bitten

between

Aminur

"Dispatch

not get bitten b y a green

defeating her first r o u n d opponent.

frame

Queen

W a r R o c k e t A j a x to b r i n g b a c k his

and R o b e r t T r o s i n o (Maths). B o t h

rounds. In a best o f three

after

Calling All Mature Students

competitor,

wins

James,

the universe

a few m i n o r races between here and Mongo).

between S i m o n B o u g h (Chemistry)

comfortable

Helen

saving

again (not to mention the E a r t h and

a

cheer o f the

i t ' s that g u y i n the silver

it a n d w o u l d

like

to get

makers.

It o n l y

costs

£2.50 to

become a member, and this includes

b u i l d i n g , and h o w v e r y reasonable

i n v o l v e d i n this c l u b then please

seeing

the £5 m e m b e r s h i p was for the use

contact

(Union

Otherwise it costs £1 for all paid up

Receptionist) a n d

m e m b e r s w h o have already seen a

Michelle

successful c o m e backs to w i n o n the

o f four full size tables for the whole

Administrative

pink and black respectively, beating

year.

we'll

M i k e two frames to n i l .

tournament has ended, preparations

So

n o w the Freshers

Began

get i n t o u c h

with y o u

your

film

film.

To all clubs...

CAN YOU WRITE?

Please

FCLIX

supply all

sports results or any club's

news,

no matter

m e

trivial,

d

how

before

Monday

n

lunchtime.

f e n

—12—

free.

film this year. F o r m o r e details turn up o n the

regarding future events.

first


Clubs & Societies

Felix 912

11 October 1991

Historical Fact or Fiction Is there r o o m at Imperial for

such

sentimental

of

Y e t , m u c h o f what we know from

or y o u r g i r l f r i e n d says she loves

Christianity is an historical o n e . It

The

science speaks o f G o d , that there is

y o u , o r a friend in the b u r n unit o f

College

drivel

as

issue

of

the

truth

religion? Here, at one o f the world's

is a n issue o f whether there is a

a Creator behind the intricate design

a hospital o r the birth o f y o u r first

finest

personal G o d w h o spoke a n d acted

of

child. T h e question will assert itself,

institutions

inquiry

and

development

of

scientific

technological

(superior

in

most

nature.We've

a l l k n o w n the

through a m a n , Jesus

'teleological impulse' that entices us

'why

Christ, and speaks and acts through

to say that plants ' w a n t ' to get at

and impulses?' Is chemistry the last

light,

answer?

decisively

respects to C a m b r i d g e , as we all

him

or

water

k n o w ) , is there a place, ought there

evidence that Jesus existed is far

together.

The

be a place, f o r such unscientific

weightier, a c c o r d i n g to objective,

scientific training doesn't obliterate

questions

nonsense as C h r i s t i a n i t y ?

c o m m o n l y accepted c r i t e r i a , than

that nagging

Christianity, but Christianity offers

the

came from

W e l l is there r o o m i n Imperial for

even

now.

evidence

that

T h e historical

Julius

Caesar

'tries' most

sense

to

stay

d o we have these reactions

rigorous

that ' a l l this

somewhere'.

existed. T h e contention that Jesus

d i d he d o i n h i s A - l e v e l s ? ) Y o u

was m o r e than a great m a n is also

k n o w , indeed cannot k n o w ,

w e l l supported b y s o l i d historical

science speaks for the existance o f

arguments.

something

prove

b y a n y 'scientific

m e t h o d ' that Julius C a e s a r actually ever

existed.

Beyond

Y o u cannot d o an

the

historical

issue,

A n d even m o r e , what we d o not

beyond

mere

existance

doesn't

of

such

vouch

for

real answers. F o r all scientists w h o

Julius Caesar? (That depends - how cannot

The

from

happen to also be h u m a n Christianity

beings,

m a y merit a bit o f

research.

science. T h e

If y o u are interested i n k n o w i n g

longings o f the h u m a n heart, o u r

m o r e , we are r u n n i n g a series o f presentations and discussions o n the

the

however, is an existential one. T h a t

well-nigh

validity o f the theory that Julius

is the issue o f what sense, i f a n y ,

affections, that b i o c h e m i s t r y c a n ' t

core

C a e s a r w a s . N o r c a n y o u formulate

to make o f this life a n d h o w to l i v e

satisfactorily

T u e s d a y at 12.30 p m i n E l e c E n g

it.

ana

towards a higher knowledge than is

4 0 3 B . O r y o u c a n contact m e o n

will

accessible

071-584-2933

experiment

an

equation

to

demonstrate

that

will

y i e l d the

Scientific

research

inevitable result: 'Julius C a e s a r ' .

mathematical

The

never tell y o u whether there is such

issue

of

Julius

Caesar's

calculations

irresistable desires and

to

explain,

impel

simple

us

laboratory

w o r k . E a s y e n o u g h to say it's a l l a

existance is an historical o n e , and

a thing as i o v e ' , o r goodness, o r

matter o f electrical impulses a n d

historical

meaning

chemical

questions

are

not

susceptible to scientific methods.

i n this activity w e call

reactions

-

O R I G I N A L

remind

T A L E N T

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Careers fair: Tuesday 15 October 1991 9.30am to 4.00pm Queen's Lawn, Imperial College If you can't make the careers fair check your careers service for a copy of our 1991-1992 brochure or contact: Graduate/MBA Recruitment-Europe Bankers Trust Company, 1 Appold Street, Broadgate, London EC2A 2HE. Tel: 071-982 2500.

— 13—

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facts

my


11 October 1991

Felix 912

Reviews

Waiting for Godot c o v e . W e l l , exactly two actually. However,

S a m (as we k n o w Him)

g i v e n that said experiences are so few,

consisting m a i n l y o f getting

manages to simultaneously weave

beaten up and m i x i n g with a strange

this into what the p r o g r a m

class o f people. T h e r e is a lot o f

notes

c l a i m is an A l l e g o r y o f the Theatre

visual humour and a few great gags,

O f T h e A b s u r d . W h i c h it m a y w e l l

but the air o f m e l a n c h o l y prevails

For

be, but what this translates to is that

(thanks to the script rather than R i k

Godot in 1955, w h i c h makes it all

very little happens over a great deal

and

the m o r e remarkable that it sounds

o f time. V l a d i m i r and Estragon are

turns to metaphor and leaves the

S a m u e l Beckett wrote Waiting

Ade's

portrayal).

The

story

extraordinarily as though it were

generally unhappy with their lot,

audience something to think about.

written with R i k M a y a l l and A d r i a n

although E s t r a g o n is pretty m u c h

T h e t h i n k i n g time easily elapses in

E d m o n s o n in m i n d . W h i c h is just

incapable o f r e m e m b e r i n g any o f it

the time it takes to get outside.

as w e l l , since it is none other than

and

they w h o tread the boards to b r i n g

pontificating o n the finer points o f

generation

Vladimir

is

too

busy

T h e play m a y introduce a to Beckett or

new

simply

are

p h i l o s o p h y to notice. D u r i n g their

disappoint both purists o f literature

D e r e k J a r m a n , although it c o u l d

waiting for G o d o t . T h a t ' s about it

v i g i l , they repeatedly fail to make

and bottom j o k e s . I liked it, and we

equally

really. W h i l e they wait they discuss

sense

saw H a r r y E n f i e l d i n the audience.

life etc. and c o m p l a i n o f the c l a p ,

endless

not to mention meeting the o d d r u m

steadily m o r e tiresome, especially

us

this

adaptation well

(designed

have

been

by

Derek

Griffiths). T h e story tells o f two gentlemen

o f fortune ( O K ,

tramps) w h o

o f their experiences loop

which

i n an

becomes

The Grazing Plywood Persil Baked Bean

Gerbil/Tetsuo at the Science M u s e u m m

M i c h a e l Faraday! Charles Babbage! R A L the R o b o t ! W h a t is there to

vertical

walls. walk

Don't

past

the

video

screens, they demonstrate some o f

say?

the most impressive robotics o f the

W e l l , p r o b a b l y a little bit m o r e than that w o u l d be useful. A t the

show. M y favourites are the pipe

m o m e n t the S c i e n c e M u s e u m (free

welder and the pipe cleaner. T h e

to I C , feast,

kids !)

boasts a

first welds a section o f pipe f r o m

veritable

the

nay, glut o f exhibitions to

Tying

in with

exhib w h i c h features

(count

them,

mechanical

loads)

Mecchano

sections

in

of

our

pals

in a

of

the

twiddly

devils

round

straights.

loads

the

second

its m u l t i p l e

corners

With

and

up

headlights

resembling the head o f a tapeworm, it c o u l d be straight f r o m a s c i - f i horror movie!

variety o f exciting ' n ' fresh roles. Most

whereas

turning and d r a g g i n g

the F e s t i v a l o f

Japan, we start with a Robotics Japan

inside

inches its w a y a l o n g a thin tube,

regale y o u r senses.

are

T h e second half o f the exhibition

displaying their skills at useful tasks

is interesting, but a little r u n o f the

like balancing spinning tops o n eggs

m i l l . It contains industrial robots

o r b u i l d i n g small steel boxes with

performing

flag designs o n t h e m . E i t h e r that or

pleasing

c l i m b i n g walls v e r y badly (ie. with

painting and flower arranging. T h e

more

tasks,

aesthetically

such

as

portrait

all the alacrity o f a stoned squirrel)

technology o f the times, but

and pretending to be o n M a r s . L o t s

100 ! years later the M u s e u m has

w a l k past a major tourist attraction

mention,

of

built

without

a

cringe worthy part o f the display. It

them

do

including

nice

things,

himself,

a

working

version

to

Every

day

hundreds second

an

Babbage's o w n specs, all glistening

Science

Museum,

industrial welding robot who counts

brass and clickety-clockety ratchety

genius,

is

d a n c i n g (yeah !) and s u m i painting

things. H o o r a y !

amongst

R A L

arty

now

Jolly

his hobbies.

paintings

he

does

treasure

my

too;

nice

I

black-and-

shall white

b a m b o o for some time to c o m e . M e a n w h i l e , downstairs there's a special bit referring to the w o r k o f Charles

Babbage,

gentleman

responsible

wonderfully Engine.

Esq.,

baroque

Said

abortive

Engine

attempt

to

for

the the

Difference w as build

And

upstairs

a

gallery of

Technology, 31st.

you

should

be

ashamed o f yourself. L o t s o f w e i r d

an

Americanised

the

Looking

Alice Glass

strolling though current technology

After

futuristic

Japanese

until

open

October

It's an interesting exhibition, with

an appalling

(but

short)

scheduled throughout the day. Y o u must not miss the first

paraphernalia and the m a n h i m s e l f

precursors

model

(despite his great o l d age) lectures

T h e s e ancient toys use sand and

engine either, situated b e h i n d the

every d a y .

balances to m o v e , delivering tea or

shop. E v e r y b o d y at I C should take

wonderful

electrical

an

A l l g o o d rip r o a r i n ' educational

a

fun and free too. D o n ' t forget that

doorway,

Japanese

the g i z m o s .

gracefully window

of

one hits the

technology

robot that m o v e s slow

cleaner

robots.

steps. T h r o u g h a

however,

T h i s failure was put d o w n at the

The Flying Gerbil

to

tumbling d o w n forefront

happy-go-lucky

Through

v i d e o , a small display contains the

and

walking

the

contains

to

most

demonstrations o f all the m a c h i n e s

kiddies in L a u n c h Pad and play with

to

of

the

in simulated 3 D . W o r t h a l o o k i f

i f nothing else y o u c a n fight o f f the

time

FREE

being

y o u c a n stand it.

computer,

Victorian

repository

currently

and

w h i c h never succeeded in its day.

mechanical

The

current

M i c h a e l Faraday and i f I have to tell is

glance.

introduction, h o w e v e r , is worth a

excuse not to see the e x h i b i t i o n o f

you

he

students

students at I m p e r i a l , so there's n o again,

devoted to the life and w o r k s who

of

animal that

will

of

advantage

Babbage's

of

the

free

working difference

entrance,

especially y o u lady engineers, since

a

one o f the staff was c o m p l a i n i n g o f

like a

the predominance o f males. Sounds

with and

a

climb

familiar d o e s n ' t it.

Tetsuo


11 October 1991

Felix 912

Feature

Tiddlywinking and Penguin on M o n o p o l y . Oxford

R o s e s a r o u n d E r o s . T h e n despite a

most o f the collectors had a r r i v e d !

The

Street is always w e l l attended, but

Tiddlywinking

valiant attempt to escape, P e n g u i n

A barrel o f F l o w e r s O r i g i n a l was

£2,804.81, c o m p a r e d with £1,400

was grabbed by the C C U E x e c s and

put o n by the staff and was o f f by

collected

was t h r o w n into the fountain.

7 p m . T h a t ' s 288 pints i n itself. T h e

tiddlywinking.

staff

totals for the i n d i v i d u a l C C U s are:

this

year

the

everyone's The

down

turn-out

exceeded

expectations.

day

began w i t h

everyone

After lunch, the vans ferried most

then

London

put

on

Pride

an

unsettled

which

no-one

last The

year's

approximate

N o t t i n g H i l l G a t e , to try to ' D r i n k -

touched as it wasn't fit to drink. N o

' W a k e y W a k e y S o u t h s i d e ' by this

a - p u b - d r y ' . B y m i d — a f t e r n o o n , the

others c a m e o f f tap, but all were

year's R A G chairman, Penguin.

bar staff had realised that e v e r y o n e

severely depleted and a c o u p l e o f

The

U n i o n vans then ferried everyone

was there for the sole purpose o f

shorts were d r a i n e d . A l l i n a l l , I

T a m s i n B r a i s h e r w h o managed to

to S p e a k e r ' s C o r n e r ( H y d e P a r k )

c o n s u m i n g vast quantities o f alcohol

reckon it was a triumphant success!'

get

for

with the ultimate a i m o f d r i n k i n g

A l t h o u g h the pub was

c o l l e c t o r was M a s s i e H a r p e r

Tiddlywink.

After

Boomalakas,

the

the

mammoth

Kangelas

and

Arms,

at

was

were led in a V E R Y l o u d c a l l o f

of

Macaulay

collected

people

start

the

total

assembling at Southside where they

the

to

final

dry,

the place d r y .

tiddlywinking

The

following

information

is

there

w as

not d r u n k

an

excellent

atmosphere amongst the collectors

courtesy o f an independent expert:

(and

RAG

'Boddington's

afternoon and evening was declared

c o l l e c t i n g cans and a

tiddly w i n k s ,

nearly 2 2 0

tiddlywinked

there

few

students

way

and L o n d o n

Pride

were off within half an hour, before

a

a

few

others).

The

whole

began at about n o o n . A r m e d with

complete

R C S - £1750 C & G - £870 M i n e s - £120 fresher

£53.71

and

collector the

collected £77.43.

was

overall

top who

B o t h totals

are

excellent. W e l l done to e v e r y o n e else w h o c o l l e c t e d - every p e n n y helps!

success.

along

top

A l l o f the m o n e y collected o n Saturday is g o i n g to Action

Aid,

O x f o r d Street and Regent Street to

w h o help people in the third w o r l d

E r o s , c o l l e c t i n g m o n e y f r o m the

to help themselves.

c r o w d s o f shoppers as they went.

If T i d d l y w i n k i n g is anything to

T w o o f the inviolate mascots — Jez and B o

— accompanied

go

the

by,

then

(including

tiddlywinkers o n their travels. M o s t

the

this

year's

Live

t o m o r r o w ) s h o u l d be

RAG

Monopoly BIG!

people finished b y about 2 p m and despite the fact that it started to rain,

Beccy L a n d

everyone joined in R i n g - a - R i n g - a -

Hiya!

RAG

T h e catch is that there are lots o f

C h a i r m a n here. W e l l , last Saturday

It's

Penguin, the

other R A G s c o m i n g to collect for

We

the d a y , so y o u ' l l have to c o m p e t e

which

against t h e m . T h e r e are also p r i z e s

was double last year's total, and had

f r o m us here at I C R A G . O u r usual

lots o f fun too.

incentive

was

(almost) b e y o n d

belief.

raised an a m a z i n g £2800,

Great effort was put i n by all o f the

CCU

and

Rag

people,

but

ultimately it was those who put their all

into ' c o l l e c t i n g , w i n k i n g

drinking' who

Fun and frolics on Oxford

Street

m o n e y at T i d d l y w i n k s , y o u ' v e got raises loads! It's a team g a m e , so

w h i c h must be c a r r i e d at all times,

get y o u r team o f 4 to 6 together

turning up in fancy dress (the sillier

all c o n c e r n e d !

NOW

the

tell

about

if

you

haven't

already.

Live

B a s i c a l l y we g i v e each team a set

M o n o p o l y (it's great, d o it, y o u ' l l

o f clues and each m e m b e r o f each

have fun, w e ' l l

raise loads

team gets a c o l l e c t i n g c a n .

ooops!

sales

Sorry,

you

. . .

pitch

on

overdrive) I'd better c h u c k i n some

operates

so i f y o u ' v e already collected some

and it an

I

also

T - s h i r t and £300 for a sweatshirt),

event to remember! S o well done to

Before

really made

scheme

(collect £50 for a m u g , £150 for a

better),

and

by

acquiring

a head start! Last £4,600,

year,

Monopoly

but w i t h o u r

raised

astounding

start to this year, I r e c k o n we c o u l d

treasure. is a l w a y s a dubious

easily d o u b l e that! A l l we need are

The

title, because most people tend to,

L O T S o f teams collecting L O T S o f

clues are y o u r t e a m ' s reason

for

w e l l let's not beat a r o u n d the bush

m o n e y and h a v i n g L O T S o f fun i n

manically mobbing

all

o n this one, ' n i c k ' signs and cones.

the process! S o , dress u p , be silly

y o u r way

'Treasure'

thank-yous. T h a n k s must go to D i c e

o v e r our b e l o v e d capital.

T h i s isn't difficult, let's face

it,

and w e ' l l see y o u for registration in

and G a m e s w h o generously donated

W e ' v e basically got a clue for every

anyone c a n n i c k a c o n e ! S o w e ' r e

B E I T Q U A D f r o m 10am o n w a r d s

2 , 0 0 0 t i d d l y w i n k s , without w h i c h

street on the M o n o p o l y board. E a c h

l o o k i n g for ' c l e v e r ' treasure. In the

(though we want e v e r y o n e b a c k b y

the w h o l e day w o u l d n ' t have been

clue, for w h i c h y o u have to visit the

past, c l e v e r treasure has i n c l u d e d a

6 p m , so the sooner y o u start, the

street to be able to solve, is worth

fast-food baseball c a p , a fast food

m o r e time y o u have!

a certain n u m b e r o f points.

employee's

possible.

T h a n k s also to A

Geographers'

Map

Co

to

Ltd,

Z

who

The

badge

saying

'Grim

k i n d l y donated 15 c o l o u r A to Z s ,

team with the most points wins. T h e

Reaper, h o w m a y I help y o u ? ' and

to g i v e

C C U ' s m o t o r i s e d mascots w i l l be

an arrest warrant all o f these were

travelling

obtained by haggle and banter, not

as

freshers.

prizes

And

to the top

thanks

to

all

15 the

drivers and the C C U s for their help. Right w e l l that's e n o u g h o f m e thanking

people,

MONOPOLY

(it's

great,

do

around

Community

Chest

to and

act

as

Chance

cards, and a r o a m i n g j a i l v a n w i l l

now

also be o n the p r o w l to capture any

it,

team it sees. Y o u can also get points

y o u ' l l have F u n , w e ' l l raise loads

in

other

ways.

These

include

Live

c o l l e c t i n g lots o f m o n e y (this is the

M o n o p o l y is always great fun and

easiest way), having a team mascot

.

.

.

oops

sorry

again).

S o , B e M a d , B e S i l l y & B e Part O f It!!

Cheers,

P E N G U I N - Rag C h a i r 91/92

spanner and boltcutters. S o there's

P S B e c c y d i d this y e a r ' s c l u e s , so

a challenge for y o u !

she's the one to bribe (if y o u c a n

P R I Z E S . Y e s , there are p r i z e s ,

find out w h o she is).

too! F i r s t l y there's the prizes f r o m

PPS

M E N C A P

Southside at the c r a c k o f

(for

whom

we're

L a s t Saturday

we

woke

up

11am.

collecting) for the highest personal

L o o k out Beit! A n y suggestions for

totals o f the d a y . T h e s e are B I G .

a W a k e y W a k e y E v e l y n Gardens?

—15—


Felix 912

Advertisement

11 October 1991

Should we employ you if you always say^s'? • No

•Yes There's n o p o i n t i n recruiting some-

O f c o u r s e this is the a n s w e r w e ' r e

one just to agree w i t h y o u .

l o o k i n g for. I n fact, it's so o b v i o u s l y

B u t there is a sense i n w h i c h we are

the answer w e ' r e l o o k i n g for, o n l y a

l o o k i n g for m e n a n d w o m e n w h o are

y e s - p e r s o n w o u l d t i c k it.

p o s i t i v e t h i n k e r s . I n other w o r d s , y e s -

Maybe

people, rather t h a n b u r e a u c r a t s . People

in a n o - w i n dilemma.

is p o s s i b l e , a n d w h o c a n c o m e u p w i t h

If y o u ' v e s p o t t e d that, t h e n y o u ' r e

n e w ideas a n d s o l u t i o n s . .

definitely

W h e r e a y e s - p e r s o n sees challenges,

the k i n d

of person

we're

l o o k i n g for.

a b u r e a u c r a t o n l y sees p r o b l e m s .

B e c a u s e w o r k i n g for B P i n v o l v e s

k n o w s that a mistake

m a k i n g d e c i s i o n s where

c a n often be t u r n e d i n t o a n advantage

are few a n d far b e t w e e n .

later o n .

easy

answers

H o w d o y o u assess projects that only

O t h e r s t r y o n l y to a v o i d mistakes

wrong

w i t h the q u e s t i o n because it puts y o u

w h o believe that a n y t h i n g

A yes-person

there is s o m e t h i n g

i n the first place,

making

c o m e to f r u i t i o n i n the d i s t a n t future?

knowing

Is it better to back the strategy that

that n e w ideas always c a r r y risks a n d

pays £10 m i l l i o n over 9 years o r the one

so the safest answer for t h e m to give is

that w i l l p a y £2 m i l l i o n over 3 years?

generally n o . Of

course

B u t before y o u m a k e d e c i s i o n s like the w o r l d

needs

both

that w e w i l l have to make a n i m p o r t a n t

sorts o f people. But

our kind

one a b o u t y o u . of

rare. If they weren't,

yes-people are

We

we w o u l d n ' t be

can't p r o m i s e that the answer

w i l l be yes. B u t i f y o u d o n ' t a p p l y y o u

r u n n i n g this a d .

c a n be sure that it w i l l be n o .

For all our tomorrows.

For all our tomorrows.

—16—


Felix 912

11 October 1991

Editorial

T h i s is m y fourth editorial so far

Please write l e g i b l y o n a piece o f

and i t ' s not getting any easier. I

paper the name o f y o u r c l u b (or

have the unfortunate handicap o f

equivalent), the time o f the event

not being so opinionated that I can

am/pm, w h e r e it is and what it is,

witter o n ad nauseam every week.

i f necessary. T a m u c h l y .

M a n y apologies to those w h o got

Staff meeting.

entitled ' G r a d u a t e i s m ' o n page 4,

their F e l i x late last week - this was

I hereby c a l l a staff meeting for

which

because o f an emergency w h i c h had

M o n d a y 12.30 i n the F e l i x office.

to

T h i s time I p r o m i s e I ' l l be there.

take

precedence

over

Felix

col l ati on.

week

Last

I

was

completely

shattered after a night's collating

A n y t h i n g y o u w i s h to include i n

and

F e l i x ought to be i n the F e l i x office

Pl e a s e

b y 12.30 M o n d a y . T h i s applies to

interested i n the newspaper.

the U n i o n O f f i c e as w e l l. I get v e r y upset i f things arrive

afterwards

come

along

I

Studies. I refer y o u to the excellent article

A Very Interesting Read.

the a f o r e s a i d

P"*^

gives

alternative

a

rarely

view

of

glimpsed employer's

attitudes to graduates. that getting

Remember

a j o b benefits

both

parties. T h e e m p l o y e r requires y o u

emergency.

just as m u c h as y o u require the

of you're

e m p l o y e r . T h i s is not a n excuse to be arrogant - a n arrogant

graduate

If a n y b o d y has any comments to

is o n e o f the foulest creatures o n

m a k e o n the 'paper, d o c o m e a n d

g o d ' s clean planet - but be aware o f

because b y then I have arranged the

tell m e a n y t i m e . I c a n ' t guarantee

y o u r worth to yourself.

page plan and often there is no r o o m

I'll

take

suggestions

o n , but i f

t h e y ' r e constructive c r i t i c i s m they

D o e s a n y o n e out there have any

will

registered.

ideas about what y o u w o u l d call a

frustrated

Examples

constructive

student newspaper i n , say, a large

a n d y o u angry.

In a

o f what

C o n s o r t . . . N o , Consort. C . O . N . S . O.

R.

T

Y e s , he was

German.... think

Phillip

is G r e e k ,

I

N o , a science college

London

SW7

SW7

2BB

2BB

Thankyou...

Goodbye.' I c a n ' t d o m u c h about the other parts o f the address

(though I ' m

w o r k i n g o n it) but I can with F e l i x . T h e r e a r e g o o d reasons w h y F e l i x

what F e l i x is might get confused. I w o u l d like y o u r reaction to the possibility

similar v e i n , F r i d a y s and M o n d a y s

c r i t i c i s m is not are ' i t ' s a load o f

are the best time to c o m e and talk

bollocks', 'you're all cunts', ' i t ' s

K e n s i n g t o n ? A name that i s n ' t a

Credits

science

Prince Consort

R o a d . . . . Prince. A s in Phillip

tradition, and those few w h o k n o w

magazine less current, makes m e

be

peculiar address

should stay as F e l i x - there is a

Felix Name Change

to put the articles in. T h i s makes the

certainly

itorial

college

in

South

along

with

sensible

alternatives o f a different

name.

to m e about printing o r print unit

got too m a n y w o r d s ' ,

j o k e but is a functional description

business. L i k e w i s e I w i l l be i n a

Phil,

it' etcetera.

o f the 'paper would be the a i m . T h i s

better m o o d to help y o u p h o t o c o p y

U n m e n t i o n a b l e s , Ian, Sum i t , M a t t ,

Careers Fair

newspaper was called F e l i x in about

o n those days. A n y o n e d e m a n d i n g

T h e Careers F a i r w i l l be happening

1949 as a p u n o n the c o l l e g e ' s arts

Butcher, U r m i , Jeremy, K h u r r u m ,

o n the 15th and 16th o f O c t o b e r -

magazine

the author o f the rather

next T u e s d a y a n d W e d n e s d a y .

year old joke. It is also very difficult

story, James, M e g a n , P o d d y , Stef and T o b y . T h e H a n d b o o k collators

help

in non- Felix

business o n

Tuesdays, Wednesdays

and above

T d o n ' t like

It

'Phoenix'.

It is a

fifty

Jonty,

' David,

Rose,

all T h u r s d a y s w i l l take a v e r y l o w

w i l l be held o n the Q u e e n ' s L a w n ,

to use o n the telephone - apart f r o m

priority. Y o u w i l l have to wait until

by the Q u e e n ' s T o w e r (which is the

it not sounding

I have a spare m o m e n t .

large phallic object with a green tit

advertisers d o n ' t take us seriously

C C U s , Clubs and Societies.

Andy

o n top i n front o f the Sherfield

- the conversation usually runs thus:

Thomas,

Could

the S M H M S U ,

RSMU,

C&GU,

B u i l d i n g ) . T h e m i n o r irritation is

professional,

' F e l i x Office

so

Yes Felix.... F .

R C S U a n d a l l the C l u b s

that w a y o v e r h a l f the companies

E . L . I X . A s the c a t . . . . T h e

and Societies o f the college put stuff

are a l w a y s accountants w h o d o n ' t

cat....the

care what course y o u d i d as l o n g as

Quad

y o u got a first a n d the rest are

Quad

in the W h a t ' s O n p i g e o n h o l e i n the Felix

Office

f o r the deadline

indicated above. T h i s is the college newspaper - it w o u l d be nice i f I could

publicise

college

events.

Y e s . Beit

Beit,

E.

U. A. D

found in colleges

like

was G e r m a n

with

Mushroom

L0OKEP,

I.

T.

Quadrangle. Q .

companies w h o only want people Philately

B.

Quad

with a 2(i) i n something obscure

ONCE UPONAf IME, FELIX   , LIKE F  .

It means

a square

N o , I think he Y e s it is a

. , . S 0 HE W E N T TO MARCEL'S Bl-SEX SALON FOR A N IMA6E CHANGE. BUT 5 HOURS OF PERMINfr, PYIN&-,

AND FLUEEiNCf LATCE...

THE CAT

THIS TIME

cartoon....

V

-

Penguin,

the

Andy,

Plane

B e c c y , the strange

Jonathan, G a r e t h , S i d ,

S m i t h , C o l i n Bathe, Paul

Reynish,

Paul

Mylan,

Jennifer, Z o e , F l e m i n g and all those I've

forgotten.

F e l i x is p r o d u c e d f o r and b e h a l f o f the Imperial College U n i o n Publications Board a n d is p r i n t e d b y the I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e U n i o n Print Unit, Prince Consort Road, London S W 7 2 B B . ( T e l : 071-225 8672). Editor: A d a m Harrington, Business Manager: Jeremy Burnell. Copyright Felix 1991. I S S N 1040-0711.

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Letters

Felix 912

LETTERS The deadline for letters is 12.30pm, the Monday before publication.

11 October 1991

Forgery Clarification

Brown Nose Dear I

Adam, am

writing

everyone

Please put letters in the Editor's pigeonhole in the Felix Office.

to

involved

congratulate i n the

events

organised last week. T h e y were all smoothly run and v e r y

enjoyable.

F r i d a y ' s event however was slightly marred

for

me

by

a

very

unfortunate incident. A

member

crew

A l l letters should be addressed to the Editor, i.e. 'Dear Editor' or 'Dear A d a m ' not to any 3rd party.

intelligence

Dear

writing

to clarify

a

few

I wrote ' F o r g e r y ' across t h e m , so

points made in y o u r news article

they c o u l d not be used again. N o t ,

about forged £10 notes.

as y o u r article i m p l i e d , that the stall

T h e C a r n i v a l o r g a n i s e d o n the M o n d a y o f F r e s h e r s ' W e e k was not the w o r k o f the R o y a l C o l l e g e o f

received these notes with

forgery

written across t h e m . O n finding the notes, I told A n d y

S c i e n c e U n i o n , but the w o r k

of

F l a n a g a n , the U n i o n B a r M a n a g e r ,

IC

and also the organiser o f the

College

Union

and

the burger stall at this event. T h e notes that w e r e found o n the were

noticed

returned a forgery

after

I

had

to a customer

t r y i n g to buy s o m e food. I c h e c k e d the till and found two others, and

IC

Rugby Cocktails. I

hope

this

stall.

Burger

marked

and

lack

'borrowed'

of two

This

resulted

in

a

slight

altercation. A s the organiser o f the B u r g e r s , I w o u l d l i k e to apologise to M i n e s and can assure y o u it w i l l not happen again. T h e missing knife has

Imperial

stall

a

knives f r o m the M i n e ' s C o c k t a i l

Adam,

I am

Ents. A l l R C S U n i o n organised was

A l l letters should be signed by the author but names can be withheld by request.

o f the R C S

showed

been

recovered

returned, contact me One

of

marvellous

the

and w i l l

guests

idea,

be

somehow. had

i f he stole

a two

bags o f b u r g e r rolls he c o u l d get rectifies

the

twenty-four

burgers free!

I

hope

involvement o f the R C S U n i o n and

you're

the happenings o n M o n d a y

yourself and w o u l d appreciate a £24

Yours sincerely, Gareth Smith, RCSU Secretary 1988-90

night.

feeling

very

proud

of

donation to R a g to c o v e r the cost.

Honorary

O n c e again, sorry to M i n e s .

David Ensell,

RCS Ents

Chair.

Sports Centre Investment Dear

Adam,

Proposals

be recouped by encouraging

more

Centre and to develop the Southside

use by both college and non-college

facilities represent an investment by

personnel.

the C o l l e g e o f the order o f £0.75m.

vacation and at weekends i n term time,

Since,

the Sports

during

Centre

the

is

very

m u c h under-used this w o u l d

seem

to be a sensible idea f r o m VACANCY

which

e v e r y o n e shoul d benefit.

WARDENSHIP

W h a t we have to ensure is that

CLAYPONDS

preferential

T h e C o l l e g e i n v i t e s a p p l i c a t i o n s f o r the n e w p o s i t i o n o f w a r d e n at C l a y p o n d s w h i c h is a v a i l a b l e f r o m 1st D e c e m b e r 1991. C l a y p o n d s is a n e x c i t i n g n e w C o l l e g e residential d e v e l o p m e n t in E a l i n g , m a i n l y for 2 n d and 3 r d year undergrads a n d postgrads. Wardens receive rent-free a c c o m m o d a t i o n i n return for pastoral duties w i t h i n t h e i r r e s i d e n c e . T h e post is o p e n to a l l n o n - u n d e r g r a d m e m b e r s o f the college.

use

is

retained

by

college personnel and also that the changes,

whilst attracting outside

users,

do

not

unacceptable college

represent

an

compromise

for At STA TTsvel, we're all seasoned travellers so we should know a thing or two

users.

T h e s e proposals o f change have to be

approved

by

the Athletics

C o m m i t t e e w h i c h is responsible to the G o v e r n i n g

Body

for

If y o u w o u l d like further info and an a p p l i c a t i o n f o r m contact L o u i s e A i l w a r d , ext 8 6 9 0 / 3 2 7 6 , R o o m 5 1 6 , S h e r f i e l d . applications

is

31

headed. And because we know the travel business backwards,

we can offer you the best deals on fares - even the flexibility you go, without having to pay over the top for the privilege.

to change your mind as We operate from 120

offices worldwide. So call in soon.

college

Straw,

the F a c i l i t i e s M a n a g e r

to

d r a w i n g s in the Sports C e n t r e so that users can see what is planned and can i n f o r m their representative

for

about where you're

sports p r o v i s i o n . I have asked V a l p r o v i d e a display o f the architects

C l o s i n g date O c t o b e r 1991

YOURE BOUND,

T h e p l a n is that this outlay should to change the Sports

Imperial College Sherfield Building Prince Consort Rd, London SW7 2AZ

o n the Athletics C o m m i t t e e o f their opinions.

ULU

Yours sincerely, Ken Stevens.

— 18—

TRAVEL


11 October 1991

Felix 912

Boycott Revolting Fiction Dear

to

Editor,

Regarding

article

in

Freshers'

F e l i x entitled ' I m p e r i a l R a c i s m ' : I a m i n c l i n e d to agree with the Rector

Sir

Eric

Ash

et

al

that

' A c a d e m i c s for F r e e S p e e c h ' is not

Letters

Sports Centre Squashed Dear

Editor,

I read with interest the letter by John

McMahon

Moore

in

last

w e e k ' s F e l i x 910 on the subject o f

ban

Leuchter

from

entering

the sports centre. A s captain o f the

Britain. T r u e , free speech is a basic

Imperial

democratic right but nobody should

speak for the rest o f the committee

College

squash

c l ub

be g i v e n a p l a t f o r m to stir up racial

and the c l u b

in endorsing

hatred.

point o f

McMahon

Many

members

of

the

Jewish

Mr

I

every

Moore's

letter. I enclose a letter sent to every

a g r o u p actually based at Imperial

Society lost grandparents and other

member

but

family

gas

Sports C o m m i t t e e by the

and

C l u b committee o n 13 September

rather

a

front

for

nasty,

members

c o w a r d l y racists using o u r c o l l e g e

chambers

because o f its prestigious reputation

Majdanek.

to add credence to their incredulous 'scientific'

report.

It

is

people

I shall not waste space and time

being

of

to

prevent

happen again.

the

Eichmann

and the records o f trial

(Eichmann

If

for

re-written

happened

film-footage

once

there

all

history

be

are

from

what

lest

allowed

any

has to

Imperial

f i c t i o n,

out)—never denied the existence o f

y o u , or at least call o n all students

the F i n a l Solution) and

to boycott y o u r lectures.

T h a n k G o d the N U S and others were able to force the H o m e O f f i c e

Yours, Michael Factor, Chairman Jewish

can

reveal

yourselves

other pieces o f irrefutable evidence.

so we

please

h i m s e l f — m a y his name be blotted numerous

re-educate

Acting Society.

How to cope with your supervisor... Seminar given by Eric Ash plus

others

for PG

s who want to succeed! Mech

Fri 5.30pm FREE

Squash

decent

academics out there publishing such revolting

o f the South K e n s i n g t o n

1991 v o i c i n g o u r c o n c e r n s :

m i l l i o n m e n , w o m e n and c h i l d r e n can't just disappear, not to mention

the

Auschwitz

important

proving the holocaust happened, six

the

in

interested in clean, functional facilities, than saunas and solariums, even though these may attract more private members. We do not believe that our students would ever use a cafe/bar when popular subsidised facilities are available across the gardens.

As concerned students of Imperial College we should like to bring to your attention several points arising from the recent, and the proposed changes to the Sports Centre. Although we are all members of the Squash Club Committee, and have a vested interest in the squash courts, we believe our concerns to be relevant to all student users of the Sports Centre. We would welcome your consideration and comments on the following: 1. Are all die recent and the planned changes in the best interest of Imperial College students and staff, for whom, after all, the Sports Centre was originally intended? It seems increasingly that non-college members are being welcomed and although their season ticket/membership costs are somewhat greater, they do not appear to reflect the sort of expense that would be involved for these people to join a private health club which would be their alternative. We have no objections to private members (except that they crowd facilities intended for students) but believe their payments should be employed to subsidise student use; in this way we feel that the recent 50% increase for a student season ticket (now for only nine months, as opposed to twelve!) could surely have been avoided. It also seems that private members pay little, particularly compared to staff, for example anyone off the street (or from a local mansion) pays only lOp more for a game of squash than someone who works at Imperial College. We are very concerned that the running of the sports centre is being moved towards a private venture, rather than a college facility.

2. Although luxurious,

—19—

our sports centre is not students are more

3. Charging for courts that are specifically set aside for Squash Club members' use seems like a move aimed directly at eliminating any need or desire for the student to join the Squash Club. We strongly argue against the introduction of charges (£1 for half an hour has been proposed). For a club member to play just once a week will now cost approx. £40 over the year (compared to only £5 Squash Club membership last year). We also fear that the membership of the largest ACC club will diminish and the club performance, which has been excellent in both University League and UAU events (last year the ladies won the London League and won through to the quarter finals of the UAU), will suffer. The college's sporting reputation will also suffer as a consequence. 4. Last year's squash club captain specifically requested to be included in SKSC meetings but was never informed as to when they took place. Now, more than ever, more student voice on this committee seems an increasingly important necessity. Can this be guaranteed in the future? We would greatly appreciate a response on these matter. Thank you for your consideration. Yours, Squash Club Committee. W e have had two replies so far, one in support o f o u r case and one f r o m P. E . M e e c l a i m i n g 'it had nothing to do with h i m ' even though he sits on

the

South

Ken

Sports

Committee! We

feel that it is time for

the

people o f I C to make a stand to save o u r sports centre f r o m what looks like impending privatisation. T h e r e is e n o u g h incentive to stop sport at I C with heavy w o r k l o a d s

without

a d d i n g a financial b u r d e n to it as well.

Yours faithfully, C Robinson (for Squash Committee).


Felix 912

News

11 October 1991

Splot S o c S h o c k

YOUNG PERSON'S RAILCARD Special Offer HALF PRICE £8.00 (original price

£16)

N o w available f r om the U n i o n Office i n Beit Q u a d SPECIAL OFFER CLOSES 9th N o v e m b e r so be quick

The handgun pictured above is the Splatmaster Rapide, classed together with the Kalashnkov. A C r o w n C o u r t in W a l e s classed a paintball

gun,

the

The

decision

to

class

the

Splatmaster

Splatmaster Rapide as a firearm was

guidelines

are

drawn

up by

the

H o m e Office. These may include

R a p i d e , as a prohibited w e a p o n o n

due to its s m a l l size and its use o f

registration for individuals and the

the 2 n d O c t o b e r . T h e g u n is now

c a r b o n dioxide as a propellant. T h e

licensing

ranked in the same weapons class

majority o f paintball guns i n Great

m o v e s to outlaw the sport w o u l d be

as K a l a s h n i k o v s , mortars and anti-

B r i t a i n are not semi-automatic and

fought by the E u r o p e a n Paintball

tank weapons.

considerably larger i n size.

Sports F e d e r a t i o n .

Judge H u g h W i l l i a m s r u l e d that this

particular

weapon,

a

semi-

Paintball enjoyed

by

is

a

many

sport

'It

currently

people

in this

is

o f paintball

business

sites.

as

Any

usual

for

SplotSoc at the m o m e n t , ' said N i g e l

The

'Ethical

magazine

automatic paint g u n , was to be put

c o u n t r y , Imperial C o l l e g e has its

Strevens, a m e m b e r o f the SplotSoc

Aid',

under S e c t i o n five o f the F i r e a r m s

own

SplotSoc.

C o m m i t t e e , ' o u r first trip is all set

organisation,

A c t 1968. T h i s prevents the use o f

P o l i c e have not yet enforced this

for 27th O c t o b e r and so far we have

some

law and it is l i k e l y that the r u l i n g

r e c e i v e d a positive response

magazine

will

this y e a r ' s i n t a k e . '

the

gun

even

with

a

firearms

certificate.

paintball

be

society,

suspended

while

official

from

Scientist',

published an

by

a

new

'Animal

anti-vivisection is be i ng

students

in

posted

to

college.

The

c l a i m s that they

have

succeeded i n persuading ' A ' L e v e l examination

boards

to

offer

an

alternative to ani m al dissection as part o f a standard course and are

Imperial College Union D r Jaafar D h i a h Jaafar, a f o r m e r

the

research

C e n t r e , but D r D a v i d W e b s d a l e o f

assisstant

at

Imperial

Baghdad

Atomic

Energy

a

the P h y s i c s Department expressed

major force b e h i n d Iraq's nuclear

doubt that D r Jaafar's training was

weapons

suitable

College

is suspected

o f bei ng

programme.

D r Jaafar is the V i c e President o f

Applications are invited for the position of SUBWARDEN in FISHER H A L L We are looking for a friendly, resourceful and responsible individual to assist the Warden in the day to day running of the hall, in return for rent-free accommodation suitable for a single person. Application forms are available from the accommodation office and should be returned to Dr R J Murphy, Dept of Biology by Monday 21 October 1991

for

the development

h o p i n g to persuade U n i v e r s i t i e s to f o l l o w suit. Animal

Career's Fair Marquee on

ensure

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British R a i l w a y s is offering a new

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W o m e n


AUTUMN 1991

IMPERIAL COLLEGE

BOOKSTORE OK, so it's the beginning of the new academic year again! Although you may not want to part with your cash straight away, may we suggest you visit the Imperial College Union Bookstore to see how we can help you.

FIND IT'S

US EASY! ICU BEIT

Psntel Not only do we try to stock all your essential course books, as recommended by your lecturers, but any titles not stocked, be it pure science or science fiction, can be ordered simply and efficiently by our book ordering service. We also offer a huge range of stationery at prices to beat any well known national chain, as well as greetings cards, confectionery, toiletries and some household goods. So, whether it's a book, a biro or a bar of chocolate you want, we 're sure there's something at ICU Bookstore for you.

AUTUMN 1991

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4* PARKER Don't forget, we are also the only retail outlet stocking a fantastic range of merchandise emblazoned with the ICU logo. Visit early in the week to be sure of one of our great sweatshirts at only £15, or an ICU mug at £1.60. Bookmarks, files, t-shirts and cufflinks are among other popular items. Remember, we 're at your service, so if there's anything you need ask one of our friendly staff and we '11 do our best to help. We're currently under new management, so please bear with us as we work towards the future with you, the customer, as priority. See you Monday to Friday, between 9am and 6pm!

Imperial College Union ENTERTAINMENTS present

DISCOS E V E R Y WEDNESDAY till l a m UNION LOUNGE

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* Guest real ales Felinfoel 'Double Dragon' F r i d a y 11th Monday-Sunday 14th-20th

The Cafe is open Monday to Friday 10.00am-3.30pm and 5.30pm-9.00pm offering a wide selection of freshly prepared food, a different home cooked choice each day, sandwiches, baps, burgers, pizzas, cakes and pastries as well as tea, coffee and soft drinks.

UNION & LOUNGE BARS The bars are open every day 12-2pm and 5.30-1 lpm and on Sunday from 12-2pm and 7-10.30pm, but look out for our many extensions this term. For instance every Friday we have an extension until lam. In the Lounge Bar we feature a wide selection of bottled beers, wines (check out our new wine list). Coffee and tea are always available and you can join in the fun at our many bar promotions this term or relax in the friendly atmsophere! The Union Bar features a good range of real ales and special guest ales each w e e k . Look out for Wadworths 6x, Thwaites, Boddingtons, Robinsons and many more! Traditional 'Pub Grub' is available from the bar including pies, pasties, ploughman's lunches. Visit our Lounge Bar or traditional Bar and make the most of our special offers and promotions this term.

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November F r i d a y 1st Friday 8th F r i d a y 15th M o n d a y 18th T u e s d a y 19th Friday 22nd F r i d a y 29th

Open Open Open Open

Disco a n d Bands Bands Rag Carnival Dirty Disco B a r Q u i z & Disco T e t l e y Bitter 9 0 p a pint all night R a g Party a n d Student Revue Disco a n d Bands

till till till till

lam lam 2am lam

O p e n till 2 a m O p e n till l a m

December 2nd

to 8th

Saturday 7th

F r i d a y 13th

EATING

Real Ale Promotion A different real ale cheaper each night H a p p y C h r i s t m a s f r o m the B a r Raffle d r a w — g e t a ticket each time y o u b u y o n e o f o u r special offers this t e r m . P r i z e s include a g a l l o n o f B e l l s S c o t c h , cases o f beer, glasses, t-shirts, bottles o f wine xxx pints only tonight, T e t l e y only 9 0 p tonight E n d o f term Christmas spectacular

&

O p e n till

SfBRS

12pm

O p e n till 2 a m

DRINKING

20p

vou d n e

• •

1 I S$ S$


Welfare At

some

College

stage

and not know

The answer

at the Welfare

could

Office

within

the Union

Quad.

As the Union's

I am available

Imperial

to give

on a number on housing

immigration

matters,

legal

matters,

loans,

NHS

disability

charges,

be is

Welfare

that can. The Welfare

Beit

can,

impartial

in some

student's

cases,

behalf

to the above,

racks

situated

benefits,

information.

Most

from

organisations

insurance,

the Poll

student Tax,

to consult

introductory

number

of issues:

goes

consumer

to

turn,

aid and immigration

the

that if I

outside

basic,

Welfare cannot

for personal

telephone

will

also

find

there

range

are

therein

will

Although

housing,

among

information

tax,

of the

in by

confidence. is

necessary,

prior

if you have

special

needs

these should

be discussed

with

me, as I

where

necessary.

can be flexible

legal

Imperial

You

Advisory

compiled

by

follows:

College Service

Union is usually

Welfare open as

such as

am

pm

11.00-1.00 10.30-1.00

2.00-6.30

Wednesday Thursday

closed 10.30-1.30

Friday

closed all day

Monday Tues-Fri

11.00-6.30

2.00-5.00 2.00-5.00 2.00-5.00

enquiries

...what the organised student needs! D u r a b l e f i l i n g products are n o w available f r o m the C o l l e g e prices.

10.30-5.30

Imperial College Union Bookstore stockists of

DURACLIP File and present your papers the easy way!

LINEX

N o hole p u n c h i n g required. S i m p l y pull the c l i p , insert the papers, and return the c l i p to secure.

be treated

can be seen

Monday Tuesday

callers

Welfare

arrangement

them.

on issues

DURAPLUS Present your project with style!

alfac

Insert a title sheet within the transparent pocket o n the front c o v e r , and neatly secure p u n c h e d papers inside. A n extra back pocket holds

supporting

literature.

DURABIND

DECASry

Permanently bind your papers securely and professionally! N o machines required. Just staple at the indicated points a n d fold the c o v e r s over to hide the staples.

Pop along to the Bookstore exciting

and innovative

filing

and

available

discussed

no appointment

students

provides

are

is independent

of

ona

magazine

the Union's

Service

reception

and

for these and many other ideas from

Durable.

THE LETTERING SYSTEM FOR PERFECT PRESENTATION

P r i n t e d b y I C U Print U n i t . T e l : 0 7 1 - 2 2 5

and

also

request.

and all matters

is

rights

Office

copies

college

information health,

housing

to 'Which?'

and back

Remember,

of the literature

Adviser

D U R A B L E

on

if

law, fees and awards,

the Welfare

(no appointment necessary)

B o o k s t o r e at competitive

a wide

list

where

on a

in the

rights, rights,

current

Advisory

In addition leaflet

students,

tax. The Welfare

subscribes

and

creditors,

area containing

tax,

overseas poll

also

service

negotiate

with

I

appropriate.

shown

and

Adviser

a debt counselling

You can

If you are not sure idea

someone

to refer

of issues.

finance...the

as it is likely

query

you to

be able

offers

Adviser,

the times

particular

may waiting in

Service

assist you with your

to situated

Office

consumer

rights,

it is a good

where

confidential

get advice

or

which

during

below

Office

at

well

General

advice

on.

time

you may need advice

information turn.

of your

Advisory

8672

http://www.felixonline.co.uk/archive/IC_1991/1991_0912_A  

http://www.felixonline.co.uk/archive/IC_1991/1991_0912_A.pdf

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