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Keep The Cat Free IC Union is supporting FELIX Editor Hugh Southey in an effort to disuade College administration from implementing plans to move the FELIX office. Mr Southey presented a paper detailing problems associated with the proposed move at a meeting with College Secretary John Smith and Union President Carl Burgess last Friday. A motion expressing support for Mr Southey's response to the College authorities was passed without objection at Monday's meeting of IC Union Council. M r B u r g e s s w a s first i n f o r m e d of t h e p l a n s f o r a F E L I X m o v e in a meeting with M r Smith and the R e c t o r t w o w e e k s a g o . M r S m i t h i n t e n d s to g i v e t h e B i o l o g y D e p a r t m e n t c o n t r o l of the p r e s e n t F E L I X O f f i c e a n d the B e i t H a l l T V L o u n g e . In a letter to M r B u r g e s s t h r e e d a y s after t h e m e e t i n g M r S m i t h s a i d that C o l l e g e w a s p l a n n i n g t o refurbish the derelict kitchen area behind the L o u n g e to provide new offices for F E L I X , a n d an additional d o u b l e r o o m a n d a new T V L o u n g e for Beit Hall. Before meeting M r Burgess and Mr Southey on F r i d a y , M r S m i t h a d m i t t e d that

Hugh

Southey

and J Martin

Taylor Alarmed

there w a s insufficent s p a c e a v a i l a b l e for all t h e s e n e e d s . M r S o u t h e y ' s paper listed several major difficulties a s s o c i a t e d w i t h t h e m o v e of t h e F E L I X office. Significant structual alterations w o u l d be n e e d e d t o t h e n o r t h s i d e of B e i t Q u a d in o r d e r t o m o v e a n d h o u s e the larger a n d m o r e d e l i c a t e p i e c e s of F E L I X e q u i p m e n t . In a d d i t i o n t h e r e w o u l d b e a great d e a l of w o r k r e q u i r e d in o r d e r to m a k e t h e derelict area suitable for the p r o d u c t i o n of F E L I X . M r S o u t h e y a l s o s t r e s s e d that t h e p o s i t i o n of t h e F E L I X o f f i c e w a s of p r i m e i m p o r t a n c e s i n c e s t u d e n t i n v o l v e m e n t w a s 'the

London Student Attacked A motion w h i c h w o u l d have closed L o n d o n Student, the L o n d o n - w i d e n e w s p a p e r for s t u d e n t s , w a s d e f e a t e d by o n l y t w o v o t e s at t h e m e e t i n g of t h e U n i v e r s i t y of L o n d o n G e n e r a l U n i o n C o u n c i l on T u e s d a y . IC U n i o n b u y s 2 5 0 c o p i e s of L o n d o n Student which are d i s t r i b u t e d free f r o m o u t s i d e t h e FELIX Office. The delegation from the L o n d o n S c h o o l of E c o n o m i c s , w h o p r o p o s e d the motion, c o m p l a i n e d that a n i s s u e last term headlined ' S c h o o l for Drugs' gave the false i m p r e s s i o n that L S E h a d a m a j o r d r u g s p r o b l e m a n d that h a r d a n d soft d r u g s w e r e f r e e l y a v a i l a b l e . T h e y s a i d that s i n c e the p u b l i c a t i o n of t h e a r t i c l e , L S E h a d received several visits by t h e D r u g s S q u a d . T h e L S E D e l e g a t i o n w a n t e d a front p a g e r i g h t - o f - r e p l y , a n d felt that if this w a s not f o r t h c o m i n g U L U should withhold funds from the Free!

p a p e r until t h e E d i t o r , M i s s J o a n n e T o c h , either resigned or f i n i s h e d h e r t e r m of o f f i c e . Miss T o c h had offered L S E a s p a c e f o r repl y but r e s e r v e d t h e right to d e c i d e w h e r e to print it. S h e a l s o p o i n t e d o u t that t h e p a p e r w a s for s t u d e n t s at London's Polytechnics and Further Education C o l l e g e s and that it w a s 'elitist' f o r U L U t o a t t e m p t to f o r c e its p o l i c y o n t o the paper. D u r i n g the meeting the L S E delegation were threatened with e x p u l s i o n for unruly behaviour. At o n e point the c h a i r p e r s o n , D u a n e P a s s m a n , walked out. Of the I C U delegation eight voted against the L S E motion and o n e abstained. After the meeting Miss J o a n n e T o c h said that a l t h o u g h s h e r e s e n t e d t h e a l l e g a t i o n s m a d e by L S E a b o u t her p r o f e s s i o n a l i s m m a d e by L S E s h e w a s still p r e p a r e d to print a repl y to ' S c h o o l f o r D r u g s ' in t h e next i s s u e . Friday 24 January

about

the

move

life b l o o d of a s t u d e n t n e w s p a p e r ' . H e felt that t o m o v e the o f f i c e to s u c h a r e m o t e p o s i t i o n w o u l d b e to t h e u n a v o i d a b l e d e t r i m e n t of F E L I X a n d e v e r y o n e in C o l l e g e . A f u r t h e r p r o b l e m w a s that t h e area available c o u l d not be u t i l i s e d s o a s to p r o v i d e adequate office space. Mr Southey's paper suggested that it w o u l d b e m o r e s e n s i b l e for t h e B i o l o g y D e p a r t m e n t to m a k e u s e of t h e k i t c h e n a r e a s for t h e o f f i c e s p a c e w h i c h t h e y required. Mr Smith was sympathetic towards M r S o u t h e y ' s c o m m e n t s , but felt that, if B i o l o g y t o o k o v e r t h e k i t c h e n a r e a , t h e y m i g h t at a future date attempt to gain c o n t r o l of m o r e of t h e n o r t h s i d e of B e i t h Q u a d . H e a g r e e d that t h e r e w o u l d b e s i g n i f i c c a n t p r o b l e m s if a m o v e of t h e F E L I X office were attempted, a n d said that h e w o u l d l o o k into t h e c o s t s i n v o l v e d in g r e a t e r d e t a i l . H e a d d e d that he w a s p r e p a r e d to put r e s o u r c e s into t h e d e v e l o p m e n t of t h e w e s t s t a i r c a s e of t h e U n i o n B u i l d i n g . W h e n C o u n c i l met o n M o n d a y there w a s s o m e s u p p o r t f o r a m o v e of t h e F E L I X office although M r S o u t h e y a n d FELIX Business Manager J Martin Taylor confirmed the i n a d e q u a c i e s of t h e s c h e m e s proposed. Deputy President Dave K i n g s t o n adhered to the v i e w that to m o v e t h e o f f i c e would strengthen the Union's p o s i t i o n by s e c u r i n g c o n t r o l of t h e w h o l e of t h e n o r t h s i d e of the U n i o n B u i l d i n g . C i v i l Engineering Dep Rep Victor F r e e n e y a r g u e d that it w a s unecessary to move the F E L I X o f f i c e a n d that t h e k i t c h e n a r e a s w o u l d be more s e n s i b l y used as offices for the B i o l o g y D e p a r t m e n t . H e d i d n o t feel that h a v i n g full U n i o n c o n t r o l of o n e s i d e of t h e Q u a d w o u l d p r e v e n t B i o l o g y from trying to takover U n i o n r o o m s in f u t u r e . Mr Burgess and M r Southey wil l b e m e e t i n g t h e C o l l e g e S e c r e t a r y later t o d a y to d i s c u s s the matter f u r t h e r . No 728


Union T h e r e s e e m s to be s o m e feeling a m o n g departments that a c a d e m i c n e e d s are more important than the w e l f a r e a n d s o c i a l n e e d s of students. Many C o l l e g e a d m i n i s t r a t o r s k n o w that the w e l f a r e a n d s o c i a l n e e d s of s t u d e n t s a r e as i m p o r t a n t as t h o s e of t h e departments. They know that if s i x t h f o r m e r s t h i n k that t h e C o l l e g e h a s n o c l u b s and societies etc, a p p l i c a t i o n s wil l d r o p . T h e departments, though, seem to be o n l y i n t e r e s t e d in e x p a n d i n g their research w o r k . I k n o w that t h e U G C c u t s h a v e m a d e it d i f f i c u l t for d e p a r t m e n t s . T h i s d o e s n ' t m e a n , t h o u g h , that t h e y s h o u l d try to t a k e student union resources. F o r e x a m p l e the F E L I X Office and Beit T V L o u n g e b e i n g a s k e d to m o v e . O n e of t h e t h i n g s that t h e y w a n t to d o with t h e a r e a is b u i l d a s e m i n a r r o o m . T h e r e is an e x c e s s of s e m i n a r r o o m s . D o e s it s e e m e x c e s s i v e for t h e C o l l e g e t o ask b i o l o g y s t u d e n t s to u s e s e m i n a r r o o m s in o t h e r departments? FELIX A s you can see from the letters p a g e t h e r e h a s b e e n a c e r t a i n a m o u n t of c r i t i c i s m of m y d e c i s i o n to publish the 'Strike F E L I X ' . I d e c i d e d that e d u c a t i o n c u t s are not a party p o l i t i c a l issue and s o c o u l d be covered as a feature. W h e n I c a m e to C o l l e g e a l m o s t 3 ' / y e a r s a g o it w a s o n l y 'lefties' w h o w e n t o n d e m o s and joined protests against education cuts. S i n c e then it s e e m s to m e that M r s Thatcher has united student u n i o n s against the c u t s . S e v e r a l of m y f r i e n d s vote C o n s e r v a t i v e . S i n c e t h e y c a m e to C o l l e g e t h e y h a v e d e c i d e d that t h e y must join protests against their p a r t y ' s e d u c a t i o n p o l i c i e s . T h i s is b e c a u s e t h e y s e e t h e h a r m that t h e s e p o l i c i e s a r e d o i n g to Britain's e c o n o m y . W h e n I w e n t to l o b b y M P s I d i s c o v e r e d that m a n y b a c k bench Conservative M P s o p p o s e the present Government's education policy (unfortunately, they haven't got t h e g u t s to o p p o s e it in t h e H o u s e ) . F o r this r e a s o n I d e c i d e d that the a r t i c l e o n c u t s w a s 2

a f e a t u r e , not a n o p i n i o n . I a m , t h o u g h , a great b e l i e v e r in t h e r i g h t of r e p l y , s o if J o h n M a r t i n or t h e Conservative Society would like to p r o d u c e t w o p a g e s ( a p p r o x 1700 w o r d s ) defending the Government's education p o l i c y , I'll print it. I f i n d it d i f f i c u l t to b e l i e v e its p o s s i b l e to d e f e n d t h e G o v e r n m e n t , but I'm p r e p a r e d to l i s t e n to M r Martin's arguments. W h i l e o n t h e s u b j e c t of articles for future F E L I X s , I'd like to c h a l l e n g e t h e p e o p l e w h o w r o t e to F E L I X last t e r m s a y i n g that F E L I X is b o r i n g , to w r i t e 4 0 0 w o r d s o n r h i n o ' s w i l l i e s (as p r o m i s e d ) s o that I c a n print it. G e n e r a l l y , I'm r u n n i n g out of i d e a s f o r f e a t u r e s s o if y o u h a v e a n y i d e a s for o p i n i o n s or features contact me and e i t h e r y o u or s o m e o n e e l s e c a n write the article. FELIX Office F E L I X is your n e w s p a p e r . T h i s is w h y I a m r e p l y i n g to r e c e n t c r i t i c i s m . If t h e p r o p o s e d m o v e of t h e F E L I X O f f i c e (as r e p o r t e d in F E L I X last w e e k a n d t h i s week) g o e s a h e a d , this may no longer be the case. F E L I X may b e c o m e the N e w s p a p e r of I m p e r i a l College Union Hacks. This is b e c a u s e t h e p r o p o s e d s i t e is out of t h e w a y . T h e p r e s e n t s i t e is p a s s e d by l a r g e n u m b e r s of s t u d e n t s . S t u d e n t s s e e F E L I X staff at work. T h e y k n o w w h e r e the o f f i c e is. T h i s m e a n s that feel t h e y c a n c o n t r i b u t e . A s t u d e n t n e w s p a p e r m u s t be in c o n t a c t w i t h s t u d e n t s . T h i s m e a n s that it m u s t b e in a p r o m i n e n t p o s i t i o n . Y o u ' r e l u c k y to h a v e o n e of t h e best s t u d e n t n e w s p a p e r s in t h e c o u n t r y . D e f e n d it by p r e v e n t i n g t h e m o v e ( c a m p a i g n d e t a i l s in a future FELIX). Editorial J o h n Martin has attacked my editorial c o m m e n t s on Nicaraguan coffee. He has, in m y v i e w e v e r y r i g h t to attack my views. H o w e v e r , h e h a s no r e a s o n to a t t a c k t h e fact that I e x p r e s s t h e m in t h e e d i t o r i a l . T h e e d i t o r i a l is m e a n t to be i n t e l l i g e n t c o m m e n t . It is m e a n t to be m y v i e w s . T h a t m e a n s that it is m e a n t to provoke thought. Hopefully, it wil l a l s o attract a

r e s p o n s e in t h e letters p a g e . T h e e d i t o r i a l is not m e a n t to be f a c t s that e v e r y s t u d e n t will a g r e e w i t h . It is m e a n t to p r o v o k e d e b a t e . Valentine's Day F E L I X is p l a n n i n g a Valentine's Day special. W e ' r e g o i n g to p r i n t t h e S m a l l A d s over a pink heart. If y o u w a n t to s e n d a m e s s a g e to the l o v e of y o u r life, t h e n d r o p t h e m into F E L I X by 1.30pm o n M o n d a y F e b r u a r y 10. If y o u have any ideas for f e a t u r e s in F E L I X in t h e Valentine's issue, contact m e in the O f f i c e . Credits It's b e e n a n o d d w e e k . T h a n k s to t h e f o l l o w i n g for p u t t i n g u p with m e a n d still c o n t r i b u t i n g to F E L I X : D a v e

J o n e s , J Martin Taylor, J i m C l a y d e n , S a r a h Kirk, Mark Cottle, Mark Hunter, Bill Goodwin, Richard Smith, Pete Hobbis, Richard Ellis, Rosemary Hosking, Rob Dwyer-Joyce, Kamala Sen, Jane Spiegel, Chris Stapleton, Nige Atkinson, A a r o n Kotcheff (Sorry I f o r g o t to a d d to y o u r article), C h r i s E d w a r d s . C h r i s D o d g e , Pete W i l s o n Alan Rose, Pete Klemperer, Mike Stone, Gaynor Whyles, Jelly, Dave Kingston, Nick Shackley, Andy Vickers, Eugene Zhog and Sunny Bains. Megabrain T h e a n s w e r to last w e e k s p r o b l e m a n d t h e w i n n e r wil l b e p u b l i s h e d in the next FELIX.

F E L I X is p u b l i s h e d by the E d i t o r for a n d o n behalf of Imperial C o l l e g e U n i o n P u b l i c a t i o n s B o a r d a n d is printed by Fourth A v e n u e , 4 F a r n h a m R o y a l , K e n n i n g t o n . T e l e p h o n e 735 6437. E d i t o r H u g h S o u t h e y ; B u s i n e s s M a n a g e r J Martin T a y l o r ; C o p y r i g h t F E L I X 1986. I S S N 10400711

Bouncers Go Bananas Dear Mr Southey I w i s h to i n f o r m all t h e r e a d e r s of t h i s n e w s p a p e r of a p a r t i c u l a r l y u n p l e a s a n t experience w h i c h I had r e c e n t l y , in t h e h o p e that it wil l not h a p p e n to t h e m . L a s t M o n d a y I w e n t to the d i s c o t h e q u e ' B a n a n a s ' in W a r d o u r S t . W l , to attend the m u c h p u b l i c i s e d 'Krazy Tie and L o o n y S u n g l a s s e s ' party. W h e n I g o t t h e r e , I w a s t o l d by o n e of t h e ' b o u n c e r s ' that he w o u l d not a l l o w m e in. It w a s not b e c a u s e of m y d r e s s , as I w a s w e a r i n g a d e c e n t j a c k e t a n d tie, a n d I w a s c e r t a i n l y not d r u n k . W h e n I a s k e d h i m w h y he w o u l d not let m e in, his immediate answer was 'because you're a f-cking cnt', s a i d in t h o s e w o r d s . H e and the other 'bouncer' t h e n p r o c e e d e d to s p i t o n me. T o d a y I rang the m a n a g e r of t h e night c l u b , a n d he s t o o d by his bouncers' actions one h u n d r e d p e r cent. H e t o l d m e that, h a d h e b e e n in t h e i r s h o e s , he w o u l d h a v e d o n e exactly the same. H e f i n i s h e d by s a y i n g he h a d better t h i n g s to d o t h a n talk to me. I a m not o b j e c t i n g to t h e fact that I w a s d e n i e d e n t r y in s p i t e of t h e r e b e i n g n o a p p a r e n t r e a s o n to d o s o ,

Friday 24 January

e v e r y night c l u b h a s a n d s h o u l d have the right to refuse a d m i s s i o n . I do, h o w e v e r , o b j e c t to b e i n g s p a t o n a n d i n s u l t e d in t h e m a n n e r w h i c h I h a v e just described. I see no reason w h y p e o p l e l i k e m y s e l f or i n d e e d a n y r e a d e r of t h i s n e w s p a p e r s h o u l d be h u m i l i a t e d in t h i s w a y f o r no apparent reason, s o I w o u l d a s k a n d a d v i s e all t h e s t u d e n t s of I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e not to visit t h i s night club..the s a m e or worse things may happen to t h e m . Yours sincerely, Alastair Seymour Elec Eng 1.

Party Political FELIX Dear Sir, I w r i t e to e x p r e s s m y a n g e r a n d d i s a p p o i n t m e n t at t h e w a y in w h i c h u n d e r y o u r editorship the N e w s p a p e r of I C U h a s d e g r a d e d into a Party Political publication. I d o not o b j e c t to y o u r reporting current political e v e n t s w h i c h affect s t u d e n t s , but feel s t r o n g l y that t h e c o v e r a g e g i v e n to, for e x a m p l e , t h e r e c e n t A U T strike has been excessive and biased, and I b e l i e v e , j u d g i n g by y o u r editorial remarks, tainted by y o u r o w n p o l i t i c s . T h i s in itself w o u l d not be a c o m p l a i n t if y o u h a d d e c l a r e d y o u r i n t e n t i o n s in t h e e l e c t i o n m a n i f e s t o last year. Instead, y o u p r o m i s e e to relieve u s f r o m t h e b o r e d o m of last y e a r ' s FELIX


F E L I X . I w o u l d a l s o like t o r e m i n d y o u of y o u r c r i t i c i s m of M r R o w e ' s e f f o r t s . ' F E L I X hasn't b e e n lively a n d i n n o v a t i v e , ' ' T h i s year FELIX has reported on boring news. 1

Y o u r last t h r e e i s s u e s incorporate anti- government p r o p a g a n d a in a r t i c l e s c o v e r i n g n i n e t y p e r c e n t of t h e front a n d b a c k c o v e r s . Y o u d o not, h o w e v e r g i v e a n y m e n t i o n of t h e s t r u g g l e at K i n g s C o l l e g e to r e m a i n outside the N U S c l o s e d s h o p union, with w h i c h c a u s e m a n y s t u d e n t s , at I m p e r i a l h a v e great sympathy. Neither do y o u resist t h e c h a n c e to quash any moderate opinion which does appear w i t h y o u r o w n , often unjustifiable comment. H e r e I refer p a r t i c u l a r l y t o your comments on N i c a r a g u a n c o f f e e : 'It m a y not m a k e c o m m e r c i a l s e n s e but if y o u w a n t a c o m m e r c i a l m e a l y o u g o to Macdonalds. Dave Kingston s h o u l d not h a v e o p p o s e d the motion'. O b v i o u s l y y o u r o p i n i o n is that e v e r y m o r s e l w e eat m u s t b e o n o u r behalf, a p o l i t i c a l statement. A s a sabbatical M r K i n g s t o n h a s a d u t y to r e p r e s e n t s t u d e n t s like m y s e l f , w h i c h he d i d , in a w a y in w h i c h he t h o u g h t fit. C o m e o n H u g h , t o e the line a n d k e e p y o u r promises. B e controversial, but fair a n d get t h e o t h e r half of t h e s t o r y t h e n , as b e f o r e , y o u ' l l get m y v o t e and support. Yours faithfully, John Martin.

Born Again...

Dear Hugh I t h o u g h t that this w e e k ' s centre pages on the faces of C h r i s t i a n i t y w e r e v e r y interesting. T h e opening lines e x p r e s s e d s o m e c o m m o n c r i t i c i s m s of C h r i s t i a n i t y that a r e u s u a l l y v o i c e d by n o n - r e l i g i o u s people. T h e article clearly s h o w e d there are many t y p e s of C h r i s t i a n s , b u t I s h o u l d like t o s a y that t h e r e a r e m a n y t y p e s of n o n religious people as well, a n d n o t all a r e a s antagonistic towards Christians as the opening comments suggest. Certainly, there are p e o p l e w h o often attack Christians, trying to s h o w t h e i r c r e e d as a f r a u d , a n d FELIX

s c r u t i n i s i n g t h e B i b l e to try a n d d i s c r e d i t it. A s a n alternative s u c h peopl e u s u a l l y offer s c i e n c e a n d l o g i c , but I w o u l d v e n t u r e to s u g g e s t that s u c h p e o p l e are more n a r r o w - m i n d e d than Christians. T h e r e are few things w h i c h c a n n o t be e x p l a i n e d l o g i c a l l y but s u c h p e o p l e are, in m y opinion, taking current scientific thought as gospel, and see Christianity as a threat to t h e i r o w n religion. T h e s e are the p e o p l e w h o treat l e c t u r e n o t e s as i n f a l l i b l e documents. A l s o , there are c y n i c a l sceptics w h o seem unable to b e l i e v e in a n y t h i n g , possibly because they d o not b e l i e v e in t h e m s e l v e s . S u c h p e o p l e are often d e p r e s s e d , a n d attack religion because they are j e a l o u s of t h e h a p p i n e s s a n d c o n t e n t m e n t that religious people have, a n d they are the most insecure. However, there are n o n religious people w h o are not d i s m i s s i v e a b o u t religion. I am always i n t e r e s t e d in w h a t r e l i g i o u s p e o p l e b e l i e v e , not a s a j o k e o r a c u r i o s i t y , but b e c a u s e I t h i n k that t h e r e isn't one t r u e a n d right w a y to live y o u r life, a n d that b y l i s t e n i n g to e v e r y o n e around you, you'll e n d up m o v i n g in a p p r o x i m a t e l y the right d i r e c t i o n . A Buddist said on television that m o s t p e o p l e s e e life a s a long and narrow road, f r o m w h i c h a n y d e v i a t i o n is w r o n g , but that h e s a w it a s a circle, with many possible w a y s of r e a c h i n g t h e c e n t r e . A l t h o u g h I'm not a Buddist, I remember thinking how much I a g r e e d w i t h that part of what he said. Richard G Fincher Chem 1

reappears-l think we shall h a v e t o a g r e e t o differ a s n e i t h e r of u s is i m m o r a l y e t we a l w a y s reach different c o n c l u s i o n s . I still b e l i e v e w a t c h i n g this event for 2 hours a year, c a n no way dominate our behaviour for the other 8758. It w a s s a i d t h a t ' H o n Porn...degrades and humiliates men and w o m e n , portraying them as objects to be used a n d a b u s e d ' . T h i s is a v e r y l o w o p i n i o n of m a n k i n d - i f either party don't want sex, then that's w h e r e t h e y u s e t h e word 'No'. Y e t a g a i n , t h e c r i t i c s try to r i d i c u l e a n d h u m i l i a t e s u p p o r t e r s of t h e event. I'd like to t u r n M r H a r m a n ' s point around-l w a s not t r y i n g to p o r t r a y o p p o n e n t s as ' s e l f - r i g h t e o u s p u r i s t s ' , but r a t h e r c o n d e m n t h e p o r t r a i t of s u p p o r t e r s a s dirty p e r v e r t s . R e s p e c t o u r o p i n i o n as w e respect yours. L e t ' s t a k e a different view, s u p p o s i n g H o n P o r n ' s Night w a s banned, what w i l l it a c h i e v e ? W i l l t h e sexist, chauvinist attitudes at I C d i s a p p e a r ? O r e v e n d i m i n i s h ? I t h i n k not, i n f r e q u e n t p o r n o g r a p h y is not t h e p r o b l e m .

A l w a y s o u r critics want to b a n t h e event. T h i s is a n e g a t i v e attitude, c h a n g i n g n o t h i n g . If t h e y w a n t to s e e s e x i s m at I C e r a d i c a t e d , try positive solutions, getting to t h e r o o t of t h e p r o b l e m . I'm s u r e a lot of y o u wil l s a y 'fine w o r d s , w h e r e ' s t h e beef?'. Last year R S M U m a d e a p o i n t of h o l d i n g all p a r t i e s first w i t h o n e o r t w o female colleges. At some parties the w o m e n outnumbered the men. This year, R S M U h a s initiated a L a d i e s S p o r t s t e a m for t h o s e w h o w a n t to p l a y f o r their C C U . B o t h these d e c i s i o n s a r e a i m e d at removing the sexual pressure resulting from IC's p o o r ratio, a n d encouraging social i n t e r c o u r s e f r o m a b a s e of equality. Finally, M r P r e e c e asked ' w h y R S M U h a s to p l a c e s u c h i m p o r t a n c e o n this event'. W e d o n ' t but w e d o believe p e o p l e have the right to c h o s e if t h e y w a n t to s e e it o r not. / remain yours etc David Pearce

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0 Dear Sir F i r s t , I a p o l o g i s e to t h o s e w h o f o u n d it illiterate a n d 'non-sensical'-next time I shall tone d o w n m y article to a v o i d i n f l a m i n g t h e F E L I X typists a n d s o h o p e f u l l y their f i n g e r s wil l not s l i p s o m u c h . B a c k to t h e r e p l i e s : A s a p o i n t of i n f o r m a t i o n n o n e of o u r f i l m s p o r t r a y v i o l e n c e , a n d e s p e c i a l l y not rape. T h e q u e s t i o n of m o r a l s

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U L U T r a v e l , Imperial C o l l e g e , S h e r f i e l d B u i l d i n g, Prince C o n s o r t R o a d , London S W 7 . Tel: 0 1 - 5 8 1

Friday 24 January

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L o n d o n University General U n i o n C o u n c i l have passed a motion asking G U C F i n a n c e C o m m i t t e e to c o n s i d e r the f i n a n c i a l i m p l i c a t i o n s of r e f u s i n g to accept Barclay's Bank c h e q u e s at U L U b e c a u s e of Barclay's links with S o u t h A f r i c a . If t h e m o v e g o e s through students will n o l o n g e r b e a b l e to u s e Barclay's c h e q u e s for r oo m b o o k i n g s o r in t h e U L U shop, bar or cafe. T h e o p t i c i a n s a n d t h e travel a g e n c y a r e not m a n a g e d b y U L U a n d s o will b e unaffected.

h d The proposed change-over of t h e J C R a n d t h e S h e r f i e l d r e f e c t o r y is l i k e l y to b e d e l a y e d b e c a u s e of a s h o r t a g e of m o n e y . In a letter to U n i o n P r e s i d e n t Carl Burgess, College Secretary J o h n Smith s t a t e d that t h e r e i s ' n o w a y in w h i c h t h e C o l l e g e c a n f i n d t h e c a s h r e q u i r e d to undertake t h e full p r o g r a m m e in a s i n g l e year'. It is n o w p r o p o s e d that t h e w o r k s h o u l d b e carried out over a three y e a r p e r i o d . T h i s y e a r all the w o r k o n t h e k i t c h e n s , fast f o o d s e r v i c e , w i n d o w s in t h e J C R , a n d refurnishing the S C R s h o u l d b e c o m p l e t e d . 1987 should see the completion of t h e f o o d hall o n level 2 a n d t h e c o n v e r s i o n of t h e ground floor to the J C R , l e a v i n g a l t e r a t i o n s to t h e S C R to b e c o m p l e t e d in 1988.

t s Education Secretary Sir Keith J o s e p h has produced p r o p o s a l s that, if a d o p t e d , would give universities the p o w e r to d i s m i s s a c a d e m i c staff a p p o i n t e d t o n e w p o s t s b e c a u s e of redundancy, or for financial reasons'. T h e A s s o c i a t i o n of U n i v e r s i t y Teachers and the C o m m i t t e e of V i c e C h a n c e l l o r s have been a s k e d f o r their v i e w s o n the proposals. 4

A team from Imperial C o l l e g e h a s w o n a p l a c e in the w o r l d f i n a l s of t h e A s s o c i a t i o n of C o m p u t i n g Machinery students programming contest, to be h e l d in C i n c i n n a t i , O h i o o n F e b r u a r y 5. T h e ' S o l v e a n d P r o s p e r ' t e a m , m a d e u p of postgraduates Kevin O ' C o n n o r , Barry Sherlock, Peter Ruffhead a n d Henry Y o n g f o u g h t off c o m p e t i t o n

programming competition at B r i t i s h A e r o s p a c e ' s Preston works. S i n c e they have perfected a 'secret s t r a t e g y ' a n d feel ' r e a s o n a b l y c o n f i d e n t ' of their c h a n c e s in this y e a r ' s competition. T h e y have written several hundred letters in o r d e r to r a i s e t h e n e c e s s a r y ÂŁ5000 s p o n s o r s h i p f o r t h e trip.

from Switzerland, Belgium, Finland, France and West G e r m a n y in t h e E u r o p e a n f i n a l s in N o v e m b e r w h e n they completed four p r o b l e m s in five h o u r s . Mr O'Connor and M r S h e r l o c k w e r e part of t h e team w h i c h c a m e eleventh in last y e a r ' s w o r l d f i n a l . T h e p r e s e n t t e a m first g o t t o g e t h e r in M a y w h e n t h e y entered and w o n a

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National Student, the N U S publication, has published t h e r e s u l t s of its p o l l o n 'the m o s t f a b p e o p l e a n d things'. K e n Livingstone c a m e s e c o n d in t h e Favourite Politician c a t e g o r y , b e i n g p i p p e d at the p o s t b y t h e i n f a m o u s ' n o n e — t h e y ' r e all n o g o o d ' . T o p of t h e p o p s o f ' l e a s t liked politician' c a m e Margaret Thatcher (shock, horror, surprise). Most fab t h i n g o r p e r s o n in t h e whole world has such a m i x t u r e that it is w o r t h l i s t i n g t h e w h o l e lot: (1) M y boyfriend/girlfriend/ m u m / d a d e t c (what's t h e e t c ? ) (2) B o b G e l d o f (3) N e l s o n M a n d e l a (4) M o t h e r T h e r e s a (5) S a m F o x (6) I n d i a n F o o d (7) N a t u r e e t c (?!) (8) R y a n O ' N e a l (9) S e x (10) B r u c e S p r i n g s t e e n T h e favourite g r o u p or r e c o r d i n g artiste t a b l e s h o w s s t u d e n t s to b e r e m a r k a b l y c o n s e r v a t i v e in their m u s i c a l t a s t e s , consisting nearly e x c l u s i v e l y of b a n d s f r o m the 7 0 s a n d rock g r o u p s of the 80s. Whatever h a p p e n e d to N e w W a v e ? Reflecting high intellectual standards, the B e a n o c a m e 6 t h in f a v o u r i t e r e a d i n g matter. Something called Kerrang! a l s o r e c e i v e d a m e n t i o n . It s e e m s that s t u d e n t s a r e q u i t e a p r e d i c t a b l e lot.

Mr Alf Daniels, the s u p e r i n t e n d e n t of t h e m a l e c l e a n e r s , is r e t i r i n g at t h e e n d of t h e m o n t h . H e h a s w o r k e d for I C for thirty y e a r s a n d in t h e past h e has run boxing classes for students. Mr Daniels told F E L I X that h e w o u l d m i s s Imperial C o l l e g e , but w a s h o p i n g t o g e t h i s golf h a n d i c a p d o w n n o w that h e will have more spare time. H e a n d his wife are planing to m o v e o u t of L o n d o n t o the c o u n t r y , but ' c a n n o t

Friday 24 January

m a k e up their m i n d s w h e r e to'. Mr G e o r g e Targett, w h o has k n o w n h i m for 26 years, said that M r D a n i e l s had always been an easy person to work with a n d h a d g i v e n a lot of t h o u g h t to s t u d e n t s ' n e e d s . H e a d d e d that M r D a n i e l s w o u l d be sorely m i s s e d . T h e r e is to be a farewell presentation for M r Daniels nex t W e d n e s d a y . F E L I X w o u l d like to w i s h h i m w e l l for his retirement.

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e y t FELIX


Below the Belt W h e n e v e r I start w r i t i n g this c o l u m n , I m o m e n t a r i l y p u t m y p e n d o w n in d i s g u s t . W h o a m I to s a y nasty things about p e o p l e ? W h o a m I to c o r r u p t t h e m i n d s of t h e i n n o c e n t w i t h m y t a l e s of t h e w a n t o n b e h a v i o u r of t h e i m m o r a l few. L u c k i l y this s e i z u r e never lasts very l o n g . . . I very q u i c k l y r e m e m b e r w h y it is s o i m p o r t a n t . B i t c h i n g is a l m o s t a s g o o d a s f o o d and men! So, here we go folks..but r e m e m b e r , y o u m u s t n ' t try a n y of t h i s at h o m e . F i r s t l y , h e r e is a s t o r y that i l l u s t r a t e s w h a t I've a l w a y s as said - y o u can't

l H P S ANNOUNCEMENTS •Stocksoc for all t h o s e interested or w h o s i g n e d their n a m e s , meet a b o v e S t a n s M o n d a y , 12.30pm. • S o , this is the estate of O p s o c , w h a t ? Y e s , O p s o c presents P r i n c e s s I DA by G & S , 18-22 F r e b r u a r y , in the Union Concert Hall. •Hall Soccer w e are h o p i n g to o r g a n i s e an inter-hall football c o m p e t i t i o n . Will c a p t a i n s of prospective teams contact S Dunkley P h y s i c s 3 v ia the letter r a c k s . • H o c k e y F r o m this S a t u r d a y all h o c k e y is back to n o r m a l , w e still need a g g r e s s i v e players. H o c k e y A n n u a l D i n n e r is on S a t 15 M a r c h , s o y o u better start training n o w . •Vacancy position of great p o w e r c o n t r o l the destiny of major nations. A p p l i c a t i o n s s h o u l d if p o s s i b l e , bear a p a s s i n g r e s s e m b l e n c e to A d o l f Hitler, M u s s o l i n i o r E m p H i r o h i t o . R e f e r e n c e s will be required (those from d e p o s e d e x - p a t r o n s are not a c c e p t a b l e ) . A p p l i c a t i o n s to IC W a r g a m e s C l u b . Note: S e c o n d Y e a r C h e m i c a l E n g i n e e r s need not a p p l y . • F o r Hire f a b u l o u s m e g a - d i s c o with h u n d r e d s of y o u r favourite r e c o r d s a n d an expert talented D J . Y o u r s for only £35 per night. C o n t a c t : D W a l l a c e - W a r d e n , Willis J a c k s o n House. • K e e p Fit Club A n n u a l D i n n e r is at L U B A S Restaurant, K n i g h t s b r i d g e o n Friday 7 F e b r u a r y . C o n t a c t C a r o l y n D y s o n ( P h y s i c s 2) or a n y of the C o m m i t t e e for details. •A-Level Electronics tutor r e q u i r e d by private l o c a l tutoring c o l l e g e . U p to six h o u r s per week. £8 per hour. T h i s is m o n e y for o l d rope e s p e c i a l l y if y o u ' r e E l e c E n g . If interested please contact L y n t o n A p p e l E l e c E n g P G for details. • R h o n e wine t a s t i n g T u e s d a y 6.00pm S C R (Beit) £2.50 m e m b e r s £3.00 n o n - m e m b e r s . C h a t e a u neul de pape, H e r m i t a g e etc there'll be a m p l e of these big butch reds a n d w i n s o m e white to s a m p l e . A t a price y o u c a n afford. • S o m o alia tasta m u c h o S a m p l o di vino R h o n o . B e l l a C h a t e a u - n o v e di p a p a , santa g i u s e p p e , la h e r m i t a g o . C o n f u s o ? C o m e to T u e s d a y ' s tasting, all will be revealed 6.00, P i a z z a u s u a l , S C R £2.50, 5,0001. FELIX

seduce a drunken man! A w e l l k n o w n c h e m i s t t r i e d to have her w i c k e d w a y with a certain sporty m a t h e m a t i c i a n . . . in t h e m i d d l e of a party... w h i l e h e w a s d r u n k . N e e d l e s s to s a y all s h e g o t o u t of h i m w a s a pathetic droop and profuse apologies. Men! Field Marshall Roger P r e e c e h a s a lot to a n s w e r f o r in t h i s r e s p e c t . W h a t a s h o c k it w a s to h e a r h i m advertising the Field C u p ( c o n s i s t i n g of l o t s of boorish young men running a r o u n d Beit Q u a d , d e s t r o y i n g it as w e l l a n d a s q u i c k l y as they c a n , and k i l l i n g off t h e i r b r a i n c e l l s , w i t h l o t s of l o v e l y e t h a n o l ) . S u r e l y t h i s is n o t t h e k i n d of ' a c t i o n ' that t h e g i r l s of I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e w a n t to s e e ! T h e f o l l o w i n g d a y all the pretty o n e s will be absolutely useless (including Golden B o y

Preece himself). S o m e p e o p l e have no consideration. Ben 'mini-vamp' Sidle w a s o u t c o l d in t h e P h y s i c s W a v e g u i d e last F r i d a y afternoon... again alcohol w a s to b l a m e ( o h , t h e h o r r o r s of t h e evil d r i n k ) . H e , of c o u r s e , r e m e m b e r s n o t h i n g of t h i s , n e i t h e r d o e s he r e m e m b e r anything about the personage who was placed o n t o p of h i m (but t h e n h e d i d s e e m a little u n r e s p o n s i v e at t h e t i m e ) . Former superwimp J Martin T a y l o r s e e m s to h a v e b e e n l o o k i n g r a t h e r t r e n d y of late. T h i s m a y (or m a y not) h a v e s o m e t h i n g to d o w i t h t h e fact that h e s e e m s to have been missing from both his department a n d the F E L I X office preferring t h e h o m e c o m f o r t s of W e e k s Hall (residence c o i n c i d e n t a l l y , of c o u r s e -

of S u n n y 'ain't I l o u d ' B a i n s . R u m o u r h a s it that they will be t r y i n g out t o g e t h e r for t h e n e w T V show 'Dreary and Makenoise.' Lastly, a s e a f a r i n g tale about Jolly Roger, captain of t h e H o l b e i n H o u s e b o o z e c r u i s e , a n d his trip to F r a n c e . T h r e e m e n e n d e d u p h a v i n g to h o l d h i m d o w n after t o o m u c h of t h e f e r r y ' s fire w a t e r c a u s e d h i m to t h r o w a fit. L u c k i l y no plank-walking was c a l l e d f o r , but a s far a s I c a n s e e h e ' s still n o n e t o o p o p u l a r a m o n g the shipmates. W e l l , l o t s of l o v e kids...and remember: n o t h i n g is m o r e b o r i n g t h a n a wet J a n u a r y afternoon.

by Felicity the Catty

ACCOMMODATION • S i n g l e room i m m e d i a t e l y a v a i l a b l e in flat in S t r e a t h a m . Rent £130 per m o n t h . N o rent to p a y until 14 F e b r u a r y . G a s central heating. C o n t a c t R u f u s Short, E l e c E n g U G Pigeon Holes.

PERSONAL •Christine-had a n y g o o d tips lately? • F-Double figures are pretty c o o l - J • T h e cards are p a c k e d with f u n . T h e p l a y i n g c a r d s are after y o u . O h n o , not NIGEL

• T o let s i n g l e r o o m in well e q u i p p e d flat for 4, 2 minutes from C o l l e g e , £35 C o n t a c t A Q u r b a n P h y s i c s ( U G ) . •Anybody interested in m a k i n g a flat s h a r e g r o u p for 4 p e r s o n s ? T w o m o r e b u d d i e s r e q u i r e d . If interested, please contact Lynton Appel E E P G .

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FOR S A L E • B B C B Micro with w o r d w i s e r o m £250 o n o . C o n t a c t C l i v e S t a n d l e y R o o m 1012 P h y s i c s T e l 6679. • 4 c h stereo mixer with M I C / L I N E p a n n e d inputs b a t t e r y / m a i n s £60 o n o . B&W Oboe w o r k i n g order, c a s e a n d reeds £180 o n o . C o n t a c t R G F i n c h e r . C h e m 1. •Reel-to-reel tape deck, S o n y 4track, r e c e n t l y s e r v i c e d in e x c e l l e n t c o n d i t i o n . £300 o n o . M a r t i n S T a y l o r int 4996. •Electric piano with bass a n d h a r p s i c h o r d effect. Ideal for flats for r o o m in hall too s m a l l for a real piano. £250 o n o Martin S T a y l o r 4996 •Pianola driven by p e d a l - d r i v e n p u m p . Full w o r k i n g order, c a n a l s o be u s e d a s a n o r d i n a r y piano . £500 M a r t i n S T a y l o r in 4996.

SERVICING & REPAIRS

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•Is Kath in 211 safe from Dave's muscles? • A Chilli up the bottom is w o r t h t w o in the h a n d . • B e a bottomberp-stick a chilli u p y o u r b u m today. •Winter routes d o need ice to qualify, J J therefore m i n u s IV points. • N e w routes: B i g E y e s , V S , (A W i l l i a m s , S o l o ) s m a l l s t o m a c h E 3 (D Idenden, u n s e c o n d e d ) . B i g G u t , V D , (M D i x o n , t o p roped) . M i x e d G r i l l E 6 , 6 b (A W i l l i a m s - f r i g g e d ) . • J o i n the all new b r e a k - a w a y C o w b o y c a v i n g c l u b . G e t the beers in a n d if there is time d e s c e n d the most a r d o u s of r o u t e s - S o u t h K e n s i n g t o n S u b w a y . If interested contact S i m o n Seward C h e m E n g 3 for Inaugural S e s s . •Attention all Willy-watchers! J o i n W i l l s o c - c o n t a c t the m a n with the small one Simon Seawed C h e m E n g 3. • H o w was it that y o u c o m e to b e wearing xx's underpants, S i m o n Seaweed? • H i , I'm D a n - F l o b b a l o b a l o b . •Skydivers d o 0-60 in 3.4 s e c o n d s . •ICe-Reincarnate at the Igloo c l u b (the l o u n g e s u c k s ) . F r i d a y 25 care of y o u r l o v i n g ents. Melt the h o u s e down xxx.

RICKY'S GARAGE (Personal service guaranteed )

I* QUEENS GATE PLACE HEWS. SOUTH KENSNGTON. LONDON SWT Tat0l-Sai ISM

• P i c o c o n 4 c o m i n g s o o n to save the world. • P i c o c o n 4 will a n y t h i n g ever by t h e same. • P i c o c o n 4 featuring D a v e L a n g f o r d .

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E N D S L E I G H S E R V I C E S

I N S U R A N C E LIMITED

71 O l d B r o m p t o n R o a d South Kensington London SW7 3JS Telephone 01-589 6783

Friday 24 January

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• P i c o c o n 4 no o n e is safe. • P i c o c o n 4 the night nobody comes home. • S e x Survey 5 0 % of the 152 s l e e p with sisters, 2 5 % with little girls a n d 2 5 % with little Dave. •Heading for H u g h e s P a r r y . •Asiatic haters-join IC W a r g a m e s c l u b - t h e infiltration is u n d e r w a y . • S e c o n d Front in M a r c h 1942-what next. • D i e p p e raid a s u c c e s s a s G e r m a n s capitulate. • C h e m Eng 2-Wot, no G a r r i s o n ? H a Ha! •I get by..., I get high..., I'm g o n n a try (for J o a n n e ) . . . l a i n . •Carlene 1 D a n i e l 0. •What are y o u d o i n g next S u n d a y Maria? •Willis Jackson S e x S h o p - e x p e r t s in every field, A d u l t literature, D a v e T a n d T o n y H, g e n t l e m e n ' visual entetainment, T o n y B, A p p l i a n c e s , Dave T and Paul G . All enquiries welcome! • B l a h , blah, blah,..Do...blah blah blah bhal. • H J S y o u are driving m e b a c k w a r d s but h o w about a n o t h e r 2 i n c h e s . Iwed. •Announcement Cindergogerella will g o to the ball he h o p e s the rash g o e s down. Aunty advises see a physio. •Adolf I'm sorry, k i s s e s from P i s s h e a d w h e n w a s the party Paterson. •Calling all C B lovers-don't forget your muscley mountaineer. •If you knew what Wilf k n o w s y o u w o u l d n t even c o n s i d e r w e a r i n g Wellington boots. •Charlie's Diplomatic removal s e r v i c e s s p e c i a l i t y - n u m b e r plates c o m p e t i t i v e rates. E n q u i r e G a r d e n Hall •Cinderella can't g o to the ball, but she has already f o u n d her P r i n c e Charming. • S h o u l d I bring my red wellies a n d join y o u in t h e s h o w e r ? •What doesn't fit? R o d g e r after h e ' s p a s s e d out. • F a n c y a glass of wine, Rodger? No thanks, I'll have the bottle. • T o n y , y o u will be h e a r i n g from m y Solicitor-Maria • G o o s e and screwdriver l e a d s to free breakfast, but w h o f r o m C h a r l e s ? •Don't risk your licence. P l a y safe! •Bulgarian Secret Service invite their true love to a s c r e w d r i v e r party? •Watch out C o l i n - M & T seek revenge.


the lives of m a s s e s of p e o p l e ; if y o u d e s i g n a more efficient m a c h i n e that o f f e r s ever m o r e l u x u r y , p e o p l e - b e i n g ultimately l a z y - w i l l b u y it. S c i e n c e a n d T e c h n o l o g y is t h e b a s i s of y o u r w h o l e s o c i e t y . B u t this d o e s n ' t m e a n it's the o n l y t h i n g w o r t h studying, money should h a v e n o t h i n g to d o w i t h e d u c a t i o n . T h e f r e e d o m of o p p o r t u n i t y for a w i d e v a r i e t y of c o u r s e s for everyone willing and intellectually able to d o s h o u l d be d e f e n d e d as a p o l i t i c a l right. It is h i g h l y r e g r e t t a b l e that t h e w o r d 'politics' s h o u l d every be m e n t i o n e d in an

e d u c a t i o n a l c o n t e x t , but t h i s is n o o r d i n a r y s i t u a t i o n . Y o u m a y be u n d e r the blissful d e l u s i o n that t h e G o v e r n m e n t h a s less m o n e y to s p e n d and that w e m u s t all w o r k t o g e t h e r to p u l l t h r o u g h t h e 'World E c o n o m i c R e c e s s i o n ' as a n a t i o n . T h i s is r u b b i s h , o u r c o u n t r y is g e t t i n g r i c h e r all t h e t i m e c o n t i n u a l l y t h e a m o u n t of m o n e y a v a i l a b l e for t h e G o v e r n m e n t to invest is i n c r e a s i n g . It just s e e m s l e s s b e c a u s e it is b i a s e d into a s m a l l e r a n d s m a l l e r s e c t i o n of s o c i e t y , b u s i n e s s and companies, people w h o w o r k h a r d to m a k e m o r e m o n e y out of m o n e y t h e rest of us d o n ' t get to s e e it! T h i s is part of t h e m e a n i n g of t h e w o r d 'conservatism'. They spend it o n h e l p i n g p e o p l e to set up their o w n c o m p a n i e s a n d t a k e it f r o m t h o s e w h o h a v e no j o b s , b i a s i n g the money continuously towards those who already h a v e it. If y o u s u p p o r t t h e p o i n t of v i e w that this is u n f a i r a n d s h o u l d be r e s i s t e d , t h e n y o u (and I) s h o u l d support the A U T . Y o u m a y a s k 'but h o w d o e s their d a y of a c t i o n affect the g o v e r n m e n t ? ' T h e a n s w e r to this is s i m p l e . It g e t s p u b l i c i t y , w h i c h is l i a b l e to l o s e v o t e s for t h e m , a n d that is all they're worried about. Pete Klemperer RCSAAO

not b e e n r e p a i r e d or r e p l a c e d a n d t h e r e is a l s o only one functional shower, between over one hundred r e s i d e n t s , w i t h hot w a t e r - a l l t h e rest are l e a k y , u n f i n i s h e d or h a v e v e r y e r r a t i c hot w a t e r s u p p l i e s all t h e s e d e f e c t s have b e e n r e p o r t e d by w a r d e n s to Peter Hallworth.

i n t e n s i v e p r o g r a m m e of i n t e r n a l r e - f u r b i s h m e n t s is p u r e l y o n e of c o s t . W h i l s t this is v a l i d , t h e o r g a n i s a t i o n of w o r k s is s u c h that c o n t r a c t u a l l a b o u r is e m p l o y e d , i n d e e d at t h e t i m e of w r i t i n g W i l l i s J a c k s o n is still in t h e h a n d s of t h e c o n t r a c t o r s . At least a term overdue.

Instructions have been g i v e n that W a r d e n s are to report w o r k m e n that lack security passes-this c o m e s as a geat relief s i n c e w i n d o w l o c k s a r e in s u c h a p o o r state of r e p a i r that any paint-splattered man c o u l d infiltrate a w o r k s i t e u n d e r the g u i s e of a r e p a i r m a n a n d h e l p h i m s e l f to the s t u d e n t s ' g o o d i e s , a n d s t u d e n t mail s i n c e o n l y t w o Evelyn Gardens Houses p o s s e s s l o c k s o n the p i g e o n h o l e s . S e v e r a l lar g e thefts h a v e o c c u r e d f r o m h o u s e s and while they may be e n t i r e l y d u e to d o o r s b e i n g left o p e n by b u s y w o r k m e n a n d not b o g u s l a b o u r e r s the s i t u a t i o n m u s t be i m p r o v e d a n d action taken.

A l l in a l l , r e s i d e n t s are g e t t i n g a very raw d e a l f r o m an a d m i n s t r a t i o n w h i c h c a n n o t be b o t h e r e d to repai r h o u s e s a d e q u a t e l y , w h i c h d o e s not c h e c k the finished work a n d u s u a l l y fails to h a v e bad work rectified. All y o u h a v e to d o is to l o o k around Evelyn Gardens and c o m p a r e external and i n t e r n a l c o n d i t i o n s to s e e wher e the C o l l e g e Residence Adminstrations real i n t e r e s t s lie.

The AUT Strike

o

W e d n e s d a y s a w the A U T s t r i k e , in protest at the f a l l i n g f u n d s for h i g h e r e d u c a t i o n . T h i s a f f e c t s us, the s t u d e n t s , a s w e l l as t h e staff. T h e y h a v e t h e i r gripes—and you should k n o w what they are—but we too have more. Next y e a r S i r K e i t h p l a n s to i n c r e a s e g r a n t s by 2 % w h i l s t i n f l a t i o n is 7%. F u r t h e r m o r e w e wil l not b e a b l e to c l a i m h o u s i n g benefit o v e r t h e C h r i s t m a s a n d E a s t e r v a c a t i o n s nor wil l w e be a b l e to c l a i m S o c i a l S e c u r i t y o v e r the summer. This represents a d r a s t i c cut in o u r f i n a n c i n g of a b o u t a q u a r t e r if y o u c l a i m h o u s i n g b e n e f i t (ie rent a private p l a c e to live)o b v i o u s l y v e r y s e v e r e in a n y c a s e . A l r e a d y m o s t of us are v e r y p o o r . T h i s d r o p in f u n d i n g will s e v e r e l y b i a s t h e o p p o r t u n i t y for h i g h e r education towards those w i t h m o r e of t h e i r o w n m o n e y . W h y d o they d o t h i s ? T h e r e are 2 r e a s o n (i) these people vote tory, and (ii) it s e e m s likely t h e y are t r y i n g to f o r c e i n d u s t r y to support higher education. Very g o o d idea, you may s a y . but if i n d u s t r y p a y s t h e n h o w m a n y art c o u r s e s d o y o u t h i n k will s u r v i v e ?

Student M u c h c o n c e r n has been v o i c e d over the s o m e t i m e s a p p a l l i n g state of r e p a i r of E v e l y n G a r d e n s , not least in F E L I X . T h i s s e e m s to have drifted t o w a r d s complacency perhaps partly d u e to a r e a s s u r i n g p r o f i l e of P e t e H a l l w o r t h Managing Surveyor (Residences). This man w a s p o r t r a y e d as a g e n i a l , conscientious administrator a n d little a t t e n t i o n in t h e a r t i c l e w a s g i v e to E v e l y n G a r d e n s with most criticisms pre-emptively glossed-over with the p r o m i s e of a g r a n d i o s e s c h e m e s for the s t u d e n t houses. H o w e v e r , all is not r o s y m u c h of t h e 'vital r e p a i r w o r k ' s e e m s to be c o n c e r n e d w i t h the e x t e r n a l a p p e a r e n c e of t h e h o u s e s (well, h o w m a n y m e m b e r s of t h e g e n e r a l p u b l i c d o \ y o u k n o w that s e e t h e ! inside of a s t u d e n t residence? Few 6

Rogue's

Gallery

In t h e e d u c a t i o n c u t s last year, Salford suffered the w o r s t of a l l . T h e y f o u n d alternative funds from i n d u s t r y alright, but n o w they're strongly biased towards S c i e n c e and T e c h n o l o g y . W h y is it s o m u c h h a r d e r for s c i e n c e s t u d e n t s t h a n e n g i n e e r s to get s p o n s o r s h i p s f r o m industry? B e c a u s e their c o u r s e s are less vocational a n d t h e y are l i a b l e not to e n d u p w o r k i n g for t h e i r sponsors. Clearly, industry isn't g o i n g to w a s t e m o n e y o n c o u r s e s that d o n ' t m a k e money. T he reason why t h e y d o n ' t m a k e m o n e y is b e c a u s e t h e y h a v e no d i r e c t p o w e r to i n f l u e n c e

Houses improvements were made i n s i d e the h o u s e s a n d those w h i c h were often poor and slapdash. For e x a m p l e , in B e r n a r d S u n l e y e g g s h e l l paint w a s u s e d in a bathroom which duly c r a c k e d d u e to the s t e a m . O n e of t h e b i g g e s t p r o b l e m s with t h e c o n t r a c t u a l l a b o u r is that it is not s y s t e m a t i c a l l y c h e c k e d by a C o l l e g e r e p r e s e n t a t i v e or a d m i n i s t r a t o r a n d e v e n if c o m p l a i n t s are m a d e to t h e contractors, the w o r k m e n are m o v e d o n f r o m site to site, u n d e r C o l l e g e d i r e c t i o n s o few s h o d d y j o b s are m a d e g o o d . T h i s last p o i n t a s s u m e d that administrative powers-thatbe wil l a c t u a l l y d e a l w i t h complaints from wardens:s a d l y this rarely s e e m s to b e t r u e - e x a m p l e s of t h i s L a i s s e z - F a i r e a t t i t u d e are legion. For example d e f e c t i v e w a t e r h e a t e r s in B e r n a r d S u n l e y H o u s e have

Is it a n y w o n d e r that w h e n y o u c o m e for y o u r i n t e r v i e w at IC y o u o n l y ever s e e H a l l s of Residence? Mike

Stone

P e r h a p s o n e of t h e a r g u m e n t s a g a i n s t an

Friday 24 January

FELIX


A s the i n t e r n a l S e r v i c e s Committee Chairman I am often a s k e d the f ollowin g questions: i) A l t h o u g h it is u n n e c e s s a r y f o r the u n i o n b a r to r e s t o r e its p o s i t i o n a s t h e m o s t u s e d b a r in c o l l e g e it is e v i d e n t that it must c o m p e t e s uc c es s f ull y w i t h S o u t h s i d e B a r in o r d e r to e n s u r e that it is b o t h a financially viable enterprise a n d a s e r v i c e u s e d by a w i d e c r o s s s e c t i o n of t h e students population. ii) T h e m a j o r f a c t o r u n d e r p i n n i n g the s u c c e s s of S o u t h s i d e (figures f r o m last y e a r s h o w t h a t S o u t h s i d e ' s t a k i n g s are almost d o u b l e the U n i o n B a r ' s t a k i n g s ) is the better f a c i l i t i e s w h i c h it e n j o y s by virtue of its s i t u a t i o n . It h a s a s p a c i o u s bar w i t h s p a c e to s e a t a r e a s o n a b l y l a r g e n u m b e r of c u s t o m e r s in s o m e d e g r e e of c o m f o r t . It h a s the m a j o r i t y of t h e h a l l s of r e s i d e n c e s i t u a t e d a r o u n d it. iii) T o e n s u r e (i) in t h e f a c e of (ii) t h e u n i o n will be r e q u i r e d to m a k e a lar g e c a p i t a l i n v e s t m e n t in its bar. iv) T h e t i m i n g of c wil l u n d o u b t e d l y be a f f e c t e d by t h e fact that a l t h o u g h t h e u n i o n is at p r e s e n t financially r e s p o n s i b l e for the u n i o n bar, it is not t h e licence holder. T h e l i c e n c e w i l l r e m a i n in t h e S h e r f i e i l d b u i l d i n g until after the e n d of t h e c u r r e n t a c a d e m i c year. 2 What kind of alterations should be make to the bar? F i r s t l y , it w o u l d not be s e n s i b l e to s e e k to t u r n t h e u n i o n bar itself into s o m e k i n d of ' m i n i s o u t h s i d e ' . A l t h o u g h its s h a r e of t h e m a r k e t h a s d e c r e a s e d in r e c e n t y e a r s t h e bar h a s a l w a y s m a d e a profit w i t h that o n e r o o m a l o n e . T h e r e is q u i t e s i m p l y not e n o u g h r o o m to a c c o m o d a t e l a r g e n u m b e r s of p e o p l e w h o w i s h to sit d o w n w i t h g r o u p s of f r i e n d s to e n j o y a q u i e t s o c i a l d r i n k . In a n y c a s e t h e r e is no d o u b t in m y m i n d that e v e n if w e w e r e to install better f u r n i s h i n g s t h e r e w o u l d still b e e l e m e n t s f r o m the C C U / R u g b y C l u b barnite set w h o w o u l d d e e m it n e c e s s a r y to v o m i t o n t h e m simply b e c a u s e they would set this as a ' T r a d i t i o n ' . W e do, however, have the p o t e n t i a l to c r e a t e a ' l o u n g e bar' a t m o s p h e r e in the r o o m w h i c h c u r r e n t l y h o u s e s the union S n a c k B a r . In t h e e v e n i n g s this r o o m is, at p r e s e n t , u n d e r u s e d . If w e c o u l d install better f u r n i t u r e h e r e and spend some money i m p r o v i n g the a p p e a r a n c e FELIX

Internal Services of t h e r o o m w e w o u l d h a v e a n a r e a s u i t e d to t h e m o r e c a s u a l b a r user. It h a s t h e s p a c e to a c c o m m o d a t e a r e a s o n a b l y l a r g e n u m b e r of p e o p l e a n d it a l r e a d y h a s a f o o d outlet w h i c h c o u l d , given sufficent d e m a n d , s e r v e s n a c k s a n d c o f f e e to t h o s e w h o a p p r e c i a t e that d r i n k i n g ad n a u s e a m is not t h e last w o r d in s o c i a l intercourse. There would a l s o e x i s t t h e p o s s i b i l i t y of holding cabaret evenings a l o n g the l i n e s of t h e e x c e l l e n t but s a d l y u n d e r publicised comedy e v e n i n g s that w e r e o r g a n i s e d by IC E n t s at the b e g i n n i n g of last t e r m . T e l e v i s i o n is a l r e a d y o n its way. 3 When C a n This Improvement Programme Start? T h e g l i b a n s w e r to this is 'when we have the money', but in a d d i t i o n it w o u l d be r e c k l e s s for t h e u n i o n to d i v e into s u c h a m a j o r programme immediately after t a k i n g o v e r t h e bar. T i m e must clearly be taken s o r t i n g out the administrative implications of t h e t a k e o v e r . A l o g i c a l t i m e to start is w h e n t h e u n i o n takes over the l i c e n c e . T h i s g i v e s us a m u c h freer h a n d in w h a t w e i n t e n d to d o ( w o u l d t h e c o l l e g e e n g a g e in p r o g r a m m e of b l o c k i n g t a c t i c s to b l a c k a m o v e that w o u l d clearly be d e s i g n e d to t a k e m o n e y a w a y f r o m their o w n o u t l e t s ? ) . It a l s o g i v e s us t i m e firstly to p l a n the c h a n g e s and s e c o n d l y to p r o v e to a p o t e n t i a l i n v e s t o r that the bar is c a p a b l e of m a k i n g a profit

w h e n run by t h e u n i o n . T h i s m e a n s that w e h a v e to w o r k with the bar as it is for s o m e m o n t h s , d u r i n g a p e r i o d w h i c h is t r a d i t i o n a l y q u i e t a n d t h u s h a v e to e n c o u r a g e traditional users of t h e bar to s u p p o r t it. 4Does it not seem a little paradoxical that in order to change the face of the bar we seem to be encouraging the traditional 'bar drinking' elements? Y e s it d o e s . H o w e v e r it is a l o g i c a l m o v e in s o far as w e n e e d to m a k e m o n e y d u r i n g this crucial period s o w e m u s t u s e t h e bar to its best affect a n d it is d e s i g n e d as a h a r d d r i n k i n g bar. O v e r a n d a b o v e t h i s disgracefully capitalistic attitude I w o u l d c o n t e n d that d u e to the c h a o s of t h e last t e r m t h e bar h a s discouraged many people w h o j o i n e d t h e c o l l e g e this year, we may never win t h e m b a c k but I w o u l d s a y to a n y o n e w h o f e e l s t h i s way, please go and take a n o t h e r l o o k , t h e bar is visibly improving and even a s it is it c a n still p r o v i d e a p l e a s a n t s e t t i n g for the casual drinker. A n o t h e r t h i n g to p o i n t out is that b o t h t h e u n i o n a n d t h e bar m a n a g e r b o t h s e e k to c u r b t h e i n t i m i d a t i n g n a t u r e of s o m e of t h e a c t s p e r f o r m e d u n d e r t h e i n f l u e n c e of a l c o h o l in the n a m e of h a v i n g a bit of a l a u g h w i t h the b o y s . In p a r t i c u l a r , t h e u n i o n c a n in n o w a y c o n d o n e a n y k i n d of s e x i s t a b u s e of f e m a l e c u s t o m e r s . T h i s sort of b e h a v i o u r h a s o c c u r r e d in t h e p a s t a n d it is of t h e u t m o s t i m p o r t a n c e that a n y r e c u r r e n c e of this sort of

Friday 24 January

b e h a v i o u r is r e p o r t e d to the u n i o n s o that t h e o f f e n d e r s c a n b e dealt w i t h . 5Why did internal services committee give approval to the employment of members of Links 22 and chaps in preference to other students? It d i d n ' t , a n d I p e r s o n a l l y would oppose any such m o v e . T h e m e e t i n g of 13 J a n u a r y w a s a t t e n d e d by M o o r e L y t t l e , the u n i o n bar m a n a g e r at m y i n v i t a t i o n . H e w a s not a m e m b e r of the c o m m i t t e e a n d as s u c h it w o u l d be i m p r o p e r for the c o m m i t t e e to m a k e a n y k i n d of p o l i c y d i c t a t i n g the m a n n e r in w h i c h he s h o u l d e m p l o y bar staff. In a n y case, Mr Lyttle made no such suggestion and would not s u p p o r t s u c h a m o v e y o u c a n ask h i m if y o u like, (that's m o r e t h a n F E L I X did). M r Lyttle did however, p o i n t out that t h e r e w e r e several students already e n g a g e d to w o r k as c a s u a l staff w h o h a p p e n to be m e m b e r s of t h e o r g a n i s a t i o n s in q u e s t i o n . H e s u g g e s t e d that rather than giving these people a free h a n d in t h e n i g h t s that t h e y w o r k , that s o m e of t h e m be a s k e d o n a s p e c i f i c n i g h t in o r d e r that t h e r e w o u l d be a p o i n t of c o n t a c t for o t h e r m e m b e r s of t h e c l u b in t h e u n i o n as w e l l as S o u t h s i d e (the S o u t h s i d e b a r m a n a g e r is a m e m b e r of all t h r e e 'tie c l u b s ' ) . It w a s s i m p l y a m o v e to e n c o u r a g e o n e g r o u p of p e o p l e to s u p p o r t t h e u n i o n of w h i c h t h e y are or h a v e b e e n m e m b e r s by u s i n g a bar a r o u n d w h i c h m a n y of their o f f i c i a l functions are based 6 T o employ any member of staff for any reason other than their ability to perform the function required of bar staff is not only unacceptably discriminatory it is no way to run a business It w o u l d h a v e b e e n n i c e if t h e F E L I X staff m e m b e r s c o n c e r n e d h a d b o t h e r e d to ask e i g t h e r m y s e l f or the b a r m a n a g e r a b o u t the i s s u e s in q u e s t i o n b e f o r e printing the rather m i s l e a d i n g a r t i c l e ' B a r staff F E L I X 17.1.86 ) e s p e c i a l l y at a t i m e w h e n it is of p a r a m o u n t i m p o r t a n c e that F E L I X a n d the u n i o n pull t o g e t h e r to s t e m the r e l e n t l e s s o n s l a u g h t of the Biology department. We w o u l d n ' t want to e n d u p with the union office and the l o u n g e m o v e d into t h e bar cellers a n d a F E L I X o f f i c e half w a y u p t h e Q u e e n s tower. Alan Rose Internal Services Committee Chairman 85/86

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H a v i n g o n l y just t a k e n o v e r t h e j o b I h a v e still to get f u l l y i n t o the s w i n g of t h e record buying program. H o w e v e r I t h o u g h t I'd t a k e this o p p o r t u n i t y to p i c k out s o m e of t h e l e s s mainstream records I have b o u g h t r e c e n t l y O n e of m y p e r s o n a l interests is b l u e s a n d I n o p e to a d d at least a few n e w b l u e s r e c o r d s to the c o l l e c t i o n I'm n o a f f i c i o n a d o a n d e v e n if I w a s I w o u l d h e s i t a t e to b o r e y o u w i t h an in d e p t h h i s t o r y of ev er y s i n g l e D e a f L e m o n B r i c k f a c e et a l . B u t at t h e s a m e t i m e t h e i n f l u e n c e of t h e great original blues players o n modern popular music, e s p e c i a l l y r o c k , c a n ' t be o v e r e s t i m a t e d . A r t i s t s like Freddie King invented m a n y of t h e l i c k s a n d riffs c r i b b e d by m o d e r n r o c k g u i t a r i s t s . A n d g r o u p s like the R o l l i n g S t o n e s m i g h t have been n o wh e r e without M u d d y Waters, while Dire Straits M e g a guitar-hero Mark knopfler cites the o r i g i n a l s l i d e p l a y e r s as a s t r o n g i n f l u e n c e o n his s t y l e of p l a y i n g . B B K i n g is the m a n they s o m e t i m e s c a l l t h e ' K i n g of t h e B l u e s G u i t a r ' a n d is c e r t a i n l y o n e of t h e better known and more commercially successful bluesmen. His album 'Live at the R e g a l ' is o f t e n l i s t e d as a c l a s s i c a n d is a m o n g recent library additions. K i n g c l a i m s he can't sing a n d p l a y at t h e s a m e t i m e , an almost open c o n t r a d i c t i o n to this faultless playing. His m u s i c is c h a r a c t e r i s e d by a s o u l f u l ' t a l k i n g guitar' s t y l e . M o s t of us k n o w s o m e t h i n g about J o h n L e n n o n . We k n o w that h e w a s o n e of t w o l e a d i n g m e m b e r s of t h e B e a t l e s , w e k n o w he w a s rather c o n t r o v e r s i a l in his words and actions both d u r i n g a n d after the Beatles, a n d we k n o w he was involved with, and then married, a J apanes e w o m a n called Yoko Ono. Lennon. a documentary/play/musical by B o b E a t o n , tries to fill

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If y o u w a n t to hea r m o r e r o c k i n g blues then H o u n d Dog Taylor and Elmore J a m e s are w o r t h a l i s t e n . A n d I can't finish without mentioning a personal f a v o u r i t e of m i n e L i g h t i n ' H o p k i n ' s w h o f e a t u r e d in the B B C 2 b l u e s s p e c i a l last

y e a r , a n d s o m e of w h o ' s best m a t e r i a l is i n c l u d e d o n v o l u m e 12 of t h e S o n e t l a b e l ' s ' L e g a c y of t h e b l u e s ' series. F i n a l y b a s t i o n s of t h e current alternative s c e n e 'Here and Now' and Roy H a r p e r are b o t h p l a y i n g live at p r e s e n t . F o r ' H e r e a n d N o w ' it is s a d l y t h e i r farewell tour. F o r m e d from t h e r e m n a n t s of t h e h i p p y g r o u p G o n g , their m u s i c took on a quite different and surprisingly commercial sound r e m e n i s c e n t at t i m e s of s u c h d i v e r s e i n f l u e n c e s as t h e P o l i c e in t e r m s of r h y t h m s a n d P i n k F l o y d in t e r m s of f l o a t i n g , a t m o s p h e r i c guitar and s y n t h . T h e i r last a l b u m ' T h e a t r e ' is w e l l w o r t h l i s t e n i n g t o a n d s h o u l d be a v a i l a b l e o n c e I get a r o u n d

the g a p s in o u r k n o w l e d g e by u s i n g J o h n ' s o w n w o r d s , t h e w o r d s of h i s f r i e n d s , a n d t h e l y r i c s of his s o n g s . T h e d i r e c t i o n by C l a r e Vanables was quite e x t r a o r d i n a r y , in the s e n s e that w h i l e t h e c a s t of n i n e t o o k s e v e r a l parts e a c h (except for t h o s e w h o played Lennon), shared parts, a n d g e n e r a l l y tried as h a r d a s t h e y c o u l d to c o n f u s e t h e a u d i e n c e , the w h o l e t h i n g t u r n e d out to be q u i t e c r e d i b l e , a n d e v e n comprehensible. T h e set w a s a l s o u n u s u a l . Alison Chitty was faced wit h the p r o b l e m that the musical instruments n e e d e d for J o h n L e n n o n ' s

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to d r o p p i n g it off to t h e librarian. R o y H a r p e r is o n e of a n a c h r o n i s m s of t h e m u s i c world, and the s p a c e here is not n e a r l y s u f f i c i e n t to s u m h i m u p . H a r p e r w i l l be k n o w to m o s t p e o p l e t h r o u g h his a s s o c i a t i o n w i t h L e d Z e p p l i n (eg ' H a t s off to R o y - L e d ' Z e p 3) a n d his friendship with J i m m y P a g e w h o p l a y s o n his album J u g u l a . But R o y H a r p e r is at his best as a live e n t e r t a i n e r p l a y i n g his o w n i n d i v i d u a l i s t i c b r a n d of f o l k g u i t a r to a s m a l l a u d i e n c e , often playing p u b s a n d c h a r i t y or free f e s t i v a l s . H a r p e r a p p e a r s to h a v e s c a n t r e g a r d to commercial consideration a n d h e n c e m u c h of his

m a t e r i a l is very d i f f i c u l t to find. But hopefully I c a n d i g u p e n o u g h to k e e p t h e d e d i c a t e d b u n c h of H a r p e r f a n s out t h e r e , w h o travel m i l e s to s e e t h e m a n p l a y at t h e o d d e s t t i m e s a n d places, happy. 'Jugula' s h o u l d already have been a d d e d to the tape collection and 'Stormcock',

s o n g s c o u l d not be m o v e d at all d u r i n g t h e s h o w . E v e n s o , s h e m a n a g e d to d e s i g n a s t u n n i n g (and v e r y clever) b a c k w a l l w h i c h c h a n g e d spectacularly as necessary. J o h n L e n n o n is p l a y e d by b o t h M a r k M c G a n n a n d Jonathan Barlow. Perhaps t h e o n l y fault in t h e i r i n t e r p r e t a t i o n s of t h e younger and older L e n n o n w a s t h e s l i g h t lack of o v e r l a p in c h a r a c t e r development. O n e minute we see J o h n young and fiery, a n d t h e next m i n u t e , older and cooler. Otherwise their l i k e n e s s to h i m , for o n e w h o h a d n e v e r met h i m at least, w a s q u i t e s t a r t l i n g .

'Folkjokeopus' and 'Return of t h e S o p h i s t i c a t e d B e g g a r ' s h o u l d b e a r o u n d in record soon. T h e t a p e c o l l e c t i o n is w o e f u l in c o m p a r s o n to that for r e c o r d s a n d o n e of m y m a j o r p r i o r i t i e s is i n c r e a s i n g it. H o w e v e r b e c a u s e of t h e e n o r m i t y of t h e task t h i s will be t h e w o r k of s e v e r a l y e a r s . It is, i n c i d e n t a l l y , s u r p r i s i n g that d e s p i t e t h e fact that t h e t a p e c o l l e c t i o n is l a c k i n g , t h e vast m a j o r i t y of r e q u e s t s are for r e c o r d s . T h e l e g a c y of t h e e a r l y p s y c h e d e l i c b a n d s is a p p a r e n t all o v e r t h e p l a c e , not least in t e r m s of t h o s e still p l a y i n g . T h e D e v i a n t s are a n outfit literally s t u f f e d full of a g e i n g f a m o u s h i p p i e s w h o still o c c a s i o n a l l y c o m e together to p l a y s o m e p u n c h y R ' n ' B . Main members Mick Farren and Larry Wallis (both exPink Fairies and Wallis also o r i g i n a l g u i t a r i s t for M o t o r h e a d ) a r e j o i n e d by ex M C 5 g u i t a r i s t W a y n e K r a m e r o n t h e i r live a l b u m ' H u m a n G a r b a g e ' w h i c h is a r e c o r d i n g of t h e i r 1984 r e u n i o n at D i n g w a l l s . T h e r e c o r d i n g m a n a g e s to c o m p e n s a t e s f o r s o m e , but u n f o r t u n a t e l y not a l l , of D i n g w a l l s rather p o o r s o u n d a n d is a n e x c e l l e n t compilation. I h o p e that at s o m e t i m e this y e a r I'll b u y s o m e t h i n g to interest m o s t p e o p l e . T h e records I have m e n t i o n e d a r e just o d d p r e f e r e n c e s of m y o w n . B u t please remember the famous quote about p l e a s i n g all the p e o p l e all t h e time.

BOOKS W i t h t h e w o r k s of A l b e r t C a m u s t h e q u e s t i o n is not w h e t h e r to t a k e t h e b o o k s at f a c e v a l u e , but w h e t h e r t h e y h a v e a f a c e v a l u e at all. H e w a s o n e of t h e g r e a t e s t F r e n c h w r i t e r s of this c e n t u r y ; v e r s a t i l e , h a r d hitting a n d observant, he w a s not o n l y a m a n of words. C a m u s was once a professional footballer and edited a French underground new paper during the 2nd W o r l d War. In T h e Plague C a m u s

writes about an A l g e r i a n p o r t s u f f e r i n g an e p i d e m i c of b u b o n i c p l a g u e , v i e w e d t h r o u g h t h e e y e s of a l o c a l d o c t o r . T h e t o w n is s e a l e d off by s e n t r i e s a n d t h e p e o p l e left to d i e , e s c a p e r s being shot, and subtle c o m p a r i s o n s are m a d e w i t h occupied France. The c h r o n i c l e of i n c r e a s i n g deaths - several hundred a day - decreasing food, terror and despair creatres a n a t m o s p h e r s i m i l a r to a S a l e m w i t c h h u n t , a n d for t h e s t o r y a l o n e t h e b o o k is fascinating. C o l l e c t i o n s of his s h o r t s t o r i e s s u c h as Youthful

Writings are e s p e c i a l l y brilliant - e a c h tiny fable e n c a p s u l a t i n g an argument o r p o i n t of v i e w o n life, t h e universe or anything. P h i l o s o p h y , d e a t h , art, religion emotions and s o c i e t y all c o m e u n d e r t h e s c r u t i n y of t h i s N o b e l p r i z e winner.

Albert Camus Vmthful Writinjjs

HI

V a r i o u s of his b o o k s p u b l i s h e d by P e n g u i n i n c l u d e Youthful Writings a n d T h e Plague t o g e t h e r w i t h The Outsider a n d T h e ! Fall, b o t h of w h i c h s t a b at t h e h y p o c r a c y of t h e French Bourgeois. These s h o u l d be available from any large b o o k s h o p . 'Desperately Seeking S u s a n ' in F r a n c e . Death Wish Three 0 (Cannon Chelsea, Haymarket, Oxford St Prince Charles) The well-known consciencious objector (well he s a y s h e w a s in t h e film) r e t u r n s to w a s t e s o m e more creeps. A n o b s c e n e and violent f il m w i t h n o r e d e e m i n g q u a l i t i e s , e x c e p t that I f o u n d it q u i t e f u n n y in parts, but that's n o e x c u s e for y o u to g o a n d s e e it.

S t a r rating k e y : • • • • • Masterpiece Excellent • • • Good Fair • Poor, but has something 0 Dreadful The Sure Thing (Cannon Tottenham Ct Rd, Haymarket, Chelsea) A rather c h a r m i n g c o m e d y in t h e H o l l y w o o d r o m a n t i c tradition. T w o opposites are f o r c e d t o g e t h e r for a trip a c r o s s A m e r i c a , o n e to meet the ' s u r e t h i n g ' that his f r i e n d h a s set h i m u p w i t h t h e o t h e r to m e e t h e r nascent yuppie boyfriend. G o o d script and natural a c t i n g f r o m the t w o l e a d s , but a s h a m e a b o u t t h e ending. My Beautiful Laundrette • • • • (Cannon Charing X, Chelsea) A s t o r y of t h e T h a t c h e r i t e s u c c e s s of an A s i a n lad a n d his e x - N F f r i e n d as t h e y set up a l a u n d e r e t t e business. This excellent script and fine a c t i n g a l l o w s great i n s i g h t to t h e m o t i v e s a n d d e s i r e s of ail i n v o l v e d in this f il m d i r e c t e d by Stephen Frears.

Mr M c G a n n ' s voice especially was uncannily like L e n n o n ' s o w n . Other notable p e r f o r m a n c e s were given by M a r t y n E l l i s a n d M i a Soteriou who played Paul McCartney and Yoko O n o respectively. T h o u g h p h y s i c a l l y totally different f r o m the original (except for his hair) M r E l l i s m a n a g e d to c r e a t e P a u l just as w e all k n o w a n d love h i m , u s i n g his f a c e , a n d to a l e s s e r extent his voice. M s Soteriou, while a d d r e s s i n g her a u d i e n c e u s i n g o n e of Y o k o ' s s p e e c h e s f r o m after Lennon's death, managed to m a k e Y o k o s e e m m o r e sympathetic than many people had thought Y o k o to be at t h e t i m e !

Rocky IV * (Lecicester S q Thetare) T h e Italian S p a n i e l s l u r s his way through s o m e more anti-commie trash. This t i m e his f r i e n d is k i l l e d by t h e c o l o s s a l C o m r a d e Ivan Drago and therefore R o c k y , out of a n e e d for r e v e n g e , a r r a n g e s a fight in t h e U S S R . Russians seem s u r p r i s i n g l y to h a v e not o n l y better t e c h n o l o g y but a l s o better h a i r c u t s . Stallone directed himself through an extended pop v i d e o a n d fails to m a k e m e u n d e r s t a n d h o w he m a n a g e s to w i n o v e r the c r o w d at the e n d .

F o r a n y o n e w h o is or w a s i n t e r e s t e d in t h e ' F a b F o u r ' g o i n g to s e e L e n n o n at t h e A s t o r i a t h e a t r e w i l l be a real treat t h e m u s i c , t h e myth and the m e m o r i e s . Friday 24 Jan

Black Narcissus • • • • (Electric Screen) M i c h a e l P o w e l l ' s d e c i s o n to s h o o t t h e e n t i r e f i l m in t h e studio allows him masterful c o n t r o l of s p a c e in this tale of f l e s h v e r s u s t h e spirit. A g r o u p of n u n s h a s it's faith a n d r e s o l v e t e s t e d by the freedom and passions of t h e H i m a l a y a s . P o w e l l and Pressburger's usual h i g h s t a n d a r d of s t o r y t e l l i n g p l u s an e s s a y in colour s y m b o l i s m , well w o r t h t h e revival. Colonel Redl • • • • (Premiere) An ambtious young peasant ruthlessly climbs the A u s t r o - H u n g a r i a n A r m y r a n k s o n l y to be b e t r a y e d by the upper classes. A s l o w start b u i l d s to a m a s t e r p i e c e of an e n d i n g .

O n c e again Szabo's direction allows Klaus M a r i a B r a n d a u e r to p e r f o r m magnificently as a man w i l l i n g to s a c r i f i c e f a m i l y a n d f r i e n d s to s u c c e e d . Death in a French Garden • • * (Camden Plaza, Chelsea) T h e title is a n untranslatable pun and a r e f e r e n c e to t h e F r e n c h title of ' T h e D r a u g h t s m a n ' s C o n t r a c t ' , to w h i c h this f i l m o w e s s o m e t h i n g . It is a witty a n d erotic p s h y c h o l o g i c a l thriller involving a guitar teacher w h o never quite m a n a g e s to w o r k out w h a t is happening around him. Rather self-consciously s t y l i s h at t i m e s , but nevertheless more successful than

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Defence of the Realm • * * • * (Odeon Haymarket) Brilliant c o n s p i r a c y yarn about a journalist

u n c o v e r i n g the mystery behind a political scandal. T h e attractive c o u p l e Gabriel Byrns and Greta S a c c h i join forces against the evil a u t h o r i t y . A g o o d story well told. Peppermint Freedom * * * (Metro) T h e a f t e r m a t h of the S e c o n d W o r l d W a r as seen t h r o u g h t h e e y e s of a y o u n g G e r m a n girl. Peter F o n d a plays a local G l w h o fraternises with a girl f r o m the v i l l a g e . A charming anti-war statement w h o s e original title is a play o n the confusion between freedom and peace


Junior Common Room Bronze Medal Dancing Class L e s s o n s in L a t i n A m e r i c a n a n d B a l l r o o m for t h e B r o n z e M e d a l exam.

1800h

i230h •VS. Union Upper Lounge •VS. Orienteering Club. M e e t i n g to o r g a n i s e travel a r r a n g e m e n t s for the w e e k e n d .

Southside Gym Imperial Workout wear s o m e t h i n g c o m f o r t a b l e a n d a n y type of training s h o e . A t o w e l / e x e r c i s e mat is a l s o useful.

9 Princes Gardens Islamic Society prayers Beit Gym \ Keep Fit P l e a s e bring s u i t a b l e clothing and jogging s h o t s .

1245h

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VSS. Volleyball Court '.•sit Basketball s h o o t i n g p r a c t i c e F o r \ff!\ all players; to t e a c h b e g i n n e r s K v how to shoot, a n d h e l p m o r e e x p e r i e n c e d players i m p r o v e their •VS. s h o o t i n g .

'VS. Union Building •VS. Islamic Society c o n g r e g a t i o n a l v'.-j prayer. '•VS. Beit Gym VS.- Keep Fit P l e a s e bring s u i t a b l e 'VS.- c l o t h i n g a n d j o g g i n g s h o e s . 1830h

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1730h Vonayaail Court ' Basketball training for first a n d secortffteam members. \l745h (eat Hall d Band r e h e a r s a l

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'•VS. Volleyball Court Badminton Club. E v e r y o n e welcome.

i Dance Class, B e ! f o r a real w o r k - o u t a n d is e clotrtes It's great

fun

1900h 2030h

JCR Rock 'n' Roll Dance Class. R o c k away y o u r M o n d a y b l u e s — j o i n this stimulating d a n c e n o w ! A d m i s s i o n 75p

Southside Bar Southside Bar D i s c o

1900(1 JCR Intermediate Dancing Class. A d m i s s i o n 50p

y.v. :1000h

JCR New Beginners Dance Class. Ballroom and Latin A m e r i c a n d a n c i n g l e s s o n s with a p r o f e s s i o n a l teacher. A d m i s s i o n 50p

; Sherfield Consort Gallery • Chaplaincy c o m m u n i o n s e r v i c e

Union Upper Lounge Audio Society collect today r e c o r d s o r d e r e d on T u e s d a y . Mines B303 Scout and Guide s l i d e s h o w . 1245h JCR Chinese Chess. C o m e a n d play Vei-Qi and Xiang-Qi. also known ' in J a p a n e s e a n d ' B a d u k ' AH w e l c o m e grfield „ . i Stall Informa ; work a n d play i n

193 Oh Music Room, 53 Princes Gate Opsoc rehearsal 2000h JCR Improvers Dancing Class. Ballroom and Latin American d a n c i n g for postb e g i n n e r s — A n y o n e w h o started a n d w i s h e s to c o n t i n u e p r o f e s s i o n a l tuition. A d m i s s i o n 50p

2000h

1300h ; 9 Princes Gardens ; Islamic Society prayers

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1230h LifaSci G1L • Cathsoc l u n c h g r o u p .

1300h TV Lbunges S T O I C Watch Jlfcpteo»Ogi¥ t&Hmto* upper to Balloon Club meeting ' 9 Princes Gsfcdens Islamic S o c i e t y p r a y e r s Green Committee Room-Top floor of Union building SFSoc Library meeting. A c c e s s to the S F S o c library of over 1000 titles, plus d i s c u s s i o n a n d o r g a n i s a t i o n of future events.

Beit 'Gym Keep F i t C i r c u i t s . F r e e t o m e m b e r s of I C K e e p Fit C l u b , M e m b e r s h i p £1 1300h

;1130h More House, 53 Cromwell Road Catholic Soc M a s s all w e l c o m e for reflection a n d w o r s h i p .

• Union Gym sWu Shu Kwan K i c k the b o r i n g S u n d a y habit, literally! L e a r n to look after yourself a n d enjoy fitness with IC K u n g F u C l u b 1900h 301m1999kHz I The Classical Show. T h e best m u s i c of t h e last 500 y e a r s a n d | more (

1230h

Union Gym Judo Coaching Session. Instruction from B J A resident a n d guest instructors. A l l welcome, especially beginners. 60p mat fee.

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Southside Upper Lounge Hang-gilding m e e t i n g I Southside Upper Lounge jWaterski Club. C o m e a l o n g a n d [sign up for W e d n e s d a y a n d ( S a t u r d a y trips.

1230h Chem 231 Catholic Society M a s s , l u n c h a n d people. Q u i e t after q u a n t u m theory, transistors etc. E v e r y o n e wefsome.

S a ^ o v e So..r. Mfcffi Club. A ) . access"ta..our c o m p u t e r s a n t * r c c e ' s s m g facilities rship££

1245h JCR Chinese Chess. C o m e a n d play W e i - Q i a n d X i a n g - Q i . also k n o w n as G o h ' in J a p a n e s e a n d ' B a d u k ' in K o r e a n . A l l w e l c o m e .

130011 Southside Lounge Boardsaillng Club. R e g u l a r m e e t i n g to o r g a n i s e W e d afternoon trips. M e m b e r s h i p £4.

9 Prince's'Gat den I s l a m i c t e a c h i n g s c o u r s e series D Muslim Beliefs

Mech Eng Foyer Make Kids Toys for h a n d i c a p p e d children

Volleyball Court Basketball beginner s training.

1900h

Room 2E, ULU U L U Gay and Lesbian meeting 2115h

1730h

Junior Common Room Silver Medal Dancing Class A d m i s s i o n 75p

Brown Committee Room Amnesty International M e e t i n g .

G r e a f Hall IC Orchestra R e h e a r s a l

Southside Lounge Q T stunt c o o r d i n a t i o n meeting 9 Princes Gardens Islamic Society prayers

Weeks Hall I C C A G S o u p R u n , tea, s o u p a n d m e e t i n g L o n d o n ' s d o w n a n d outs.


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QT Extract from 'The Secret D i a r y of F r a n k O r i f a c e ( M e c h E n g 2) a g e d 1 9 % Jan 1st O f all t h e y e a r s in m y life, 1986 l o o k s to be by far t h e m o s t r e c e n t . It c e r t a i n l y started well. O n N e w Year's E v e I s m u g g l e d t w o c a n s of s h a n d y u p to m y r o o m a n d got leglessly drunk. W o k e up this m o r n i n g feeling really ill. I h o p e it isn't morning sickness. I was w e a r i n g n o t h i n g but m y left s o c k a n d h a d a l u m p of c o n c r e t e in m y m o u t h . I h o p e I haven't d e f a c e d any famous London landmarks, as I a m d e a d p a t r i o t i c . Jan 2 n d T o d a y on the t u b e a large hairy i n e b r i a t e i n f o r m e d m e that he h a t e d m y g u t s . T h i s s u r p r i s e d me as I d o not r e c a l l s h o w i n g t h e m to h i m .

T h e m a n is o b v i o u s l y not a n i n t e l l e c t u a l like me. Jan 3 T o d a y I felt like b e i n g k i n d to p o l i t i c a l l y r e p r e s s e d minorities so I gave twenty p e n c e to a m a n w h o l o o k e d like a l i b e r a l . H e w a s not in t h e least bit g r a t e f u l . N o w o n d e r t h e T o r i e s run t h e country. Jan 8th W e n t to my first Q T m e e t i n g ; it w a s d e a d brilliant! T h e r e w e r e lots of R E A L L Y Z A N Y people t h e r e . W e sat a n d d i s c u s s e d plans for s o m e really F A B S t u n t s a n d e v e n t s . I t h i n k I wil l b e c o m e an anarchist w h e n I g r o w up. S u b m i t t e d by S t e p h e n J o h n s t o n e P h y s i c s 1. R u n n e r up in Q T w r i t i n g c o m p e t i t i o n '85-86'

It's greeyut, man! T h e p r e s t i g i o u s l e a d e r s of Teetotal S o c are trying to f i n d a n a m e for t h e i r n e w m a s c o t - a c a n of B a r b i c a n lager. T h e y d e c i d e that t h i s s h o u l d b e a r t h e n a m e of o n e of the c o m m i t t e e m e m b e r s , a n d that t h e y s h o u l d h a v e a n e l e c t i o n to s e e w h i c h o n e of t h e m w i l l b e r e m e m b e r e d by this great h o n o u r . T h e r e are s i x c o m m i t t e e members seated around a c i r c u l a r table: the President, the C h a i r m a n , the Secretary, the T r e a s u r e r , the P u b l i c i t y O f f i c e r , a n d an O r d i n a r y Committee Member. A n c i e n t club tradition i n s i s i t s that v o t i n g t a k e p l a c e a c c o r d i n g to a strict set of r u l e s that m u s t all be the f r e s h e r s ' d i n n e r s this is g o i n g to be e v e n better.

RCSU Wargames Sci Fi

Just when you thought peace had broken outb e w a r e , w a r g a m e s are c o m i n g . With weekly meetings c o n t i n u i n g their m a s s i v e a t t e n d a n c e (don't s a y y o u j o i n e d for t h e p r e s t i g e ! ) there is little to report, d e s p i t e a w e e k l y c a s u a l t y rate in t h e millions. W e c a n h o w e v e r reveal w h y the A x i s lost W o r l d W a r 2-they w e r e b e a t e n by Chemical Engineers-their own. Repeated incompetence on a scale unparalled since an Egyptian army l a u n c h e d a (doomed) amphibious a s s a u l t a c r o s s the R e d S e a has r e s u l t e d in n e a r hysteria amongst wargamers as catastrophe follows catastrophe. To s u m the major points: J a p a n h a s lost the w a r 3 times inside a year, g o i n g d o w n virtually w i t h o u t a fight, a n d best of all G e r m a n y has been invaded a n d d e f e a t e d by a B r i t i s h a r m y (no A m e r i c a n s i n v o l v e d ) in 1942 - I thought there w a s s o m e t h i n g w r o n g w i t h the D-Day celebrations. S o if y o u ' r e out t h e r e , w o n d e r i n g if y o u ' r e g o o d enough-come along-from n o w o n , t h i n g s c a n o n l y get better (surely!) FELIX

D o y o u realise its n i n e weeks since Rag Week s t a g g e r e d to an e n d . T h a t ' s 63 d a y s y o u ' v e h a d to rekindle y o u r e n t h u s i a m for charitable activities. S o w h e n y o u ' r e t o l d that y o u r p a r t i c i p a t i o n in f o r t h c o m i n g a t t r a c t i o n s is r e q u e s t e d y o u ' r e all g o i n g to leap at the c h a n c e , aren't y o u ? T h e first rag t o u r is a b o u t to t a k e p l a c e , a r o u n d t h e Midland and Northern universities for w h i c h we n e e d at least 20 w i l l i n g b o d i e s to g o R a g M a g s e l l i n g for a l o n g w e e k e n d ( F r i d a y - M o n d a y ) . T h e date wil l be f i x e d at T u e s d a y s Carnival Committe meeting (1pm U p p e r L o u n g e ) and f u r t h e r d e t a i l s are in this w e e k s B r o a d s h e e t (but y o u d o n ' t h a v e to be R C S to g o ) . N a m e s to R C S U . N e x t w e w a n t to e n c o u r a g e as m a n y p e o p l e as p o s s i b l e to give Blood. T h e r e will p r o b a b l y b e t w o d o n a t i o n s e s s i o n at least, o n e of w h i c h will b e a W e d n e s d a y a f t e r n o o n for t h e - s p o r t i n g . S o if y o u ' r e a l a p s e d e x - d o n e r or y o u ' v e n e v e r q u i t e got r o u n d to it b e f o r e s i g n up in R C S U , I C U or o n a u n i o n n o t i c e b o a r d , a n d it really d o e s n ' t hurt! O n e final w o r d ; t i c k e t s for the R C S U A n n u a l D i n n e r are n o w o n s a l e , at ÂŁ16. H e l d at the F o r u m Hotel, with Willy R u s h t o n s p e a k i n g ; if y o u e n j o y e d

As P ic oc o n 4 approaches, it b r i n g s to me h a p p y m e m o r i e s of P i c o c o n 1. I've never quite been sure just what made P i c o c o n 1 so s p e c i a l , m a y b e it w a s the w a y M i k e M o r c o c k just d r o p p e d in, or C h r i s t o p h e r T o l k e i n sent us an o r i g i n a l o n e of his f a t h e r ' s d o o d l e s by w a y of an a p o l o g y for his a b s e n c e . It d i d l o o k , t h o u g h , a s if t h e r e w a s a l a r g e dirty rain c l o u d in o u r s i l v e r l i n i n g , but H a r r y H a r r i s o n d i d n ' t t u r n up in the e n d (he w a s t o o b u s y r i p p i n g S t a n i s l a v L e o n off at the t i m e , I s u p p o s e , in his s o o n to be p u b l i s h e d T h e Stainless Steel Kat saves a H a c k writer from b a n k r u p t c y yet a g a i n ' ) , but he d i d s e n d a g a m e s b o o k of what w o u l d have h a p p e n e d if he d i d . T h e talks were a sheer pleasure f r o m G e o r g e L u c a s ' s 'A S w i t c h in T i m e a n d I'll make Nine (Episodes)' and '101 D e p r a v e d T h i n g s to d o w i t h an E w o k or the S e a m i e r S i d e of S t a r W a r s ' . I've a l w a y s w o n d e r e d a b o u t certain n a m e s — H a n s Solo, Leia Organa—well now I k n o w . IC S F w o n t h e Science Fiction charades despite getting ' X L Y S B R H J C L L Y The U n p r o n o u n c a b l e ' as one title. T h e i r o p p o n e n t s w e r e

F r i d a y 24 J a n u a r y

e x a c t l y a d h e r e d to. T h e rules are:1 N o m e m b e r m a y vote for themselves. 2 The President and C h a i r m a n c a n v o t e for a n y b o d y e x c e p t e a c h other. 3 T h e m e m b e r sitting o p p o s i t e the S e c r e t a r y m u s t v o t e for t h e p e s o n s i t t i n g o n t h e i r left. 4 A n y m e m b e r sitting two places away from the T r e a s u r e r m u s t v o t e for t h e person sitting opposite them. 5 N o m e m b e r m a y v o t e for the O r d i n a r y Committee M e m b e r if t h e y are s i t t i n g next to h i m . If n o n e of t h e a b o v e r u l e s c o n t r a d i c t s e a c h other, a n d the winne r got four votes, w h o w o n ? S o l u t i o n s to m e at t h e F E L I X o f f i c e by 1.00pm T u e s d a y for t h e usual fivepound prize. P l e a s e feel f r e e to h a n d in comments, criticisms , and any interesting problems you come across. s t u m p e d by '-' a little k n o w w o r k b y t h e S w e d i s h 17th century proto-sf writer Otto B old . Live roleplaying was m u c h in e v i d e n c e but d u e to t h e f a i l u r e of T T A L T (Treasure Trap A r m s Limitation Talks) several more headless bodies were t r a n s p o r t e d to the b o w e l s of L i f e S c i , w e r e h o a r d s of g i b b e r i n g failed d o c t o r s w e r e u n l e a s h e d to p r a c t i c e t h e i r art. H o w e v e r wholesale slaughter was s t o p p e d by the b a n n i n g of T h a n g a n i v e the Inscrutable's fireball when C h e m i s t r y r e f u s e d to let h i m s i g n for t w e n t y litres of napalm. Arthur C Clark s e n t us a t e l e g r a m of c o n g r a t u l a t i o n s w h i c h he t h e n d e n i e d he e v e r s e n t (see his f o r t h c o m i n g s e r i e s of ' A r t h u r C C l a r k ' s Mysterious Messages'). S o w i t h f o n d m e m o r i e s of Piconon 1 I am completely c o n f i d e n t that P i c o c o n o n e vee will s u r p a s s e v e n its greatest heights. P S P i c o c o n o n e - v e e will take place on Saturday 15th F e b a n d will start at 1 0 a m (it will be r e p e a t e d via a t i m e - w a r p in 1857)

Sailing

T h e t e a m g a t h e r e d at dawn. The atmosphere was t e n s e , the s e n s e of determination showed on the s a i l o r ' s f a c e s . T h e d r a m a w a s a b o u t to u n f o l d . U p o n a r r i v a l at B r i s t o l , t h e t e a m p r e p a r e d to d o 11


battle. T h e c a p t a i n s p o k e . ' B a d n e w s . , o n e of t h e t e a m d i d n ' t m a k e it'. It w a s true, A p e w a s not t h e r e , t a k e n out b e f o r e t h e race even started. Just as g l o o m was d e s c e n d i n g on the team A n d r e a took control. ' A p e w o u l d not w a n t u s to b e like t h i s . L e t ' s w i n t h i s for h i m ! ' Motivation now reached new heights. O u r mission was simple-win. Battle c o m m e n c e d and IC set off with a n i m p r e s s i v e start. H o w e v e r , this w a s to be n o w a l k o v e r - B r i s t o l w e r e out f o r blood. Pete and Helen showed some impressive b o a t h a n d l i n g , but this m a t c h w a s g o i n g to r e q u i r e more than simply g o o d s a i l i n g . P h i l h a d the answer. ' P s c h o l o g i c a l w a r f a r e is needed; we must remove their c o n f i d e n c e . ' The team looked puzzled, but t h e y h a d learnt to h a v e respect for the C o m m o d o r e ' s ideas. W h e n the p l a n w a s r e v e a l e d t h o u g h , it w a s s t u n n i n g b o t h in its i n g e n u i t y a n d s i m p l i c i t y . W e w o u l d get B r i s t o l to c a r r y out t h e i r own destruction. T h e next r a c e C a r o l i n e , w i t h brilliant j u d g e m e n t , m a n o u v e r e d o n e of t h e B r i s t o l m e n to the p o s i t i o n w e w a n t e d s o that he e n s u r e d the o p p o s i t i o n ' s d e f e a t in a c r u c i a l r a c e . A s the d a y t u r n e d to d u s k , the t e a m c a m e a s h o r e - e x h a u s t e d but s a t i s f i e d that a g o o d j o b had been done. S a m s u m m e d it u p . 'This has been a tough d a y but by g o o d t e a m w o r k a n d a s e n s e of p u r p o s e , w e d i d w h a t w e c a m e h e r e for.' T h e team n o d d e d their h e a d s ; t h e y h a d d o n e it f o r Ape.

Cycling W h a t better w a y to s h a k e off the e f f e c t s of S a t u r d a y night than a nice, gentle bike ride? This S u n d a y we w e n t to S t a i n e s . D u e to a strong headwind and a s m a l l a m o u n t of r a i n , w e s h e l t e r e d in M a c D o n a l d s in S t a i n e s . S u i t a b l y (?) refreshed, we w o u n d our w a y b a c k , g r e a t l y a i d e d by the w i n d , a r r i v i n g in S o u t h Kensington shortly before 1 pm. S u n d a y r i d e s start f r o m B e i t A r c h at 1 0 a m . B r i n g s o m e m o n e y for food and a r a i l c a r d (if y o u ' v e g o t o n e ) in c a s e w e a t t e m p t something too ambitious! On Wednesday 12

a f t e r n o o n s w e g o for a s h o r t e r ride s t a r t i n g f r o m B e i t A r c h at 2 p m . All cyclists (commuters, tourists, road-racers, timetrialist, etc) are c a t e r e d f o r M e m b e r s take part in r a c e s and w e e k e n d tours as well as the r i d e s o n Wednesdays and Sundays. W e m e e t in S o u t h s i d e U p p e r L o u n g e at 1 2 . 3 0 p m o n T h u r s d a y s to d e c i d e w h e r e to ride to t h e following Sunday.

A R T F a c c e l e r a t e d out of the e s c a p e tube. The G a l c o p Vipers had a m a s s e d a r o u n d t h e exit of the C o r i o l i s s p a c e s t a t i o n - a d a n g e r o u s drugs trafficker was hiding inside and was e x p e c t e d to e s c a p e at a n y t i m e . T h e d i s t i n c t i v e h u m of the 0525 b e c a m e l o u d e r o v e r the w o r l d d a t a link. B a n k s of p u l s e l a s e r s g l o w e d in a n t i c i p a t i o n as missiles slowly lowered f r o m the b e l l i e s of t h e Vipers, primed and fixed on a target.

BUNAC

J a m e s o n l o o k e d up a l a r m e d , at the r o w u p o n r o w of v i p e r s . I n s t i n c t i v e l y he a c c e l e r a t e d and pulled up,away from the s p a c e s t a t i o n . C a t c h i n g his b r e a t h , he p r i m e d t h e b e a m laser, t u r n e d t i g h t l y o n t h e h o r d e of G a l c o p s h i p s , a n d o p e n e d fire.

Spend the summer in America H a v e y o u r air fare p a i d in a d v a n c e a n d get a w a g e . Y o u c o u l d s p e n d the entire s u m m e r in t h e S t a t e s by a p p l y i n g for o n e of t h e flowing two schemes. Bunacamp If y o u a r e g o o d o r p r o f i c i e n t in a n y o n e of t h e following areas, sports, w a t e r s p o r t s , m u s i c , arts, and crafts, s c i e n c e , pioneering, entertainments or dance. Even you could be a counsellor on an American Summer camp. Y o u get y o u r a i r f a r e p a i d in a d v a n c e for y o u a n d $250 to s p e n d at the e n d . A f t e r c a m p y o u c a n s p e n d u p to 5 weeks touring America. Camp If y o u w o u l d like to be i n v o l v e d in g e n e r a l c a m p maintenance and running then y o u c o u l d apply for this s c h e m e . T h i s w a y y o u get to s p e n d t h e s u m m e r on c a m p without being d i r e c t l y i n v o l v e d with the kids. Work American B y a p p l y i n g for this s c h e m e y o u c o u l d e a r n up to ÂŁ2000 d u r i n g the s u m m e r in p i z z a b a r s , d e p a r t m e n t s t o r e s etc. If y o u w o u l d like to f i n d out m o r e a b o u t a n y of these s c h e m e s then contact. S t e v e C a i n C h e m E n g 3, I C N A C Chairmen, Andrew Palmer Maths 3 I C N A C S e c r e t a r y . O r c o m e to t h e B U N A C stall in the J C R e v e r y T h u r s d a y at 1 2 . 4 5 p m .

Model Aircraft Commander Jameson l o o k e d o v e r the c o n t r o l of the n e w l y - e q u i p p e d I C M A C A R T F . H e h a d s p e n t the last of the R C C B u d g e t o n a n e w Fleet r a d i o s y s t e m , e n o u g h n i t r o to get h o m e , a m ilit ar y l a s e r a n d t h e r e w a s a t o n n e of a r c t u r i a n m e g a w e e d in the c a r g o b a y . H e p r e s s e d the l a u n c h b u t t o n a n d sat b a c k a s the

J a m e s o n plunged again i n t o t h e G a l c o p fleet, n o w c r o w d e d with debris from exploded space ships. He wasted a few more Vipers w i t h s h o r t b u r s t s f r o m his laser, a n d as he t u r n e d b a c k o n the fleet he g l a n c e d at his w a t c h : 10 to 1, T h u r s d a y . H e o n l y h a d ten m i n u t e s to get to t h e I C M A C m e e t i n g . C a l l i n g up the local chart on the N a v C o m p , h e set t h e c u r s o r o n S o u t h s i d e bar, Earth and h y p e r s p a c e d . W o u l d he get t h e r e before the T h o r g o i d s ?

Dramsoc It g e t s to W e d n e s d a y , a n d y o u ' r e s i t t i n g in y o u r r o o m c h e w i n g o n t h e r e m a i n s of the f a m i l y C h r i s t m a s C a k e f r o m 1966, just t h i n k i n g a b o u t t r y i n g the B l a c k F o r e s t C o n c r e t e C a k e of 1967 w h e n y o u s t o p a n d t h i n k , ' W h a t ' s it all f o r ? ' W h y d o e s m a r z i p a n taste like c a r p e t u n d e r l a y ? W h y isn't b i t i n g c h e r r i e s all its c r a c k e d u p to b e . A n d w h a t w o u l d it be like to be a Christmas cake? At least part of the a n s w e r m a y b e f o u n d at a Dramsoc Acting Workshop, o n W e d n e s d a y at 2.30. T h e n y o u c a n lear n all a b o u t the s t r a n g e w o r l d of a c t i n g a n d if y o u w a n t to improvise being a C h r i s t m a s c a k e , that's up to y o u . A l l y o u h a v e to d o is meet in the s t o r e o o m .

Parachuting Z ero hour. T h e twin lycomings bragised r e l e n t l e s s l y in t h e o l d d a w n air a s t h e first t e a m c a m e in fast a n d l o w , out of the

Friday 24 January

r i s i n g s u n . A t h o u s a n d feet b e l o w , the K e n t countrysid e slept on, b l i s s f u l l y u n a w a r e of t h e i n v a s i o n to f o l l o w . S i x t h o u s a n d feet a b o v e , t h e s e c o n d t e a m b u n d l e d in a n identical machine s t r u g g l i n g for a l t i t u d e b e f o r e o n e final run i n . 'Good morning H e a d c o r n , golf A l p h a X r a y B r a v o , run in f o r parachuting four passes. T w o zero'. 'Roger uniform Bravo. F o x y S i e r r a , s t a n d off ten minutes.' 'FS'. F i n a l c h e c k of static lines, helmets, g o g g l e s , t h e n the J u m p m a s t e r s q u i n t s out the o p e n d o o r at t h e g r o u n d b e l o w . ' F i v e left'. A flat s k i d d i n g t u r n , a s the pilot p i c k s up t h e r u n in heading. ' C u t M n the door.' The engine noise fades. A p a i r of l e g s is s l u n g o v e r t h e e d g e of the d o o r . S o m e w h e r e up front, a warning buzzer sounds. 'Now SMILE! OO!' 'One thousand, Two..' Mixed images. Green f i e l d s , b l u e s k y , t h e aircraft a p p e a r i n g to fall u p w a r d s . T h e n the b i l l o w i n g o r a n g e a n d w h i t e of m y p a r a c h u t e , spectacular paranomic v i e w s . D i r e c t l y b e l o w is t h e target a i r f i e l d , o b v i o u s l y o u r a r r i v a l h a s not c o m e a s a surpise, as a small group of f i g u r e s is c l u s t e r e d right in the m i d d l e of t h e d r o p zone waiting. The landing is s of t er t h a n e x p e c t e d . P i c k u p y o u r kit, a n d g o to i n v e s t i g a t e the m e n a n c i n g g r o u p of f i g u r e s in t h e c e n t r e of the f i e l d . T h e i r eyes have already returnd s k y w a r d s a s the s e c o n d aircraft r u n s in at e i g h t t h o u s a n d feet. E i g h t t i n y b o d i e s t u m b l e out of t h e s i d e , a n d float s l o w l y toward e a c h other. S o m e o n e is c o u n t i n g . ' L o o k e d like a t w o w a y b a s e , s o that's f o u r d o c k e d , five, w h o ' s that c l o s i n g now? Funnel!' At this last r e m a r k , the next f o r m a t i o n w h i c h h a d b e e n b u i l d i n g s e e m s to t u r n itself i n s i d e out, a n d b e c o m e s o n c e more eight individual J u m p e r s . S e c o n d ' s later e i g h t rainbow coloured canopies blossom. T h e y turn their attention to y o u . ' T h a t l o o k e d like a pretty g o o d first j u m p , w a n t a h a n d b a c k with y o u r kit?' IC P a r a c l u b is g o i n g to h o l d a first j u m p c o u r s e n e x t m o n t h . If y o u w o u l d like i n f o r m a t i o n c o n t a c t A l a s t a i r M a c l e o d , E E 3 . It's an e x p e r i e n c e I wouldn't _ w a n t y o u to m i s s . FELIX


Ten

Football

Pin C X W M 0 IC 1sts 4

Bowling IC 1 Brunei 9 Having been s h o w n up by the s e v e n y e a r o l d s p l a y i n g b e f o r e us w e w e r e q u i c k to s i g n t h e m u p with U C C A . H o w e v e r h o p e s of a w i n were quickly dashed when Brunei turned up with a full t e a m . H a n d i c a p p e d b y the a b s e n c e of 7 p l a y e r s a n d the p r e s e n c e of M a r t i n M o r r i s , IC m a d e a g o o d start w i n n i n g t h e A a n d B t e a m s first g a m e s , h e l p e d by g o o d s c o r e s from P Stewart and G W o n g . T h e C T e a m tried their b e s t not to e m b a r a s s B r u n e i t o o m u c h as t h e y s l i d g a l l a n t l y to a t h r e e - n i l defeat with a d i s t i n g u i s h e d rear g u a r d a c t i o n b y R Ingram. In t h e s e c o n d of t h e i r g a m e s the B T e a m were heavily beaten and were s a v e d f r o m a s i m i l a r fate by a g o o d performance by N B r i g h a m in t h e i r final g a m e . A s IC h a v e n o w o m e n t e a m (I w o n d e r w h y ? ) t h e y w e r e n o w 6-0 d o w n . T h e A team however prevented a c o m p l e t e w h i t e w a s h in the last g a m e w h e n C h r i s W h e e d o n m a n a g e d to n o s e u s in front. A t the e n d of the m a t c h o u r star p l a y e r B K w o k h o n o u r e d us w i t h his p r e s e n c e by t u r n i n g u p t w o h o u r s late. S p e c i a l m e n t i o n a l s o g o to E B a r f i e d l , S Barley and A Tuss, who m a n a g e d to t u r n u p . If y o u t h i n k y o u c a n d o better than this y o u w o u l d b e m o r e t h a n w e l c o m e to t u r n up o n W e d n e s d a y .

Rugby Wed 15 London Hospital London Hospital Sat 18 IC Football Wed 15 Charing Cross SOP IC IC IC Sat 18 St T h o m a s IC St T h o m a s Badminton IC Hockey Wed 15 Royal Holloway Sat 18 IC Chalfont

1sts 2nds

25 17

IC IC

1sts

23

Presidents XV

1sts 3rds 4ths 6ths

0 0 1 4 2

IC IC KQC RVC St M a r y s

2nds

4 3 1 4 5

1sts 4ths 2nds

1 3 5

IC UC IC

1sts 5ths 6ths

7 1 3

8

Guys

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2

RSM

2

2 0

Reading IC

1sts 4ths

S k i p p e r R i c h a r d Ellis s c o r e d (at last) f r o m a g o o d s e t - p i e c e a n d five m i n u t e s later M a r k M u e l l e r b l a s t e d t h e ball in off the p o s t . S t r a i g h t f r o m the restart a q u i c k 1-2 b e t w e e n J o h n Spencer and Richard E l l i s led to a s m a r t , a n d very m u d d y , goal from the latter. T h e final g o a l f r o m c a m e from Mark Mueller a g a i n , after a f e w

1sts 2nds

3 0 0

1sts 2nds 3rds

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4 8

deflections, making a convincing win and a good start to t h e n e w y e a r . M a n y t h a n k s to H u g h S o u t h e y f o r not d r i v i n g t h e m i n i b u s this w e e k . Team: Phil Choudhury, Ian Mace, Hugh Southey, Chris Harrison, Dave Ling, Dave Heslop, Paul Chandler, Mark Mueller, Richard Ellis (Capt), Jon Spencer, Nick Baggott, Per Dullforce.

A g o o d start after t h e C h r i s t m a s break with IC's new central defensive p a i r i n g of R o b C l a r k e a n d C h r i s E n g b e r g p r o v i n g very solid.

Hockey A very old photograph

Chalfont 0 IC 3rds 8 IC d o m i n a t e d t h i s g a m e right f r o m t h e start o n a very s o g g y , s l o p i n g pitch when Per Dullforce scored f r o m the e d g e of the ' D ' within 5 minutes. A n o t h e r 2 goals from Per from about 2 feet a w a y b o u g h t u p h i s hat-trick in r e c o r d t i m e . C h a l f o n t t h e n m a n a g e d to h o l d o n until h a l f - t i m e . IC subtley c h a n g e d their f o r m a t i o n f r o m 4 - 3 - 3 to 22-6 a n d the t a c t i c s p a i d off. Ex-captain and minibusdriver C h r i s Harrison scored from a short corner. FELIX

I C ' s first g a m e after C h r i s t m a s p r o d u c e d an e m p h a t i c v i c t o r y , their s e c o n d 4-0 w i n a g a i n s t C X W M this s e a s o n . IC s p e n t the first half e n t r e n c h e d in C X W M ' s half a n d d u l y t o o k the lea d after 15 m i n u t e s w h e n a G u y Poppy long throw was h e a d e d off by a d e f e n d e r into the p a t h of P a u l Bravery w h o s e falling v o l l e y f r o m the e d g e of t h e p e n a l t y b o x flew past the keeper. Despite continual pressure and several long range attempts including o n e 20 y a r d d r i v e f r o m A l e x L u n g h i w h i c h hit the p o s t , IC f a i l e d to i n c r e a s e their l e a d a n d r e a c h e d half t i m e l e a d i n g 1-0. ICs s e c o n d c a m e midway t h r o u g h the s e c o n d half when T o m Dutton's cross w a s o n l y half c l e a r e d a l l o w i n g A l e x L u n g h i to head home from 6 yards. Dave L y n n e m a d e the s c o r e 3-0 w h e n h e l a t c h e d o n to a t h r o u g h - b a l l f r o m Paul Bravery a n d drove the b a l l p a s t the a d v a n c i n g keeper. T h e C X W M keeper p r e v e n t e d IC f r o m i n c r e a s i n g their advantage with a superb save from Shaun Thomas' ferociously hit v o l l e y . IC c o m p l e t e d t h e s c o r i n g in t h e c l o s i n g m i n u t e s when T o m Dutton's corner was h e a d e d h o m e by Dave L y n n e , for his s e c o n d goal of t h e g a m e , w i t h G u y P o p p y m a r s h a l l i n g the b a l l of t h e g a m e .

to fill up

Team: N Tarn, B Goldsbrough, R Clark, C Engberg, M Bradley, T Dutton, S Thomas, P Bravery (Capt) A Lunghi, G Poppy, D Lynne

space

Wednesday Results Football Wed 22/1 KQC IC KQC Hockey Mon 20/1 RSM Wed 22/1 IC LSE RSM QEC

1sts 3rds 3rds

1sts

0 3 1

IC RFH IC

1

St G e o r g e s

1 3 2 2

L o n d o n Hospital Guilds KCH RCS

Friday 24 January

1sts 4ths

4 4 1

W e still n e e d m o r e s p o r t s w r i t e - u p s f o r t h i s p a g e s o if y o u c o u l d h a n d t h e m in b y 1.30pm o n M o n d a y t h e y s h o u l d get in. Also if y o u w a n t your W e d n e s d a y results printed b r i n g t h e m to t h e F E L I X o f f i c e o n W e d n e s d a y night.

13


2200h 301m1999kHz IC Yesterday A l a n Barnett l o o k s at the events a n d m u s i c a r o u n d C o l l e g e in F e b r u a r y 1979.

Tuesday

T h i s is t h e n e w s t y l e ' W h a t ' s O n ' p a g e . R e g u l a r e v e n t s will n o w b e p u b l i s h e d in a s e p e r a t e c a l l e n d e r g i v e n free in F E L I X e a c h t e r m . N e w e v e n t s will b e p u b l i s h e d w e e k l y a l o n g w i t h a n y c h a n g e s to regular events. In this w a y w e h o p e t h e n e w , ' o n e o f f e v e n t s w h i c h require m o r e publicity, will stand out. C l u b s a n d societies s h o u l d s u b m i t their e n t e r i e s a s u s u a l . T h i s t e r m s g u i d e t o r e g u l a r e v e n t s is o n p a g e 10.

1230h Jazz Room Jazz Club Big Band rehearsal. A l l S a x o p h o n i s t s , guitarists, trumpeters etc should come along.

1000h Concert Hall Opsoc Set Building. A l l welcome.

Holland Club P G Group Meeting over p l o u g h m a n ' s l u n c h e s to d i s c u s s various things incl. next years c l a i m / e s t i m a t e and the W o m e n ' s officer.

Sunday

1300h

1000h Concert Hall Opsoc Set Building. P l e a s e turn up.

1600h Concert Hall Opsoc Rehersal. Full cast.

Sunday

1230fi Above Stan's Stocsoc. M e e t i n g for all interested.

1930h Physics LT1 Wellsoc talk. O b s e r v e r ' diarist Peter H i l l m o r e talks about the b a c k s t a b b i n g worl d of g o s s i p c o l u m n i s t s . M e m b e r s free Concert Hall Opsoc Principal Rehearsal

Maths LT 340 Computer Algebra. A M o p s o c lecture by D r D a n M o o r e . A d m i s s i o n by m e m b e r s h i p (£1.00)

1330h Read Theatre You don't have to be Jewish a humanities lecture by Michael Freedland. Author, journalist a n d b r o a d c a s t takes a light-hearted look a t , J e w i s h life

1800h Union SCR Rhone Wine Tasting W i n e s from the R h o n e V alle y (in France!) are the subject of this wine tasting. O n l y £2.50 for m e m b e r s , £3.50 for n o n members

1930h Concert Hall Opsoc Rehearsal Full cast

PETER

r date with thfi amazingly History throws up tome miportasii boo* Tfce-ftrtt news strange heroes. There was a is that-fietaenaum in Australia fine, not so long ago, when hat parted obmpany with its Peter Wright was admired by y^**B*l director there over enjy • select group of rightdisagreements concemmg Mr wing patriots. A former senior Wright and his heroic revelaofficial of M15 and close frieno tions. -It teems that while of Chapman Pincher, he left everybody in London waa this country for self-imposed trying to keep ijuiet about the exile in Australia, complaming book, the Australian wandered to friends that there were ' tooround the Frankfort Book Fair many blacks' in this country. with a badge on his' jacket Just the sort of man you'd giving details of the book and expect any decent and rightits contents. minded liberal thinker to shun Things aren't going well on and avoid. And yet, and yet, he the legal front, either. Heine has suddenly become a hero to r mann has already asked for two large sections of the Left because of the book he's stock defensive reply). When adjournments in Australia writing about MI5, an orga- the Cabinet Secretary, Sir while it prepares its legal case. nisation he thinks is infested Robert Armstrong, tried to There's a worry that perhaps it with either Commie agents or stop the book in Australia, the has chosen the wrong court in dangerous liberals (I shouldn't defence counsel rubbished oiy which to fight the Governthink it has too many blacks). article, even though he knew it ment's action, centring round It's a funny old world when to be true (he later apologised whether Mr Wright has broken his MI5 contract by revealing villains become heroes. to me). And last week, Brian its secrets. Ever since I first revealed Mr Perman, the managing director Peering over the barricade Wright's book I've been of the publishers, Heinemann, nervously, I do hope the book attacked by the caring Left, told me how disgraceful and is published, if only because the with such accusations as: 'unhelpful' I was, and then Government is so anxious to ' Which side of the barricades refused to talk any more. stop it. But if it meant allying are you on ?' (The other side As I've got nothing to lose, I myself with Chapman Pincher, from Mr Wright tends to be my might as well bring you up to Fm not so sure.

Wellsoc Talk, Monday 1930h Physics LT1 E n t e r t h e w o r l d of t h e n e w s p a p e r g o s s i p columnist—parties, c h a m p a g n e , film-stars, sex a n d scandal. P e t e r H i l l m o r e , diar is t f o r t h e ' O b s e r v e r ' w i t h h i s c o l u m n ' P e n d e n n i s ' , t a l k s a b o u t t h e life of a n i n v e s t i g a t i v e reporter.

Wednesday

1245h Holland Club Malaysian lunch A d m i s s i o n £2

1415h Chem Eng Foyer Ten Pin Bowling

1430h Dramsoc Storeroom Acting Workshop see c l u b s page

1800h SCR Wargames General Meeting

Thursday

1230h Sample

the delights

of the wines

from the Rhone

Valley.

Southside Upper Lounge Cycling Club d e c i d e where to go on the f o l l o w i n g S u n d a y ' s ride. Jazz Room Jazz Club Meeting. A l l c o m m i t t e e members must attend

14

HlLLMORt

Friday 24 January

1245h 48 Princes Gardens Jonathon Porritt Director of F r i e n d s of the Earth and the G r e e n Party will be giving a talk o n t e c h n o l o g y a n d the green movement

1300h TV Lounges STOIC Newsbreak Film reviews, C o l l e g e news, city news, c l u b interests. Mopsoc Lecture o n ' S y m m e t r y , paths, g r o u p s and s o m e higher d i m e n s i o n a l analogues .

1330h 53 Prince's Gate Humanities Concert by M a d e l e i n e M i t c h e l l (violin) and K l a u s Z o l l (piano). S o n a t a s by B e e t h o v e n a n d Saint-Saens.

1800h TV Lounges STOIC Newsbreak F i l m reviews, C o l l e g e news, city news, c l u b interests. FELIX


l 'Lite is just a boil on the big toe of the Universe' as my old mate Igor Nedovitch, sports correspondent on the Valdivostock Gazzette and Advertiser, once said to me over a bottle of anti-freeze. Always a man with a sense of perspective and an alcohol problem, I think Igor (or Neddy as he was known to the lads at the Marshall Bulganin memorial tractor plant social club and pigeon circle) would have summed up his philosophy of life in the following manner. It doesn't matter if you live under a ruthless psychopathic dictatorship as long as you've got at least one pleasure in life so sit back, relax and have another G and T (Glycol and Tonic). What a guy, pity he forgot Andropov was a Moscow Dynamo fan when he wrote up their 3-0 hammering by Red Star Omsk. I still get the odd letter from out of the Gulag though. Well as I sit here and write this I just hope that the head of MI5 isnt heavily into jazz funk (not to mention the fact that life is too wonderful a thing to waste time getting deeply philosophical over and that if the system's screwing you, then you're a bit of a wimp if you don't try and fuck the system). I really didn't know where to start this week (as you may have guessed) till I noticed that tonight at Chelsea Town Hall sees the only London appearance of Robert Anton Wilson. Who? you may well say. Well back in 1976 there were published three books called the iliuminatus trilogy which became cult bestsellers. They are the definitive be-all-ami-end-all of the conspiracy paranoia genre, Jinking CIA, freemasons, UFQ's, the Kennedy assa si nation, the Mafia M i d the death ot er among others in a wacking sci-fi fantasy. Well the afore mentioned Mr Wilson was one of the authors, and ft is his Illuminates Rap that he presents alongside New York rock poet John Giorno this evening. If you've ever >>si*e had the tor.sp:ding to the reviews this wiU tickle your funny bone, bend your mind and chill your marrow at the same time. The other man on the bill, John Giorno, is also worth a mention. Even if you think poetry is a bit namby this man is worth a look. Delivering some outrageous material to the accompaniment of a 'post punk' b; h-t out of even some of the most vttriefic of the currently trendy ranting poets, in addition to his appearances at Chelsea Town Hall he is also on at the fCA Theatre this Sunday and at

FELIX

the Waterman* Arts Centre, Brentford on Tuesday next week. Giorno also features on an album out currently 'Diamond In The Mouth Of A Corpse' which includes Coil/Cabs/Sonic Youth, and on 'You're the Guy I want to Snare My Money With' which also includes Laurie Anderson. Another source of current inspiration is the Andy Kershaw show on late night Radio One on Thursdays. I recently bought the Vise to the Occasion' mini album from current favourites The Unholy Trinity, which is the first time in years I've really felt like buying * anything I've heard first on Radio One. The Unholy Trinity formed out of the remains of the Sid Presley Experience and play heavy rock and roil which seems to be somewhere between Cream and the Sex Pistols (this record should be in the Hatdane library by now). Next I come to a recent John Peel discovery. Half Mao, Half Biscuit did one of the fastest ever repeat sessions on that program. Any attempt at description of their album 'Back in the DHSS' is doomed to failure. This a masterpiece of alternative h this is a scorching social commentary, this a group I doesn't like Nery's Hughes... Man. Half Biscuit are the only group I know who would introduce a song with the line Jesus Christ, Come On Down!', and I quite frankly creased up at their rendition of Time Flys By (when I'm the driver of a train)'. And there is good news, Half Man Half Biscuit are doing two gigs (their 'only ever London gigs') at the Bull and Gate, Kentish Town on Tuesday 4th and Wednesday 5th February. The Bull and Gate is 50 yards from Kentish Town tube and the cost is £3. The gig starts at 7.30pm. Talking of records brings me on to record shops—somewhere I seem to spend a lot of time. If you only ever shop in Our Price and the Virgin Megastore then your musical tastes are doomed to be restricted by commercialism. There are in London a vast selection shops catering for all possible tastes and if you buy records you're wasting your time if yen don't browse a few of the more off beat ones sometime. Many sell secondhand records and here you may well find cheap bargains in good condition or records otherwise unavailable. H is important to inspect secondhand records before you buy and the more reputable places will insist you do this to avoid complaints, certainly none should , if a record looks dubious,.

Friday 24 January

even a tiny flaw, try asking to hear it played and if in doubt leave it. If you do buy records which have a cetain amount of dirt (as opposed to scratches) on you can try getting them cleaned professionally. Unilet in Bute Street, near South Ken station, will do this at 30p a record. The results can be quite good, although miracles can't be worked. Back to buying records. One place you must check out is Hotting Hilt Record and Tape Exchange who have several shops in the area, the best is in Notting Hilt Gate near the tube station and there is another just around the corner in Permbridge Road. If you are desperate to dispose of an old Wham! album or two they also buy, but the price won't be very good (even for Wham!) although you might get more in terms of part exchange. The Notting Hill area is very well provided for in terms of records, especially less commercial music The doyen of the independent record labels, Rough Trade, have their shop (the record company is elsewhere these days) in Talbot Road, just off the Portabello Read. They specialse in all independant labels, not just their own and also have a wide selection of fanzines and general record associated 'gubbins'. Just the other side of the Portabello Road in Blenheim Crescent is Plastic Passion who seem to be one of the best specialist second-hand stores in London. Be warned they know their stuff so you are unlikely to get many super cheapo bargains, but if you are looking for somewhere to find that last obscure Stranglers single to complete your collection or a deleted Frank Zappa album, this is the place. If you are just looking for a cheap bargain, then instead of going along to the rather dissappointing Tower Records, you might try Cut Price Records above Jean Machine, High Street Ken who actually seem to have quite a good selection of bargains sometimes Record collecting seems to be the sort of casual bobby that can develop into an obsession, so be warned. I know of peeple rushing round searching for albums so rare they weren't even recorded. The American (?) group the Residents recorded an album called Hot Available' which in typical style they did not release (you think I'm joking). Well this week 111 try and finish writing this before I get tired and start slagging people off. In the words of that great Albanian mountain cyclist Eugene Zhog 'running over Iguanas really chokes np your wheels*.

15


Disarmament Talk

O n T u e s d a y at 1.15pm Monsigneur Bruce Kent s p o k e to a b o u t 100 p e o p l e in M e c h a n i c a l E n g i n e e r i n g l e c t u r e t heat r e 220 a b o u t C N D a n d it's role in n u c l e a r d i s a r m a m e n t . D u r i n g his 20 m i n u t e s talk M g r . K e n t c o n d e m n e d t h e u s e of n u c l e a r w e a p o n s in d e t e r r a n c e , c l a i m i n g that the present g o v e r n m e n t ' s d e f e n c e p o l i c i e s c o u l d be best d e s c r i b e d a s s u i c i d e . M g r . K e n t s a i d that the w o r l d h a s n e v e r b e e n in a better p o s i t i o n to r e d u c e a r m s levels o n all s i d e s a n d , w i t h t h e a i d of m o d e r n s p y s a t e l l i t e s , to e n s u r e that all a g r e e m e n t s a r e u p h e l d . H e s a i d that t h e r e c e n t a r m s t a l k s in G e n e v a s h o w that the R u s s i a n s a r e m o r e w i l l i n g t h e n e v e r to finalize s u c h agreements. When asked about President Reagan's S t r a t e g i c D e f e n s e Initiative (Star Wars'), Mgr. Kent was fast to air h i s v i e w s that it w a s a w a s t e of t i m e a n d m o n e y , s a y i n g that n o s u c h s y s t e m c o u l d be 1 0 0 %

effective a g a i n s t all t y p e s of nuclear weapons. He reiterated t h e o p i n i o n that the m o n e y s p e n t o n S t a r W a r s c o u l d b e better s p e n t on technical research more d i r e c t l y relevant to s o c i e t y . Mgr. Kent was highly c r i t i c a l of J a n e ' s D e f e n s e Weekly who had published a r e p o r t c l a i m i n g that t h e Greenham C o m m o n Peace c a m p had been infiltrated by R u s s i a n agents. He c o n s i d e r e d this a massive s l u r o n the w o m e n ' s c a m p a i g n at G r e e n h a m a n d w a s c o n c e r n e d that s u c h u n l i k e l y r u m o u r s h o u l d be b r o u g h t to t h e a t t e n t i o n of the w h o l e n a t i o n o n t h e f r o n t p a g e s of T u e s d a y morning's Press. In s u m m i n g u p his talk, M g r . K e n t c o n t i n u e d his a t t a c k o n B r i t i s h M e d i a by c l a i m i n g that the s h o w i n g of t h e f i l m ' W h o D a r e s W i n s ' o n ITV o n B o x i n g Day was a deliberate a t t e m p t to u n d e r m i n e the w o r k of C N D in t h i s country.

Residents Revolt Representatives from T i z a r d H a l l have sent a letter to P e t e r H a l l w o r t h , M a n a g i n g S u r v e y o r of Residences, outlining the problems w h i c h have been e n c o u n t e r e d by s t u d e n t s d u r i n g t h e c o n s t r u c t i o n of s t a i r c a s e k i t c h e n s in S o u t h s i d e . A m o n g the d i f f i c u l t i e s l i s t e d by S t e v e N o r t o n , t h e C h a i r m a n of T i z a r d H a l l C o m m i t t e e , are t h e d a i l y c l o s u r e of t h e existing kitchen between 8.30am and 4.30pm, a n d t h e l a c k of w a r n i n g g i v e n to residents regarding areas to be c l o s e d off. S t u d e n t s have c o m p l a i n e d about the r e m o v a l of g a m e s m a c h i n e s to a n a r e a w h e r e t h e y i n t e r r u p t v i e w e r s in the T V R o o m , and the general d i s t u r b a n c e c a u s e d by w o r k m e n in the early morning. Mr Norton claims that the b u i l d i n g w o r k is b e h i n d s c h e d u l e , a n d is c o n c e r n e d that t h e d i s t u r b a n c e s will e v e n t u a l l y r u n in to t h e s u m m e r t e r m , w h e n students require quiet for e x a m revision.

Green Response In t h e i r ' r e s p o n s e to t h e Green Paper' College a u t h o r i t i e s state that t h e y e x p e c t a n y c u t s in f u n d s f o r u n i v e r s i t i e s to affect I C less t h a n t h e a v e r a g e , in v i e w of t h e fact that Imperial has m o r e than o n c e e x p a n d e d to m e e t t h e G o v e r n m e n t ' s d e m a n d s for p r o d u c t i o n of m o r e qualified scientists, engineers and technologists. Imperial's ' a c k n o w l e d g e d p o s i t i o n as an outstanding research centre' s h o u l d also protect it to s o m e extent d e s p i t e t h e o v e r a l l c u t of 1 0 % for the country's university s y s t e m e n v i s a g e d in t h e Green Paper. The response, however, also s t a t e s that a n y c u t s w h a t s o e v e r will a d v e r s e l y affect t h e f u n c t i o n i n g of I C , b o t h in t e a c h i n g a n d research.

Exhibition Duo playing at the Jazz C l u b New Year's Hop on Wednesday. T h e Hop featured 4 College bands and was attended by about one hundred people. 16

T h e r e will be an e x h i b i t i o n of p a i n t i n g s a n d prints b y E d n a L u m b in t h e C o n s o r t Gallery, Sherfield Building, f r o m J a n u a r y 28 until February 21.

Friday 24 January

Wardens Change Student Residence C o m m i t t e e have proposed m a j o r c h a n g e s to the w a y w a r d e n s are a p p o i n t e d . At p r e s e n t w a r d e n s of h o u s e s are p o s t g r a d u a t e s a n d w a r d e n s of h a l l s are staff. S R C s e e k s to r e m o v e t h e d i s t i n c t i o n , a n d a d v e r t s for w a r d e n s will in f u t u r e s a y that the p o s t s are o p e n to a n y m e m b e r of C o l l e g e . A l l w a r d e n s will be a p p o i n t e d by a s i x m e m b e r committtee with r e p r e s e n t a t i v e s of t h e current wardens, C o l l e g e and the U n i o n . S R C are a l s o s e e k i n g to a p p o i n t w a r d e n s initially for t h r e e y e a r s . T h e n e w m e t h o d of s e l e c t i n g w a r d e n s will be tried w h e n t h e w a r d e n of S o u t h w e l l H o u s e is c h o s e n . A p p l i c a t i o n s for this p o s t close today.

Day Of Protest S t u d e n t s all o v e r t h e c o u n t r y will be s t a g i n g protest actions today against the G o v e r n m e n t ' s p r o p o s a l s for e d u c a t i o n . F o l l o w i n g the a n n o u n c e m e n t of a 2 % i n c r e a s e in g r a n t s , w h i c h fails to m a t c h i n f l a t i o n , t h e G o v e r n m e n t recently a n n o u n c e d p l a n s to r e m o v e students' eligility to c l a i m benefits during the short vacations. The nationwide actions h a v e b e e n i n s t i g a t e d by t h e N a t i o n a l U n i o n of S t u d e n t s . I C U h a s o r g a n i s e d its o w n p e t i t i o n , a n d w i l l be leafletting outside H a r r o d s this l u n c h t i m e . P r o t e s t e r s s h o u l d meet in t h e Mechanical Engineering f o y e r at 1 2 . 3 0 p m .

Cup Win I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e R U F C 1st X V have r e a c h e d t h e final of t h e G u t t e r i d g e C u p . IC Defeated Bedford and Royal Holloway New C o l l e g e by 13 p o i n t s to 6 at Harlington on W e d n e s d a y . Flanker Steve Parker s c o r e d t h e o n l y try of t h e game, and Neil Holland kicked three penalites. T h e f i n a l is to be h e l d at M ot s pu r Park on S u n d a y M a r c h 2. T h e r u g b y c l u b is h o p i n g to a r r a n g e t r a n s p o r t for s u p p o r t e r s . FELIX


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