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The Newspaper of Imperial College Union Despite

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F E L I X ,

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BRIAN TURNSBumper Week for Thieves at IC THE SCREW The Rector has revealed that if the plans to charge IC students for use of the Science Museum Library go ahead, the library's rent will be drastically increased, says the Union's External Affairs Officer Simon Rodan. In last week's F E L I X the . p r o p o s a l s to charge students t h i r t y pence per b o o k were described, and the article went o n to d e s c r i b e the U n i o n ' s o f f i c i a l protest at this. L o r d F l o w e r s has now t o l d I C U President Stephen Goulder that he o p p o s e s the c h a r g e s a n d a d d e d t h a t i n v i e w o f the Government's policy on further education spending, the College w o u l d have to re-assess its expenditure on certain external institutions—unless the proposals were shelved. M r Rodan has interpreted this as meaning that the library's overheads, which u n t i l now have been heavily subsidised by the College, would rise suddenly.

Lord Flowers: reassessing expenditure on certain external institutions.

There has been a record number of thefts in the College in the past two weeks, despite repeated warnings from the Security department and a safety-conscious speech from the Rector. Since L o r d Flowers' introductory speech to freshers on October 4, six bicycles, seven wallets, a n d v a r i o u s c h e q u e books, cards, purses and items of electrical equipmen t have been stolen. The total value of the bicycles alone is over ÂŁ600, and C h i e f Security Officer Geoffrey Reeves is requesting all students who park their bicycles in the College to register them at the Security Office on Level 1 of Geoffrey Reeves, Head of IC the Sherfield Building next week. Security. Students should give a short d e s c r i p t i o n o f their m a c h i n e , description of their machines at including make, colour and all. frame number. This will make So far, bicycles have been recognition and recovery of s t o l e n f r o m i n f r o n t o f the bicycles a great deal easier if they C o l l e g e b u i l d i n g , f r o m the are stolen; at present very few r a i l i n g s to w h i c h t h ey were owners can give an accurate continued on page 3.

In a letter to M r Goulder last week, College Secretary John Smith said that he had not heard of the Union's protest until he read F E L I X , but that he will be happy to liaise with the Union in any further action that they may wish to take. At present the library occupies a rent-free site on campus, and I C pays a l l its h e a t i n g a n d lighting bills. The proposed additional charge is the result of a report by Sir Derek George Rayner (a director of Marks & Spencer) who has been appointed by the Government to look into reducing public sector spending. No.

6231

The Science Museum Library:

charges of 30p per book for IC students?

iFriday, October 15, 19821

I F r e e !


Welfare Officer Rape Alarms New batch now in. G o and see Christine Teller for one of these at l u n c h t i m e s i n the U n i o n Office. T w o points: a) they can be very dangerous, and b) they are to be taken seriously. So don't play. Southside Security There is little point in protecting residents by locking the doors at 6:00 if the system is not adhered to. It is your business to ask s o m e o n e w h o hangs a r o u n d outside until you have got the d o o r open a n d nips i n , just where they are going. Please take it seriously, or is it that you enjoy being r e m i n d e d about locking your rooms even if you are going to the loo?

Honorary Scribblings Parking Permits See list elsewhere in F E L I X (please tell me if any of the detail^ are wrong!) Desperate appeals up until next F r i d a y — but your only chance is someone who no longer wants a permit— and there is still a Reserve List for deserving cases. Permits should be available from the U n i o n Office. Those for zones w i t h i n the College Barrier will also need a key card, f o r w h i c h a £ 5 d e p o s i t is required. If at any time during the term you find your place occupied by someone else's car D O N O T park in the nearest available space so that a domino effect of misparking occurs, D O N O T park in front of it so that no-one can get past, I N S T E A D go and see the traffic warden at the gate, or, if he is doing his rounds, the security officer in Sherfield and get directions to the Visitor's C a r Park on the southern side of College. The traffic warden will then also know to stick a large, difficult to remove, sign over the offender's car window Key cards for out of hours parking will be available from the Chief Security Officer (room 165, Sherfield) for a deposit of £2. O l d key cards for the Prince Consort R o a d barrier, are now defunct and those who have still got these cards might as well return them and get their deposit back. Page 2

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U N I O N OFFICERS! Gaysoc Rag N o great developments. I've had very little feedback on this, but Chairman I'll give it a little longer. Fire Doors Falmouth Keogh balcony is now sorted out. Thanks to the guy who told me about Beit but the door there is apparently O K . Office Hours As a trial run I will try to be available in the U n i o n Office from about 12:45 to 1:30 on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday for the next couple of weeks. Anyone who wants to chat to me about anything is welcome to drop in then. Advance notice would be appreciated if possible. I've a pigeonhole in the U n i o n Office, or you can get in touch via Physics letter-racks. Cheers. Jon Barnett

Elections Nomination forms are currently up on the U n i o n Noticeboard (to the right of the central staircase in the U n i o n Building) for the following posts: two ordinary members of the U n i o n Finance Committee; two ordinary members of the Permanent Working Party (who should be in their first year at College); Deputy President of Imperial College U n i o n ; Publicity Officer of Imperial College U n i o n ; Secret a r y to the I C U A c a d e m i c Affairs Committee; one ordinary member of I C U A c a d e m i c Affairs Committee; two ordinary members of I C U C o m m u nity Action G r o u p . Papers are also up, in the respective departments, for the d e p a r t m e n t a l representatives (Dep Reps) of Management Science and Civil Engineering. Union Finance Committee: considers claims by clubs and societies for Capital Expenditure (eg Boat C l u b — b o a t s , Chess Club—chess sets). Permanent Working Party: investigates topics referred to it by the U n i o n Council and also other areas it considers relevant to IC students. Members also sit on Council. Deputy President: N o t necessarily a sabbatical post (it was only made one a few years ago) the D P is mainly concerned with r u n n i n g a n d u p k e e p o f the U n i o n Building and U n i o n Services (eg games machines, Southside S h o p , B o o k s h o p ) . C o n t r o l s key a l l o c a t i o n and d i s c i p l i n e . M u s t be able to handle financial matters.

The largest part of the money raised by Rag last year has gone to the National Deaf Children's Society, who have been buying r a d i o - h e a r i n g aids which put deaf children in better touch with their teachers and parents. We have had twenty letters over the summer from branches of N D C S , parents and some fromk the children, saying thanks to everyone at IC for raising the money. Here's an example: Dear Students M y name is K i m . I am eight years old. I have just received a radio hearing aid for which you raised the funds. I can't tell you how delighted I was when I opened the parcel, and what a difference it will make when I return to school. Publicity Officer: Responsible for publicising U n i o n General Meetings and for a p p r o v i n g posters to be put up by societies. G e n e r a l l y needs talent for graphics/slogans and approximately two spare nights, three times a term. Academic Affairs Committee: Handles suggestions and comp l a i n t s a b o u t the l e c t u r i n g system and degree process in general. Organises q u e s t i o n naires and coordinates these and staff/student committee meeting results. Community Action Group: Its object is the " p r o m o t i o n o f student awareness and involvement in programmes of community service and action of all kinds". Apart from the administration side that this group has, most members are also active h e l p e r s i n the p l a y g r o u n d scheme, soup run or one of the other activities that this group coordinates. Departmental Representatives: Coordinate some of the social a c t i v i t i e s a n d the a c a d e m i c committees within the department a n d is r e s p o n s i b l e fo r representing the students views in the department. S/he should thus be somewhat of a diplomat. Sits on the Academic Affairs Committee and Council (which looks after the internal running of the U n i o n and is responsible for suggesting policies to the Union). Union General Meetings Autumn term: Tues Oct 26 (Hustings for D P ) ; Tues Nov 9; Tues Dec 7.

. O c t o b e r 15,

19821

I am sure you must all have worked very hard to raise the money for this hearing aid, and in return I can only promise that I won't forget your kindness and I will continue to work very hard at my schoolwork. Best wishes. Love from K i m . This year we'll still be giving to N D C S , but the amount will probably be smaller due to the hassles a b o u t l i c e n c e s . R a g Week has in the past been in N o v e m b e r a n d been a great time—but not raised too much money. This year it's going to be inspiring, to give time to get some sponsored events going— and will be voider for Exec Torture! W e ' l l s t i l l be c o l l e c t i n g t h r o u g h o u t the y e a r — d o n ' t forget to wink your tiddle on Saturday, but for some of the collections, the money will go straight to the charities instead of through our accounts. Spring term: T u e s F e b 1; Thurs March 3 (Hustings for Sabbatical Elections); Thurs March 10 (Results). Summer term: Tues M a y 3; Tues M a y 24 (Annual General Meeting). Deadline for motions to next U G M is Tuesday October 19 for motions to be printed in Exec News is T O D A Y . Council Though, unless elected to, you may not take part in the running of Council anyone is allowed to attend anyone is a l l o w e d to attend any U n i o n M e e t i n g (unless it goes i n t o ' c l o s e d s e s s i o n ' to d i s c u s s sensitive business) as an observer. A n observer must declare his or her presence to the chairman before the m e e t i n g s t a r t s . C o u n c i l generally meets at 6:00pm and provisional dates for the autumn term are Tuesday October 19, M o n d a y N o v e m b e r 15 a n d Monday December 13.

Waiters/Waitresses Still needed for Commemoration Ball on Thursday October 28. (Your chance to spill soup on the I C U President?). See me for details. Voting Schedule Copies of this and the Standing O r d e r s for U n i o n G e n e r a l Meetings (tells you, in excessive, pedantic detail how an IC U G M should be run) should be available from the Union Office, bear with me if they are not—my (timewise) workload is not light. Mary Freeman ICU Honorary Secretary

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continued from front page. c h a i n e d , a n d even f r o m the balcony of Linstead H a l l . Bike thieves c o m e i n three categories: the c a s u a l t h i e f w h o w i l l steal any k i n d o f m a c h i n e f o r his o w n use; the d r u g a d d i c t w h o takes risks to steal a n y t h i n g that w i l l raise m o n e y ; a n d , the p r o f e s s i o n a l gangs w h o are responsible for about 8 0 % o f a l l thefts. T h e s e p r o f e s s i o n a l s use b o l t cutters that they c a r r y a r o u n d i n soft bags u n t i l they see a s u i t a b l y expensive bicycle. T h e y then p u t the b a g o n the g r o u n d next to the c h a i n a n d cut this t h r o u g h a hole i n the b a g ; this takes a b o u t five seconds. T h e n they w h e e l the b i k e a w a y a n d l o a d i n t o a nearby parked v a n . G e n e r a l l y t a k i n g five o r six m a c h i n e s f r o m one area before m o v i n g o n t o sell t h e m ; C l u b R o w (near Petticoat L a n e ) is a n o t o r i o u s bicycle-market. S o f a r , the o n l y l o c k that has p r o v e d i m m u n e to bo l t- c u tte r s is the Citadel, b u t this costs o v e r £20. M r Reeves is at present considering buying a large q u a n t i t y o f these l o c k s a n d h i r i n g them o ut to students, b u t there m a y be c o m p l i c a t i o n s over C i t a d e l ' s i n s u r a n c e scheme; they u n d e r t a k e to repay the f u l l v a l u e of any machine stolen while fastened w i t h their l o c k , a n d as this has never h a p p e n e d i n B r i t a i n , they c a n a f f o r d to d o this. A l t h o u g h there are lightfingered students seeking to supplement their grants by s t e a l i n g , a n d at least o n e m e m b e r o f C o l l e g e staff has used keys to g a i n access to l o c k e d r o o m s i n o r der to steal, most

Small Ads • Has a n y o n e s e e n a light g r e e n Raleigh Shopper bike with a white basket on the back? Missing from Falmouth. Please contact Sally Clasper, Zool 2. • W o u l d the person who removed a black and decker electric drill from Flat 218, Hamlet Gdns on Sat Oct 9 either return it directly or via Mech Eng desk. •' L o st' — As I was warned it would be — at Freshers' Fair — one dirty, light b l u e , c a g o u l ( w at erp ro of j a c k e t ) . Reward of £5 for return of Berghaus Lightning Goretex Jacket. Spike (Mark Wilkins), Elec Eng 3. • Key f o u n d in B o t / Z o o C o m m o n Room, afternoon Wed Oct 13, please see Mrs Vary in Bot/Zoo Common Rm, if you think it belongs to you. • F o u n d at Life Sci Party: one watch, one shirt, one anorak. To recover, please contact Life Sci Office or Peter Burt, LS2. •If the person who left the carpet in 3B4 B S H does not claim it by next Friday, I shall trim it so it fits, R Bloxham, Chem Eng 2.

FEUX |

thefts are the w o r k o f p r o f e s s i o n a l pilferers w h o operate o n l y i n C o l l e g e s . S i t u a t e d as it i s , I C is p a r t i c u l a r l y v u l n e r a b l e t o these w a l k - i n thieves, w h o n ot only pocket anything of value, rifling unattended jackets a n d bags, but also enter u n l o c k e d offices a n d search d r a w e r s f o r cheque books and cash. A cheque b o o k , w i t h o u t c a r d , is c u r r e n t l y w o r t h £25 o n the b l a c k m a r k e t , where it is s o l d to ' k i t e flyers' w h o use t h e m w i t h fake cards to b u y g o o d s . I C security frequently receives telephone calls f r o m suspicious retailers w i t h i n h o u r s o f a cheque b o o k being stolen.

Lonely Alliance O n l y five h u n d r e d p e o p l e t u r n e d up on W e d n e s d a y for the Educational Alliance Rally, for w h i c h the U n i v e r s i t y o f L o n d o n U n i o n h a d forecast an attendance of at least a t h o u s a n d . I n spite o f a n extensive b u t d i s o r g a n i s e d a d v e r t i s i n g c a m p a i g n at I C , o n l y nine students f r o m I m p e r i a l participated, including U n i o n President Stephen G o u l d e r a n d External Affairs Officer S i m o n Rodan. T h e m a r c h e r s started f r o m L i n c o l n ' s I n n F i e l d s at 11:30am u n d e r heavy r a i n a n d e q u a l l y heavy p o l i c e escort ( P o l i c e h a d forecast 3,000 m a r c h e r s ) a l t h o u g h the atmospher e t h r o u g h •out was p e a c e f u l . O n a r r i v a l at C o u n t y H a l l , W e s t m i n s t e r , the m a r c h e r s were addressed by S i r • L o s t : one academic affairs officer, goes under the pseudonym of Brian Schindler. Was last seen in Chem Eng dept last June. Please return to C & G Union Office if found. NB: Brian may be attempting to grow a beard. •Tennis Club 'Trials' session will be h e l d on W e d O c t 20 at 1:00pm Linstead courts. Everyone welcome. This is N O T for team selection. •Spare room in Kennington flat about 20 minutes away by tube and 5 min walk to station. Space a bit cramped but only £17.50pw and split bills. Sex unimportant. Ring John 'B', 582-6773 eves 6:00-8:00, not Mon or Thurs. • D o u b l e Room (in flat) nr Manor Hse tube, £15pw each. Phone 802-4423 after 7:00pm, ask for Charlie or Sue. • 1 male student required to share double room in flat for 6 in Hamlet G d n s . C o n t a c t A n d y Hurford, via Mech Eng letter-racks. • P e r s o n or pair needed to share College head tenancy in Hamlet Gdns. Rent approx £20pw. Available now. C o n t a c t A d a m R o s e , 209 Hamlet Gdns, Hammersmith, tel 748-3655. •Dyslexic, colour blind, lazy eye? The Biophysics Section is carrying out research into dyslexia, colour blindness and amblyopia. If you have any of the above and want to help with some interesting and paid experiments, please contact Ian Holliday or Isobel Hondricks, Rm 714 Physics, int 2925.

President-Stephen Goulder leads the tC contingent at Wednesday's Education Alliance rally. Geoffrey Drain of N A L G O ( w h o is also o n the B o a r d o f Governors of Queen Elizabeth C o l l e g e ) . T h e r e then f o l l o w e d speeches from F r e d Jarvis ( G e n e r a l Secretary of the N a t i o n a l U n i o n of Teachers) a n d N e i l S t e w a r t (President o f the N a t i o n a l U n i o n o f Students). T h e meeting dispersed at 1:30pm. • A r e you 21 or over and have you had a clean driving licence for three years? If so why not help us occasionally on Tusday and Friday evenings with the Soup Run. We will pay for you to take the Union Test and will pay for any d a m a g e i n c u r r e d by d a n g e r o u s drivers in London. Please come to Community Action Group meeting on Monday at 12:30pm in IC Rag C o m mittee Room or contract Brian Cross, Physics 3. • U L U Lifesaving. Anyone interested in learning, teaching or competing at U L U should contact Miss V Hammond, B o i c h e m 3 or C D Meller, Biochem 2. •Situations Vacant: Builders of Lord Mayor's Show float, and co-ordinator of builders required. Possible chance to say ' h e l l o ' to mum on T V for suitable applicants. Apply to C & G Union Office. •Life Sci textbooks for sale: Intro to Animal Behaviour—Manning £5: Polysaccharide Shapes—Rees £1.50; Enzyme Structure and Mechanism— Fersht £5; Enzyme Kinetics—Engel £1.50; Physical Biochemistry—Van Holde £6; Physical Biochemistry— F r e i f e l d e r £ 7 ; C o n t r o l of E n z y m e Activity—Cohen £ 1 . T o buy, phone G C Allen, 852-4880. • S e t of Thermodynamics notes for Aero 2 course required (preferably unbumt). Contact A Nismo, Aero 2B.

l O c t o b e r 15,

1982

The E d u c a t i o n a l A l l i a n c e was f o r m e d e a r l i e r this year i n a n a t t e m p t to c o m b a t the g o v e r n m e n t ' s s p e n d i n g c u t s at a l l levels o f e d u c a t i o n . It represents teachers, s t u d e n t s , lecturers a n d

all non-academic University staff. T h i s was their first r a l l y i n c o n j u n c t i o n w i t h the U n i v e r s i t y of L o n d o n U n i o n . •Vauxhall Viva, 4dr saloon deluxe model, radio, towbar, J reg, Mot til Dec, g o o d c o n d i t i o n , reliable car, £200ono. Contact Cathie Bull, Man Sci pigeonhole or Sovereign Hotel Rm 118, Earls Court Rd, 370-4466 (eves). •Datsun Cherry 100A, L reg, 5,500 miles, long MoT, £400ono. Phone 9047500. •Renault 4, M reg, condition as new, taxed, full year's MoT, fantastic offer at £525. Contact M Komondouros, Maths 3. • S u z u k i G5750, V reg, low mileage, exceptionally g o o d c o n d i t i o n , 4-1, Konis, Pirellis, £795. Ring Oliver on int 3818 or 370-4984 (eves). • Y a m a h a X3650, W reg, 12,000 miles with crossbow equip, twin headlamp, fairing in u n i q u e c a n d y blue plus beige seat. Must be seen. £1,100ono. Contact D Thomas, Mech Eng U G letter-racks. • H o n d a CB400N, T reg, 2,700 miles, 12mths tax and M o T , one owner, £440ono. Contact G Muggeridge, Elec Eng 4. •Motorcycle Suzuki TS100, V reg. Contact A A Pace, Mines letter-racks. •Party music supplied at reasonable rates. 'Streets of London' a speciality. Contact Jon Bamet, Keogh End. •Bassist wanted to complete rock band. Must have gear and no beginners. Contact J Pay, Pet Eng 2 or Y Shirakawa, Chem 2 via letter-racks.

Page3


Advanced Contraception Dear Martin Although I greatly appreciate the venture of F E L I X into the Welfare field last week with the photograph of advanced contraceptive equipment, I was disappointed that there were not more descriptive details in the caption to the photo. I would like to correct this by making the following facts known through your columns (or in F E L I X if you find it too painful). Firstly, it must be pointed out that the torch is not an essential part of the equipment, but if it is to fee included then instructions

for use must be followed to the letter. These things are best demonstrated so I am offering to demonstrate correct operation of a torch if anyone approaches me w i t h a c u r r e n t c o p y o f FELIX. It was thoughtless of you to omit to say that contraception is always improved if both partners use protection. Y o u should therefore have pointed out that you were in fact illustrating only the e q u i p m e n t d e s i g n e d f o r the m a l e . A n e q u i v a l e n t is also a v a i l a b l e for females and is s t r o n g l y r e c o m m e n d e d . It consists of India rubber longjohns, perspex Liberty bodice and damp galoshes. I do not h o w e v e r k n o w where such garments can be obtained. I hope in the future there will be more consultation before this sort of project is repeated by F E L I X but I must commend you on your initiative. Yours in an advanced state of decay, Jon Barnett

F o u l Fare Dear FELIX Er I d o n ' t like to ask awkward questions...but then again—I didn't design it, I just use it, so how can I be expected to know? What's happened to

the Great New Refectory Outlet we were all expecting? The Refectory has been put in another room. The set of plastic tables has been replaced by another set of plastic tables. The walls are another colour....but what's the difference? It's just as inefficient. The food's just as bad. The same bored women serve it up and it's still as expensive! Maybe it's just me—maybe I missed the article e x p l a i n i n g what the differences are? Hazel Cheesbrough

Ents and Mines Dear Sir I write as a relieved Minesman following the huge success of all the Mines' freshers' events of last week. This success could have been possibly jeopardised by the abominable attempt by those p u r v e y o r s o f false self-gratification IC Ents, who attempted to lead freshers astray as early as Sunday evening by selling their own 'all encompassing moneysaving tickets.' This attempt to p e r v e r t I C freshers (to my dismay, even some RSMfreshers) before the rest of us have even had a chance to get our hands on them. Fortunately we were able to have the foresight to ban the

sale o f t i c k e t s i n R S M a n d organise the passing on of those tickets that had been bought by R S M freshers unsuspectingly on the S u n d a y , to other unsuspecting freshers (RCS). I would like to finish by saying this is not a slag on the quality or content of any of the IC Ents freshers' events, but simply on the way in which the tickets were sold, and the fact that R S M was not asked in any way to contribute to those ev ent s . A bit biased, don't you think? Yours John Eagleson RSMU

Poison i n the Poison Dear Sir I wonder how many of your readers have heard about the h o r r i b l e T y l e n o l scare which took place in the U S A only last week—seven lives were claimed in the Chicago area by cyanide having been put in capsules in p l a c e o f the v e r y p o p u l a r analgesic extra strength Tylenol. Now, I don't wish to cause a p a n i c , a n d with reason a n d common sense the whole explosive s i t u a t i o n c a n w e l l be defused, since there is still time to act, but the following happened to me only this morning: I was l o o k i n g for a p a r t i c u l a r I I I I I I

l-l I I I I I I I I L I I I I I • • 1 I I I I I I I I I I I i l l I_I i~i-i~i~r Jli~i~i~i~ri i i i™~i~i~r~i~i~i~i"i " i i i i i r • i i t i t i i • • • • i • i i • • •i~i~i"i~r L

Here's the new look diary column; hope you approve. As I wrote last issue, I hope to produce it weekly, but I can only do this if I'm regularly supplied with gripes and gossips. All contributions should be sent to Below the Belt, F E L I X , and naturally will be dealt with in strictest confidence if you so desire. HOW P L E A S A N T to have a U n i o n P r e s i d e n t w i t h some .character to him! I don't mean this as any kind of criticism of last year's President N i c k M o r t o n ; N i c k was c h e e r f u l , h a r d - w o r k i n g , helpful and altogether a thoroughly pleasant person, but without any real quirks that a newspaper diarist c o u l d w r i t e a b o u t . In the previous year John Passmore was lazy, Irish, and frequently d r u n k , but there it s t o p p e d . Neither of them had any of the style of Stephen Goulder who,' with his felt hat, his slightly affected pomposity, and his wonderful use of the English language, is already making quite a name for

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special presidential ossiform truth, as opposed to the granular truth the rest of us understand? himself as a gentlemanly eccentric. H e is also a master of the oblique insult. His desciption of one of the C C U presidents as " n o t exactly overburdened with grey matter" was so much more eloquent than simply describing him as thick, and his put-down of former F E L I X Editor Steve Marshall was nothing short of masterly. "St eve," he announced, "you have what they call a magnetic personality—you repel people!" So when Dramsoc hack 'Eric' Jarvis wrote a widely-praised letter to the postgrad F E L I X supporting Mary Freeman's a t t i t u d e s a n d c r i t i c i s i n g the President as a pompous, selfadmiring fool, I was surprised to hear S D G mutter something about the letter containing " a b o n e o f t r u t h . " It i s n ' t his admission which surprises me so much as the word bone. Is this a

M A R Y F R E E M A N has, since before the start of term, been pestering members of U n i o n Council for their photographs to include in next week's F E L I X . One wag presented me with this picture;

I have undertaken not to name the disloyal fellow concerned, p r o v i d e d he sends a better likeness by Monday, but I

( O c t o b e r 15,

1982

will award a Jingles haircut voucher (my G o d , the generosity) to the first person who correctly identifies the hirsute young lady of the photograph.

M O R E N E W S of our old friend Captain Lindley R N (retd). The Captain is Domestic Secretary at I C and is therefore a d m i n i s trative superior to such as M r Mooney, the Refectories M a n a ger a n d M r R e e v e s , C h i e f Security Officer. He is also no friend of F E L I X , largely due to the efforts of the two previous editors. The Captain is due for a welldeserved retirement in December, but over the summer several Union hacks and a reliable mole in Sherfield phoned the F E L I X Office and gleefully announced that the retirement had been brought forward to September. Not one to print unsubstantiated rumour (despite recommendations f r o m a former editor) F E L I X phoned Jolly Jack's secretary who coldly told us that

FELIX


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Other Publications There are still several copies of the postgrad F E L I X , last week's F E L I X , some old Phoenixes, and the Event L o n d o n Student Guide. Anyone who would like copies can help themselves from the F E L I X Office.

continued room high up in the Elec Eng b u i l d i n g when I unwittingly stumbled upon a conspiracy of a very similar sort to the one above. What sounded like three distinct male voices were saying behind closed doors that within two weeks everything would be ready, all the inside contacts would have been made, to insert quantities o f strychnine into random portions of College refectory food. F o r fear of my own safety, I fled before the meeting was over, and so was not able to hear any m o r e detailed information, or discover the identities of these criminals. Obviously, sir, this is a very serious matter, and I refer it to the proper authorities. Let me just make the point, however, that i n the U S A the p a r e n t company of the Tylenol makers, Johnson and Johnson, acted to withdraw its entire stock of these a n a l g e s i c c a p s u l e s f r o m the market soon after the outbreak of the poisonings. Perhaps a similar preventive measure ought to be taken. Yours sincerely Mark Komondouros (in the interest of my safety, not my real name) Maths 3

a Hypocrisy A wonderful letter in this week's Broadsheet deserves a w i d e r audience; in it, Miss Deborah C o o p e r tells h o w no less a person than Phil Nathan enc o u r a g e d her to a d v e r t i s e sweatshirts by parading herself dressed in nothing but a sweatshirt and underwear ( R C S nymphet reveals all?). I am not offended by this, although I do see that many people may be; but I do condemn most strongly M r Nathan's hypocrisy in doing this and then condemning sexist behaviour at the R C S U G M .

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the Captain had no comment to make. The rumour turned out to be false, but that didn't stop the Captain from being in a foul temper for weeks, and crosse x a m i n i n g e v e n his c l o s e s t friends on whether they h a d done any writing for what he calls " t h a t s c u r r i l o u s newspaper".

A T L O N G L A S T ex-editor Steve M a r s h a l l has f o u n d someone who is prepared to employ him. N o more will the F E L I X staff hear his nasal, whining demand for tea (accurately mimicked by the rest of the staff). N o more the rotund little figure with the expression of childish glee when someone takes p i t y a n d buys h i m a biscuit. No more the withering contempt for anyone who so much as hints at an interest in a w o m a n ' s c h a r m s (for Steve regards sex as a rather good joke, and the idea of gaining pleasure from it is quite strange

FELIXI

Next Week Next week's F E L I X will contain the photographs of the people who have the dubious privilege of sitting on Union Council; photographs must be handed in to Mary Freeman, please, by Monday 5:30pm, or I may print something less complimentary in their place.

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to him). N o more half-finished articles for the Daily Mirror, no more m a d c a p m o n e y - m a k i n g schemes, no more deliberate offensiveness to anyone who dare stand up to his supreme arrogance. Steve—we shall miss you greatly, we wish you well sub-editing the magazine General Practitioner, a n d we l o o k forward to seeing you back here in the evenings. Now all we have to do is find a way o f g e t t i n g r i d o f M a r k Smith

BUT B E F O R E I leave Steve Marshall alone (for this week, at any rate) I feel I should make some mention of his obstinacy, and in particular the way in which, having decided he has a pretty shrewd idea of valuing antiques, it is taking the ridicule of most of the Union to point out his folly. H i s first p u r c h a s e was a stuffed a n t e l o p e h e a d ( £ 2 0 ) which he has donated to F E L I X

Impossible Without N i c k T h e x t o n , Lee P a d d o n , Petra Barry, M a r k Smith, T i m N o y c e , Peter R o d g e r s , D a v e R o w e , P h i l Greenstreet, and Nick Pyne for pasting-up and doing other jobs which are less than exhilarating, Pinocchio and W a l k a b o u t - L o o k s e e for their respective columns, Dave Parry, Ramzi Shammas, Steve Bishop and M a r k Heasman for photographic work, Chris Mallaband for s p o r t , H u g h S o u t h ey for What's O n , Adrian James for the news, Hazel Cheesbrough for the only decent contribution to the Letters page this week (and for giving me the opportunity to show I can spell her surname) and Ma z and Peter for typesetting and printing.

F E L I X Blues Apologies to those of you who have a calendar in which the colours aren't properly registered. We've had an enormous a m o u n t o f t r o u b l e w i t h the colour machine, and in addition to all the production apparatus going wrong (which we've grown to expect) a n d our suppliers letting us down (ditto) we've been plagued with little irritations like the telephones being out of order, the lights failing in the print room, and (I kid you not) someone walking into the office and stealing artwork that was about to be printed.

UGMs This is rather old news now, but I would still like to congratulate N i c k P y n e o n t h e w a y he handled the U G M a week ago; despite a few technical slips. H e made it clear that his aim was to get through the agenda quickly and d e m o c r a t i c a l l y w i t h o u t letting wrangling pedants bog the meeting down. What a pity so few people were there; could it be because at the R C S U G M the previous Monday (which was packed) K a r l Schmidt chaired

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F E L I X Staff We s t i l l need a n y b o d y a n d everybody who can spare the odd hour to help, particularly if y o u are free o n T h u r s d a y afternoons. About forty people signed up as being 'interested' at Freshers' Fair. If you're still 'interested' in spending some time working on F E L I X (however little or irregularly) then come to the staff meeting at 12:45 t o d a y i n the F E L I X o f f i c e , at a n y t i m e e x c e p t ] Thursday (when it is part of the ] Editor's job to panic and be badtempered).

the meeting so badly?

Letters

Martin S Taylor

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and w h i c h stares d o w n d i s approvingly as I write. More recently a bamboo flowerpot holder has appeared (£ 13) and is now residing in the president's room in Linstead until Steve can find room for it. Personally I think it resembles nothing so much as one of those fairground a m u s e m e n t s that y o u t h r o w tennis balls i n t o in an attempt to win a goldfish; but Steve seems to like it. But the most appalling, the most tasteless, the most unattractive purchase to date is a wrought-iron candlestick in the shape of a dragon which Steve paid twenty-five pounds for. This object is so ghastly that it has met with the universal detestation of all who have set eyes on it, and even Steve himself is beginning to realise that its charms aren't quite what he first took them for. So if anyone has a use for such an ornament, drop a note to Steve in the F E L I X Office. I'm sure he'd accept any offer around £30.

• O c t o b e r 15,

1982

Steve Going-for-a-song Marshall with the latest of his many dubious trophies.

A N D F I N A L L Y , two weeks ago I received an anonymous letter with a p h o t o g r a p h attached which purported to identify the mascoteers who took Mike over the summer. Next week I shall reveal more if my informant tells me exactly why the photograph is so incriminating

PageS


Last week both Guildsheet and the H G Wells Society used pictures of the female form to attract cheap publicity. The women's group WIST, among others, were offended, and this week two of WIST's officers reply, asking

Why must you be so childish? In reply to last week's article 'WIST Drive Fails' we would like to put a few facts right and expand a little on the motion which was to have been put forward at the first U G M . Firstly WIST cannot be described solely as a women's rights group, since we aim to provide information about such varied topics as woman's culture (including film, theatre, music, etc), her involvement in politics, economics, society. We also try to voice the opinions of women at this otherwise male orientated college. A t the U G M , W I S T was to p u t f o r w a r d the fact that b o t h female a n d male students f o u n d one o f the W e l l S o c postc. used i n F r e s h e r s ' W e e k , offensive. M a n y o f these students q u e r i . the relevance to W e l l S o c , ot a picture of a woman's naked breasts, a n d w o n d e r e d at w h o m this unnecessary f o r m o f p u b l i c i t y

was a c t u a l l y d i r e c t e d . T h e t w o m a i n images used i n the p i c t u r e : f i r s t l y , the w o m a n p u r e l y as a n object o f lust, a n d secondly the stereotype ' H e m a n ' suggest that W e l l S o c is t r y i n g to attract freshers w h o see themselves i n this light. Is W e l l s o c t r y i n g to d i s c o u r a g e w o m e n f r o m j o i n i n g ? O r , is it

Parking Permits Napte Green Greenhalgh Adam Adams Afridi Ahmad Al-Faddagh Al-Mukhtar

Department Geol Chem Eng Geology P&A Biology Civ Eng Elec Eng Mech Eng Elec Eng

Bahram-Aalam Mech Eng Mech Eng Bakr Aero Basuki Chem Batty Man Sci Bell Computing Bellamy Geology Bielski Mech Eng Bishop Elec Eng Biswas Civ Eng Blight Mech Eng Bommer Physics Bromley Geology Brooks Biochem Butter Civ Eng De Campos Biochem Casalotti Cattaneo Physics Chan Chem Eng Mech Eng Chan • Computing Cherng Chester Humanities Elec Eng Chung Chung DOC Civ Eng Coleman Civ Eng Copley Crockford Met & Mat Sci Cropkbain Geol Met Curiing Daneshmend Mech Eng Env Tech Das Felix Dawson Chem Eng Davidson and Muddle (jointly) Chem Eng LST Dolfing DOC Donovan Met Douglas Met & Mat Ebiogwu Geology Etraim Aero Ermogenis Civ Eng Fairlie Aero Felix Eiec Eng Fernando Elec Eng Galanis Physics Gandhi Mining Gardner Gayler and Mech Eng Maddock (iointly) Elec Eng Mech Eng Gezerian Gorgui-Naguib Elec Eng Gossain Aero DOC Grfiham-Taylor Chem Gl.jr.ll Hat Elec Eng Hagirah.: Elec Eng Hammond *oro

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Year PG 4 2 PG PG 2 PG PG PG PG 4 3 PG 3 PG 3 3 PG 2 3 PG PG PG 2 PG 3 PG PG PG 3 PG 3 3 3 2 PG PG PG PG PG 3 3 PG 1 PG PG PG PG PG 3 3 4 4 4 PG PG 2 2 3 2 3

Car Beg No. FEO 883X GBA 661N TYK 722M OTP 431M J G H 6S7P K G C 708K MLN 401V JBU 206M HUC 676W WUW 688S NMF 943X TJH 500M EML 135K LMO 378X O G F 851P LGL 747K CLM 984H RYP 942L BBD 870B WAH 686H VKR 978S USD 271S RHM 342L HPB 618N HLE 180N PLU 307W AMF 835T WOV 263S JML 179W KGJ 424T ERO 681K MHC 198 LPP 575V YTL 200L T U C 508S JJJ 454P LJD 329X PKO 224G LVW 836P VOB 511S VMJ 282S WLC 259X DGJ 745M LDW 898X KPH 366P SNM 160R FYL 122V DSU 896X KGN 887T SOY 107N VLE 832X AMT 793T XUU 277T KVO 444K HHM 550K RCL 800P OLN 510W URO 509M MMC 214W XFC 262V OVV 870R UAH 190M SXJ 597K

Harper Hawkins Henry Hewanicka

Physics DOC Met IC Union

Hirji Hodson Houston Howard Imregun Islam

Civ Eng Man Sci Pet Geol Chem Eng Mech Eng Chem Eng

Jones Jones Joyce Kakas Kani and Kani Karami Kempton Kennedy Khan Khan Khurmi Koniotis Koutmos Ku Kwok Kwong

Mining Geol Pet Eng Elec Eng Physics Physics Computing Mech Eng Civ Eng Chem Eng Min Res Eng Elec Eng Mech Eng Chem Eng Mech Eng Physics Elec Eng Civ Eng

Lai Lai Lawrence Lazaridis Leach Li Li Loader Lopez Li] McDonnell MacGowan Mainzer Marshall Masters Meewella Mehraban Millard Miller

Civ Eng Biochem Mech Eng Chem Eng Civ Eng Elec Eng Chem Eng Geol Elec Eng Civ Eng Civ Eng Physics Biochem Chemistry Chem Elec Eng Biochem Mech Eng Maths

Minas Minassian Moghadam Mok Moore Mullany Nahvi Napchan Nasrabadi and

Mech Eng Min Tech Mech Eng DOC Biochem Physics Civ Eng Met Elec Eng

Singarajah (joint) Elec Eng Maths Newport Elec Eng Ng Mech Eng North Chem Eng Patel Patni and Elec Eng Clark (jointly) Mech Eng Payne Elec Eng Philippou Aero Premi Mech Eng Przeworski Chem Rabson DOC Physics Rankin

Susan Walts, WIST spokesperson: "We hope you will support us in stopping such irresponsible behaviour.'' t r y i n g to w i n a n exclusively male audience, by appealing directly to stereotype male s e x u a l fantasies? T h i s appears c o n t r a r y t o t h e i r s a y i n g i n t h e Union Handbook: " T h i s is the society, the one where everyone's face fits, no matter what their interests, creed or c o l o u r or p o l i t i c a l a l l e g i a n c e . " W e also u n d e r s t a n d that it is n o t c o m m o n practise a m o n g s t p u b l c i t y RXE 495L ANJ 295T XUW 816G UJD 928F or MLD 103V HGF 593N MSc GMC 431V PG OPD 44R PG JLV 543V 1 VGO 48R PG PG JDB 12V or YVM 624T PRU 634M MSc WMA 197W FLX 122T 2 XYN 15T PG SYV 982S 3 PEG 644R PG LHD 380N 3 NKP 935F PG HGN 949N PG 82/83 UGF 451W MUT 433P PG AMG 156T PG GUV 218W 2 ROO 748M 2 DYK 30V 2 ENW 298T 2 AMT 291T 1 or DKT 232T EHM 489V 82/83 11 FOJ PG PPC 229L 3 KJJ 842P PG NND 770P PG WAR 304S 2 WLC 84X PG AYE 518B PG LLW 170P PG FUL 377V PG KLC 814D 3 WYX 483G PG WVX 957 PG NBD 808P PG J J G 654P PG NPR 444P 82/83 XNF 27S PG TDM 289F 3 RLD 343R 2 KMH 631W GGN 408T PG A G H 176S 1 GVG 390N PG 3 BPC 481T KHJ 24P 3 FPH 984J 3 PG ELU 8T FRK 457T PG 3 PRP 188 PRP 188 PG 2 VYX 795S 3 LLG 213P BME 756A 2 AYK 708H PG LNX 712P 4 THP 840R 4 PG CYM 745H VLC 312X 1 FMV 532V PG MGF 188V PG VLF 917G 3 JYV 568K PG

PG MSc PG

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O c t o b e r 15, 1 9 8 2

officers, to use pictures w h i c h are t o t a l l y irrelevant to their society i n o r d e r to advertise its existance. A n o t h e r instance o f this h o w e v e r , was b r o u g h t to o u r a t t e n t i o n i n the first cover o f Guildsheet. The thoughtless front cover of a semi-naked w o m a n was used as a desperate attempt by the G u i l d s h e e t E d i t o r to attract a n e w readers h i p . W e feel that b o t h the W e l l s o c poster a n d Guildsheet front page give a s a d l y c h i l d i s h i m p r e s s i o n o f I C students to the freshers, a n d that the people responsible f o r it are n o t h e l p i n g C o l l e g e i n its a i m to attract m o r e w o m e n into a l l departments. W e h o p e that m a n y o f y o u w i l l c o m e to the next U G M to discuss the m o t i o n o n U n i o n P u b l i c i t y (we need at least 300 people just to be able to discuss the m o t i o n ) a n d gives us y o u r support i n stopping such irresponsible a n d thoughtless behaviour. Thank-you. WIST Louise Nahon Susan Watts

Sable Sabouni Schmidt Shamma Sheahan Shjeriff Shivaramanan Sidhu Skouloudis Steel Stephenson Sternfeld

Pet Geol Elec Eng Chem/Man Sci Civ Eng P&A Bio Chemistkry Civ Eng Mech Eng Mech Eng Physics Civ Eng Chem

1 PG 3 PG 82/83 3 PG PG PG PG PG 1

Stone Suleman Tan Taghaddos Theodorou Thompson Thornhill Tjakra Toutounjee Tavlos Tse Ugodulunwa Valamonte Vassilios Vinden Walker Webb Weir Wiafe Wing Wong Wood Woods Wright Zadehkochek

DOC Aero Man Sci Computing Man Sci Min Res Eng Elec Eng Mech Eng Elec Eng Elec Eng Man Sci Geol Mech Eng Man Sci P&A bio Metall Chem Chem Metall Man Sci Mech Eng Met & Mat Sci Physics Chemistry Civ Eng

3 2 PG Res PG PG PG PG PG PG PG PG PG PG 3 PG PG PG PG 1982 2 3 PG PG 2

MDP 948P OPG 198R LDE 838P OPK 663R RWB 418X GKJ 367V FDS 334T NRW 194W DGN 254X WFX 354S JVW 952N DUC 951V RME 820Y LRK 456P CDV 94T MHC 765R CDV 336T OBY 715R NLS 577T PYR 834R HRK 703V TEV 7N PUU 273R LTM 400G UYK 304M XLO 35X CYN 839V MCK 766P EKM 559K HBX 977X SJD 711R DGH 601X TBA 865X VLM 474M CRL 171V EHP 18T UYF 109M HAO 757V

The following four people will be eligible for a parking permit when they know the (full) registration number of their car: Almuhanna Geology 1982 Bull Man Sci MSc Dhaliwal Maths 7 Walls Mining 3 Transit Officer C&G Transit Officer RCS Transit Officer Mines Four Union vans out-'T'e gate reg nos: OBW 886W; G G P 670P; RGO 716V; PGT 563, To those who have not been allocated permits I can only say, hard luck. It was a heartbreaking job sorting through them on Monday night after the rest of the Exec sorted out most of them on Sunday night. Thank you to the person applying from Holbein House who made me laugh after all of that! Seriously though, those who are lucky enough to be living close to College already; in either Westminster Council or Kensington and Chelsea Council areas, can apply for a 'Resident's Parking Permit' to the appropriate Council. You do not have had to live in the district for a specific time and, I have been informed, the permits cost only about £10 a term. The address of the Council should be in the telephone directory. To those who were hoping to offer lifts to female flatmates in Kensington/Hamlet Gardens, firstly, these areas are relatively well lit and residential and therefore safer than most, secondly, if you're worried (and I know that sometimes I was very scared walking back to Evelyn Gardens at midnight after working late) then there should be Rape 'Alarms' available, free, from the Union Office as soon as they arrive (hopefully they should have at the time you are reading this). There are also some on sale in the Bookshop.

Mary Freeman

FELIX


SOCIETIES

Community Action Group Sorry about any misunderstandings last Friday at the Soup Run, they will continue as normal every Tuesday and Friday from now on. Things on this term: Every Saturday afternoon: Acton Youth C l u b for mentally handicapped and able children. Great fun for those who are still children at heart.

Every Wednesday afternoon: helping at St Pancras Hospital on the old peoples ward. Occasional events: supporting Age Concern and Task Force helping with odd jobs for old people, visiting old people at an old peoples home on High Street Kensington. T h o u g h most of these events o c c u r regularly every week, you don't have to commit yourself to go every week, only when you have the time and energy. If you're interested in any of the above come along to the meeting every Monday at 12:30pm in the Rag Committee Room, top of the Union. Do come. It's great fun.

Dancing T i d d l y w i n k s is t a k i n g p l a c e t o m o r r o w (Saturday). Anybody wishing to participate should meet at the R C S U Office at 9:00am. The collection is in aid of M E N C A P . Congratulations to the small but effective crowd who went to Canterbury—you raised £223. Anyone who has purchased a freshers' dinner ticket is entitled to go to the party after the Life Sci Dinner in the J C R tonight. It will probably start about 10:00pm. Tickets are still available for the Chemistry and Physics Dinners—see your Dep Rep.

I hope all Guildsmen and Guildswomen, in fact, everybody, enjoyed the start of term. H e r e are s o m e dates for y o u r d i a r y . Tiddlywinks is now most certainly on. Meet at the C & G Union Office in Mech Eng, above the clock, at 9:00am on Saturday October 16. O n Saturday evening you are all cordially invited to a Guilds Pub Crawl around the general area. Further details of these two events will appear in Guildsheet which will be out on Thursday morning. A Rag M a g selling trip will take place on Saturday October 23 with the new R a g Mags! T h i s will be to O x f o r d University. O n Tuesday Octobefc26 there will be the first Guilds General Committee meeting of the year in the Union Dining Hall 6:00 for 6:30pm. There will also be a trial, at the next Guilds U G M on November 4. The trial will be of special interest to anybody who may (or may not) be guilty of losing Kings mascot Reggie to R C S last week. See you there!

Tomorrow morning is the tiddlywinks of course, for which the details hopefully will be advertised elsewhere in this issue of FELIX. Next Saturday night, October 23, brings yet another J C R Party but this time the Mines/IF Painted Face Party which should be fun if nothing else. May I also remind our freshers that Wednesday night is traditionally Mines' night in the Union Bar, so those of you who haven't introduced yourselves yet will find a welcome there every week. N B : Geology Freshers Dinner is tonight with Met & Mat Sci next week, and Min Res Eng on October 29. See you all there.

FELIX

Don't think that this is a small club with a few fanatics who have done it all before. Far from it, the Dancing Club is one of the largest clubs at IC, usually attracting nearly one hundred students interested in starting from scratch. It is also a great place to meet people from outside IC as the club also caters for a lot of nurses' homes and smaller colleges in London. Not only can you learn the traditional ballroom dances like the waltz and foxtrot, but also the modern Latin American dance like the cha cha and jive. We have several social events during the year (apart from the gatherings in the bar after classes) including a dinner dance, barn dance and visits to support our team at the intervarsity competition balls. If any of you have danced before do come to our advanced classes. We are always on the lookout for new talent for our competition team. There's no need to have a partner as you constantly change partners during classes so you meet everyone.

SF Soc Ah! You might well ask—what is the meaning of Life, the Universe a n d Everything? Certainly not the rather facile answer that Douglas Adams provides in those little wads of toilet paper you've all been reading so avidly. And, in the grand tradition of this so well known and beloved column, I certainly don't intend to answer them—but this is straying from the point. What isn't in these times of atrition we are all struggling through? Perhaps it was this that forced me to divulge my real identity to the young girl with blue eyes. If she would like to divulge her identity to me could she please drop a note in the biochemistry letter-racks ynder 'A'. Herpes the Dog Goddess

Audio After the amazing success/dismal failure of last T u e s d a y ' s m e e t i n g w e w i l l / w i l l not be continuing in the same manner. S o this Tuesday, O c t o b e r 12, we'll be taking it easy/winning World War 3 in the Quiet Room, Level 0, Sherfield Building. Where you can decide to join us/ask where Angie is (I don't know I keep telling you), or, order records at incredible/pathetic/cheap prices through our new record club. As a member you will be able to get discount/preferential treatment from Subjective A u d i o , the c l u b ' s own H i - F i consultants. Later we'll be going to the Union B a r / S o u t h s i d e / Q u e e n s / G l o u c e s t e r (all of them?) for a chat/drink/pick up. But just to prove that we're second Celestion International will give a d e m o n s t r a t i o n a n d discussion.' Watch this space.

When you have paid for your items, they must be put in a bag. Y o u must have a receipt, which you should keep in case of query. Don't get up-tight with my staff, if after a week you decide to change an item, and you haven't got the receipt. Y o u have been ". . . . warned; and don't try and change items If I may air my usual gnevances at the ^ beginning of term This year, lecturers recommended approx 1300 titles plus their stationery items. In a shop Choice of this size, with that number, we have to put *Christman already - Gray Jolliffe, Arrow them wherever there is space, so please be Books £1 patient with my staff. None of us know where The first Jewish Christmas book for nearly every title is, and it may take time to find it. But 2,000 years. find it we will. Carry on Yomping-Blandford 95p If you cannot find a book, tell me. Certain Dicing with Dragons-Livingstone, RKP £3.95 lecturers do not inform the Bookshop of their / counted them all out and I counted them all recommendations; therefore until students tell back-Hanrahan & Fox £1.95 us, we do not know that a particular title is Lantern Lecture-Mars-Jones, Picador £1.95 needed. i Aries Rising - Herzog, Pan £1.50 Recommended book prices range-from Secret Seruanr-Lyall, Pan £1.50 £1.25 to £50.00. Don't blame me, publishers Pascal programs for scientists & engineersset their prices, and I have to abide by their Miller, Sybex £12.70 decision. Your first computer-Zaks, Sybex £7.75 I don't like the turnstiles, my staff don't like Introduction to Word Processing-Glatzer, them. But unfortunately, it is a sign of the Sybex £11.45 times. If you want something, please don't take Basic programs for scientists & engineersit; and when asked, say you were going to Miller, Sybex £11.50 come back on Saturday and pay. We don't International Micrcomputer Dictionary-Sybex open on Saturday! £4.75 Please don't try and take the price labels off, For readers of FELIX 5%. May I recommend it will only ruin your nails. to the illustrious gentleman concerned a new Ensure you have the right items when you title: The English Madam—Cynthia Payne, pay. We cannot change items every five Cape £7.50 (to order only). The bookshop will minutes because you thought it was right, accept luncheon vouchers for this title only.

Bookshop News

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This week FELIX presents a special film review section which looks at the latest releases and gives a guide to films which you may have missed over the holiday period. This may help you to sift through the hundreds of films showing in London and choose a quiet evenings entertainment after the first hectic week.

T o b e H o o p e r shot to fame w i t h the controversial cult hit The Texas Chainsaw Massacre a n d his latest film Poltergeist ( X , E m p i r e L e i c e s t e r S q u a r e a n d l o c a l s ) is currently L o n d o n ' s top-selling film. A s y o u may have heard already there has been a certain amount of controversy over this film too, centring not o n the h o r r o r elements, but o n who actually directed it. T h e confusion has arisen because w u n d e r k i n d Steven S p i e l b e r g h a d a great influence on the p r o j e c t — h e wrote the screenplay from his o w n story and p r o d u c e d the film. Indeed his name dominates the credits so m u c h that the press have t e n d e d to ignore T o b e H o o p e r ' s h a r d w o r k a n d credit Spielberg for directing the picture too. H e denies t h i s — e n d of story? T h e confusion is easy to u n d e r s t a n d though. Right from the start the film bears the Spielberg s t a m p , from the setting in a middle class A m e r i c a n s u b u r b to the obsession with mysteries a n d child-like sense of w o n d e r . It tells the story of the Freeling family, whose w o r l d is t u r n e d upside d o w n w h e n a spirit (supposedly a poltergeist) enters their home through a television. P r o p e r t y salesman Steve Freeling ( C r a i g T N e l s o n ) his wife D i a n e (Jobeth Williams) and their three children then start to witness a s e r i e s of s t a n d a r d m a g i c t r i c k s — m o v i n g

Jobeth

Williams is confronted

is no unnecessary gore. T h e children all act well a n d the only danger to fourteen-year-olds w o u l d be t h e s c e n e s w h e r e t h e p a r a p s y c h o l o g i s t s s t a r t to t a k e t h e m s e l v e s seriously. But for a student audience it will only appeal to the y o u n g at heart or those who are f a n s of o u t s t a n d i n g s p e c i a l e f f e c t s . S t i l l , recommended.

live in fear!" A few lines like these are priceless indications of the depth in the film's story. T h e single greatest improvement is in the character of R o y Batty (Ruger H a u e r ) the leader of the replicants. H a u e r dominates the latter half of the film with an unnerving, evil performance culminating in a powerful cat and mouse game with the terrified D e c k a r d .

furniture, breaking glass, e t c — b u t things start to t u r n nasty w h e n the o l d k n a r l e d tree outside t h e c h i l d r e n ' s b e d r o o m trie's t o c o n s u m e y o u n g Robbie during a 'freak' t h u n d e r s t o r m . In the confusion their y o u n g daughter C a r o l A n n e , w h o has been talking to the what she calls ' T V people' (ie the spirits), disappears c o m p l e t e l y , o n l y t o m a n i f e s t h e r s e l f as a frightened voice on an unused television channel. S h e had been a b d u c t e d to the spirit w o r l d a n d , in m u c h the same way as Close Encounters, the family have to get her back. A l l this is marvellously done, but then the film changes gear. Steve consults a team of parapsychologists w h o , spouting a mixture of science a n d religious gobbledy-gook, explain that they have been plagued by a poltergeist. A t this point the story begins to get c o n f u s e d — D r L e s h (Beatrice Straight) explains that a poltergeist is not associated with a building (as with a haunting) but with a person. Spielberg promptly ignores this a n d juxtaposes three or four p l o t s i n t o one to c r e a t e a final conflugration w h i c h has nothing to d o with a poltergeist, but rather a haunting. A s the p a r a p s y c h o l o g i s t s c a l l in midget psychic T a n g i n a (Zelda Rubenstein) to, rescue C a r o l A n n e from the spirit w o r l d , they witness s o m e spectular events, all created for the screen in immaculate style by G e o r g e L u c a s ' . effects t e a m at Industrial Light a n d M a g i c . Indeed, the weakness of the plot is made up for enormously by the stunning visuals a n d some c h e e k y h u m o u r , w h i c h c o m b i n e to m a k e this a quaintly horrific but u n d e m a n d i n g film. M y only c r i t i c i s m of the film (apart from the m i s l e a d i n g t i t l e ) is t h a t it c a r r i e s a n X c e r t i f i c a t e . Poltergeist is b a s i c a l l y a ' W a l t D i s n e y ' h o r r o r film designed to have mass appeal, and thus it seems o d d that it was not made as a A A feature. D o n ' t get me w r o n g , it is hugely entertaining a n d very scary at times (especially the lingering gap between the two 'endings') but apart from one small scene there

by a ghostly apparition

in Tobe Hooper's

Poltegeist.

F a r less disappointing, but still bad in a sense was J o h n C a r p e n t e r ' s The Thing ( X , A B C s ) , supposedly a r e m a k e of the classic H o w a r d H a w k ' s film The Thing From Another t World. I c a n honestly say that the special effects totally o v e r w h e l m the pitiful s t o r y — b u t boy o h boy, y o u just will not believe y o u r eyes! E f f e c t s w i z a r d R i c k B a k e r (of A m e r i c a n Werewolf in L o n d o n fame) has c o n s p i r e d to produce the most sickeningly repulsive a n d horrific set of c o n v i n c i n g effects I have ever seen. T h i s is a new type of h o r r o r — l e t ' s say ' h a r d c o r e ' h o r r o r — w h i c h is f a r m o r e interesting a n d physically moving than any of the recent glut of slash the teenager movies. B u t as one reviewer has already s a i d — T h i n g s just ain't what they used to be (groan!). D e n i s Potter's play Brimstone & Treacle ( X , C l a s s i c s H a y m a r k e t , O x f o r d St) was originally intended for the B B C , but i t s film i n c a r n a t i o n w i t h S t i n g in the l e a d role of M a r t i n T a y l o r (which one, I hear y o u ask in unison) turns out surprisingly well. F i l m e d virtually competely in a small house, it has the feel of a play a n d may have been better set o n the stage. It opens with M a r t i n b u m p i n g into T h o m a s Bates ( D e n h o l m Elliot) a n d talking his way into the B a t e s ' home. H e pretends to be a friend of their daughter, who for three years has been a helpless mute since an unfortunate accident. T h e beautiful y o u n g girl cannot feed herself or c o m m u n i c a t e with the outside w o r l d a n d so w h e n M a r t i n offers to help look after his long lost love, M r s Bates seizes o n the c h a n c e to relieve the constant pressure of w o r k .

V T h e initial reaction w h e n watching Diva is m i x e d ; it opens with a ten minute o p e r a scene where a postboy illegally records his favourite star D i v a , a w o m a n w h o refuses to m a k e recordings for sale. L a t e r he also c o m e s into possession of a tape w h i c h e x po s e s a d r u g syndicate and ends up being p u r s u e d by just about everybody. Whilst the plot may at first s e e m fairly simple, it turns into a c o m p l e x a n d unusual thriller of H i t c h c o c k p r o p o r t i o n s , w h i c h is very well crafted a n d beautifully filmed. It is these q u a l i t i e s w h i c h h a v e r o c k e t e d its F r e n c h d i r e c t o r , J e a n - J a q u e s B e i n e i x to i n s t a n t stardom.

M r Bates is less enthusiastic. H e suspects M a r t i n ' s r u s e a n d fears the w o r s t , but is eventually w o n over. M e a n w h i l e Sting is busy molesting his daughter in the living r o o m . Beineix has c o m b i n e d a series of simple plots to provide a stylish film with a certain dreamlike quality. T h e postboy is p u r s u e d by dangerous thugs and oriental gangsters through a w o r l d populated by c o m i c strip characters a n d incredible pop-art b a c k d r o p s . T h e look of the film, switching between night time P a r i s a n d a l m o s t s u r r e a l sets, is all important a n d I don't think I c a n r e c o m m e n d this o d d film highly enough. It is now showing exclusively at the O d e o n H i g h St K e n s i n g t o n a n d the S c r e e n o n the Hill at Belsize P a r k .

Director Ridley Scott (right) instructing Harrison Ford on the set of Blade Runner. This scene is a direct homage to Ray Bradbury's classic Outer Limits episode Fiend with the Glass Hand. A more important, if flawed, film is Ridley S c o t t ' s Blade Runner ( A A , W a r n e r , A B C Fulham R d , A B C Shaftesbury Avenue) starring H a r r i s o n F o r d . T h i s is fairly directly based o n Philip K D i c k ' s excellent science fiction novel D o Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? D i c k was a gifted author w h o used the S F m e d i u m to express his o w n slightly views on reality a n d life. H e r e futuristic bounty hunter R i c k D e c k a r d ( F o r d ) is s e n t t o k i l l f o u r ' r e p l i c a n t s ' — genetically engineered people who have illegally r e t u r n ed to earth. In the process of hunting t h e m d o w n he starts to doubt not only tiis profession, but also the place of androids in his society. T h e film is set in the next century in a beautifully crafted city; flying cars fill the polluted skies a n d the o v e r c r o w d e d streets bustle with a predominantly oriental c o m m u n i t y . M a n has advanced genetic engineering to the stage where he c a n produce p e r f e c t , d i s p e n s i b l e c o p i e s of h i m s e l f as s l a v e s — a n d r o i d s , w h i c h are only used 'off w o r l d ' to s p e a r h e a d the colonisation of outer space. T h e replicants are very strong, but have little experience of life and poorly developed emotions. F o r this reason they b e c o m e erratic a n d their inventor, Tyrell (Joe Turkell), gives his latest N e x u s 6 models artificial memories with a brief four year life span as a safety measure. W h e n six N e x u s 6 replicants hijack a shuttle and return to earth they b e c o m e a danger and must be elliminated. T h e film retains most of the passion for life w h i c h D i c k ' s b o o k expresses so well and it even improves o n it slightly. " T h e r e ' s nothing w o r s e than having an itch y o u c a n never scratch!" m o u t h s L e o n as he tries to brutally kill D e c k a r d , " N o w y o u k n o w what it's like to

T h e film is visually stunning with a look w h i c h is a cross between S c o t t ' s Alien a n d Spielberg's Close Encounters (not surprising as D o u gl as T r u m b a l l supplies the magnificent special effects were too) but it does have obvious faults. T h o s e w h o dislike serious science fiction may as well forget it straight away. Despite s o m e concessions to c o m m e r c i a l pressures (an u n n e c e s s a r y n a r r a t i o n a n d s l i g h t l y o v e r b l o w n violence) the story projects a very serious, if gloomy, point about life a n d death. It requires s o m e effort to understand a n d those expectin g Indiana Jones vs The Robots merely because H a r r i s o n F o r d stars will c o m e away disappointed. Indeed, A m e r i c a n audiences were generally disappointed by F o r d a n d not the film itself (he gives a reasonable performance as a terrified anti-hero, w h o is constantly o v e r p o w e r e d by his superior adversaries not Indiana J o n e s at all!). Y o u won't c o m e out of this one feeling e l a t e d , b u t I ' m c o n v i n c e d t h a t it is a n important step towards putting m o r e serious science fiction back o n the big s c r e e n . S o far I seem to have only raved about the s u m m e r ' s g o o d releases, so here's a warning about s o m e less desireable films. T h e most disappointing film of the s u m m e r was certainly Conan The Barbarian starring A r n o l d S c h w a r z e n e g g a r. Despite glimpses of promise, it really is a m o n u m e n t a l bore, with J o h n Milius wasting a decent story by banal scripting a n d unimaginative filming. C o n a n m u m b l e s incomprehensibly a n d every time s o m e o n e gets o n a h o r s e the o r c h e s t r a l s o u n d t r a c k wheezes back into cliched 'riding boldly' format. It r e m i n d e d me of a two hour t i t l e s e q u e n c e p e r f o r m e d b y a c a s t of characterless d u m m i e s .

| October 15, 1982

j^&ISTONE

T h e film is interesting a n d well shot, but was a little too short. T h e s u d d e n ending manages to c a r r y the central point of the p l a y — t h a t g o o d a n d evil are not totally distinguishable and that s o m e thoroughly evil a c t s m a y h a v e g o o d (if e m b a r r a s s i n g ) consequences. Whilst not being too explicit, the m o r a l i t y of M a r t i n T a y l o r ' s a c t i o n s is sometimes s u r p r i s i n g (I always h a d my doubts about him) even s h o c k i n g . A s for Sting, it is very fortunate that he has to look as if he's acting most of the time

Equally impressive, if far less exciting is W e r n e r H e r z o g ' s e p i c Fitzcarraldo (A, C a m d e n Plaza). T h i s is a hugely ambitious film set i n S o u t h A m e r i c a at t h e t u r n of t h e century. K l a u s K i n s k i s t a r s as B r i a n S w e e n y F i t z g e r a l d ( k n o w n as F i t z c a r r a l d o ) , a n Irishman obsessed by the notion of building an opera house in the jungle. T o do this he hits u p o n several fanciful schemes, culminating in a plan w h i c h involves dragging a massive riverboat over a hill to r e a c h an otherwise inaccessible supply of rubber. T h i s he achieves with considerable effort, but his c r a z y s c h e m e is d o o m e d to failure. T h e film is all about obsession a n d the story of its p r o d u c t i o n is interesting, in itself. F o r htis reason maverick documentary maker Les Blank (do y o u r e m e m b e r Garlic is as good as 10 mothers or Werner Herzog Eats his Shoe?) .i. Burden of Dreams, now showing at the Paris P u l l m a n . T h i s s h o w s the pains to w h i c h H e r z o g went to film the story. H e m o v e d his a c t o r s to t h e m i d d l e of t h e A m a z o n i a n jungle a n d , despite n u m e r o u s setbacks, eventually s u c c e e d e d in pulling a full size boat over a hill. H e r z o g confesses that he sometimes d o u b t e d his o w n sanity a n d the d o c u m e n t a r y is a testament to his brilliance as an obsessive film m a k e r .

Mark

Smith

|Page9


REVIEWS!

Theatre The Witch of Edmonton by Dekker, Ford and Rowley, directed by Barry Kyle, Royal Shakespeare Company at the Pit, Barbican Centre. T h e playwrights have c o m b i n e d their o w n respective talents of melancholy, satire and c o m e d y to produce a delightful combination in T h e W i t c h . W r i t t e n in 1621, the play was one of the few of that period w h i c h was concerned primarily with the p o o r . M i r i a m Karlin plays M o t h e r Sawyer, a persecuted pauper who experiences the spirit of the devil, appearing b e f o r e h e r i n t h e f o r m of a b l a c k d o g (portrayed by Miles A n d e r s o n ) . W i t h the help of the canine devil, M o t h e r S aw yer seeks her revenge on a c o m m u n i t y based on lust, money a n d greed. A p p a r e n t l y the story is based o n a true one, of Elizabeth Sawyer from Islington who was hanged for witchcraft in 1621. Miriam Karlin as Mother Sawyer with Andrew Jarvis, Ronan Wilmot, and Graham

Turner.

T h e B r o t h e r h o o d set out to regenerate British art (they adopted a high moral tone a n d largely ignored foreigners) by painting historical and o t h e r s c e n e s as they a c t u a l l y might have looked. T h i s is a very small scale s u m m a r y of what The New and Noble School: The PreRaphaelites by Quentin Bell, Macdonald Q u e n t i n Bell's b o o k is about. If y o u have any interest in the subject then this is a good ÂŁ10.95. b o o k to buy (if. y o u c a n afford it) because it's T h e Pre-Raphaelite movement started in interestingly a n d informatively written, and 1848. It was a semi-secret society formed by sometimes very entertaining. F o r example "...if seven artists as a reaction against the artistic doctrines that h a d prevailed from the time of I y o u c o u l d go to Italy a n d see originals...you R a p h a e l (early 16th C e n t u r y ) onwards. T h e j probably received a n impression far deeper a n d more valuable than that w h i c h the art Pre-Raphaelite B r o t h e r h o o d (as they called lover of today gains from the enormous mass themselves) wanted to r e t u r n to what they saw of m e n d a c i o u s r u b b i s h , p u r p o r t i n g t o be as the m o r e n a t u r a l , h o n e s t a n d pious faithful reproductions of oil paintings by the old a p p r o a c h t o the artists w h o w o r k e d before the m a s t e r s , b e n e a t h w h i c h o u r coffee tables Renaissance. A c c o r d i n g to R u s k i n , the P r e g r o a n . " T h e b o o k does get a little too profound Raphaelites c h a m p i o n , art since the sixteenth towards the end but o n the whole it's very c e n tu ry had degenerated into 'indolence, g o o d to r e a d . T h e r e are about s i x t y - s i x infidelity (because they didn't c o p y faithfully pictures in it as well. from nature), sensuality a n d shallow pride'.

Book

T h e Pit is the R o y a l Shakespeare C o m p a n y ' s s m a l l a u d i t o r i u m at t h e B a r b i c a n C e n t r e , s e a t i n g o n l y 200 p e o p l e . It c o n t i n u e s the tradition of the O t h e r Place (at Stratford) and the W a r e h o u s e which were rehearsal spaces converted into intimate theatres. This intimacy added to m y enjoyment of the B a r r y K y l e p r o d u c t i o n since sitting on the front row I was virtually o n the edge of the stage, with props a n d actors flying past my eyes. Indeed this was a refreshing evening of theatre, a welcome break from the W e s t E n d sitcom. H o w e v e r , due to the size of the Pit and the p o p u l a r i t y of T h e W i t c h , I strongly r e c o m m e n d that ticket availability is c h e c k e d before setting off for the B a r b i c a n . T i c k e t s , programmes and drinks are inexpensive at the Pit a n d the play is being presented o n several dates between now a n d early D e c e m b e r . Nick Hill

Nick Willsor

Cat People, Paul Schroder, X, now showing at Plaza and ABC Fulham Rd. Cat People is billed as a mixture of horror a n d erotic fantasy. It fails as both. T h e story begins with virginal Irena (Natassia Kinski) visiting her long-lost brother P a u l ( M a l c o l m M c D o w e l l ) . H e immediately attempts to rape her. T h e n he spins her a yarn about h o w incest is g o o d for t h e m . It stops t h e m turning into man-eating big cats, he assures her. Straight sex is a no-no. T h e n Irena falls madly in love with the city, z o o c u r ator. S o o n afterwards he suspects Irena of actually being a panther a n d not a girl at all. B u t he's determined not to let a thing like that spoil a n otherwise beautiful relationship. T h e film has very little to r e c o m m e n d it. T h e filming is dull a n d unimaginative (except for a few bits k n o c k e d t o g e t h e r for p u b l i c i t y purposes) a n d the screenplay crap (although the s c o re is pretty good). E v e n the special effects, w h i c h u s u a l l y m a k e up for an otherwise b a d film are surprisingly ineffective in Cat People. H o w e v e r , I have a feeling that the film will be as tremendously successful as B o D e r e k ' s little r o m p s . N a t a s s i a K i n s k i is undeniably beautiful a n d as she spends most of the film pouting 'innocent' sexuality it is sure to be appreciated by those to w h o m a g o o d film is synonymous with one off the wrist. Steve Marshall

PogelO

Cat and Dog:- Natassia Kinski as Irena in Cat People and Miles Anderson as the dog in The Witch of Edmonton.

lOctober 15, 1982 I

FEUX


A Knight To Remember Don Quixote A play by Keith Dewhurst from the novel by Cervantes. Directed by The Olivier, National Bill Bryden, Theatre. If a great play cannot be pr o du c ed from a great novel, as is often claimed, then one is at least entitled to expect a g o o d play from s u c h a book. T h e production of D o n Quixote at the National is s u c h a play. T h e director K e i t h D e w h u r st deserves full credit for his courage a n d d a r i n g . N o t o n l y is C e r v a n t e s ' b o o k generally recognised as one of the world's great literary masterpieces (many have gone so far as to say that it is the world's greatest novel), but one would have expected that its sheer size (over one thousand pages of small print in the Penguin C l a s s i c s edition) would have prohibited any attempt at its distillation into a two and a half hour production.

In all, twenty-six scenes are taken from this immortal a n d universal book, chronicling the a d v e n t u r e s of D o n Q u i x o t e , a s p l e n d i d l y heroic figure but m u c h given to spectacular a n d u n b r i d l e d f a n t a s y , a n d his faithful c o m p a n i o n , S a n c h o P a n z a . T h e play contains some of the more well-known and amusing encounters of the Knight, including "the most terrifying and never-to-be-imagined adventure of t h e w i n d m i l l s " in w h i c h D o n Q u i x o t e mistakes the sails as limbs of giants, the inn which he mistakes for a castle, the wandering s h e e p he m i s t a k e s for a t t a c k i n g a r m i e s , ' M o n t e s i n o s ' P r o f o u n d C a v e ' a n d its supernatural mysteriousness and the ' M e r r y A d v e n t u r e of t h e P u p p e t M a n , w i t h the M e m o r a b l e Soothsaying of the Prophesying A p e ' . ( O h what great stuff this all is!)

IREVIEWSI Quick Change Corruption Our Friends in the North by Peter Flannery, Royal Shakespeare Company at the Pit, Barbican Centre. Directed by John Caird. O u r Friends in the N o r t h is a combination of political thriller a n d social d r a m a with a central theme of corruption in British public life. T h e p l a y c o v e r s the y e a r s 1964 to 1979 a n d features local politics in the northeast, the M e t r o p o l i t a n P o l i c e in L o n d o n , a n d t h e Rhodesia at the time of the oil embargo. O n first sight, these three subjects s e e m t o o w e i g h t y t o be c o m b i n e d i n a s i n g l e p l a y . Paul Schofield plays D o n Q u i x o t e a n d T o n y H a y g a r t h S a n c h o P a n z a , but D o n Q u i x o t e ' s horse, Rozinante, and his companion's mule, faithful D a p p l e , are ' r e p l a c e d ' in t h i s production by a splendid penny-farthing and a mini tricycle. These delightful constructions are the vehicles of their dreams on w h i c h they sally forth in their quest for adventure. Paul S c o f i e l d ' s p o r t r a y a l of D o n Q u i x o t e as a fanatical Knight Errant in maniacal pursuit of knight errantry is comic but utterly endearing. T h e D o n ' s extravagant fantasies and romantic ideas belong to a former, G o l d e n A g e , an age of 'peace, amity and c o n c o r d ' . N o longer in existence, the O r d e r of K n i g h t h o o d defended damsels, protected widows and assisted o r p h a n s . In t h e m a n n e r of a s a i n t , D o n . Q u i x o t e undertakes chivalrous adventures in order to be worthy of the fair L a d y D u l c i n e a . H e m u c h admires this lady w h o m he considers chaste and beautiful, but is in reality none other than A l d o n z a L o r e n z o , the fastest salter of pig-meat in the locality. In contrast, S a n c h o P a n z a possesses m u c h more down-to-earth c o m m o n sense, but remains paradoxically with his fanciful master because of the promise of the governorship of an island in those far off lands w h i c h the D o n imagines conquering. A l t h o u g h the play has certain faults and shortcomings it is nevertheless very amusing and has many magical moments (witness a string of sheep on roller-skates). A n excellent band gives musical and vocal accompaniment: s o m e of them are well-known folk musicians: M a r t i n C a r t h y , Bill C a d d i c k and M a d d y Prior. It is the c o m e d y on one side of the coin and the deep, deep sadness of the human condition on the other that is so cleverly and entertaingly portrayed by C e r v a n t e s in his b o o k (and after all, there is a little bit of D o n Q u i x o t e in each of us). If you haven't read the book, the play at the O l i v i e r T h e a t r e m a k e s a m e m o r a b l e introduction. Nick Bedding

"No, you can't have a lift!" Don Quixote (Paul Schofield)

FELIX

shows off on his

penny-farthing.

I October 15, 19821

Get out of that, Rhodesia! Joseph (black), David Whittaker (white).

Marcell

H o w e v e r , they are unified politically by the c o r r u p t i o n theme and socially by two of the leading characters, N i c k y (Phillip Walsh) a n d G e o r d i e ( D a v i d Whittaker) who pass from naivety to diri!lusionme<r during the play. T h e s e two actors portray a politically 'likely lads' story with the form, r staying at home and pursuing a conventional career in Tyneside politics, whilst the latter is the bad penny who leaves and follows a less o r t h o d o x path. O n e of the many joys of this play is the H e r c u l e a n task u n d e r t a k n by the performers of presenting thirty-four characters between only about twenty a c t o r s . T h i s calls for quick c o s t u m e a n d character changes, with, for example, J a m e s G a r b u t t playing a flatc a p p e d w o r k i n g class G e o r d i e , a commissioner in the M e t r o p o l i t a n Police and a R h o d e s i a minister. This p r o d u c t i o n does not require an interest in politics to be appreciated. Student standby tickets may be obtained for this play w h i c h continues through O c t o b e r and N o v e m b e r . Nick Hill

Dank And Lanky H a n k y P a n k y , a film d i r e c t e d b y S i d n e y P o i t i e r , at the C l a s s i c , C h e l s e a . H a v i n g recently gone on general release, the l a t e s t " a l l a c t i o n c o m e d y - a d v e n t u r e " (sic) featuring G e n e W i l d e r as our innocent blueeyed hero, Hanky Panky will c o n tain few surprises and few laughs to those cognoscenti of the genre. D i r e c t e d o n c e more by Sidney Poitier, this film makes their previous effort Silver Streak appear positively classic. T h e a p p r o a c h is the same: a woolly plot based a r o u n d big business espionage and murder catching up with o u r innocent hero, while he pursues carnal rather than financial aims. T h e plot is deliberately left loose as a framework for plenty of farcical h u m o u r . "However, where Silver Streak s c o r e d was to have G e n e Wilder playing off R i c h a r d P r i o r, a superb â&#x20AC;˘ talent in his o w n right. In Hanky Panky; this element is missing. H i s female co-star (whose name escapes me) has a stronger role than the previous film: she is n o t a b l e for her a d e p t n e s s as a m o t o r mechanic as well as a sex-symbol. Indeed, only overtime w o r k by the make-up department makes her role as object of our hero's desires credible. I hope M r W i l d e r will move off to m o r e fertile g r o u n d for his next film a n d that this will m a r k the low point in the film career of this talented performer. H e seemed to thrive under the d i r e c t i o n of M e l B r o o k s ( r e m e m b e r The P r o d u c e r s and Blazing Saddles) a n d I h o p e he. manages one day to recapture that f o r m. S o unless y o u are a devotee of u n d e m a n d i n g ribticklers, stear clear of this banal offering. Lee Paddon PogeTl


WALKABOUTLOOHSte 

 



  

T h e V i c t o r i a & Albert M u s e u m , at the bottom of Exhibition R o a d , started life as the M u s e u m of M a n u f a c t u r e r s , with a government grant of ÂŁ5,000 to buy ornamental art from the G r e a t Exhibition of 185J. Today, the m u s e u m houses a huge collection which ranges from ceramics and musical instruments, to tapestries and prints. T h e Jewellery G a l l e r y has been closed since N o v e m b e r 1977, w h e n it was found to be full of toxic blue asbestos! It reopened last week to show its sparkling permanent display, which includes ornaments from the Russian C r o w n J e w e l s , a n d the famous C a n n i n g J e w e l , traditionally said to have been given by a M e d i c i prince to a M u g h a l emperor. This treasure-house of a gallery is also intended to house occasional small exhibitions of m o d e r n jewellery: the first is an exhibition of w o r k by Wendy Ramshaw. The jewellery on show results from a collaboration with W e d g e w o o d . She is the first artist-jeweller to w o r k with W e d g e w o o d in the company's 222 years. In the catalogue to the exhibition she says: "I wanted to make pieces of jewellery w h i c h carried s o m e of the vitality

Neckpiece bearing pink and white Jasper with silver beads.

OSC

Raffle

T h e winners of the G r a n d Raffle in aid of the W o r l d U n i v e r s i ty S c h o l a r s h i p are: P B a k e r of N a t W e s t who wins a Sinclair Z X 81 m i c r o c o m p u t e r . T K a r a g o u r i s , A e r i o 2, w h o wins a b o o k t o k e n worth ÂŁ20. N B u s k e l l A e r o P G w h o wins a T e x a s TI35 calculator. A Kotcheff, K r e m a n t z e H o t e l R o o m 206, w h o wins a bottle of.champagne donated by I C Union. T h e following win a bottle of wine: R M a y ( P h y s i c s 3 ) , M a c L e n n a n ( E l e c E n g 1), G Kretsis ( A e r o P G ) , N Alipplantis ( D O C 2), P N a t h a n ( B i o c h e m 3), K J o s e p h ( C h e m Eng), V G a n d h i (107 W a k e m a n Rd), P F e r n a n d e z ( D O C 2), R M e n d e z (44 W e r t e r R d ) , L J o r d e n ( M E 3 ) , I G r a h a m - W a t s o n (Admin), S Stirling ( A d m i n ) , J Harpalani ( D O C 1), A Davies ( A d m i n ) a n d D r P e r r y ( C i v Eng). T h e last p r i z e , a s m a l l b o t t l e of p o r t , donated by M r M o o n e y goes to D r R i c h a r d s o n of C h e m E n g . W e w o u l d like t o thank all those who bought tickets. T h e next raffle, c o m i n g s o o n will be a champagne raffle.

of so-called 'primitive' b o d y ornament. I also wished to relate to 20th century form and technology. T h e collaboration with Wedgew o o d afforded the chance of using the famous B l a c k B a s a l t . . . r e p u t e d to have the m o s t excellent turning properties. In the event most of the pieces were made with the other famous W e d g e w o o d clay, Jasper , a dense white vitrified stoneware body having m u c h the same properties as porcelain." Her beads are perfect geometric shapes: cones, spheres, hemispheres, and discs, and also, cotton-reel and bobbin shapes. T h i s basic vocabulary is arranged in varying degrees of complexity, sometimes combined with precious metals, semi-precious stones, feathers and enamelling, to form neckpieces, earrings a n d pins. E a c h piece seems to be making a c o m p l e x symbolic statement, as if, given sufficient insight or ingeuity w e ' d be able to decipher a message hidden behind the simple beauty of the geometric sequence. A m a z i n g l y , for m o d e r n jewellery, the pieces are very wearable. S o m e of the larger, stiff, necklaces w o u l d look best set against a very s i m p l e d a r k d r e s s (as w o u l d a n o r n a t e n e c k l a c e of a n y p e r i o d ) b u t o t h e r s , a n d certainly the pins a n d earrings, would be just as happy with denims! H o w e v e r , M i s s R a m s h a w is also c o n c e r n e d that the pieces should be formally resolved w h e n n o t b e i n g w o r n a n d h a s , at t i m e s , devised means by w h i c h they c a n be enjoyed out of context of the wearer. F o r example, she has made several totem pillars or columns of turned beads in fine grained stoneware and porcelain, in colours ranging from brilliant blues and dull purples to pale greens, creams and white. T h e y are threaded o n spikes and rest o n a brass disc: e a c h c o l u m n unscrews to allow a r a n d o m selection of beads to be strung as a necklace o n a nickel-silver neckwire. S o m e of t h e j e w e l l e r y o n s h o w w a s p r o d u c e d by W e d g e w o o d from M i s s Ramshaw's designs, in limited and unlimited editions. T h e exhibition also includes other w o r k , from her ring sets of the late 1960s to new ceramic pieces p r o d u c e d independently of W e d g e w o o d . A l s o at the V & A at the moment, is an e x h i b i t i o n of w a t e r c o l o u r s b y J o h n S e l l C o t m a n , 1978-1842. Until 1750, the watercolour was considered a fairly minor art and was generally limited to

Indian Cinema T o most people Indian cinema means the highly c o m m e r c i a l , formulated, garish output of the B o m b a y studios. F e w are familiar with or even aware of the subtle w o r k s of India's w o r l d ranking directors. T o help change this, India Society is running a short season of films this t e r m fea:uring great directors s u c h as Satyajit R a y , M i n n a l S e n a n d S h y a n Benegal. A l l films are subtitled in English a n d the season starts o n T u e s d a y in M e c h E n g 220 at 6:00pm with Company Limited. F o r further information please contact any m e m b e r of the India Society C o m m i t t e e , via the U n i o n .

Company Limited Satyajit R a y , one of the world's foremost directors is noted for his gentle observation of h u m a n nature. In Company Limited he w o r k s his magic again. A n a m b i t i o u s y o u n g Indian in a B r i t i s h c o m p a n y in C a l c u t t a wins the admiration of his boss with a piece of business malpractice. B u t

â&#x20AC;˘October 15.19821

Gold neck wire with black ornaments the tinted drawings of topographers, a n d the 'originals' used by engravers, coloured lightly and soberly. T h e Romantic movement and the perfection of the art of watercolour in this country, coincided at the end of the 18th C e n t u r y , a n d made the English watercolour school the most remarkable in the world. L a n d s c a p e c o u l d express all R o m a n t i c sensitivity, all spiritual moods: it was a limitless realm of poetic freedom. A n d watercolour, with its clean colour, it swiftness a n d lightness . a n d its c l e a r , a l m o s t t r a n s p a r e n t , l i g h t i n g effects, provided the landscape artist with a way of expressing himself in a form that was part realistic, part poetic. J o h n Sell C o t m a h ' s w a t e r c o l o u r s are delightful. H i s drawing is superb and he steers a course on the picturesque side of pretty. H e sometimes uses touches of pure colour to powerful effect and the pictures are light and soft, both in terms of photons-apparentlyemitted a n d in the delicacy of colouring and design. Highly r e c o m m e n d e d to gentlefolk of very civilised disposition! J o h n Sell C o t m a n 1782-1842 is on till O c t 24 and Jewellery by W e n d y R a m s h a w till J a n u a r y 16, both at the V i c t o r i a & Albert M u s e u m , o p e n daily e x c p e t F r i d a y ; M o n - S a t 10:005:00pm; S u n 2:30-5:50pm; both exhibitions are free. he l o s e s s o m e t h i n g m o r e i m p o r t a n t â&#x20AC;&#x201D; t h e respect of his beautiful sister-in-law. This charmingly told tale is a send-up of India's m o c k western business crusaders unfolded in the best of cinematic traditions. T h e British have long left India and the Raj exists only as a memory. But the traditions, the exclusive clubs and gymkhanas and public schools have been left behind to provide a somewhat ill-fitting and pretentious lifestyle for the country's b r o w n sahibs. T h e rich Industrialists. S h y a m a l , the bright, personable and smoothly W e s t e r n i s ed y o u ng m a n is in the running for a coveted seat o n the b o a r d of the British c o m p a n y he w o r k s for. H e is stirred to take stock of his life when his sister-in-law c o m e s to C a l c u t t a from a provincial town for a visit. S he observes all the aspirations to a W e s t e r n style of culture with a m i x t u r e of wonder a n d irony. Ray's greatness lies in his treatment of the subject in s u c h a manner that the superficial strangeness of the characters is s o o n lost and one immediately recognises situations familiar and k n o w n in h u m a n terms. S h ar mila T a g o r e gives a n exquisite portrait of the sister-in-law who combines, so rarely, intelligence and humanity. Ray's heroines are always so bright and deep.


I Sailing

Football

Imperial College was well represented at the F i r e f l y o p e n meetings at the W e l s h H a r p last w e e k e n d . F o u r helms f r o m I C c o m p e t e d i n the F i r e f l y Single Handed Championships on Saturday. After being disq u a l i f i e d i n the first race, S i m o n Richardson took two third places t o c o m e t h i r d o v e r a l l i n the fleet o f twenty a n d left a clear i m p r e s s i o n o n s o m e o f the l o c a l s a i l o r s . Pat M i l l s c o u n t e d a s e c o n d a n d fifth place t o c o m e fourth o v e r a l l . In the open meeting o n S u n d a y three I C crews c o m p e t e d b u t n o n e m a n aged to master the very light winds.

D i c k D o w n s turns d o w n " A n y position offer". After hearing the sensatinal news (above) f o o t b a l l 1st X I p l a y e d i n a c o n s i d e r a b l e state o f shock. F r a n k Bogey R o l l a d i d his best t o e n c o u r a g e the team for sixty m i n u t e s , r e s u l t i n g i n I C leading 2-1. G o a l s through a vintage t u m b l e d o w n goal by weeble D e a n a n d a n u n c h a r a c teristic peice o f b r i l l i a n c e by J o h n L a y . A tactical solution by s k i p p e r A n d y Page b r i n g i n g o u r P h i l o n f o r h i m s e l f gave B r u n e i ' the incentive they needed t o w i n 3-2. T h e n e w c o m e r s A l a n H a r low, G a r r y Lawrence a n d J o h n M c G u c k i n all put in good performances.

Tennis Orienteering T h e first T e n n i s C l u b meeting w i l l be h e l d o n T u e s d a y O c t o b e r 19 a t 1 : 0 0 p m , i n t h e U n i o n U p p e r L o u n g e . If y o u w o u l d like to j o i n the c l u b , then please c o m e a l o n g . Y o u w i l l be able t o f i n d o u t a b o u t the c l u b c a l e n d a r . T h i s includes l a d i e s ' tennis, team trials, coaching, a club tour, a m e n s ' w i n t e r league a n d the u s u a l s u m m e r fixtures. H o p e t o see y o u there.

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T h e c l u b went t o its first event o f the year last S u n d a y i n B u r n h a m Beeches, near S l o u g h . T h e g o i n g was a b i t w e t , a n d there were a few t o o m a n y b r a m b l e s f o r s o m e people. H o w e v e r , a l m o s t everyone c o m p l e t e d the l o n g course, 9.5km, with t w o people going r o u n d the s h o r t e r courses, there were no o u t s t a n d i n g results though.

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Y o u d o n ' t have to be g o o d t o j o i n the c l u b so it doesn't m a t t e r i f y o u h a v e n ' t b o w l e d before B o w l i n g is great f u n so d o c o m e along on a Wednesday. F o r more i n f o r m a t i o n contact C h r i s W e l l s v i a t h e C h e m E n g letterracks.

Ladies S p o r t f o r w o m e n does exist at I C a n d several c l u b s have specific ladies sections. M o s t clubs w o u l d welcome your participat i o n — t h e degree o f i n v o l v e m e n t is u p t o the i n d i v i d u a l , b u t there is p l e n t y o f o p p o r t u n i t y w h i l s t at College to indulge in some athletic a c t i v i t y . J o i n the c l u b f o r the s p o r t y o u are f a m i l i a r with, or try out something new. I f y o u c a n n o t find the relevant p e r s o n t o a p p r o a c h f o r details o f the c l u b y o u w o u l d l i k e t o j o i n , then c o n t a c t me v i a L i f e S c i letter-racks i n B e i t . PS: Anyone who played n e t b a l l at s c h o o l a n d w o u l d l i k e to t h r o w a b a l l a r o u n d again? W e have the offer o f a f r i e n d l y game f r o m G u i l d f o r d i n D e c e m ber so let m e k n o w i f y o u w o u l d like to play.

Dominique Turner

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m o s t l y s c r atch a n d h a n d i c a p so y o u d o n ' t have t o be i n the t e a m to t r a v e l the c o u n t r y a n d m a y b e win a trophy.

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T h e T e n P i n B o w l i n g C l u b meets every W e d n e s d a y at 2 : 3 0 p m outside C h e m E n g where a c o a c h awaits t o t a k e m e m b e r s t o Tolworth Bowl (South of London). T h e c l u b selects i t s best players to b o w l i n the N a t i o n a l Universities League. T h e club bowls against B r u n e i , Portsm o u t h a n d S o u t h a m p t o n i n the S o u t h e r n R e g i o n a l L e a g u e , the winners o f w h i c h go through to b o w l i n the n a t i o n a l finals. There are also m a n y team a n d i n d i v i d u a l events r u n b y colleges and universities a l l over the c o u n t r y . These t o u r n a m e n t s are

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W e g o t o events every S u n d a y , generally i n L o n d o n or the S o u t h - E a s t , as w e l l as events w h i c h we organise f o r ourselves on Wednesday afternoons in L o n d o n p a r k s . O u r next t w o events a r e : o n S u n d a y O c t o b e r 17 at H o l m w o o d C o m m o n , n r D o r k i n g (see the n o t i c e b o a r d , g r o u n d f l o o r o f the U n i o n , f o r details) a n d o n Wednesday O c t o b e r 20 i n R i c h m o n d P a r k , meet b y B e i t A r c h at 12:45. F o r m o r e details, o r i f y o u have a n y queries a b o u t the s p o r t , c o m e to one o f o u r meetings, this a n d every F r i d a y l u n c h t i m e i n the Union SCR.

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Seconds . . . Under new management a n d eviden tl y i n s p i r e d b y the sweat f r o m t h e still d i r t y first t e a m shirts the 2 n d X I p r o d u c e d a performance boardering o n the almost competent. N P L obviously overawed b y the E l d r i g e pre-match training session, w h i c h left most o f the t e a m o n their b a c k s , a l l o w e d I C t o take control a n d i n a rapid counterattack reminiscent o f Goose G r e e n , P a y n e crossed the b a l l a l l o w i n g W i t t e r t o score a w e l l taken goal. A f t e r h a l f - t i m e I C d e c i d e d it h a d been a d a y ' s w o r k w e l l d o n e a n d a l l o w e d N P L to p l a y as w e l l . S o m e s t o l i d defence ensued b u t after a series o f s h o r t corners N P L finally managed a shot o n target a n d honesty prevented W h i t e h e a d f r o m k i c k i n g the b a l l o f f the line twice i n the m a t c h . S o the s u n set o n the final t e n m i n u t e s o f the m a t c h w i t h o n l y Eldriges voice spurring o n a t e a m s p o i l i n g the serenity o f a lovely a u t u m n evening.

•October 15,19821

and Ladies In the U L U 7-a-side t o u r n a m e n t o n S u n d a y I C lsts beat R o y a l F r e e a n d K i n g s b y 2-0; d r e w w i t h C h e l s e a I I a n d lost 0-1 t o St. G e o r g e s . U n f o r t u n a t e l y we d i d n o t q u a l i f y f o r the s e m i finals. A typical I C poor turn-out meant that we h a d t o b o r r o w a few players f r o m S t G e o r g e s t o m a k e u p a s e c o n d t e a m . 1-0 losses were s u s t a i n e d against R o y a l Free, U C H a n d Barts but we d i d m a n a g e a 0-0 d r a w w i t h St T h o m a s . S o m e o f o u r p l a y e r s have been i n v i t e d t o U L U trials a n d as Alison remarked " W e a l l deserve a b l o o d y m e d a l f o r t u r n i n g u p at 8:00 o n a S u n d a y a n y way!" Squad: Janey, Melanie, Sara,

Shirley, Alison, Jo, Karen, Clare, Ruth, Ann, Alison. Special thanks to both C h r i s a n d Pete f o r u m p i r i n g .

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ill* I

Hope you like the new format. It's designed to give major events more prominence; apologies to those who feel their space has been cut. It's nice to see you're beginning to send us artwork and photographs, but please try and make sure they are not printed, dot-screened, etc, and please don't forget the deadline: Monday 5:30pm. o-fnftL.

Today

Party with disco, bar and food.

1300h Union Concert Hall Islamic Society Prayers 1300h JCR Angling Club Meeting

1900h

Willis Jackson House

210081

Sherfield Building

Southside Bar

2130h Gig: Skat

-Skat are a group who play cheerful pop music with a tongue in cheek country and western influence.

Life Sciences Freshers' Dinner with disco and bar afterwards. Free admission to the disco for anyone attending any R C S Freshers' Dinner.

Sunday CCU Offices

0900h

- A t last your long promised chance to terrorise the shopping streets of London in aid of Mencap. Make sure that vast amounts of money are earned. A Woody Allen double-bill tonight at 7:00pm.

Snooker Room

Snooker Club Freshers' Tournament

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IC Cross Country Club takes part in the University College relay races over 1 / miles. Sign up on the cross country noticeboard and bring your tube fare.

1930h Paint Your Face Discotheque f

23 October

830

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for punted Is :her, JL1 40 ICU

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-If you want to win medals and glory this is definitely the event for you.

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Union Concert Hall

Ents present Doll by Doll with disco and support. Admission fl -Doll by Doll's Caritas was one of last year's best singles, taken from their excellent and eponymous third album. It is well worth paying S.1 to hear this song alone (if they play it!)

lOctober 15, 19821

Monday

Under Union Clock

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3

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0945h

Tiddlywinks

Mech Eng 220

Film S o c p r e s e n t a W o o d y Allen Double Bill with Love and Death and Stardust Memories.

2230h Falmouth Kitchens Soup Run

Saturday

-your chance to meet other members of your department at a formal dinner. Remember to wear your suit.

1900h

Ken Livingstone, whose visit on Tuesday is sure to draw the biggest crowd of the week.

1245H

Union Upper Lounge

Debating Society debate the motion. 'This House believes that m u l t i l a t e r i s t s live in a dream world'. The debate will finish by 1:20pm.

1300h Room 346 Huxley Introductory Talk on Transcendental Meditation

1745h Great Hall Imperial College Wind Band Rehearsal

1900h Sherfield Building Chem Eng Freshers Dinner

I FELIX


1300h Green Committee Room

Elec Eng 408

1930h

U L U Fay re

Wellsoc present Graham Massey of B B C ' s

Horizon

programme will be giving a lecture entitled 'The Making of Horizon'. His lecture will be illustrated with videotapes spanning twenty years. -Again Wellsoc have managed what should be to produce an entertaining evening.

SF Soc are holding a library meeting.

Just in case you couid not find the society or club for you at Freshers' Fair, or you think you're good enough to play sport for the University of London, U L U are holding an introductory fayre on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday afternoons at which forty societies and thirty sport clubs as well as U L U Ents, U L U Film C l u b and the London

Student

newspaper will be represented. T h e

Fayre is being held in the U L U Building, Malet Street, W C 1 . So if you've got nothing to do this must be worth a visit.

1300h Huxley 341 Introductory talk on Transcendental Meditation -again!

1330h - a talk given Cruise

1330h

Tuesday .

__ .

Great

Han

1245h

Lecture Theatre

Wednesday

Exploring the Unhabitable R i c W h a r t o n s p e a k s on the salvage of the H M S E d i n burgh Bullion and North S e a Oilfield during problems.

Socialist Society present Ken Livingstone, leader of the G L C , who will be speaking on 'The G L C and London Transport'. -Few local government leaders can have been in the news as often as Ken Livingstone leader of the GLC. His 'Fares Fair' policy for London Transport has caused enormous controversy since the Law Lords ruled that it was illegal. Even if you don't agree with what is said this talk will be interesting, man's lively and witty. This policy affets you, so make should sure you attend what be one of the highlights of the week.

-After last weeks excellent start this underpublicised lecture series is well worth attending. Congratulations to IC Exploration Board on organising what looks like turning out to be an excellent series of lectures.

ULU Building

PM ULU Intro Fayre -See

inset

panel

1800h TV Lounge STOIC repeat lunchtime's broadcast. Mech Eng 220

1800h

. _ _ _.

C h e m Eng E400

1230h

Methodist Society present Rev Stewart Jordan who will talk on O n e World Week. Lunch will be available. Room 340 Huxley

1300h !

S C F present a series of talks called 'Crucial Questions for Today'. T h e first talk in the series is 'D o All Religions Lead to G o d ? ' and will be given by Sir Norman Anderson. -Good old New Testament , Christianity expounded by the author of a number of popular books on the subject. Essential for serious-minded Christians and worth a visit from interested pagans.

Linstead Courts

m , 1 3 0 0 H n

n

n

India Society p r e s e n t ' F i l m C o m p a n y Limited' a film by Satyajit Ray.

Tennis Club trials. Both new and old members are welcome, this is not a team selection.

1800h

1400h

1300h TV Lounges STOIC broadcast an interview with Mark Hammill of Star Wars.

j

4

n

n

k

l O U U n

Physics Lecture Theatre 2

Mopsoc present the

H

bomb

for

Harnessing electricity by

U

SCR

The Wine Tasting Society—A tasting of Bulgarian wines.

1830h Quiet Room, Sherfield Audio Society meeting

Professor David Bugg of Queen Mary College.

U n i o n

U p p e r

Lounge

Tennis Club meeting -Anyone interested in finding out about club activities should turn up.

Thursday -f O O n u

Southside Upper Lounge

i / o U n

Romantic

FELIX

1300h TV Lounge

Orchestra.

STOIC present

2230h Falmouth Kitchens Soup Run

ULU Building

PM ULU Fayre -See

inset

panel

1745h Mech Eng 342 IC Choir rehearsal -As this always finishes not promptly at 1930h, why come and collate FELIX for half an hour afterwards? Collating needs no skill or experience, is a good chance to meet the staff, and is the only way to get a copy of FELIX on Thursday evening. >

STOIC repeat broadcast.

the

lunchtime

M e c h

E n g

220

Ents present: 'Dressed to Kill' -If you really enjoy the sort where a girl of horror movies roams the streets hacking at with a cut throat razor people this is for you. This film starring Michael Caine, Angie Dickinson and Nancy is certainly not the sort of film the BBC would use for the Sunday afternoon spot.

'Newsbreak'

1900h Sherfield Building Chemistry Freshers' Dinner

Lunch Hour Concert Bernard Roberts (piano)

4l ooonim 3 0 r l

Art Club meeting

I330rl Lecture Theatre The Evolution of the Orchestra Richard Dickins, conductor of IC Orchestra, continues his series of illustrated lectures. This week The

Music Room 53 Princes Gate

133011

insert.

ICYHA Butties Meeting.

Read

The Ascent of Man Harvest of the Seasons

ULU Fayre

1900h Zoo/Bot Common Room

•i M A / I I -

The Great Hall

1330h

ULU Building

PM -See

Baha'i Society w i l l h o l d a n informal discussion and slideshow.

Edward

Cross Country Club are holding a five mile race in Richmond Park. Please bring £1 for the coach fare.

1830h Union Gym

1830h Physics Common Room

by Father

OSB.

Beit Arch

Judo Practice

•l tOoUnUntul

Lecture Theatre

Christians in Latin America

1830h Union Gym 1 30011

Botany Basement Lecture Theatre

Natural History Society Lecture 'Whaling' by Mark Glover of Greenpeace.

October 15,1982

Judo Practice 1900h Sherfield Building Computing Freshers' Dinner

Pogel5


(Sporting C h a n c e ) ; S i m o n M o r r o w (Holding the B a b y ) ; a n d , G S G i r o l a m i ( B a n a n a ' s Revenge). A l l four w i n £10, a n d , if they have not already done so, they c a n collect their prizes from the F E L I X Office. Incidentally, G S G i r o l a m i a n d S i m o n M o r r o w were the only ones to solve their respective puzzles, so congratulations to t h e m . N o w for the solutions:

I Y o u remember the parties at Primelia College? W e l l , there was a n extra party this weekend, a n d Q u e n t i n , R i c h a r d , Steve a n d T i m each t o o k o n e of M a r y , M a n d y , M u n g o and M i d g e . I tried to find out who took w h o , a n d elicited the following responses. R i c h a r d said "I didn't go with M u n g o , " Q u e n t i n said "I didn't go with M a n d y , " T i m said "I didn't go with M i d g e , " Q u e n t i n said "I didn't go with M a r y , " Steve said "I didn't go with M a n d y " . Unfortunately, I l a t e r f o u n d o u t t h a t o n l y o n e of t h e s e statements was true. S o w h o went with who?

Letters & Figures A m b l e solved 9 puzzles, B u m b l e solved 20. S p o r t i n g Chance Hundred Metres Mile Steeplechase Hurdles

Last Week's Solution

15-05

09-65 14-115

9C-5C

2 Q T R P

3 R Q S T

4 S P T Q

5 T S P R

Banana's Revenge

Solutions, comments,criticisms to me at the FELIX Office by Wednesday, 1:00pm. £5 from Mend-a-Bike for a randomly selected entry.

W e l l , n o not last week's p u z z l e , but the one before that. T h e correct solution to the puzzle in F E L I X 621 was: 1st P a r t y : R i c h a r d / M u n g o , S t e v e / M i d g e , Tim/Mary. 2 n d Party: R i c h a r d / M i d g e , S t e v e / M u n g o , Tim/Mary. 3rd Party: R i c h a r d / M a r y , Steve/Mungo, Tim/Midge. 4th P a r t y : R i c h a r d / M u n g o , S t e v e / M a r y , T i m / M i d g e , and the winner, randomly selected, was J W a r d of C h e m E n g 1, and the £5 prize will be in the F E L I X Office o n M o n d a y after 1:00pm. N o w b a c k to G e n e r a l Reisenschein. N o b o d y has p r o d u c e d a correct solution, so the puzzle will be r u n for another week. Y o u are required to dissect a square from which a right-angled isoscles triangle has been cut (see diagram) into four congruent shapes.

1 P R Q S

M y only hint is that the following shape, contrary t o popular belief, does in fact have a continuous perimeter (for proof, see nearly any mathematician).

B a n a n a ' s R e v e n g e is s u c h a n i n c r e d i b l y difficult problem that I'd like t o leave the solution t o next week, a n d t o present the problem to the freshers, a n d those w h o missed F E L I X 618. There's n o prize for solving it, but y o u m a y care to k n o w that it took the English C h e s s T e a m , even by their c o m b i n e d efforts, about a week to d o it. A n o l d chess-playing computer w a s set to play against itself a n d , although all its moves are legal, its moves are not always sensible. In one game it played, white played first, playing p a w n t o k i n g 4, a n d o n its fifth m o v e , black finished the game by knight takes rook, giving mate. C a n y o u supply the missing moves?

Holding the Baby

Scaramouche's Final Bow I n o w also have the solutions to the puzzles of the last F E L I X of the summer t e r m , all of th em n o w solved. T h e winners were: T i m Pigden (Letters & Figures); K e n M o r i s o n

This p u z z l e , k n o w n as the C e n t u r y puzzle since it takes exactly one h u n d r e d moves, appeared in the b o o k W i n n i n g W a y s , reviewed in F E L I X 620. T h e r e is a similar puzzle, k n o w n as the Century-and-a-Half which takes 151 m o v e s , w h i c h consists of inverting the shapes (the first a n d last moves are only half-moves, hence the Century-and-a-half). T h e solution is s h o w n , together with the number of moves required. B y turning the page upside-down you'll see the only other 100-move solution to the C e n t u r y .

0/.-69

08-6/.

98-58

£6-16

129-130

137-138

142-143

150-151

tu \z-oz

001-66

Li £l-Z\

-0

FELIX is published by the Editor for and on behalf of Imperial College Union Publications Board, and is printed by the Union Print Unit, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB, Tel. 01-589 5111 Ext 1048 or Internal 2881. Editor: Martin S Taylor; Business Manager: Peter A Rodgers; Advertising Manager: Nick Thexton. Copyright FELIX 1982.


Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

Saturday

Sunday

Waitrose Opening Times M o n 1pm—7pm Tues 9am—6pm Wed 9am—6pm Thurs 9am—8pm Fri 9am—8pm Sat 8:30am—4pm Bookshop Opening Times During Termtime: 9:15am—5:15pm Haldane Library Mon-Fri 9:30am—9pm Saturday 9:30am-5:30pm

http://felixonline.co.uk/archive/IC_1982/1982_0623_A  

http://felixonline.co.uk/archive/IC_1982/1982_0623_A.pdf

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