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The Newspaper of Imperial College Union

at IC

Sir Keith Joseph described himself as "thoroughly inadequately educated" at a meeting in Huxley Lecture Theatre 213 last Tuesday. A member of the audience later referred to him as "a fossil" in a question on the Falkland crisis. The m e e t i n g was o r g a n i s e d by the C o n s e r v a t i v e Society a n d the c r o w d of 150 i n c l u d e d the R e c t o r , L o r d F l o w e r s . S i r K e i t h has been a l e a d i n g figure i n the C o n s e r v a t i v e p a r t y for o v e r t w e n t y - f i v e years a n d has served u n d e r four different P r i m e M i n i s t e r s . H e a d m i t t e d that the c o u n t r y h a d been g o i n g d o w n h i l l since he b e c a m e i n v o l v e d i n g o v e r n m e n t , a v i e w e c h o e d by a questioner. H e spoke for a b o u t fifteen m i n u t e s a n d later a n s w e r e d questions for t h i r t y m i n u t e s . S t a r t i n g his speech, he o u t l i n e d the u s u a l C o n s e r v a t i v e p o l i c y o f the necessity for a s o u n d t r a d i n g base, before t a l k i n g a b o u t e d u c a t i o n i n p a r t i c u l a r . H i s views were the same as those expressed by his j u n i o r M i n i s t e r W i l l i a m W a l d e g r a v e last F r i d a y (see elsewhere). S i r K e i t h was asked a b o u t overseas students, teacher t r a i n i n g , his " d i s a s t r o u s " t e r m as M i n i s t e r for S o c i a l Services a n d l a t e r I n d u s t r y , the F a l k l a n d s a n d b o t h the q u a n t i t y a n d q u a l i t y of engineers b e i n g p r o d u c e d b y universities. H o w e v e r , S i r K e i t h was not asked a n y questions o n the future levels of student grants or loans.

"To

you,

my boy, fifty million..."

And now for the facts M r W i l l i a m W a l d e g r a v e , J u n i o r M i n i s t e r responsible for Higher E d u c a t i o n a d d r e s s e d t h e S t a n d i n g C o n f e r e n c e of U n i v e r s i t y I n f o r m a t i o n Officers at 170 Q u e e n s g a t e last F r i d a y . H e w a r n e d the universities that r e m a r k s like " t h e government is b r i n g i n g o u r i n s t i t u t i o n to its k n e e s " m a y w e l l cause the public to lose confidence i n h i g h e r e d u c a t i o n . H e r e c o m m e n d e d that universities w o r k h a r d e r o n d e v e l o p i n g r e l a t i o n s h i p s w i t h the l o c a l community a n d the p u b l i c at large. H e i n c l u d e d i n d u s t r y i n the general public, stressing the i m p o r t a n c e of o b t a i n i n g increased f i n a n c i a l support from research c o n t r a c t s etc. W h e n a n s w e r i n g questions, the M i n i s t e r s a i d t h a t i f the current c u t b a c k s m e a n t a 5% increase i n e x t e r n a l f u n d i n g i n fifteen years the w h o l e c a m p a i g n c o u l d be v i e w e d as a success. R C S U n i o n President-Elect, M r K a r l Schmidt, and V i c e President, Miss Fiona O w e n , are c o v e r e d w i t h g u n ge as p a r t of t h e i r i n i t i a t i o n . The C C U A G M s were a l l h e l d o n T u e s d a y — a r e p o r t a n d m o r e pictures o^ page 3.

No: 614

U n i o n P r e s i d e n t N i c k M o r t o n said that M r Waldegrave was " f a r m o r e reasonable t h a n his boss S i r K e i t h J o s e p h " a n d was pleased t h a t the D e p a r t m e n t of E d u c a t i o n a n d Science's v i e w was gradually m o v i n g t o w a r d ' s the U n i o n ' s o w n v i e w .

Friday, M a y 14,1982

Free!


Dear

Mark

The

F E L I X

reporting

r e a l l y is d e t e r i o r a t i n g . O n the front

page o f issue 613

q u o t e me

you

as s a y i n g " w e l l

suppose that's four

I

fewer

• social colours w e ' l l be a w a r d ing."

I n fact

I said,

"well,

- that's five fewer social colours w e ' l l be a w a r d i n g . " Y o u m a y w i s h to ignore the reserve, M r Z i g m u n t Lozcinski, but I do not. I k n o w he was a n i n t e g r a l . p a r t o f the t e a m . Furthermore,

FELIX

re-

p o r t e d th at I w o n the beerdrinking

competition

at

the

nearby Pineapple. Hogwash! L l o s t by a distance. I was last to l e a v e

the hostelry

after

great p r o b l e m s h a n d l i n g m y Dear

t h i r d , c o l d , fizzy excuse for a

Mark

We

feel

that

President-

E l e c t s w i t h beards are devious and

p i n t of bitter. Anyway,

well done

the

totally untrustworthy

t e a m ( a l l five) o n g e t t i n g so

a n d h a v e therefore d e c i d e d to

far i n the c o m p e t i t i o n a n d m y

shave off Steve

thanks to the l o y a l supporters.

Goulder's

f a c i a l fungus p u b l i c a l l y at the

Tours

R a g F e t e o n receipt of £100

Nick Morton

Yours

towards R a g . Phil

Nathan

Pallab Ghosh

PS:

No

tinian

luck on scrap

a n y other

the A r g e n -

metal

dealers,

ideas?

Bookshop News E v e r y p o u n d profit that the B o o k s h o p m a k e goes to the student u n i o n s , a n d t h e r e b y eases the d e m a n d s o n the C o l l e g e finances. T h e r e f o r e in these days of severe financial difficulties, it is of vital i m p o r t a n c e that e v e r y o n e w h o will be giving a n undergraduate, postgraduate or post-experience lecture during the next a c a d e m i c year t o inform the B o o k s h o p of the r e c o m m e n d e d textbooks. If b y c h a n c e a n y l e c t u r e r h a s n o t h a d a c o p y of o u r r e c o m m e n d e d reading list to fill i n , either from their department or t h r o u g h t h e internal mail, these lists are available from the B o o k s h o p . T h e s o o n e r w e have these c o m p l e t e d lists back the b e t t e r c h a n c e w e have of e n s u r i n g that all r e c o m m e n d e d t e x t b o o k s a r e in s t o c k w h e n they are needed. The Phoenix 1982, the magazine of Imperial C o l l e g e U n i o n is available free of charge f r o m the B o o k s h o p . W e also have a few of the 1981 edition available. New Titles Miraculous Circumstances-the adult comic, L u d d i t e Enterprises 65p. Collected Works of Frank James V6, K e e l F i c s , free ( T O S ) . Dictionary of Literary Terms by J . C u d d o n , P e n g u i n £4.95. W r i t e r s at Work by G . P l i m p t o n , P e n g u i n £3.95. - Within Whickers World by A l a n W h i c k e r , E l m T r e e B o o k s £8.95. How to Survive as a Working Mother by L . G a r n e r , Jill N o r m a n £3.50. The Hound and the Falcon by A n t o n i a W h i t e , V i r a g o £2.95. The Hangman's Crusade by J a m e s B a r w i c k , P a n £1.75. N e c k of the Giraffe by F r a n c i s H i t c h i n g , P a n £2.50. Zig-Zag by R i c h a r d T h o r n l e y , P i c a d o r £1.95 F r o s t in May Book 1 & 2 by A n t o n i a W h i t e , F o n t a n a £1.95 each. Stamps of the World 1982 Stanley G i b b o n s £17.95 now £ 1 5 . 9 5 . British Commonwealth £13.50 now £11.50. Something for Everyone Attack siren inc. Holster £4.50 Customer Query—FELIX 613 Shadow the Sheepdog by E n i d B l y t o n 45p is n o w out of print. M a y I suggest Victor the Vulture by J a n e H o l i d a y 80p. P a g e 4 F E L I X 613 D o n ' t forget t o join B C F & R T T C C a n one become a 2nd claim member?

Page 2

•Wan ted: One female student to share a large double bedroom in an excellent basement flat (with lounge) for 4 girls from July 1982 for 1yr. Only 1 min walk from IC—Queens Gate Terrace, rent £ 1 0 0 p c m i n c hot water a n d central heating. Kathy Moore, Physics 2 or Doreen Thomas C h e m 2 or phone • Z X - 8 1 + 4K R A M offer includes ZX584-2933. Asteroids & Breakout, also "Mastering Machine Code", £70ono C P . Jones, • A c c o m m o d a t i o n : 2 girls wanted to share flat for 8 with 2 other girls arid 4 C h e m 2 tetter-racks. •S i n cl air ZX81 with Sinclair 16K R A M . l a d s in F u l h a m / E a r l s C t , £ 2 1 pw. Board mounted for 100% reliability. Phone 381-2741. Modified R O M fitted and complete • P e o p l e n e e d e d to s h a r e flat in with extensive range of software £70. Putney, £21 pw, contact P. G h o s h , Physics 2. Contact J . Wright, C h e m 3. •S i n cl air ZX81 'John Prince Software' • S i n g l e room available for female cassette games, eg 'Astro Invaders' student in a flat of 7 (3 female, 3 male) only £3.75 (for set of 4 games). For in Hamlet Gardens next year, £17.50 further details contact Roger, Int 3984. contact Erica Fuller, Physics 1. • C a s i o 502P + FA1 adaptor, as new • S o u t h s i d e S h o p s p o r t s w e a r sale only £45. Please contact Behbahani, continues. Racquets, training shoes and many m i s c e l l a n e o u s items C h e m Eng letter-racks. •1971 Austin 1100, good condition, reduced. £225ono, W. Fahy, Int 3287. • B e e r & Bangers, Wednesday, May • F e r g u s o n Cassiever 3925 A M FM 26. Names to Jen by 5:00pm, Friday, stereo tuner, A M P , cassette recorder, May 21. £40, C . Mitchell, Civ Eng letter-racks. • C o m e to the Rag Fete, Saturday, • P a i r of Wharfedale Linton, 3-way, 2:00pm, Queens Lawn. loudspeakers, £40. Phone 373-8307 or • A n y o n e interested in a t h e s p i a n J . Bicarregui, Maths 2 letter-racks. holiday at the Edinburgh Fringe, Aug 23 for 2wks, contact 'Eric' Jarvis, c / o • A b e a u t i f u l pair of S W A L L O W D r a m s o c , IC U n i o n or m e e t o n R m 2 0 0 s with s t a n d for £ 2 0 0 o n o . Sunday at 2:00pm, Upper Lounge. P h o n e S h e z i , 4 4 4 - 5 0 7 2 (eves) or • B o o k for sale: Genetic ExperimentsAbedi, Physics 2. some recent failures S W N , Aero 2. • N A D 3020 amplifier, £55ono. Contact • B a y e r n Munich Fan C l u b meeting: G . J . Smith, Civ Eng 2. Intensive Care, St. Stephens Hosp, • Olympus OM10 with 50mm f1.8 anytime. manual adaptor, c a s e , instructions guarantee, as new £ 8 0 o n o . Apply Rm • C o m e on, L e o n a r d o — B H S (Reading) waits to succumb to your seductive 151, Falmouth Hall. • E K O Jumbo acoustic guitar with soft charms. Retribution is sweet. case, £ 5 0 o n o . Contact Roger, int 3984. • " G r a s s h o p p e r ' Doyle versus 'Flasher' • F o o t b a l l supporters rattle-collectors A n d r e w s — a n o t h e r 51 p r o m o t i o n . item, £2.50; stereo headphones £2.50, Watch out for further details. • P a i n in the arse? Arun has and we Roger, Int 3984. want to know why! • L o s t : one large lump scrap metal, • A l a n — o n l y 7 weeks to wait. Please s m a l l s e n t i m e n t a l v a l u e . If f o u n d be patient. please contact C . Teller, IC Union • R o b H i l l d o e s t h i n g s with rats Office. (NFRS-OK). • A n y girl wishing to swop their place in Beit for a place in Falmouth next • F o r s a l e : M i c r o m e t e r , s l i g h t l y damaged, no case. Phone Int 2232 for session please contact Z o e George, details. Geol 2.

Small Ads

Dancing T h e Inter-Varsity D a n c i n g C o m p e t i t i o n a n d Ball are organised annually by the Inter-Varsity D a n c i n g A s s o c i a t i o n . A p a r t f r o m spectating at this colourful event, e a c h affiliated English U n i v e r s i t y enters a team to c o m p e t e for individual a n d team trophies. O n M a r c h 5 the team a n d a c o a c h l o a d of s u p p o r t e r s h e a d e d for S o u t h a m p t o n . B y this stage, we h a d bought t w o n ew 'body s t o c k i n g s ' for the female L a t i n - A m e r i c a n d a n c e r s , w h i c h were rather daring to say the least, so with these, the n ew hairdos, a n d V i c k y ' s specially-dyed pink s h o e s , the female side of the team at least felt well-prepared for w h a t w a s to c o m e . A t the G u i l d h a l l , the e n o r m o u s b a l l r o o m meant that seventeen couples c o u l d all d a n c e at o n c e — t h o u g h the s p r u n g floor d i d take s o m e getting u s e d to! O n c e again, o u r b a l l r o o m couples d i d well: M e l a n i e a n d S i m o n were placed fifth in the waltz; V i c k y a n d A l l a n (Logan) were placed sixth in the q u i c k s t e p ; R e b e c c a a n d A l a n (Edwards) in the team for the first time, s h o w e d a certain promise by getting into the s e c o n d r o u n d i n the jive, as di d Sally a n d R i c h a r d w h o were u n l u c k y not to get further with their chac h a routine. I C also e n t e r e d a c o u p l e for the ' O p e n ' c o m p e t i t i o n w h i c h this year was the s a m b a . M a r i o n a n d D a o u d p e r f o r m e d a d m i r a b l y — e s p e c i a l l y since D a o u d h a d not done a n y d a n c i n g until he c a m e t o I C last September. A f t e r the finals, the 'Off B e a t ' team event w a s held. T h i s c o m p e t i t i o n is o p e n to all c l u b m e m b e r s , a n d consists of a three-minute ' s k e t c h ' , the prize being a w a r d e d for the most original a n d entertaining entry. C o l i n L e w i s , o u r c h o r e o g r a p h e r , h a d p r o d u c e d .a very novel a n d funny piece called ' T h e E u r o v i s i o n D a n c e C o m p e t i t i o n ' p e r f o r m e d to T o m L e h r e r ' s The Vatican Rag (Italy) a n d The Masochism Tango (Spain). T h i s entry w a s placed fifth. A s with the S o u t h e r n C o m p e t i t i o n there w a s plenty of general d a n c i n g for the s p e c t a t o r s to s t r e t c h their legs a n d a L a t i n A m e r i c a n d e m o n s t r a t i o n by the F l e t c h e r s . A small aside for those in the know C o n t r a r y to popular r u m o u r , this year o u r infamous ' M i s s Q u i c k s t e p ' did not injure herself m o u n t a i n climbing a few w e e k s before the S o u t h e r n C o m p e t i t i o n (like last y e a r ) — r a t h e r she splint herself o p e n sliding down a m o u n t a i n o n N e w Y e a r ' s D a y ( m u c h m o r e considerate; after all it gave her a whole month for the bits to w e l d together again).

FELIX, May 14, 1982


RCS Awards A n u m b e r of a w a r d s were presented at Tuesday's Royal College of Science U n i o n Annual G e n e r a l M e e t i n g before next year's executive officers were initiated. D r Brian Morgan was presented with a pot for his past services as H o n o r a r y S e n i o r Treasurer and Union General Awards were made to: N . ChildeHarmer, A . Edwards, P. Greenstreet, M . Ledwold, D . T h o m p son (Ex Officio) and N . W a t mough. M r Nick Childe-Harmer also received the D e r r y c k B o n d Memorial Award for new heights in tactlessness, while T . Everett was the top R a g collector and received a new trophy in the shape of a R a g can.

Double delay The I C U Council meeting and the i n t e r - C C U swimming gala advertised for last Monday in this term's F E L I X c a l e n d a r were both cancelled this week and both rescheduled for Monday, M a y 11. The swimming gala will now be held in the Sports Centre at 6:30pm and will include a Presidents' race and an interC C U water polo match. The cancellation of Council was due to Honorary Secretary M a r c o Ledwold failing to send out notification. M r Ledwold has since gone to Sweden to represent I C at the sixth I n t e r n a t i o n a l C o n f e r e n c e of S t u d e n t s of Technology ( I N C O S T ) . However the three events are thought to be unconnected. Steve Bishop (left) takes the C&GU President's coat from retiring President Andy Rushton at Tuesday's C&GU Handover UGM i Nick

H o w about something ° n g the l i es o f " G e t absolutely, pisised out ol yoi Mark your b r a i n the M o o n e y way — i We want to promote bulk I drink 10% more beer or 7 V % | beer sales for parties—there is more wine for your m o n e y f a 10% discount on bar prices. A l t e r n a t i v e l y : S i c k of^ There is also a 7'/ % discount Drugs? H o w about t r y i n g ^ on wine p u r c h a s e s o f six beer and wine again at your bottles or more. C a n y o u parties—it's much cheaper, knocl? up some sort of imalegal and you can be violently I ginative ad? Maybe along the i l l this way t o o ! V . M . o f l lines o f " V i c t o r ' s P a r t y Sherfield says " A t my parties' Special"? I throw back a barrel a n d a Thanks' 'half o f Scrungedale's O l d Nick 'Revolting and seven or eight Next year's RCS Executive being painted in the Beit Quad on litres of Peruvian Liebfrau-1 Tuesday: (\eft to right) Karl Schmidt (President) and Fiona Owen milch before / throw! A n d all I for nothing—sorry, all for 10% j less on beer, 7 V % on wine." a J

n

2

2

Obituary: Nigel Creatorex

D r Nigel Greatorex, former Subwarden of Falmouth H a l l , was killed in an automobile accident on M a y 1 in the New Forest near Beaulieu in Hampshire. L o r d Montague of Beaulieu was driving the other car .and escaped serious injury. As an undergraduate at Imperial College from 1971 to 1974, Nigel gained a first class honours degree in Electrical Engineering at the age of 19 winning the Sylvanius P. Thompson medal and the Willis Jackson M e m o r i a l Scholarship in his second year. As a postgraduate he gained his P h D in 1977 through research into linear induction motors with Professor Eric Laithwaite, and was at the same time Subwarden of Falmouth H a l l , Assistant Editor of I C O N , Captain of the Croquet C l u b and an active sailor in the Solent based Contessa 32 fleet. A f t e r l e a v i n g I C to work at G E C i n N o r t h L o n d o n , N i g e l maintained close social and professional contacts with IC. His funeral was held at Holy Trinity C h u r c h in Prince Consort Road on Tuesday. He was an active supporter of the Institution of Electrical Engineers and was the schools liason officer of the I E E Y o u n g London Members Committee. His many friends at Imperial College are planning to donate a trophy in his memory for the Contessa 32 class in the annual Cowes Week Regatta, in which Nigel had crewed annually since 1976. FELIX,

Cheap ff booze

2

Don't mention it Mark

J

The following posts are available: Warden, Southwell House (suitable married postgraduate). Further information from K. Kannan (Int 3512). Application forms can be obtained from the Union Office. Last date May 24. Subwarden and Assistant Subwardens, Tizard Hall (preference given to postgraduates and post-doctoral staff who intend remaining at Imperial for at least two years). Applications with details of relevant experience should be sent to Dr M H R Hutchinson, Tizard Hall, before May 31. Subwarden and Assistant Subwardens, Falmouth Keogh Halls (successfully applicants wouldnormally be postgraduates, but applications from others considered). Applications, including a concise but informative curriculum vitae to Dr P W Jowitt, Civ Eng dept. Closing date May 21. Warden, Rayleigh House . (suitable married postgraduate expecting to remain at IC for a further two years). Applications forms from Union Office. Closing date for applications June 1.

May 14, 1982

MiPage

3


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MNSM W a s s e r s t r o m d o e s n o t go far e n o u g h , N o w l e t ' u s for the time being ignore trade * » W ^ ^ h o w e v e r . H e neglects to point o u t ! that if *ve?- c o n t a c t s !betwfi"en S A a n d w i s h t o h o k T o n ' t o the c o n c e p t "of h u m a n r i g h t s j I M ' p ^ i b l e i in ^ r | r M ^ | f ^ & . i & p c ^ - . B | | l t 7 0 (as elucidated above), t h e n it is i n c u m b e n t S t e r l i n g A*rea i n v e s t m e n t s i n S A t o t a l l e d u p o n us to try to see that they are h o n o u r e d £ l , 9 8 3 x l 0 . j In 1969 D o l l a r A r e a investments e v e r y w h e r e , a n d for a l l , by,.all. h u m a n beings • th«»e-tQiplfedj-W5m IpjJ97ft " B r i t a H M t h e , | J S A , (blacks i n c l u d e d , poles included). N o t tg d o so,-, F r a n c e , ; Sw{t,^ei^an^L JSfiKf^an^ a p d j ^ p a n w o u l d be t o r e l i n q u i s h 3 ahpye, a n d thus to' . have. ..£2,875rn. ,'sier)ir^: Q l a n t ^ , , i n j S A . ^ ^ ^ s have the w h o i e s t r u c t u r e of h u m a n s r i g h t s , g r o w i n g form (hem in a clirnate of siaW!ity."an|i collapse about us (and consider for a m o m e n t ' p r o g r e s s ' ' — S o u t h African'government all the types of c l a i m s that y o u c a n n o t m a k e if ' 'fadvefhsemerrf ' i n ' F T ' '6f 3uri'e 2 Z ' ' l f 7 0 . '.fn'fe y o u relinquish the c o n c e p t 'of h u m d h ' r i g h t s . ) ' ' s u g g e s t s t o u s a r e a s o n w h y r e d o B t t W W f e t h e c o m p l a c e n c y p f i i t h e W e s t , in par tic u lar, W e s t e r n " ciapifc* w « ' " futrtBttgr-its ' W a l ^ i n ' ^ c h t o w a r d s S A , is i n c o n s i s t e n t ^ a n d m o r a l l y ' l a r g e ; ' q u a 4 i t i e s c ! i n t o ' S A i T h e retrirhs vfcerteso i m p e r m i s s i b l e , w h e n one c o n s i d e r s the gewbed! G o n s i d e i p p f t T t b e p e r i b t i 1960-68* t h e Reagan-type noises ^ e y m a k e a b o u t h u m a n : f. awerageannuatiateJohnetaarii (bfter S A i t a x f c S n r i g h t s i n P o l a n d a n d A f g h a . n j s t a n . i h ? . . . o t h er v 4 i F > i ^ - ^ ^ ' ^ l n V 9 $ t « ^ t i ( ) i i n i S ^ ' « « l m v M l w o r d s , o u r a t t i t u d e t o w a r d s S A c a n n o t • - f e e l o w ^ c ^ ^ e t w e e j t , - ; ! ^ ^ arid .J,9^8H^ b e . . . . " t h e r e is n o f h f r i g w e c a n d o s h p r t o,f, averaged I 2 ^ j jx..ci .blowbiJ M t-»ilz m i l i t a r y c o e r c i o n . . .5so l e t u s d o p r e c i s e l y ' . ] ^ t ^ , f i r .a,,i|tpnimt^|f^H^ f)tl)e jUffstiop n o t h i n g . " T h e q u e s t i o n of w h e t h e r a c t i o n is p f w h y i ' ^ A p r o v i d e d s u c h consistent^!, Ttigh n e c e s s a r y is thus a n s w e r e d . W h e t h e r it'" be ' r e t u r n s f o r , f o r e i sn c a p i t a l , a p d j o p k a t ^ a r ^ t :pfa G r a e m e S h a w ' s call for a t o t a l b o y c o t t o n S A s'peech"'by t h e " I^dndbh D i r e c t o r pi of the SS A i o r t h e C h a p l a i n ' s c a l l for p r e s s u r e On F d U n d a t i o i j , W8® in i 9 7 0 : ' c o m p a n i e s like B a r c l a y s , o r w h e t h e r ft Be y o u r n O-UJV/A U n o o n M individual r e s p o n s e to r e m o v i n g y o u r i b a n k If y,qu l q o K a.t ,thf; |^e.al ,t>asis, ,Q^ t j j e irelatibhship b e t w e e n $ r i f a t n " a n d S A V ' ^ n l c h ' i s a c c o u n t f r o m B a r c l a y s a n d refusal to buy S A arie of - m u t u a l self^nt'e'reM arirf a ^ c o ^ H i ' t i 6 f i b f g o o d s , it is all to the g o p d i for it constitutes a c t i o n . N o n e are to dismiss the a c t i o n s , or^call 'whefee' poi|ver MieS iri"'tirrns bT' ec6nc^nfc"'ahH strat£gi c i s t r e n g t h , theW^atiMvlll'Se¥14rifs for a c t i o n of o t h e r s i n this field as 'unrealistic', r e l a t i o n s h t p . g r o w m g sitroua^Tf, , vsi It s e e m s to me to n e e d littje thought, to t

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expand]a little on the thoughts^, is*; F E L E j 630. There,s^ems t p , o n f u s i q j i as t o t h e r i g h t s , be | I burstan rights, of Black S o u t h sjxiciKcaily t is j n j p r t u n a t e b e c a u s e t h e . Africans'. T igt^s'-'qca. very useful one •-• ncc pt ot ! jat-'tha. moral issues are in S A for deciding; nbt action should be taken. I and w h e t h e r o n t h e n , between the process m a k e a dibti: a>. a c i i o n is n e c e s s a r y , and of d e c i d i n g t o r n this action should take, deciding w h ; tttuije, seems to have been put F u r t h e r , the about that, "i t h o u g h "•we deplore what S A is d p i n g , s h o r t of s l i t n g o u r o w n e c o n o m i c lot that we can do, and throats, there, is riot fljat in ..ase, since the e v e n t u a l liberation •if the S o u t h A f r i c a n '.blacks will p r o b a b l y come a b o u t " t h r o u g h their o w n ' e f f o r t s , why worry. ."The, p r o b l e m might possibly be t a c k l e d by c ^ n ' s l W r t n g t K e q u e s t i b ' n of w h e t f i e f i t is obvious that the S A regime really visits s u c h terrible injustices, o n •fte^Bfack p o p u l a t i o n . T o ^..answer this w e n e e d only grant, for the s a k e of | a r g u m e n t , that t l j e ^ A ; g o v e r n m e n t is made u p j #"p^"oplfef"wh'o feel ^Ijp, need- .to. defend their I a n i o n s i n tHe>ppblic' forujfljj .jjv: r e a s o n e d a n d I topical' ; a r g i B B e h t 5 * 4 f i d ^ l f f c r i 6 t ' f h o i given t,o \ a c t i n g a^hitMriryslG-iveft 'theft this isi the case, ( w h y t h e n is i t J: h a t ifi(*he!'ttfce off a l h i b s t c ; . u h i v e r s a l c e n s u r e ( B r i t a i n and the U S A ; \excepted—as their;J4N, yof-flS habits *shpw) Jhat S A ' h a s 'fbfile'ct f p y e x p l a i n jrj i t h e ..public (forum, w h y its is~that the abcVrninatibp of "Race .jBegregatipn-/,(Apartheid), for, 'instance, m u s t C o n t i n u e . A p p r e c i a t e *haf-Tffi#Tffe j r i o ' i s m a t l • 4rtitic(sm,' for c o n s i d e r - r j f o u r , 'interaction I Wjith, | r ^ i e j H f i o i r d e f . t n a f i t s j j a l l j n p t !bie|chapft-j, ' r e q u i r e s "that I ^ r o v i d c P y o u , w i t h reasons (that ai*e npt b e y o n d ; y o u r capability "fq u n d e r s t a n d) fpr f n y actions. vVhen^Aiu i n f o r m mel< that y o u require s u c h reaspriSi .Were^! n b t ' t p p r o v i d e s U c h reasbrisj" it seems evident t h a i w e c o u l d sijrspk^ n o t C o e x i s t P e n d i n g m y p r o d u c t i o n of I n c . rea§,©nsi th"at i f o t i ' r e q u i r e , ; i n t e r a c t i o n b e t w e e n y p u a n d s J s h o t i l B r & g i c a l l y ^ohie to a v

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discredit the n o t i o n (held, it w o u l d s e e m by white 'liberals'), that the liberation of-the b l a c k s will c o m e only t h r o u g h their o w n efforts. T h e w o u n d s o n the m i n d s , souls a n d b o d i e s of B l a c k S o u t h A f r i c a n s were,,—and a r e — n o t self-inflicted. I suggest, that it w o u l d be unrealistic t o suggest that they will be selfhealed. ..'Poetic'—yes, ' r e a l i s t i c ' — n o ! N o t only ought we to help relieve the situation i n w h i c h the B l a c k S o u t h A f r i c a n s find therpselves, but b e c a u s e what is -in qu estion are their rights, particularly their rights as h u m a n beings. I believe that they h a v e a' right to e x p e c t that we shall give t h e m s u c h aid as i s . n e c e s s a r y to ..break their' c h a i n s , a n d to e n d t h e i r , S l a v e r y . F o r , as W a s s e r s t T o m s a y s :

and realise that, in S A is e n t i c e d t p s e t ' J U p in, ' b o r d e r a r a B r , b y t h e c a r r q t t h a f ' t h e y s h a l l be a l t o ^ i d by t h e goyen<jay their w o r k e r s fess than the minimum.suh^(0gnde wage", ahd^t.feait a white m a y bp p r o m p t e d t o a s u p e ^ & i r V ' c a p a c i t y , whilst his o ld j o o f s d o n e by 3 o t ^ ^ ^ k s , s u c h he total wage bill for the^bwSjfeny goes d o w r r ' ( a p r o c e s s k n o w n as "j6OTfllt||on") a n d that: the r a t i o of the average white/blaQk wage is 20:1,,. w e , ; b e g i o t o see s o m e r e a s o n for our p o s t p o T i e ^ ^ ^ f e t i o n . A s R a l p h HprOtritz says in " T h e P p ^ i i c a i | ' E c o n o m y of SA>"*

" T o o b s e r v e ' W h a t happens to any p e r s o n w h o is r e q u i r e d to adopt habits of o b s e q u i o u s behaviour....in o r d e r to minimise the l i k e l i h o o d of i p h y s i c a l a b u s e , a r b i t r a r y t r e a t m e n t , o r e c o n o m i c destitution i s t o see m o s t graphically h o w i m p o r t a n t h u m a n rights are a n d w h a t " their denial can mean. To witness what h a p p e n s to any p e r s o n w h o is r e q u i r e d to a d o p t h a b i t s of o b s e q u i o u s b e h a y i o u r . , i { n i o r d e r to m i n i m i s e the . likelihood . o f . p h y s i c a ^ . . a b u s e , a r b i t r a r y . treat.menL'_.6r e c o n o m i c d e s t i t u t i o n is t o , s e e t p o s t g r a p h i c a l l y h o w

•'?The b i g ^ p the e x i s t i n g scale of investment a n d - h e ' f t e a i p c o m m i t m e n t of r e s Q u r o e s , t h e stronger t h V e o m p u l s i g f t to f u r t f e r . ihjvgstment »tp protect .the c o m r p i t m e n t . " T h e i n d i c t m e n t of c o m p l i c i t y , i a ^ ^ ) t n ' g m o s t of the b l a c k p o p u l a t i o n pf S A ^ ^ ^ y : p n d i t i o n d e s c r i b e d . b y | h e ^ r t t e r n a t i p n a L ^ l M ^ | i ^ s i c ) r i of J u r i s t s ,as " a k i o t o s l a y t ; r y | f - , ^ ^ f f l g a r a n d unavoidable^tfor c a t i a n y seriously c b f l i ^ n d t h a t the +300 A m e r i c a n a n d +500 B r i t i s h c o m p a n i e s

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t r y i n g t o c o n v i n c e u s that w e a r e guardians of standstill a n d yetjjinteractioh^ B e t w e e n m a n y (if n d t all) c o u n t p e s ; a n d SA: continues^ J '• O s i m p o r t a n t h u m a n rights ^ a n d , w l ^ ^ , ! ^ ^S&J$&£^ ^ I S ^ S M I I T " ' countenjtfd/ ? r i f j ^ | ^ ^ « ( m e j n s |>ecoridly', a i " r e g a r d s W e s t e r n nations i n " denial c a n m e a n . T o witness what happens f.. a person's o w nattitude aspirations a n d b e h a v i n g as they d o iff S A , as n o U n i o n n o pafticularj # ^ s h o i i i o r b e realised that if is not ; .J-plltician^.wp^iW f^^nex^^^m^J^f c o n c e p t i o n s of himself w h e n h e roust request orily in t h o s e c o u n t r i e s o p p r e s s e d by the or petition f o r the o p p o r t u n i t y tp voice a n » 9^.M"*fts™ " n ^ ^ n c e d ^ H h e steengffi S o v i e t s t h a t - a r g u m e n t s c o u c h e d in t e r m s of o p i n i o n , t o consult w i t h a public official' o r ' t o " " d f " t f » e 'Wfctfri^rit t h ^ i , S i t ' E m t e t O B d e r t the|FriglTt5~^ to j B O B d ^ m f ^ J h ^ o p j w ^ g p f s . T^fUu§tf-ate<jthjs £ } j s e c u r e the p r o t e c t i o n of t h e ' l a w , ' i s to be given ' heimersWdras fftrbm n5Srtp^rtrf dramatic and convincing assurance f o r t h e negp*iated*«/ith t h # t * f i a h ' BMnk s h | l l . j ^ t e. jilperall-^. (rgm., R i / ^ a r d W a.-.o e r . m o r a l r i e c e s s i t y of la cdridfeption • b f ' h u m a n ' - ' ' b f e ^ ^ l a n d ^ r r n i g l W ?MMm&'tfaw W « A • t t p i U L , p a p e r , X^Rigf^ts^ H u m a n " , f t g b f s . . . a n ^ rights." ' - ' ' M < ^ - ^ Retiiaffiiscrim^^ 1

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Come and support this yeart IMPERIAL COLLEGE

RAG *'

FETE

"A '

on the QUEEN'S

((mZfr^^l

LAWN

at 2pm, Saturday 15th May all afternoon. *Grand raffle. *S tails & Sideshows. • G o to the top of Queen's Tower.

• B a r open

this year collecting for:

THE NATIONAL DEAF CHILDREN'S SOCIETY Sponsors include: B H S , C B S , The Chelsea Pot Restaurant, 356 Kings Road, Fuller's Brewery, The Gondoliere Restaurant, 3 Gloucester Road, IC Bookshop (open at the fete), Marks and Spencers Ltd, National Westminster Bank, The Norfolk Hotel, Harrington Road, Odeon Cinema, Kensington High Street, Piccola Venezia Restaurant, Thurloe Place, Pizza Express, Polydor and Waitrose.

IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION, PRINCE CONSORT ROAD, LONDON SW7 FELIX, May 14, 1982


We're sure that over the past few years you've found it convenient having your bank nearby. It meant you c o u l d call i n and talk about problems rather than write. It also meant you were never far from some helpful advice and services. For these same reasons it makes sense to move your account w h e n you move. W e ' l l make it very easy. A l l you have to do is send us the coupon below and tell us w h i c h is the most convenient Barclays branch for your new address. (If you're not sure where you're m o v i n g to, just hang o n tojJhis form until you are.) T h e n w n e n the time comes, we'll make sure your new branch is expecting you and has your account all ready for you. W e ' l l also arrange for you to receive a new Barclaybank card w i t h the appropriate c o d i n g for your new branch. A l l you have to do is make sure you hand i n your present card before you leave. O n e of the advantages you've enjoyed as a

student has been free banking. A n d that needn't change w h e n you move either. i f you keep a m i n i m u m of ,ÂŁ50 i n your account your cheques, statements and standing orders won't cost you a penny. As a graduate, though, there are several new advantages to b a n k i n g at Barclays. There's our special Graduate L o a n Scheme to help you finance the time between college and your first pay cheque. A n d w h e n you have more money c o m i n g in it might be a g o o d time to th ink about opening a Bonus Savings A c c o u n t . T h i s gives you extra interest if you save regularly. For full information o n all the ways we can help w h e n you graduate, w h y not call i n and see your Student Business Officer now. For full written details o f our credit terms, write to: M i k e Folly, Barclays B a n k P L C , 6th Floor, J u x o n H o u s e , 94 St. Paul's Churchyard, L o n d o n E C 4 M 8 E H .

TO: BARCLAYS B A N K PLC

"Please advise Barclaycard o f m y / o u r new address. M y / O u r card number(s) is/are:

Present B r a n c h Address: M y / O u r N e w Address: Please transfer m y / o u r account(s) o n : (date)

Hl.Ot k< API

Name(s):

together w i t h any securities, boxes and parcels, authorities and bankers orders w h i c h you h o l d o n m y / o u r behalf to: N e w B r a n c h Address:

Account Number: Signature(s):

I enclose m y Barclaybank card. Q NOT!:: Any unused cheejut's drown on the branch trom which the returned, preferably in person, to the office on which they arc draw branch. I Inused personalised credit slips should be destroyed and ;i fresh supply obtained from the new branch. Js^i

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1982

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Photosoc V ^ h < p e ^ y - a n n o u n c e a great event!-We have bought two S T O P C L O C K S , so y o u won't need to use the " e l e p h a n t s " m e t h o d a n y m o r e . W e have also got a new c o m m i t t e e a n d we are going to decorate the d a r k r o o m s . T h e U n i o n - i s pr o v i di n g the paint and we are going to splat it about. Y o u can all c o m e a n d join in if y o u waftt (especially if y o u have never b | | i l M o a c h i m p s tea party? before). W e : will be doing it o n Saturday a n d S u n d a y , J u n e 13 a n d 14, so please r e m o v e all y o u r c ^ m i c a l s . a n d . appliances f r o m bbth d a r k r o o m s before then s o i h e y , d o n ' t get spots of paint o n tBJajfflf y o u .will be unable to do so, write to T e r r y J u d d ( C i v E n g 2) iu$t to give h i m something, to do. ?

this will be w r i t t e n about at greater if^figth s o o n . H o w e v e r , in brief, ptiarly. one thousand contacts i s f f r e m a d e over a week's operatting time, stations were w o r k e d in e v e r y c o n t i n e n t . W e have already r e c e i v e d over a h u n d r e d signal reports from various stations a r o u n d the w o r l d a n d hopefully we will eventually get c o n f i r m a t i o n of nearly all the c o n t a c t s . S o m e of the m e m b e r s are already talking about a n e x p e d i t i o n this s u m m e r , suggestions o n where to go will be appreciated! I h o p e y o u have all m a n a g e d to find b u r new s h a c k , if not it's in the o l d I C C A G R o o m at the t o p of the U p i o n B u i l d i n g , just l o o k for the d o o r with the R a d i o S o c i e t y posters a n d you're there!

Community

KG

Wells

T h o s e of y o u w h o missedJDr P a s k ' s lecture 6 n C y b e r n e t i c s m i s s e d a real experience. I d o n ' t think' D r P a s k w o u l d m i n d m e d ^ s ^ b i t ^ . H H P a f ' S I m i x t u r e of W i l l i a m H a r t n e l l , P a t r i c k TrjOughton a n d T o m B a k e r . H e w a s a typical eccentric professor c o m p l e t e w i t h c a p e ' p i B e arid s h o c k of white u n t i d y hair. .,: ./> ' % H i s lecture c o n s i s t e d of a d a z z l i n g c o a l e s c e n c e o f ^ h i l o s o p h y , logic, psychology, q u a n t u m m e c h a n i c s a n d information, theory into t h e s c i e n ^ e of cybernetics. T h e talk w3s deiiveredrjn sa'very e d i t i n g a n d e x t r e m e style. W e certainly are h a v i n g , h i m ; b a c k a g a i n arid when^.we ;do' ;I r e c o m m e n d seeinguhjgn. It's a r e a l t r i p o xrilzi ... qoi srH M i The. lecture was .followed! u p by.the^Annt^lJfVlellScrC ' A r m W r e s t l i n g . C h a m p i o n s h i p s which' t o o k ' p l a c e . this y e a t v i n the:Southside :Batfc..The Victor e m e r g e d as M a r g u e r i t e ( B o n d , o u r ; :Externaj ^^cr^tary.. Extejttsil S e c r e t a r i e s seem to have a monopoly^"dn;thi§;e;vent,sinee it was Wpn.ija^t year by 'mighty' M i s s D z i w i o r , a f o r m e r : S e c r e t a t y S h e d i d not enter tj^s year since she is said to be saving h e r s e l f for the G l i d i n g i C l ^ j ? p w e r • lifting c h a m p i o n s h i p s : .• ., *, i . j - ... ?

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Is Britain a free c o u n t r y ? •„• •• . p e r h a p s it will c o m e a s a-shor k W e are pleased to a n n o u n c e . t h e to discover that in reality. Brjljjsh complete of ,;t;he link to B e r n a r d T h i n g s are 4 n full swing again. citizens are o p p r e s s e d ,ip,' t ^ t y ^ | S u n l e y H o u s e . : N o w " even m o r e P e o p l e n e e d e d to help at A c t o n that w o u l d be c o n s i d e r e d Unacc« p p e o p l e have the q u e s t i o n a b l e Y o u t h G l u b for able and handistable i n o t h e r W e s t e r n d e n j o pleasure of being able to listen se of y o u that have e n t e r e d for c a p p e d c h i l d r e n every S a t u r d a y . cracies. ; .pM in...Unfortunately B r i t i s h T e l e c o m S o u p r u n s as usual T u e s d a y a n d R A E s h o u l d of r e c e i v e d y o u r still seem to be unabje to get the S o m e o n e w h o is well qualified e x a m i n a t i o n n u m b e r t h r o u g h the Friday 10;30pm F a l m o u t h Kitline to M i n i n g H o u s e ^working, to speak about this topic is Hariett i f l ^ n a i f .mail.by the time y q u r e a d chens, j h o w e v e r threatening phone calls H a r m a n , L e g a l O f f i c e r of rr \ this. T h e e x a m i n a t i o n will t a k e C o m e £nd huy o u r hot dogs at are p l a h n e d . t o p e r s u a d e t h e m to N a t i o n a l C o u n c i l for C i v i l Hl^prplace i r r R o o m £07B E l e c E n g at the R a g Fete t o m o r r o w ! get a m o v e o n . (British T e l e c o m ties. S h e has firsthand experierice 6:15pm (6:30pm start) o n M a y 17. C o m e to b y r A G M o n M o n d a y still suffer f r o m p h o n e , b r e a k of defending t h e / r i g h t s ' o f * ^ p v i Please b r i n g a H B p e n c i l , a r u b b e r w h e r e n e x t ; y e a r ' s c o m m i t t e e will d o w n s just as their s u b s c r i b e r s duals in test cases brought, by the a n d a p e n c i l sharpener with' y o u . be elected. T h e m e e t i n g will be at do). F o r y o u r further l i s t e n i n g N C C L . Recently -.he.hexs^lt .was 5:30pm in the Rag Office top of the O u r e x p e d i t i o n to A n d o r r a was pleasure, IC Radio Technical c o n v i c t e d of c o n t e m p t o f eqiirfifor U n i o n . Everyone i s w e l c o m e . e x t r e m e l y s u c c e s s f u l ; hopefully Enterprises Inc is also p l e a s e d to passing information th'a,t h a d b;een a n n o u n c e t h e i n s t a l l a t i o n of a r e v e a l e d i n o p e n c o u r t to a l o u d s p e a k e r in the U n i o n L o w e r rtfistrn »sri D S i q r n o i j o u r n a l i s t . H e r c o n v i c t i o n Was • ••>?; ssri rfoiriw Kilft H d:?| L o u n g e . B e sure to ask the B a r u p h e l d b y the H o u s e of L o r d s a"nd ni M M f c u M n o s w o t S t a f f t o t u r n u p t h e v o l u m e . is n o w to be corvsidered -by "the E u r o p e a n C o m m i s s i o n of H u m a n u o i p W9ft sAvtd srts F o r t h c o m i n g p r o g r a m m e attractions include': various a n d diverse Rights. Cupboards and Noticeboards " r o c k star i n t e r v i e w s " , not ' E v e r y o n e is w e l c o m e 'tis c o m e If y o u r c l u b needs c u p b o a r d space, leave me a note saying w h o y o u are, forgetting the fabulous F a l k l a n d along a n d hear Han'ett Harman"iSr!S how: m u c h s p a c e y o u w o u l d like a n d w h e r e . If y o u have been given a Islands S p e c i a l , with e x t r a a d d e d T u e s d a y , M a y ' 18 a t ' L O O p m i n I W e c u p b o a r d this year, please let me k n o w as I a m having trouble tracing the b a d taste T r a n s m i s s i o n ends. Union Upper Lounge -3811 whereabouts of the c u p b o a r d s bought by B a r n e y . •Fill'in a f o r m if y o u still require a n p t i c e b o a r d a n d I will sort t h e m out bros) e w W T6i2 " j l o o f > b o 8 a t i A h i c r w y r t S s i f t (bs-mifi mm ? i s W towards,,*^ e n d q f term: -

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I a m c o n t e m p l a t i n g hiring a s k i p for a day to get rid of r u b b i s h not re*t©ved b y the' d u s t b i n m e n . If y o u have any large obstinate article of r u b b i s h .^preferably: inanimate^ V>d be fascinated to k n o w about t h e m . A s the s u n sinfis slowly over the dying e m b e r s ,of another year, ThougHfs t u r n t o s u n d r e n c h e d beaches, hearts y e a r n for languid days of leisure, Pinbatts and Videos * V i torid nights of pleasure a n d maybe e v e n the w e l c o m i n g b o s o m ' b f b j f f i s I ^ t o S ' i n t e r e s t e d in any feedback about the m a c h i n e s , especially small family. S o d that for a game of soldiers! A s ever, t h e w o r l d contains\f$me faults s u c h as s ti c ky flipptes arid suggestions of machines y o u ' d like to masochistic souls w h o o n c o m p l e t i o n p f t h ? ^ e a r ' s , s t u d ' . will p r o m b t l y ha'vS'in t h e E o w e r ' L o i l n g § ; *->•'•• t • immerse themselves in fevered preparations for..a..'summer of B l o o d , T&bnu lOuo i l s n n u t pJiaiiSab M< od b s d a i s s e s i I sweat a n d tears. O K I'll admit to a smidgeon of h y p e r b b l e . T h e t r u W f e . . . . . ] ! -f M*e ;,,.... V^eJI.J.hqpe ^ h o e y e r ' s got i t . h a s managed, to get it w o r k i n g again. that D r a m s o c are going to the, E d i n b u r g h F r i n g e again. W e h o p e to ' s p i r a l t w o w e e k s (from A u g u s t ,23) p e f o r m i n § ( 2 plays^ 1 revue) a n d gene?afiy a b s o r b i n g the a t m o s p h e r e of. the • largest festival of fringe theatre '!!! E u r o p e / W h i l s t not the m o s t : idyllic of possible holidays it has a IdJ'Sb s d t ni 38 o l anoitoubsb sidistMiq A | W -ig.iispof offer. F o r a start E d i n b u r g h is a lovely city, also there will be a lot g o j r i g o n ftworoJ-llsw w o n arit Dnhsbisni .869TH V>'1£' whilst we are there. A f t e r (or. before) our daily p e r f o r m a n c e we h o p e ftfjf'11 Vjd iliud i^Isn b cftiad el9n-rut! s k t o 0 3 0 'our time with s u c h delight^'as:' attending other fringe g r o u p s prpdurfnops srit , o i b»J bnc, jriwrtr (the r e c o r d is w a t c h i n g 25,different p e r f o r m a n c e s in 1 day); going, tcffffe b i t s tuotin /ten si i s f l jazz festival; the M i l i t a r y , T a t t o o or the official festival; "eating; sleeping; 9rit vldie.? J .rioiessvi H e l l o . T h e new c o m m i t t e e are: w a t c h i n g street theatre; just massing a r o u n d ; or drinking, (bars are .orJeji ns rtjiw C h a i r m a n M a r k Jeffcock Physics , , '. .y from 11:00 to„2:00am; get t h e , i d e a . aniemgt n 7 TO. M i o w t e n b 3; Secretary. K e r i M a n n P h y s i c s 3; i M .ralduq »tn*mxi3obraJ T h e point of this article is t h a t we c a p take more, people than ha.ye^o T r e a s u r e r T i m F e r n M a t h s 3; i s a d t x a n aril jod (sgsct 8S) l l s f t P u b l i c i t y OfficerKGuy R i d d i h o u g h far " v o l u n t e e r e d " . W e c a n use r n p r e a c t o r s , ' c r e w , m a k e - u p a r p s t s , e t c ; . . . , Life S c i 2; L i b r a r i a n B r i a n H a u n or if y o u can't m a k e the festivaLhelp o n writing the r e v u e . W e are m e ^ g g T»taiiightj:rRSM>,:Parity,: U n i o n ton. : M a t h s , 3 ; Projectionist P a u l o n S u n d a y s in the U p p e r L o u n g e at 2:00pm, t h o u c anyone; to rehearse until after, e x a m s a r e c o m p l e t e d , Concert tHakSoBjOOjinxsitflU Two •, t G r i f f i n P h y s i c s ; S c a p e g o a t K please contact " E r i c " J a r v i s , I C D S E d i n b u r g h T o u r , , b a n d s disco, a n d late bar, , ,Fear,n|ey. Y e a r s given are 'will be if he c / o D r a m s o c I C U n i o n , . jp|,_ 28^4y^89C)8, ,or come, to .our ' . y ^ f l ^ , | ! j ^ / ziT6m6rudw: .RagJpt&CioHelp,: r e h e a r s a l / c a st meeting o n S u n d a y , 2:00pm, in the Upper., L o u n g e , , ^ , required:!'.pleajse!/ C o p t a q t ,J^jge,;; , passes his e x a m s ' years. W h a t ever h a p p e n e d to the S F S o c W e need to have a full list,of those..going, by S u n d a y a f t e f n o p t j l ' i n M a r k or! J o h n or m e e t i i n . U E J o n , order to b o o k a c c o m m o d a t i o n , , so y o u h a v e t w o d a y s t q tj^M^b^uFit. Office l i l S p r o : . a r b l i n s t i ! o h s i o e s . girls? Ex-Svjordmistress of Chaos P l e a s e d o , w e ' d like y o u to c o m e along. " * ' Borta-roM Z' e s

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The most surprising release of the week must be the double bill of Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back, not least because they are the top two selling films of all time. The lack of publicity for this event is thus understandable—who needs to "sell" films which have already been seen and enjoyed by millions? Way back in May 1977 when Star W a r s was released in A m e r i c a , nobody expected the overwhelming response which occurred. A t first things were slow, then word of mouth resulted in massive queues and Star Wars mania had struck.

Our herogs on the bridge of the Millenium

But the most important breakthrough was certainly not the characterisation. The most amazing step forward was undoubtably the extensive use of ingenious special effects. By now you're probably groaning at the mention of the words "special effects" as the horde of imitators that Star Wars prompted has meant that you can hardly watch a film which hasn't got lasers or enhanced glows somewhere in it. But this is where Star Wars broke new ground An imperial stormtrooper. and is where the appeal of the film lies. The convincing space scenes, tumbling spacecraft, The success of the film was probably a well designed ships and costumes together greater shock to 20th Century Fox; the film cost $10m a n d has grossed a staggering' with excellent sound effects results in a "look" $185m. The 'sequel' it spawned (which writer which initially overcomes any shortcomings in the plot or acting. Without this customised George Lucas had planned well before Star Wars was filmed) The Empire Strikes Back "look" Star Wars (and certainly Empire) would be nothing more than a shoddy space western. scaled new heights in movie technology and Anyway, in terms of enjoyment, both films turned out to be an effects epic (which was score very highly and I'll be first in the queue to equally enjoyable) and grossed $135m on an see them again for the umpteenth time on the investment of $22m. It is not surprising, big screen, where both should be seen. O h therefore, that the third film in the series Revenge of the Jedi (which will cost $32.5m)! yes, I didn't mention that Star Wars has been sold to ITV for about $5m and should be seen has already started filming and will be released, in May 1983. I at Christmas. Mark Smith Well, figures apart, what else is impressive; about these giants of the screen? The stories are undeniably simple; in Star Wars a young farmboy (Luke Skywalker) is lured away from his home by the promise of adventure and in Empire his fight against evil begins in earnest. Both, however, are filled out with a selection of unusual characters and machines which just about manage to raise them above the average space soap opera. Although George Lucas chose unknowns for the main roles in Star Wars, he managed to persuade Sir Alec Guiness and Peter Cushing to take roles, which undoubtably raised the general standard of acting. They were also a reasonably good bet to ensure moderate box office s u c c e s s at least. H o w e v e r , these characters were almost totally overshadowed by the two androids R2-D2 and G 3 P O (who provided an absurd comic element) and the magnificent Darth Vader. For me, Vader steals the show time after time—there seems to be something appealing about evil incarnate and his external appearance adds much to that appeal.

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Tunnels Under London by Nigel Pennick. Price £1.20 by post from Electric Traction Publications, 142 Pheasant Rise, Bar Hill, CB3 8SD. (Only available Cambridge direct from publishers.) N i g e l P e n n i c k has w r i t t e n a very well researched book detailing tunnels built under London for underground railways, roads, airraid shelters, telephone networks and nuclear b u n k e r s . A l l the i n f o r m a t i o n has been gathered from public sources and piecemealed together with plausible deductions to fill in the grey areas. Considering the now well-known G P O cable tunnels being clandestinely built by the Government and not admitted to, the subject matter is naturally contentious and difficult to research. London is possibly the only major city in the w o r l d with an underground network of tunnels that remains practically undocumented for the public. M r Pennick's small (28 page) book is the next best thing in the absence of official literature. Written almost in the manner of a scientific paper Tunnels

Under

London

quotes its

sources continuously and distinguishes fact from theories. Consequently, the book is seriously written and is believable. Well worth buying by anyone interested in the tube system, or esoteric literature, or both. S.

Marshall


RUSSIA

mt Hockey

Russia Dies Laughing: Jokes from Soviet Russia, edited by Zhanna Dolgopolova, Andre Deutsch ÂŁ4.95 (hardback). J o k e b o o k s are usually pitiful r u b b i s h a n d this one is about as entertaining as most. B u t b e c a u s e of its t h e m e it's o n a different level f r o m most joke b o o k s , or rather it's o n two levels at o n c e . T h e b o o k ' s designed to sell to the semi-intellectual anti-Soviet m a r k e t (the s o r t of p e o p l e w h o a r e u p s e t if y o u c a l l S o l z h e n i t s y n boring) as well as t o the simplem i n d e d (the s o r t of people w h o avidly r e a d Irish j o k e b o o k s a n d the like). A p a r t from its political c h a r a c t e r the b o o k is m u c h the same as a n y o t h e r j o k e b o o k , w i t h a s m a l l p r o p o r t i o n of g o o d j o k e s filled out with trashy j o k e s , large classification headings a n d plenty of b l a n k s p a c e . T h e r e a r e r e l a t i v e l y f e w r e p r i n t e d j o k e s , I o n ly f o u n d nine. Illustrations by J a k a c c o m p a n y about every t e n t h j o k e . O f the t w o h u n d r e d or so j o k e s about fifteen or twenty are actually funny and perhaps a h u n d r e d are mildly a m u s i n g . A b o u t a q u a r t e r of the j o k e s have little or no c o n n e c t i o n with the U S S R . A p a r t f r o m the anti-Soviet j o k e s there are j o k e s about student life, war, s e x , m e d i c i n e , families, J e w s a n d anti-Semites (a s e c t i o n of anti-Semitic jokes is followed by s o m e J e w i s h anti-anti S e m i t i c j o k e s as t h o u g h to m a k e up for it). T h e r e are two antiA m e r i c a n j o k e s (one of t h e m quite good). T h i s is one of the better jokes: B r e z h n e v was being c o n d u c t e d a r o u n d hell. " W e l l , " the d e m o n s say to h i m , " c h o o s e yourself a t o r m e n t . " T h e y pass sinners sizzling in giant frying pans. " W h a t about that o n e ? " ask the d e m o n s . " N - n n o . . . " says B r e z h n e v , t r e m b l i n g . " N o t that o n e . " T h e y go o n a n d see sinners being beaten with b u r n i n g b r a n d s . " W h a t about t h a t ? " ask the d e m o n s . " N - n - n o . . . " says B r e z h n e v , t r e m b l i n g . " N o t t h a t . " T h e y go further a n d s u d d e n l y they see K r u s h c h e v in b e d with Brigitte B a r d o t . " T h a t ' s the one I w a n t , " cries B r e z h n e v . " H a ha h a ! " laugh the d e m o n s . " T h a t ' s Brigitte B a r d o t ' s torment."

" I say C a r r u t h e r s , dashed g o o d wheeze of yours, c o m i n g to see this m a t c h . " " C h u t e , d a m n e d e x c i t i n g stuff, Presidents X I getting a good pastin', Coatesworth s h o w i n g off as u s u a l . R e m i n d s me of t h a t never to be forgotten g a m e i n er " " A h yes, w e l l I r e m e m b e r the 1946 I n d i a n t o u r , i n the t h i r d test they missed almost as m a n y chances as y o u n g G a r m s i n the first half today." " I must a d m i t , we must be g e t t i n g a bi t desperate w h e n we have to rely o n G e o f f A y e r s to p u t the b a l l u n d e r the b a r for o n c e ! " " S p l e n d i d stuff, I t h i n k fitness is b e g i n n i n g to t e l l , j u d g i n g by the w a y R o g e r D a v e y is turning blue!" " O n e a l l at h a l f - t i m e , I h a v e n ' t k n o w n s u c h e x c i t e m e n t since B r a d m a n ' s 100th test." " W a k e up H e n r y , they're starting again. I do believe G a r m s has s c o r e d . " " D o n ' t be r i d i c u l o u s , no I C centre f o r w a r d has scored since that n e v e r to be forgotten g o a l by e r . . . . " " W e l l d a s h it a l l , he's d o n e it a g a i n a n d B e l l ' s a d d e d a n o t h e r ! S p l e n d i d goals, w e l l p l a y e d y o u chaps! I say H e n r y do w a k e u p , I t h i n k P h i l W e b b c o u l d do w i t h b o r r o w i n g your wheelchair." " Y e s , H m , I see w h a t y o u m e a n , r a t h e r w o b b l y o n the o l d pins w h a t ! ? " " A h a , there goes the f i n a l w h i s t l e , u p to the b a r H e n r y , m i n e ' s a d o u b l e s c o t c h . " " I h a v e n ' t h e a r d a w h i s t l e like that since the 1867 S t o c k t o n to D a r l i n g t o n Express. D ' y o u r e m e m b e r S p o f f e r t h ' s 68 not o u t against the A u s t r a l i a n s i n 1902, s p l e n d i d knock T e a m : C. Jones, P. Butler, J. Clarke, A. Stroomer, B. Franklin, C. Riley, S. Parker, G. Ayers, T. Coatesworth, S. Beall, M. Bansal, A. Garms, A. Rao, S. Gray. S p e c i a l t h a n k s to D r D a v e H a r d w i c k for o r g a n i s i n g the g a m e a n d to M r s H a r d w i c k for a n excellent tea afterwards.

train doesn't move. " S h o o t everyone!" o r d e r s Stalin. T h e y s h o o t everyone but the train doesn't budge. Stalin dies. " R e h a b i l i tate e v e r y o n e ! " o r d e r s K r u s h c h e v . T h e y are rehabilitated but still the train won't go. K r u s h c h e v is r e m o v e d . " C l o s e t h e curtains," orders Brezhnev, " a n d pretend we're m o v i n g ! "

A m o r e typical e x a m p l e : H o w d o y o u relate t o the Soviet go ve r nme n t ? L i k e a wife: part habit, part fear, a n d w i s h to G o d I h a d a different one. M a n y of the j o k e s aren't really j o k es at a l l , they're just meant t o m a k e y o u reflect o n Soviet (especially Stalinist) faults. S o m e of t h e m are quite thoughtful, like this one w h i c h is p r o b a b l y m e a n t a s a s o r t of m i n i a t u r e parable of Soviet history: Stalin, K r u s c h c h e v a n d B r e z h n e v are travelling i n a train. T h e train b r e a k s d o w n . " F i x i t ! " o r d e r s S t a l i n . T h e y repair it but the

T h e publication of a n anti-Soviet joke b o o k suggests that things can't really be all that b a d in the U S S R if they're able to m a k e j o k e s about it. (At least this is true of the c o m p i l e r s , identified as " A N , R N a n d K S " , a n a r c h i t e c t, a n artist a n d a w r i t e r , w h o are p r o b a b l y m u c h better off t h a n most people in the U S S R . ) J o k e b o o k s wouldn't be c o m p i l e d by people in constant fear of arrest, a n d the editor says in the i n t r o d u c t i o n that " B r e z h n e v d o e s not yet put people in p r i s o n for telling j o k e s " . (The publishers s e e m to want to give the b o o k a m o r e anti-Soviet slant than it really has; the blurb says that " R u s s i a n s w h o joke...are

FELIX, May 14, 1982

Cricket E v e r y o n e realised t h a t a m i s t a k e h a d b e e n m a d e w h e n o u r b e l o v e d P r e s i d e n t s a i d he w o u l d p l a y w h e n a s k ed at short n o t i c e . T h e rest of the t e a m h a v i n g a s s e m b l e d at 9 : 0 0 a m the s k i p p e r was g i v e n the j o b o f d r a g g i n g M r M o r t o n out of b e d h a l f a n h o u r l a t e r . H a v i n g lost the toss I C w e r e i n s e r t e d . O u r n o w famous o p e n i n g p a r t n e r s h i p , s p u r r e d o n by M r S i m p k i n ' s p a r e n t s (our longest s e r v i n g supporters), gave us a modest start. B y l u n c h we were 76-4 at w h i c h p o i n t the g a m e c o u l d have gone e i t h e r w a y v e r y q u i c k l y . I C p i c k e d u p w i t h scores o f 55 f r o m C l a r k e , 29 f r o m T e a r (no one t h o u g h t he was c a p a b l e ) a n d 2 4 f r o m S i l v a . W e were a l l o u t j u s t after 4 : 0 0 p m for 189. H a v i n g h a d his first t w o b a l l s for four, E a s t l a n d was s p u r r e d o n to p i c k u p a w i c k e t i n the first o v e r of C h u r c h i l l ' s i n n i n g s . I C o n the w h o l e b o w l e d f a i r l y w e l l a n d p i c k e d u p wickets q u i t e r e g u l a r l y i n the e a r l y stages. W e r e it n o t for s l o p p y f i e l d i n g a n d d r o p p e d catches w e w o u l d p r o b a b l y h a v e w o n . T h e result h o w e v e r was a d r a w . R o c k M i n t o n t h e n led the w a y to the b a r i n a n effort to get every pissed. Best p e r f o r m a n c e s were f r o m T e a r (4 c r e a m eggs), S i m p k i n (2 c r e a m eggs a n d c h u n d e r ) a n d H i m m e r s (many chunders). T e a m : While (Capt), Simpkin, Clarke, Eastland, Halai, Morton, Silva, Waller, Tear, Hinmers.

^Badminton T h e r e w i l l be h a n d i c a p b a d m i n t o n t o u r n a ment o n S a t u r d a y , M a y 22 at 10:00am O l d Chemistry Building. Events will include mens a n d ladies singles, mens d o u b l e s a n d i f possible, ladies a n d m i x e d doubles ( n u m b e r s p e r m i t t i n g ) . T h e t o u r n a m e n t w i l l be o p e n t o a l l m e m b e r s of the c l u b a n d a n o m i n a l e n t r y fee w i l l be c h a r g e d to h e l p p a y for shuttles etc. T o enter, sign n a m e o n c l u b n o t i c e b o a r d in the U n i o n o r c o n t a c t C . M a l l a b a n d , C h e m i s t r y 2.

r u n n i n g r i s k s we c o u l d not d r e a m of...") It's h a r d to tell if the j o k e s reflect a n y p o p u l a r discontent in the U S S R . T h e attitude of the c o m p i l e r s s e e m s t o b e s o r t of c y n i c a l a c c e p t a n c e of the Soviet s y s t e m , they r e g a r d it a n d its r u l e r s w i t h s k e p t i c i s m a n d s o m e c o n t e m p t b u t t h e y s e e m t o s e e it a s a n unalterable fact of life. M o c k i n g j o k e s w o u l d n ' t be m a d e by people w h o h a t e d their g o v e r n ment (for e x a m p l e the Iranians w h o h a t e d the S h a h ) . B u t being laughed at is h a r d e r to ignore t h a n being h a t e d , a n d the Soviet authorities w o u l d have to take reprisals o n a Stalinist scale to stop the j o k e s s pr e adi n g . In the W e s t , the publication of this b o o k , feeble t h o u g h m o s t of it is, will certainly have the effect of m a k i n g the public still m o r e s y m p a t h e t i c to Soviet a n d E a s t e r n E u r o p e a n dissidents. T h e dissidents (or at least s o m e of them) are e x p l o i t i n g the faCt that j o k e s are almost irresistable, a highly effective way of getting people o n y o u r side, a fact w h i c h a lot of other political a n d s e m i political m o v e m e n t s have failed to g r a s p . N . Willson

Page 9


Caption Competition Last week's winning caption was "Barney McCabe did it—how about you!" Mr Pallab Ghosh of Physics 2 wins the very appropriate prize of a haircut voucher from Jingles of Gloucester Road. Another voucher will be given to the person who can supply me with the wittiest suggestion for where Mike, the IC Union mascot could be and/or who has stolen it. Entries to the FELIX Office by 1:00pm Wednesday.

Mike-lost? Still no indication of where the IC Union mascot M i k e could have disappeared to. There has been no ransom, no telephone calls or secret notes. It appears that someone may have actually stolen it for good! Next Week Next week's issue will contain the annual reports of the President, Acting D P and Hon Sec for your delight and amusement. Don't miss this thrill-packed issue!

Injury Time this hilarious programme will be recorded in the Concert Hall this Sunday at 7:15pm. Come along to see Grift Rhys Jones et al. Tickets free from the Union Office. Credits A special thank you to Martin S. Taylor and Jane Williams for photographs. Also Paul Bailey and his merry band who are still delivering FELIX on Fridays (you wouldn't get them until midday if you had to rely on me waking up). More thanks to the regular crew: Peter, Pallab, Soheel, Steve, Ramzi, Jez, Nick, all the collators, Maz and Hugh.

What's On Friday, May

14

•Baha'i Soc A G M , 12:30pm, B r o w n C o m m R m . • S o u p Run, 10:30pm, Falmouth Kitchen.

Saturday, May

15

• R a g Fete, 2:00pm, Q u e e n s L a w n . Prizes, fun, bar all afternoon, climb the Queens Tower.

Sunday, May 16 •Theatre workshop a n d cast meeting for Edinburgh Fringe, 2:00pm, U p p e r Lounge. A n y o n e interested will be made welcome.

Monday, Mfxy 17 • C o m m u n i t y Action G r o u p A G M , 5:30pm, Rag Office, top of the Union. • D a n c i n g club advanced class, 7:30pm, J C R .

Tuesday, May 18 •Boardsaiiing Club: A l l coolcats w h o don't mind wet f u r — c o m e to o u r Tuesday meeting if you want to go to Mudside L a k e o n Wednesday or Brighton (Flat calm guaranteed!) at the weekend. • C y c l i n g club pre-Brighton meeting. A n y o n e interested in becoming a member o r even officer of the newest club at IC , welcome, 12:30pm, Southside U p p e r Lounge. • U N S o c A G M , 1:00pm, U n i o n Dining Hall. •Liberal Club A G M , 1:00pm, Senior C o m m R m . • I C C A G Soup Run, 10:30pm, Falmouth Kitchens.

Dissection puzzles. A farmer has a field which he wants to divide into five congruent fields for his five sons etc. etc. etc. I must admit to not liking dissection puzzles very much. They're mostly far too difficult for anyone less patient than Job, and those which aren't tend to require an intuitive leap before the solution suddenly becomes obvious. T h i s w e e k ' s p u z z l e , one of the few dissection puzzles that I find really entertaining, falls into the latter category. Some solvers will make the logical jump very easily, and will find the puzzle on the easy side; others, I promise, will not!

Wednesday, May

19

• D a n c i n g club intermediate class, 7:30pm, J C R .

Thursday, May

20

• T u r n It O n Again (first of three programmes), 1:00 and 6:00pm, J C R , Southside T V Lounge, Beit, Linstead, W e e k s and G a r d e n Halls. A browse through the S T O l C a r c h i v e s , featuring material r e c o r d e d o v e r the last academic year.

INJURY

TIME

A Radio 4 revue with

Last Week's Solution 20 p a d l o c k s are n e e d e d . F o r any three members of the Exec, there is at least one key they lack; and since everyone else has that missing key, every subset of three Exec members is associated with a different key which thev don't have. So there are at least C keys, i.e. 20 padlocks are necessary. But 20 locks are also sufficient. Take each subset of three Exec members in turn, and 'give everyone except them the key to one of the locks. This satisfies the conditins of the puzzle and needs 20 locks. Ken Morison, Chem Eng P G , was the only one to get it right, but honorable mentin goes to Gary Smith who descibed a method of locking Mike in a box so that four people are needed to open it. His method uses fourteen padlocks, but since it needs a box as well I felt Ken Morison's solution rather more sound. 6

The first diagram shows how a square with the corner removed can be dissected into five congruent shapes. If the cornerless square is halved along a diagonal, the resulting shape can also be divided into five congruent pieces, as shown in the second diagram. The third diagram does the same feat on an equilateral triangle with the corner missing. This week's puzzle is to dissect an unmutilated square into five congruent shapes. There is a unique solution.

3

Robert Bathurst, Jimmy Mulville, Rory McGrath, Emma Thompson and Griff Rhys Jones will be recorded on S u n d a y , M a y 16 at 7:15pm in the U n i o n C o n c e r t H a l l Tickets available from Union Office.

H A L D A N E LIBRARY sale of ex-library books begins Monday 9:30 to 5:30 To run to the end of term with new books added every week!

Southside Shop: At last what you've all been waiting for—IC sweatshirts and T-shirts. We now have a large stock of colours and sizes. Prices: Sweatshirts £6; T-shirts £2.50. Don't miss the sportswear sale with reductions on all racquets and training shoes plus many miscellaneous items.

Beer and Bangers Lady Flowers and the IC Wives C l u b invite you to Beer and Bangers at 170 Queensgate, W e d May 26. Names to Jen in the Union Office by 5pm, Friday May 21.

Solutions, comments, criticisms to me at the FELIX Office, please. £5 (donated by the evergenerous Mend-a-Bike) for the correct solution randomly selected at 1:00pm next Wednesday.

FELIX is published by the Editor for and on behalf of the Imperial College Union Publications Board, and is printed by the Union Print Unit, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB (589-5111 ext 1048 int 2881) Copyright

FELIX

1982. Editor: M A Smith, Advertising

Manager:

S M Gibtin.


http://www.felixonline.co.uk/archive/IC_1982/1982_0614_A