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Founded in 1949

The Newspaper of Imperial College Union

RAPE IN SOUTHSIDE! This could be next week's headline

Riff-raff

at

STOIC

The security of the Southside Halls of Residence has still not been adequately improved following the rape which occurred there over one and a half years ago and numerous thefts. A new system of electronic locks has not yet been installed, despite indications from the Estates section that they would do so over the Christmas vacation. F o l l o w i n g a rape in the basement of Southside i n M a y 1980 it was decided that access to the halls was too easy a n d that a n e w system o f locks s h o u l d be i n s t a l l e d . T h e m a i n p r o b l e m was lire doors w o u l d have to be l o c k e d , so a n e l e c t r o n i c system was necessary w i t h locks l i n k e d to the fire a l a r m system w h i c h w o u l d a u t o m a t i c a l l y o p e n if a fire broke out. A system was suggested a n d a q u o t a t i o n o b t a i n e d . T h i s p r o v e d " t o o e x p e n s i v e " a n d was shelved w h e n m a j o r s t r u c t u r a l changes were p r o posed to c o m b a t the same p r o b l e m . A less expensive system was investigated last year w h i c h , at a cost o f approximately/'3,500 , w o u l d adequately d o t h e j o b . T h e C h i e f Security O f f i c e r , M r Reeves, per s u aded Estates that this system w o u l d be needed if the s t r u c t u r a l changes went ahead or not.

Union

Pressure

Last t e r m the Union Pr es iden t. M r N i c k M o r t o n , a n d W e l f a r e O f f i c e r . M r N i c k P y n e , pressed Estates for a n i n s t a l l a t i o n date o n Student R e s i d e n c e C o m m i t t e e . T h e i n d i c a t i o n was c l e a r l y g i v e n that this w o u l d be d o n e o v e r the C h r i s t m a s v a c a t i o n , but it was not. M r D o n C l a r k e , Estates Secretary, t o l d F E L I X that he d i d not know w h y the system h a d not been installed. " M o s t o f m y people are out t o d a y , " he s a i d , " t h e r a i l strike, y o u k n o w . " T h e reason for the delay is still not clear at the time o f g o i n g to press.

QEC

Merger

Off! The proposed merger between Imperial College Elizabeth College has been shelved for the time Richard O'Brien who wrote the music, screenplay and in The Rocky Horror Picture Show and the recently Shock Treatment was interviewed by STOIC in the TV Studio on Wednesday, January 13.

starred released College

In Shock Treatment, Richard plays the evil Cosmo McKinley (pictured above). For full review see back page. The interview will be broadcast by STOIC on Tuesday at 1:00pm and 6:00pm.

No. 602

and being.

Queen

A t the e n d of last t e r m the draft proposal h o r n L o r d F l o w e r s a n d D r Barnes ( P r i n c i p a l of Q E C ) was a m e n d e d by I C ' s B o a r d ol Studies. T h i s a m e n d e d draft proposal was s u b m i t t e d to the G o v e r n i n g B o d y a n d passed. A l t e r such changes it was not s u r p r i s i n g that the new proposals p r o v e d u n a c c e p t a b l e to the A c a d e m i c B o a r d a n d C o l l e g e C o u n c i l of QEC. T h e R e c t o r , L o r d F l o w e r s, t o l d F E L I X that as far as h e was c o n c e r n e d " t h e d o o r is still o p e n " a n d that negotiations c o u l d still c o n t i n u e . It seems, however, that it is u p to Q E C to r e - a p p r o a c h I C .

F r i d a y J a n u a r y 22,1982

Free!


it has been out of action since the summer. T h e damage was caused by tenants to w h o m the rooms were let over the summer. Besides b r e a k i n g the w a s h i n g m a c h i n e a n d the d r i e r they also stole the i r o n for good measure. A n d r e w L y a l l has the nerve to suggest that we apologise for d a m a g e caused by Weeks h a l l residents. I suggest that he apologise to the residents of G a r d e n H a l l for the damage he has i n f l i c t e d u p o n o u r characters by d e p i c t i n g us as n o t h i n g more t h a n vandals and c r i m i n a l s . J ours oppressed

Duncan Reid

Dear

Sir

A n d r e w L y a l l ' s reply to m y letter was the p r e d i c t a b l e outburst of feigned hurt that I expected. H i s allegations are n o t h i n g short of slanderous and are no doubt the release for the e m o t i o n a l s t r a i n imposed u p o n one w h o has l i v e d i n a b u i l d i n g that is c o l l a p s i n g a r o u n d his ears for five years. N o t surprisingly he makes us s c a p e g o a t s f o r t h e i n competence of Weeks H a l l residents a n d lays the ills of t h e w o r l d at t h e d o o r s o f Garden H a l l . H e complained that m y letter was not based o n facts a n d then proceeds to make w i l d a n d unsubstantial allegations himself. It is m o r e t h a n likely that a Weeks H a l l resident put w a s h i n g p o w d e r into the drying machine. This would in turn explain M r A l l Ly's observation that d a m p washi n g was removed from the d r i e r , as the average Weeks H a l l resident cannot distinguish between the washing m a c h i n e a n d t h e d r i e r he p r o b a b l y saw the clothes b e i n g r e m o v e d f r o m the w a s h i n g m a c h i n e a n d mistook it for the d r i e r ! Indeed I myself c a n cite one occasion o n w h i c h I removed a c o m b a t j a c k e t f r o m the drier a n d burnt m y fingers on it because it h a d been left i n for far too l o n g ! T h e state of G a r d e n H a l l ' s l a u n d r y is not the fault of the present residents a n d indeed it c o u l d not possibly be as Page 2

Sir I read i n F E L I X 601 M r T w a d o w s k i ' s letter i n f o r m i n g y o u r readers of m y somewhat unsocial w o r k i n g hours a n d r e m c m l i e r w e l l the incident to w h i c h he refers. O f course I appreciate that a bicycle is the most e c o n o m i cal w a y to travel at 5:00am, a n d also that M r T w a d o w s k i h a d to u n l o c k h i s b i c y c l e before p e d a l l i n g it off into the night, but w i t h a hacksaw? Tour ohedienl

servant

Barney M c C a b e Dear

Sir

* Please c o u l d you i n c l u d e the f o l l o w i n g letter w h i c h is a d d r e s s e d to a l l t u t o r s . Students w i t h tutors w ho do not r e g u l a r l y r e a d y o u r columns could draw their attention to it: To

all

tutors.

E v e r y p o u n d prollt that the I C Bookshop makes goes to the students u n i o n a n d thereby eases the d e m a n d s o n the College's finances. For example, a lecturer w h o recommends a n undergraduate year to b u y a n ' A ' category textbook priced ,£7.50 i n the Bookshop supports the C o l l e g e w i t h a r o u n d £00In these d a y s o f severe f i n a n c i a l d i f f i c u l t i e s it is therelbre of v i t a l i m p o r t a n c e •that everyone w h o w i l l be g i v i n g a lecture course d u r i n g the a c a d e m i c year gives the B o o k s h o p t h e c h a n c e to supply the "recommended" textbooks. T o enable us to do this, it is of the utmost i m p o r t a n c e that

we know what books you w i l l be r e c o m m e n d i n g before the course starts, not as is h a p p e n i n g now, telling us after the course has started. T h i s is not fair to y o u r students or to the Bookshop. W e try very h a r d to s t o c k a l l r e c o m m e n d e d books, but we c a n only do it w i t h y o u r help. Roy Hicks Bookshop M a n a g e r Dear

Mark

I w o u l d like to d r a w a small matter to the attention of the student populace of I C . So here goes D i d y o u k n o w that the U n i o n has b e e n a l l o c a t e d a p p r o x £150 to buy fiction works a n d magazines for the H a l d a n e L i b r a r v ? I repeat, ^750 of Y O U R M O N E Y to buy books for Y O U R p l e a sure a n d perusal. So, if you w a n t to r e a d the latest international bestselling blockbuster or something more literary such as " M y F r i e n d , M r L e a k e y " (Barney M c C a b e ' s favourite) without h a v i n g to shell out for it, then this is what you do. E i t h e r fill i n a request f o r m in the H a l d a n e L i b r a r y or d r o p a note into m y pigeonhole. I a w a i t y o u r requests w i t h interest. Tours

hopefully

A l u n Griffiths Chem Eng 3 Dear

Sir

I ' d l i k e to m a k e a fewobservations about last week's ' S o a p b o x ' article. F r a n k l y , it seems to me that F r a n k J a m e s is c o n t r a d i c t i n g h i m s e l f . H e accuses the Creationists of m e g l o m a n i a (though for the life of me I can't see w h y ! ) a n d of i n tolerance of d e v i a t i o n and p l u r a l i s m of belief; a n d yet, w h i l e he grants the right of free belief to a l l , he strongly o b j e c t s to t h e C r e a t i o n i s t s d a r i n g to state their u n o r t h o dox views. A s to the a b s u r d i t y of such ideas: has it ever occurred to h i m to w o n d e r w h y the b i b l i c a l order of C r e a t i o n (Genesis 1 vs 1-26) is exactly t h e s a m e as t h e o r d e r o f e v o l u t i o n of life that he holds as true? R e m e m b e r i n g that the H e b r e w for ' d a y ' m a y also be translated 'age', a n d that the B i b l e was never w r i t t e n as

FELIX, January

22,

1982

a science textbook, the s i m i larity is really quite r e m a r k able. O f course, if such views are so absurd w h y suppress them, since suppression w i l l only strengthen them. W h y not give the Creationists their say, since surely no-one will believe them. A point w o r t h n o t i n g is tha: D a r w i n is p r o b a b l y n o t r e v o l v i n g i n his pine box. H e was a C h r i s t i a n , a n d said himself that he saw no reason w h v his t h e o r i e s s h o u l d disturb a C h r i s t i a n ' s v i e w point, a n d I agree with h i m . F r a n k J a m e s m a y l i k e to choose to be a n a n i m a l ; but I believe that G o d made me, and that's really something to be p r o u d of. } ours

L. Mercer Dear

Mark

A m a z i n g l y I have just discovered a n a n a g r a m for N i c k M o r t o n that I a m sure n o b o d y else has n o t i c e d : Rec tor ' s doormat. A s y o u c a n clearly see it is only a r o u n d dozen letters out. Tours

Michelle Wright Chem Eng 2 Dear

Sir

T h e W i s d e n - l i k e recall of great I C cricket events by K e n W e a l e ( F E L I X , O c t 23 1981) should be extended in the style of other noteworthy s t a t i s t i c i a n s s u c h as B i l l F r i n d a l l . W e a l e is correct i n stating that D w a r f , G n o m e and S t u m p y C h i m p have scored centuries on the D e v o n tour. But c a n he actually be u n a w a r e that of these elfin batsmen one, G n o m e , perf o r m e d t h e feat t w i c e — i n successive innings? Surely a detail of immense significance. S h o u l d any a s p i r i n g c e n t u r ion believe that the necessary prerequisite is to have acq u i r e d a s i m i l a r l y picturesque a p p e l l a t i o n , he w i l l be discouraged to learn that in a n era even more lost i n the mists of time t h a n that of D w a r f and G n o m e , the magic score w a s a c h i e v e d by s o m e o n e w i t h the lacklustre name of Bland. Wisden' Weale will correct me if I a m w r o n g . Continued on page 4


Nuclear War IC" U n i o n is shortly to m a k e a t e l e v i s i o n p r o g r a m m e for the B B C 2 O p e n D o o r series. F o l l o w ing an unexpected p h o n e c a l l last term. U n i o n President Nick Morion yesterday met the p r o d u c e r l o discuss the m a t t e r . This e n d e d a p e r i o d ol silence on the pari of A u n t i e B e e h ; t w o years have passed since the t h e n H o n Secretary R o g e r Stotesbury s u b m i t t e d the a p p l i c a t i o n . O p e n D o o r w i l l a l l o w students here to m a k e a p r o g r a m m e about virtually anything. A film crew a n d studio facilities are to be used, w i t h the B B C p a y i n g the bill. S e e m i n g l y , neither the content nor the style of the p r o g r a m m e have definitely been d e c i d e d yet. O n l v six weeks between the d a t e of n o t i f i c a t i o n a n d the a c t u a l t r a n s m i s s i o n is g i v e n by O p e n Door. So I C s h o u l d be b r o a d c a s t i n g to the n a t i o n at some time this t e r m .

Media Evening O n M o n d a y evening I C U n i o n P u b l i c a t i o n s B o a r d hosted the Inst ever " M e d i a E v e n i n g " . T h e event, held i n the C o l l e g e T V S t u d i o s , i n c l u d e d dis play s by F E L I X , I t : R a d i o , The P h o e n i x . Alternative Prospectus and S T O I C S M e m b e r s o f the C o l l e g e administrative stall'were invited, including Lord and Lady Flowers. The i n t e n t i o n was to give these people a c h a n c e to meet the students w h o w o r k on the College m e d i a . Ii was generally felt that the e v e n i n g was a great success.

Lectures to cease? There is a possibility that the Tuesday l u n c h t i m e H u m a n i t i e s l e c t u r e p r o g r a m m e w i l l be suspended for the next session. The Humanities Committee has been asked by C o l l e g e to s u b m i t a p l a n for a twenty per cent r e d u c t i o n in e x p e n d i t u r e o v e r a three year p e r i o d . T h e p l a n includes suspension of the T u e s d a y l u n c h t i m e lectures a n d a r e d u c t i o n in language classes. H o w e v e r , I he plans have not yet been i m p l e m e n t e d a n d m a y be a v o i d e d , if possible.

Reactor

Beginning at the END Last Tuesday lunchtime, a crowd of about 200 gathered to hear Professor Robert Neild, Prof of Economics, Cambridge University give the first of a series of lunchtime lectures under the title 'Nuclear War in Europe'. P r o f N e i l d began by r e c a l l i n g the recent rise o f interest in n u c l e a r d i s a r m a m e n t due lo the n o n - r a t i f i c a t i o n of S A L T 2 , the p l a n n e d i n s t a l l a t i o n o f C r u i s e missiles i n E u r o p e , the S o v i e t i n v a s i o n o f A f g h a n i s t a n , a n d the election of Pr es ident R e a g a n . W h e n N A T O was o r i g i n a l l y f o r m e d i n 1949 there was a b i g i m b a l a n c e i n c o n v e n t i o n a l forces between the still h e a v i l y a r m e d Soviet U n i o n a n d the e c o n o m i c a l l y weak W e s t e r n E u r o p e a n states, the idea b e i n g that A m e r i c a n n u c l e a r forces w o u l d compensate l o r this w i t h massive ' r e t a l i a t i o n ' i n the event o f R u s s i a n i n v a s i o n o f W e s t e r n E u r o p e . S i n c e t h e n , the U n i t e d States has lost its n u c l e a r d o m i n a n c e , ' a n d s m a l l e r , t a c t i c a l n u c l e a r weapons have been d e v e l o p e d — b o t h lac tors l e a d i n g to the possibility that E u r o p e w o u l d be sacrificed u s i n g such devices r a t h e r t h a n the U S m o u n t i n g 'massive r e t a l i a t i o n ' .

Russian

threat

fusion with IC? The t h i r d discussion d o c u m e n t p u b l i s h e d t h i s w e e k by the Universities C o m m i t t e e on Academic Organisation otherwise k n o w n as the S w i n n e r t o n Dver Commhtee recommends that the U n i v e r s i t y of L o n d o n R e a c t o r C e n t r e ( U L R C ) at Silwood Park should become part of I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e . T h e c o m m i t t e e , after l o o k i n g at p o s s i b l e r a t i o n a l i z a t i o n o f colleges i n its first t w o discussion d o c u m e n t s , has now e x a m i n e d the c e n t r a l a c t i v i t i e s of the university. These include U L R C . the Senate Institutes, the c e n t r a l l i b r a r y facilities, U L U a n d the c e n t r a l a d m i n i s t r a t i o n , amongst other things.

I n t h e c a s e of t h e r e a c t o r centre w h i c h is a l r e a d y m a n a g e d a n d m a i n l y u s e d by IC:, t h e suggestion is for IC . to take over the c e n t r e e n t i r e l y , r e c e i v i n g e x t r a g r a n t to c o v e r r u n n i n g costs. It is h o p e d that costs c o u l d be r e d u c e d by s e l l i n g services to outside users. T h e c u r r e n t cost o f ,£220.000 p e r y e a r c o u l d , it is suggested, be 50% c o v e r e d by such i n c o m e .

T h e r e are t w o v i e w s of the R u s s i a n t h r e a t , a c c o r d i n g to the i r o l e s s o r . O n e is t h e ' I s l a m i c ' v i e w p o i n t — t h a t t h e R u s s i a n s c o n t i n u a l l y w a n t to e x p a n d by i n v a s i o n , a n d the o t h e r the ' r i p e f r u i t ' t h e o r y — t h a t the Russians w a i t for c a p i t a l i s t collapse a n d r e v o l u t i o n to b r i n g C o m m u n i s t governments to p o w e r , w h i c h c a n t h e n be "helped" by i n t e r v e n t i o n . T h e ' r i p e fruit' theory, he s a i d , is the more a c c u r a t e , apart f r o m the case of E . E u r o p e , w h i c h was o c c u p i e d d u r i n g W W 2 a n d is now a buffer zone against the W e s t . I n fact, the s i t u a t i o n is r ath er reassuring in W . E u r o p e , since these countries are properous, a n d there is little c h a n c e of C o m m u n i s t r e v o l u t i o n . B u t i n E . E u r o p e , c e n t r a l p l a n n i n g a n d oppression has f a i l e d , l e a d i n g P r o f N e i l d to c o n c l u d e that the Soviet forces there are l o r g a r r i s o n purposes against P r a i s e for U L U l o c a l revolt r a t h e r t h a n for offensive a n t i - W e s t e r n reasons. T h e o n l y c h a n c e of the U S a n d the Soviet U n i o n c o m i n g to blows is over "Third W o r l d i n v o l v e m e n t — b u t even this w o u l d tend to be at a r m s l e n g t h . T h e section o n student f a c i l i C o m p a r i n g the policies of deterrence a n d defence, he saw deterrence as t i e s is f u l l o f p r a i s e f o r t h e b e i n g a n a l o g o u s to a r m i n g y o u r s e l f w i t h a s w o r d , to frighten y o u r U n i v e r s i t y of L o n d o n U n i o n o p p o n e n t , a n d thus p r o v o k i n g h i m to a r m h i m s e l f P u r e l y defensive ( U L U ) . A f t e r m e n t i o n i n g the policies (as p r a c t i s e d by S w i t z e r l a n d a n d S w e d e n , say) he saw as a part p l a y e d by U L U i n represhield, w i t h o u t threat to anyone but an i n v a d e r , a n d this not s p a r k i n g s e n t i n g students o n the Senate, ii an a r m s race. e x a m i n e s the t r a d i n g activities. Next T u e s d a y , F i e l d M a r s h a l l the L o r d C a r v e r , is l o talk on T h e c o n c l u s i o n is " T h e U n i o n " N u c l e a r W e a p o n s in E u r o p e " as the next part of this series. b u i l d i n g seems to us one of the most efficient a n d e c o n o m i c a l institutions in the U n i v e r s i t y . " T h u s no further cuts are r e c o m m e n d e d for U L U . 1

ICON stops production

T h e d o c u m e n t is a l s o v e r y c o m p l i m e n t a r y to I C , w h i l s t j u s t i f y i n g the direct U G C f u n d i n g , w h i c h the C o l l e g e alone in the U n i v e r s i t y enjoys. " F o r a generation it has been n a t i o n a l p o l i c y to b u i l d u p I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e to be one o f the foremost scientific and technological institutions in the w o r l d — t o be B r i t a i n ' s c o u n t e r p a r t to M I T . " A n d , in the w o r d s of L o r d W i 1 b e r f o r c e, " T h e n a t i o n , h a v i n g w i l l e d the e n d , must w i l l the m e a n s . "

Editorial Board decides T h e Editorial Board of I C O N , the I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e R e v i e w , have d e c i d e d to suspend p u b l i c a t i o n i n d e f i n i t e l y d u e to t h e current financial situation. In the last issue, w h i c h w i l l be p u b l i s h e d o n F e b r u a r y 5, they state that they no longer feel that they are justified i n a s k i n g for a subsidy from C o l l e g e funds a n d that the decision was e n t i r e l y theirs. T h e y were not forced to

cease p u b l i c a t i o n by pressures f r o m C o l l e g e , they state. The last issue c o n t a i n s , amongst other things, reviews of the A l f r e d L a m m e r p r i n t d i s p l a y in the C o n s o r t G a l l e r y , the R C S C e n t e n a r y C o n c e r t g i v e n by I C O r c h e s t r a , the O p e r a t i c Society p e r f o r m a n c e at S a i n t J a m e s ' C h u r c h , P i c c a d i l l y a n d the I C Choir Christmas Concert.

FELIX, January 22, 1982

C o p i e s of the discussion d o c u m e n t are a v a i l a b l e for i n s p e c t i o n in the I C U n i o n Office.


qualitative aspects were rich in h u m o u r a n d d r a m a and I trust that these have been passed on from generation to g e n e r a t i o n at p o s t - m a t c h convivialities. T h e y were memorable days indeed! limn

sincerely

(inome C a p t a i n "55 S u m m i t , N e w Jersev ' ISA Dear

Continued from

page 2

VVcalc himself was already the centrepiece of m a n y I C c r i c k e t i n g legends by the m i d 1950s. M o s t o f these, however, w e r e not q u a n t i f i a b l e in n u m e r i c a l terms or, if they were, the n u m b e r s were generally quite low. The

Small Ads • L a d y F l o w e r s a n d t h e IC W i v e s C l u b invite y o u t o a free B e e r a n d B a n g e r s in t h e R e c t o r ' s P a d (170 O u e e n s g a t e ) o n T u e s d a y , J a n u a r y 2 6 f r o m 5:30-7:00. E v e r y b o d y w e l c o m e , n a m e s to J e n in U n i o n O f f i c e b y 5:00pm T O D A Y . • J a g o : D o y o u k n o w of S H Q . C S S R ? D o y o u w a n t t h e m . M a y 7. • D e a r Dwarf, S t u m p y a n d C h i m p Have r e c e i v e d letter G n o m e . W h o is B i l l F i n d e l l ? Letter r e a d s (see p a g e 2 a n d 4). E n c o u n t e r e d Nobbly. Interpreter? T h e n what . • E l e c t r i c guitar. Satellite L e s P a u l copy. Sunburst finish. Might Mite pick-ups, with shaped hard case, only £85ono. S e e A . Kimber, C h e m E n g 3 or 381-9571 (eves). ' P i o n e e r t u n e r / a m p , b a s s a n d treble c o n t r o l s for e a c h c h a n n e l , h i g h a n d l o w f r e q u e n c y filters, A M / F M stereo, 2 5 w / c h a n n e l , £45. R i n g 584-0854. • N i k o n F 3 b o d y , M D 4 m o t o r drive, SB12 flash, N i k k o r z o o n 35-70mm, V i vitar s e r i e s . 1 z o o m 7 0 - 2 1 0 m m , plus a c c e s s o r y . E v e r y t h i n g is a b s o l u t e l y b r a n d n e w , s p e n d w e l l o v e r £100, budget p r o b l e m , q u i c k sale £800. P h o n e 6 3 6 - 0 5 5 6 after 6 : 0 0 p m . • O n e set of t h e r m o d y n a m i c s n o t e s for A e r o E n g 2 course, slightly burned e l s e in perfect c o n d i t i o n . C o n t a c t S . W. N e i l d , thru letter-racks. • Rover 3500S, 1974, red, black interior, vinyl roof, 38,000m, vgc, £ 1 2 5 0 o n o : A u s t i n A 6 0 1962, g r e y , red l e a t h e r interior, 3 5 , 0 0 0 m , £ 1 8 0 o n o . P h o n e T o n y , int 3 5 2 1 . • T h e R i c o c h e t D i s c o — L o o k i n g for a m o r e p r o f e s s i o n a l d i s c o t h e q u e for your party or s o c i a l function? Don't settle f o r l e s s , b o o k t h e best. C o n t a c t Colin , R o o m A 2 , Linstead Hall. • T w o girls wanted to m a k e up a group of 8 s o t h a t w e c a n a p p l y f o r a C o l l e g e h e a d t e n a n c y flat next y e a r . P l e a s e c o n t a c t P h i l i p A d e y , A e r o 2 via letterracks.

Page 4

Sir

I, J . J . S e y m o u r C o l e , being of sound body and mind, hereby, due to unforseen circumstances beyond m y control, wish to inform y o u , w h i c h is to p r o m u l g a t e the fact, that m y i n t e n t i o n s , as set o u t below, f o l l o w i n g intense delibe r ati o n , a n d m a n y sleepless nights, are: D u e to unforseen c i r c u m stances at the time of the u n foreseen circumstances aforem e n t i o n e d above (and a l l that c r a p ) , i n m y o p i n i o n , the higher echelons of the C & G E x e c u t i v e have failed to m a i n • W a n t e d : lift to C o l l e g e f r o m Park Walk, S W 1 0 , Johnny , Stan's B a r most nights. • I s t h e r e a C i n d e r e l l a in n e e d of a g l a s s s l i p p e r (or even a pair of A d i d a s r u g b y b o o t s ) ? P r e s e n t a t i o n of a s i m i l a r pair, a l o n g wit h a pair of rugb y socks, taken on Tuesday lunchtime f r o m the U n i o n c h a n g i n g r o o m s wil l result in s a t i s f a c t i o n for a l l . A p p l y C h a r l e s d e R o h a n , M a t h s 1. • I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e o p e n darts t o u r n a ment, Fremlin Singles C u p , Scottish a n d N e w c a s t l e P a i r s C u p , n a m e s to R o g e r and J i m m y , Union Bar, by F r i d a y , F e b r u a r y 5. • M i c r o C l u b s c r e w e d u p their m a i l i n g list. P l e a s e tell T i m P a n t o n , P h y s i c s 3, y o u r dept, s o we can contact y o u ! • I n d i a Society celebrates Republic D a y w i t h a s p e c i a l f u n c t i o n in the J C R o n F e b r u a r y 6 at 7:00pm. T i c k e t s £1.50 available from committee. • W a n t e d : o n e g o o d party, preferably in a h o u s e o r flat, K a r e n a n d O w e n , F a l m o u t h K e o g h p h o n e 31. • W a n t e d a n y t h i n g in a skirt, R o s c o , C h e m E n g 1.

tain the active social image ol Dear Sir G u i l d s U n i o n , especially w i t h R e the ignominious b u n c h respect to mascotry, w h i c h has of cock-suckers a n d hand-job been reduced to a farcical level merchants that we in C h e m 2 w i t h the i n t r o d u c i o n of v a r i - have h a d imposed upon us. ous truces, etc., with a l l res- W e wish it to be k n o w n that p o n s i b i l i t y b e i n g r e m o v e d we totally dissociate ourselves from the esteemed position from the egotistical comments w h i c h I have been p r o u d to and " i n - j o k e s " w h i c h they hold, a n d entrusted to others. choose to impose upon the Consequently, I hereby sub- readership of your learned mit m y resignation lo the post journal. of C i t y a n d G u i l d s U n i o n lours irately S p a n n e r Bearer. Danny O ' H a r e , R. Jones, } ours D a v e A r m s t r o n g , R u s s e l l J . J . S e y m o u r C o l e S m i t h ( C h e m 2) Dear

Sir

Sir

I think that the suggestion in the last issue o l ' F E L I X that an " a c c i d e n t " should happen to c e r t a i n m e m b e r s ol C h e m i s t r y 2 is a scandal a n d an outrage. It is obvious that you are t o t a l l y i n e x p e r i e n c e d in dealing with such people. T a l k i n g as a m a n experienced in such matters, I can assure you that any actions should be entirely deliberate.

faithfully

J ours

M s V e r a Hallets

H.Cielle

} ours

gSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS5(

T h e r e will be a m e e t i n g i n the I C Office

at 5 : 3 0 p m

today, Friday

Union

January

22, for all the potential c o n t r i b u t o r s to this

• N u c l e a r war imminent: Squadron L e a d e r S i m o n ( S p a s t i c ) N e i l d is o n the l o o s e . H a s the R A F g o n e totally m a d ? • R i c h get y o u r h a n d s off it! P a u l a n d Dave. • P h y s i c s 1 S o c R e p , J F , D i c k i e Dirts is o p e n until 8:00pm t o n i g h t — L - S t r a u s s . • C o n s o c w i l l i n g to a f f i l i a t e w i t h C o m s o c provided they d e n o u n c e M a g g i e as a witch. • B a r o n s and Catering Managers, do y o u f i n d s t u d e n t s spitting at pictures of y o u . T h e n k e e p N i c k M o r t o n as p r e s i d e n t s o m e o n e w h o really k n o w s h o w to d o n o t h i n g . • T o m C o t t r e l l Nat West l i a s o n officer will be available on Tuesdays and F r i d a y s b e t w e e n 1pm a n d 2 p m for a d v i c e w i t h r e g a r d to related b a n k i n g s e r v i c e s s u c h a s i n s u r a n c e , investm e n t a n d tax a d v i c e in the interview r o o m of the C o l l e g e s u b b r a n c h d u r i n g t e r m time. N o a p p o i n t m e n t is necessary. • M i k e - e n j o y yourself Thursday? N o ? t h e n d o n ' t g o to H a m m e r s m i t h next time!

Dear

I feel that the U n i o n / C o l lege " u s a n d t h e m " relations h i p has n o w d e v e l o p e d b e t w e e n the s t u d e n t s a n d M i c h a e l A r t h u r of the S t u dents Services Office, who is now a- College employee, as opposed lo a U n i o n employee. A r e we to assume from your references to fairies in the last t w o issues t h a t y o u t h i n k M i c h a e l A r t h u r is "one of them".

year's

edition

of

The

Phoenix.

If

you

w o u l d like to help or di s c u ss ideas for a contribution,

you

will

be

extremely

w e l c o m e . T h e E d i t o r will also be p l e a s e d to

suggest

a s i g n m e n t s to

cannot decide

THE

MAGAZINE

FELIX. January 22. 1982

OF

anybody

who

what to contribute.

IMPERIAL

COLLEGE

UNION


"Why I believe RCS is going to the dogs" by S . J . Marshall, ARCS T h e c e n t e n a r y year of the R o y a l C o l l e g e of S c i e n c e s e e m s a n o p p o r t u n e time to p o n d e r o n the d o w n w a r d t r e n d in the r e p u t a t i o n of this o n c e r e p u t a b l e i n s t i t u t i o n to s u c h a n e x t e n t that M r D a v e T h o m p s o n , R C S U n i o n P r e s i d e n t , finds it n e c e s s a r y t o c o n s u m e his o w n e x c r e m e n t in the U n i o n B a r as a c e l e b r a t i o n of this a c h i e v e m e n t . M a y I offer s o m e of m y o w n p e r s o n a l t h o u g h t s o n the m a t t e r , w r i t i n g as a p r o u d A s s o c i a t e of the R C S w h o is l o s i n g that p r i d e r a p i d l y o n o v e r v i e w i n g the recent a c t i o n s of the R C S U n i o n , s u p p o s e d l y r e p r e s e n t a t i v e of the R C S as a w h o l e . 1 shall a t t e m p t t o s h o w that they are not r e p r e s e n t a t i v e a n d d e s e r v e n o s u p p o r t but o n l y the c o n t e m p t of t h o s e w h o are. upon graduation; membership of the R C S T h e t r o u b l e s e e m s to stem from the A s s o c i a t i o n is d w i n d l i n g b e c a u s e it is unhealthy relationship between the higher u n f o r t u n a t e l y t a r r e d by t h e s a m e b r u s h . echelons of the R C S U n i o n and those people Similarly, 1 could not feel p r o u d to write the k n o w n collectively as the "22 C l u b " . T h i s club letters A . R . C . S . after my name. L u c k i l y , I is a " p r i v a t e " organisation w h i c h is intended c a m e to the R C S w h e n the U n i o n h a d for people who have made a contribution to leadership worthy of the college's reputation, the R C S U n i o n in social and athletic spheres; still socially orientated of course, but in an elected membership. A t this stage I should a m i c a b l e way; the u n i o n was u n i t e d . point out that I have absolutely no desire to be E x c e s s e s , if indulged at all, were indulged in disrespectful to older members of the 22 C l u b , private. I would be happy for M r T h o m p s o n to or indeed to some current student members; I c o n s u m e bucketfuls of shit in the privacy of his a m sure that they would not c o n d o n e the foul o w n sty, but not in public in the week of the a c t s of t h e few, in p a r t i c u l a r , M r D a v e C e n t e n a r y celebrations, the organisation of T h o m p s o n , who I believe, as R C S U n i o n which he had s h o w n minimal interst. T h a t is P r e s i d e n t h as a c t e d o u t s i d e t h e n o r m a l out of order. d e c o r u m afforded to s u c h a noble position I believe this year's R C S fresher has been within the structure of the R C S . actively discouraged from showing any interest T h e 22 C l u b is not above public comment in the college's past history by these unceasing because it is a "private club"; its constitution discreditable acts, presumably intended to makes it an integral part of the R C S . It seeks impress, coupled with narrative from this years to elect " w o r t h y " member s of the R C S and in R C S U n i o n Officers, who are surely the most so doing becomes representative of the R C S . slow-witted, shallow and uninspiring b u n c h of It i s u n f o r t u n a t e t h a t t h e o n l y t a n g i b l e m o r o n s to emerge into the limelight in my four r e p r e s e n t a t i o n s of the R o y a l C o l l e g e of years' personal knowledge of the R C S . S c i e n c e , w h i c h excels in academic excellence, I believe M r T h o m p s o n is a quite genuine should be the R C S U n i o n heirarchy and the 22 person who believes he is w o r k i n g towards a C l u b . M e m b e r s of these organisations do not great surge in the popularity of the R C S excel academically because they are too busy U n i o n . But he is labouring under the massive excelling at vomiting out of windows onto misconception that his sole coprophagous passers-by a n d c o n s u m i n g faeces in public. contribution to the C e n t e n a r y celebrations was T h i s is a recent trend; a pity it should have a great thing. I feel freshers will not have reached s u c h an unseemly climax in the year returned home this C h r i s t m a s to tell their of the College's centenary, in fact the very parents: " H e y . R C S is a really great place, they week! eat their o w n shit." Unfortunately, neither will If I l a c k e d knowledge of the glorious history they have told their parents of the great men of the R C S a n d of its achievements in its one who owe their greatness to the R C S , from T . h u n d r e d years of existence and had only the H . H u x l e y and H . G . Wells of yesteryear to the R C S U n i o n and 22 C l u b to look up to, I should nobel laureates of today. A n d this was simply certainly not want to sustain any connection

b e c a u s e they t o o k little i n t e r e s t in the C e n t e n a r y a n d unfortunately missed out o n a n excellent opportunity to delve into history. It was handed to them on a platter but M r T h o m p s o n and his unsavoury friends had already seen to it that their first impressions were the w r o n g ones. Encouragement for M r T h o m p s o n emanates from the bowels of the 22 C l u b , an organisation that has enough collective experience to k n o w better. T h e very thing that the club was set up in 1922 to safeguard, that is the preservation of social wellbeing within the R C S (from a respectable distance) is now being destroyed by the mentally impoverished minority presently being deemed " w o r t h y " of membership. In the same way as decent member s of the 22 C l u b are degraded and tarnished by the acts of the few, so too are A L L members of the R C S , those "not privileged" to be singled out as official representatives, but who nevertheless have the right to be p r o u d of their college, and its history. Sense has not even permeated into the one member of the R C S U n i o n team w h o might have been thought to possess it, namely D r C h r i s B r u t o n , Life S c i e n c e s lecturer, Senior T r e a s u r e r of the R C S U n i o n (and m e m b e r of 22 C l u b ) . W h e n I interviewed him o n his thoughts about the future of the R C S , with particular reference to M r D a v e T h o m p s o n , he s h o w e d what a fine judge of character he was. H e said that M r T h o m p s o n was " a very nice c h a p " . B u t p e r h a p s D r B r u t o n was just treading carefully, as he later admitted to' thinking he was "as thick as two short p l a n k s " . In s u m m a t i o n , what R C S students must never forget is that to be a n A s s o c i a t e of the R o y a l C o l l e g e of S c i e n c e ( A . R . C . S . ) is something to be p r o u d of. W e must never allow the r u bbi sh people who strut a r o u n d in the name of the R C S to take that away from us. In a nutshell, it simply means that the ones who really are representative of the R C S must not allow themselves to be c o n n e d by the intellectually inept few who believe they are the c h o s e n race.

MEND-A-BIKE

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For the short distance cyclist s e c o n d - h a n d

s m a l l w h e e l c y c l e s b e t w e e n £20 a n d £30.

L i m i t e d n u m b e r o f e x - r e n t a l c y c l e s £49.00.

Trade-ins

accepted,

FELIX. January 22, 1982

also credit facilities

available.

Page 5


Continued

from Issue 600

Take a walk down ROAD

FEL T h e y e a r s b e t w e e n 1967 a n d 1974 w e r e notable for m a n y lay-out a n d organisational changes. A t the start F E L I X was retailing fortnightly for 4d a n d edited by whoever was willing to devote enough time to it and study for a degree at the same time. B y O c t o b e r 1974 it was the weekly, free F E L I X y o u now k n o w , having undergone several changes in cost, size a n d particularly editorial style. T h e 1967/8 F E L I X was approximately twice the size of the one before but still managed to average ten pages u n d e r three different editors. It was a year of inquorate U G M s , bitter C o u n c i l arguments and heralded the ambivalent attitude of wanting more w o m e n at I C yet simultaneously begrudging t h e m access t o t h e U n i o n B a r . C h r i s t m a s p r e s e n t s in F E L I X also started that vear. these being cuto u t s , joss s t i c k s , C h r i s t m a s cards a n d later grass, a 'pill', balloons a n d C h r i s t m a s tree lights. Police

Brutality

O c t o b e r 1968 ( n o . 264) i n t r o d u c e d y e t another page size a n d the first headline was the excellent " F u z z B u s t H a s h " . H o w e v e r the headline d i d not refer to the flourishing College drug-scene at the time but to J a v a d ' A d o l f H a s h t e r o u d i o n , R C S U Vice-President. H e was attending a V i e t n a m demonstration at P a r k L a n e the J u l y before w h e n he was charged with throwing stones at a policeman although ' H a s h ' claimed to be in the middle of the d e m o , writing poetry! H o w e v e r , the situation was not at all a m u s i n g for H a s h , as he was held in police custody for a time a n d eventually fined ÂŁ25 (plus 10 guineas cost) a n d given a threem o n t h s u s p e n d e d sentence.

T h e headline of the following issue " P e n n e y D r o p s A A " referring to how after eight years of negotiations, L o r d P e n n e y , the R e c t o r had a n n o u n c e d there w o u l d be no merger between IC a n d the A r c h i t e c t u r e A s s o c i a t i o n . T h e 1970/1 s e s s i o n was uneventful by c o m p a r i s o n ; the price d r o p p e d to 272d for nos. 299 to 301, editor J . R o g e r s including the first topless F E L I X female in 301. H e e x p l a i n e d i n 302 w h y t h a t a n d a l l f u t u r e F E L I C E S w o u l d be free (therefore this is the 301st free F E L I X ) .

T h e price went up to 6d for 1969/70, the first issue being no. 272 which m a r k e d the start of another trend for picture covers. T h i s trend c o n t i n u e d until no. 281 (cover: a wall with a ' F E L I X R o a d ' sign) when using both R C S Broadsheet and C o u n c i l as a forum the R S M U President criticised the 'wasted front page and generally poor quality of the last issue'. T h i s along with what was termed 'not only a waste of space but a far more dangerous waste than the photo of the F E L I X R o a d sign,' in the R S M U n e w s l e t t e r a n d the c r i t i c a l a n d unhelpful attitude of C o u n c i l caused M a l c o l m Williamson to announce his resignation in the editorial of no. 282 Ian C a r r took over for no. 285, the first of the seventies, with the C C U sheets vs F E L I X antagonism still rife. In the previous issue R C S Broadsheet had claimed to be more chatty and up-to-date whilst replying in another letter D ave C h a n t (soon to be third e d i t o r of t h e t r a u m a t i c 1 9 6 9 / 7 0 s e s s i o n ) explained this was due to the perennial lack of staff. O n a lighter note, no. 287 included a letter ratings girls from J C , IF, M a r i a A s s u m p t a K i n g s R o a d , L o n d o n , G l a s g o w and Edinburgh o n an ascending scale of neutral, moderately pretty, beautiful, pretty and very pretty. T h e letter was signed Paris.

Size of sample 200 400 60 35 2000 150 500

Place I IC Kings R d . Institut Francais MA. London Glasgow Edinburgh

The Cat is free Issue 302, October 4 1971

Pretty Moderately

FELIX FUZZ BUST HASH No 2M

Page 6

NEWSPAPER Of THE IMPERIAL COLLEGE STUDENTS UNION WEDNESDAY. ! OCTOBER 146*

FELIX,

January

22,

1982

Very Pretty

Pretty

0 0

1 0 0 0

5

1

0 2

0 0

0 1

Frivolling Felix M r R o g e r s certainly gave a n impression of cheapness in the first free issue, with s u c h headlines o n the front page as: NEWS

IN

BRIEFS

PHALLUSY FRENCH

LETTERS

TIME TO

THE

EDITOR


FREAK OUT TO THE

IMPERIAL COLLEGE OCT. 26 Tickets 10/- or 17/6 Double. The next editor, Dave Sugden, then published in no. 304 what he hoped would be, and now is, the F E L I X of the future. H e described that proposals for a weekly F E L I X , pr o du c e d by a sabbatical editor would be put before Publications B o a r d . Sabbaticals O b v i o u s l y this was agreed although it was not prominently e x p o s e d in F E L I X . Sugden's final edition, 310, included a credit for Dolly O w s o n and a warning of apathy (surprise!) while 311, p r o d u c e d by the U n i o n H o n S e c , had the following on the back page.

Back to Front H o w e v e r , n o t e v e r y t h i n g f o l l o w e d in a logical sequence: in no. 314 under the title " P o r n : A C o m m u n i s t P l o t " was a photo of the stripper of 301 before removing her bra, while no. 315 s h o w e d shots of M o t o r S h o w models from various illuminating angles. C o p i e s of these four photos will be on view in the F E L I X Office for a nominal charge during this week. T h e front page of no. 336 had a " F E L I X Editor Threatened with C a s t r a t i o n " (by U n i o n S e c for leaking election results) caption, but m u c h more seriously were the events reported on the cover of no. 337: " W h e r e are our Rag M a g s ? , F E L I X E d C e n s u r e d — B u t Resignation B i d Fails ". T h i s described the blunders made by D o w s o n in having M i k e Williams' Rag M a g s printed. C o u n c i l had made D o w s o n print a letter from Williams on the front page, a l t h o u g h in t h e a c c o m p a n y i n g r e p o r t no e l a b o r a t i o n was given on h o w P . J o w i t t (Deputy President) had s u c c e e d e d in dragging numerous parts of M r D o w s o n ' s private life into the argument. Williams was later to follow D o w s o n as F E L I X Editor. T h i s issue also i n c l u d e d the following insert about an Improbable College.

In his epilogue Oily answered criticisms of his F E L I X by stating news was up to 25%, adding that the following Editor planned more, suggested U G M s be named S o c s o c meetings ( r e m a r k i n g how S o c s o c no longer held meetings of their own) and claimed C C U s were destroying I C U . The 1973/4 session F E L I C E S were dominated by U n i o n news, the reason being A . C a m p b e l l ' s r e s o l u t i o n to i n c r e a s e n e w s content a n d his replacement by P. W a d s w o r t h who was both F E L I X Editor and H o n Sec for t w o of t h e t h r e e t e r m s of t h e s e s s i o n . W a d s w o r t h , in his 358 editorial, explained he only wrote editorials when he ran out of c o p y and criticised several of his staff for being biased. The session ended with D P , D. Sinclair, resigning his post near the end of his t e r m in office b e c a u s e he h a d n o t b e e n awarded a U G A . D u r i n g this time IC played host to many big name bands and solo acts, either in the G r e a t Hall or in C a r n i v a l gigs held at outside venues like the A l b e r t H a l l . T h e s e included D e e p Purple, D o n o v a n (a real money-spinner), Elton J o h n , Q u e e n and L o u Reed. T h i s last gig coinciding with a pick-up in the drug scene. This week's advert is for the first of two P i n k F l o y d gigs at I C .

Oliver Francis DOWSON " Felix "

Editor

T h e f o l l o w i n g y e a r S u g d e n ' s v i s i o n s of F E L I X were realised with D o w s o n as the first weekly, paid Editor. H e also edited Sennet (now L o n d o n Student) at the same time and introduced a F E E I X FINANCIA££Y page. Visually his (and the next year's) F E L I C E S were boring, being tabloid size, printed o n a s i m i l a r q u a l i t y of p a p e r a n d l a c k i n g i n photographs. D ave Sugden's prediction of apathy p r o v e d very true, there being four elections for President that year. T h i s gave D o w s o n the opportunity for one of several h e a d l i n e s s p a n n i n g two i s s u e s . N o . 315 referred to the first election saying " A b s t a i n " . " A n d T h e y D i d " being the headline of no. 316.

scandalous FELIX 337

FELIX, January 22, 1982

Page 7


• C h e m s o c l e c t u r e : 'Platinum Anti-Cancer Drugs' by Mr P.C. Hyde (Johsnon-Mattey), 4:30pm, Lecture Theatre C.

What's On Friday,

January

22

• B U N A C w e e k l y m e e t i n g , 12:30pm, Green Comm Rm. • I n d u s t r i a l S o c c o m m m e e t i n g , 1:00pm, Chem Eng Concourse. • C h r i s t i a n U n i o n m e e t i n g with 'Bible Study as the theme, 6:30pm, 53 Prince _ Gate. Followed by coffee and biscuits, with prayer meeting between 9:00-10:00pm. • P h o e n i x staff m e e t i n g , 5:30pm, Union Office. 1

Saturday,

January

23

• B i r d w a t c h i n g t r i p t o T h o r n e y P o i n t , 7:20am, Water loo ticket station, £4.50 (will get some back), bring railcard, wellies, packed lunch and binos, if any. • C h i n e s e n e w y e a r c e l e b r a t i o n : pantomime, dinner and disco, 6:30pm, Union Concert Hall, Lower Refectory and JCR, 80p (disco only). Arranged by IC Chinese Soc. All welcome.

Sunday,

January

24

• W L C c o m m u n i o n s e r v i c e , 10:00am, Consort Gallery. • W a r g a m e s c l u b m e e t i n g , 1:00pm, Union SCR.

Monday,

January

25

• H a n g - g l i d i n g c l u b m e e t i n g , 12:30pm, above Southside Bar.

January

26

• B o a r d s a i l i n g c l u b w e e k l y m e e t i n g , 12:30 and 6:15pm, Southside Upper Lounge. Contact Nick Ajderian ME3 or Andy Grimshaw Zoo 2 for more details. • C a t h o l i c m a s s a n d l u n c h , 12:30pm, Chem 231. Nominal charge for lunch. • S T O I C p r o g r a m m e : 'Film Special', Richard O'Brien, who wrote the music and screenplay for and starred in The

Rocky

Horror

Picture

Show,

and the recently re-

leased Shock Treatment, 1:00 and 6:00pm, JCR, Southside T V Lounge, Southside, Beit, Linstead and Weeks Halls. • D e p t of H u m a n i t i e s p r e s e n t s 1. N u c l e a r W a r in E u r o p e ? Part 2: Nuclear Weapons in Europe with Field Marshal the Lord Carver, GCB, CBE, DSO, MC, Former Chief of the Defence Staff, 1:30pm, Theatre 1, Blackett Laboratory. Arranged by IC European Disarmament Group. 2. M a n , M i n d a n d S p i r t Part 2: Becoming a Person Dr Martin Israel, Senior Lecturer in Pathology, Royal College of Surgeons, 1:30pm, Read Theatre, Sherfield. • I C A m n e s t y g r o u p m e e t i n g , 5:30pm, Green Comm Rm (top floor, Union Building). • W i n e t a s t i n g S o c i e t y tasting some of the wines from Provence, 6:00pm, Union SCR. • I C M i c r o c l u b p r e s e n t a talk by RARDE on 'A military Distributed Computing Network', 7:00, Huxley LT145, free to members, non-members 30p. Film also! • B U N A C film a n d s n a c k s e v e n i n g , 7:00pm HB340 (Maths dept), free. • D a n c i n g c l u b b e g i n n e r s c l a s s , 7:30pm, JCR. • I C C A G S o u p R u n , meet 10:30pm, Falmouth Kitchens.

Hair b y

Aw

priglss

January

27

1

• D a n c i n g c l u b a d v a n c e d c l a s s , 7:30pm, JCR.

Tuesday,

Wednesday,

• W a r g a m e s c l u b m e e t i n g , 1:00pm, Union SCR. • A n t i - A p a r t h e i d m e e t i n g , 1:00, Union Upper Lounge. • A s t r o s o c o b s e r v i n g m e e t i n g : Dr Bignall giving advice on 'Astronomical Photography , 3:30pm, 'Waveguide', Physics. Free to members. • I C T r a m p o l i n e s o c i e t y m e e t i n g , 5:30pm, Courtauld Hall, QEC, Campenden Hill Rd. Contact Kristen Hansen, Chem 2 for further info. • D a n c i n g c l u b i n t e r m e d i a t e c l a s s , 7:30pm, JCR.

Thursday,

January

28

• C h r i s t i a n S c i e n c e g r o u p m e e t i n g , 1:00pm, Seminar Room, Level 2S, Botany. • S T O I C p r o g r a m m e featuring'News-Break', 1:00 and 6:00pm, JCR (1:00pm only), Southside T V Lounge, Beit, Southside, Linstead and Weeks Halls. • M e c h E n g s o c p r e s e n t s a t a l k on the success of Japanese Industry by Mr Wilson, 1:00pm, ME342. • D e p t of H u m a n i t i e s p r e s e n t s : 1. T h e W o r l d at W a r ( T h a m e s T V ) Part 12: Nemesis, 1:15pm, Great Hail. 2. L u n c h - h o u r C o n c e r t La Raphaele (Baroque Ensemble), 1:30pm, Music Rm, 53 Princes Gate. 3. A n E n g i n e e r l o o k s at B i o l o g y Part 3: Evolution and the Managing Director Prof Eric Laithwaite, 1:30pm, Read Theatre. (Postponed from autumn term.) • Z i m b a b w e : T h e C h a l l e n g e of I n d e p e n d e n c e , a talk by H E R T Zwinoira, High Commissioner for Zimbabwe, 1:30pm, Pippard Lecture Theatre. (Arranged by ICU Overseas Students Committee.) • G l i d i n g C l u b M e e t i n g , 5:30pm, Aero 254 • F i s h i n g c l u b m e e t i n g , 6:00pm, Stan's Bar. • E n t s film: Kentucky Fried Movie, 6:30pm, Mech Eng 220, 50p. • J e w i s h s o c g e n e r a l m e e t i n g , lunchtime, venue t.b.a.

I.C.EBTTS P R E S E N T S TONIGHT

T H E " O n l y 3 3 7 Days till Christmas "PARTY

HAIRDRESSING FOR M E N & W O M E N

With :

WALTER MIITY'S

DISCO

JCR

i

LITTLE WHITE

LIES

BAR

t i c k e t s : £ 1 IDVIICS £ 1 * 2 5 DOOR

8-*

2 I % %

IC Chinese Society pres CHINESE NEW YEAR CELEBRATIONS

Barney McCabe did it. How about you? 20% reduction on production of Union card 68 GLOUCESTER R O A D LONDON S.W.7. TELEPHONE: 01-584 7193 01-584 0858

on Saturday, January 23 with Pantomime: Dinner:

8:00pm, Sherfield L o w e r

Disco:

Hall.

Refectory.

9 : 3 0 p m till l a t e , J C R . M e m b e r s : £4; O t h e r s : £5: J u s t D i s c o : 80p. ( T i c k e t nos. 21-30 are void!)

Formal

OPENING TIMES: MONDAY 9-6.00 LATE NIGHTS TUESDAY. WEDNESDAY. THURSDAY. FRIDAY 9-8.00 SATURDAY 9-5.00

Page 8

6:30pm, Union Concert

FELIX. January 22. 1982

dress

please.

ALL WELCOME


Cutter's

Way,

Gate

Notting

Hill,

X

A description eludes me at present but the plot in its most basic (and perhaps incorrect) form is fairly simple: A rich and powerful magnate, J . C o r d murders a y o u ng cheerleader and it seems that he will get away with the crime because the only witness, R i c h a r d B o n e , is almost fatally apathetic. B o n e has a friend, A l e x C u t t e r , a Vietnamese war veteran who is heavily mutilated and seems to have one bodily organ where most people have two, and it is this y o u ng m a n who makes for the vitality of the film. By hook or by c r o o k (the latter as it turns out) C u t t e r intends to get C o r d for his deed just like T h e M o u n t i e s always do. It is very difficult to decide as to whether it is or is not w o r t h seeing since most of the few people who have seen it like it, but I didn't. It was not as entertaining as Raiders nor as morally depressing as Christiane F. It is not "light", although it does have some amusing scenes, but then so do a lot of B movies. Shezi

Abedi

Translations. A new play by Brian Friel. Directed by Donald McWhinnie. The Theatre. Lyttelton, National A Ledge s c h o o l in the year 1833 in the townland of Braile B e a g (Ballybeg), an Irishspeaking c o m m u n i t y in C o u n t y Donegal, sets by the the scene for the play Translations c o n t e m p o r a r y Irish playwright Brian Friel. A hedge school, I was interested to find out, was a place s u c h as a barn or a loft where peasants studied in the evening after a hard day's toil on the land. T h e y were taught by men drawn from their o w n stock and they often attained a high degree of proficiency in s u c h unlikely subjects as the classics. L e a r n i n g was done entirely through the vernacular G a e l i c . -Against this somewhat inconspicuous scene a m i l i t a r y d e p u t a t i o n from the B r i t i s h g o v e r n m e n t is s t a l k i n g t h e c o u n t r y s i d e anglicising all the place names for the first O r d i n a n c e S u r v e y of Ireland, and all this at a time when the hedge schools and the Gaelic language they were keeping alive were being absorbed into the recently i n t r o d u c e d State system of education with English as the first language. O n a superficial level the play is depicting a national and rustic way of life being wasted away by a temporal and political tide, and the tense relationship between the English and the Irish depicted in the play set almost 150 years a g o is s t i l l s a d l y r e l e v a n t t o d a y . B u t t h e u n d e r l y i n g s u b s t a n c e of t h e p l a y is m o r e universal and meaningful. Friel is building onto the fabric of hedge s c h o o ls and the O r d i n a n c e S u r v e y a masterful and beautiful exposition of language—both on the aesthetic a n d uplifting heights it c a n r e a c h , but also o n the frustration a n d e v e n d a n g e r it c a n e n g e n d e r . T h e s e qualities of language are expressed beautifully in the play. A n o l d , grey bearded peasant

John Heard

as the horribly

disfigured

Cutter

b e c o m e s enraptured by Virgil. A d u m b girl is taught to say her name. T h e school master delights in the Latin roots of G a e l i c words. A n English officer anglicises place names, but obliterates whole local legends in the process. A n d a peasant girl a n d an officer in love with each other c a n no more than embrace. A l l these qualities a n d others are expressed in the play in a dialogue of w o r d s w h i c h in themselves I found incredibly moving, heart-warming and incredibly beautiful. E v e n the acting was superlative. T h e play was first staged o n a tour of Ireland last year but later appeared at the highly enterprising H a m p s t e a d Theatre where it was greeted in The Times as a national classic. T h e director of the theatre u p o n reading the play said "It was the sort of script y o u read once every ten years if y o u are l u c k y " . T h e play is certainly in a class of its own. Nick Bedding

Shaun

Scott and Bernadette

Shorrt

FELIX, January 22, 1982

Still Crazy The Bush (Shepherds Bush Green). Presented by Bush Theatre Hull truck. Runs until January 30. A play that trails t h r o u g h the swirling misappreheosions, assumptions a n d personal fall of those young in the sixties and their inability to c o m e to terms with the notion that they c o r r u p t e d and betrayed the ideals of their nebulous twenties. N i c k , who w o r k s for the B B C , and L i b b y , who brings up a c h i l d , attempt to unravel the eighties in cliches two decades too late. T h e play invokes the characters' guilt at the i d e a l s of y o u t h , m o d i f i e d b y m i d d l e c l a s s aspirations, eventually degenerating into semidetached homogenity. Wholefood yogurt provides the final, media-cultivated, corrupt touchstone for those immersed in being forty whose slogans have dissipated in a spasm of consumerism. N i c k sees himself in M a d d i e , a frayed 'new romantic', and Tyle, who flirts with p u n k , and s e i z e s t h e o p p o r t u n i t y of c o n f l i c t as a justifiable method of m a k i n g the problems of his past physical. B y applying them to another he ignores them in himself. T h e essential t r a g e d y of N i c k is t h e r e a l i s a t i o n a n d personalisation of guilt. N i c k and Tyle are both created a n d crippled by b a s i c a l l y the s a m e c o n c e r n s . T h e y understand each other a n d the nature of their conflict totally. In the last resort they are interchangeable. T h e y are both safe in the rut of the relationship between them. N i c k is the h o r r o r of Tyle as in h i m T y l e c a n see what he will become. E a c h character lingers over their o w n terror in the relentlessly Habitat-inspired set. T h e two aging, sold-out hippies, N i c k and L i b b y , are a b l e to d e v e l o p w i t h i n the restrictions of role while T y l e , the obligatory p u n k y / B o w i e clone, and M a d d i e , the greying n e w r o m a n t i c , s o l i d i t y in r a t h e r c r u d e l y imposed limitations. N i c k muses on the brave new world of the sixties that has passed by and it b e c o m e s apparent that he is no different to any old m a n brooding on his y o u t h . T h e final confrontation with Tyle is both painful a n d funny as both are a m o c k e r y of what they express. David Gill

in Brian Fiel's

"Translations'' Page 10


SF Soc B r u s h i n g the little m e n f r o m his trouser-legs the bulletin a u t h o r o n c e again leaps into a c t i o n w i t h a gleam in his eye, a song in his heart a n d a m o n e k y o n his b a c k . It is te mpti n g to suggest that the m o n k e y in question is N . W i l l s o n , but it ain't so, despite his derogatory references to S F readers in his b o o k review c o l u m n last week I will say no m o r e , believing as I do that to have Riddley Walker a n d completely m i s s e d the point is p u n i s h m e n t e n o u g h . O n e plus point for M r W i l l s o n ; as far as I k n o w he is the only b o o k reviewer not to write his review in the style of the b o o k .

"Let's

try that again,

shall

W h i l e we're o n the subject of b o o k s , S F S o c library meetings are still taking place o n T h u r s d a y lunchtimes in the G r e e n C o m m i t t e e R o o m . M o r e b o o k - b u y i n g will take place s o o n , so if y o u want to influence the c h o i c e s, turn up at a library meeting. C h r i s Priest may be c o m i n g for a chat s o o n . M o r e details will be f o r t h c o m i n g w h e n there are more details.

we?"

A n y o n e w h o missed the C z e c h o s l o v a k i a n S F film Tomorrow I'll be Scalding Myself with Tea m i s s e d a t r e a t . It w e n t o n f r o m a somewhat heavy-handed beginning to b e c o m e the best time-travel film I've ever seen. If y o u ever again get the c h a n c e to see it, do. T h e c o l u m n has o n c e again r u n out of space, but as B o n n e r the S t a c h a s t i c o n c e said " t h a t ' s life". Y o u r s until b o o k reviewers give S F its due. Belnot Phist and the Green Committee

Labour Grants: S t u d e n t grants are going d o w n again next year by an average of ÂŁ5 per w eek, a n d if y o u are u n l u c k y e n o u g h to be one of the 75% of students w h o s e parents do not pay their full c o n t r i b u t i o n y o u will be even worse hit. It r e m a i n s to be s e e n w h e t h e r o u r g l o r i o u s President will pick up his hot-line to K e i t h J o s e p h a n d instruct the government to change its policy. A n y o n e w h o d o u b t s I C U ' s ability to m o u n t any sort of c a m p a i g n against grant cuts while isolated from the rest of the student m o v e m e n t is invited t o get in t o u c h w i t h the L a b o u r C l u b . W e will be s u p p o r t i n g the N U S campaign. Coming Soon: O u r first major s p e a k e r this t e r m will be Neil Kinnock MP, o p p o s i t i o n spokesman o n education, on February 2 in M E 2 2 0 at 1:00pm. A m e m b e r of the L a b o u r P a r t y ' s N a t i o n a l E x e c u t i v e C o m m i t t e e , he has b e e n heavily c r i t i c i s e d by the Bennite faction for his c r u c i a l votes o p p o s i n g the e n d o r s e m e n t of P e t e r T a t c h e l l and s u p p o r t i n g a n enquiry into the militant tendency. N e i l K i n n o c k ' s interest in higher e d u c a t i o n goes b a c k to his day as the student u n i o n president in Cardiff.

Hi!

Y K N O W , IF Y O U V E

Page 10

GOT

Amensi International Group IC's A m n e s t y International G r o u p continues to c a m p a i g n for the implementation of the U N ' s U n i v e r s a l D e c l a r a t i o n of H u m a n Rights, w h i c h h a s b e e n s i g n e d by a l m o s t a l l t h e m e m b e r s t a t e s of t h e U N . T h e p r i n c i p a l m e t h o d remains the letter-writing c a m p a i g n , in w h i c h letters on behalf of a p e r s o n i m p r i s o n e d for non-violent adherence to his beliefs arrive simultaneously f r o m t h o u s a n d s of A m n e s t y m e m b e r s throughout the w o r l d . M a n y p r i s o n e r s have testified that s u c h a deluge of letters has caused a m a r k e d impr ovemen t in their treatment, a n d often their immediate release. T h e g r o u p ' s a d o p t e d prisoner is a student, F i r m i n A w a d o n of B e n i n , w h o was a r r e s t e d , but not c h a r g e d in 1979 after students h a d f o r m e d their o w n ' A c t i o n G r o u p ' to o p p o s e the g o v e r n m e n t - c o n t r o l l e d b o d y w h i c h until then was their only representation. Enquiries about his legal position are not a n s w e r e d by his g o v e r n m e n t . T h e g r o u p is l o o k i n g into the possibility of obtaining the help of firms w h i c h trade in B e n i n . Before adopting a prisoner Amnesty International c o n d u c t s a n investigation to ascertain whether the p e r s o n is i m p r i s o n e d for his beliefs a n d w h e t h e r he has u s e d or a d v o c a t e d violence. T h e IC group is helping w i t h s u c h a preliminary investigation for a prisoner in S r i L a n k a .

Snooker J u s t a q u i c k w o r d this week to a n n o u n c e the R C S R a g M a g T r i p to C a m b r i d g e o n W e d n e s d a y , J a n u a r y 27, meeting at Beit A r c h at 12:00. T h e r e are m a n y seats still available, a n d the system operating is that seats o n the c o a c h will cost ÂŁ3 per p e r s o n w i t h c a s h b a c k d e p e n d i n g o n sales of R a g M a g s . T h u s y o u c a n have a c h e a p trip to see a n y pals in C a m b r i d g e , a free trip by selling lots of R a g M a g s , or a c o m b i n a t i o n of b o t h . Refunds will be of the o r d e r of ÂŁ1 for 20 R a g M a g s s o l d , a n d c o n s i d e r i n g the vast hordes of s u c k e r s , sorry s tu de n ts , available, sales of 100 or m o r e are possible. Please give your names to y o u r soc reps as s o o n as possible if y o u want to go.

A H E A D A C H E ....

B o t h the h a n d i c a p and o p e n t o u r n a m e n t s are well u n d e r way n o w , a n d the deadline for first r o u n d m a t c h e s to be c o m p l e t e d has been set at J a n u a r y 29. If y o u haven't played yet, put a notice u p o n one of the b o a r d s in the s n o o k e r r o o m (where the d r a w s for each tournament are) for y o u r o p p o n e n t listing the times you c a n play. If matches haven't been c o m p l e t e d by the date, the winner will be decided by c h o s i n g the p e r s o n w h o has made most effort to play the game. T h e B table will be set aside f o r m a t c h p l a y o n l y o n T u e s d a y 26 a n d T h u r s d a y 28 J a n u a r y , a n d y o u c a n n o w b o o k two hour slots (at any time) to play matches. Best of luck to e v e r y o n e , but w a t c h out for nosebleed specialist J e n n i n g s .


Bookshop News I hope y o u all read the letter, re R e c o m m e n d e d B o o k s (letters' page), if a n y tutor r e c o m m e n d s a specific title, a n d it is not in s t o c k, tell me! Publications from the "International L a b o u r Office" are o n display in our W i n d o w , if y o u wish to see o n e , the staff will be glad to get it for y o u . W e c a n still get Sir Douglas B a d e r to sign copies of his biography " F l y i n g C o l o u r s " for people. S o don't be frightened to a s k . L o r d Z u c k e r m a n w i l l be g i v i j j g t h e 6 t h Jubilee L e c t u r e in College o n F e b r u a r y 18. T h e lecture will be titled ' N u c l e ar Illusion a n d Reality' a n d his b o o k of the same title will be o n sale in the B o o k s h o p o n the day of publication, J a n u a r y 28. J o h n W i l e y a n d S o n s (Publishers) will be organising a 'Computer Book M o n t h ' in F e b r u a r y , a n d a large selection of their b o o k s will be o n display in the S h o p during the month.

Consoc N e x t T h u r s d a y , J a n u a r y 28, T i m L i n a c r e , the N a t i o n a l C h a i r m a n of t h e F e d e r a t i o n of C o n s e r v a t i v e S t u d e n t s , will be speaking to C o n s o c . M e e t i n g in the U p p e r L o u n g e (next to the U n i o n Office) at 1:00pm. H e will be talking o n F C S ' s role in liasing with the party, the government a n d relations with N U S . W e regret that this meeting c a n only be o p e n to C o n s e r v a t i v e Society m e m b e r s .

The

Times

Tuesday, Jan 12

runriskof sleeping sickness Scic

Astro-soc Issues Denial A s p o k e s m a n said yesterday: " O n behalf of the A s t r o s o c c o m m i t t e e I w o u l d like to d e n y categorically the allegations in T u e s d a y ' s Times. T h e r e is absolutely n o cause for w o r r y by any of o u r m e m b e r s , we have never had even one m e m b e r asleep d u r i n g any of o u r lectures. W e feel this was irresponsible of the Times a n d will cause needless anxiety for

A t last, Badgesoc is ready, organised a n d raring to g o . 2 , 0 0 0 b a d g e b i t s a r e a r r i v i n g t h i s W e d n e s d a y to keep us going for a m o n t h or two. After last t e r m ' s X m a s B o n f i r e a n d Badge sale, well over £60 is in the c a n , all going to charity. W e still need s o m e o n e , however, willing to r e t u r n the wire bin from Beit Q u a d back to H y d e P a r k . F r o m now on Badgesoc meets every M o n d a y at 12:45pm in the L o u n g e above Southside B a r . B u y badgebits, en r ol, get new ideas for stunningly original badges, have a "pie & a pint", discuss pressing questions s u c h as: should we give the money we collected to Rag or to T W S ? A l l these a n d more, M o n d a y s , 12:45pm, S o u t h s i d e . D o n ' t forget, to join u p , send 50p t o L e e M e r c e r c / o M e c h E n g or c o m e to a meeting. countless thousands of astronomers every where. It w o u l d appear that there have been two or three cases in the N o r t h A m e r i c a n continent, a n d n o w it has been blown out of all p r o p o r t i o n b y this a r t i c l e . " T h e r e will be a n observing meeting next W e d n e s d a y at 3:30pm in the " W a v e - g u i d e " in the P h y s i c s B u i l d i n g , w i t h a d v i c e o n a s t r o n o m i c a l photography, a n d the o p p o r tunity to use these techniques afterwards (weather permitting, of course!). T h e following lectures have already been arranged for this term:

Tues Feb 9: P r of J T a y l o r asking " C a n we unify gravity With the other forces of nature? T u e s Feb 23: D r J . M . I r v i n s p e a k i n g o n "Neutron Stars". Tues March 2: D r J o s e p h speaking o n " I R A S " . Tues March 9: D r Raine F R S speaking o n " T h e S u p e r s t r u c t u r e s of the U n i v e r s e " . Thurs March 18: D r R . L . F . B o y d F R S speaking o n " T h e S o l a r A t m o s p h e r e " . Tues March 23: D r I s h a m s p e a k i n g o n "Quantum Gravity". A l l t h e s e l e c t u r e s w i l l b e at 6 : 3 0 p m i n P h y s i c s L e c t u r e T h e a t r e 2. FELIX, January

SIXES

(Sunday, M a r c h 14th, 1982 at H a r l i n g t o n BEER PRIZES

Badgesoc

H o w d y folks! Firstly, thanks to all those w h o c a m e to the A S T M S talk last week; a n d also to the E d i t o r — h i s inclusion of all our p u b l i c i t y made the event m o r e successful than some past talks! • O u r next major event has wider than usual appeal: unless the M i n e r s (not R S M ! ) strike, Ian R o s s will tell all about life as B B C Industrial C o r r e s p o n d e n t o n F r i d a y , J a n u a r y 29 at 12:50pm in C h e m E n g Theatre 1. W a t c h out for h i m o n T V in the meantime! P l u s . . . . T o d a y at 1:00pm is o u r C o m m i t t e e M e e t i n g in C h e m E n g C o n c o u r s e : all officers, vice-officers a n d interested parties please note.

Lesley xx

GUILDS SOCCER

Ents

S o we're off to a flying start to t e r m 2, with the party tonight featuring W a l t e r Mitty's Little W h i t e L i e s ! H a v e y o u bought your ticket yet? It's another 25p o n the d o o r so the Ents R o o m or the U n i o n Office w o u l d be useful ports of call to fill that deficiency. B u t that's not all! N e x t F r i d a y sees o u r H a r d R o c k soiree with New Titles O v e r k i l l a n d B l u e M a x providing the culture. K i n g Royal-John Quigley, P a n , £1.95 It's only £1 per ticket so we e x p e c t to see y o u The Many Coloured L a n d - J u l i a n M a y , P a n , there. T h r o w in s u c h infinitely entertaining £1.75 films (this week Kentucky Fried Movie) a n d Darken S h i p - N i c h o l a s M o n s a r r a t , P a n , £1.50 m o r e surprise events to c o m e a n d y o u c a n see The ( i n b o r n D a v i d S h o g i n , P a n , £1.50 that E n t s is the place to be in 1982. Riddley Wa/fcer-Russell H o b a n , P a n / P i c a d o r , £1.95 Our Cheque is in the P o s t - C h r i s t o p h e r W a r d , P a n , £1.00 Taking the Rough with the Smooth-Dr A n d r e w Stanley, P a n , £1.95.

Industrial

O n l y a s m a l l c o l u m n this week 'cos the weather's been b a d a g a i n . D o n ' t forget: A l l sports reports to have score, date p l a y e d a n d o p p o s i t i o n o n top of page. T h a n k s .

22, 1982

Teams to consist o f at least 5 players f r o m one year i n a d e p a r t m e n t . O n e guest p l a y e r a l l o w e d . If l o r some reason y o u c a n ' t get 5 then c o m e a n d leave a message i n the G u i l d s U n i o n Office for P h i l N i c c o l l s . T h e r e w i l l be a s m a l l c h a r g e for coaches but supporters travel free. ..-

'^Badminton Due to the n o n - a v a i l a b i l i t y o f the G r e a t H a l l , ihere w i l l o n ly be c l u b nights o n M o n d a y s o n the f o l l o w i n g dates: F e b r u a r y 8, M a r c h 1, with an a d d i t i o n a l T h u r s d a y night on F e b r u a r y 11. C l u b nights on F'riday nights w i l l c o n t i n u e as n o r m a l i n O l d C h e m i s t r v .

Bowling I C vs. S o u t h a m p t o n Univ 6-4 Last S a t u r d a y , the I C team g a i n e d a magnificent victory over S o u t h a m p t o n U n i v e r s i t y at t h e C h a r r i n g ! o n B o w l , Tolworth. T h e A team (Cook, H a r r i s o n , Hooper, M a n , M c M u t l a n ) m a s h e d the o p p o s i t i o n i n the first game w i t h D i c k H o o p e r scoring 209. T h e y followed this up with another c o m p r e h e n s i v e w i n i n the second game but the t h i r d was a m u c h m o r e e x c i t i n g affair w i t h A n d y M c M u l l a n scoring 17 i n the last frame to w i n the game b y 2 pins a n d the match overall. T h e B team ( M o y e , Short, S m i t h , T h o n g , Wells) performed well against strong o p p o s i t i o n b u t o n l y m a n a g e d to w i n one game. H o w e v e r , i n the m a t c h o v e r a l l this game p r o v e d to be v i t a l . T h e real heroes ol the d a y were the C t e a m ( D a l e , D a v i s , G r i m w o o d , Q u i n n , Stanley) w h o w o n a l l their games, so b e c o m i n g the lirst I C C team to w i n for ten years. T h e highlight of the m a t c h was the 182 scored b y A n d y D a v i s i n the second game ( u n h e a r d o f by a C t e a m player) w h i c h together w i t h excellent, w e l l above average performances by a l l his team-mates gave a total of 733, b e a t i n g both I C a n d S o u t h a m p t o n B t e a m scores a n d b e c o m i n g one of the best scores by a C t e a m i n this year's n a t i o n a l student league. T h e ladies m a t c h was forfeited by I C as o n l y M a r i e C h e o n g t u r n e d u p but her m o r a l support was m u c h a p p r e c i a t e d by a l l . N e x t m a t c h is t o m o r r o w ( J a n 23) against Brunei University al T o l w o r t h , roll-off 2:00pm. Page 11


Southside Penthouse Problem N o t a w o r d f r o m the Southside W a r d e n s , although I a m informed that D r Jowitt thinks I'm just " J o w i t t b a s h i n g " . If he really considers the matter so childishly, I c a n see we'll never r e a c h a satisfactory solution. T h i s matter will not just disappear. N i c k M o r t o n has suggested that the c u r r e n t residents s h o u l d ignore the condition that they s h o u l d gain a c c e s s from the T i z a r d gallery level. Victorian Night A n advert in E x e c N e w s for the opening of the r e - v a m p e d bar in S o u t h s i d e c a r r i e s an unfortunate e r r o r . T h e date of the V i c t o r i a n N i g h t i s Thursday, January 28 a n d n o t T h u r s d a y , J a n u a r y 27, as stated. N e v e r m i n d , M a r c o , it h a p p e n s to the best of us. Credits A very s p e c i a l t h a n k s to D a v e B r i t t o n , C a r o l i n e , Barne*y, M a r c o , Pallab, J o n , Soheel, J a m e s D e e n y , Peter, J e z a n d M o (on I C Radio , T u e s d a y s ) w h o stayed up until 4:00am helping me last F r i d a y m o r n i n g . Y o u ' r e all heroes. T h i s week t h a n k s to M a r t i n , S o h e e l , Pallab, S t e v e , Peter, J . M a r t i n , E d d i e , J o n , J a m e s , L e s l e y , D a v e , J e z , M o , M a z a n d Ian.

Shock Treatment. Certificate A. Directed by Jim Sharman. Starring Jessica Harper, Cliff de Young, Richard O'Brien, Barry Humphries. M a n y e x p e c t e d Rocky Horror Show 2, but rather than a mere re-work of all too familiar material, writer R i c h a r d O ' B r i e n has applied his talents to the strange w o r l d of television for his latest m u s i c al c o m e d y p r o d u c t i o n Shock Treatment. B r a d a n d J a n e t survive to b e c o m e part of the c o m m u n i t y of D e n t o n , where television is so dominant that the whole town is d e p i c t e d as a T V studio w h o se inhabitants are players in soap operas a n d quiz games. T h i s brilliant d e v i c e a l l o w s d i r c t o r J i m S h a r m a n to i n t r o d u c e a v a r i e t y of c h a r a c t e r s a n d situations in rapid s u c c e s s i o n . B r a d a n d Janet fall victim to the talents of

Bert S c h n i c k (Barry H u m p h r i e s ) , the blind h o s t of a m a r r i a g e c o u n s e l l i n g s h o w . H e c o n v i n c e s Janet to send B r a d for treatment in D e n t o n v a l e , a m e d i c a l s e r i e s r u n b y the suspect d u o C o s m o and N a t i o n M c K i n l e y . M e a n w h i l e , u n k n o w n to both lovers, evil fast food king Farley Flavors is plotting to make Janet a star a n d steal her from B r a d to settle an old s c o r e . J e s s i c a H a r p e r is well cast as Janet (as is the a m a z i n g B a r r y H u m p h r i e s as S c h n i c k ) . She proves that she has a fine voice in the musical n u m b e r s a n d also manages to always look entirely c o n v i n c i n g . T h e film m o v e s at a rapid pace w h i c h can be confusing, but the variety of i m a g e s a n d the c a t c h y l y r i c s h o l ds the attention well. A s a musical it is not perfect, but it displays an inventiveness a n d wit w h i c h is all too rare nowadays. Mark Smith

S i n c e sabbatical elections will s o o n be here, I felt that n o w w o u l d be a g o o d time to advise a n y p o t e n t i a l c a n d i d a t e s of t h e q u a l i t i e s needed in a successful U n i o n E x e c . ( F E L I X E d i t o r , a m o r e delicate issue altogether, will be r e s e r v e d for a later puzzle.) A s far as his job is c o n c e r n e d , a n E x e c m e m b e r s h o u l d be dedicated, enthusiastic and versatile. P e r s o n a l qualities are essential too: c h e e r f u l n e s s , friendliness a n d wit are all i m p o r t a n t qualities in a U n i o n Officer. INo one c o u l d consider himself suitable for an E x e c p o s t unless he was blessed with at least two of the industrious qualities I have m e n t i o n e d , and at least two of the p e r s o n a l qualities. In fact, for a balanced E x e c , each feature s h o u l d be found in just two of the three m e m b e r s . T h e President, of c o u r s e , needs to be witty. T h e D e p u t y P r e s i d e n t , w h o must be versatile, s h o u l d be enthusiastic or witty, but not both. A n d the E x e c s h o u l d not contain more than one p e r s o n w h o is both dedicated a n d witty, n o r s h o u l d there be more than one m e m b e r w h o is cheerful a n d enthusiastic. W h a t qualities are required in the H o n S e c ? Solutions, comments, criticisms to me at the FELIX Office, please. There is a prize of ÂŁ5 (donated by Mend-aBike) for the correct entry randomly selected at 1:00pm on Wednesday. FELIX Consort

is published

Last Week's Solution M c O a t u p ' s caber has four perforations, and there are three possible arrangements for t h e m along the length of the pole: 1+1+4+4+3 or 1+3+1+6+2 or 1+5+3+2+2. O f the thirteen people w h o found one or m o r e of these, A . S h i e k h , P h y s i c s 2, is the l u c k y winner. A n d now, the rest of the solutions to the Christmas puzzles.

T w o solutions are s h o w n i n the diagram. Taking Notes

Call My Bluff a n g e k k o k , m o n o t r o c h , m o n o s t i c h , paneity, giaour, st, gju a n d euoi are all in C h a m b e r s ' D i c t i o n a r y , a n d are perfectly acceptable in Scrabble. E u o i , st a n d gju are even useful o n o c c a s i o n . Posteeen is in the dictionary, a n d I s u p p o s e that m a k e s it permissible, even though it is a m i s p r i n t ; it s h o u l d r e a d ' p o s t e e n ' . N u n a t a k k r is another misprint (should be ' n u n a t a k k e r ' ) b u t t h i s o n e is d e f i n i t e l y disallowed, since it is m a r k e d as S w e d i s h . F i n a l l y , ' s w e d e ' is n o t a l l o w e d s i n c e ,

by the Editor for and on behalf of the Imperial

Road, London

r a t h e r s u r p r i s i n g l y , it d o e s n o t a p p e a r i n C h a m b e r s without a capital letter. Marches

College

SW7 2BB (589-5111 ext 1048 int 2881) Copyright

Union Publications FELIX

1982.

Board,

Editor:

W r i t i n g ' U ' for 'up', ' D ' for ' d o w n ' , etc.,the following solution takes 83 moves. M o v e each p i e c e as far as p o s s i b l e in t h e d i r e c t i o n indicated, e x c e p t where I have said otherwise. U U , left timp U , R D L L , timp U one unit, L D R (UL) U R (LD) D R R U U R R D (DR) R R D L L U U R D R U L U (RU) L D D R D L (UL) U U R ( R D ) D ( D R ) R U L D D L , M u s i c stands U U , R, L o w e r timp D , R D L L L L U R D D R U (LU) U L L D R R U (UL) L T h i s solution was devised by Zar A m r o l i a a n d is shorter by about forty moves than a n y t h i n g I h a d b e e n a b l e to d e v i s e . D r . C o n w a y , w h o s h o w e d me the p u z z l e , also s h o w e d me an even harder one along the same lines; I'm saving it for the next time s o m e o n e complains that the puzzles are too easy.

and is printed by the Union Print Unit,

M A Smith,

Advertising

Manager:

S M

Prince Giblin.


exec

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4a Ma^tir NS? Lawsoh-r P r i v a t e S e c r e t a r y to HRH T h e P r i n c e s s A n n e , M r s M a r k Phillips

Nicholas

Morton

Esq


IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION GENERAL MEETING TO

BE HELD ON 26TH JANUARY, 1982 IN THE GREAT HALL AT 1,OOPM.

DEPUTY PRESIDENT'S REPORT.

A G E N D A Just a b r i e f 1.

Minutes of t h e L a s t Arising

from t h e Minutes

2.

Matters

3.

President's

4.

Deputy P r e s i d e n t ' s B u s i n e s s .

Business.

5.

Honorary S e c r e t a r y ' s

6.

CCU R e p o r t s .

7.

Other O f f i c e r s '

8.

By-Law Changes.

9.

list

of t h i n g s I've spent money on:

£2635 Piano £701 C o n c e r t H a l l D r e s s i n g Rooms £135 Lower Lounge T a b l e s £20 Garage f o r P i a n o £550 Locks and Keys £500 JCR F u r n i t u r e £ 18 Dinner with J i l l approx. £30 Curries etc.

Meeting.

Business.

Reports. Still

Motions.

t o come:Gym F l o o r and L o c k e r s S o u t h s i d e Lounge Carpet Noticeboards Union Gents T o i l e t s

Don't worry, I w i l l

- Showers!

not l e t you down:

HONORARY SECRETARY'S REPORT. The PRESIDENT'S REPORT• QEC. The r e v i s e d d r a f t Staternent o f I n t e n t which met w i t h g e n e r a l a p p r o v a l a t t h e Emergency UGM was passed by our Board o f Governors. However, i t was r e j e c t e d by Q E C s e q u i v a l e n t body. Negotiations are continuing. 1

I have w r i t t e n t o t h e V i c e - C h a n c e l l o r o f the. U n i v e r s i t y s e e k i n g a s s u r a n c e s on o v e r a l l s t u d e n t numbers e t c . Overseas Students

Fees.

We have been g i v e n an i d e a l o p p o r t u n i t y t o p u b l i c i s e t h e f i n a n c i a l problems f a c e d by o v e r s e a s s t u d e n t s . The Union i s making a h a l f - h o u r TV programme f o r BBC 2's Open Door s e r i e s , I have s e t up a s m a l l committee t o c o - o r d i n a t e p r o d u c t i o n but would anybody who f e e l s they have something u s e f u l t o o f f e r towards t h e programme p l e a s e s e e me. Refectories. The H o i l a n d C l u b R e f e c t o r y o p e r a t i o n has been c l o s e d down. I am i n t e r e s t e d t o know whether o r not t h e H o l l a n d C l u b w i l l take on t h e i r own c a t e r i n g . The h o u r s o f s e r v i c e i n many r e f e c t o r i e s have changed and t h e s e have been r e p o r t e d i n F e l i x .

B l u e Book.

The B l u e Book c o n t a i n s t h e C o n s t i t u t i o n s and S t a n d i n g O r d e r s o f t h e Union Committees and a l s o t h e Union By-Laws. These a r e always b e i n g changed from year t o year and t h e Book needs t o be r e g u l a r l y updated. In t h e p a s t t h e Book was p u b l i s h e d each y e a r and had t o by typed out from s c r a t c h on s t e n c i l s and g e s t e t n e r e d . I am i n t h e p r o c e s s o f t r y i n g t o get t h e Book put on a word p r o c e s s o r which would make a l t e r a t i o n s much s i m p l e r and updated c o p i e s c o u l d be r u n o f f a t any time. Word p r o c e s s o r f a c i l i t i e s a r e a v a i l a b l e i n C o l l e g e b u t t h e r e a r e no s t a f f a v a i l a b l e t o do t h e a c t u a l work o f t y p i n g t h e Book i n . I f t h e r e i s anyone i n t e r e s t e d i n l e a r n i n g how t o use a word p r o c e s s o r a t a c o s t o f a few hours t y p i n g w i l l they p l e a s e c o n t a c t me i n t h e Union O f f i c e . I n t e r n a t i o n a l Conference

o f Students

of Technology.

T h i s y e a r s INCOST was due t o be h e l d i n P o l a n d and p l a n s were s t i l l g o i n g ahead up u n t i l t h e onset o f m a r t i a l law. S i n c e then no news has been heard and i t seems u n l i k e l y now t h a t t h e c o n f e r e n c e w i l l be h e l d t h e r e . A l t e r n a t i v e p l a n s a r e g o i n g ahead t o t r y and s e t up t h e c o n f e r e n c e i n Sweden. We wi11 be s e n d i n g a d e l e g a t i o n o f s t u d e n t s whereever t h e venue. So anyone who wants t o go s h o u l d come and see me and I ' l l g i v e them f u r t h e r i n f o r m a t i o n .

The S o u t h s i d e R e f e c t o r y i s t o move d o w n s t a i r s and a t t h e time o f w r i t i n g work i s under way t o improve t h e Lower Refectory. T h i s move w i l l put t h e o u t l e t n e a r e r t h e k i t c h e n and s h o u l d improve t h e q u a l i t y o f t h e f o o d . The s t y l e o f s e r v i c e i n t h e r e f e c t o r i e s has changed. The B u t t e r y has a c o l d meat and s a l a d b a r and a g r e a t l y i n c r e a s e d range o f sandwiches. The i n n o v a t i o n s were l a r g e l y i n respons e t o t h e s u r v e y so we hope they w i l l prove popular. S o u t h s ] d e s e r v i c e s h o u l d a l s o change o f f e r i n g both " f a s t f o o d " and "meat and two veg" type meal. The Union and S h e r f i e , I d Main w i l l not change g r e a t l y but we a r e h o p i n g f o r an improvemeut i n q u a l i t y , agai n i n response t o s u r v e y results. I f any o f t h e s e changes do not take p l a c e , l e t me o r Marco know e i t h e r d i r e c t l y o r through t h e Suggest i o n s and C o m p l a i n t s box. We s t i l l r e l y on s t u d e n t feed-back BARS. A major r e f u r b i s h m e n t o f the b a r c o u n t e r a r e a i n S o u t h s i d e i s t a k i n g p l a c e . The o p e r a t i o n i s b e i n g f i n a n c e d through brewery l o a n s . Most o f t h e work s h o u l d have been done ove r t h e v a c a t i o n - t h e f i t t i n g company u s i n g t h e excuse o f bad weather f o r not d o i n g so. I c a n o n l y a p o l o g i s e f o r any i n c o n v e n i e n c e caused and hope t h a t t h e end r e s u l t i s worthwhile .

BY-LAW CHANGES BY-LAW CHANGE. Proposed by: Seconded by: By-Law 14. I n s e r t c ) and r e l e t t e r : An Emergency G e n e r a l Meeting s h a l l be c a l l e d by t h e P r e s i d e n t as he sees f i t o r on r e c e i p t by him o f a. p e t i t i o n s i g n e d by not l e s s than 150 f u l l members. In t h e l a t t e r case t h e m e e t i n g s h a l l be h e l d w i t h i n t h r e e weeks o f r e c e i p t of t h e p e t i t i o n . A l l such meetirigs s h a l l r e q u i r e o n l y seven days n o t i c e and s h a l l d i s c u s s o n l y t h e emergency m o t i o n ( s ) , d e t a i l s o f which s h a l l be p o s t e d on a l l Union N o t i c e b o a r d s .

E l e c t i o n s (Ho, Ho!) It i s t r a d i t i o n a l f o r t h e P r e s i d e n t at t h i s time o f year t o o f f e r t o d i s c u s s t h e j o b w i t h p e o p l e f o o l enough t o want t o Ho t h e j o b next y e a r . So, budding hacks out t h e r e , s e e me i f you a r e c o n s i d e r i n g s t a n d i n g . The j o b i s open t o any member o f t h e U n i o n so g i v e t h e m a t t e r some thought. Marco has d e t a i l s o f t h e a c t u a l e l e c t i o n p r o c e d u r e .

N. Morton. M. Ledwold.

BY-LAW CHANGE. 4. a)

Delete

'ULU R e p r e s e n t a t i v e ' .

5. c)

Delete

'ULU R e p r e s e n t a t i v e ' .


MOTIONS

MOTION ON

by: by:

Not

2.

To campaign f o r the b e l i e f s

ICU

Instructs:

t o go on

'strike'. above.

Martin Taylor N i c k Morton.

ICU

Notes:

1.

That the government p l a n s t o i n c r e a s e s t u d e n t g r a n t s o n l y 4% next year, to ÂŁ1900 f o r s t u d e n t s i n London 1 i v i n g away from home.

2.

That i n a d d i t i o n the p a r e n t a l c o n t r i b u t i o n s w i l l not be a d j u s t e d t o take account o f i n f l a t i o n , meaning a l a r g e i n c r e a s e i n the amount p a r e n t s w i l l be e x p e c t e d t o c o n t r i b u t e and t a k i n g many more p a r e n t s o v e r the earnings l i m i t f o r the f i r s t time.

3.

Resolves:

1.

The P r e s i d e n t and E.A.O, to take every o p p o r t u n i t y t o f u r t h e r the b e l i e f s above, i n c o n j u n c t i o n w i t h the U n i v e r s i t y of London Union and o t h e r Student Unions.

GRANTS. Proposed Seconded

ICU

by

That about 75% of s t u d e n t s who s h o u l d r e c e i v e a p a r e n t a l c o n t r i b u t i o n do not r e c e i v e the f u l l amount from t h e i r p a r e n t s and c o n s e q u e n t l y have t o l i v e on l e s s than the f u l l grant.

NEXT TO BE HELD ON IN THE

That i d e a l l y a l l s t u d e n t s s h o u l d r e c e i v e a f u l l g r a n t , and t h a t the government s h o u l d be moving i n the d i r e c t i o n of r e d u c i n g p a r e n t a l c o n t r i b u t i o n s r a t h e r than i n c r e a s i n g them.

2.

That an i n c r e a s e of o n l y 4% would anyway t o t a l l y m a i n t a i n the v a l u e of the g r a n t .

fail

4TH

MARCH,

GREAT HALL AT

1982

1.00PM.

DEADLINE FOR MOTIONS TO APPEAR IN FELIX 12.30 THURSDAY 18TH FEBRUARY.

ICU B e l i e v e s : 1.

UGM

to

T h u r s 27th J a n To celebrate the opening of the newstyle Southside Bar Reduced price ale Bar snacks Live entertainment IC Radio Roadshow Dress: Victorian


he would retort in the negative with some vehemence. Yet look at what Muhammed (peace be upon him), born in 570AD was saying under the inspiration of God:

ISLAMIC W E E K The Creator

and His Creation

Theory It has only been In the last hundred or so years that scientists have been able to theorise with any authority about the origins of the earth and life on It. That Is, In effect, only "yesterday", If the history of mankind Is thought of as having spanned a single year. A n d their d i s c o v e r i e s have revolutionized Western man's conceptions—so that he is no longer in awe of the untamed natural world around him, and is even sceptical as to existence of a Supreme Being. Thus he considers it unnecessary to submit himself to the will of God (except in a most limited and perfunctory way on a Sunday). For all the earth's greatest mysteries have been reduced by the scientists to a material—rational cause and effect w h i c h neutralizes the necessity to submit oneself in fear and hope to any divinity. Reasoning We Muslims believe, and can prove using the valued "reasoning" employed by the sciences, that Western man's complacency with regard to the S u p r e m e Being, G o d , is based upon a complete misinterpretation of the facts about the universe which have been discovered. Furthermore, it is due to the unwarranted egoism which resulted from the advances in scientific knowledge. If one were to ask a scientist to opine about how our universe, our earth and the life upon it c a m e into b e i n g ; his answer would be that the consensus of opinion has it as follows: Billion BC "Billions of years ago our universe was a single piece of matter, there was then a Big Bang in the centre of this lump: the result of which was that a lot of energy was produced. This coagulated into the stars, which then themselves gave birth to the heavier elements. Thus our solar system came into being as well as other galaxies. S i n c e there was no r e s i s t a n c e in s p a c e to that primordial momentum generated by the explosion, the stars and the planets remained in regular orbits." Note the materialist cause and effect that excludes the notion of Supreme Being or Creator or God. Biology Similarly, if we were to ask the biologists about the origins of life on earth, he would reply that the latest scientific techniques have enabled scientists to hypothesise with some authority that all life evolved from water. T h u s (to> p r e c i s the most c o n s i s t a n t l y expounded theory): In the young p r i m e v a l a t m o s p h e r e of the earth there were a lot of elements like carbon, oxygen and nitrogen

1

f l o a t i n g a b o u t a l o n g with a tremendous amount of electrical activity. It is thought that the combination of these with the "Primeval Soup" lying around the rocks and oceans of the young earth, produced iife; the primeval matter in the sea generating the protoplasm out of which came the amoeba and then all living things. Both theories: of the origin of the universe and origin of life on the earth are regarded as scientific "fact" in the West, and indeed is taught as such in schools. The biblical account of creation in Genesis is considered a myth and the onus is on the believers in God to prove the rationality of their faith—something they have hitherto failed to do. In Islam there is no dichotomy between faith and reason; thus to us it seems that the scientists of the West have not in the past hundred or so years discovered anything new about the universe that undermines a belief in God, in fact it is just the opposite; they have at this late stage merely confirmed what God revealed of his creation to mankind 1400 years ago. How? Well, if one was to ask the astronomers who know so much about the universe's origins whether it would have been possible for an illiterate Arab living over 1400 years ago in the A r a b i a n D e s e r t to know his scientific facts about the universe,

I S L A M I C

W E E K O F

"Do not the Unbelievers (aetheists and agnostics) see, That the Heavens and the Earth Were joined together (as one unit of creation) Before we clove them asunder." (from the Koran/the Prophets) and: "And it is He (God) who created, the Night and the Day, the Sun and the Moon All move along; each in its orbit." (from Koran/The Prophets) And again, with regard to the origins of life on the earth, the biologists whose theories about the origins of life are regarded as fact, would not credit it that someone living over 1400 years ago would know what he knows only now; yet M u h a m m e d ( u p o n whom be peace) said under the inspiration of God: "And We made from water Every living thing Will they then not believe?" (Koran/Prophets) and: " O Mankind If you are in doubt concerning the Resurrection, We created you from dust then from a drop of seed then from a clot then from a iittle lump of flesh, shapely and shapeless that we may make it clear for you And We cause what We will to remain In the womb for an appointed time." (Koran/The Pilgrimage)

P R O G R A M M E

E V E N T S

M o n d a y , J a n u a r y 25 Introductory Talk on Islam, 6:00pm, ME542. • ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••Ik-

T u e s d a y , J a n u a r y 26 T h e Brandt Report: A n Islamic Perspective, 1:15,

542.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••it* W e d n e s d a y , J a n u a r y 27 Bookstall, J C R , 1:00-2:30pm.

T h u r s d a y , J a n u a r y 28 E n g l i s h Muslims, 1:15pm, ME542

Friday, J a n u a r y 29 Films: A f g h a n i s t a n and Eritrea, 6:00pm,

ME542.

Thus we can see that scientists, have at this late stage merely confirmed what God revealed of his creation to man all those 1400 years ago. T h u s there is no warrant for the scepticism about a divinity brought on in the West by these scientific theories rather than the logical conclusion to be drawn from the theories is that Author and Prime Mover of the Big Bang and the Water from which we came into being is worthy of our submission and praise. For otherwise we would have to accept the preposterous implications of the scientists' theories: that random Chance Operation was the lynchpin that instigated our universe. "Life" whatever your opinion of it, must be self-replicating—be able to reproduce itself over and , over again. DNA is the basis of life and is an incredibly complicated structure, a double helix with millions of atoms arranged in a special code of four letters. C o n s i d e r the c o m p l e x i t i e s of DNA's self-replication — unwinding, its intricate form to divide into two seperate individuals which then each find exact replicas to attach themselves to in what has been called a "zipping up" operation. This being possible because there was a yet more i n f i n i t e s i m a l l y intricate process at work, instigated by the catalyst enzymes acting as a "biomachine" for the DNA. So intricate and infinitely complex are the forces at the basis of life—yet we are asked this was the product of a random process, without external inspiration! It is not an exaggeration to say that it is like being asked to accept that a tornado blowing through a scrapyard could prod u c e a t y p e w r i t e r in w h o s e carriage was a full instruction sheet describing how to make another typewriter. And not only that but the tornado produced all the tools essential to make that typewriter!! Surely this is too improbable and has to be dismissed. Then there is the Sir Fred Hoyle theory that evolution c o m m e n c e d in deep s p a c e and then genes showered onto the earth mixed with the primeval soup to start life. Sir Fred claims that a super intelligent c o m p u t e r in deep space planning, executing and controlling all life. If that is so who designed and made that computer in deep space. For a Muslim the answer is easy, it is " G o d there is no God but He, the living, the self-subsisting eternal. No slumber can cease Him nor sleep. His are all things in the Heavens and the Earth. None can intercede in His presence except as He wills. H e knows what appears to His creatures in the past, present and future. None can encompass. His knowledge except as He wills. His throne does extend over the Heavens and the Earth and He feels no fatigue in g u a r d i n g and p r e serving it, for He is the most High, the Supreme in Glory. Al-Koran (ll;255)


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