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A HAPPY EASTER F R O M FELIX T H E NEWSPAPER O F IMPERIAL C O L L E G E U N I O N

Friday 21st March 1980

Issue Number 549

OPPOSITION T O B O A T C L U B T O U R O p p o s i t i o n is c o n t i n u i n g against the B o a t C l u b T o u r . F E L I X w a s i n its final stages of production w h e n further developments o c c u r r e d . O n this front w e o u t l i n e the b a c k g r o u n d t o the d i s c u s s i o n a n d i n c l u d e a letter f r o m t h e I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e B o a t C l u b C a p t a i n , S t e v e W e b b . A n o p e n letter w r i t t e n b y the A n t i - A p a r t h e i d G r o u p at I C is p r i n t e d o n page 2. A t last T h u r s d a y ' s R e s u l t s U G M a m o t i o n w a s d i s c u s s e d r e l ati n g to the B o a t C l u b t o u r of S o u t h A f r i c a . T h e m e e t i n g t u r n e d i n t o a heated discussion with two amendments b e i n g p r o p o s e d t o the o r i g i n a l m o t i o n . H o w e v e r q u o r u m w a s c a l l e d before the v o t e c o u l d be t a k e n o n the m a i n m o t i o n . L a s t T u e s d a y a n initial m e e t i n g of t h e A n t i - A p a r t h e i d G r o u p at I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e d i s c u s s e d the p r e s e n t s i t u a t i o n of I C B o a t C l u b rowing in S o u t h Africa. They decided that the following a c t i o n s h o u l d be t a k e n : T h e U n i o n s of colleges a n d u n i v e r s i t i e s with major rowing clubs have been c o n t a c t e d i n f o r m i n g t h e m of I C B o a t C l u b ' s pr opos e d trip a n d asking t h e m to boycott fixtures w i t h I C B C . A l l colleges a n d universities with B o a t C l u b s are t o be c o n t a c t e d a s k i n g t h e m t o d e m a n d the w i t h d r a w a l of I C B C f r o m all rowing events. T h e A R A (Amateur Rowing Association) is t o be c o n t a c t e d , d e m a n d i n g the e x p u l s i o n of I C B C - the c l u b w o u l d n o longer be able t o e n t e r a n y e v e n t s s i n c e all are A R A f i x t u r e s . It w a s p r o p o s e d t o p r e s e n t a p e t i t i o n , c o n t a i n i n g the n a m e s of p e o p l e o p p o s e d t o I C B C r o w i n g i n S o u t h A f r i c a t o the A C C meeting held yesterday evening.

75 T R O L L E Y S A T I C A s a result of a visit from the assistant Manager of Mssrs Waitrose Store o n Friday 14th M a r c h some 75 or more of their trolleys which were scattered around the college were collected and restored to the company. T h e r e may be others still on the campus and the Chief Security Officer, M r A D D a w s o n , has advised that it would be in the interest of the college to publicise this matter with a view of encouraging persons to return them. (continued on back page)

Y e s t e r d a y a m e e t i n g w a s o r g a n i s e d by the n e w l y f o r m e d A n t i - A p a r t h e i d G r o u p at IC. T h e speaker was S a m Ramsamy C h a i r m a n of t h e S o u t h A f r i c a n N o n - R a c i a l Olympic Committee (SAN-ROC). He s p o k e o n the p o s i t i o n of s p o r t in S o u t h Africa a n d pointyed out that r a c i a l i n t e g r a t i o n i n s p o r t in S . A . h as o n l y t a k e n p l a c e at a n i n t e r n a t i o n a l level, n o t at c l u b level. H e s a i d that this h as b e e n s i m p l y a result of S . A f r i c a n t e a m s b e i n g e x p e l l e d from international competition in many s p o r t s , w h i c h w a s d a m a g i n g t o the w h i t e p o p u l a t i o n of S . A f r i c a . A t t h e e n d of the m e e t i n g , a v o t e w a s t a k e n o n t h e i s s u i n g of a p r e s s s t a t e m e n t t o the student a n d national press, outlining the s i t u a t i o n , a n d c a l l i n g for a b o y c o t t of Imperial C o l l e g e B o a t C l u b . T h i s p r o p o s a l w a s a c c e p t e d b y the m e e t i n g . T h o s e present included several members of I C B o a t C l u b w h o h a d b e e n i n v i t e d t o a t t e n d b y the A n t i - A p a r t h e i d G r o u p .

T h e letter f r o m t h e I C B o a t C l u b C a p t a i n , Steve W e b b : I feel a lot h as b e e n s a i d a b o u t the B o a t Club. T o u r t o S o u t h A f r i c a . S o it is a b o u t time the r e c o r d w a s set s t r a i g h t , s i n c e the opponents seem t o t h r o w a lot of statements a n d untruths around. 1) T h e B o a t C l u b w a s i n v i t e d t o S o u t h A f r i c a p u r e l y d u e t o its s u c c e s s e s o v e r t h e last few y e a r s . H e n l e y w i n n e r s 1978, s e m i finalists 1979 a n d S o u t h e r n U n i v e r s i t y w i n n e r s 1973-1980. It is a p e r f o r m a n c e w i t h w h i c h w e at college s h o u l d be jointly p r o u d , h o w often d o y o u h a v e the best college t e a m i n the c o u n t r y ? 2) It h as b e e n c o m p l e t e l y f i n a n c e d f r o m outside sources with no College or Student U n i o n help whatsoever. 3) N o n e of the c r e w , t o m y k n o w l e d g e , s u p p o r t i n a n y w a y the A p a r t h e i d p o l i c y of S o u t h A f r i c a or any other regime. 4) T h a t i n g e n e r a l , p e o p l e d o n o t a p p r o v e (continued on page 3)


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W e like g o i n g o n t h e b o a t o n the river T h a m e s a n d we heard B i g B e n striking 3 o'clock. W e h a d a good time in L o n d o n . W e s a w t h e d u s t y r o a d that h o r s e s ride o n . W e s a w the smallest p o l i c e s t a t i o n . W e l i k e d the m u s e u m a n d e v e r y t h i n g in the m u s e u m . T h a n k y o u for giving u s a v e r y g o o d tea at y o u r u n i v e r s i t y a n d w h e n w e got h o m e w e felt full up , a n d slept a n d w e will l o o k o u t for you o n University Challenge and we want y o u to w i n a n d we want y o u t o k n o w that D i x i e D e a n c a m e t o o u r s c h o o l i n 1911. W i t h love from G l y n n , M a r t i n a n d all the children w h o c a m e to L o n d o n .

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Dear Colin I w o u l d like t o e x p r e s s m y t h a n k s t o all t h o s e w h o v o t e d for m e i n t h e r e c e n t s a b b a t i c a l elections, a n d especially those w h o helped in the campaign, w h o s e n u m b e r s a r e t o o large to mention here. I a m m o s t i n d e b t e d t o (in n o particular order): Val Langmuir Chris Webb Sheila M o r i s o n N i c k Griffin Y o u r s sincerely John Tidy

AN OPEN LETTER Dear Boat Club Member W e are writing to urge y o u t o r e f u se t o g o o n t h e p r o p o s e d B o a t C l u b trip t o S o u t h A f r i c a , a n d t o a r g u e s t r o n g l y against others going. Y o u are no doubt a w a r e that the S o u t h A f r i c a n g o v e r n m e n t a d m i n i s t e r s its c o u n t r y a c c o r d i n g t o the princ i p l e s of a p a r t h e i d . T h e c o n s e q u e n t d e g r a d a t i o n a n d exp l o i t a t i o n of t h e m a j o r i t y of the p o p u l a t i o n m e a n s t h a t it is u r g e n t t h a t t h e r e s t of t h e w o r l d c a m p a i g n s against a n y activities w h i c h m a y be s e e n to condone such policies. The s y s t e m of a p a r t h e i d h a s , itself, brought politics into sport a n d

s o it is c o n s i s t e n t t h a t w e s h o u l d cut all s p o r t i n g links with S o u t h Africa. W e have reluctantly decided that if t h e B o a t C l u b c o m p e t e s in S o u t h A f r i c a , w e shall p u b licise t h e fact a n d urge o t h e r c o l l e g e s in the U K to c a n c e l f i x t u r e s w i t h it. T h i s p r o p o s e d t o u r c a n o n l y be i n t e r p r e t e d as s p i t t i n g in t h e f a c e s of the m a j o r i t y of the S o u t h A f r i c a n people. If y o u w i s h t o c o n t a c t u s p l e a s e s e n d a note to A n d y N i c o l a o u (Elec E n g 3). Y o u r s sincerely The Anti-Apartheid G r o u p A t IC.

W a n t e d : I n f o r m a t i o n as to w h y J o h n P a s s m o r e s h o u l d be s e e n s t e e r i n g a c a r at 3 0 m p h over Vauxhall Bridge without a driving license on a S u n d a y morning.

For Sale: Philips T V , new. £50. Navidi, C C 221-7230.

2

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Dear Colin What surprised me most a b o u t last w e e k ' s U n i o n M e e t i n g w a s not that o v e r a h u n d r e d of the s t u d e n t s p r e s e n t v o t e d t o s u s p e n d a g r o u p of s t u d e n t s f r o m U n i o n m e m b e r s h i p , but that a similar n u m b e r (and p r e s u m a b l y , m a n y not pr esen t) did not care about what those individuals w e r e u p t o a n d w h y the n a m e of Imperia l C o l l e g e w a s b e i n g s o i l e d b y their a c t i o n s . F o r those w h o were not there, let m e e x p l a i n . A n I C t e a m are t o t a k e p a r t in s p o r t i n g f i x t u r e s in a

p o l i c e state ( w h i c h is w h e r e the M o s c o w analogy begins and e n d s ) against t e a m s s e l e c t e d f r o m a r a c i al m i n o r i t y , before racially s e g r e g a t e d a u d i e n c e s . If a n y of the r e a d e r s of F E L I X find n o t h i n g distasteful in this state of affairs a n d n o t h i n g d i s g u s t i n g in the i m p r i s o n m e n t a n d t o r t u r e of t h o s e w h o peacefully o p p o s e the S o u t h A f r i c a n s y s t e m , I find their h u m a n i t y v e r y q u e s t i o n able. Y o u r s i n e x t r e m e disgust Derrick Everett Physics P G

R A G W e l l just a q u i c k w o r d this w e e k , but m a k e s u r e y o u r e a d the letters — y o u are a p p r e c i a t e d ! L a s t F r i d a y ' s p a r t y w a s a s u c c e s s , in that e v e r y o n e w h o w e n t e n j o y e d it, but not e n o u g h people a t t e n d e d — so if y o u m i s s e d a g o o d night it s e r v e s y o u right. M a n y t h a n k s to e v e r y o n e w h o d i d help t h o u g h a n d c o n g r a t u l a t i o n s t o e v e r y o n e w i t h the e n t e r p r i s e ( s o r r y , M r S p o c k ! ) to p r o d u c e s o m e e x c e l l e n t fan cy d r e s s . Y o u m a y think it's all o v e r n o w , but o n the c o n t r a r y the R a g F e t e is l o o m i n g large o n the h o r i z o n . It's o n S a t u r d a y 3 r d M a y a n d w e n e e d lots of e n t h u s i a s t i c g e n e r a l h e l p e r s a n d p e o p l e willing t o r u n stalls. If y o u ' r e i n t e r e s t e d d r o p a n o t e t o m e in the U n i o n O f f i c e , o r c o m e t o o n e of o u r m e e t i n g s . T h e y ' l l be o n the first a n d s e c o n d W e d n e s d a y s of n e x t t e r m at 7:00pm in the I C W A L o u n g e . See you there, Rae. D e a r Rachel, W e would like to thank you so m u c h for the A u d i t o r y T r a i n i n g U n i t p r e s e n t e d to A d a m a n d Benjamin o n Saturday last. This piece of equipment will play a great ' p a r t in t e a c h i n g t h e m to s p e a k more clearly. W e both thank y o u and all the other students concerned in the fund raising activities who helped to raise the money for this Auditory Training Unit. W e would also take this opportunity of thanking all concerned for last S a t u r d a y ' s s u p e r a f t e r n o o n . T h e children thoroughly enjoyed the activities and I know that a lot of hard work went into the planning and preparation of the day, a n d the whole afternoon was a great success. O n c e again our sincerest thanks to all for your support and kindness. Y o u r s sincerely C a r o l and Brian Pike

IC G A M E S The games are planned to take place on Wednesday 23rd April near at West London Stadium Wormwood Scrubs around 2:00pm, with a coach leaving 1:00pm. the Union at

Dear Miss Snee I would like to thank you and your fellow students who organised the Imperial College Rag o n Saturday 8th M a r c h , for all the hard work you did, for the money you have raised and also for the wonderful afternoon you gave the deaf children who attended. It was a joy to see and hear the pleasure they had in tossing the caber and in the games which were so ably demonstrated and played. I think the great secret was in the ratio of students to children and the active and able manner in which you all communicated with them. I know that deaf children all over the country will have good reason to be grateful to the students of Imperial College when they receive the equipment which will have been bought with the money you have raised. Y o u r s sincerely C h a i r m a n of the N a t i o n a l Children's Society

Deaf

A g o o d t u r n o u t will m a k e this event a s u c c e s s ! N o athletic ability n e e d e d to c o m p e t e . Ian M o r t o n , C h e m E n g 3

O S C A G M T h u r s d a y 1st M a y Men's events include: 100m, i n M E 220 at 1:00pm 1,500m, A t t h i s m e e t i n g e l e c t i o n s 200m, 400m, 800m, 3,000m, 2,000m steeplechase, 4 will be h e l d for the p o s t s of 4 100m, 4 x 400m, 4 x 400m x Chairman, Vice-Chairman, shot lpt relay, 2,000m walk, Secretary, Assistant Secdiscuss, javelin, hammer, high retary and Recpetion Secjump, long jump, and triple retary plus seven committee jump. W o m e n ' s e v e n t s include: other m e m b e r s . P a p e r s a r e u p i n 100m, and 800m and field and track events depending t h e U n i o n L o w e r L o u n g e There will u n t i l M o n d a y 2 8 t h A p r i l . on interest shown. olso be the Presidents Race.


(from front page)

BOAT CLUB

CITY

of s p o r t b e i n g u s e d as a w e a p o n for political purposes, as can be seen from the r e c e n t o p i n i o n p o l l s , t h a t 75% o f p e o p l e reject the call for a n O l y m p i c b o y c o t t , a n d the u n i o n p o l i c y i s , at this m o m e n t i n f a v o u r of all s p o r t i n g c o n t a c t s w i t h all N a t i o n s , colours and creeds. 5) T h a t t h e m o t i o n of t h e A n t i - A p a r t h e i d G r o u p at I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e , h a s f o u n d 300 o d d signatures in several days w h i c h a m o u n t s t o a b o u t 6% of a c t i v e s t u d e n t s ! ! T h i s h a r d l y s e e m s t o be a " s t o r m of protests" w h i c h M a r y a n d her cronies have p u t o n their P r e s s release t o the s t u d e n t N e w s p a p e r s a n d a few N a t i o n a l s ! 6) T h a t all the c h a n n e l s for a p p l i c a t i o n w e r e g o n e t h r o ' i.e. A C C - C o u n c i l - U G M s a n d there w e r e n o official c h a n g e s of p o l i c y t o i n s t r u c t u s n o t t o g o . N o w after a l l h a s b e e n a r r a n g e d t h r e a t s of r e t a l i a t i o n are b e i n g v o i c e d by a n unofficial o r g a n i s a t i o n calling itself the A n t i - A p a r t h e i d g r o u p at Imperial C o l l e g e . In c o n c l u s i o n I w o u l d like t o a p p e a l t o all s t u d e n t s at college (especially t h o s e of y o u w h o enjoy s p o r t ) to t r y a n d s h o w t h e s t u d e n t p o l i t i c i a n s a m o n g s t u s that w e a r e n o t p r e p a r e d t o be i n s t r u c t e d w h a t t o d o a n d w h o to play against b u t t o leave the decision u p to the individuals w h o play the game. I w o u l d a l s o like t o s a y that I w e n t a h e a d w i t h this t o u r i n the h o n e s t belief that it w o u l d be a g o o d t h i n g for the c o l l e g e , a n d o u r s p o r t s m e n , in g e n e r a l , w i t h n o i n t e n t i o n ever t o s h o w s u p p o r t for a n y P o l i t i c a l System.

Editorial comment - back page

LATE NEWS

AND

GUILDS

IC S T U D E N T S LEAVE PETITION AT SOVIET EMBASSY

A s h o r t article this w e e k , just s o m e news about what G u i l d s have been doing d u r i n g the last w e e k o r so. In the h a s t e to report the elections a certain publicity officer forgot t o m e n t i o n the e v e n t s of the previous weekend, so: T h e Election R a g h a d about thirty people turning up to c o l l e c t o u t s i d e H a r r o d s i n v a r i o u s styles of f a n c y d r e s s . G u i l d s c o l l e c t e d a b o u t ÂŁ480 b r i n g i n g o u r total to ÂŁ5,700. T h e B a r N i g h t o n S u n d a y w a s well a t t e n d e d a n d m a n y g o o d p i n t s w e r e d r u n k as w e r e a few y a r d s b y the c a n d i d a t e s . N o w o n t o t h e e v e n t s of this w e e k e n d . T h e t h e a t r e t r i p o n F r i d a y w a s a great s u c c e s s w i t h forty p e o p l e g o i n g t o see The Accidental Death Of An Anarchist E v e r y b o d y e n j o y e d the play a n d a n o t h e r s u c h trip is p l a n n e d . T h e E a s t E n d trip o n S u n d a y w a s a g o o d t i m e o u t for a few intrepid Guildspersons w h o remembered to set t h e i r c l o c k s b a c k a n h o u r , o u r i n t r e p i d p r e s i d e n t got r a t h e r c o n f u s e d a n d m a n a g e d to a r r i v e a n h o u r e a r l y . T h e trip that followed s h o w e d this m e r r y b a n d s o m e of t h e sights of the N e a r E a s t E n d a n d w a s e n j o y e d b y all w h o c a m e . D o n ' t forget to h a n d in y o u r replies to the F i n n i s t o n Q u e s t i o n n a i r e that y o u s h o u l d h a v e all r e c e i v e d . T h e r e a c t i o n of u s s t u d e n t s is i m p o r t a n t , s o get t h e replies into the U n i o n O f f i c e t o d a y .

A petition o r g a n i z e d by the Imperial C o l l e g e U n i o n J e w i s h S o c i e t y , a p p e a l i n g to the S o v i e t authorities to stop discrimination against Soviet students, collected over one t h o u s a n d s i g n a t u r e s . T h i s was to be d e l i v e r e d t o the S o v i e t E m b a s s y . O n a r r i v i n g at t h e S o v i e t E m b a s s y the s t u d e n t s r e p r e s e n t i n g the J e w i s h S o c i e t y a n d the U n i o n were admitted a n d engaged i n a c o n v e r s a t i o n w i t h a n E m b a s s y official. H e m a d e the point that they w o u l d n o t a c c e p t t h e p e t i t i o n as it d e a l t w i t h a n i n t e r n a l R u s s i a n affair. After m u c h argument the official s t o o d f i r m in his s t a n d against a c c e p t i n g the p e t i t i o n . W h i l s t t w o of the p a r t y e n g a g e d the official i n o b t a i n i n g t h e a d d r e s s of t h e R u s s i a n M i n i s t e r of the Interior a t h i r d d i s c r e e t l y 'left' the file c o n t a i n i n g the p e t i t i o n . A t this p o i n t all of the s t u d e n t s left. T h u s , t h o u g h not a c c e p t e d , the protest was lodged o n 'Russian soil'. This protest was organised in c o n j u n c t i o n w i t h the n a t i o n a l l y organised Students and A c a d e m i c C a m p a i g n for S o v i e t Jewry.

Have a good vacation. Cheers Bryan URGENT MESSAGE TO H A M S O C MEMBERS T h e r e is a H A M S O C m e e t i n g at 12:30 tod a y , at the s h a c k ( r o o f of E l e c E n g ) . T h e y n e e d h e l p w i t h t h e r e m o v a l of e q u i p m e n t f r o m their s h a c k . It h a s t o be d i s m a n t l e d b e c a u s e the r o o f of E l e c E n g is b e i n g r e s u r f a c e d o v e r E a s t e r b e c a u s e of l e a k s . CINA

SPORTS CENTRE V A C CLOSURE T h e S p o r t s c e n t r e will be c l o s e d b e t w e e n 2 n d a n d 10th of A p r i l .

Nick Jenkins

A C C MEETING (see front page) T h e A C C meeting held last night closed after only 2 minutes. T i m Hillyer deemed that the meeting was inquorate and so it ended without any discussion on the Boat C l u b issue.

11

t f

CINA PWP ELECTION EXPLOSION A t 8:30 p.m. last night, there were 22 candidates standing for the six posts o n the Permanent W o r k i n g Party. 17 were fully proposed and seconded. T h e election is by S T V and it will be held at the U G M o n Thursday 24th April. MORE TROLLEYS TAKEN 15 more trolleys were taken from Imperial College and returned to Waitrose. T h i s follows yesterdays amnesty. It is reported that there could still be another 20 trolleys on campus. F E L I X has had to use the Editor's wheelchair to distribute today's copy of F E L I X .

MINES v. G U I L D S IN S P A R K E S C U P

(result on page 10) 3


WHAT'S O N FRIDAY

JUST A SEC

21st M A R C H

I C C H R I S T I A N U N I O N M E E T I N G at 6 : 3 0 p m i n t h e M u s i c R o o m , 53 P r i n c e ' s Gardens.

TUESDAY

MOPSOC L E C T U R E

1st A P R I L

o n Who Ravel Letters - A Statistical P r o f A v i F u l d h e w i n M E 220 Members 20p, non-members

WEDNESDAY

23rd

Wrote The Survey b y at 2 : 0 0 p m . free.

APRIL

H A M S O C A G M w i t h e l e c t i o n s for c l u b officers at 1:00pm a b o v e S t a n ' s B a r , Southside.

SATURDAY

3rd M A Y

E N T S C O N C E R T : CARAVAN in the G r e a t H a l l at 7:30pm. T i c k e t s ÂŁ3.00 i n a d v a n c e o r ÂŁ3.50 o n t h e d o o r .

Riding Club meetings now held at new time of 12:30 to 1:30 in Room 1110 (level 11) Elec Eng every Tuesday.

PART-TIME T U T O R S REQUIRED Tutors in all branches of the arts, sciences and languages are required for part-time work in L o n d o n . Please contact David King o n 9043833 o r write p o s t a g e free t o D a v i d K i n g , Freepost, Wembley. H A 9 9 B R .

A t t h e time of w r i t i n g n o o n e h a s s t o o d for t h e p o s t o f Geology, Min Res Eng o r Civ Eng D e p R e p . P a p e r s will r e m a i n u p until s o m e o n e d o e s . (Man Sci D e p R e p is e l e c t e d i n t h e a u t u m n term.)

Officers

W i t h t h e e n d o f t e r m it i s p e r h a p s a p p r o p r i a t e t o t a k e s t o c k of t h e results of this t e r m ' s e l e c t i o n s .

Dep

T h e e l e c t i o n of n e x t y e a r ' s U n i o n O f f i c e r s was held at t h e last U G M a n d t h e candidates w h o received the most votes were.

Reps

Welfare ICCAG External UGM

Five departmental elections were held o n M o n d a y . T h e following c a n d i d a t e s p o l l e d the greatest v o t e s . Elec Eng - B i l l S t u c k e Aero - C a r l o s D e P o m m e s - M a r k Gillett Physics Life Sciences - Daniel Benham T h e e l e c t i o n for Met and Mat Sci D e p R e p r e s u l t e d i n a tied v o t e b e t w e e n t h e two candidates. T h e election procedure will be r e - r u n . P a p e r s g o u p o n M o n d a y 21st A p r i l a n d c o m e d o w n o n F r i d a y 2 n d M a y , with the election being held on M o n d a y 12th M a y . The other unopposed.

D e p Reps

were

elected '

Maths - Mike Booty Mech Eng - C o l i n B a t c h e l o r CCD - J o n a t h o n Briggs Chemistry - Joe Przeworski Chem Eng - A B M i l j k o v i c Barney M c C a b e speaking on Imperial College Radio during the Presidential Election Special live from Stan's B a r , Barney livened up the elections with his David Bellamy impressions which won him a respectable 3rd place with 404 votes. F E L I X has been unable to photograph the four winning sabbaticals as it is difficult to find them all together in one place in order to take a group

-

Pete Stevens - Sean Coyle - Chris Webb - J o n Firth

T h e other posts were uncontested. are

They

Academic Affairs Officer - B o b B r a d l e y - Ian H o d g s o n Rag Chairman ULU Representative - Kirsten Pratt

Sabbaticals These are President - John Passmore Hon Sec - L i z L i n d s a y Deputy President - Rae Snee FELIX Editor - Steve Marshall A l l the other U n i o n posts a r e elected next t e r m . T h e s i x Permanent Working Party r e p r e s e n t a t i v e s a r e e l e c t e d at t h e n e x t

UGM

which is on T h u r s d a y 24th

April. P a p e r s a r e u p n o w i n t h e U n i o n L o w e r L o u n ge. A l s o elected then are the t w o o r d i n a r y m e m b e r s of t h e House Committee; s i x o r d i n a r y m e m b e r s of t h e External Affairs Committee (with one being the Secretary a n d o n e the Publicity Officer); R e c o r d Buyer; B o o k Buyer; FELIX Business Manager and Union Publicity Officer. P a p e r s are u p in the Lower Lounge and come down on Tuesday 22nd April. I've n o t h i n g m o r e t o s a y just n o w , e x c e p t h a v e a good h o l i d a y .

Roger Stotesbury

The L O N D O N S T U D E N T T R A V E L Office at IC will close for Easter, T O D A Y at 1:30pm, but the main branch at 117 Euston Road will be staying open over the holidays.

photo.

T H E G R E A T IMPERIAL R A G RACE: A f t e r C h a p t e r T w o last w e e k , it falls t o the undeniably bionic s u p e r h u m a n R C S collectors to finally set the r e c o r d straight. T h e diabolical injustices a n d blatant p r o p a g a n d a were perpetrated not by us b u t by I a n t h e " A n o n y m o u s Guildsman". T h e feats of the i m m o r t a l f e w G u i l d s m e n (sic) w e r e e x p o u n d e d w i t h a n o t e d seifc o n f e s s e d l a c k of m o d e s t y . W h a t w a s m o d e s t l y f o r g o t t e n w a s t h a t t h e jolly b a n d from C h e m E n g 1 were bolstered b y the a d d i t i o n of a n R C S p e r s o n t o t h e i r r a n k s . I n d e e d , w e r e it n o t f o r D I E C O O K J A W useless (yes, we too c a n produce a n a g r a m s ) , t h e d o y e n n e of C h e m 1, t h e C h e m E n g team w o u l d have sunk into ugly o b s c u r i t y . T h e a p p a r e n t R C S c o c k u p a t t h e start w a s o n l y d u e t o t h e fact

4

that t h e I C R a g C o m m i t t e e , a n d i n d e e d m o s t of t h o s e w h o a t t e n d R a g C o m m i t t e e meetings, are R C S persons. P e r h a p s a point f o r o u r G u i l d s m a n elect c h a i r m a n t o bear i n m i n d . S o w e c o m e t o t h e t r a v e l s of D e v i a n t d o i n g it his w a y o v e r eight h u n d r e d m i l e s . E i g h t h u n d r e d miles a n d R o l l s R o y c e s d o n o t m a k e a h e r o of m o d e r n t i m e s . W e s h o w e d t h e stuff w h i c h m e n a r e m a d e is S c o t c h , crisps a n d nearly o n e thousand miles of c o n t i n u a l t r a v e l . Besides, what d i d Deviant d o w h e n he got t o P e r t h ? N o t h i n g ! H e just t u r n e d r o u n d a n d h e a d e d h o m e . T h e great l o n g d i s t a n c e R C S R a g m a c h i n e left D u n d e e reeling under a n onslaught upon their defenceless w o m e n in their university halls.

FINALE

B u t w h a t of t h e future? A R a g r a c e s o m e t i m e i n t h e first t e r m o f n e x t y e a r s h o u l d s e e u s w i t h a c o m p l e t e s u p p l y of R a g M a g s for e v e r y b o d y t o o v e r r u n t h e c o u n t r y . R u m o u r h a s it that this y e a r ' s r e a l c h a m p i o n s (ie R C S ) a r e g o i n g t o h e a d f o r a N o r t h S e a o i l r i g , o r failing that, the B i g A p p l e across the pond. S h o u l d B E 1 like t o l e a r n h o w t o R a g r a c e p r o p e r l y (eg, o n e t h o u s a n d miles g o n e , two hundred a n d thirty-seven R a g M a g s sold by o n e person, etc) they k n o w where t o c o m e for l e s s o n s . Yours heroically, M & S (not the clothes and Steve)

shop,

but

Matt

( F o r t h o s e of y o u r e a d e r s w h o t h i n k this i n t e r - C C U slagging is g o i n g a bit far, d o n ' t w o r r y , w e ' r e o n l y d o i n g it for t h e kiddies.)


The Mines Review Reviewed W o m e n in S c i e n c e and T e c h n o l o g y ( W I S T ) c o n d u c t e d a s u r v e y of p e o p l e e n t e r i n g the M i n e s R e v i e w o n W e d n e s d a y 1 2 t h M a r c h f r o m 7:00 t o 8 : 4 5 d u r i n g w h i c h t i m e 186 p e o p l e a n s w e r e d t h e questions

by WIST

L e s s t h a n half the e n t r a n t s f o u n d o u t a b o u t the r e v i e w f r o m the p o s t e r s a n d m o s t w e r e n o t i n f l u e n c e d b y the t y p e of p o s t e r w h i c h s u g g e s t s that its offensive n a t u r e (a s i l h o u e t t e of a n u d e w o m a n ) was totally unnecessary. A similar p r o p o r t i o n , u n d e r fifty p e r c e n t of t h o s e q u e s t i o n e d w o u l d go t o a s tr ip s h o w o u t s i d e of C o l l e g e a n d m a n y suggested that the late bar licence i n f l u e n c e d their d e c i s i o n to a t t e n d the r e v i e w r a t h e r t h a n the t y p e of e n t e r t a i n m e n t offered. T h e m e n d i d n o t a c c e p t that t h e y w e r e m a i n t a i n i n g a s t e r e o t y p e image of a ' m a n ' (nor r e i n f o r c i n g it) ( q u e s t i o n 6), h o w e v e r the p a c k instinct was prevalent, with m a n y p e o p l e a n s w e r i n g in g r o u p s ; o n the o t h e r h a n d m a n y p e o p l e e n t e r e d , as s t a t e d a b o v e , for the b a r . W e , in W I S T , believe that s t r i p s h o w s hinder any moves towards equality in our university society. To watch a show w h i c h d i s p l a y s w o m e n as o b j e c t s t o be l o o k e d at a n d a s s e s s e d in t e r m s of t h e i r p e r f o r m a n c e , a n d t h e n not t o t r a n s l a t e these values in relations with other w o m e n on the same c o u r s e , takes a

c o n s c i o u s effort. T h e fact that s o m a n y g o i n g t o the r e v i e w s a w t h e s t r i p p e r a s a w o m a n c a n be s e e n as a w o r r y i n g c o m e n t on h o w they view w o m e n in general. Q u e s t i o n 7, t h o u g h , d i d p r o v o k e m a n y t o consider the differences between their ideas of w o m e n a n d s e x o b j e c t s a n d , p e r h a p s , h i g h l i g h t e d s o m e of the c o n t r a dictions put forward in this society regarding sexual conditioning. Y e t a n o t h e r c o n t r a d i c t i o n c a n be s e e n in the r e s p o n s e s to q u e s t i o n 8. relating to the m a l e s t r i p p e r . T h r e e q u a r t e r s of t h o s e a s k e d s a w the male s t r i p p e r as a c l o w n . W e s h o u l d n e x t a s k : W h y is it that the male s t r i p p e r is a figure of r i d i c u l e a n d the w o m a n s t r i p p e r n o t ? C o u l d it be to do with 'stereotypes', 'sex roles'? W e suggest that one of the r e a s o n s female s t r i p p e r s are ' e x c i t i n g ' is that a n a k e d w o m a n is v u l n e r a b l e a n d so the m e n i n the a u d i e n c e c a n d e r i v e a sense of p o w e r . A m a l e s t r i p p e r h o w e v e r d o e s not d e p i c t a helpless creatures. O n e only has to n o t e that m a l e n u d i t y is often a g g r e s s i v e , e g , in the c a s e s of flashers a n d r a p i s t s . M i n e s m a y say (and if they don't m a n y o t h e r s will) that by h a v i n g a male s t r i p p e r the event b e c o m e s n o n - s e x i s t b e c a u s e

t h e n w o m e n c a n l o o k at a m a n , b u t t h i s , a g a i n , is j u s t a c a s e o f m e n w a n t i n g w o m e n to c o n f o r m to t h e i r i d e a s of sexuality. T h i s college h a s a v e r y u n e q u a l r a t i o of m e n to w o m e n a n d as previously stated, we d o not believe s u c h s p e c t a c l e s as the M i n e s R e v i e w will i m p r o v e it. T h e r e s u l t s of the s u r v e y suggest that M i n e s s h o u l d r e v i e w the n e e d for this type of e n t e r t a i n m e n t i n C o l l e g e (on p u r e l y e c o n o m i c o r p o p u l a r i t y g r o u n d s if n o t e g a l i t a r i a n ) . S u c h events are not warranted (nor desired) b y people in this C o l l e g e a n d should not continue. T o e n d o n a slightly different ( t h o u g h topical) note, the fear w i t h w h i c h p e o p l e regard I C W A organising women-only events ( w h i c h it d o e s n o t d o a n y w a y ) o r events p e r t a i n i n g s p e c i f i c a l l y to w o m e n is a l a r m i n g a n d yet w i t h o n l y e l e v e n w o m e n o u t of 186 people e n t e r i n g the r e v i e w , will M i n e s be a c c u s e d of p r o v i d i n g d i s c r i m i n a t o r y e n t e r t a i n m e n t ? Is t h i s n o t j u s t another contradiction highlighting inequality in this college (and another r e a s o n for k e e p i n g I C W A . . . o r else to d i s b a n d M i n e s â&#x20AC;&#x201D; let's be c o n s i s t e n t a t least).

5


E a s t e r w i t n e s s e s the greatest s h o w o n e a r t h (well, nearly) in the f o r m of d r a g r a c i n g (as s e e n o n T V , a l t h o u g h not very often). T h e venue being the infamous S a n t a P o d R a c e w a y . D r a g r a c i n g began v e r y h u m b l y as c a r s r a c i n g b e t w e e n traffic lights in s u n n y S o u t h e r n C a l i f o r n i a a n d F l o r i d a . T h e guys got s o fed u p of b e i n g h a r a s s e d b y the p o l i c e , that they b e g a n t o use a d i s u s e d airfield a n d things w e n t o n f r o m there. T o d a y d r a g r a c i n g is a b o o m i n g multim i l l i o n dollar b u s i n e s s w h i c h is b e c o m i n g p o p u l a r w o r l d w i d e , h a v i n g ac ti v e particip a t i o n in at least t e n c o u n t r i e s . T h e sport is b a s i c a l l y a n a c c e l e r a t i o n c o n t e s t , b e t w e e n t w o c a r s o r b i k e s of a b o u t equal m o d i f i c a t i o n o v e r a s t a n d i n g s t a r t of q u a r t e r of a m i l e , the w i n n e r b e i n g the o n e w h o c r o s s e s the finish first. S o u n d s s i m p l e ! D o n ' t be fooled, a lot c a n h a p p e n in s u c h a s m a l l d i s t a n c e , t h i n g s c a n go s e r i o u s l y w r o n g , s u c h as d i s i n t e g r a t i o n of c l u t c h o r engine, p u n c t u r e s , t y r e s h a k e ( w h e r e the t y r e o n l y grips t h e t r a c k for p a r t of a r e v o l u t i o n ) , etc, etc. Y o u don't h a v e l o n g t o r e a c t before y o u hit a solid g u a r d rail a n d that's w h e n t r o u b l e really b e g i n s , it d o e s n ' t d o y o u r h e a l t h ( o r o v e r d r a f t ) t o o m u c h g o o d t r a v e l l i n g at o v e r 2 0 0 m p h u p s i d e d o w n . H o w e v e r , that d o e s n ' t h a p p e n t o o often.

Every year at least one Christmas Tree gets demolished T h e m o s t i m p o r t a n t part of a d r a g r a c e is t h e s t a r t , if y o u get off b a d l y t h e r e ' s a lot of w o r k to do to c a t c h u p . T h e starting m e c h a n i s m being an electronic light s y s t e m ( C h r i s t m a s tree) the cars b e i n g p l a c e d b e t w e e n light b e a m s , if y o u leave the line before the c o u n t d o w n is f i n i s h e d y o u ' r e d i s q u a l i f i e d . O n a 'legal' start a c l o c k begins t o c o u n t y o u r t i m e , a n d is t e r m i n a t e d w h e n y o u b r e a k a light b e a m at the finish line. Y o u r s p e e d is also r e c o r d e d u s i n g , a f u r t h e r set of light b e a m s p l a c e d t w e n t y feet a p a r t . T h e c l o c k s a r e v e r y a c c u r a t e , the c l o s e s t race I ' v e s e e n w a s o n e of 0 . 0 0 0 1 s e c o n d s s e p a r a t i n g t h e t w o c a r s . M o s t r a c e s are w o n b y h u n d r e t h s of a s e c o n d . T h e cars a n d bikes are divided into classes a n d sub-divided into sub-classes.

6

H a n d l i n g c a n a l s o be quite a p r o b l e m as y o u m a y well i m a g i n e w i t h the p o w e r of f o u r f o r m u l a o n e c a r s o n t a p . T h e E u r o p e a n c a r s are n e a r l y as g o o d as the A m e r i c a n cars (5.95sec/246mph). T h e r e are six o t h e r m a j o r classes w h i c h a r e s u b - d i v i d e d i n t o as m a n y as 52 c a t e g o r i e s i n t h e c a s e of p r o d u c t i o n w h i c h is ' n o r m a l ' c a r s m e r e l y t u n e d u p . T o p F u e l a n d F u n n y C a r s use m a n y specialist p a r t s , s u c h as a l u m i n i u m engine b l o c k s for lightness o r i r o n engine b l o c k s for reliability d e p e n d i n g o n w h i c h y o u c a n afford. E x o t i c metals are u s e d for internal parts. Specialist parts generally come from two manufacturers : E d Pink or Keith Black. D r a g R a c i n g gains its p o p u l a r i t y f r o m the friendliness at e a c h m e e t i n g â&#x20AC;&#x201D; w h e r e i n F o r m u l a 1 R a c i n g c o u l d y o u go into the pits a n d talk to the drivers about their cars etc. A f t e r all the t o p m e n c a n e a r n qu i te a lot e a c h y e a r ( o v e r $400,000 i n t h e c a s e of R a y m o n d B e a d l e , d r i v e r of the f a m e d B l u e M a x F u n n y C a r , a n d thats i n sponsorship alone) yet t h e y still find time to talk t o the paying public. D r a g R a c i n g gets into y o u r b l o o d ; o n c e y o u ' v e t r y e d it y o u c a n ' t give it u p . t h e r e is a l w a y s s o m u c h a c t i o n , be it o n t h e s t r i p o r in the pits .

The 'Hot-N-Juicy' Corvette Funny Car puts a really smokey burnout at Indiannapolis in B e f o r e the a c t u a l r u n itself the c a r s go t h r o u g h a ' b u r n o u t ' process; the rear w h e e l s are m o v e d into p o o l s of w a t e r , a n d t h e a c c e l e r a t o r f l o o r e d , s p i n n i n g the rear wheels, melting the r u b b e r and c l e a r i n g the t y r e s . T h e layer of r u b b e r w h i c h is laid d o w n gives e x c e l l e n t t r a c t i o n (or grip) off the start line. T o m a k e u s e ' o f this grip a n d the p o w e r available w i d e w h e e l s a n d tyres are u s e d ; the tyres are m a d e useless after n o m o r e t h a n three miles r a c i n g . A t the e n d of a g o o d day's r a c i n g the t r a c k c a n h a v e a g o o d q u a r t e r of a n i n c h of r u b b e r c o v e r i n g t h e start line. A t the e n d of a d a y the w h o l e strip is c l e a r e d by h e a t i n g a n d s c r a p i n g to remove the rubber w h i c h cracks and s p o i l s the surface. T h e main classes: Rocket Dragster/Funny Car Light the blue t o u c h paper a n d r u n , w o u l d be a n ideal c o m m e n t , s o I w o n ' t w r i t e it. T h e s e c a r s are definitely e x h i b i t i o n c a r s , i.e. they are not allowed to race in pairs, b e c a u s e of t h e d a n g e r of a h i g h s p e e d c o l l i s i o n f o l l o w e d by p o s s i b l e d e t o n a t i o n of t h e H y d r o g e n P e r o x i d e (neat) t a n k s . T o p m a n is ' s l a m m i n g ' S a m m y M i l l e r of N e w J e r s e y in the V a n i s h i n g P o i n t R o c k e t . H i s q u i c k e s t r u n to date b e i n g 3.94 s e e s at 360 m . p . h . o v e r a s t a n d i n g q u a r t e r mile. T h e r o c k e t is a c t u a l l y a c o n v e r t e d l u n a r lancjing ' module propulsion system (converted from liquid O x y g e n to P e r o x i d e ) .

T h e t o p r a c i n g c l a s s is l o p t-uel, the c a r s m o s t p e o p l e a s s o c i a t e a s dragsters (if, i n fact, they k n o w w h a t a d r a g s t e r is) â&#x20AC;&#x201D; the long-bodied wide rear-wheelec m a c h i n e s , w h i c h r u n o n a diet of n i t r o methane (explosive) and methanol. I challenge a n y o n e t o d r i n k b e e r as fast as t h e y d o n i t r o ; just a b o u t o n e gallon p e r s e c o n d w h e n in 'full s o n g ' . T h e best c a r s c a n r u n the q u a r t e r in just under six s e c o n d s at 2 4 5 m p h p l u s . T h e c a r s h a v e so m a n y safety f e a t u r e s built i n , it's u n r e a l ; fire e x t i n g u i s h e r s , e x p l o s i o n - p r o o f l e a k - p r o o f fuel cells, d u a l p a r a c h u t e s , a n d m o r e , giving t h e m a very safe t r a c k record. O n e of the n e w e s t a n d m o s t p o p u l a r c l a s s e s is the f u n n y c a r (effectively s h o r t w h e e l b a s e T o p F u e l c a r s w i t h a fibre glass r e p l i c a p r o d u c t i o n c a r bodies ) . A wolf i n sheep's clothing pumping^ out over 2 , 0 0 0 b h p ' w h i c h s h a k e the g r o u n d , a n d c a n be felt, for a g o o d h u n d r e d feet, t h u s t h e effect of ' b r a i n s h a k a g e ' is a l s o k n o w n , this is n o t h i n g to d o w i t h D P s , but a n effect w h e r e the s c a l p a n d b r a i n m o v e in d i f f e r e n t d i r e c t i o n s d u e to r e s o n a n c e s set u p a n d is qu i te f u n .

Larry Bower's clutch decides to part with the car

ISN'T LIFE A D R A G Words and pics by Mickie Marsh

The famed 'Blue Max' Funny Car holds the European Record at 6.00 sec

m

H O W TO GET TO SANTA POD M1 from Leicester

PETERBOROUGH^^North

M

RUSHDEN PODINGTON

#

HINWIC

DNj^B Sj I

BEDFORD A43 from Oxford LUTON

This burnt down piston was the result of an engine disintegration

Veteran racer Dick la Haie trys out the surface London

at

the

US

131

Dragstrip

Michigan. 7


E l e c t i o n d a y at Illogos C o l l e g e w a s even more bizzare than usual. F o r w h e n t h e tellers c a m e t o tot u p t h e v o t e s cast for t h e p o s t of U n i o n P r e s i d e n t , they f o u n d t o their s u r p r i s e a n d b e w i l d e r m e n t that m a n y of the v o t e r s h a d i g n o r e d t h e three n a m e s o n t h e ballot s h e e t , a n d h a d i n s c r i b e d a n e x t r a o n e . I n d e e d , their p e r p l e x i t y i n c r e a s e d w h e n it w a s r e a l i s e d that this u n k n o w n n o m i n e e , w h o s e n a m e was M r L a m p o o n , h a d been elected to t h e p r e s i d e n t i a l p o s t . Apparently, during the previous night, s o m e agent provocateur had p l a s t e r e d t h e w a l l s of t h e college w i t h p r o p a g a n d a i n s u p p o r t of the m y s t e r i o u s c a n d i d a t e . T h e s e m i n a l originality of the a r t - w o r k o n t h e s e p o s t e r s h a d b e e n i n s p i r e d ; a n d it w a s for this r e a s o n a l o n e that m a n y of t h e v o t e r s had pledged their alliance with M r L a m p o o n in preference to his opponents, whose election propaganda had been rancid with cant. Although this w a s t h e g e n e r a l c o n s e n s u s of o p i n i o n , o n e girl s a i d that it h a d b e e n h i s F r e n c h s o u n d i n g n a m e that h a d a p p e a l e d t o h e r , while a n o t h e r fellow i n s i s t e d that it h a d b e e n M r L a m p o o n ' s M a r x i s t b e n t that h a d s w u n g the election his w a y . A l l t h e s a m e , w h a t e v e r t h e p i t c h of the m a n ' s policies, it d i d n ' t h e l p the u n i o n e x e c u t i v e to d i s c o v e r t h e ' t r u e identity o r the w h e r e a b o u t s of this fictitious p r e s i d e n t - e l e c t . F o r t h r e e h o u r s after t h e r e s u l t w a s k n o w n , a fierce d e b a t e e n s u e d b e t w e e n t h e past p r e s i d e n t , the r e t u r n i n g officer a n d the chief teller. W i t h t h e i r c u s t o m a r y unanimity, each suggested a radically different s o l u t i o n t o t h e i r p r e d i c a m e n t . T h e n suddenly, w h e n the whole e l e c t i o n s e e m e d i n g r a v e d a n g e r of b e i n g r e d u c e d t o t h e level of a c o m i c farce, a deus ex machina a p p e a r e d in the guise of a tattily d r e s s e d , u n s h a v e n fellow w h o j u s t s e e m e d to materialise o u t o f t h e L o n d o n smog. W i t h great g e s t i c u l a t i o n s , h e i n t r o d u c e d himself a s B r u n o , a p o l o g i s e d for b e i n g s o late, t h e n a n n o u n c e d that he was none other than M r L a m p o o n ' s political agent. M r L a m p o o n , h e e x p l a i n e d , w o u l d n o t be available until the f o l l o w i n g m o r n i n g , w h e n h e , B r u n o , w o u l d gladly a c c o m p a n y the u n i o n officers t o m e e t h i m . H e t h e n r e q u e s t e d that t h e y a s s e m b l e o u t s i d e the gates of W h i p s n a d e Z o o , s i n ce this w a s i n c l o s e p r o x i m i t y t o L a m p o o n ' s party H Q . T h e next m o r n i n g , the three union officers m e t u p with t h e e c c e n t r i c B r u n o , who arrived carrying a copy of the m o r n i n g e d i t i o n of t h e Grorniad, a b u n c h of ripe b a n a n a s a n d a c a n of anti-fly s p r a y . T h e i r c o n s t e r n a t i o n o v e r this w a s n o t allayed when B r u n o bought four; e n t r a n c e t i c k e t s t o t h e z o o , y e t this w a s n o t h i n g i n c o m p a r i s o n to t h e s h o c k that a w a i t e d t h e m .

8

B r u n o l e d t h e m to t h e c h i m p a n z e e c a g e , doffed his c a p to the hairy m a l e inside it, t h e n , w i t h o u t the bat of a n e y e l i d , h a n d e d h i m the n e w s p a p e r , the b a n a n a s a n d the antifly s p r a y . " T h i s , g e n t l e m a n , " B r u n o said, "is L a m p o o n , your presidente l e c t . " T h e three u n i o n officers h a d s o m e difficulty digesting this m o r s e l of i n f o r m a t i o n . T h e y s t o o d as if t r a n s f i x e d to the g r o u n d , a n d s t a r e d s t u p i d l y at the animal, w h o meanwhile had consumed the eight b a n a n a s , a n d w a s busily s e a r c h i n g o u t the s p o r t s page in the newspaper. Behind h i m , six or seven female c h i m p s r o m p e d a n d l o p e d a r o u n d the c a g e .

s o c i o l o g i c a l s t u d y d u r i n g h i s stay at Whipsnade, which h a d been completed. T h u s , the f o l l o w i n g d a y , B r u n o l e d L a m p o o n before a n aghast a u d i e n c e of students. O f course, L a m p o o n realised that he w a s t h e c e n t r e o f a t t e n t i o n , a n d w i t h the d r a m a t i c s e n s e of a w o m a n , d a n c e d a r o u n d t h e floor d o i n g s u m m e r s a u l t s . F i n a l l y , t o t h e f u r o r e of t h e assembled c o m p a n y , he demonstrated his i n c r e d i b l e g y m n a s t i c abilities b y s w i n g i n g f r o m c h a n d e l i e r to c h a n d e l i e r , a n d w i t h one e n o r m o u s leap, landed i n the presidential chair. B r u n o e v e n t u a l l y m a n a g e d t o plac at e his h i g h spirits w i t h t h e a i d of a b u n c h of bananas. B u t the next problem arose when L a m p o o n was handed a fountain p e n w i t h w h i c h he w a s t o s i g n t h e inauguration document. T h i s seemingly s t r a i g h t f o r w a r d t a s k w a s m a d e all t h e more hazardous by L a m p o o n ' s mischievous insistence o n squirting i n k over the u n i o n officers. E a c h time t h e p e n e j e c t e d a l o n g s i l v e r y blue d i s c h a r g e of i n k , a r o g u i s h grin w o u l d s p r e a d a c r o s s his h a i r y face, a n d h i s o p e n lips w o u l d r e v e a l a set of d a z z l i n g l y w h i t e g n a s h e r s

BANANAS

T h e m a n w h o r e c e i v e d t h e b r u n t of their a n g e r a n d c o n f u s i o n w a s , of c o u r s e , B r u n o . H o w c o u l d L a m p o o n be p r e s i d e n t w h e n he wasn't e v e n a h u m a n , let a l o n e a s t u d e n t , t h e y c r i e d . B r u n o p a r r i e d this objection by presenting them with L a m p o o n ' s student union c ard . . . complete with photograph a n d authentic stamp. Y e t n u m e r o u s other objections w e r e r a i s e d ; h o w w o u l d the feminist m o v e m e n t react w h e n it b e c a m e k n o w n that L a m p o o n h a d a d o z e n o r s o wives . . . . after a l l , to the G r e e r s of this w o r l d , p o l y g a m y is a b o u t as p o p u l a r as c e l i b a c y i n a b o r d e l l o . B r u n o , w h o d i s l i k e d the s m e l l of p r e j u d i c e , c o u l d see n o connection between a man's sexual a p p e t i t e a n d h i s politics. A n y w a y , B r u n o i n s i s t e d that all these impediments were illusory; L a m p o o n had w o n t h e e l e c t i o n , that w a s all that m a t t e r e d . B e s i d e s , he w a s s u r e that L a m p o o n ' s charismatic personality a n d i n s o u c i a n t s m i l e w o u l d c a r r y all before him. A f t e r s e v e r a l h o u r s of d i s p u t a t i o n , B r u n o ' s e l o q u e n c e a n d p r o f o u n d faith i n his p r o d i g y h a d c o n v i n c e d t h e e x e c u t i v e that L a m p o o n ' s p o t e n t i a l as a p r e s i d e n t was unrivalled. Nevertheless, they d e c i d e d it w o u l d be p r u d e n t n o t to b r e a k the n e w s of L a m p o o n ' s identity to the c u r i o u s p u b l i c until the n e x t d a y , w h e n a n E G M w o u l d be a r r a n g e d . T h e n the p r e s i d e n t c o u l d be i n t r o d u c e d in p e r s o n , a n d a formal inauguration c o u l d take p l a c e . A t this p o i n t , B r u n o i n d i c a t e d that L a m p o o n ' s release w a s imminent . . . i n fact, h e h a d b e e n c a r r y i n g o u t a

N o w , these o u t r a g e o u s e v e n t s o c c u r e d o v e r a w e e k a g o . D u r i n g this t i m e , all t h e disputes, wrangles, points a n d counterpoints over L a m p o o n ' s hedgemony have b e e n d i s s i p a t e d b y t h o s e t w o great r e d e m p t i v e features of a n y d e m o c r a t i c system â&#x20AC;&#x201D; apathy a n d resentment. While m o s t of the s t u d e n t s h a v e s u n k b a c k i n t o their p r e v i o u s state of i n t e m p e r a n c e a n d d e b a u c h e r y , a few h a v e b e g u n t o c a s t a s p e r s i o n s o n the n e w p r e s i d e n t . O n e p a r t i c u l a r l y vitriolic a t t a c k w a s a i m e d at L a m p o o n ' s po l i c i e s a n d i n t h e a p p a r e n t l y h a p h a z a r d w a y in w h i c h they were f o r m u l a t e d . In all h o n e s t y , it w a s b e i n g s a i d that t h e p r e s i d e n t w a s m o r e concerned about the importation a n d e x p o r t a t i o n of p e a n u t s a n d b a n a n a s t h a n a b o u t the welfare of h i s s t u d e n t s . O b v i o u s l y , y o u will agree t h a t s u c h libellous a c c u s a t i o n s a r e b o t h u n f o u n d e d a n d unjustified.

NUTSHELL In a d d i t i o n , it w a s b e i n g c l a i m e d i n s o m e c i r c l e s that L a m p o o n ' s m a n i f e s t o was w r i t t e n o n a n d h i d d e n i n s i d e a n u t s h e l l , w h i c h he k e e p s h i d d e n somewhere about his person, a n d from w h i c h he o c c a s i o n a l l y t a k e s a little n i b b l e . D u r i n g t h e past f e w d a y s , L a m p o o n h a s b e e n o n a c o n c e n t r a t e d field s t u d y of t h e n e a r b y J e k y l l P a r k . I n d e e d , at this p r e c i s e m o m e n t i n t i m e , his e x a c t w h e r e a b o u t s are n o t k n o w n . S o m e s a y that h e ' s meditating in solitude o n the world's p r o b l e m s , while o t h e r m o r e s k e p t i c a l o b s e r v e r s suggest that h e ' s g a l i v a n t i n g a b o u t the g r a s s l a n d s like a s a n d b o y a n d practising some novel acrobatic trick with w h i c h to e n r a p t u r e t h e n e x t U G M .

Justin Newland


Kramer vs. Kramer Ted lovingly holds Billy Joanna with her son Billy

Dustin Hoffman described "Kramer vs. Kramer" as a film about a man who considers himself to be a good father. After his wife leaves him the man learns to become a mother and then becomes a father via that route. The film is a story about relationships. It stars Dustin Hoffman as T e d Kramer, an advertising agency executive obsessed with his career and the need to succeed. When his wife suddenly leaves him, he is forced to divert his attention and his energies from climbing the corporate ladder .... to care for his six-year-old son, Billy (Justin Henry). Meryl Streep portrays Joanna Kramer, whose decision to leave her husband, home and child is a desperate bid to find and establish a persona after a lifetime as "just somebody's daughter, somebody's wife, somebody's mother." In its own way an act of love because she honestly believes her family will be better off without her. It takes a year and a half for her confidence and her guilt to reach the point at which she makes a crucial decision. She wants her son back. She wants custody. Nominated for five oscars "Kramer vs. Kramer" will be a giagantic success in the U K as it was in America. However, there are many good films on the circuit at the moment. they have to be good to survive. I cannot write that this film shines high above the rest but after much persuasion from fellow critics at Imperial I will say that it is a good film which has already been seen by many at IC. I was pleased to have the chance of watching a film that is a story about relationships.... values.... and choices in the world of day Colin Palmer t o

are now invited from all Union Clubs and Societies for inclusion in Articles k the next edition of the Union Handbook. All material should be written

double spaced (preferably typed) and submitted to the FELIX Office before

W E D N E S D A Y , 14 M A Y , 1980 Photographs of Club activities are also encouraged. If you like sniffing rubber solution and fondling sheets of acetate in the dark, and want to work on the Handbook, please contact the Editor,DAVID CRABBE, via FELIX Office or Chem. III.

19 *1


R E V I E W SI THE SELECTER H a m m e r s m i t h Palais The Selecter package got to London on M o n d a y a m i d s t a w e l t e r of p u n k s , skinheads and mods, all busy bopping frantically away. First on were the Swinging Cats, who played a good solid set of sixties revamps with an excellent swirl organ, very much to the fore, even if the rest of the band h a d left t h e i r n o t e s at h o m e . T h e Bodysnatchers, an all-female band, were m u c h better; playing a wide range of reggae r e v i v a l , but m a i n l y t h e i r o w n m a t e r i a l i n c l u d i n g the single Ready, Steady, Go. Everyone was well warmed up by now and ready for the Selecter, who were incredible. I have never seen a band so tight or so hot. Within minutes the whole crowd was leaping about, a n d two kids h a d been unceremoniously dumped by the bouncers. They are a seven piece multi-racial outfit playing what can best be described as 'fusion music'. Whatever it is, it's great to dance to! T h e songs went t h r o u g h in rapid succession; Danger, Three Minute Hero, Too Much Pressure, Street Feeling and It Makes Me Mad amongst

others. A lot of the songs are about racial and class tension, and the need for black, white, skin and punk to get together, stop fighting and have some fun. This worked with most people, who were bopping themselves stupid by this time, apart from a small section of skinheads who chanted slogans now and then. The band came on for three encores, including the obligatory On My Radio, a ska version of James Bone and a final version of Madness with the Bodysnatchers

RIFLE AND PISTOL CLUB As is customary at |his time of year, the Rifle Club organised three inter-CCU rifle and pistol competitions. The first, the full bore competition for the Jocelyn Thorpe C u p was shot last Sunday at the NRA camp Bisley. Two targets were shot at three hundred and six hundred yards, with the best five out of six to count, giving the maximum possible team scores of 500. Visabiity was good, but a fresh, blustery cross-wind was blowing which caused a tew problems for the less experienced members of the teams. City and Guilds won with the following results. JOCELYN-THORPE 300yds City and Guild* J Evans (Capt) J Bloomfield (Great Britain Squad) J Marsden D Sleath J Sackett A Pearce

CUP 600yds

45 50

46 48

46 34 41 42

40 40 35 44

47 46 43 43 46

33 45 42 41 46

Best Five Total:437. RCS P A A P A

Easterfield Jolleys Briers Dickson Reeve

(Capt)

Best Five Total: 432. RSM E Christie (Capt) A Lewis

41 38

40 30

back on stage to join in. The reception was fantastic. The crowd went frantic all the time they were on. If "you like the TwoTone scene, something to bop to, or just a bloody good time, make sure you catch them at the other L o n d o n date, this Saturday at the Lewisham Odeon. Phil C o l e

IC C H O I R

CONCERT

Last Friday, at Kensington Town Hall, Imperial College Choir gave a performance of Bach's St Matthew's Passion. They sang, augmented by members of the choirs of Mary Dafchelor Girls' School and Notting Hill and Ealing High School, under the e x p e r i e n c e d b a t o n of E r i c B r o w n , accompanied by a special orchestra with leaders John Bacon and Penelope Howard. The change of venue (choir concerts are usually held in the Great Hall, Sherfield) was agreeable, producing a magnificent sound, although the red brick and lights produced something of a kiln effect for both performers and audience. In this superb work, the full emotion of the Passion came through, beginning with the r u l e r s c o n s p i r i n g a g a i n s t C h r i s t and following the story until the burial of Jesus. The soloists experienced difficulties in some parts of the performance, but on the whole they did very well, and John Tudhope as the Evangelist gave a particularly memorable and excellent performance. , I think regular attenders of choir concerts would agree that, although this was perhaps not technically the best concert they had ever given, it was however very moving and enjoyable. Partly due to the large size of the c h o i r , the entries were w o o l l y a n d sometimes weak, but the fullness of the

J Atkinson C Darling J Simpson H Cheetham

39 44 45 42

41 46 44 41

Best Five Total:423. On Wednesday afternoon the .22 prone rifle competition was shot for the Courtman Shield, followed by the pistol competition (for which there is no trophy at present) in the evening. Both competitions were held in the rifle range in the Sports Centre. T h e C o u r t m a n Shield was the closest competition for years. Teams of six each shooting two cards with the best five to count gave each team a maximum of 1,000 p o i n t s . E a c h team shot very well with G u i l d s only beating Mines and R C S by three and five points respectively. Unfort u n a t e ly for Mines it is still not g o o d enough to win their captain a pot in the Union Bar (which requires them to win the Courtman Shield), . . . perhaps next year. The Pistol was far less competitive with only Mines and R C S with any sort of pistol shooters The teams shot 5 x 2 cards with the best four to count and the non-existant trophy eventually going to Mines. The final results were as follows. COURTMAN

Total (Bast Flva)

RSM E C J J

Christie (Capt) Darling Atkinson Simpson

SHIELD

192 190 183 188

939

s o u n d they made d u r i n g the c h o r u s es almost made up for this. For me, the most memorable and moving part of the performance was the beautiful chorale When I Am Close

To Dying,

which

the choir sang unaccompanied. This and the final chorus In Tears Of Grief made the whole concert worthwhile. Despite it being a lengthy performance, it was most enjoyable, and congratulations should go to choir, soloists, orchestra and conductor for such a moving rendering. Karen Harget DRAMSOC Last week D R A M S O C put on a play, 'We can't pay? W e won't pay!' Ironically the plot centred on a group of women who took goods from a local supermarket. The publicity was based on the Waitrose bag design. The play was produced by Peter Ed and was fun to watch. All the company were polished in their performances and I enjoyed the chance to relax for a tew moments. Colin MINES V I C T O R I O U S O n Wednesday, Mines beat R C S at 1st XI Rugby by 9 pts to 7. The Mines 1st X V Ruqbv bv 9 Dts to 7. The Mines 2nds won by 30 pts to 12 and Mines also beat R C S at Hockey by 4 goals to 3. This gives Mines the Sparkes C u p , the Engineers C u p and they've also won the Stephenson cup for Hockey. This success follows the tremendous victory against Cambourne. O n Tuesday Mines elected their new Exec. The R S M President is Keith Maynard. Vice-President - Cris Dobson H o n Sec - Rob Pascoe H Cheetham G Loftus

186 165

RCS P A A P A L

Eastertield (Capt) Jolleys Reeve Dickson Briers Wernberg-Meller

CITY AND

172 195 195 184 186 177

GUILDS

Evans (Capt) Bloomfield Sackett Marsden Pearce Sleath

192 198 182 184 186 176

PISTOL RSM C Darling J Tunnard H Cheetham J Simpson

148 133 133 115

942

Total (Best Four) 529

RCS P Eastefield A Jolleys A Reeve A Briers L Wernberg-Maller

CITY AND J D J A J

Evans Sleath Sackett Pearce Bloomfield

153 100 82 106 121

480

GUILDS 123 46 62 99 108

330

MEATHEAD


Steve Hutchings

HOCKEYI ULU CUP FINAL L a s t W e d n e s d a y at M o t s p u r P a r k saw the highlight of what was for IC H o c k e y C l u b an o t h e r w i s e poor s e a s o n : the University of L o n d o n C u p Final. W e a r r i v e d in g o o d t i m e fo r t h e s t a r t , in s p i t e o f t h e c o a c h d r i v e r taking what c a n only be d e s c r i b e d as the ' s c e n i c ' route, to be greeted by about twenty percent of W y e C o l l e g e , a l o ng side wh ic h the small contingent of quiet, but confident, IC supporters s e e m e d quite insignificant. The match eventually started on time, a n d all e y e s were on the diminutive figure of P o o n F o k e L o k e , o u r ' i m p o r t e d ' M a l a y s i a n i n t e r n a t i o n a l , who with almost his first t o u c h of the ball place an inch-perfect pass t h r o u g h W y e d e f e n c e to the left wing. T h i s led to a c r o s s that f o u n d the veteran B o b M i d d l e t o n totally free at the top of the circle. With the goal at his m e r c y B o b mishit the ball wide. Minutes later, however, following a l o n g c o r n e r , P o o n w e a v e d his way t h r o u g h the defence and slotted the ball into the net to o p e n the s c o r i n g . T h o u g h controlling the centre of the field IC were unable to capitalise o n their early lead, a n d were often troubled by s o m e s p e e d y wing play w h i c h s e e m e d to Telegraph impress the s n o o z i n g Daily reporter. T h e rest of the half p r o d u c e d no d a n g e r o u s attacks by either side a n d the only excitement was p r o v i d e d by the opposition's rowdy support and Shirley C o a r s e ' s wellies. In t h e s e c o n d h a l f W y e C o l l e g e survived an early onslaught by the IC attack, before the g a m e settled d o w n into its earlier pattern of IC midfield d o m i n a t i o n , but with a lack of p u n c h in the attack. With less than fifteen minutes to go, T o n y de Barr d e c i d e d to wake up, w h i c h resulted in more effective

f r o n t r u n n i n g a n d a s u c c e s s i o n of penalty c o r n e r s . B o b M i d d l e t o n was u n l u c k y not to s c o r e w h e n , after a series of fouls by W y e defenders at the top of the circle, he beat the goalkeeper. But before he c o u l d s h o ot into the empty goal the u m p i r e g a v e a s h o r t c o r n e r fo r t h e earlier infringements. U p till now IC's short c o r n e r routine had been very d i s a p p o i n t i n g , c a u s e d mainly by the a b s e n c e of an effective h a n d - s t o p p e r , but C h r i s Ftielly's neat stick-stop a n d s u b s e q u e n t sidestep of t h e o n - c o m i n g d e f e n d e r left h i m a c l e a r s h o t at g o a l w h i c h m a d e t h e s c o r e 2-0. Minutes later, in the d y i n g m o m e n t s of the m a t c h , B o b was u p - e n d e d in the circle a n d C h r i s Rielly c o m p e t e n t l y converted the inevitable penalty flick, making the final s c o r e a deserved, but not i n p r e s s i v e , 3-0. After the match there was a little bit of s u b d u e d celebration d u r i n g w h i c h Phil W e b b inexplicably d e c i d e d to take off h i s t r o u s e r s in o r d e r to d r i n k a yard in the U n i o n Bar. T e a m : G C o r b i n , I C r o w e , R Davey, C Rielly, P H u g h e s , T de Barr (Capt), Poon Foke Loke, G Forbes, L Rich, R M i d d l et o n a n d J Afilaka. Neil M a s o n

BOAT CLUB In the s e c o n d half of this term, the B o a t C l u b h a s c o m p e t e d in s e v e r a l events. T h e first of these was the H e n l e y IVs H e a d , w h e r e we e n t e r e d four m e n s a n d t w o l a d i e s ' c r e w s . N o n e of t h e m e n s crews did as well as they c o u l d h a v e d o n e , a l t h o u g h t h r e e of t h e m c a m e in t h e first e l e v e n . T h e g i r l s '

crew finished third in their division. Next was R e a d i n g H e a d of the River R a c e , where three mens a n d one' ladies VII Is were entered. T h e mens f i r s t VIII f i n i s h e d s e v e n t h o v e r a l l , d e s p i t e b e i n g h i n d e r e d by s l o w e r boats starting in front of them. T h e s e c o n d VIII finished equal eighteenth, only nine s e c o n d s b e h i n d their class winners, a n d a l t h o u g h the novice VIII rowed well, they were no match for fitter s c h o o l crews. T h e ladies probably d i d b e t t e r t h a n t h e o t h e r IC c r e w s , finishing fourth in the ladies division, b e h i n d two national s q u a d c r e w s a n d the O x f o r d University L a d i e s VIII, a n d b e a t i n g t h e U L L a d i e s F i r s t VIII b y twenty-one seconds. Last W e d n e s d a y , 12th M a r c h , four c r e w s e n t e r e d t h e U n i v e r s i t y of L o n d o n H e a d of the River R a c e , for U L c o l l e g e s . In t h e a b s e n c e of t h e mens first VIII, the IC s e c o n d VIII w o n the event outright, beating K i n g s C o l l e g e I into s e c o n d place by twenty s e c o n d s . T h e mens novice VIII, rowing better o n their h o m e water, finished' fifteen s e c o n d s b e h i n d their division winner. A University C o l l e g e crew, r u m o u r e d to be the U L VIII, withdrew f r o m t h e l a d i e s e v e n t at t h e l a s t m i n u t e , p o s s i b l y b e c a u s e of t h e i r defeat at R e a d i n g . T h i s meant that IC I only had to beat IC II to win the Sir C e c i l P h i l i p s Plate, for the third s u c c e s s i v e time. Yet again IC p r o v e d their d o m i n a n c e of U L c o l l e g e r o w i n g . O n Saturday, the ladies VIII c o m p e t e d in t h e K i n g s t o n H e a d of t h e R i v e r R a c e . T h e h o m e crew's k n o w l e d g e of t h e c o u r s e p r o v e d to b e a d e c i s i v e factor, with the K i n g s t o n l a d i e s beating IC into s e c o n d place by o n l y eight s e c o n d s , over a twenty-two minute c o u r s e . T o m o r r o w , the men's first, s e c o n d and novice VII Is are c o m p e t i n g in o n e o f t h e m a j o r e v e n t s in t h e r o w i n g calendar; the H e a d of the River R a c e from Mortlake to Putney. F o u r h u n d r e d and twenty crews, i n c l u d i n g the national s q u a d a n d several overseas crews, will be taking part, a n d IC h o p e to do as well as last year when they finished sixteenth a n d thirty-first. CREWS F i r s t VIII: S t e v e W e b b ( B o w ) , B i l l B r a d b u r y , Miles Fellows, T o n y R e y nolds, C h r i s G e a r y , R i c h a r d F e a r n h e a d , J o h n U r r y , Matt P r i t c h a r d ( S t r o k e ) , Steve C r a m p t o n (Cox). S e c o n d VIII: B o b M a d d o c k s ( B o w ) , Steve Collier, Paul G e r r a r d , Pete Moysey, E d Hobhouse, Chris Adams, Pete A l l e n , T i m J o s l i n (Stroke), Ian S i m p s o n (Cox). N o v i c e VIII: Pete Tebbutt (Bow), J o h n Vedy, Keith Powell, Stuart A l l i n s o n , Richard Redhead, John Marsden, J o h n Hargraves, Mark A g n e w (Stoke), Mark C a n v e n ( C o x ) . Ladies VIII: Liz L i n d s a y (Bow), S a r a Gray, Angela Burgess, Jo Pearson, Nonie Ray, G w e n Griffiths, A n n T o n e y , Catherine Weir (Stroke), Bill Partridge (Cox).

11


TROLLEY The manager of M s s r s Waitrose Store Gloucester Road is very concerned about the large number of shopping trolleys not returned to the store after being taken home by customers. Following a visit to the college by his assistant Manager on Friday 14th M a r c h approximately 75 of these trolleys were recovered from various parts of the campus and restored to the firm. It was pointyed out by the Assistant Manager that his firm had in the recent past instituted a number of prosecutions against customers for illegally retaining the trolleys but this was not his objective

EDITORIAL

o n this occasion. T h e purchase price of these trolleys is £30.00 and the firm were in fact were in fact very pleased to recover so many. M a n y of these trolleys have been used around the college for different purposes and it may be that there are still a number which have not yet been recovered. Persons currently in possession of these trolleys are advised to take them to the Beit Quadrangle where the Students U n i o n Administrator M r s J e n Hardy Smith will arrange for them to be returned to the owners. Failure to return one of these trolleys could place the person found in possession of it at the risk of a criminal prosecution.

"black comedy ...devastatingly funny" ALEXANDER

EVENING

WALKER

STANDARD

Eye witnesses described my accident by saying that I looked like a crazed circus acrobat cartwheeling down towards the Sherfield building. I may have been in a topsy turvy situation a month ago but 1 intend to stick to my guns o n the subject of s p o r t i n g links with S o u t h Africa. A ll sport should be allowed to continue, no matter where or with whom the games are played. I am a proud holder of Rugby colours for a South African team. I support the Boat C lub's tour of South A f r i c a . ' I wish the Rugby club well'in their present tour of Holland. The cover photo shows members of F E L I X collecting trolleys for Waitrose.... I'm not quite sure how I'm going to distribute F E L I X this week!

A L PACINO a n d justice f o r all?

Cheers Colin Palmer F E L I X Editor

A JOF WIZAN PRESENTATION

A N O R M A N J E W I S O N Film

AL PACING

U L U T h e U n i v e r s i t y of L o n d o n U n i o n sabbaticals for next year are: A n n a Clarke, President; Nick Weeks, Vice-President Services; Robert M c D o n a l d , Vice-President Finance and Administration. A n n a C l a r k e is c u r r e n t l y s a b b a t i c a l P r e s i d e n t at t h e School of Oriental and African S t u d i e s ( S O A S ) , while B o b M c D o n a l d is sabbatical President at Birkbeck. Nick Weeks is a s t u d e n t a t U n i v e r s i t y College. T i m Hillyer.

" . . A N D JUSTICE FOR ALL" stamng J A C K W A R D E N c n d

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