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Fremlin P o t Darts final P3 IF Only P3 X-word P4 Sport p7& 8 Reviews 6 P

NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION

F O U N D E D IN 1 9 4 9

N o . 419

F r i d a y 14th M a y , 1976

FREE!

Telephone Bills- PO errors or student fiddle?

e PO backs down on 2 Hall bills C O N F U S I O N N O W surrounds the p r o f i t a b i l i t y of ' c a l l - b o x ' phones in h a l l s of r e s i d e n c e f o l l o w i n g M o n d a y ' s m e e t i n g of the F i n a n c e S u b - C o m m i t t e e o f the C o l l e g e Student R e s i d e n c e C o m m i t t e e (SRC)*. A t the m e e t i n g Wardens a n d student r e p r e s e n t a t i v e s heard that b i l l s from the P o s t O f f i c e ( P O ) for the u s e of t h e s e phones e x c e e d e d c a s h r e c i e p t s by a s t a g g e r i n g £ 4 , 9 0 5 for t h i s s e s s i o n alone'. T h e f i g u r e s p r e s e n t e d to the meeting showed deficits of £1338 f o r t h e B e i t H a l l P h o n e s , £1548 f o r t h o s e i n T i z a r d H a l l a n d £1578 f o r t h o s e i n L i n s t e a d H a l l . T h i s information was confirmed by the C o l l e g e f inanc e department o n W e d n e s d a y . Investigation T h e C o l l e g e ' h a s a s k e d the PO to i n v e s t i g a t e the d i s crepancies to eliminate any p o s s i b i l i t y o f meter error s at t h e i r e n d . J u s t prior to g o i n g to p r e s s F E L I X understands that the P o s t Office h a s b a c k e d down o v e r t h e i r b i l l s for T i z a r d and L i n s t e a d H a l l s . T h e y h a v e y e t t o report b a c k o n the b i l l f o r B e i t H a l l . T h e r e i s a strong l i k e l i h o o d that they w i l l b a c k d o w n h e r e as w e l l s i n c e o n e phone i n B e i t w a s b i l l e d for an e x t r a o r d i n a r y £600 i n F e b r u a r y . "No

comment"

C o n t a c t e d b y F E L I X , the P O d e c l i n e d to comment o n t h e d i s c r e p a n c i e s and a s p o k e s m a n for the E n g i n e e r i n g department s a i d i t w a s s t r i c t l y a matter I C a n d the P o s t between Office. T h e current s i t u a t i o n a r i s e s because C o l l e g e o f f i c i a l s empty the ' c a l l - b o x ' phones every two w e e k s a n d the P O b i l l I C b y t h e i r meter r e a d i n g s a t P O exchange every month. L a s t y e a r the C o l l e g e made a net l o s s o f £83 for a l l t h e call-bo x phones in h a l l s of residence. U n t i l F e b r u a r y , the S R C h a d b u d g e t e d f o r the same l o s s t h i s y e a r . H o w e v e r , phone

b i l l s t h e n i n c r e a s e d the e s t i m ate t o £ 7 7 5 . L a s t M o n d a y , t h i s figure w a s a g a i n r a i s e d , t h i s time t o £ 5 , 0 0 0 , i n the w a k e of the P o s t O f f i c e b i l l s . T h e f i g u r e s h a v e brought t o the s u r f a c e t h e state o f d i s r e p a i r o f some P . O . p h o n e s i n the h a l l s . R o n K i l l , subwarden of T i z a r d H a l l , c o m p l a i n e d that 'the phones are not maintained F u r t h e r , o n e of the properly'. T i z a r d phones i s currently g i v Mr K i l l w a s i n g free c a l l s . unaware whether this had been r e p o r t e d to the C o l l e g e or the G.P.O. Another incident occured last F e b r u a r y (197 5) w h e n t w o phone s i n L i n s t e a d H a l l wer e f o r c i b l y robbed. Authorities baffled A t present the C o l l e g e autho r i t i e s are b a f f l e d b y the phone b i l l d i s c r e p a n c i e s , other t h a n s u g g e s t i n g a m i s t a k e a t the Post Office end. Nevertheless i n 1973 a former I C s t u d e n t w a s p r o s e c u t e d for fraudulen t u s e o f G . P . O . p h o n e s a t I C . A t that time the C o l l e g e w a s c o n c e r n e d o v e r the number o f s t u d e n t s o b t a i n i n g free c a l l s b y u s i n g engineers* special codes. F E L I X u n d e r s t a n d s that t h i s loophole h a s now been c l o s e d .

AGM report rents to r a i s e the £ 8 0 , 0 0 0 r e q u ired. S o u t h s i d e h a l l rents w o u l d go up from £7.25 t o £ 9 . 4 0 a n d h o u s e r e n t s for s i n g l e rooms from £ 6 . 2 0 t o o v e r £ 7 . T h e m e e t i n g d e c i d e d that any S o c i a l C o l o u r s a n d A C C rent i n c r e a s e s must k e e p rents w i t h i n the national element for A t h l e t i c C o l o u r s wer e a l s o a w accommodation as allowed i n arded. Ian Morse and G i l l M c the s t u d e n t grant. C o n w a y , the t w o f u l l - t i m e s t a f f A 10% f l a t i n c r e a s e i n r e f e c wer e w h o work o n F E L I X , tory p r i c e s a n d a l l o w i n g them t o awarded S o c i a l C o l o u r s a s was float with commodity p r i c e s had John M c C l o s k e y w h o h a s been b e e n put f or war d b y the C a t e r i n g the F E L I X T e c h n i c a l Manager Manager, but the proposal met for the p a s t t w o y e a r s . w i t h a c o o l r e c e p t i o n . In v i e w of the U n i o n ' s p o l i c y t h a t r e f e c T h e meeting a l s o d i s c u s s e d tory p r i c e s s h o u l d o n l y go up h a l l and house rents and refeconce a year, a suggestion by tory p r i c e s . It h a d b e e n d e c J o h n D o w n s that w e o p t for a i d e d a t a n S R C m e e t i n g that lar g e f l a t p e r c e n t a g e i n c r e a s e there w o u l d be attempts to make s e e m s l i k e l y t o be the l i n e f o l the r e s i d e n c e a c c o u n t s b r e a k l o w e d i n n e g o t i a t i o n s w i t h the e v e n next year. H o w e v e r , this College. w o u l d mean a 3 0 % i n c r e a s e i n A t the A G M yesterday B i l l Gerrard, R o n K i l l and John D o w n s w e r e awarde d the U n i o n General Award by IC Union president Peter Teague. T h e a w a r d s wer e made i n r e c o g n i t i o n o f t h e i r s e r v i c e s to t h e U n i o n .

Jez conks out

J E Z , t h e R C S ' s 1916 D e n n i s fire engine, suffered severe damage when s h e broke dow n o n King's Road, Chelsea last Sunday a f t e r n o o n . T h e damage c a u s e d i s e s t i m a t e d at o v e r £1000. T h e f i r e e n g i n e stuttered to a hult with p i e c e s of metal left t r a i l i n g b e h i n d i t . It a p p e a r s that a c a m s h a f t j o u r n a l m o v e d Other i l l e g a l p r a c t i c e s i n t h i s f i e l d i n c l u d e t h e u s e o f i n t o the path o f t h e N o . 3 c o n - r o d w h i c h bent the other 'tone b o x e s ' a n d w i r e t a p p i n g to e l e c t r i c a l l y s i m u l a t e the i n - c a m s h a f t and b r o k e the c o n - r o d . T h i s c o n - r o d then c r a c k e d the s e r t i o n of c o i n s . A t e l e p h o n e p i s t o n a n d p u t h o l e s i n the engineer conacted by F E L I X c r a n k c a s e and s u m p . s a i d that e l a b o r a t e methods w o u l d be r e q u i r e d to a c c o m p l i s h J e z w a s t o w e d b a c k to i t s t h i s . H e d i d not s a y that e i t h e r garage b e h i n d the B i o c h e m i s t r y wer e b e y o n d the i n g e n u i t y o f b u i l d i n g by E x p l o r a t i o n B o a r d ' s IC students. K - 9 lorry.

E a r l i e r i n the d a y , J e z h a d t a k e n part in the F E L I X T r e a s u r e Hunt w h i c h w a s n a r r o w l y w o n b y the B o ' t e a m . B e a t e n into s e c o n d p l a c e wer e the R C S s e c o n d team o f D a v e D o d g e , G r a h a m P a t e r s o n and N i g e l Davies. T h i s w a s the s e c o n d t r e a s u r e hunt o r g a n i s e d b y F E L K a n d a f u l l c o m p l e t e n t o f teams from each C C U took part. T h e c o n t e s t a n t s f oun d the c l u e s so d i f f i c u l t that, i n r e t r i b u t i o n , some o f them dumped P a u l Bentley's car inside Beit Archway thus blocking it. A t t e m p t s t o p u t the c a r i n s i d e the FELIX Office failed because the d o o r s a r e not wide enough.


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Affairs . There w i l l be a meeting of IC Union External the on Affairs Committee Monday 1 7 t h at 12.30pm i n the U n i o n S e n i o r C o m m o n o

in MTwiwr- u n u c r j MINING H O U S E on Wed 19th M a y at 8.00pm Refreshments A v a i l a b l e Everyone welcome, especially singers. _ • v

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ASSISTANT SUBW A R D E N S (one m a l e , o n e female) are required in Falmouth Hall from the s e s s i o n 1976/77. A p p l i c a t i o n s are i n v i t e d for t h e s e p o s t s f single postgraduate s t u d e n t s . T h e Sub-Wardens w i l l be e x p e c t e d to a s s i s t the Warden i n h i s d u t i e s , d single study-bedroom accommodation would be provided rent-free. A p p l i c a t i o n s to D r D M M o n r o , Warden o f F a l m o u t h H a l l , to be r e c e i v e d not X

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T h e object o f the competition i s to encourage good writing of E n g l i s h . T h e c o m p e t i t i o n i s open to a l l r e g i s t e r e d s t u d e n t s o f the C o l l e g e E s s a y s must r e a c h t h e R e g i s t r a r n o t l a t e r than 1 M a r c h 1977. A t o t a l o f £ 5 0 i s a v a i l a b l e f o r the a w a r d o f u p to f i v e prizes. A s u c c e s s f u l c a n d i d a t e may n o t c o m p e t e a g a i n . P r i z e e s s a y s may be p u b l i s h e d s u b j e c t to the p e r m i s s i o n of the C o l l e g e . A c a n d i d a t e must s u b m i t a n o r i g i n a l E n g l i s h e s s a y o f about 3,000 to 5 , 0 0 0 w o r d s i n l e n g t h o n one o f t h e s u g g e s t e d s u b j e c t s l i s t e d b e l o w or o n a n y t o p i c of h i s c h o i c e . A l l e s s a y s s h o u l d be r e a d i l y u n d e r s t a n d a b l e to the n o n - s p e c i a l i s t r e a d e r . Seriousness and solemnity. T h e c u l t u r a l v a l u e o f the " u s e f u l n e s s " o f s c i e n c e . T h e role of imagination i n s c i e n c e and i n literature. T h e r e s p o n s i b i l i t y o f the p r o f e s s i o n a l e n g i n e e r i n society. P r o b l e m s i n the t r a n s f e r o f t e c h n o l o g y to u n d e r , developed countries. T h e future o f r e l i g i o n and the r e l i g i o n o f the f u t u r e .

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invited f be i d woman student w h o w i l l b e postgraduate next s e s s i o n , f o r the p o s t o f L a d y S u b Warden o f B e i t H a l l , w h i c h i become vacant with ? ~ ^ « i ' ° 1976/77. Single room accommodation in B e . t H a ! available_ a n d a small honorarium is paid. T h e I arlv Sub-Warden w i l l hp expected to take an active i n t e r e s t i n the s o c i a l l i f e o f H a l l and t o w o r k c l o s e l y arden. Applications to D r C warden o f B e i t H a l l , be r e c e i v e d n o t l a t e r than 28th M a y .

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. Today gasp. A t l u n c h t i m e , no l e s s . ir-WA? ICWALounge — • WINE TASTING SOCIETY Informal supper a n d t a s t i n g in P h y s i c s level 8 Common Room at 5.45pm. Wine competition with a difference. 5.45pm o n T u e s 25th M a y . Union S C R .

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ISLAM E x h i b i t i o n of books i n the Lyon Playfair Library. L e v e l o n e . 10th M a y t i l l 4th J u n e .

Discussion

SUMMER F L A T S If any on e h a s a f l a t they w o u l d l i k e t o l e t to I C s t u d e n t s o v e r t h e summer v a c a t i o n or i f they w o u l d to rent o n e , c o u l d like they please see Dave R a w n s l e y (Student R e s i d e n c e o f f i c e r ) i n the U n i o n O f f i c e .

FOR

SALE

P h i l i p s 202 e l e c t r o n i c d e c k , GP 412 eliptical stylus cartridge, Sinclair 3000 amplifier, Wharfedale Melton 2 speakers and KOSS headphones. £160. Contact F r a n k H i b b e r t , C i v E n g I, 31 W e e k s H a l l . T e l : 589 9 6 0 9 or i n t 4 2 3 8 .

Programme

A s m a l l number o f p e o p l e h a v e s a i d that they w o u l d be i n t e r e s t e d i n t a k i n g part in a t e l e v i s i o n d i s c u s s i o n programme. This w i l l be t r a n s m i t t e d l i v e o n B B 2 from t h i s S u n d a y . If any on e e l s e is interested, would they please contact Derrick E v e r e t t i n the U n i o n O f f i c e (int 3915).

FOR

SALE

A K A I 4000 D B . 1 y e a r o l d . Good c o n d i t i o n . £165 o n o . (Price inclusive of KOSS headphones K O 727B in good n i c k , dust cover and spare spool). Contact P a u l E k p e n y o n g i n the F E L I X o f f i c e Int 2 8 8 1 .

Bear IC on your chest! Wear the all new IC Sweat Shirt Available NOW from IC Union Office Only £3.00 and all profits to RAG! Colours: Red, sky-blue, navy, bottle green, maroon, black and white Sizes: X-large, large, medium, and small Printing: White on all colours and Royal on the White shirts


Fill

The Fremlin Cup Final

Moorhouse makes it at last! Last Monday s a w the culmination of this year's firecely contested competition for the c o v e t e d , d a r t s s i n g l e s , k n o c k - o u t t r o p h y , the F r e m l i n P o t . T h e r e c o r d entry o f 40 h a d b e e n r e d u c e d t o the e i g h t quarter finalists w h o were paired thus:- T o m A d e y v Andy G r i b b l e ; Steve Jones v Mike G i b s o n ; Andy Slack v Steve Moorhouse and A l a n W h a t l i n g v R i c h a r d Parmentero For those intrigued by c o i n c i d e n c e s a l l the t o s s e s came up h e a d s a n d the p l a y e r from the bottom h a l f d r a w w o n 2—0, though t h o s e s c o r e l i n e s might be m i s l e a d i n g with respect to the quality o f play i n t h e s e m a t c h e s . D e s p i t e the considerable tension involved, the finals were of a high s t a n d a r d a n d p r o v i d e d a great d e a l o f e n t e r t a i n m e n t o n the night. T h e highest score i n this round a n d , i n f a c t , o f the w h o l e evening w a s Andy G r i b b l e ' s 137 (60 2 0 57) w h o o n l y h a d 123 to get at t h e t i m e . Competent finishin g proved to be t h e d e c i s i v e f a c t o r i n t h e s e m a t c h e s a n d the s e m i -

no exception. finals were D e s p i t e the w i l d l y f l u c t u a t i n g score, players tended to f i n i s h together w h i c h meant that the s l o w s c o r e r s w e r e a b l e to t ake a d v a n t a g e o f the f a s t e r s c o r e r s ' poor f i n i s h i n g a b i l i t y . Thus Steve Moorhouse and M i k e G i b s o n r a n out winners] over R i c h a r d Parmenter and Andy Gribble respectively. T h e s t a g e w a s t h e n s e t for a tense, a l l left-handed f i n a l . S t e v e w o n the t o s s i n t h i s "best of f i v e " final and promptly stormed ahead with throws o f 1 0 1 , 100 a n d 6 0 . His bad finishing, after reaching a double top, was p u n i s h e d b y M i k e who h a d b e e n doggedly c h a s i n g him. H o w e v e r , t h i s p r o v e d to b e M i k e ' s last fling as h i s nerves b e c a m e the better o f h i m and Steve took the next three games i n s u c c e s s i o n . S o after numerous attempts Steve f i n a l l y w o n the F r e m l i n a n d d e n i e d M i k e the o p p o r t u n i t y of h o l d i n g both major I C d a r t s t i t l e s i n the same y e a r . Pau'

WhiVock

1F Only:. Y O U A R E about t o read t h e f i r s t g r i p p i n g i n s t a l l m e n t of a new s e r i e s of I F O n l y s . (Af t er an introduction l i k e that I doubt very much w h e t h e r y o u ' r e about to read a n y t h i n g of t h e kind). Well, if t h a t ' s your a t t i t u d e , y o u j u s t B O F F ! (I'm awfully s o r r y about that — e v e r y o n e s e e m s t o be under t h e i m p r e s s i o n that u s I F ' e r s a r e gentile young maidens, (oh, yeah?-Ed), so I therefore a p p e a l t o t h e m i n o r i t y w h o may c l a s s t h e m s e l v e s a s s u c h to f o r g i v e me for that d e v a s t a t i n g l y porn-oh o u t b u r s t . S o r r y . ) If y o u w e r e o f f e n d e d , d o n ' t read o n , b e c a u s e I'm i n a d e a d narsty m o o d ; apart from t h e f a c t that I've j u s t shut t h e d o o r o n my f i n g e r and d e f i n i t e l y failed my b l a s t e d G e r m a n C h a m b e r of Commerce exam (which I didn't really care two hoots about... m u c h ! ) , my dratted w a t c h h a s broken and t h e bath w a t e r w a s c o l d . N o w if that w o u l d n ' t puW y o u in a bad m o o d , y o u must be an a b s o l u t e a n g e l , a n d that means y o u h a v e n ' t b e e n at I F very l o n g . I w i l l , t h e r e f o r e , p e r s o n a l l y honour y o u w i t h a further free t w o - y e a r c o u r s e at I ' l n s t i t u t F r a n c a i s du R o y a u m e U r i w h e r e y o u w i l l be transformed into a normal p e r s o n or w o r s e , as Dave Chance w i l l tell y o u .

H e ' s been here q u i t e a f e w times, and h e ' s definitely worse. E n o u g h of t h i s r e b a l d r y . T o any of y o u w h o h a v e c o m p l e t e l y forgotten that there w a s e v e r such an article as ' I F O n l y ' , then I w i l l remind y o u . I t ' s I F ' s very o w n l i t t l e portion of ' F E L I X ' , where a n y of us c a n r e l e a s e our fee I i ngs on anyth i n g , and P i n g - P o n g (our f r i e n d l y , fuzzy, fungus-topped FELIX E d i t o r ) h a s t o l d me, in p e r o s n , that w e a r e under n o o b l i g a t i o n to keep it c l e a n . S o if you h a v e any emotional, p e r s o n a l or s e x u a l p r o b l e m s , forget about Anna Rayburn and l a u n c h y o u r s e l f into w r i t i n g an ' I F O n l y ' . It may not s o l v e y o u r h a n g - u p s but at l e a s t it w i l l provide I C ' s U n i o n E x e c with a b i t of f r e s h s c a n d a l to g l o a t over i n the U n i o n bar. Julia

Attack on critics S i r , - Often in t h e past I h a v e read t h e r e c o r d r e v i e w s a n d thought that the c r i t i c knew nothing about the a r t i s t ( s ) w h o s e record he w a s r e v i e w i n g : now I know that he k n o w s nothing. I h a v e n o c o m p l a i n t s about h i s r e v i e w of t h e t r a c k s , a s that i s a purely personal v i e w p o i n t , but w h e n he t a l k s a load of b u l l s h i t about the a r t i s t that i s d i f f e r e n t . T h e record that I refer to i s " S a y it a i n ' t s o " , by Murray H e a d . I w o u l d l i k e to l i s t b e l o w some of the a b s u r d s t a t e m e n t s made in the r e v i e w : 1. Q u o t e " . . . t h e b u l k of H e a d ' s efforts earn h i m z e r o for s t a r q u a l i t y " Murray head w a s for a c o u p l e of y e a r s the o r i g i n a l Judas in "Jesus Christ S u p e r s t a r " , one of the main parts in t h e s h o w . B e s i d e s t h i s Mr H e a d i s p l a y i n g support to E l t o n J o h n on h i s l a t e s t tour z e r o f o r s t a r q u a l ity, o b v i o u s l y ! 2. Q u o t e " H e might w e l l h a v e been f l u s t e r e d by h i s f i r s t venture t o a r e c o r d i n g s t u d i o ' ' First venture!! A s previously s t a t e d , he p l a y e d t h e part of J u d a s on the s t a g e and a l s o on the o r i g i n a l s o u n d t r a c k ( p o s s i b l y on the f i l m a s w e l l , but I'm not t o o s u r e ) . A s w e l l a s this he released an L P on CBS called " N i g e l Lived". T h e L P took t h e form of a d i a r y of a boy w h o c o m e s d o w n to t h e b i g c i t y i e L o n d o n t o s e e k fame a n d fortune, but gets in with different types and eventually ends up a drug a d d i c t . T h e L P h a s a f e w t r i t e s o n g s ; but the o v e r a l l sound is good, and w a s well r e c e i v e d by most of the c r i t i c s in the g e n u i n e m u s i c p a p e r s . T h u s , t h i s i s Murray H e a d ' s t hir d venture into t h e s t u d i o

and, in my most livible o p i n i o n s e e i n g that w e p e o p l e outside the literary field know s o l i t t l e about m u s i c , h i s best s o f a r . I h a v e to agree about the s o n g " Y o u ' r e s o T a s t y " , but a l l of t h e o t h e r s are done i n the u s u a l s u p e r b Murray H e a d s t y l e . 3. Quote " M u r r a y H e a d h a s . . . y e t to d i s c o v e r what he d o e s best". If he d o e s n ' t d o a n y t h i n g w e l l then w h y w a s a w h o l e programme d e d i c a t e d t o h i m and h i s music on C a p i t a l R a d i o a few w e e k s a g o ? S u r e l y , they must know what i s g o i n g to draw the a u d i e n c e s a w a y from the B B C s t a t i o n s . 4. Q u o t e " . . . o r H e a d i s low on t a l e n t . J u d g i n g from the frail vocals I s u s p e c t the latter". I f e e l that I h a v e s a i d s u f f i c i e n t t o s h o w that he i s not that l o w o n t a l e n t , a n d , in f a c t , v e r y f a r from i t . A b o u t the s o n g s : G e o r g e M e l l y M a y be a b l e t o d o a v e r s i o n of " S o m e o n e s R o c k i n g My Dreamboat" which is c l o s e r to the o r i g i n a l 1 9 2 0 ' s v e r s i o n of t h e s o n g but t h e Murray H e a d v e r s i o n i s how he w a n t s to d o i t , not how y o u want him to d o i t . What about " N e v e r Even Thought" and " S i l e n c e i s a Strong R e p l y " they stand out e v e n more than "Boats Away" and " D o n ' t Forget Him N o w " . In future I a s k ; p l e a s e d o n ' t t e l l e v e r y t h i n g that y o u t h i n k you know about a n a r t i s t when in f a c t y o u k n o w n o t h i n g . T h a t i s about a l l that I really w i s h to gripe about. B e warned, the reader doesn't like printed ignorance. Yours, W.P. J A C K S O N C h e m II

Nightline 581 2468 N?8

Sports Centre

int. 2468 Accommodation Office Nightline

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FELIX P u b l i s h e d by the Editor on behalf of I . C . U n i o n P u b l i c a t i o n Board. Printed Off-set L i t h o on the premises. F e l i x Office,PrinceConsort Fid, London SW7 2 B B . T e l . 01 589 5111 ext 1048,1042 ©FELIX,

PRINCES.GDNS.

1976

Many thanks G i l l , Ian, Terry, C l i v e & Dave K

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De price o' inflation BIN K E E P I N " d e w a s y e y e o n d e c a s h f l o w problem o ' d e r e c e n t w e e k s . D e bank manerger s a y i n ' d e i d e a i s f o ' me t o l e a v e de c a s h in d e b a n k , not d e bank leavin' de piles o' f i v e r s w i d m e . I f i n d i n ' dat d e p r e s i d e n t i a l s a l l e r y h a v i n ' t ' be supperlimented wid de b l a c k mail proceeds since de C o n f e r e n c e s l a s h e d on d e c a s h p a y m e n t s to d e top n o b s on d e e x e c b e r t i v e . It b i n s l i p p e d i n w h i l e d e left a n ' right f r e n i n ' o v e r d e p o i n t s o' o r d e r a n ' d e c h a n g i n ' o' de c o n s t i t u t i o n a n ' no o n e n o t i c e , d e c u t i n d e b r e d . I n e e d i n ' mo' c a s h f o ' d e fack-findin' m i s s i o n s to de Iron C u r t i n a n ' s o f o r t h . C r o t t a f i n d out on d e l a t e s t w a y s o' ' w i p i n ' out a f e w hummered

r i g h t w i n g b u g g e r s now d e p r i c e o' lead s o h i g h . D e N a t i o n a l Gumment got d e s c r e w s on d e e d u c a t i o n . W h i l e c.e p o p p e r l a c e U n i n ' u p fo' de four per c e n t a l l r o u n ' d e r e a l leaders like yours truely e d i n ' u p w i d t w e n t y per c e n t l e s s . " W o t about d e B a l a n c e o ' P a y m e n t s " d e y s a y " a n ' de GNP an' Brit Ley land." Pusonlly I can't see why y'all so fussed 'bout de pound Stirling only bein' w o r t h a d o l l a r a n ' 'arf in d e U of S A . If y o " a s k i n ' me de w h o l e t h i n g am a c r a f t y plot by d e gumment s o dat land In de U K get s o c h e a p f o ' de Y a n k s dat d e f a m o u s B u n g C r o s b y a f f o r d i n ' to b u y Ireland f o ' c o n v e r t . n ' to d e g o l f c o u r s e .

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s t o o d e n t s a f f o r d i n ' de g a s , I t h i n k i n ' . A n de w o r s t h i n g am that no one got de a n s w e r s s i t e on a c c o u n t o' de e x p e r t dat P . P o n g brought in g i t t i n ' de clues an' instructions wrong. D e d r i v e r s got s o mad d e y p u l l e d de w i n g off o' de o r g a n i z e r s car. D e r e us in de top o' de number one U n i o n o' d e s t o o d e n t s s a y i n ' to de w o r l ' " H e y Man, wotta bout de poor s t u d e s " an f i n d i n ' dey got de s p a r e c a s h f o ' de f l a s h c a r s . I t h i n k i n ' o' r e c h o m e n d i n ' a c u t in de grant ' s t e a d o' de £2000pa we push i n ' , o n l y I gotta t h i n k o ' my own w e l f a r e first. TP

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15. Rust cockney cow covering 1 7 . D i d s o m e o n e T r o y to get her? 18. N o s l i w dlorah 19b S a m e a s rear( 1) 2 0 . B a c k up a w e l l s u n g a n i m a l 21. Very indefinite g i r l ?

1. D e s i r e a pound from a d o c t o r , but d e p r e s s not c o r r u p t . 2 . A sort of j y n x 3 . D i e s a sort of comment to the a u d i e n c e 4 . F r o m l o s s to b a c k c r y i n g 5 . A c o r p in M a r c h ? 6 . N o p e n c e in money book gives a swindler 7. A lute is made from bublrieshes? 8 . G a n n y a l g y pound for tree 10.Same as shield 1 2 . Someth i ng w o n d e r f u I' 1 6 . (Spers) s a m e a s hoar 17. J u n o 2 2 . S c o t t ' s rawn 2 3 b L i z d o e s it, the farmers want it 24bNab( , N a 2 S O r , C a S 0 4 25. Soon 2 7 . A p e ten p o i n t s ? 2 9 . R u s s e l l i s l i k e a l i o n letter 3 1 . B o r n (fern) 3 2 . L o o k up

No correct s o l u t i o n s were r e c e i v e d to C r o s s w o r d N o . 3 4 T h e c u m u l a t i v e p r i z e of £ 3 w i l l be g i v e n to the f i r s t c o r r e c t s o l u t i o n drawn out of the E d i t o r ' s Hat at noon next W e d n e s d a y , May 19th. The Editor's decision will be f i n a l . Solution to C r o s s w o r d N o . 34 'Ml


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How to complain-effectively a)

A s a consumer

U n d e r the S a l e of G o o d s ( I m p l i e d T e r m s ) A c t 1973 y o u a r e e n t i t l e d t o r e t u r n a n y f a u l t y a r t i c l e t o the r e t a i l e r from w h i c h y o u p u r c h a s e d i t . Y o u c a n h a v e your money b a c k a n d d o not h a v e to a c c e p t a r e p l a c e m e n t , r e p a i r or c r e d i t note u n l e s s you c h o s e t o . E x p e n s e s i n c u r r e d due to the f a u l t c a n a l s o be c l a i m e d from the s h o p . E x c e p t i o n s not c o v e r e d b y t h e A c t are s e r v i c e s s u c h a s dry c l e a n i n g a n d g o o d s bought at a n a u c t i o n . N o r *can y o u c o m p l a i n i f the f a u l t w a s brought to your a t t e n t i o n i n the s h o p or i f y o u e x a m i n e d the a r t i c l e before p u r c h a s e a n d c o u l d r e a s o n a b l y have n o t i c e d a n y d e f e c t s . H a v i n g decided to c o m p l a i n , what do y o u d o ? T a k e the g o o d s b a c k t o the s h o p w i t h the r e c e i t . If y o u o b t a i n no s a t i s f a c t i o n w r i t e to the H e a d O f f i c e b y registered letter. T h e L S E l a w students at the Welfare C e n t r e c a n h e l p y o u w i t h t h i s . If t h i s d o e s not b r i n g r e s u l t s y o u c a n talte the matter to c o u r t . F o r a r t i c l e s worth l e s s t h a n £100 t h i s w i l l o n l y c o s t y o u £5 w h i c h i s r e t u r n a b l e i f y o u w i n the c a s e . A g a i n the L S E s t u d e n t s c a n a d v i s e you. In a p r i v a t e s a l e , for e x a m p l e , b u y i n g a c a r from a p r i v a t e m o t o r i s t , it i s up to

y o u to e x a m i n e t h e v e h i c l e . Y o u may and s h o u l d , a s i n any s a l e , c h e c k that the s e l l e r i s the r i g h t f u l o w n e r . R e d r e s s i s p o s s i b l e i f , for e x a m p l e , t h e c a r i s not a s d e s c r i b e d w i t h r e s p e c t to a g e o r m i l e a g e . b)

A s a letter writer

C o m p l a i n t s about t h e G P O s h o u l d f i r s t be t a k e n t o the l o c a l P o s t O f f i c e . If y o u get no j o y t h e n , c h e c k i f there i s a local P o s t Office A d v i s o r y Committee ( A d d r e s s e s at the Welfare C e n t r e or i n the phone b o o k ) . T h e s e are i n d e p e n d e n t v o l u n t a r y b o d i e s w h i c h a d v i s e the G P O about l o c a l c o n s u m e r n e e d s . A n o t h e r s o u r c e of h e l p i s the P o s t O f f i c e U s e s National Council ( P O U N O , T e l : 01/928 9 4 5 8 . T h e y a r e a l s o a n i n d e p e n d e n t body and e x i s t s o l e l y to r e p r e s e n t the c o n s u m e r . c)

A s an N H S patient

Y o u are l e g a l l y e n t i t l e d t o be treated w i t h ' r e a s o n a b l e ' c a r e a n d s k i l l . If y o u t h i n k y o u h a v e s u f f e r e d due to n e g l i g e n c e o n the part o f a G P , d e n t e s t o p t i c i a n , o r chemist contact the local Family P r a c t i t i o n e r s ' C o m m i t t e e . If the c o m p l a i n t c o n c e r n s a n h o s p i t a l c o n t a c t the H o s p i t a l Administrator. A d v i c e on how to complain c a n b e o b t a i n e d from your l o c a l c o m m u n i t y Health Council. Addresses at the w e l f a r e C e n t r e o r i n the phone b o o k .

Smug, uncritical IC B U R N T H E WORK S H E E T S ! N o j o k e ; I am d e a d l y s e r i o u s . B u r n t h e h e r e t i c y o u a l l c r y , but before y o u d o , L e t me e x p l a i n , for t h o s e of y o u w h o c a n i m a g i n e a w o r l d w i t h o u t them — no harder than to i m a g i n e l i f e after death or o b l i v i o n , a s t h e c a s e may b e , w h y 1 t h i n k they are an i n s u l t to i n t e l l i g e n c e . A n y o n e w h o d o e s not know what a w o r k - s h e e t i s s h o u l d be r e j o i c i n g a n d s h o u l d c h e c k that they a r e at IC or that they have not been attending courses elsewhere, erroneously. I d o not b l a m e t h e p e o p l e w h o produce them — they a r e i n v o l v e d in " m o r e important" t h i n g s a n d h a v e no time to worry about the e d u c a t i o n a l m e r i t s of t h e w o r k - s h e e t a n d l e t ' s f a c e i t , most p e o p l e at IC a c t u a l l y b e l i e v e they want to d o them — m a s o c i s t s ! I receive are The ones master p i e c e s among worksheets, butdoes this channelling and normalisation of my i d e a d o me or a n y o n e e l s e any g o o d ? T h i s r a i s e s t h e q u e s t i o n of t h e f u n c t i o n of e d u c a t i o n i n s o c i e t y . Whatever may be s a i d , only someone living in c u c k o o l a n d c o u l d c l a i m the s y s t e m w a s not p r o d u c i n g , a t al! levels, people with regimented, stereotype minds — an easy to handle commodity, but for w h o m ? W i l l they treat us l i k e a n y other c o n s u m a b l e ? Who are t h e u s e r s ? F o r g i v e me for t h i n k i n g that o n l y o n e s u b j e c t i s taught at undergraduate l e v e l - that i s conformitty, perhaps w e have some " u s e r s " h e r e . E v e r y o n e look up from y o u r m i c r o c o s m i c worlds, can you s e e any?

F a c t o r y fodder d o e s not c h a n g e in e s s e n c e o v e r the y e a r s , or up t h e e d u c a t i o n a l l a d d e r , it j u s t g e t s more s o p h i s t i c a t e d ; a c c o u n t a n c y fodder or t e c h n i c a l fodder. What about work sheets, that method of e d u c a t i o n that s h o u l d h a v e d i e d out w i t h p h l o g i s t o n theory: D e n i e d of the Z o m b i a c t i v i t y of putting numbers into e q u a t i o n s what c o u l d y o u d o ? Start t h i n k i n g ! Y o u w o u l d h a v e n o t h i n g better to d o than t h e s u b j e c t y o u c a m e here f o r . What w a s it c a l l e d now? Society s t r i v e s to negate e x p e r i e n c e : a s e c o n d law of t h e r m o d y n a m i c s o p e r a t e s in r e v e r s e , if y o u let i t , t h e w a y s in w h i c h y o u t h i n k a n d a c t w i l l a l l be d e t e r m i n e d for you. S o c i a l l y , what g o e s on at this College? Tradition demands that y o u get drunk every other night a n d the nights in between spent in c o n v e r s e on the art of t h r o w i n g up a n d what a s w i n e y o u c a n be t o w a r d s women a n d other minorities . From your first day the u n i o n s make q u i t e sure the mindless tradition w i l l never be f o r g o t t e n . There is a s o c i a l alternative. Spend your e v e n i n g s in your own clique expanding the f r o n t i e r s of b o u r g e o i s i d e a o l o g y . H o w much h a v e y o u e x p e r i e n c e d of y o u r s u b j e c t l i f e , e a c h other s i n c e you came here? T h e opportunities e x i s t , w h y not m a k e t h e most of them? B u r n the work s h e e t s . It i s a s t e p in t h e right direction and perhaps it could stop the turning that must be g o i n g on in t h e H u x l e y ' s f a m i l y g r a v e . Stephen Humby

d)

A s a rate payer

If you wish to complain about maladministration by a local authority,' or water a u t h o r i t y y o u c a n m a k e a c o m p l a i n t through that authority to the l o c a l Ombudsman. T h e Ombudsman is an independent C o m m i s s i o n e r who c a n look i n t o the way t h i n g s a r e h a n d l e d , but not the merits o f any d e c i s i o n made b y the a u t h o r i t y . C o n t a c t the W e l f a r e C e n t r e f o r further d e t a i l s . We are o p e n M o n — F r i 12.30 — 1.30pm; l e g a l a d v i c e o n W e d n e s d a y s , a n d are l o c a t e d at t h e top o f t h e U n i o n . Appendices 1. O v e r s e a s S t u d e n t s ! A r e y o u i n t e r e s t e d i n d a y t r i p s to S t r a t f o r d upon A v o n , Chichester, Cambridge etc or holidays i n the L a k e D i s t r i c t ? C o n t a c t the Welfare C e n t r e for d a t e s o r p h o n e I n t e r n a t i o n a l H o u s e o n 636 9 4 7 1 . 2. Wot h a p p e n e d t o G A Y S O C ? I r e c e i v e bumph o n g a y s from time t o t i m e , f o r e x a m p l e , they a r e h o l d i n g a c o n f e r e n c e a t the e n d of M a y . A n y o n e i n t e r e s t e d c o n t a c t me through U n i o n l e t t e r r a c k s o r at t h e Centre. 3. H E L P ! N e a r l y a l l t h e C e n t r e ' s h e l p e r s are l e a v i n g t h i s s u m m e r . A n y o n e i n t e r e s t e d i n h e l p i n g out for o n e l u n c h t i m e a w e e k p l e a s e c o m e a n d s e e me a t the C e n t r e . Sue

Kalicinski

I M P E R I A L C O L L E G E WIND E N S E M B L E Outdoor Concert T h e Q u e e n ' s T o w e r , Imperial C o l l e g e Suppe: O v e r t u r e : L i g h t C a v a l r y E l g a r : March: P o m p and C i r c u m s t a n c e N o . 1

TSCHAIKOWSKY : 1812 O V E R T U R E Q u e e n ' s T o w e r B e l l s rung b y the U n i v e r s i t y o f L o n d o n B e l l Ringers P y r o t e c h n i c s by the Imperial C o l l e g e Dramatic Society 1.00pm

T u e s d a y M a y 18 1976

A l l Welcome

FELIX Photographic

Competition The competition is open to all staff and students of Imperial College, except members of t b e F E L I X staff. T h i s year all entries must be B & W or Colour prints. There will be nine categories: B&W Portrait Landscape Natural H i s t o r y Photojournalism General

COLOUR Portrait Landscape NaturaJ H i s t o r y General

1. Prints must possess a surface area greater than 48sq inches. 2 . Prints may be mounted or unmounted. Only unmounted prints may be reproduced. 3 . F E L I X reserves the right to reproduce any entries. Only prints made on glossy paper may be reproduced. 4 . If there are insufficient entries for any of the categories prints entered for those categories wHl be judged under th-; General section. 5. Entries should have the name, department and year of the photographer attached to each print. 6. There i s an entrance fee of lOp per competitor. A H fees will be added to the prize money. 7. L a s t date for entry i s 2.00pm on Friday 2 1 s t May. 8. There will be cash prizes. 9 . T h e judges decision will be final. 10. Prints

should be delivered to the F E L I X

office.


JJUJJL

Seviews Books Alexander Solzhenitsyn — Gulag Archipelago

Only for strong stomach

vol 2 ( F o n t a n a 6 9 5 p p , £ 1 . 0 0 ) ' .

W H E N I F I R S T read v o l u m e o n e of t h i s three v o l u m e h i s t o r y of t h e R u s s i a n T e r r o r (before, d u r i n g and a f t e r the S t a l i n i s t p e r i o d ) , I thought that it w a s the most d i s t u r b i n g t h i n g I had e v e r r e a d . T h e first volume dealt mainly with the interrogation and transport of p r i s o n e r s — t h i s book i s a l m o s t e n t i r e l y d e v o t e d to the d e s t r u c t i v e labour c a m p s t h e m s e l v e s . It w a s not d i f f i c u l t to f i n d o n e s e l f i n such a camp; S o l z h e r i t s y n records hundreds of i n d i v i d u a l s t o r i e s . F o r e x a m p l e , the farmer w h o s w o r e at h i s c o w ; the deaf mute who hung h i s j a c k e t on a b u s t of L e n i n - ten y e a r s ! T h e c o u p l e s e n t e n c e d for h o l d i n g a s p i r i t u a l i s t s e a n c e ; the a l c o h o l i c who r e c e i v e d e i g h t y e a r s for drinking! And when one i n d i v i d u a l w a s a r r e s t e d , a l l the members of h i s f a m i l y wer e p u l l e d in a s w e l l , a n d a l l t h e i r n e i g h b o u r s w h o had f a i l e d to inform on them! We must not forget the t h o u s a n d s of

p e o p l e p u l l e d in off the s t r e e t s at random and g i v e n ten or t w e n t y y e a r s e n t e n c e s ! T h e picture is indeed horrifying. Very few survived their s e n t e n c e s - and those who did so were immediately given additional terms! What w a s t h e p u r p o s e of a l l t h i s ? P a r t i a l l y , the author e x p l a i n s , to p r o v i d e a s l a v e labour f o r c e , but p r i m a r i l y to f o r c e the p o p u l a t i o n into a fear of s t e p p i n g out of l i n e , of d a r i n g to c r i t i c i s e a u t h o r i t y or any a s p e c t of the s t a t e . T h e work for w h i c h the s l a v e labour w a s u s e d w a s not a l w a y s urgent or e v e n u s e f u l . F o r e x a m p l e , the S t a l i n White S e a B a l t i c C a n a l , b u i l t on a w h i m of the leader in t w e n t y m o n t h s . D u r i n g one w i n t e r 1 0 0 , 0 0 0 m e n , women and c h i l d r e n ( y e s , a n d it w a s p o l i c y to d i v i d e f a m i l i e s i n t o d i f f e r e n t c a m p s ) d i e d on t h i s one project — and t h e i r b o n e s c a n be s e e n in the c o n c r e t e of the c a n a l .

T h i s c a n a l s e r v e d and s e r v e s no n a v a l u s e w h a t s o e v e r . B u t it p r o v i d e d one more pit to d e v o u r the s o c i a l l y undesirable elements. It i s i n t e r e s t i n g to f o l l o w the c o r r u p t i o n , e v e n of s o c i a l i s m , w i t h i n the c a m p s ; the d e v e l o p m e n t of a r i g i d c l a s s s t r u c t u r e ; the e v e r i n c r e a s i n g u s e of c o m p e t i t i o n and i n c e n t i v e s in order to f u l f i l l the work n o r m s ; and the large s c a l e c h e a t i n g u s e d to r e c e i v e h i g h e r r a t i o n s . We are t o l d how t h i s c o r r u p t i o n l e a k e d out into s o c i e t y at large and we r e c e i v e other v a l u a b l e i n s i g h t s into that s o c i e t y . O n e s e n t e n c e , in p a r t i c u l a r , s t a n d s out — "out of every four to five city dwellers there would most certainly be one who at least once in his life had received a proposal to become an informer". T h i s i s c e r t a i n l y more d i s t u r b i n g than V o l One — I a d v i s e y o u not to read it unless you have a strong stomach' D. Everett

T S E l i o t : T h e Great L i t e r a r y H o a x by L B G o w e r s ( P e n g u i n e 60p)'. IN 1917 E B H a t c h a r d , a y o u n g C a m b r i d g e Don, published "Prufrock and other o b s e r v a t i o n s " under the p s e u d o n y m of T S Eliot. T h i s c o l l e c t i o n of " p o e m s " w a s intended a s a s a t i r e on E z r a P o u n d , w h o s e irreverent and f r i v o l o u s peoms had i r r i t a t e d H a t c h a r d . O n e e x a m p l e of t h i s f r i v o l i t y is P h y l l i d u l a , w h i c h , perhaps s u g g e s t s a c l a s s i c a l p o e m , but starts " P h y l l i d u l a i s s c r a w n y but a m o r o u s " . T h e portrait of the w h i m s i c a l but rather p r e t e n t i o u s y o u n g man in " T h e L o v e Song by J A l f r e d P r u f r o c k " w a s i n t e n d e d to represent P o u n d ' s p o e t r y . T h e next p o e m , " A P o r t r a i t of a L a d y ' , parodies Pound's 'Portrait d'une Femme' by u s e of a c o m p l e t e a n t i t h e s i s of Eliot' s t y l e . H a t c h a r d c h o s e the name 'TS b e c a u s e it i s an anagra m of t o i l e t s , the only p l a c e H a t c h a r d f e l t s u i t a b l e for P o u n d s poetry.

Music T H I S L P s t a n d s out, w i t h f e w o t h e r s , a s one of the r e a l l y w o r t h w h i l e m u s i c a l e f f o r t s of the l a s t t w e l v e m o n t h s a n d , t r e a d s the ground that g o o d m u s i c s h o u l d tend t o w a r d s — q u a l i t y s o n g s , great, c l e a n , p r o d u c t i o n , most important of a l l , p e e r l e s s m u s i c i a n s h i p — g u y s w h o are c a p a b l e of p l a y i n g w h a t e v e r i s a s k e d of them a n d of c o n s t a n t l y i n v e n t i n g w i t h i n any time—signature or b a c k g r o u n d y o u c a r e to c h o o s e . Beautiful, beautiful, sounds cover both s i d e s . Moody and y e t c a r e s s i n g l y soft acoustic piano/orchestra 'sound effect interludes slotted between some of the s h a r p e s t r h y t h m i c j a z z yet p r o d u c e d by the new w a v e a r t i s t s , s u c h a s B i l l y C o b h a m , H o r b l e H a n c o c k , and R e t u r n to F o r e v e r (with whom L e n n y White i s r e s i d e n t p e r c u s s i o n m a e s t r o ) , that are

A remarkable tale A further c o l l e c t i o n w a s p u b l i s h e d in 1920, which included the notorious and obscurely o b s c e n e Sweeny P o e m s . (In f a c t , S w e e n y E r e c t i n c l u d e s a g r a p h i c d e s c r i p t i o n of i n t e r c o u r s e b e h i n d the f a c a d e of w o r d s . ) ' T h e W a s t e L a n d ' , the n e x t to be p u b l i s h e d , a n d the most famous poem, p a r o d i e s not o n l y P o u n d , to whom it i s dedicated, but a l s o others such as Rupert B r o o k , (the f i r s t part i s an a n a l o g u e of h i s ' G r u n t c h e s t e r ' , and a l s o w o r k i n g c l a s s s p e e c h , cf the latter part of ' A G a m e of C h e s s ' , w i t h i t s g r a t i n g she saids.) These satines were initially circulated o n l y in C a m b r i d g e , u n t i l 1932 w h e n a p u p i l of H a t c h a r d ' s , F R L e a v i s , p u b l i s h e d an essay 'New B e a r i n g s in E n g l i s h P o e t r y ' ( a v a i l a b l e in P e l i c a n ) . S i n c e t h e n , the joke h a s s p r e a d far b e y o n d the

c o n f i n e s of C a m b r i d g e , and a s a r e s u l t of further ' e c p o s i t i o n ' by v a r i o u s d i l e t t a n t e s , what o r i g i n a l l y b e g a n a s a s c h o l a s t i c j o k e i s now t a k e n s e r i o u s l y by many d a b b l e r s in p o e t r y . T h i s r e m a r k a b l e t a l e of a p s e u d o n y m w h i c h b e c a m e one of the b e s t k n o w n poets of t h i s c e n t u r y p r o v i d e s much to amuse those more interested in t h i s a r e a , a l t h o u g h much of the o r i g i n a l humour of poems is lost, since attitudes and fashions have changed so much. The s t y l e of the book m a k e s it f a i r l y e a s y g o i n g , a l t h o u g h s o m e of the d e t a i l e d a n a l y s i s b e c o m e s d u l l , a s do most j o k e s w h i c h have to be e x p l a i n e d . T h i s i s a book I would thoroughly recommend, a l t h o u g h to t h o s e few IC s t u d e n t s who h a v e heard of T S E l i o t , it may c o m e a s a n e m b a r r a s s m e n t to r e a l i s e that they h a v e been d u p e d . Hilax

Better than Skol f i n a l l y r e c e i v i n g some of th3 p o p u l a r i t y they d e s e r v e . Trtere are a l s o s o m e e x c e l l e n t , n e w , a x e n e n on t h i s a l b u m (nam<3checks for Raymond GO.TVBZ and Doug Rodriguez — b i g futures there) and w h o w j u l d h a v e thought e x - s a n t a ; i o i d D o u g R a u c h c a p a b l e of s u c h f e r o c i o u s l y f i n e b a s s b u z z i n g , c o n s i d e r i n g the number of mantras and <V:rto-compositions the poor s o d ' s had to e n d u r e . S a n t a n a c o u l d w e l l be better off d o i n g t h i s i n s t e a d of a l l o w i n g C B S to r e l e a s e c h e a p o , d i r e l i c t , l i v e , t r i p l e — album recordings from some obscure N i p Astrodome. So w h i l e e v e r y b o d y l o o k s around for g u i t a r i s t s w i t h enough g u t s , b r a i n s , and sure touch to *avage s o m e h o r i z o n , a l b u m s of t h i s q u a l i t y go u n n o t i c e d , and t o y s l i k e Q u e e n get l a n d e d on u s a s the m e s i a h s of the new. y e a r . If you want

to h e a r a real g u i t a r s o l o , worthy of r e s t o r i n g y e r faith in the instrument, l i s t e n to the o p e n i n g m i n u t e s of " M a t i n g D r i v e " on s i d e two — a m a s s of power p l a y i n g and i n v e n t i o n unlikely to be h e a r d e l s e w h e r e for some t i m e , and the unstoppable beat makes the number more Invogorating than the proverbial knee-tremblers. Forget Skol — this refreshes you best. It's even more m e m o r a b l e for It's c o m p l e t e d i s s i m i l a r i t y to the a n a e m i c pop " m u s i c " c u r r e n t l y c h u r n e d o u t by the m e d i a . J u s t f e a s t your e a r s on t h i s b e a u t y . N o t h i n g but u n r e s e r v e d p r a i s e Is d e s e r v i n g for L e n n y White, h i s c o h o r t s , and the far-seeing, clear-thlnking, cognoscenti of A t l a n t i c R e c o r d s ( s t a n d i n g ovation) for m a k i n g a v a i l a b l e s u c h a good r e c o r d against recent trends. Great stuff! HIC


MUX

7

Bike

Club.

Bleasdale makes his mark Orienteering

Thrown off course THERE WAS definitely something suspicious about the a c t i v i t i e s of s e v e r a l of our senior orienteers last weekend. F i r s t l y , D a v i d R o s e n , running the O l y m p i c marathon t r i a l at R o t h e r h a m , and thus d i s d a i n i n g to t ake part in the Southern Navigator's E v e n t at Lower B o u r n e F o r e s t near F a r n h a m . Then, on Sunday morning i t s e l f , A l a n L e a k e y proferring vague excuses about not running, otherwise engaged, e t c , and g u i z z i c a l g l a n c e s from the rest of u s , who were p u z z l e d why t h i s particular event should seem so a v e r s i v e , e s p e c i a l l y on a b l i s t e r i n g May day. It w a s n o t . u n t i l we r e a c h e d our d e s t i n a t i o n that we s a w the ligh t of d a y . O w i n g to a l i m i t e d s u p p l y of m a p s , the o r g a n i s e r s had f i t f u l l y d e c i d e d that c o m p e t i t o r s on the ' A ' and ' B ' c o u r s e s s h o u l d run ' M a p Memory' - w h i c h b a s i c a l l y e n t a i l e d t r y i n g to m e m o r i s e the c o u r s e , not in w h o l e (perhaps t h i s fate w i l l a w a i t us s h o r t l y ) , from c o n t r o l to c o n t r o l . T h o s e new to t h i s type of c o m p e t i t i o n envisaged orienteering without a map b e i n g somewha t a k i n to kamikazi. U n d a u n t e d , we r o s e to the o c c a s i o n in d i f f e r i n g orders of m a g n i t u d e . On the ' A ' c o u r s e , C l i v e R e i d in 8 5 . 1 5 and S t e v e Webb in 105.31 managed to overcome the technical d i f f i c u l t i e s of the latter part of the c o u r s e , w h i c h f o r c e d Ian Isherwood to r e t i r e . T o add i n s u l t to i n j u r y , S t e v e later s h o w e d Ian h i s m i s t a k e . On the shorter ' B ' c o u r s e , w h i c h w a s r e a l l y the f i r s t 1/3 rds of the

'A' c o u r s e , T i m Murphy in 95.25 narrowl y beat Mike Welford by two minutes. Fortunately, both courses were not too challenging, though many w o u l d t e s t i f y that the d e n s e f o r e s t a r e a s were to be a v o i d e d at a l l c o s t s . E n t e r p r i s i n g l y , three of our accompaniment declined the c h a l l e n g e , and c h o s e the ' C c o u r s e , a c h a n c e to e m p l o y real orienteering techniques w i t h a proper map, and humorously picture the quixotic a d v e n t u r e s of the f o o l - h a r d y . On a c o u r s e s l i g h t l y s h o r t e r than the ' B ' course, Hans A c h t r i c k , a f r i e n d of A l a n ' s , found the terrain to h i s l i k i n g , recording 52.57; J on G i b b i n s (66.05) and Diane Benge (74.15) in c r e d i t a b l e times, e n f o r c e d the rule that n a v i g a t i n g w i t h a map w a s a much more time-saving pastime than relying on an everforgetful memory. F o r t h o s e w h o are i n t e r e s t e d in this mentally-exacting, though not necessarily physically-demanding sport, the c l u b h o l d s w e e k l y l u n c h t i m e m e e t i n g s e v e r y F r i d a y in the Union Senior Common Room, where you w i l l learn more of our a c t i v i t i e s , both sporting and s o c i a l , to w h i c h a l l are w e l c o m e . T h e next e v e n t i s on Sunday 16th M a y , in E p p i n g Forest, a Badge Event o r g a n i s e d by C h i g w e l l O C , where there w i l l be c o u r s e s for the n o v i c e and the e x p e r t — the c l u b l e n d s out whistle and c o m p a s s e s for n e w c o m e r s , the only other requirement b e i n g a modicu m of common sense.

Mining triumph p r e c i s i o n p a s s i n g from H a l let and Johnson, tantalising dribbling by Frampton and D u n c a n . Was f i n i s h e d s u p e r b l y by a p a v l o v v o l l e y . In the f i n a l G e o l o g y 2 A made M i n i n g h o u s e work h a r d , but through a g i l e g o a l k e e p i n g by M a y o , three e f f o r t s by D u n c a n w h i c h hit the c r o s s bar, and t w o w e l l — taken individual goals by F r a m p t o n , M i n i n g h o u s e were deserved winners. Congratulat i o n s must go to the o r g a n i s e r s a n d t h e t e a m s for m a k i n g it s u c h an e n j o y a b l e d a y ' s s o c c e r .

S u z u k i s and K a w a s a k i s . S t i l l w i t h the circuit, unfamil.iar M a r t i n f i n i s h e d 34th out of 3 6 , w i t h h i s lap t i m e s g e t t i n g better e a c h l a p . H e a l s o got a B e m s e e Championship pointforfinishing 10th in h i s c l a s s . T h e r a c e w a s won by T o m P e m b e r t o n on his Kawasaki 500. Gets e v e r y w h e r e , that o n e . T h e s e c o n d r a c e of M a r t i n ' s day was also for 1000cc p r o d u c t i o n m a c h i n e s . On h i s s e c o n d l a p , he had a " m o m e n t " on C o r a m s C o r n e r but thought it w a s m e r e l y too much power too e a r l y . On h i s next v i s i t to C o r a m s , he found a p i l e of m a c h i n e s on the s i d e of the track w h e r e the r a c e l e a d e r s had d i s c o v e r e d the o i l M a r t i n s l i d o n , F o r t u n a t e l y , no one w a s b a d l y hurt. M a r t i n f i n i s h e d the r a c e 3 1 s t out of 3 6 , h a v i n g had a d i c e w i t h 3 Y a m a h a s and g e t t i n g a h e a d of two of them. W e ' l l be b a c k later for the rest of the f i e l d ! R . S . L . Wilkes

Cricket

Narrow victory for St John's

St J o h n s C o l l e g e , C a m b r i d g e usuall y provide strong opposition and t h i s y e a r w a s no e x c e p t i o n . IC 1st XI t r a v e l l e d d o w n f e e l i n g c o n f i d e n t yet w e r e narrowl y beaten in a s u r p r i s i n g l y low scoring match. A n e a r l y c o l l a p s e and then a painfully slow accumulation of 128 runs left St J o h n s a m p l e time to s c o r e the r e q u i r e d r u n s . S e v e r a l of I C ' s b a t s m e n w e r e out p l a y i n g p r e m e d i t a t e d s h o t s , f rust rat ed by the persistent a c c u r a c y of the oppositions bowling. The c o l l a p s e was slow and the r e s i s t a n c e s t r o n g y e t the performance w a s feeble and v e r y t e d i o u s .

200 again

Soccer M I N I N G H O U S E triumphed in the RSM 6 — A - s i d e soccer competition last Saturday, by d e f e a t i n g Mat Met 1, 2—0 in the s e m i - f i n a l and G e o l o g y 2 A , 2—1 in the f i n a l . M i n i n g h o u s e f a i l e d to produce t h e i r e x p e c t e d f l u e n t , e n t e r p r i s i n g f o o t b a l l in the early league matches, though s t i l l g e t t i n g through to the last four. T h e s e m i - f i n a l and f i n a l were e n t i r e l y d i f f e r e n t stories with Mining house producing some exhilarating play. In the semi-final a brilliant move, involving

In the s e c o n d of a w o r l d s h a t t e r i ng series of appearances, Martin B l e a s d a l e took h i s K a w a s a k i 400 to the B e m s e e A c e of C l u b s R o a d Races at Snetterton (near Norwich) on May 1 s t . The glory w a s to be a l l M a r t i n ' s as our other r a c e r , N i c k J a m e s , had left his Velocette in B i r m i n g h a m ( so he c l a i m e d ) and c o u l d not c o m p e t e . I n s t e a d , he w a s r e l e g a t e d to r a c i n g the v a n ! P r a c t i c e w a s at 11am for the K a w a s a k i a n d , u n f a m i l i a r w i t h the c i r c u i t , M a r t i n took a s l i g h t detour a l o n g the g r a s s verge at S e a r s C o r n e r , d o i n g a sedate 60mph. T he marshals looked q u i t e p e t u r b e d ! On the s e c o n d and s u c c e s s i v e t r i e s , a more conventional cornering style was adopted. M a r t i n ' s f i r s t r a c e w a s the 100cc Production R a c e , with machines such as Honda 750-4s, Norton Commandos and, of course, Yamahas,

A W E E K A G O on W e d n e s d a y IC 1st XI p l a y e d South Stanmore at H a r l i n g t o n . A f t e r a very b r i s k start of 48 runs in 20 minutes (Tom Ghosh 31, T o n y P a u l 27) there w a s a l u l l in the s c o r i n g , but o n c e V i c k B r o w n (76 not out) and R i c h a r d P a s h l e y (52 not out) had s e t t l e d in IC w e r e a b l e to d e c l a r e at t e a w i t h the s c o r e at 202 for 3 . After tea, Chandra Kulkarni achieved the initial breakthrough by t a k i n g the f i r s t two w i c k e t s . T h e s u b s e q u e n t c o l l a p s e w a s brought about by some e x c e l l e n t b o w l i n g by J o h n G o w l e t t (5 for 26) and the o p p o s i t i o n w e r e a l l out for 66.

St J o h n s w e r e f o r c e d to fight and the r e s u l t w a s in q u e s t i o n till near the end. Some e x c e l l e n t c a t c h e s , n o t a b l y two taken by the wicketkeeper John Thombank kept the p r e s s u r e on St J o h n s , h o w e v e r not a l l c h a n c e s w e r e takenT h e y s c o r e d the w i n n i n g runs w i t h three o v e r s of their l a s t twenty r e m a i n i n g . T h i s w a s a disappointing performance c o n s i d e r i n g the r e s u l t s of the m a t c h e s of the s e a s o n .

IC Sunday XI v P a r k f i e l d II AFTER A solid start IC scored steadily with c o n t r i b u t i o n s from a l l b a t s m e n n o t a b l y J o h n T h o r n b a c k (26). T h e t a i l had a l a s t f l i n g and the c a p t a i n d e c l a r e d at 147 for 8. The opposition were soon struggling against good accurate bowling and Nick T r e e n g u i l e and p a c e (?) w a s too much for t h e m . H o w e v e r they managed to h o l d on for a draw at 8 6 f o r 8 . C o n g r a t u l a t i o n s are due for an e x c e l lent f i e l d i n g d i s p l a y ; s e v e r a l good c a t c h e s w e r e taken and the ground f i e l d i n g w a s very keen i n d e e d .

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IC retain U L U championship For the second s u c c e s s i v e year IC won the University of London Athletic Championship due to several enthusiastic performances in previously untried events and the strength and depth of middle distance running of the college. The day's athletics started, a predictable half an hour later than scheduled with the hammer event. Our three throwers all found this event a little difficult, but with a little determination and a lot of strength each managed commendable distances gaining second fourth and fifth places. Our one sprinter, Alan Gregory was IC's only sprint finalist of the day coming fifth in the hundred metres. The first s u c c e s s of the day came in the 3000 metres steeplechase, Rob A l l i n s on stormed round the seven and a half laps unconcerned about his two foot landing technique in the water jump to finish first. Ian E l l i s suffering a little in the dust storm created by Rob came in second only thirty yards behind him and two hundred in front of the next man. Whilst Rob Doyle, Gordon Chandler and John walked to

the Shot P u t t c i r c l e , a q u i c k s p i k e change s a w Dave Henton w i n through to the f i n a l of the 400m r e c o r d i n g a p e r s o n a l b e s t at the s a m e t i m e . The 3000m walk was attempted by D a v e L o r d a n d Mike "Stroller" Welford. A d u b i o u s s t y l e of w a l k i n g d o w n the back straight by some o p p o s i t i o n meant t h e IC had to be c o n t e n t w i t h s e c o n d a n d fourth p l a c e . Andy Davey salvaged a p o i n t from the 400m h u r d l e s , a n event in w h i c h w e d e f i n i t e l y missed I C ' s Dave West. With wet s p i k e s d r i e d in the baking sun, Rob Allinson p r o c e e d e d to w i n the 5000m at a steady pace, just fast enough to k e e p the s e c o n d p l a c e m a n , S t e v e Webb from t r y i n g a n y t h i n g f a s t on the l a s t l a p . A n hour later the tempera t u r e had d r o p p e d b e l o w 7 0 * F and s e v e n c o u g h i n g IC runners went b a c k on to the c i n d e r track to start the 1500m. T h e f i e l d of twenty r u n n e r s s e t off at a b r i s k p a c e and at 1000m to g o IC w e r e h o l d i n g 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 p o s i t i o n s . In the l a s t four-hundred metres t h i s had c h a n g e d to 1,3,4 a n d 6th p l a c e s with Rob A l l i n s o n winning. T h e order w a s r e t a i n e d w i t h

EARLY COLLAPSE

Cricket continued

KNOCKS OUT IC

from page 7

IC 3rds v M e l r o s e

IC 2nd XI v K e n t o n T r a d e r s

T H E C O U R A G E O U S cricketers of IC 3 r d s s e t out to do b a t t l e a g a i n s t M e l r o s e on a s c o r c h i n g May day (302 K ) . T h e s k i p p e r of the t h i r d s w o n the t o s s and d e c i d e d to bat. T w e n t y runs w e r e b r i s k l y s c o r e d before the l o s s of the f i r s t w i c k e t . A f t e r the l o s s of a n o t h e r w i c k e t a n d K e n C o w a n c a m e in to bat and s c o r e d 49 out of the t e a - t i m e t o t a l of 9 5 for 9 . T h e l a s t wicket soon fell leaving M e l r o s e p l e n t y of t i m e in w h i c h to s c o r e the 99 runs r e q u i r e d , a t a s k w h i c h they n e v e r l o o k e d l i k e l y to f a i l . F o r IC P a u l A l l a n ( G e o r d i e ) took f i v e good w i c k e t s but M e l r o s e s c o r e d the n e c e s s a r y runs for the l o s s of s i x w i c k e t s . It w a s a d i s a p p o i n t i n g performa n c e by the 3 r d s and some better b a t t i n g w i l l be r e q u i r e d in future g a m e s .

S t e v e Webb t h i r d a s e c o n d or Ellis; two in front of Ian T o n y W e i r c a m e in s i x t h . Imperial won the team trophy by s e v e n p o i n t s (84) from. R o y a l H o l l o w a y C o l l e g e . T h a n k s must go to a l l the a t h l e t e s w h o turned up and managed to k e e p the c u p w h e r e it b e l o n g s . P S . I w i s h w e c o u l d f i n d some sprinters. , „ b

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IC WON T H E t o s s and d e c i d e d to bat on a p i t c h w h i c h had taken a lot of r a i n in the p a s t 24 hours. The opposition opening bowlers s u c c e s s f u l l y s w u n g the b a l l around and the college team were s o o n in troubel at 18 for 3 . T h e c o l l a p s e c o n t i n u e d to 66 for 8 w i c k e t s w i t h the s p i n b o w l e r s g e t t i n g a lot of turn from the p i t c h . H o w e v e r two e x c e l l e n t s t a n d s between Trewhella, the o p e n i n g b a t s m a n , and f i r s t l y Rickard and then Young suceeded in g i v i n g the IC b o w l e r s a c h a n c e w h e n the opposition batted. F i n a l l y , with 90 m i n u t e s to play IC d e c l a r e d at 1 1 6 - 9 , w i t h T r e w h e l l a 53 not out and the p i t c h a p p a r e n t l y .becoming e a s i e r to bat o n . The opening bowlers s u c c e e d e d in c o n t a i n i n g the K e n t o n b a t s m a n , S p a r k e took 2 wickets and w i t h the s p i n bowlers coming on, Kenton w e r e s t r u g g l i n g at 45—5 after 2 wickets in 2 balls for W h a t t i n g . H o w e v e r , the b a t s m e n then began to get on t o p . Althougttthe ball w a s frequently in the a i r it hardly e v e r went to hand and K e n t o n ran out the winners by 5 w i c k e t s w i t h o n l y 3 . 3 o v e r s left to p l a y . Scores: IC 2nd XI 116 - 9 declared

Kenton 117-5

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