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HERE'S

TO THE

' F R E S H E R S G(U)ILOEO I t i m ' * o f t e n tSmt I gatecrash p l a c e s whore f r e e t s •*». baft. U s u a l l y I'm i n on i t , and i f not the rtnfn probably guarded too c a r e f u l l y anyway. However, >,, tt» O o U d a yrehhers B u f f e t I s c h a r a c t e r i z e d by the w i t of' t h e asaaters and tha wealth of a l e and song t h a t always f e l l o w s l a t h s bar. A l s o , I •mittai t o see what the freshens *»•» l i k e , bseansa i f a i l t h s y say about Sad year exams i s tr«a, I ' l l b© rubbing drawing boards w i t h them next year. So X want along. . i $ f i r s t , there seemed t o b-; a great number o f sssasidous-lookin g craasittes >»«Bb«rs around; Suspicious i n t i e way they Meraed t o be i o d M n g i n s i d e my coat pocket to, ma i f i t h e l d sr. i n v i t a t i o n . A f t e r a w h i l e I d i d see ease f r e a a a r a . Shay had been h a r d a t work on the t a b l e s o f feed, which were suae t e n or eleven o f f i c i a l s d i s t a n t few* the b a r r e l s , and I hadn't n o t i c e d them. Talking,to tbaa I found them i n w e b the same s t a t e that I was i n when. I a r r i v e d , i . e . bewildered by the 5 dimensional maze known aa G u i l d s , SM.S c u l t u r a l s t u f f couldn't l a s t f o r ever, and n e i t h e r e o a l d the bear, as Tony S i l l , G u i l d s V i c e P r e s i d e n t , opened ttu tSosm by p l a i n i n g ; tha absence of the Guilds •ftrasidesjt. However, he seen put h i s audience i n t o a. C h e e r f u l s t a t e of mind before i n t r o d u c i n g Capt. A.M. Holbein, asj irs«aoager metsiber of the O o i m c i l of The C i t y of G u i l d s of Xiondon I h s t i t n t e , who wis even b l u e r . H» ranged f r a n d i t t i e s about leaden spheres t o the august h i s t o r y of G u i l d s , and Ms ]4S» advantages of having the- w o r l d run by tiuildsraen. ttes s a i l e d an fonnonal gentleman by the next speaker, P i p p a r d wfeo howaver was i n agreement on the o f brcnm-oaggera. The Bonn p o i n t e d out that the _ of f r e s h e r s , about 400, was a record. Mr. Voelcker, s e t o t a r y o f the C i t y end G u i l d s I n s t i t u t e f o l l o w e d w i t h

sad

tf t h i s time, a l l the b a r r e l s were empty, and w h i l e a t i t was almost time t o move downstairs i n t o the tar, i t a l s o muant that the f r e s h e r s were ready f o r t h e i r f i r s t B o a n l a k a , and that the committee, v i s i t o r s , and, others-were able t o g i v e i t the t r u e i>ower and q u a l i t y of teas i t Bssrited. Sly awnoiy of what happened i n the bar afterwards i s Tony G i l l " a s M.C. introduced one by one not too c l e a r . the Captain of t h i s , the President of t h a t , the V i c e of aoswsfching e l s e , a l l o f whom e n t e r t a i n e d w i t h two Jokes o r So i t went on t i l l the cows came home, s scrag, or. more. and w h i l e they were p r e t t y funny l o o k i n g cows, i t a l l went 't<i c m t i r i c e the few remaining f r e s h e r s that G u i l d s were the on earth. Horace.

FRESHERS MINES

L A N D

A

FISH

The IHnes Freshers are not t r e a t e d w i t h a mere b u f f e t l i k e the other one. . They get a f u l l , b i g dinner as a welcome. T h i s year's dinner, on E r i d a y , the SSrd, .Baa 'as good as ever. Warming up p a r t i e s were h e l d i n v a r i o u s pubs nearby, though mainly i n the Queens Anas and of boar®© the Union bar. There host and f r e s h e r got together, met others and g e n e r a l l y got i n t o shape f o r the evening t h a t l a y ahead. At 7.50 sharp, they went up, saw t o i t t h a t the b a r r e l s of 'beer were not neglected, and a t e an e x c e l l e n t meal. She speeches that f o l l o w e d were short and sharp. The s t o r i e s , t o l d by students and'alders a l i k e , were a severatest of how f a r to go end a© f u r t h e r at a dinner, iuisjjfcook care of the c o m p a r i t i v e l y f orated p a r t of the evening. Then the exodus s t a r t e d Down t o the bar f o r d r i n k i n g the Yard. A new member of the s t a f f v e r y s p o r t i n g l y drank i t l i k e the t H t miner that he i s . The student f r e s h e r s then had a go, punctuated''by such s e l e c t e d p e r s o n a l i t i e s as the. other College P r e s i d e n t s , two C o i l d n e n that were found i n ' t h e bar (shandy f o r one and orange squash and water f o r the other). Crackers kept going o f f throughout the dinner and the Yard, and f i n a l l y the c u l p r i t , a prominent hockey p l a y e r , was debagged and made t o stand on the bar. the* Guildsmen at t h i s stage got a m i n i a t u r e beer b a t h - thus s a n c t i f i e d , they were allowed t o stay on. Thus the evening d l i w to a c l o s e , an e p i c was r e c i t e d and the T»rfe8 moved out. Before we go, c o n g r a t u l a t i o n s to l i r . Hopwood f o r winning the Yard i n 10.8 sees, and t o the Hon. Pomographer f o r drinking, h i s n e a r l y 5-pint pot a t one go.

A few f i r e w o r k s i n the quadrangle, a l i t t l e "Ch&rcoal', and then we decided t h a t the Royal College of Art hadn't l e a r n t i t s l e s s o n a couple of years ago and needed another. They very t h o u g h t l e s s l y had decided t o h o l d a "Red Ross S o c i a l " t h i s evening, to which the ".liners i n v i t e d themselves) at I I p.m. The people there v e r y courteously a or so i t seemed - o f f e r e d the Miners some refreshments - as i f any o f f e r was necessary. Glancing around the b i g H a l l , a b i g b r i g h t f i s h hanging proudly at the H a l l ' s end caught the eye - presumably the r e s u l t of countless man-hours of work by R.C.A. carpenters and a r t i s t s , and hence worthy of a t t e n t i o n . ; A f t e r due apologies, i t was taken down, a s iwas a l a r g e paper head, and the owners thanked f o r t h e i r generosity. The t r o p h i e s were then marched i n procession back to the Mines and deposited f o r the B i g h t . Thisvis the f i r s t time i n recent h i s t o r y t h a t any members of 1.0. had ' l i b e r a t e d ' anything from another College. A3 was i m p l i e d by one of the Dinner speakers, there might b«j 650 Gulldsmen and 850 R.C.S. students, but I t i s the 150 Miners that do things i n I.C. - keep i t up, Ulnars.' . 1

MINES

U.GM.

f i e R.S.M. Union meeting on Tuesday 20th ran o f f saootfely and according t o schedule. The main twlm#sfis was certain alterations i s the system of . electing.year representatives to the Union Conwittee. Post-grads, gradually increasing i n number, received special consideration and debate. An interesting r u l i n g here held that a l l post-grads be considered to constitute a 'year'; i . e . no * -iirtlaotien should he aa.de b e t w e e n W I S ) o f different years as at present understood. This raised same aetata ae 4 M fear of soma people that t h e i r P.0-, group might be i n the minority aad henoo never gv%' representation. The old matter of a plaque to honour those who fought so v a l i a n t l y to get certain amenities f o r students on the tap f l o o r earn® up for the fourth successive Union Meeting; ana was "again • left: pending. Metallurgists, apparently,' had jwtoa plaque towards the end of* l a s t session but I t cannot now he, looated. {It melted, perhaps.) Other matters touohed concerned the Mines B a l l , Morpny Bay (Hov. 18) and Freshers' Dinner (Oat. 24) A oertain o f f i c i a l i s responsible f o r r brightening up the Mines Union nestings by v i s u a l aits, a.A.G.S, with hia- . f i r s t attempt demon* stratefi conclusively that he taxom (and enjoys) M s Joe perfectly w e l l . d..t>,&. a n d B u i l d s Of temm navo nothing o f the sort, whioh i s nersape 9

BONY

NEGLECT

THE

ZEBRAS

Last weak the news h i t 1.0* t u t a t l a s t the gap between 'the Royal College o f Munio m & the Union.had been bridged, f o r some time the nor* sleep thinking members of had f e l t the need f o r some safe means of crossing Prince Consort Road;and on. Tuesday before l a s * o n e MoKensie o f Mines decide to remedy the aituaticm.Xa.V.ins a brush sad a pot of whitewash he started to daub a sabre, creasing opposite the Royal. College of H u d o . Unfortunately a passing policemen happened to smell a r a t ( a o VLhn%••'-Jn*enfta«, Kv •ageusia ), m& i n d i c a t e d that i n h i s opinion, s e t • <. -.-.r-alag painting- a t four o'oioeic i n the mos..,;.\ •, m m highly i l l e g a l tioe» The nagiittrote warn i n c l i n e d to agree with the aforementioned polioeman, and so I t was that MoKenaie l e f t the West London Megiotratee .gourt tea s h i l l i n g s l i g h t e r ; i n pocket.


FELIX PROFILE

J.M. I A T H A W A Y

Great confusion rpigns i n the Union Oiiice this year when Lrs. Robb. shouts "JohnJ", both tile President and Secretary answer. The only solution to the d i f f i c u l t y has been to label them John-filly and John. La3t week F J 2 L I X profiled John Willy; this week i t ' s John. John Murray Hathaway spent his school days at Felsted school, where he rose to the position of school prefect and head of his house, at.the same time gaining a l i v e l y interest in various sports, including rugger, squash and swimming, and (.') Physics. The nation then requested his services f o r eighteen months. lie entered the Royal A r t i l l e r y , and later, ;_ons officer cadet school, gaining a commission as second lieutenant. After four idle months i n an amy/ pigeonhole at Vi'oolwioh, he was sent off to Gibraltar i n charge of A many-sided job was this - i t a maintenance battery. included supervising regimental sports, paying o f f the keeper of the apes, ( whose presence i s the traditional guarantee of continued .British possesion of the Rock), clearing the wreckage of an exploded ammunition ship, and appearing as witness i n a Spaniel-, court. John's National service seens to have given Mm a love of big guns, which nay explain his nresent position as Union Sec. But as yet no blast or rockets have issued i'roj. the Union Office. . John flew back from Oib. i n August '51 to become a very green R. C.S. fresher. Runour has i t that he even Mistook At any rate he was one of the Dai Nicholas f o r the Rector.' quiet few at R.C.S. union meetings, and studied hard to remove the mental rust of unlettered Amy l i f e . It was not long, however, t i l l the Rugger club discovered him, and he became a member of the I.C. "A" team - one of 'the boys' who kept i n shape by continual elbow-bending exoercise i n the bar. Second year found him as year rep., Chairman of K.O.S. â&#x20AC;˘Entertainments Committee, and on the top floor of the old Hostel, where he distinguished himself by kicking a rugger b a l l through the glass doors. Later i n the year an old rugger injury recurred to put him i n bed during VJhitsun and shortly after Coronation. As a result he has had to join the spectators at rugger games, but i s s t i l l an enthusiastic supporter of the club. His other sporting a c t i v i t i e s continue unabated, especially squash - "the Hostel game".

Rags went out y e a r s ago, but we l i k e t o do something f o r t h e f r e s h e r s , One o f the happiest t h i n g s about them i s t h e i r capeolty f o r being retold; f o r t h e Rag i n p r o g r e s s i s often rather d u l l and longwinded, and always very a r t i f i c i a l . X remember howling w i t h laughter on being t o l d about tm Rag o f a l l t i m e : how some stud e n t s d r e s s e d a s l a b o u r e r s unloaded a heap o f road-mending t o o l s i n P i c c a d i l l y Circus, then dug up t h e r o a d , d i v e r t i n g a l l t h e t r a f f i c , and than went hone. A w h i l e ago I heard about the smart, c o u r t e o u s , w e l l - s p o k e n s t u d e n t who approached a gentleman s t r o l l i n g i n C l u b l a n d , and asked him i f he "would mind h o l d i n g t h e end of t h i s tape, w h i l e X c a r r y t h e o t h e r end round t h e comer. S u r v e y i n g , y o u know." The gentleman was vary o b l i g i n g , b u t , twenty m i n u t e s l a t e r , grew restive) and went round the c o r n e r t o r e g i s t e r a wall brad complaint . He was a s t o n i s h e d t o f i n d * s i m i l a r gentleman s t a n d i n g a few y a r d s away, p a t i e n t l y h o l d i n g tho o t h e r end o f t h e t a p e . However n e i t h e r o f t h e s e unfortunate victims of student humour was q u i t e so surprised as a Birmingham student who, r e t u r n i n g t o College a f t e r a d o u b t f u l week-end, found that h i s oar had been d i s m a n t l e d and reassembled i n h i s bedroom. I t i s a l s o rumoured t h a t a f r i e n d o f h i s , who comp l a i n e d a t the uncomfortable quality o f t h i s joke. had o c c a s i o n t o go home a few weeks l a t e r , leaving h i s o a r i n Birmingham. H i s r e t u r n t o College was g r e a t l y a o e e l a r a t e d b y t h e a r r i v a l by post, at h i s house, o f s e c t i o n s o f h i s c a r . Our own "29" C l u b has a n increasing reputation f o r work w i t h p a i n t and f o o t p r i n t s . Nevertheless, l o o k i n g i n t o t h e p a s t , i t seems that i t i s not original. Birmingham a g a i n . Two years ago dawn broke on a p u b l i c square where stood statues o f the mighty dead. A s e t o f footprints i n whit* p a i n t were seen on the s q u a r e . They led down Off one o f t h e p e d e s t a l s , i n t o a u r i n a l , out, and beak up t o t h e p e d e s t a l . On a n o t h e r oooasion a f o u n t a i n i n t h e same square poured f r o t h a l l over the r o a d . The water had been t r e a t e d with detergent . The y a r n s a r e e n d l e s s . Most old students c o u l d t e l l y o u h a l f a dozen, a l l muoh better than these. The London S p e o i a l i s H o kidnap somebody e l s e ' s mascot, and send i t t o Edinburgh, or round the Inner C i r c l e . "Reggie" o f King's College i s s a i d t o have spent s e v e r a l days on a tube t r a i n a couple o f y e a r s ago. I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e generally has no Hags a t a l l Pour years ago the Except- B o n f i r e N i g h t . I.C. Annual B o n f i r e was h e l d on the road behind the A l b e r t H a l l . N a t u r a l l y enough, the road, whioh i s made o f t a r r e d wooden blocks, caught firm, There was a memorable s t r u g g l e with polie e and firemen. Hose p i p e s f i g u r e d i n tugs o f war, and were t u r n e d on the crowd. E l e v e n students were c a r r i e d away i n B l a c k M a r i a s , and were f i n e d .

\!hen this year he became Seoretary of the Union, he v/as strongly urged to move from his perch atop the Old Hostel to a more accessible room, but firmly refused, saying that five f l i g h t s of stairs would lighten his work by eliminating a l l but the meat serious visitors. Actually, i t has not worked out that way - John himself uses the room only between the hours of 12 p.m. and 8 a.m. - but he s t i l l manages to be extremely elusive. Like most science students, his extra-curricular interests are non-scientific. They include the reading of classical literature and poetry, music (hot quite to the Mozart stage yet"), and ballet. He i s keenly interested in other people, and enjoys watching their antics on tube trains and c i t y streets. Since the simmer of ^88 John has become a keen Christian, and i s a committee member of the Christian Union. His practical fait h finds expression in a l l his activities and Attitudes. On executive matters he tends to have definite opinions which are expressed with c l a r i t y ind a certain restrained forcefulness. He finds Council meetings t i r i n g , beoause one has to thin!: like mad i f one i s to be of any use to the Union." Sensitive, esajressiVe, yet controlled, he can be easily hurt by a friend vino lets him down. Indeed this i s possibly his greatest fault - i f fault i t i s - that he expects the same high standard of dependability from hio friends as he does of himself. But i t i s rather d i f f i c u l t to find fault with him, and his acquaintances sum him up as an all-rounder, well-worth knowing. A. Grand Eviction Party was held by i x . J . Douglas and Mr. 3. George at their Sydney Street residence on the night of V/ednesday 21st Oct. Guests provided their own entertainment i n the form of beer and wine. Other entertainment was provided during the evening by a large police sergeant, an enraged landlady, furiouo neighbours, and a piano f u l l eight feet high.

I.C. was i n d i s g r a c e ; thŠ A u t h o r i t i e s clamped down. Any student a r r e s t e d the following b o n f i r e night, was t o be sent down. A grave P r e s i d e n t l a i d down the s e p u l c h r a l law i n funereal tones. Wo had a q u i e t b o n f i r e on t h e Rector's lawn (the t h e n m a t e l a n d o p p o s i t e t h e Union), and then wont en jaaaae t o P i o o a d l l l y , blocking t h e More grave Presidents r o a d s , and l i f t i n g up o a r s . and we spent t h e f o l l o w i n g two years r e l a t i v e l y quietly at Harlington. Rags went out when the Income Tax went up; when t h e wealthy c o u l d no l o n g e r send t h e i r sons to C o l l e g e f o r f u n . We have our occasional l e t t i n g - o f f s o f steam, but t h e y are not the r e a l thing. P u r g a t o r y and the Army, and June examinat i o n s a r e always t o o n e a r . S t i l l , t h i n g s a r e not too bad. Morphy M y i s r a c i n g towards u s . B o n f i r e night i s almost upon u s , and l o o k i n g a t FELIX, I note that three y e a r s ago t h i n week one o f our students climbed the A l b e r t Memorial and l e f t a red.lamp on topHe was c a r r i e d awev, o f course. In a M a r i e ,

m


F E L I X V I E W P O I N T .

Felix •THE NEWSPAPER OF

EditoriD.C.Kale.

IMPERIAL

COLLEGE

Circulations

1208.

A l e t t e r was p u b l i s h e d i n the l a s t FELIX complaining about the b r e a k f a s t r e g u l a t i o n s a t present i n force i n the Union r e f e c t o r y . S e v e r a l people have p o i n t e d out that Hostel';residents are f i r m l y opposed to these r e g u l a t i o n s , and do not ask f o r more p r i v i l e g e s as suggested by the author. Same - very few, admittedly, - argue that b r e a k f a s t i s a meal meant expressly f o r H o s t e l r e s i d e n t s and not f o r the Union as a whole. Throughout t h i s controversy, the Refectory has kept quiet, without expressing views one way or another - a t l e a s t , that i s what we thought. We now f i n d that lor. Baty has received a r e p l y from somebody who i s connected w i t h the running of the Refectory. What the l e t t e r says, whether i t i s an apology, an explanation, or a r e b u t t a l we don't know and i n faftt that i s besides the point. I t i s the accepted'rule that a l l accusations" made i n any l e t t e r s to the.. 23dftor are r e p l i e d t o i n the same columns. W r i t i n g p e r s o n a l l y to the author i s j u s t not done. Why then was FELIX l e f t out of t h i s question? People w r i t e l e t t e r s to newspapers because they concern something that i s of i n t e r e s t to the general reader, because tjhey f e e l that rsore people should know about i t . . Many l e t t e r s to 'FELIX o r i g i n a t e i n the d i s c u s s i o n s going on i n the Bar or the lounge, when somebody t h i n k s that more people than' those w i t h i n earshot should know the views or- complaints or suggestions that he has to put forward. Well ajfid proper. Now i f another person f e e l s d i f f e r e n t l y , o r f e e l s that he i s r e s p o n s i b l e f o r r e p l y i n g t o that l e t t e r , i m e d i a t e l y puts pen to paper and sends i t to the newspaper for publication. T h i s i s normal p r a c t i c e . The Refectory on the other hand seems to have d i f f e r e n t ideas. The question of b r e a k f a s t f o r Union members i s not a remote one, o r one concerning a very l i m i t e d number of students. . itathermore, i t i s a p r i n c i p l e , and not Surely i f they have "merely b r e a k f a s t , that i s involved. t o say something on the matter JELIX i s the p l a c e to say it. They might have, an explanation regarding those r e g u l a t i o n s , i n -which case i t should be put forward f r a n k l y and squarely before the student /body. TheJSmight have an Or apology "^rh£(&. again should be tendered s i m i l a r l y . they might be angry w i t h a'student poktag h i s nose where, i n t h e i r opinion, he-shouldn't. Whatever i t might be should be made p u b l i c , o r i f they so d e s i r e kept e n t i r e l y quiet - not a word t o anybody. To send a r e p l y t o the author of the l e t t e r i s very strange indeed. Have: they something to hide? Something which they would r a t h e r not see being published? FELIX p r o t e s t s s t r o n g l y about t h i s eoourrance and hopes that some l i g h t . i s shed on the matter % people concerned. I t i s as near an i n s u l t as was ever received By us and we do not l i k e i t one b i t .

Last week, g u i l d s held a union meeting. Most people would have c a l l e d i t a fireworks display. Not so l o n g ago, a union meeting was an o c c a s i o n f o r w i t t y debate; i f a subject -was up f o r d i s c u s s i o n a f e l l o w was expected t o persuade t h e union by t h e l o g i c o f his argument and not, as i s the case nowadays, by b l a s t i n g out the other persons views with 'penny bangers'. The new session seems t o he-i-e brought f o r t h a great many o f these i n c e n d i a r i e s . We hear of them at the hops and a t the Mines f r e s h e r s dinner where they t r e a t e d the one they caught as a l l such hooligans should be treated. Too many of our ' l e t t i n g - o f f steam' a c t i v i t i e s axe l i t t l e more than hooliganism. Too seldom do wa hear o f incidents which display some o r i g i n a l i t y . The worthwhile rags are u s u a l l y those with some fore thought and as organised rags axe frowned upon at I.C. perhaps i t i s to be expacted t h a t our outbursts of student exhuberanee should tend -towards hooliganism. But events i n the past few weeks show t h a t some members o f I.C. have reached a new peak i n rowdyism. I t was only l a s t yfa&r t h a t some misguided c h a r a c t e r was made t o a p o l o g i z e f o r throwing p a r t of a l a v a t o r y c i s t e r n a t the p r e s i d e n t o f Guilds during one of t h e i r union meetings. Yet. nowadays, i t seams to be considered the t h i n g t o throw as many f i r e w o r k s as the d u r a t i o n of the meeting'will allow. T h i s sudden d e c l i n e i n behaviour seems to indicate t h a t muoh o f the blame l a y s with the freshers. The freshers seem to t h i n k t h a t I.C. i s the p l a c e to continue their schoolboy pranks o f the s i x t h form which they have recently l e f t . Hence i t i s up t o t h e seoond and t h i r d year men to show the f r e s h e r s how to behave a t a u n i v e r s i t y - and i f example doesh't teach them, perhaps the Mines method w i l l convince them o f t h e f o l l y of their ways. „ Never l e t i t be thought t h a t e x p l o s i o n s , i n general, are to be deplored. Used o c c a s i o n a l l y , and with some thought, an explosion i s an e x c e l l e n t t h i n g . And this applies to the cacophony of horns, bugles e t c . t h a t o f t e n drown the words of those who do attempt to g i v e soma meaning t o a union meeting. On occasions, such d i v e r s i o n s are very u s e f u l but c o n t i n u a l l y to blow o r operate these instruments detracts a l o t from t h e i r e f f e c t . A union meeting i s to discus s any matter that concerns the membei-s o f t h a t union. Such matters are the provision of items on the top f l o o r s o f the v a r i o u s colleges (Mines have got t h e i r s ; G u i l d s are s t i l l w a i t i n g ) . A l l of us w i l l reap the b e n e f i t s n f these i n s t a l l a t i o n s which would not have been p o s s i b l e i f t h e c o n d i t i o n s at our present union i had p r e v a i l e c i n the past. Fusilier.

FASHION HOW

CORNER TO

HE

SMART

AT

I.C.

t

We a p o l o g i s e f o r t h e t e r r i b l e p r o d u c t i o n s t a n d a r d o f t h e - l a a t ^ I E L I X , and f e r v e n t l y hope t h a t t h i s one i s b e t t e r p r o d u c e d . Harried t y p i n g a n d c h e e k i n g e n d b a d l a y - o u t c a n be blamed on a r e a l shortage o f p r o d u c t i o n s t a f f , but t h a t cannot p o s s i b l y e x p l a i n t h e b a d p h o t o g r a p h s . These were due t o d i s l o c a t i o n a t t h e p r i n t e r s . ' As-everybody knows, John Harding i s i n r e a l i t y much mors h a n d some a n d . w e l l - g r o o m e d t h a n t h e l a a t 'photo™ g r a p h ' showed. Those who d o n ' t know i t jt&a now s e e f o r t h e m s e l v e s ( I f i t some a o u t b a d t h i s t i m e a s w e l l , - some d r a s t i c measures w i l l have t o be taken. etrjofahine f o r instance.)

WANTED. . — • ..... Copies of FELIX no's 23 (Skylon-Race, June.1951), 25 (Long "Vac T r a v e l s , October 1951) and 29 (Christmas 1951), t o complete a set.of the P i r s t F i f t y , f o r reference i n the Union L i b r a r y . O f f e r s t o Union L i b r a r i a n , °/a I.C. Hack. TO

LET. Cheerful back-room i n Queens Sate Terrace i n c l u d i n g Bath, e l e c t r i c f i r e , l i m i t e d use of k i t c h e n , - £2. -6s. Phone WEStern 8414. Kfft

SALE. A.houseboat which-would be s u i t a b l e accomodation f o r fi>os-students. Apply R.B. Poachey, Shenandoah, 105 Cheyne Witt,-. Chelsea S.W." 10.

W h i l s t a g r e e i n g t h a t most o f the people you see at I.C. c l o s e l y resemble w a l k i n g rag bags, I w i l l say t h a t t h e r e are some whose appearance at l e a s t does them some o r e d l t . You may be able to stand t h a t g r e a s y p a i r o f c o r d u r o y bags up In the c o r n e r a t n i g h t , but t h e r e are c e r t a i n o t h e r a s p e c t s t o a p a i r o f t r o u s e r s t h a t to my mind are a l i t t l e more d e s i r a b l e . Of c o u r s e , i f yon are i n the h a b i t of r o l l i n g about i n the gutter, or maybe s l e e p i n g i n C o u n c i l d u s t b i n s t h e n you might as w e l l not r e a d t h i s a r t i o l e , because a greasy p a i r o f bags w i l l be f a r b e t t e r f o r you anyway. To be smart i n I.C. as i n a l l o i v ? l i z e d so'oietlea, you h a v e t o conform t o c e r t a i n patterns of dress. The average ohappie a t I.C. conforms t o a g e n e r a l p a t t e r n i n t h a t his everyday wear i s some k i n d o f s p o r t s ooat; however, i f he wishes t o be r e a l l y i n the f a s h i o n he wears a smartly cut B o o k s t a l l B l a z e r t o g e t h e r w i t h some b r i g h t l y ^ p o l i s h e d - b r a s s b u t t o n s and sc^e s o r t of oollege i n s i g n i a on h i s top pooket. I n v a r i a b l y he wears a p a i r o f t r o u s e r s , p a r t l y f o r decency's sake i n summer time and f o r warmness' sake i n winter t i n e . E n g l i s h W o r s t e d and Gaberdine seam t o be the new s e a s o n ' s ' t r e n d , boys; and b y the "fay n o t e the Edwardian t r e n d i n imitation drain-pipes; they seem t o be a l l t h e r a g e at the R o y a l S c h o o l of A r t s , w h e r e I t i s becoming i n c r e a s i n g l y d i f f i c u l t t o d i s t i n g u i s h between the two sexes. The female memfcers have not succeeded i n c u l t i v a t i n g beards y e t , so a t l e a s t we have one y a r d s t i c k to d i s t i n g u i s h the lambs from the g o a t s . F o r shoes, the b e s t type t o wear are the f e l t - t o p c r e p e s , whioh not o n l y require l i t t l e or no c l e a n i n g but a l s o do not need t o go to the o o b b l e r s u n t i l you can f e e l the pavement under your t o o t s i e s . To l o o k p r e t t y round the neok wear one o f t h e o o l l e g e t i e s , .but a s i l k square o f some l o u d ana g a r i s h hue w i l l do just as w e l l . Headpieces o f the t r i l b y type are rare i n I.C.,

but i f you do r e a l l y suffer from oolds i n the head, a ' l i t t l e c o r d u r o y ' f l a t ' a t ' w i l l do. D u f f l e s are f a i r l y common i n I.e., but raincoats g e n e r a l l y f i t the i s s u e f o r the average bod. Thus i n t h i s b r i e f survey I have given yon, as the Ann® Edwards o f I.C., a b r i e f resume of Not that I expect current f o i b l e s in dress. any o f you to t a k e e g r e a t d e a l of notice of what I have w r i t t e n , beca,;,:...... you've probably a t t a c h e d t o t h a t s p o r t s ooat you've been now for a few yea.., and niether time, or l e a t h e r patohes on the elbows w i l l h i g h mutual regard t h a t you have for each other. From T o u r S e v i l l e Row Spy,

Samuel


1 EL.O

4 L E T T E R S T O T H E EDITOR

S i l v e r Collectioii.:. Bear S i r , I f e e l t h a t some comment i s n e e d e d o n t h e ! l e t t e r from t h e Chairman o f t h e Rag Committee which was p r i n t e d i n y o u r l a s t e d i t i o n . F i r s t l y , 1 am n o t s u r e t h a t I . C. n e e d s a s t a n d i n g r a g c o m m i t t e e , s i n c e t h e most s u c c e s s f u l rag.'! a r e t h o s e w h i c h a r e m o r e o r l e s s ' s p o n t a n e o u s , and w h i c h e r e u n d e r t h e d i r e c t i o n o f t h e i r a u t h o r , j S e c o n d l y , i f we a c c e p t t h e n e e d f o r s u c h a b o d y , I f e e l t h a t a l t h o u g h i t may w e l l r e m a i n u n o f f i c i a l , t h e m e m b e r s o f t h e U n i o n s h o u l d I n some way h a v e a s a y i n i t s e l e c t i o n . I b e l i e v e t h a t I was n o t a l o n e i n b e i n g s u r p r i s e d a t t h e sudden appearance o f t h e present committee laoityear,* and a l i t t l e shor t o f amazed a t i t s c o m p o s i t i o n . The C o m m i t t e e h a s d o n e l i t t l e t o j u s t i f y i t a «•;;; e x i s t e n c e , a p a r t from t h e p r o d u c t i o n o f a mascot 1 w h i c h , on account o f i t s s m a l l s i a e , and t h e e x t r e m e l y tame m e t h o d b y w h i c h i t w a s . o b t a i n e d , i s I a n i n s u l t t o a C o l l e g e o f t h e s t a n d l n g o f 1» 0. S u r e l y the Chairman's phrase "..glad o f f r e s h | inspiration™ s h o u l d r e a d " . . i n n e e d o f i n s p i r a t i o n " ! o r b e t t e r s t i l l " . . i n need o f e x t e r m i n a t i o n " . P S . . T u e s d a y 26ths faithfully, 1 Today's meeting d i d I n o t h i n g to. a l t e r E. J . G u t h r i e . < Y

my o p i n i o n .

b.J.G.

o

u

r

f o rLunch-hour

Concerts

Dear S i r , There has been f a i r l y widespread c r i t i c i s m o f t h e p r a c t i c e a d o p t e d by t h e M u s i c a l S o c i e t y , o f making a S i l v e r C o l l e c t i o n a t Lunch-hour Concerts. The c o m m i t t e e w o u l d l i k e t o r e p l y t o these c r i t i c i s m s as expressed i n F e l i x , by f i r s t o u t l i n i n g the p o l i c y of the series o f r e c i t a l s , and s e c o n d l y e x p l a i n i n g how t h i s p o l i c y i s c o n d i t i o n e d by f i n a n c i a l r e s t r i c t i o n s . It i s the aim i n g i v i n g these concerts t o f i r s t l y encourage the performance o f music a t a h i g h s t a n d a r d w i t h i n t h e c o l l e g e , and s e c o n d l y t o encourage the a p p r e c i a t i o n o f music, by p r o v i d i n g a few c o n c e r t s (two o r three p e r t e r m ) , a t the h i g h e s t p o s s i b l e standard, g i v e n by p r o f e s s i o n a l The s e r v i c e s o f t h e l a t t e r a r e g i v e n musicians. f o r a n o m i n a l sum; a sum i n f a c t t o c o v e r e x p e n s e s , b u t t h i s i s s t i l l b y no means a n e g l i gible figure. Even t o give a r e c i t a l i n v o l v i n g o n l y s t u d e n t s , t h e c o s t i s b y no means z e r o , f o r t h e r e a r e always i n c i d e n t a l e x p e n s e s .

8

Botany 3

S

R.C.S.

Dear S i r ,

1

I was i n t e r e s t e d t o read i n the l a s t FELIX a l e t t e r I from a member o f the I.C. Hag committee, and I f e e l that f r e s h e r s may have obtained an unfavourable impression of ) t h i s committee's work. . During the l a s t year, many Words ! were w r i t t e n and spoken t e l l i n g us that 1953 was t o be « ' t r u l y I m p e r i a l year.'' However only one rag, other than t h e ! annual events, took p l a c e . Even t h i s had to be saved from j becoming an anticlimax, by the 'Guild's Karch'. j . I t i s thus obvious t h a t , so f a r , t h i s committee has f a i l e d i n i t s s e l f - a l l o t t e d tack. 3efore the Rag committee c.:_n succeed i t mU3t be supported o f f i c i a l l y by the Union. A l t e r n a t i v e l y , « new.ooraaittee should'be formed, p r e f e r a b l y made o f thoae who have n t l o s t t h e . a r t o f a c t i n g without 'an unneoSf^aary amount of d i s c u s s i o n . The sadly deceased "29" c l u b was w e l l - v e r s e d i n t h i e asrtj and t h e Hag committee wottlet do w e l l t o ao-operate some o f i t s former members.

J I | I j I I

I t «ay he ( a i d that rage a r e impossible a t I.C. due t o | the h i g h p r o p o r t i o n o f non-combatants(i.e. t o brown-baggers'. I and the r e l a t i v e l y s m e l l numbers a v a i l a b l e f o r evening rags- 1 The t e s t o f t h i s padding i s o b v i o u s l y i n the e a t i n g . So, I suggest the I.C. Bag oommittee should organize a rag, and I b e l i e v e even then, i n t h e glass, tower, - w i l l be s u r p r i s e d a t t h e w i l l i n g and ready response.flSom the Members of the Union, Tours s i n c e r e l y , Siluria.

j | S j

Sir, I n t h e d e p t h s o f C e n t r a l A f r i c a , a l a n g u a g e known! a a - K i t c h e n K a f i r i s sometimes.epoken by Europeans t c l t h e n a t i v e s . On my a r r i v a l t h e r e , I TOO p r e s e n t e d 1 w i t h a p h r a s e b o o k o f t h e laB.gtj.age a n d f o u n d t h a t I "the t e r m I o w a m e a n t , 'when t r a n s l a t e d * i c e . S i r , I 1 l e a v e you t o d r a w y o u r own c o n c l u s i o n s . ,

H e n c e , t h e d e c i s i o n t h a t h a s t o be t a k e n w i t h regard t o the cost o f these concerts, i s 'How much money f r o m t h e S.C.C. g r a n t c a n be v o t e d f o r them, w i t h o u t c u r t a i l i n g a n y o f t h e other equally valuable a c t i v i t i e s o f the Society; a p t i v i t i e s such as t h e c h o i r , o r c h e s t r a , and t h e library. I f the c o s t o f t h e r e c i t a l s draws t o o h e a v i l y on o u r r e s o u r c e s , t h e n t h e s u b s c r i p t i o n s p a i d b y o t h e r members o f t h e S o c i e t y , - f o r e x a m p l e t h e c h o i r members, becomes u n r e a s o n a b l y high.I t i s deemed u n f a i r t h a t t h e s e o t h e r members should subsidise the r e c i t a l s w i t h which they have no d i r e c t c o n n e c t i o n . The c o m m i t t e e b e l i e v e t h a t a f a i r b a l a n c e c a n be a c h i e v e d b y c o v e r i n g about h a l f t h e cost o f these c o n c e r t s from t h e S.C.C. g r a n t a n d a s k i n g t h e c o n c e r t - g o e r s t o contribute the d e f i c i t . I n t h i s way t h e s t a n d a r d o f t h e r e c i t a l s c a n be m a i n t a i n e d , w i t h o u t a n y 'indue s t r a i n o n t h e S o c i e t y a s a w h o l e . H o w e v e r t h e c o m m i t t e e w o u l d l i k e t o make i t quite plain that to give or not to give to the c o l l e c t i o n i s l e f t e n t i r e l y to the i n d i v i d u a l ' s discretion. T h e r e i s no m o r a l o b l i g a t i o n t o g i v e ' s o m e t h i n g t o t h e p o t ' , i f y o u h a v e b e e n t o one o f the c o n c e r t s . B u t t h e c o n c e r t s c o s t money, a n d we b e l i e v e t h a t we may f a i r l y a s k t h a t t h e h a l f c o s t o f them be p r o v i d e d b y t h e c o n c e r t - g o e r s . In s p i t e o f t h i s i t i s b e t t e r t h a t t h e C o u n c i l Room s h o u l d b e f u l l , a n d t h e p o t e m p t y , t h a n t h a t b o t h s h o u l d be h a l f f u l l , t h e m i s s i n g h a l f o f t h e audience h a v i n g been p u t o f f by t h e thought o f y e t f u r t h e r f i n a n c i a l demands. F i n a l l y may we s a y t h a t we a r e t h e f i r s t t o r e g r e t t o have t o ask f o r even a v o l u n t a r y c o l l e c tion; to us the f r e e r the music i n I m p e r i a l College, the b e t t e r .

A.J.

Tours f a i t h f u l l y , F r y ,President.. M u s i c a l Sotfiety.

Dear S i r ,

I t i s w i t h great emphasis that I wish t o r e f u t e t h e -, a l l e g a t i o n s of Mr. M i c h a e l Baty, p u b l i s h e d i n your l a s t i s s u e , t h a t H o s t e l resieiehts i n g e n e r a l a r e opposed t o t h e Road, I 777, L a n e s t r e e t a v e n u e "serving of b r e a k f a s t i n the R e f e c t o r y t o .non-residents. L o n d o n , S.T?.&. i 16.10,53,. Since my own residence i n the H o s t e l dates only from The C u r a t o r o f G r a n v i l l e H o u s e . t h i s term, I .do not presume t o represent H o s t e l o p i n i o n ; °/o T h e E d i t o r , I but i n my c o n v e r s a t i o n w i t h both r e s i d e n t s and nonFelix. I r e s i d e n t s s i n c e l a s t term when the matter was f i r s t r a i s e d , Dear S i r , J not one man o r woman has v o i c e d the o p i n i o n that the r u l e •• C h a i r o f g a n t a g a m y . I at present i n f o r c e should remain. Further , no c l a u s e i n t h e * r a t i o n i n g o r c a t e r i n g r e g u l a t i o n s can be advanced as a In r e p l y to your advertisement i n F e l i x o f I reason f o r preventing any Union member - o r h i s guest 1 6 t h . O c t o b e r , 1953, I w o u l d l i k e t o submit an 1 from buying", a px-oper meal i n the R e f e c t o r y a t any time when a p p l i c a t i o n f o r t h e C h a i r o f Pantagamy t e n a b l e a t I i t i s open. The present r u l e has no b a s i s e i t h e r upon the U n i v e r s i t y o f London. I law or upon o p i n i o n : l e t us then have i t removed without delay. I t i s o f f e n s i v e t o our sense o f f a i r p l a y , and i t I was b o r n a g o o d d e a l l a t e r t h a n 3 p.r.. on I l a a s k e l e t o n i n our cupboard which I f o r one would rather J u n e 1 5 t h . 1887', about. 4.30 p.m.. t o be p r e c i s e . ; not hear being r a t t l e d by my f r i e n d s from outsid e t h e I h a v e h a d p a n t a s f o r 1 5 y e a r s , am p r o f i c i e n t i n College. • the use o f a pantograph, and p a n t a g r u e l i s m i s a | s p e c i a l i t y o f mine. With these q u a l i f i c a t i o n s i F i n a l l y I wish t o thank Mr. Baty through your coltsmo I am s u r e , y o u w i l l f i n d me u n f i t t e d f o r a n y p o s t . I f o r blaming the a f f a i r on the H o s t e l r e s i d e n t s ; i t was t h a t p r i c k which spurred me on t o w r i t e i n support o f h i s cause. . T h e o p p o r t u n i t y h a s n o t y e t a r i s e n f o r me t o I I f i r m l y b e l i e v e that n o t one r e s i d e n t deserves Mr. Baty's d i s c o v e r my t e a c h i n g a b i l i t i e s ( i n t h e A c a d e m i c I remarks, and I e a r n e s t l y hope t h a t Mr. Baty w i l l have t h e f i e l d ) , b u t I am s u r e y o u w o u l d be i n t e r e s t e d i n I r i g h t t o t r e a t h i m s e l f era?, h i p a r t n e r t o b r e a k f a s t a t my e x p e r i e n c e s ! ( i n o t h e r f i e l d s . ) \ C o l l e g e a f t e r the Comr.. . B e l l . I t i s a r i g h t which should not need t o be fought f o r . _ — I My k n o w l e d g e o f E n g l i s h i s p a n e g y r i c a l , b u t lours f s l t h f u l l y , •I ..am w i l l i n g t o l e a r n . E n g l i s h , I mean. I J . Soger G©»SX«y. - j i J(9S»*ij*er £241 s a l a r y t o t a l l y i n a d e q u a t e , b u t ( M d Hostel.) v m u l A fee w i l l i n g t o a c c e p t £ 2 4 2 . J "Traveller?

j

I

Tours

fitfully, Hieranimus Bosoh.


,

S U M

The Innate def i l e n c i e s of the establishment -sere not evident on f i r s t ins} a t i o n and we, d i r e c t from the lodgings •bureau and u n s k i l l e d n the a r t of ' d i g g i n g , decided that the p l a c e c o u l d be '< one something w i t h " . . Admittedly, not piano f u l l eight f e e t high nor a f i r e every b e d - s i t t e r has bucket, f u l l of t e a leaves , beside each bed nor y e t an enormous c...... ode beneath. Nevertheless, s a i d we, i t had p o s s i b i l i t i e s as a "den". . 1

SB A l l members o f I . C . U n i o n are

e n t i t l e d to

have

two f r e e t i c k e t s f o r the U n i o n L i b r a r y , b u t o n l y a f r a c t i o n o f them t a k e any advantage o f i t . The L i b r a r y i s a d m i r a b l y secluded* i t i s approached t h r o u g h t h e G u i l d s L i b r a r y , which i s above l u e e n i e s and i t has a fSts.( too few) easy c h a i r s , p l e n t y o f l i g h t , and a number o f good b o o k s . Most new books are bought by the L i b r a r y Committer, whioh c o n s i s t s p r i n c i p a l l y o f s t u d e n t s , though a number a r e p r o v i ded by a g r a n t from T o u c h s t o n e . Touvhstone s p e c i a l i s e s i n p r o v i d i n g books whioh a r e u n l i k e l y t o be bought o r d i n a r i l y by t h e Committ e e on a c c o u n t of t h e i r expense and l i m i t e d a p p e a l . The s e c t i o n on P h i l o s o p h y has r e c e n t l y been s t r e n gthened i n t h i s way, and s c i e n t i f i c b i o g r a p h y w i l l r e c e i v e t h e same t r e a t m e n t f a i r l y soon. As f o r the books bought by the Committee, a l l the r e v i e w s a r e d i l i g e n t l y scanned, and recommendat i o n s made. A l l s u g g e s t i o n s r e c e i v e d from r e a d e r s ssee.also c a r e f u l l y considered,, As a r e s u l t , the f i r s t b a t c h o f new books f o r t h i s s e s s i o n , e l e v e n works i n a l l , a v a i l a b l e any day new, w i l l include E s t h e r C o s t e l l o , by M o n s e r r a t . Too L a t e the P h a l a r o p e , by A l a n P a t o n . i h i e i e a l w r i t i n g s , , by Taugban W i l l i a m s . The s h o r t s t o r i e B of Conan D o y l e , Hanged, and I n n o c e n t ? by Ss S i l v e r m a n , e t s . More f o r Timothy, By V i c t o r Gollan.cz. B o l d n e s s be my f r i e n d , by R. Pape. And a f u l l s u p p o r t i n g programme which I cannot remember o f f h a n d . Among the new Toucnstone a d d i t i o n s are t h r e e of the most p o w e r f u l o f a l l n o v e l s ; Madame B o v a r y , A l l Q u i e t on t h e Western F r o n t , and Biibu o f Montparr.ases 111 are s u c c e s s f u l e s s a y s i n r e a l i s m , and t h e y succ-' eed b e c a u s e each a u t h o r was w r i t i n g from the depths \ o f h i s own e x p e r i e n c e . F l a u b e r t knew the t r a g e d y o f l o v e ; Remarque f o u g h t i n the G r e a t War, and d i d no more t h a n r e c o r d h i e e x p e r i e n c e s ; L o u i s - P h i l l i p e was a s t u d e n t i n P a r i s , and anew t h e s u f f e r i n g and d e g r a d a t i o n o f l i f e on the B o u l e v a r d 'de S e b a s t o p o l , T h e i r c h a r a c t e r s are not novel-dreams; they are v e r y r e a l , and we r e c o g n i s e much o f them i n o u r s e l v e s . L e t me recommend any o f t h e s e books f o r u n q u i e t weekend.

D E B A T E AHD DA M C E T h i s f a s c i n a t i n g c o m b i n a t i o n was s e r v e d o n and) t h e e v e n i n g o f F r i d a y t h e 1 6 t h by t h e ( L i t . Deb. S o c . The f a s c i n a t i o n was due e q u a l l y t o t h e p r e s e n c e o f T.'astfield C o l l e g e , and t h e m o t i o n ; " T h a t n e n s h o u l d be g r a n t e d e q u a l r i g h t s w i t h women." A f t e r a t h o r o u g h l y e n j o y a b l e and l i v e l y d e b a t e , t h e m o t i o n was d e f e a t e d b y 12 v o t e s . The s p e a k e r s and a u d i e n c e t h e n w e n t f o r a b u f f e t a n d csme h a c k f o r a c o u p l e h o u r s ' d a n c i n g . The f l o o r ( a l m o s t b a r e b y hop s t a n d a r d s ) was c o m f o r t a b l y f u l l and t h e c h a i r s h e a r t e n i n g l y empty. Guilds f r e s h e r s i n the Upper D i n i n g H a l l t r i e d vary u n s u c c e s s f u l l y to d i s t u r b b o t h the debate and-the d a n c e - so much s o , i n f a c t , t h a t a W e s t f i e l d member was h e a r d t o a s k , "Why i s t h a t r o o m c l o s e d ? Are there people i n there?" T h i s form o f debate-and-dance should e n c o u r a g e more p e o p l e t o come t o d e b a t e s end, r e a l i z e how e n j o y a b l e t h e y c a n be. Once t h i s i s d o n e , f u t u r e a u d i e n c e s w i l l be a s s u r e d . I daresay a pleasant p h y s i c a l e x e r t i o n a f t e r a mental e x e r t i o n i s g o o d f o r b o d y a n d s p i r i t , and c a n ' t u n d e r s t a n d why m o r e p e o p l e d o n ' t t r y .

LANGUAG E & MATHEMATICS Once upon a t i m e t h e r e w e r e t h r e e p h i l o s o p h e r s . And they had the e x t r e m e l y common names o f X, Y. a n d T h e i r names w e r e w r i t t e n w i t h c a p i t a l (of course) Z. l e t t e r s , f o r , as e v e r y o n e -ajows. Names a r e P r o p e r «0tlQ6. One day - the 2 5 t h o f March, I b e l i e v e i t was they were w a l k i n g i n K e n s i n g t o n G a r d e n s . The day was very hot and they chanced t o r e s t - a n d i n c i d e n t a l l y admire the A l b e r t memorial. "What i s g r a v i t y ? " s a i d Z (the y o u n g e s t , who had n o t r e a d P l a t o ) . "Why, it's the f o r c e o f a t t r a c t i o n b e t w e e n two m a s s e s " , s a i d Y. X (the e l d e s t ) s a i d n o t h i n g , b u t t o o k o u t p e n c i l ana paper and wrote s i m p l y 'W = mg' , a d d i n g a s B u t you two an a f t e r t h o u g h t 'where m i s i n s l u g s ' . have merely d e f i n e d i t " , c r i e d Z, " I w a n t t o Know What Two months l a t e r Z was f o u n d s t a r k a n d u t t e r l y dead i n the p o t t i n g shed a t t h a bottom o f h i e fathert garden. T h i s sad end, b r o u g h t a b o u t n o t e v e n by h o r r o r a s m page o f teeth.. the assmm of a s y m b o l , i s q u i t e s u f f i c i e n t t o t e l l

us'-wnac ttt At* Snow, v i a t h a t Z was KOt AM ESSHSKBu

I t took about a week f o r the f u l l h o r r o r s of the place to r e v e a l themselves. The f i r s t shock came -when we inspected our beds. The covers, we found, were o l d c a r p e t s , worn very thin and very dirty. The 3heets were of a m a t e r i a l resembling sugar sacks and bore numerous dark s t a i n s whose origin we dared not surmise. L i t t l e d i d we know t h a t those coverlets concealed the most hideous assortment of f i l t h y rags ever 3old by a TTkrainiaabeggar t o a Chinese seaman for the We d e p o s i t e d these rags purpose of c l e a n i n g b o i l e r s . outaide the landlady''3 door, whence they disappeared overnight. On subsequent days we l i k e w i s e disposed of two washstands, complete w i t h jugs and b a s i n s , one beaded f i r e screen, the remains of a draught screen, two tapestries i n bage g i l d e d frames, one!hundred and f i f t y - f o u r old and d i r t y novel3, a cracked urn, a l a r g e sheet of asbestos, an enormous s p i t t o o n and one s m a l l brass watering can. Our anger rose f u r t h e r as we discovered the nature of the c h a i r s , the f i l t h beneath the ragged carpet's? and the f a c t than the piano wa3 so out of tune as to be unplayable. I t d i d n ' t h e l p matters that the oriental gentleman u p s t a i r s would f r y g a r l i c on the landing every night. We r e l i e v e d our rage by f i l l i n g the dear lady's keyhole w i t h f i s h , g l u e , p u t t y , rag and a proprietary Jreast extract. 1 Safety f i r s t was the r u l e of the house. Besides the f i r e buckets (q.v.) a t r i p to.the bathroom revealed a l a r g e h a n d b e l l t i e d to the tap. T h i s was only t o be used i n emergencies, ever imminent from the l e a k i n g sink, overpowering odour and ominously bulging c e i l i n g supported only by an ingenious arrangement of posts and brown paper'. The 'DEN' was soon renamed 'THE PIT' but having removed the above-mentioned offending a r t i c l e s , scrubbed the w a l l s and i n s t a l l e d a c h l o r o p h y l l i f e r o u s deodorant, i t was, thought we, at l e a s t h a b i t a b l e u n t i l something better came our Way. And then . . . . . we saw . . . . , ' Curs was not the only roum, i n the basement. There was another. I t was here t h a t SHE l i v e d . It was from here that SHS emerged every day with,.a A n g l i n g of keys, a crashing of l o c k s and (Oh.' Horror.') the o u t l e t of such smells as are o n l y r i v a l l e d i n a Thibetan yak market. ..hat was i t l i k e i n there. The chance of i n s p e c t i o n , so long deni <1 us, came one morning v#ien, going up to pay the milk-man, 3he l e f t her door unlocked. We peeped i n and by the dim light of her s o l i t a r y can3.ie.and those rays f i l t e r i n g through the forgotten window at the end of the roam., we saw a mingled mass of jaded t r e a s u r e s heaped a g a i n s t the mouldering walls. Not one a r t i c l e was r e c o g n i s a b l e as f u r n i t u r e . Between the p i l e s of rags, p i c t u r e frames and chinaware meandered a l i t t l e pathway towards the p i e c e de r e s i s t a n c e - a large black b o i l e r . Cobwebs hung from every niche and the smell of unwashed humanity and c a p t i v e f e l i n i t y was overpowering. Although the immediate r e s u l t of t h i s revelation was a f i t of h e l p l e s s l a u s h t e r the more- l a s t i n g sensation was Shame to say, v/e determined one of h o r r o r and d i s g u s t . to s t a y J u s t l o n g enonght t o make our l a n d l a d y repent her ways. A demon was unleashed that n i g h t . Doorhandles disappeared, f i r e s arose i n the waste-bin, the f r o n t door b e l l f r e q u e n t l y rang i t s e l f , rude words appeared on walls and f u r n i t u r e was s h i f t e d around, music roused, the househ o l d n i g h t l y , newspaper soaked i n k i p p e r o i l appeared i n odd c o m e r s and the landlady was i n v a r i a b l e locked either i n or out of h e r boudoir .... Oh sing me a song of the open road, Vlhere the g u t t e r i s i n v i t i n g , And the l a n d l a d y ' s hands are f a r away, (The g u t t e r IS i n v i t i n g . ' ) J . Douglas and

George.

mm>v E n t r i e s f o r the Inhibition of drawings made by 1 of s t a f f ana students should be h^ded i n t o the Union Off i c e on Nov. 6th. A l l entries suomittea would bo exhibited. They should be mounted or framed, of stay sias or

Mr. H.J. Blaokham, the p h i l o s o p h e r aad author, w i l l ho the speaker a t the next Touchstone weekend on November, Slat 28nd, K i s theme w i l l be "Science arid Responsibility". Notices w i l l appear i n due oourao. l i r . Blackham i s ing on the same s u b j e c t i n the Cavendish Laboratory, Cambridge, t h i s t e r n .


SSI

PORTS

S P O R T I N G

PAG

P R O

FILE

.. HOT iw*r V*** W*W

JIM

TAYLER - CAPTAIN

On Saturday f o r the f i r s t , t i m e i n i t s h i s t o r y , the Rugby Club f i e l d e d s i x XV's. The r e s u l t s were a c r e d i t a b l e r e f l e c t i o n not only upon the keeness of the c l u b members but a l s o on the c l u b p l a y i n g strength. The f i r s t XV were the only u n s u c c e s s f u l s i d e , but t h e i r narrow defeat at the hands of Wasps Vandals team, d i d them great c r e d i t . The forwards p l a y e d v a l i a n t l y against a h e a v i e r ami more experienced pack and the backs t a c k l e d h a r d and r e l e n t l e s s l y . The second XT .beat Q.M.C. 2nd XV by 27 p o i n t s to n i l . The A XV. a f t e r a l a t e c a n c e l l a t i o n and f i x t u r e rearrangement which l e d to much confusion, won 12-0 and a g a i n s t Old G-ranniarians and. the 3 r A and B XVs were winners by 9-0 and 16-3 r e s p e c t i v e l y . The dauntless 0 XV scored a resounding -victory by 15, p o i n t s t o 14. The two praninant members of s t a f f b e l i e d t h e i r ages w i t h s p r i t e l y i n t e r p a s s i n g which completely b a f f l e d the home team. T H E

S A B f N

T A N K A R D

An e a r l y s t a r t was made t h i s season i n the I n v i t a t i o n Sabin Cap f o r c l i n k e r e i g h t s . The race being held on the Saturday a f t e r term s t a r t e d meant t h a t , as u s u a l , only a few days t r a i n i n g c o u l d be enjoyed. l a the f i r s t heat, the crew, s t a r t i n g badly due t o f l o a t ing d e b r i s , found thesaaelves two lengths dam but. were w e l l s t r o k e d t o beat Westminster H o s p i t a l . Racing again almost immediately a t i r e d I.C. eight l o s t to a v e r y neat and deservingI,en«buryorew.

.

Although t h i s aeans the l o s s of a pot whose only v i r t u e was i t s c a p a c i t y , w i t h l a s t year's performances (see Phoenix) and the keeness e x h i b i t e d by t h i s year's Freshers (God B l e s s them), the C o l l e g e loua-s forward t o a outstanding ?easoo. The S a t i n Crew: * U.D.C. Garner (Bow),J»G»Head-Vi K.W.H Johnson, D. Cooper, O.K. Newhouse, R. A. Saunders, K.E. C l a r k e , K.B. Hoare ( S t r o k e ) , L.P.R; Hardteig (Cox).

H O C K E Y

This year should b* a successful one. Many new players, parJ6.cularly heppoord, H a r r i s , the Leiwis Bros, and barren show jsioh promise. The I s t XX w i t h s i x of l a s t years team forming a nucleus i s r a p i d l y blendin g i n t o a well-batamed s i d e . The 2nd and 3rd XI's need a few more matches "fee settle down but having once achieved t h i s should do well. As i n other years' s e v e r a l members are p l a y i n g regolksty f o r D".L. and are only a v a i l a b l e f o r cup matches. With9sra$h a r e g u l a r occurrence, the f a c t Kfeat we are able to naslntain, and i n fact, strengthen our f i x t u r e l i s t s , •peeks w e l l for the general standard of hockey i n the club. The Cup has been absent too long from i t s r i g h t f u l place but we hope to regain i t t h i s year. The Ist round i s Wednesday I l t h November at H a r l i n g t a u and any supporters would be welcome. I.C.H.O. Results:

0. Dunstabliana St. B a r t s Hosp. Aohford

Saturday Oct. 17th Wednesday Oct. 21st Saturday Oct. 24th

(mate)

Lost 2-3 Drawn 2-2 Hon 2-1

For. ..coming Fixtures. Vickers Armstrong (A) Royal Vet. C o l l e g e (H) St. Catharines (Camb) (A) TJ.L. Cup 1 s t Round v B a t t e r s * * P o l y .

Saturday Oct. 31st Wednesday Nov. 4th Saturday lev. 7th Wedneauagr Hov. 11 t h

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SERVICE BUSINESS & SOCIAL STATIONERY for

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LONDON, S . W . f

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l.C

HOCKEY

As C a p - t a i n o f I.C.Hockey S i m T a y l e r f i n d s himself a t t h e h e a d o f one o f t h e most p o p u l a r and success f u l I . C . C l u b s . T h e s t a n d a r d o f Eookey i s very h i j h , w h e n we c o n s i d e r t h a t no l e s s t h a n f i v e I.C. men p l a y e d r e g u l a r l y f o * the U n i v e r s i t y l a s t season. True t h i s d o e s h a v e a n a d v e r s e e f f e c t on I.C. hookey since i t i s n e v e r p o s s i b l e t o f i e l d the b e s t team a v a i l a ble, b u t i t i s n e v e r t h e l e s s a g r e a t compliment to I.C. hookey t h a t t i h i s i s s o . J i m T a y l e r h i m s e l f e k e s oat an existence i n the C h e m i s t r y D e p t . o f the R.C.S. At the moment he i s engaged i n a l i t t l e r e s e a r c h i n t o "The I n s e c t i c i d e s o b t a i n e d f r o m N a t u r a l P r o d u c t s " with the accent on " I s o b u t y l a m i d e s " (Whatever t h e y may be!) J i m l a a q u i e t k i n d o f cove, who r i g o n o u s l y d e n i e s that he i s i n f a c t a s e c r e t e x t r o v e r t . He came t o I . C. from Chippenham S c h o o l i n the O o t o b e r of 1950, havine t h e r e a l s o h e l d the p o s i t i o n o f captain of Hockey. He a r r i v e d j u s t I n time t o m i s s the Hookey Club's Holland S o u r w h i c h t a k e s place every f o u r years; However he does; tape t o go o n the next tour. On the f i e l d , h i s u s u a l p o s i t i o n i s a t i n s i d e f o r w a r d , but s o f a r t h i s s e a s o n he h a s p l a y e d i n the c e n t r e p o s i t i o n . He works the b a l l w e l l , and i s v e r y apt a t f i n d i n g b r e a c h e s i n the o p p o s i t e defence. A t the moment h e i s the p r i n c i p l e s c o r e r f o r the I.C. f i r s t team, h a v i n g c u r e d a s l i g h t slowness i n s h o o t i n g w h i c h he s q u i r e d l a s t s e a s o n . H i s other i n t e r e s t s rang e from "Hops* t o T e n n i s , C r i c k e t and Squash, a p r e t t y normal s e l e c t i o n f o r anybody at I . C. J i m T a v l e r I s p o p u l a r b o t h i n the Hockey Club , a n d i n t h e U n i o n . As a c a p t a i n he may seem a l i t t l e a l o w i n c o n g r a t u l a t i n g h i e m e n on t h e i r play, but t h e y know t h a t a n y p r a i s e t h e y r e o i e v e f r o m him on t h e f i e l d r e a l l y means s o m e t h i n g a n d . i s not t o be m i s t a k e n f o r the h o l l o w compliments which s o often f l y a r o u n d the f i e l d o f s p o r t . T h i s p a g e w i s h e s J i m T a y l e r and tne Hoeltey Club t h e b e s t o f l u c k i n t h e "coming s e a s o n . ' • ^

fflC

MM

A 'Coming Events' D i a r y i s now kept in the Union Porter's Office. O f f i c i a l s should enter t h e i r events for the next f o r t n i g h t i n i t a t l e a s t a week before FELIX i s due to appear.

FRIDAY OCT. 30th. 5.15 p.m. Committee Room A., F r . B r i f f a , S.J. - "The Development of Character' arranged by I.C. C a t h o l i c S o c i e t y . :11p.m. -. 5a.m. Commemoration B a l l . MONDAY MOV. 2nd. I.C. C h r i s t i a n Union open Meeting. 1.15p.m. G.S. Cansdale "Biology and the B i b l e " Botany Lecture Theatre. 1.15 p.m. R.C.S. General Union Meeting. Large Chemistry Lecture Theatre. 5.15 p.m. I.C. R i f l e Club. A l e c t u r e on "Small Bore Shooting" by the Captain, Wimbledon flifle Club._ Small H y s i c s Lecture Theatre. IHE334X "j"o /. 3rd. 1.15 p>ir.. I.C. Union General Meeting. Gymnasium. 1.30 - 2.20p.m. Student C h r i s t i a n Movement. Mr. E. Baker on " C h r i s t i a n i t y i n the Factory". C. & G. Roam 15. TO^^jJIJOY.. 4 t h . I.C. Railway Soc. are arranging a v i s i t to Keasden. D e t a i l s on Union Beard. THURSDAY .NOV. 5th. Engineering S o c i e t y . "With Guy Tsakee to the Moon." Lecture by J . Humphries, B.Sc., A.M.I.lIeoh.fi. FRIDAY NOV. 6th. 7.30 - 11.45 p.m. U.L.U. J a z z Federation i s h o l d i n g a "Jazz Hop" i n the U.L.U. Assembly H a l l , Russell Square. Admission 2/-. B r i n g your instrument to play during the i n t e r v a l s e s s i o n . MONDAY NOV, -9th t o NOV.. 13th i

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inclusive. An exhibition or Drawings and Paintings made ay staff and students of I.C. during the vacation i s to be held i n the I.C. Union Offices during College hoars. Sending i n d&y F r i . Nov. 6th. MONDAY NOV. 9th. I.C. Christian Union Open Meeting. 1.15 p.m. Canon Bewes. "Can wg be certain about anything?^ Botany Leeture Theatre. TUESPiu NOV. 10th. 5.30 p.m. I.C. Railway Sooiety. Dr. ...A Tupliri on "Locomotive Performance". G. A G. R C J C 161. THURSDAY NOV. 13th. I.C. R i f l e Club General Moe c i - ^ in Committee Room A- fejgineering Society' "Building a Tyre." Lecture by R. H i l l ('''restones lyre and Rubber Co. Ltd.) FRIDAY NOV. lSt& "2LIX on .sale.' -TpVsw'I.O. Ice-skating Clutu An i'--7,>i testing" i n the 3poitadrome, Richmond. , Open to a l l I.C. and guests. . Admission 8/~. 6

Published by me FELIX Board, Imperial College UmaQ, London, S. W. 7. Printed by S' il Voia Flail Ui 2, Exhibition Rd., S. W. 7,


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