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2 FOGGY FOGGY DO With our customary understatement, we hoped i n our l a s t E d i t o r i a l , t h a t t h e Dance would he t h e " c h a o t i c a f f a i r you e x p e c t " . The fun s t a r t e d when we t r i e d t o s e l l t h e l i m i t e d t i c k e t s t o thousands o f clamouring savages) when we acknowledged d e f e a t , and got r i d o f them by l o t t e r y . The fun f i n i s h e d when our punch drunk s p o r t s s t a f f t o t t e r e d t o bed. I n between came a g o l f match, f e a t u r i n g t h e FELIX A r t E d i t o r , and ably commented on by t h e w e l l known Rhodesian g o l f e r , Sloggem Hard Wearne. Few p o t e n t i a l r e v e l l e r s were d e t e r r e d by t h e f o g , and FELIX i s a b l e t o r e p o r t t h a t he made n e a r l y as much money as p l a n n e d . We wish a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year t o a l l our readers ( e s p e c i a l l y those who w r i t e t o u s ) , t o S a t o r i u s G.Thomas (the FELIX Board B u t l e r ) , t o our salesmen and t y p i s t s , t o M r . Eisenhower, and, f o r i m p a r t i a l a l i t y â&#x20AC;˘ s sake, t o M r . S t a l i n , t o t h e Government (whom we h o l d t o blame f o r t h e f o g ) , and t o t h e taxpayers who keep us a l l at c o l l e g e .

R A t a m e e t i n g o f t h e R e i e c t o r y Committee l a s t w e e k i t w as d e c i d e d t h a t b r i g h t e r menus (Curry, g o u l a s h , A u s t r i a n g e f u l l t e f i s h , e t c . ) s h o u l d be made a v a i l a b l e , e x p e r i m e n t a l l y , o h F r i d a y s n e x t term. Contact w i t h the main student body i s d e s i r e d o n t h i s m a t t e r , t o o b t a i n some i d e a s o f your opinions. The Refectory suggestions books a r e a l w a y s a v a i l a b l e f o r s u c h comment. O p i n i o n s on t h e p r o v i s i o n o f h o t s n a c k s i n t h e New L o u n g e a r e also wanted. T h e B a r came i n f o r a g o o d d e a l o f d i s c u s s i o n , p r i n c i p a l l y concerning a r e d u c t i o n i n the p r i c e of whisky, the p r o v i s i o n of pins of stronger ales, and t h e d i s p l a y o f c i g a r e t t e s and p o t a t o c r i s p s . A Wine Committee i s t o s t u d y p o s s i b l e additions to the range of d r i n k s s o l d . R e g a r d i n g A y r t o n H a l l , i t w as e m p h a s i s e d t h a t t h e c o n g e s t i o n which o c c u r s a t 1 2 . 3 0 on Tuesdays and Thursdays c o u l d be l a r g e l y relieved i f p e o p l e would a r r i v e e a r l i e r . The 1 2 - 1 2 . 3 0 Ihe p r i c e s f i x e d i n period i s usually slack. A y r t o n H a l l by the committee are s l i g h t l y h i g h e r than those i n the Union, but t h i s i s considered j u s t i f i e d by the superior character of the meal. No s a t i s f a c t o r y s o l u t i o n t o t h e n o i s y m e t a l t r a y p r o b l e m w as r e a c h e d , b u t i t w as f e l t t h a t t h e y were b e t t e r t h a n p l a s t i c o n e s . The s t u f f e d animals on t h e w a l l s o f t h e Lower D i n i n g H a l l a r e t o be removed. The U p p e r D i n i n g H a l l i s t o r e m a i n o p e n d u r i n g the V a c a t i o n .


FELIX Y

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I t i s p r o b a b l y n o t r e a l i s e d i n I . C . how u n u s u a l i t may seem t o o u t s i d e r s , a n d t o p a s t members o f t h e C o l l e g e , t h a t a s t u d e n t f r o m t h e West I n d i e s s h o u l d b e P r e s i d e n t o f Guilds'. To h a v e b e e n e l e c t e d t o t h i s j o b , a C o l o n i a l w o u l d h a v e t o b e e i t h e r a v i o l e n t c a l y p s o showman - o r t h e opposite. T h a t h e i s t h e l a t t e r s a y s much f o r t h e h e a l t h _ _ of t h e system. A y e a r a g o , a correspondent t o FELIX," concerned about t h e methods o f e l e c t i n g U n i o n O f f i c e r s , p u t forward t h e o p i n i o n t h a t t h e P r e s i d e n t o f I . C . s h o u l d be e l e c t e d b y g e n e r a l v o t e , so t h a t e v e r y o n e g o t t h e l e a d e r s t h e y d e s e r ved. I t w a s p r e s u m e d t h a t t h i s was what t h e i n d i v i d u a l ; C o l l e g e s got w i t h such a method; t h e s a g a c i t y o f t h e G u i l d s ' i s heartening. T h e y c h o s e a man t h i s y e a r who w a s n o t p r o m i n e n t i n a n y s p o r t o r s u c h p o p u l a r a c t i v i t y , who was s e r i o u s i n d e b a t e , and y e t was t o p r o v e a f i n e l e a d e r o f his College. l t was a m u r k y day i n S e p t e m b e r 1949 when P h i l i p f i r s t c h u c k l e d t o h i m s e l f on E n g l i s h s o i l . He came w i t h t h e d e f i n i t e i n t e n t i o n s o f l e a r n i n g about roads and s e e i n g Europe. F r o m h i s home i n B r i t i s h G u i a n a h e b r o u g h t a f i n e grey h a t t o p r o t e c t h i s h a i r from t h e elements w h i l e A f t e r a week h e d i s c o v e r e d he a c c o m p l i s h e d h i s two t a s k s . t h a t t h e r a i n n e v e r s t o p p e d r e l i a b l y , a n d so h e p u t away h i s homburger u n t i l t h e B r i g h t o n r u n , . - ... ., H i s f i r s t a c h i e v e m e n t a t I . C . was b r e a k i n g t w o f i n g e r s He now c o n c e n t r a t e s o n t h e s o c i a l for t h e Soccer Club. side o f college l i f e , saying t h a t England i s too cold f o r any a t h l e t i c s , except p e r h a p s c r i c k e t . F o r h i s work a s S e c r e t a r y o f t h e Overseas S t u d e n t s Committee l a s t y e a r , h e was one o f t h e f i r s t t o r e c e i v e t h e U n i o n G e n e r a l A w a r d ; a n d h e i s g o i n g t o b u y a b l a z e r one day t o commemorate t h e event. He h a s b e e n A s s i s t a n t E d i t o r , a n d i s now E d i t o r , of the G u i l d s ' Engineer. P h i l i p ' s knowledge o f E u r o p e , a q u i r e d t h r o u g h wide He h a s done v a c a t i o n t r a v e l , i s t h e envy o f many o f u s . work i n H o l l a n d a n d S c a n d i n a v i a , a n d t h e w e l c o m e h e g o t i n Norway was s t a g g e r i n g . H i s employers, the State Railways, allowed h i m f r e e t r a v e l l i n g , and a s a r e s u l t o f a p r o f i l e i n a newspaper a b e n e v o l e n t l a d y gave h i m a l l h i s m e a l s . H i s wanderings took h i m t o a remote v i l l a g e i n N o r t h e r n Norway w h i c h h a d n e v e r b e f o r e b e e n v i s i t e d b y a c o l o u r e d m a n , a n d h e was t o o g r e a t a e o n n t e r - a t t r a c t i o n t o t h e s c h o o l u n t i l c o - o p e r a t i o n b e t w e e n t h e t w o was t h o u g h t o f , a n d h e gave a t a l k t o t h e c h i l d r e n . I n c i d e n t a l l y , he h a s been r e p o r t e d , o n a n o t h e r o c c a s i o n , t o h a v e t a l k e d W i t h a German p r o f e s s o r about Autobahnen i n IATIN I The c o n s i d e r a b l e varie-oy and b a l a n c e o f h i s a c t i v i t i e s i s reflected i n h i s character. P h i l i p i n c l i n e s t o be q u i e t a n d r e t i r i n g r a t h e r t h a n p u s h f u l , b u t h e i s n o t a man o f few w o r d s . He c a n t a l k f o r w h o l e U n i o n m e e t i n g _ o n a n y subject, without notes, and without d i g r e s s i o n . He d o e s n o t a c t i v e l y f o r c e d i s c u s s i o n s t o w a r d s h i s own s e t o p i n i o n , but he uses h i s s o f t , i n e x h a u s t a b l e v o i c e t o g r e a t e f f e c t i n m a k i n g a p o i n t c l e a r a g a i n s t t h e happy h e c k l e r s i n t h e Guilds'. P h i l i F w i l l l e a d t h e C o l l e g e anywhere, a n y t i m e , p r o v i d e d h e i s p e r s u a d e d t h a t t h e m a j o r i t y r e a l l y want t o go t h a t way, and t h a t he i s not j u s t l i s t e n i n g t o t h e a g i t a t i n g . few. H i s i n t e r e s t s o u t s i d e c o l l e g e work and d u t i e s a r e t o o many t o c a t a l o g u e . H i s t a s t e s i n music are s t r i c t l y c l a s s i c a l - he r e v e l s i n Mozart opera. But h i s chief enjoyment l i e s i n b e i n g w i t h p e o p l e , s h a r i n g t h e i r j o k e s a n d t e l l i n g h i s , e n d d e l i g h t i n g e v e r y o n e w i t h h i s j o i e de vivre. -One t h i n g we h a v e n o t h e a r d f r o m P h i l i p A l l s o p p y e t i s a true calypso. We hope t h a t h i s p e r s i s t e n t r e f u s a l t o s i n g w i l l be broken a t t h e Christmas C a r n i v a l .

The a u t h o r s c o n s i d e r t h e m s e l v e s , a f t e r 2 . 2 y e a r s r e s e a r c h i n e v e r y way c o m p e t e n t t o a n s w e r a n y q u e r i e s a r i s i n g a b o u t the various colleges. J . S . claims that h i s record of 5 consecutive evenings at 5 d i f f e r e n t c o l l e g e s w i t h 5 d i f f e r e n t y o u n g l a d i e s t o b e u n e q u l i e d b y a n y p r e s e n t member o f I . C . F u r t h e r d e t a i l s may b e h a d on a p p l i c a t i o n ( s t r i c t l y c o n f i d e n tial) Bedford College. - a l i a s V i r g i n s ' Retreat. I t s p o s i t i o n midway b e t w e e n Madame Tussa.uds a n d a n o t h e r w e l l - k n o w n London landmark, accounts f o r t h e 2 d e f i n i t e t y p e s found t h e r e , v i z . , c o l d and s i l e n t , and Ayerv (Mocking B i r d ) H i l l Somewhat d i s t a n t — a p p l i e s t o i n m a t e s ! B e d s must b e removed ( c o m p l e t e ) f r o m rooms b e f o r e men f r i e n d s a l l o w e d i n — must be r e t u r n e d by 9 . 3 0 ( D o n ' t t h i n k y o u c a n s t a y ! ) No b a r d u r i n g t h e d a n c e s . Kings College o f Household C a v a l r y . T h e summerhouse, b e i n g t h e m a i n a t t r a c t i o n , s h o u l d b e more w i d e l y p u b l i c i z e d . B e d s n e e d n o t b e removed f r o m rooms, b u t r i g i d s c r e e n i n g o f i n t r e p i d and/or i n s a n e i n t r u ders i s c a r r i e d o u t . Furzedown. A g a i n t o o f a r removed f o r r e g u l a r v i s i t s , a n d no b a r . Y o u n g n a i v e n a t u r e o f o c c u p a n t s makes i t a h a p p y h u n t i n g ground f o r t e e - t o t a l f r e s h e r s and r e a l o l d r a k e s ! N.T.C.D.S. S e l l the grub's fine! R i d i c u l o u s curfew. Gipsy H i l l A good t h i n g S i t u a t e d i n t h e Home C o u n t i e s - j u s t ! i f y o u l i k e "Romany i n t h e G l o a m a n y . " M a r i a Assnmpta Sweet 23 ( K e n s i n g t o n S q u a r e ) , a n d n e v e r b e e n k i s s e d . St. Godric's Secretarial College. S e l e c t i o n changed a t frequent i n t e r v a l s . Male Most o l d s t u d e n t s s t a y friends not allowed i n Hostels. i n L o n d o n a n d h a v e f l a t s - no comment. Queen M a r y N u r s e s Home. Student surgeons c u t y o u o u t ! Goldsmiths • S e l e c t i o n p o s s i b l y i n f l u e n c e d b y somewhat m e d i e v a l architecture. W i s h i n g t o h a v e no c o n n e c t i o n w i t h G u i l d s ' ExtensionWestfield. ( I n t e r p o l a t i o n by E d . ) S h o u l d b e moved n e a r e r t o I . C . Men s l u n g o u t a t 10 p . m . The young l a d i e s t e n d t o w a r d s t h e i d e a l , b u t t h e y make d r e a d f u l c o f f e e . Whitelands. T h i s y e a r , l o o s e r r e s t r i c t i o n s o n men a p p l i e d - 9 i n t h e r o o m s , a n d 10 i n t h e common room - y o u may f i n d some s p a c e in the cellar! Curfew s t i l l severe on f r e s h e r s . Bi-weekly ( a p p r o x ) Sunday e v e n i n g d a n c e s w i t h a d m i s s i o n c h a r g e o n e penny ( n o t t w o h a l f p e n n i e s ! )

P L i k e t h e w o r l d I n g e n e r a l , " I . C . may be d i v i d e d I n t o two c l a s s e s , t h e u p p e r a n d t h e l o w e r ; t h e r e a r e t h o s e who t r a v e l b y u n d e r g r o u n d ( t h e "sub-men") a n d t h o s e who t r a v e l b y b u s ( t h e "super-men"). I f e e l i t my d u t y a f t e r m o r e than two y e a r s o f s u c c e s s f u l b u s - c a t c h i n g t o p l a c e t h e f r u i t s o f my e x p e r i e n c e b e f o r e my f r o z e n fellows Here then a r e the seven b a s i c of the bus-queue. methods o f b o a r d i n g a bus d u r i n g the r u s h - h o u r . 1. T h e k e r b s t e p : a step sideways Into the road, R u n down f o r c i n g t h e b u s t o s t o p some w a y o u t . the a l l e y between bus and queue. (Not i n foggy weather: see Coroner's notes on B . Thomas). 2. The l e f t h o o k : r u n r i g h t round the f a r side o f jbus, clockwise and enter from the r e a r . |3. T h e f e i n t : move f o r w a r d a n d p r e t e n d t o t r y t o 'get on the wrong b u s . Those w a i t i n g f o r your and w i l l allow y o u to Iproper bus w i l l be f o o l e d , s t a y a t t h e h e a d o f t h e q u e u e . (Make s u r e y o u d o n t jget on the wrong o n e ) . •4. T h e f o r e i g n e r : charge i n , s c a r f i n brown b a g , p r e t e n d i n g to speak no E n g l i s h . 5. The menace: walk t o t h e head o f t h e queue w i t h a friend. Remark t h a t y o u f e e l a n o t h e r a t t a c k o f typhoid coming o n . Spit a l i t t l e blood. 6. The i n n o c e n t : w a i t i n a doorway f o r your b u s . Then r u s h up to the conductor a n d a s k which bus goes to your d e s t i n a t i o n . When h e s a y s "This (Make one; mate," f i g h t v a i n l y to get o f f a g a i n . sure the f i g h t i s i n v a i n ) . 7. Queue n o r m a l l y : b u t w a t c h t h a t o l d l a d y who comes to s t a n d n e a r y o u , a t t h e h e a d , t h e n steps s m a r t l y o n t h e b u s , a s s i s t e d b y a c o n d u c t o r who sympathises about "those college toughs." to a happy (busmans) holiday. Here's RAFE

e L R By c o i n c i d e n c e t h e subject o f our P r o f i l e appears on a p i o t u r e o f an escapade which oecured l a s t week. Photo:C.B.Hall

Y


FELIX

Viewpoint

Felix THE

NEWSPAPER

OF

IMPERIAL

1 2 t h . DECEMBER 1952

COLLEGE No.43

EDIT ORlAJl.BRAY

CIRCULATION: 1 2 5 0

T h e r e I s no e x c u s e , i n a C h r i s t m a s I s s u e f u l l o f f u n , f o r a w e i g h t y E d i t o r i a l c o l u m n , and i n d e e d , w r i t i n g i n the foggy aftermath of a f o g g i e r p a r t y a n d d a n c e , we a r e q u i t e i n c a p a b l e o f t h o u g h t . T h e E d i t o r w i s h e s i t t o be r e c o r d e d i n t h i s c o l u m n t h a t he d e e p l y a p p r e c i a t e s t h e p r o d i g i o u s l a b o u r s of M e s s r s . Wearne, P u r s e r , Wardle, Benson, Anderson, Starmer, Edwards, Morgan, K a l e , M i d g l e y , P i g g o t t , Dadd, G i l l (the M . C . ) , the E n t e r t a i n m e n t s C o m m i t t e e , a n d a l l t h e o t h e r s who h e l p e d t o make the F E L I X Dance s o m e t h i n g o f a s u e c e s s d e s p i t e the weather.

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" T h e r e was a Y o u n g L a d y o f B u d e , W i t h s p i r i t so f i e r c e was i m b u e d , When s h e came up t o college To a s s i m i l a t e k n o w l e d g e Was d i s t i l l e d a n d t h e l i q r u o r d r u n k

crude."

"Teapot". "Profanum V u l g a r i s " " B u r p " J . W . S . , " A J a x " (Who p r o d u c e d a s u b t l e o n e ) , a n d W a t t a. Wordsworth a l l c o n t r i b u t e d f a i r l i m e r i c k . The The " F o u r Met T y p e s " were r a t h e r n e a r t h e l i m i t , a n d , b u t f o r m a k i n g " l i g h t " rhyme wiHi " D e l i g h t " , would have won. The n u m b e r o f noms de p l u m e , u n a c c o m p a n i e d b y f u l l n a m e s , was a s t a r t l i n g f e a t u r e . W e - c a n o n l y ] suppose t h a t a few s t a i d and e l d e r l y p r o f e s s o r i a l r e p u t a t i o n s hide behind them. entry

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SIR

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ACLAUD

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A f l e x i b l e a t t i t u d e , but n e v e r t h e l e s s a s e n s i b l e o n e . r e s t r a i n e d a n d d i g n i f i e d , i s i n my o p i n i o n t h e b e s t way o f r e t a i n i n g a l i v i n g l a n g u a g e . L a n g u a g e i s t h e p r o p e r t y o f t h e common m a n . I f h e c a r e s t o m i s c o n j u g a t e a v e r b f o r l o n g enough i t w i l l e v e n t u a l l y become a c c e p t e d as s t a n d a r d E n g l i s h . W o r d s i n o r d i n a r y u s a g e mean, n o t what t h e d i c t i o n a r y d i c t a t e s , b u t w h a t t h e o r d i n a r y man h a s d e c i d e d t h e y w i l l m e a n . Y o u may f i g h t a g a i n s t h i m i n t h e " T i m e s " a n d i n y o u r t r e a t i s e s o n g r a m m a r , b u t he w i l l w i n i n t h e e n d . A m I i n e r r o r t o h a v e made a step i n h i s d i r e c t i o n ? A.R.B.

per On November 2 8 t h t h e H o u s e , a s s e m b l e d i n t h e U . L . U . H u t , p r e f e r r e d P i g s t o P o l i t i c s b y 31 v o t e s t o 1 6 . There were sharp exchanges over t n e m o t i v e s o f E n i d Shut t l ebaura* s S o c i e t y f o r t n e p r e s e r v a t i o n o f mangold w o r z e l s b u t o n t h e w h o l e t h e r e was more sympathy f o r t h e p i g , i n the r e s t r i c t e d a v a i l a b i l i t y of i t s products, than for the p o l i t i c i a n who i s r e s p o n s i b l e f o r s u c h t r a v e s t i e s a s spam and t h e a p e l l a t i o n " h o t d o g s " . The p i g was a l s o e x t o l l e d f o r s u c h v i r t u e s , unknown i n p o l i t i c i a n s , a s h o n e s t y , contentedne ss and s i n c e r i t y . On November 2 1 s t a n a l m o s t empty H o u s e c a r r i e d t h e m o t i o n t h a t " T h e A r t o f I n v e c t i v e s h o u l d be r e v i v e d " b y 1 4 - 6 v o t e s , a f t e r o n l y one s p e e c h from t h e f l o o r , b y a member o f W e s t f i e l d C o l l e g e . One w o u l d exnB c t a s u p p o s e d l y i n t e l l i g e n t U n i v e r s i t y t o d e b a t e more i m p o r t a n t i d e a s t h a t t h e s e , b u t t h a t two s u c h f r i v o l o u s d e b a t e s s h o u l d b e h e l d s u c c e s s i v e l y was due t o t h e p r o t a g o n i s t s b e i n g u n a b l e to a g r e e o n t h e m o t i o n o r i g i n a l l y planned for t h e 20th.

U The s e c o n d m e e t i n g o f t h e new U . L . U . C o u n c i l o f P r e s i d e n t s o n t h e l s t December was l a r g e l y d e v o t e d t o f i n a n c e a n d i m p l e m e n t i n g t h e new c o n s t i t u t i o n ( s e e F E L I X o f l a s t F e b r u a r y ) The P r e s i d e n t s Report and t h o s e o f t h e t h r e e main committees two m i n o r f i n a n c i a l i t e m s , and t h e c o n f i r m a t i o n o f S t a n d i n g O r d e r B f o r t h e management o f v a r i o u s s e c t i o n s o f t h e U n i o n were g o t t h r o u g h i n an h o u r and a h a l f . T h e new C o u n c i l i s more o f a p o l i c y b o d y t h a n t h e o l d , and t l w m e e t i n g s a r e g e t t i n g more b u s i n e s s l i k e t h a n t h e r a m b l i n g d e b a t e s we h a v e k n o w n .

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r e a l l y t w o w o r d s , o n l y my e n l i g h t e n e d s e l f a n d t h e l a t e M r . Shaw h a v e t h e c o u r a g e t o do a n y t h i n g about i t i n p r i n t . Our l a n g u a g e i s c o n s t a n t l y d e v e l o p i n g ; C h a u c e r a n d S h a k e s p e a r a r e among t h e m i l l i o n s who h a v e h e l p e d t o r a i s e i t to a u n i q u e p o s i t i o n , a s f a r as r i c h n e s s and d i v e r s i t y of e x p r e s s i o n are c o n c e r n e d . A t t h e moment t h e m o s t p o t e n t f o r c e i n l a n g u a g e r e c o n s t r u c t i o n comes f r o m W h i t e h a l l ; t h e t o n g u e is i n da ng e r o f becoming o f f i c i o u s and s t i l t e d w i t h m i n i s t e r i a l p l a t i t u d e s and e v a s i o n s . S u r e l y a s i m p l i f y i n g t e n d e n c y l i k e m i n e h a s some v a l u e a s an a n t i d o t e to t h i s d e a d l y danger?

I endevor to achieve a c l o s e r r e l a t i o n s h i p b e t w e e n s p o k e n E n g l i s h and p r o s e t h a n h a s so f a r been a c h i e v e d by the r e a c t i o n a r y w r i t e r s of h i s t o r y . Modernised s p e l l i n g i s ,of course far neater i n p r i n t than i s the old s t y l e .

H a t s O f f , g e n t l e m e n t o " R a f e " , whose l i m e r i c k , u n p r i n t a b l e by e d i c t of t h e L o r d C h a n c e l l o r , s w e p t t h e o t h e r 2 9 c o n t r i b u t i o n s away f r o m t h e limelight. The o f f i c i a l w i n n e r i s W . G . H . , C. " T h e r e was a Y o u n g L a d y o f B u d e , I s a l i n e w h i c h s h o u l d n o t be p u r s u e d For I.C. i n i t s crudity A t once t h i n k s of n u d i t y , A subject, by FELIX, tabooed. Many o t h e r s u s e d a s i m i l a r t r e a t m e n t , n o t a b l y L . S . G . , who s a y s . " B u t , Oh Boy', what t h e r e ' l l be I n t h e o n e s y o u w o nt s e e , F o r t h e y ' l l be most s u b t l y c o n s t r u e d . " There were s e v e r a l n e a r m i s s e s . J . A . L u s h e r f a i l e d , a s many d i d , o n t h e l a s t l i n e . He was t h e b e s t . r h y m s t e r , w i t h e s c h e w e d , p a n i c , o r g a n i c .and viwwed. Most c o m p e t i t o r s produced the obvious rhymes. M.W. K n i l l s e n t i n a b a k e r ' s d o z e n , a n d h i s f i r s t , s l i g h t l y u n g r a m m a t i c a l , was ingenious and almost a w i n n e r .

The c o m p l e t e the E d i t o r .

Im c a l l e d u p o n t o r e p l y t o c r i t i c s o f my s p e l l i n g i n the Union L i b r a r y s e r i e s of a r t i c l e s . T o d e n y my r i g h t t o c o n d u c t a p r i v a t e c r u s a d e is s u r e l y u n f a i r : n o b o d y q u e s t i o n s the r i g h t of a w r i t e r t o u s e h i s own - s t y l e i n F E L I X , a n d m o d e r n i s e d p u n c t u a t i o n i s p a r t o f my s t y l e . I a d o p t it because I t h i n k i t s time f o r the use of condensed w o r d s t o be m o r e w i d e l y r e c o g n i s e d . T o i l l u s t r a t e my b e l i e f , c o n s i d e r the word " c a n ' t " . A l t h o u g h n e a r l y 99.9?* o f t h e p e o p l e o f E n g l a n d h a b i t u a l l y say " c a n t " , w i t h o u t a s u g g e s t i o n of i t b e i n g

R e g a r d i n g p u n c t u a t i o n , I t r y t o be o r t h o d o x , especially regardind possessive apostrophes,as t h e i r use i s o f t e n e s s e n t i a l to c o r r e c t under st s t a n d i n g o f t h e s e n s e . I t i s r a t h e r f r u s t r a t i n g t o be a c c c s e d o f i n c o n s i s t e n c y b y p e o p l e who f a i l t o d i f f e r e n t i a t e b e t w e e n t h e two t y p e s o f a p o s t r o p h e t h e p o s s e s s i v e and t h e a b b r e v i a t i v e . In s p e l l i n g , I o c c a s i o n a l l y m i s s o u t r e d u n d a n t v o w e l s - t h e y l l go on t o t h e end o f t i m e i f somebody d o e s n t do s o m e t h i n g about it.

Where the b l u e - p e n c i l b l u e - p e n o i l i s my b l u e - p e n c i l b l u e - p e n c i l ?

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P R I Z E . 1953

The o b j e c t o f t h e C o m p e t i t i o n i s t o e n c o u r a g e g o o d w r i t i n g o f E n g l i s h , and i s r e s t r i c t e d t o u n d e r g r a d u a t e s , b u t s t u d e n t s may s u b m i t e s s a y s w r i t t e n a s p a r t o f t h e F i n a l Examinations i n the previous y e a r . A c a n d i d a t e must s u b m i t a n o r i g i n a l E n g l i s h e s s a y n o t e x c e e d i n g 5 , 0 0 0 on a n y s u b j e c t , b u t a s c i e n t i f i c o r t e c h n o l o g i c a l s u b j e c t must b e t r e a t e d i n a n o n - s p e c i a l i z e d way. A P r i z e o f 25 g u i n e a s w i l l be awarded f o r t h e b e s t e s s a y , p r o v i d e d a s u f f i c i e n t s t a n d a r d i s reached. The Award w i l l be p r e s e n t e d o n Commemoration Day. E s s a y s must r e a c h t h e R e g i s t r a r n o t l a t e r t h a n January 1 8 t h . 1953.

MINES B A L L T h e M i n e s B a l l t o o k p l a c e o n Wednesday 2 7 t h N o v e m b e r . F o r a m i d - w e e k f u n c t i o n t h e numbers w e r e f a i r l y g o o d . T h a n k s t o t h e k e e n h e l p e r s t h e gymnasium was t r a n s f o r m e d by s u b t l e d e c o r a t i o n i n t o s i me w a r m t h a n d i n t i m a c y a n d everyone appeared t o be e n j o y i n g t h e m s e l v e s . A t one t h e b a n d w e n t home b u t a number s t a y e d o n a n d d a n c e d t o records. M i k e W e s t w a s a v e r y smooth M . C . a n d B r i a n F e n h o u l e t i s t o b e c o n g r a t u l a t e d on o r g a n i s i n g t h e a f f a i r w i t h the u s u a l Mines s a v o i r e - f a i r e .


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Symbol 00 Group T h o u g h t t o be a m e m b e r o f a f a m i l y . Occurrence Pure speciSeldom found i n a pure s t a t e . mens assume a r o s y t i n t when d i s c o v e r e d i n t h e natural state. Surface u s u a l l y covered by a f i l m G e n e r a l l y f o u n d i n t h e immeof paint o r oxide. situations, d i a t e v i c i n i t y o f f l o u r i s h i n g economic exact position unpredictable (see Heisenberg, Rich deposits are occa"Uncertainty Principle") s i o n a l l y f o u n d - more o f t e n lost. Physical Properties Boils at nothing, freezes without reason. A l l v a r i e t i e s m e l t w i t h c a r e f u l h a n d l i n g (CARS fumes r e a d i l y ) . Density i s notas great as generally exposed. Very b i t t e r i f used i n c o r rectly. Odour a l w a y s p r e s e n t , maybe f r a g r a n t o r pungent. Unpolished specimen tends t o turn green i n presence o f a highly polished one. Chemical Properties H i g h l y explosive and dangerous except i n e x perienced hands. Ages r a p i d l y , w i t h p o l y m e r i s a tion. P o s s e s s e s g r e a t a f f i n i t y f o r A g , A u ,P t a n d for C of high density. Activity i s greatly i n c r e a s e d when s a t u r a t e d w i t h a s p i r i t s o l u t i o n . A very powerful r e d u c i n g agent e . g . o f bank b a l a n c e s , specimens. a l s o o f peroxides i n t h e case o f dark Vast quantities of proteins, carbohydrates e t c . are r a p i d l y consumed ( t r i a l o f t h i s experiment c a n prove economically p r o h i b i t i v e ) . Under s u i t a b l e c o n d i t i o n s w i l l form complexes. Various types They o c c u r i n are described i n t h e l i t e r a t u r e . numerous c r y s t a l h a b i t s and a t l e a s t one amorphous A l la r e f u n c t i o n a l l y s i m i l a r , v a r y i n g only form. i n outward appearances - w h i c h may be d e c e p t i v e , (n.b. t h e e x c e p t i o n i s t h e behaviour toward CgH OH which i s then a u s e f u l form o f c l a s s i f i c a t i o n . ) Uses 5

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Chiefly ornamental. Acts rapidly as a catalyst (negative o r positive) i n t h e production of fevers. Widely used i n biology. It i s illegal i n most c o u n t r i e s t o p o s s e s s more t h a n one s p e c i men t h o u g h a c e r t a i n amount o f e x c h a n g e i s permissible. Summary Older chemists had d i f f i c u l t y i n c l a s s i f y i n g t h i s element o f such wide occurrence. Applicat i o n o f t h eDobereiner Triads leads t o t h e concept Even t h e current e x of t h e e t e r n a l t r i a n g l e . t e n s i v e knowledge fails to explain a l l properties, e.g. r a d i o a c t i v i t y s t r o n g l y evident a t about 2 p.m. K.F.J.T.

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I n e a c h s u b j e c t 50 marks c o n s t i t u t e s a P a s s . The b o y ' s l o w e s t mark i s 4 5 , a n d h i s h i g h e s t mark i s i n M a t h e m a t i c s ; he f a i l s i n F r e n c h , b u t o b t a i n s 64 marks i n E n g l i s h , a n d56 marks i n a n o t h e r subject. I n M r . D a v i e s ' s u b j e c t he o b t a i n s o n e a n d - a - h a l f t i m e s a s many m a r k s a s h e d o e s i n t h e s u b j e c t f o r w h i c h t h e m a s t e r who l i v e s a t E a l i n g i s r e s p o n s i b l e ; a n dh i s average mark i s 57»



You won't g e t a date i n h i s backward R . A . F . camp - i t ' s e n r t y , A l t e r n a t i v e roc : f o r a n i l l i t e r a t e miner Sttn S o d i n t h e r a i n . Capitals nlease! Thanks t o ' Lacadam. Flimsy French negative. Generally t i n y - more's t h e nitvj 1

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A schoolboy s i t s f o r an examination i n E n g l i s h , Mathematics, French, Geography and Science. Hi's'*masters f o r t h e s e f i v e s u b j e c t s a r e M r . A n d r e w s , M r . B a i l e y , M r . Chapman, M r . D a v i e s , and M r . E l l i o t , n o t n e c e s s a r i l y r e s p e c t i v e l y , a n d they l i v e at Ealing, Hampstead, Richmond, Streatham andWimbledon, a ^ a i n n o t n e c e s s a r i l y respectively.

" I t h i n k c o n t i n u a l l y o f t h o s e t h a t -/ere truly ." (Spender) 6 Across i s t h i s , i s i n and on t h i s ,and in i s m i t . The s t a r t o f K e a t s ' Odyssey. Ground, i n 6 .

Mr. Andrews, t h e youngest o f t h e m a s t e r s , l i v e s a t Richmond, a n d t h e m a s t e r i n whose s u b j e c t t h e b o y o b t a i n s 56 marks l i v e s o n t h e o p p o s i t e s i d e of t h e r i v e r t o M r . Andrews. M r . Andrews' neare r n e i g h b o u r o n t h e same s i d e o f t h e r i v e r i s younger than Mr. Davies; h i s nearer neighbour on the opposite side o f the r i v e r i s younger than Mr. B a i l e y , b u t o l d e r than Mr. E l l i o t . Mr. Chapman a n d t h e S c i e n c e m a s t e r l i v e o n o p p o s i t e sides o f the river, The ages o f t h e F r e n c h a n d t h e S c i e n c e m a s t e r s a r e r e s p e c t i v e l y t h e same a s t h e b o y s ' marks i n S c i e n c e a n d i n F r e n c h ; a n dt h e ages o f the other threo masters a r e r e s p e c t i v e l y t h e same a s o n e o f t h e b o y ' s m a r k s , o n e o f t h e b o y ' s marks w i t h t h e d i g i t s r e v e r s e d , andt h e average age o f t h e f i v e m a s t e r s . HOW

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Once u p o n a t i m e t h e r e was a p o o r w o o d - c u t t e r , who l i v e d i n a f o r e s t , who h a d t h r e e s o n s , A r k s , A s s e g a i and Arresem. One day t h e e l d e s t s o n , A r k s , s a i d t o h i s . father, " T h e t i m e h a s come f o r me t o go i n t o t h e w o r l d t o seek fame end f o r t u n e . " So h e p a c k e d u p h i s few b e l o i g i n g s and s e t o u t . A f t e r many a d v e n t u r e s he came t o a w i d e r o a d , l i n e d w i t h t a l l buildings. E n t e r i n g one o f t h e s e , h e was l o o k i n g r o u n d c u r i o u s l y , when h e f o u n d h i m s e l f i n t h e g r i p o f monster. meant no h a m , m o n s t e r . Who I n t e r r o r he s a i d , a r e y o u s n d what do y o u w a n t ? " " I am t h e P r o f " t h e m o n s t e r r e p l i e d . " A n d now y o u a r e my s l a v e . B u t i f y o u work w e l l f o r m e , a t t h e end o f two y e a r s I w i l l s e t y o u f r e e a n d , b e s i d e s , g i v e y o u a P h . D . " So p o o r A r k s was s e t t o work b u i l d i n g a m o n s t r o u s apparatus to determine the oircurabendability of old boots and s l a v e d o v e r i t f o r many m o n t h s . C o n s t a n t l y The P r o f f o u n d f a u l t w i t h i t , a n d many t i m e s A r k s d e s p a i r e d o f e v e r seeing h i s brothers again. Now The P r o f ' s l a i r w a s g u a r d e d by a f e m a l e d r a g o n , s m a l l a s d r a g o n s g o , b u t armed w i t h s h a r p t o n g u e a n d a c u t t i n g m a n n e r w h i c h c o u l d wound a man a t t h i r t y paces. F u r t h e r m o r e , A r k s , who h a d l e a r n e d t h a t P h . D s . were r o l l s o f parchment i n s c r i b e d w i t h magic w r i t i n g of g r e a t power, had a l s o found t h a t t h e y were k e p t i n the bottom r i g h t - h a n d d r a w e r o f The P r o f ' s d e s k . And i t seemed t o A r k s t h a t i f h e c o u l d o n l y become f r i e n d l y w i t h t h e d r a g o n , i t m i g h t l e t h i m e n t e r The P r o f ' s l a i r i n h i s a b s e n c e , remove a P h . D . , and e s c a p e . So h e p l i e d i t w i t h s u c h t h i n g s a s he thought a c c e p t a b l e t o dragons - i n v i t a t i o n s t o dances and d i n n e r s , t o s e e h i s e t c h i n g s - b u t t o no a v a i l . He w a s a l m o s t i n d e s p a i r when i t o c c u r r e d t o h i m t h a t t h e d r a g o n i m i g h t w e l l b e a b e a u t i f u l m a i d e n u n d e r a s p e l l - a common " enough t h i n g a f t e r a l l - a n d , a s e v e r y o n e k n o w s , s u c h s p e l l s c a n u s u a l l y be b r o k e n by a k i s s . So o n e d a y , a f t e r d i s a r m i n g i s u s p i c i o n b y o f f e r i n g i t some t y p i n g , f o r w h i c h i t h a d a v o r a c i o u s a p p e t i t e , he c a u t i o u s l y k i s s e d i t . Whereupon i t knocked him c l e a n i n t o t h e middle o f h i s apparatus, saying i t was n o t t h a t k i n d o f d r a g o n . T h e P r o f was so f u r i o u s when h e « a w t h e damage t h a t h e t u r n e d A r k s i n t o s t o n e w i t h one g l a n c e , a n d p o o r A r k s I s now t h e 9 5 t h s t a t u e t o t h e . r: g h t o n t h e Albert Memorial. 1

When A s s e g a i , t h e s e c o n d s o n , g r e w u p , h e t o o s e t o u t t > seek h i s f o r t u n e , and a f t e r many w a n d e r i n g s h e t o o was c a u g h t b y T h e P r o f a n d s e t t o w ork r e p a i r i n g t h e m o n s t r o u s apparatus to determine t h e oi rcumbendabi l i ty of o l d b o o t s , '.'he P r o f d i s a p p r o v e d o f e v e r y t h i n g h e d i d , and i n h i s t u r n h e b e g a n t o f e e l h i s o n l y c h a n c e o f g e t t i n g a P h . D . was t o i t e a l one. So h e s e t o u t t o make f r i e n d s w i t h t h e d r a g o n - i l e n d i n g i t b o o k s , t a l k i n g about i t s o p e r a t i o n , and o f f e r i n g s u g g e s t i o n s o n how t o make i t s d e n more c o m f o r t a b l e . The d r a g o n seemed p l e a s e d , a n d q u i t e f r e q u e n t l y d i d n o t b r e a t h e f i r e a t h i m f o r days on e n d , b u t i t never r e l a x e d i t s v i g i lance. T h e n i t o c c u r r e d t o h i m t o wonder i f t h e d r a g o n was r e a l l y b e w i t c h e d , a n d i f a n y t h i n g c o u l d be d o n e a b o u t i t . So one day he k i s s e d i t , b u t a l a s ! h e t o o was k n o c k e d i n t o t h e m i d d l e o f h i s a p p a r a t u s , t h e d r a g o n s a y i n g he was a s b a d i a s . t h e r e s t o f them, and b r e a t h i n g flame a l l over h i m . When T h e P r o f r e t u r n e d h e was i n a g r e a t r a g e , and A s s e g a i i s now t h e 9 6 t h s t a t u e on t h e r i g h t on t h e Albert Memorial. When i t was t i m e f o r A r r e s e m , t h e y o u n g e s t s o n , t o seek h i s f o r t u n e , h i s f a t h e r t r i e d t o p e r s u a d e him t o s t a y a t home, s i n c e n o t h i n g had e v e r been h e a r d o f h i s b r o t h e r s lonce t h e y had l e f t . B u t A r r e s e m i n s i s t e d o n l e a v i n g , and s u r e e n o u g h , he was c a u g h t by T h e P r o f , a n d s e t t o w o r k , A r r e s e m , p o o r c h a p , a c t u a l l y became i n t e r e s t e d i n t h e c i r c u m b e n d a b i l i t y o f o l d b o o t s , and t r i e d h a r d t o p l e a s e , but f a r e d no b e t t e r t h a n h i s b r o t h e r s . He was v e r y l o n e l y , for n a t u r a l l y h i s f e l l o w - s l a v e s w e r e n o t g o i n g t o t a l k t o a man ;whose c h i e f t o p i o o f c o n v e r s a t i o n was o l d b o o t s , so h e f e l l i n t o t h e h a b i t o f v i s i t i n g t h e d r a g o n , and l i s t e n i n g t o i t t a l k a b o u t t h e y o u n g men i t h a d h a d f o r s u p p e r t h e n i g h t b e f o r e a n d s u c h t h i n g s , a n d l i t t l e b y l i t t l e , t h e y became close friends. One day he came u p o n t h e d r a g o n c r y i n g b i t t e r l y and found out t h a t i t had i n a d v e r t e n t l y breathed f i r e o v e r a y o u n g man i t h a d b e e n s a v i n g up f o r a t a s t y s n a c k , and c h a r r e d h i m t o a c i n d e r . " P o o r t h i n g , d o n ' t c r y , " h e s a i d , and k i s s e d i t sympathetically. To h i s amazement, t h e d r a g o n t u r n e d i n t o b e a u t i f u l m a i d e n , who f e l l o n h i s n e c k c r y i n g " A t l a s t ! . At lastl" " Y o u see," she e x p l a i n e d l a t e r , " I was u n i e r a s p e l l w h i c h c o u l d n o t be b r o k e n u n t i l I w a s k i s s e d t h r e e t i m e s . Y o u r b r o t h e r s , I may a d d , d i s c o u r a g e v e r y e a s i l y . " Then she t o l d h i m about t h e F h . D s . i n t h e bottom r i g h t hand drawer o f The P r o f ' s d e s k . She e x p l a i n e d i t c o u l d o n l y b e o pe ne d b y m a g i c a n d t o l d h i m e x a c t l y how t o go a b o u t i t . When T h e P r o f f o u n d w h a t h a d . h a p p e n e d t o h i s d r a g o n , h e m e r e l y r a i s e d o n e e y e b r o w , waved h i s m a g i c s l i d e - r u l e , and t h e r e was t h e d r a g o n b a c k a g a i n ! b u t t h e m a i d e n and A r r e s e m h a d expe c t e d h i m t o do t h i s and w e r e n o t a l a r m e d . Meanwhile, A r r e s e m b u i l t a l i t t l e f i r e , and p u t a s t e w - p o t o n i t , a n d s a t by i t p l a y i n g h i s v i o l i n . When T h e P r o f r e a l i s e d w h a t was h a p p e n i n g , h e r u s h e d f r o m h i s l a i r , c r y i n g , "What i s g o i n g on? I w i l l n o t h a v e i t i n my .laboratory!" The d r a g o n t h e n s l i p p e d i n t o t h e l a i r a n d waited. When t h e s o u n d o f f i d d l i n g a n d t h e s m e l l o f c o o k i n g r e a c h e d . t h e bottom r i g h t - h a n d drawer i t f l e w o p e n , and t h e r e was a P h . D . i n s c r i b e d w i t h A r r e s e m ' s name! The dragon t o o k l i t u p , a n d , e v a d i n g The P r o f , i t and A r r e s e m nade t h e i r escape. A s soon a s t h e y were s a f e l y away, A r r e s e m k i s s e d the dragon t h r e e t i m e s , s k i l f u l l y dodging i t s claws the w h i l e , when i t O I E e more t u r n e d i n t o t h e b e a u t i f u l m a i d e n , a n d t h e y were m a r r i e d and l i v e d h a p p i l y e v e r a f t e r . And t h e m o r a l o f t h i s i s t h a t b e a u t i f u l m a i d e n s o n l y behave l i k e dragons f o r t h e f i r s t two k i s s e s . Jonathan Staggers.

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On the w h o l e, the items were w e l l performed and w e l l r e c e i v e d . However, D r . J a c q u e s ' h e r o , B a c h , d i d n o t r e c e i v e a worthy performance. The C a n t a t a No. 61 was t h e o p e n i n g w o r k a n d t h e O r c h e s t r a came t r o u g h w e l l . The c h o i r and s o l o i s t s d i d n o t . The c h o i r ' s s i n g i n g was n o t up; t o s t a n d a r d , i t b e i n g d i f f i c u l t t o d i s t i n g u i s h the words. C o r e l l i ' s Christmas Concerto followed, b e a u t i f u l l y p l a y e d b y an O r c h e s t r a o f 10 s t r i n g s . A f t e r a s l o w i n t r o d u c t i o n , the v i o l i n s b r e e z e d i n t o something r e s e m b l i n g M a n t o v a n i . The l a t t e r movements o f t h i s w o r k w e r e , t o my m i n d , t h e b e s t p a r t o f the evening. The »audience were Aftar this, carols. s i n tahLv' amused b y D r . J a c q u e s * g l a n c e b e f o r e the Holly a n d t h e I v y , and s a n g , more o r l e s s ; as directed. Those c a r o l s p e r f o r m e d b y t h e c h o i r alone were a l s o w e l l s u n g . F i n a l l y V a u g h a n W i l l i a m s S e a Symphony. T h i s was t h e f i r s t time I had h e a r d t h i s work, and i t i s t h e r e f o r e d i f f i c u l t t o w r i t e a n y t h i n g about i t . The c h o i r s a n g a t i t s b e s t , b a l a n c ^ was g o o d , t h e words came through (most o f them ) and the s o l o i s t s were b o t h m a g n i f i c e n t . M i s s H o l l y w e l l d e s e r v e d her p o s i t i o n next to W i l l i a m Pars ons. There i s no doubt about the succes of these c o n c e r t s . The h a l l was p r a c t i c a l l y f u l l and t h e a u d i e n c e o b v i o u s l y e n j o y e d i t . I t was quite obvious t h a t the c h o i r d i d as w e l l . C e r t a i n l y , D r . Jacques i s a p o p u l a r conductor and I . C . i s v e r y l u c k y t o h a v e h i m , b o t h a s c o n d u c t o r and l e c t u r e r . F i n a l l y , I w o u l d l i k e t o s a y a word a b o u t I.C. orchestra. T h i s has f a l l e n b a d l y i n numbers and may have t o c e a s e a l t o g e t h e r . This i s not the f a u l t o f t h e M u s i c a l S o c i e t y , b u t o f t h o s e p e o p l e i n I . C . who p l a y i n s t r u m e n t s b u t d o There are p l e n t y o f s t r i n g not come f o r w a r d . p l a y e r s i n I . G . and i f t h e y do g e t t o g e t h e r i t w i l l be w o r t h t h e i r w h i l e . Do p l e a s e d o somet h i n g . Making music i s more s a t i s f y i n g t h a n j u s t lis tening. 1

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The C o u n c i l o f t h e N a t i o n a l U n i o n o f S t u d e n t s , m e e t i n g i n g r i g h t o n a f o r t n i g h t ogo, to¥k, w i t h some r e g r e t s , a d e f i n i t e s t e p away from the I n t e r n a t i o n a l Union. . For several years, there has b e e n d i s s a t i s f a c t i o n i n N . U . S . w i t h the overwhelming p o l i t i c s o f t h e I » U . S . a n d t h e i r dogma t h a t i n t e r n a t i o n a l u n i t y meant p r i m a r i l y p o l i t i c a l unity. I n 1948, I . C . c u t i t s l a s t t i e s w i t h the N . U . S . bee u s e i t d i d n o t t h i n k t h a t s o r t o f a f f i l i a t i o n worth s u p p o r t i n g . E i g h t e e n months ago t h e N . U . S . p l a c e d i t s e l f down t o " a s s o c i a t e membership" o f the I n t e r n a t i o n a l U n i o n , hopine t h a t the e x e c u t i v e o f I . U . S . i n Prague would a l l o w s u c h a c o n t a c t t o remain,whereby N.U. S. c o u l d s t i l l t a k e p a r t i n s o c i a l and s t u d e n t a f f a i r s , b u t have n o s h a r e i n t h e I . U . S . as a p o l i t i c a l machine, H o w e v e r , no a c t i o n was t a k e n t o meet t h e E n g l i s h conception of such student a c t i v i t y , a n d the v o t e o f 820 •- 420 a t B r i g h t o n was t o c o n f i r m a r u l i n g t h a t N . U . S . was a u t o m a t i c a l l y o u t o f I . U . S . b y d e f a u l t o f a c t i o n b y the l a t t e r . C o n t a c t s w i l l be m a i n t a i n e d i n hope, b u t i t i s p o s s i b l y now t h a t the massive N . U . S . debates and r e f e r e n d i on t h i ^ p o l i t i c a l s u b j e c t can g i v e way to urgent n a t i o n a l business. I t h a s always been the r e g r e t o f many s t u d e n t b o d i e s , i n England and Wales t h a t the o n l y n a t i o n a l a s s o c i a t i o n was feo busy w i t h one problem.Some have f e l t , from t i n e t o t i m e , t h a t t h e i r a f f i l i a t i o n was n o t w o r t h t h e c o s t , and have b e e n i n c l i n e d t o f o l l o w I . C . o u t . These w i l l be c o m f o r t e d b y the a p p e a l o f many speakers a t the c o u n c i l , i n c l u d i n g t h e new P r e s i d e n t , f o r more a t t e n t i o n t o domestic matters - g r a n t s , w e l f a r e , v a c a t i o n work, etc. UNIVERSITY LITERARY SOCIETY I n view o f the almost phenomenal s u p p o r t g i v e n t o p r e v i o u s f u n c t i o n s , the U n i v e r s i t y L i t e r a r y S o c i e t y i s p r e s s i n g on w i t h s e v e r a l new ventures this session. A magazine i s t o be publ i s h e d s h o r t l y , devoted e n t i r e l y t o w r i t i n g by members o f the U n i v e r s i t y ; work o f any s o r t whats o e v e r f rom t h e C o l l e g e w i l l be w e l c o m e d , c o n t r i b u t i o n s t o be s e n t t o A r n o l d Rosen, c/o U . L . U . , 3 0 Woburn Square, W.C. 1. Beside t h i s , arrangem e n t s a r e b e i n g made f o r d i s c u s s i o n s b e t w e e n members and w r i t e r s o f e s t a b l i s h e d r e p u t a t i o n , whw a r e not too l o n g i n the t o o t h t o be out ofS5*y«f>iil% w i t h undergraduate o u t l o o k .

A.D.A. 

Dear Sir, Mr, Fisher thinks that a page in FELIX devoted to U.L. activities should have the precedence to the sports page if lack of space prevents the inclusion of both tea f a r e s . Mr Fisher rightly assesses the world situation as grave. The remedy he xuggests, namely 'a resurgence of critical and constructive thought in mankind" is a well sounding phrase with vacuum behind it. We have a lot of crntJval and constructive thought going on. What is lacking in the world to-day is and good will. to 1eranee To promote tolerance and good will we have to be primarily interested in people and their problems. We that splendidly at I.C,, can practice To take part in the activities of U.L. means a lot in the life of of time, '.i'hose who fully participate often cannot afford it. It does not mean that I.C they do not work towards the objectives Mr. Fisher is rather vaguely worrying about. He also suggest that to practice sport is to be directly preventing understanding in the world. Something is seriously wrong with someone's reasoning here! To practice any form of sport the way we see it is which if present all llo develop those very qualities over the world, would make for better understanding among nations. At sport we train to achieve our objects by fair means, with courage and zeal. We learn team work and inward discipline. We learn to know one another. We have, no language barriers. That i s very important. activities.''I am merely saying that they will never be generally topical at I.C. , We will not lose atmthingby that. Nor will the world at large .'lose anything and with it the cause Mr. Fisher is fifyh'tlng for. Your faithfully, J, PRZEWLOCKI, 2M FOOTNOTE: I do not think that to read the daily press is being mentally inferior.

Dear

Robin, Please insert the following advert., ilj^JWii' I will pay the fee when I see you. CHRISTMAS BREW-UP\.for the boys in Room 10 to-night. All friends of the inmate of Room 10 are invited.. High jinks. Hot dogs. Cabaret, Cigareites by Abdullah. This is by way of revenge fota.notice prominently displayed in the old Hostel last night advertising a big brew-up in my room. Yours

sincerely

£jfC//

THE EDITOR REPLIES Dear

Kitch, Anything to oblige a pal., onal Adverts, and youll find it. Advertising Manager when you see Yours

Turn to the Per You can pay the him. sincerely, ROBIN

Sir , As your intendant book reviewer I must most vigorously place myself detached from the spelling and punctuation in the Union Library assays of the last three fCbiX" a. Would your correspondent please justify. Can he justify it? Is he sha^,? Yours etc., S.H. WEARNE Dear Sir, As, I hope, 'FELIX' is an impartial animal and the views of his staff are not unduly forced on the College; I do deprecate the waging of a private c r u s a d e , on the matter of punctuation, within its pages, , Even more so is tih^i a matter of concern, when one c o n s i d e r s the fact, ttmt the author of this campaign is one, who is urging us • via I.C, Library • to a better knowledge of the finer points of the language, whose English is' incomplete without full punctuation, and whose writing is often n rtdered thereby ambigous or even unintelligible. PAUL

YOUNG


FELIX

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SOCIAL FRIDAYJ

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ECEMBER I2 H.

FELIX No. 43 on sale. I.C. Dram. Soc. production 'A Jealous Wife', comedy by George Coleman. F u l l d e t a i l s i n I.C.U.Production today and l a s t production tomorrow. SUNDAY, DECEMBER 12TH. I f yon f i n d a spare toe xx^xng about the 7.30 p.m. I.C. Film Soc. are showing "The Lodger", Union Library, the odds are that "Evelyn "faugh has an early Hitchcock t h r i l l e r , and "Children on t r i a l " shot i t o f f one of h i s characters; which seems a i n the Hew Lounge. Tickets obtainable before the good footing to s t a r t a d i s s e r t a t i o n on book's to performance i n i.C.U. take out f o r the holiday. FRIDAY, DECEMBER 19TH. Cronin made a shattering impression on me when 9.00 p.m. - 4.00 a.m. C * G Carnival 'Fiesta'. I read "The Citadel". I f you want a powerful book, Tickets One guinea double from nion Office Annexe unpleasant yet fascinating and conscience s t i r r i n g , from I.C. Entts Ctte member. thats the one I recommend. Almost eaually s t i r r i n g FELIX very much regrets that no more information on i s Arthur Koestlers "Darkness a t oon", an account Coming Events i s available at the time of going to of the Moscow t r i a l s , containing an unforgettable but would again remint Clubs that they are picture of p i t i l e s s e l e c t r i c lamps and the inhuman press, responsible f o r informing ^ELIX of events that they method of t h e o r e t i c a l f e t i s h i s t s . On a more human wish inserted i n the Coming Events section. l e v e l , Alan Patons "Cry, The Beloved Country" i s a parable : the w r i t i n g attains a poetic beauty foreign t o t h i s century as the problems of A f r i c a are s k i l f u l l y , sympathetically, l a i d hare. Theatres with G a l l e r i e s for which Stools nap be Somerset Maugham i s a safe bet, though he rambles a b i t , and, thank heaven, occasionally Theatre Time (a) Comments. steps outside the grammar books. "The Razors' Apollo 10 a.m. Edge" w i l l hold you when the f i r e s gone out. So Comedy Closed next w€ek, rewill Beerbohm's only novel Znloika pobson", opens Dec 17th. which outlandishly outWaughs Waugh, and which Drury Lane 10 a.m. Seats 400 - separate must be the only book containing a proposal l a s t tip-up(?) seats. ing several pages. Also, though I havent had a Duke o f York 10 a.m. chance to read i t , glorious things are spoken of Garrick 10 a.m. Monseratt's "The Cruel Sea". Globe 2 p.m. Her Majesty's But, i f you want i t straight from the jaw, Gallery closed -for t r y Shaw's "Quintessence of Tbsenism", part of "The Innocents" as h i s Major C r i t i c a l Essays, or else, "The Story of play i s o f intimate my L i f e " , the autobiography of Helen K e l l e r , a nature. deaf and b l i n d American heroine. L y r i c , Hammersmith 9a.m. Hew Hemingway, who makes lawyers cay peculiar 8.30a.m. Bench-like seats. things, and L i n k l a t e r , who can be shocking a t Old Vic 10 a.m. Some t i c k e t s available times, appeal to many people. Books by the l a t t e r , , f o r seats - remainder togethet with Cronin and Scotland are the most standing. sought-after works i n the l i b r a r y at the moment Sadlers' Wells 8 a.m. (there are now 150 members). Tolstoy i s also St. James 10 a.m. Seating hinders concenpopular, and i f everybody read "War and Peace" tration. there would be no more war - there wouldnt be time Savoy 10 a.m. Very comfortable. for i t . Stoll 10 a.m. Quite reasonable. Strand 10.30 a.m. (Thurs, Sats) This- series of a r t i c l e s has now rambled into 1.30 p.m. (Other days) i t s l a s t paragraph. Though Tra f a r from f i n i s h e d , youve no doubt had enough, and everything has to Winter Garden Opens, new show, Dec.22 stop some time, as John C-ilpin-may have said. I t Wyndhams 8.30 a.m. Quite reasonable. only remains f o r me t o thank jfchose. °- you who have read t h i s f a r , to remind you-.that everybody can (a) Times at which stool t i c k e t s can be bought. take out, and has time to read, a book over the For the remaining theatres, as far as we Christmas holiday, to express gratitude to my know t i c k e t s f o r g a l l e r y , balcony, upper c i r c l e , friend G. Bonham-Thomas for help and c r i t i s c m , to etc., can be obtained i n advance. acknowledge s p e l l i n g i n s p i r a t i o n from the late G. B. Shaw and considerable assistance from the PIAY READING Library Committee, headed by John Midgley and the Union L i b r a r i a n , Dr.Hiilsi, and to sign o f f . As ah experiment to attract interest i n the Dramatic Society - from those who have not the time, or the face, A.H.B. TT

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1

to act, or who would'nt be seen dead near our stage - a few play-readings w i l l be held, starting with "Androeles and the L i o " " , by Shaw, on Wednesday next. The time w i l l probaly be 5.15 pm., and the place w i l l be announced on the Dram. Soc. notice-board.

PERSONAL ADVERTISEMENTS Mr. A.Kitchener of Room 17, Old Hostel, invites a l l his friends to a big binge i n his room, starting 7 p.m. tonight. Password: "Honked Again, Kitch". Chaos guaranteed. WANTED: Pair of duelling pistols. Apply A.Kitchener, Room 17 Old Hostel. WANTED: By Editor, .supporter, experienced i n the art of seconding at a duel. TYPEWRITER FOR SALE: Portable, 3 bank, £6 - 10. Apply Box PT2. DINNER JACKET & TROUSERS FOR SALE: Double-breasted, pre-war material, in first-class condition, w i l l f i t person 5' 9""to 6 ' , chest 34". Nearest offer to £10. Contact J.Kenyon, via Union Rack or Room 53 New Hostel. ACCOMODATION IN KEW for paying guest| near gardens and river 20 minutes from South Kensington. Large sunny room and study. Three guineas a week. Contact W.G.Pike through C. & G. rack.

Lecturer (Prof. P r i s e o e ) . In order t o perform an accurate analysis i t i s necessary to know',the answers beforehand.

'I.C.

Contributions are required for Phoenix (urgently) and The Guilds' Engineer


FELIX

I.C DOES W E L L IN U L CUPS Rugger—

HocKey—

A

A

U.L.

RUGBi CUP. Second Round. I . C . - 28 Northern Polytechnic—3. ThiB game was played on a treacherous wet surface with a north wind blowing sleet and rain the length of the ground. Starting against the wind I.C. looked a faster and better side than t h e i r opponents and were f i r s t to score through an Unconverted try by Coppelman. Northern Poly, replied with a t r y , but just before half-time Hearn touched In the second half down a kick ahead to regain the lead. the college quite overwhelmed the v i s i t o r s ; making f u l l use of the conditions by incessant long kicks downfield. There was some good play by the back, although attempts at handling were a waste of time. On several occasions a tackled three-qutirter was able to release the b a l l and get a foot to i t to start a rush. Six more t r i e s were scored; one of the best coming when Groves, who had followed up a diagonal kick by Hykin, was able to. gather a fortunate bounce at f u l l speed The scorers were Groves (3), Crossley (2), Cbppelman, Hearn Robinson made two conversions inspite of the and Hykin. mud. I.C. are clearly capable of retaining the University Cup i f they play intellegently, and choose the correct tactics i n succeeding rounds. The keen support for the four lower XV's ensures a number of good reserves on the fringe of the f i r s t team as an insurance against injuries. The semi-finals are not u n t i l Feb. 18th when I.C. play Wye College, and Q.M.C. (last year's runners-up) play Kings, who have half-a-dozen University players.

U.L. Cup. Second Round. Kings 1 I.C. 6 I.C. fought their way into the semi-final of the U.L.Hockey Cup competition by a convincing victory over King's College on Wednesday,26th.Novemberof six goals to one.The match was played almost throughout i n a cold driving drizzle but the standard of hockey was surprisingly good. The f i r s t ten minutes were c r i t i c a l for I.e.,but the defence stood up to the test well,and from then on the half-back line gradually gained control of the game. Consequently,in the second half the I.C.forwards were kept well supplied with passes and proved too much for the King's defence.The f i r s t four goals were scored by Latter,Power,and John Smith(2),and the f i f t h was the result of a demonstration by Forster of how a penalty corner should be taken.King's struck back and scored but I.Chad the last word when Haye3 went through and scored from the edge of the c i r c l e . The semi-final w i l l be played on February 4th. when we shall probably meet our old foes,University College,who at present have the Cup in their possession. We are looking forward to relieving them of t h i s responsibility. Results. Saturday,29th.November. I r t . i t v N.P.L. Won 3-1 2nd.XI v N.P.L. Drew 2-2 3rd.XI v N.P.L. Drew 2-2

Sc^uasKr-

Wednesday,3rd.December. Ist.XI v Dulwich A Lost 2-0

. 2nd. ROUND U.L. CUP I.C. versus St. Mary's. Won by I.C. The U.L. Squash Cup i a contested with only three players; this se cond round looked like a really hard fight, with St. Mary's playing the U.L. captain as their f i r s t string, and with I.C. playing three Varsity men, J.Kenyon, A.A.Williams, and M.D.Martin. The third pair went into the court f i r s t , and proved to be the most interesting squash, from the gallery point of view. The f i r s t two games brought out some excellent squash, but Mike Martin then found a good length on his corner drives, and alternating with s i d e - m i l drop shots, soon had his opponent very exhausted; he eventually won, s t i l l appearing very nrach fresher than the St.Mary's No.3. by 3 games to 1.

The recent form of the f i r s t XI indicates that i f the forwards can produce a l i t t l e extra punch (metaphorically speaking) i n front of goal and the defence indulge i n strong f i r s t time tackling, the team should give a good account of i t s e l f i n the second half of the season. Unf fortunately the same cannot be said of the second XI which i s having a very lean season. There appears to be despondency i n the team and u n t i l this is. got rid of the games w i l l continue to be l o s t . A contributory factor to this apathetic condition is probably the d i f f i c u l t i e s experienced by the club officials i n selecting teams. An availability l i s t i s i n operation and correct use of this should ensure that there are no crossings off but recently last minute withdrawals have had disastrous effects as a quick glance at the record shows.

A.A.Williams did not get much opportunity to use his 'disguised wrist-shots' ; his opponent was somewhat of a slogger, with the result that the game did not prove very interesting to watch, a great pity because Tony Williams' subtle play i s usually very impressive. He won by 3 games to 1, without appearing at a l l pressed. John Garfield, the U.L. captain, was i n excellent form and proved too much for Jeff Kenyon, who lost i n three straight games. Garfield's corner drives were i r r e t r i e v a ble, and his side-court drives soareely left the sidewalls at a l l . This match was again disappointing, for had Jeff Kenyon been 'on-form' we would have seen some f i r s t class squash.

F i r s t XI

P II

Second XI

12

Third XI

8

W 4

D 2

L 5

For 31

Against 30

10

22

46

2

38

20

I.C.G.A. R.H. HEENAN, a r e g u l a r p l a y e r f o r the U n i v e r s i t y has been awarded a; H a l f - P u r p l e f o r the season 1951-52. M.T. F r i e d l and K... W. u-iover were selected, to p l a y f o r the U n i v e r s i t y a g a i n s t O x f o r d and Cambridge r e s p e c t i v e l y ; the former w i n n i n g b o t h h i s matches, which a s s i s t e d London to r e o o r d t h e i r f i r s t v i c t o r y over O x f o r d . I.C. heat U.C. b 6 - 3 on November 8 t h at Highgate, winning the single s 4 - 2 and the foursomes 2-1.

I.C. T a b l e T e n n i s C l u b . The Club competes i n the U.L. T a b l e T e n n i s league, t h e l s t (Champions) and 2nd Teams p l a y i n g i n t h e P r e m i e r D i v i s i o n . The 3 r d Team i s i n the Second D i v i s i o n . The seastra has s t a r t e d f a i r l y . w e l l , and s e v e r a l u s e f u l new p l a y e r s have been d i s c o v e r e d . W i t h M i l l e r c a p t a i n i n g the U n i v e r s i t y Team, the l s t Team has done w e l l t o w i n a l l i t s matches t o date, g a i n i n g 9 p t s out of a p o s s i b l e 12. The 3rd Team has done e q u a l l y w e l l , w i t h 10 p t s out o f 12, but the 2nd Team has been u n f o r t u n a t e l y unable t o o b t a i n a p o i n t so f a r .

The date for Morphy Day next year has been fixed for Wednesday 18th. November, 1953. We apologize to two members of Lowry Race crews whose names were misprinteds M.C.MOCallum was 5 infcthe Guilds' boat, and R.J.Harbord 7 i n the Mines boat. Published 'By"the £ H 7 J . B « ^ , * p e r i a j Prinlcd oy S * -

Via

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College U n i o n , London. S. W. 7. 2, Exhibition Rd., S. W. 7.

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