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featured events Because we care. Nov. 10

The Music of James Bond

Boettcher Concert Hall $25 and up Slow walk stage left, sudden turn to face the camera, Bond shoots you in the head. Almost every single James Bond movie has started this way since the beginning of time. When you go to Boettcher hall and listen to the Music of James Bond, just close your eyes and imagine this scene, or any other number of scenes in which Bond he gets the girl, kills the bad guy and makes a narrow escape, or all three. Usually one of these things leads to the rest, but this is Bond like you’ve never heard it.

Nov. 22

Nov. 5, 16, 28

39th Annual Turkey Trot

Washington Park Donations Before you engulf turkey, mashed potatoes, gravey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, green-bean casserole, pumpkin pie, ice cream and God knows what else you can find in the kitchen, it might be in your best interest to go for a job before hand. Coincidentally, the Mile High United Way’s Turkey Trot starts early and only lasts for four miles. This leaves plenty of time to eat, be jolly and realize your uncle should never be invited back to Thanksgiving again.

Denver Zoo Free Days

Denver Zoo Free (Duh) Looking for a cheap date and an easy way to convince her you’re bangable? Do the monkeys throw poo in the cold? What happens to the alligators who sit in the water all the time after it freezes? Where do ostriches stick their heads when the ground gets too cold? Probably not where the sun doesn’t shine. But who knows, the animal kingdom is a strange place. These are good questions to ask yourself as you wander around the Denver Zoo while the rest of Denver stays inside.

Colorado Ski & Snowboard Expo/ Rocky Mountain Brewfest When Nov. 2-4 Where Colorado Convention

Center, Denver Cost $12 for expo, $24 for both The 21st annual Ski & Snowboard expo is the place to go to snag sweet deals on last year’s gear. This is top-notch, quality stuff. If that wasn’t enough, the expo is coupled with the 2nd annual Rocky Mountain Brewfest. You have to buy a ticket to the expo to get a ticket to the brewfest to keep the

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real alcoholics away from the beer. It’s to keep it classy: Only legit drinkers can do so and hit the powder. Tingle your taste buds with dozens of craft beers: The ticket gets you three tastes and a full beer. Not to worry, you’re free to buy as much of your favorites as the slopes can handle.

To have an event listed, email RoosterMagazine@gmail.com.


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featured events Nov. 23-25

Nov. 28

Nov. 30

Rocky Mountain Rod & Custom 60 Minutes in Space Colorado Convention Center $12 After that huge meal that you probably ate, you need to work off some of those extra pounds. This is not the place to do that, unless you count walking around and gawking. By all means, gawk, let your eyes wander over other people’s hobbies. Car shows are a hobby most of us will never be able to afford, much less participate in. Those old, classic hot rods take work to keep in pristine condition. You can barley even keep yourself in shape, much less a beautiful automobile.

Denver Museum of Nature & Science Free Face it, your philosophy degree isn’t going to get you enough money in a lifetime to go to space. Dream on in Gates Planetarium’s trip to the outer limits where new developments and discoveries in space are documented through state of the art animation and images. Hallucinogens not included in your ticket price.

Parade Of Lights

Downtown Free Strap on your basketball shoes, and get ready to push little kids out of the way for some free candy and other awesome parade shit. Seriously, we do not condone pushing children, but if they get in the way, they had it coming. Imbibe beforehand and enjoy a potentially frosty night watching lights stream by as children frolick and you steal candy from babies. Don’t walk with the parade, because it will last a really, really long time. Walk the other way however and you get dibs on sweet prizes but don’t have to wait as long for it to end.

Starz Denver Film Festival When Nov. 1-11 Where Denver Film Center Cost $12 Denver, the city that has it all, also boasts its own film festival. This 10day extravaganza offers visitors the opportunity to watch as many movies as they can fit into their schedules. Enjoy foreign films, indie movies, documentaries, animated movies and pretty much everything in between. There are movies from 38 countries — including this one, of course — covering pretty much any genre and subject you can imagine. If you consider yourself a true film buff, get a ticket. Like romance movies, crime movies, Mexican films, mystery or Mexican mystery films? You should also get

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a ticket. Consider yourself a hipster and really enjoy experimental films? You should ... well, maybe you don’t need a ticket. Go get real pants and stop embarrassing yourself. If you do, don’t worry, it’s November, so it will be pretty cool. Not all of the movies are full length, some are as few as eight minutes, and others as long as 130 minutes. You will probably do a lot of sitting at this event, so do yourself a favor and don’t smoke too much. If you do fall asleep, they won’t give you a refund. No word so far on how much outside food they will let you bring in.


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UPCOMI NG SHOWS Satisfying one groupie at a time. Nov. 1

Nov. 3

Nov. 3

Nov. 5

Asteroid’s Galaxy Tour

Head for the Hills

Primus

Minus the Bear

TAGT offers new-age fun with a vintage feel. Cute, cuddly Danish singer Mette Lindberg’s resounding voice paired with her cheeky brass-backed band’s always-resounding tunes sounds like Lykke Li joined the B52’s.

Homegrown, 100-percent certified organic, all-natural H4TH will satisfy the appetite of even the pickiest of Coloradans. Rich flavors of bluegrass, acoustic blues and a hint of rock and roll: Four out of five doctors recommend it.

If Johnny Depp dropped a ton of acid and knew how to slap-a-dat bass, you might confuse him with Les Claypool. Primus’ heavily distorted, rolling bass lines lay the framework for a Dr. Seuss-style 3-D parallel universe.

These indie rockers boast just enough prog-rock/electro-pop to keep from being too angsty. Spacey reverb and echoed riffs create drifting melodic atmospheres brought back to Earth with Jake Snider’s vocals.

Nov. 7

Nov. 9

Nov. 10

Nov. 13

The Polish Ambassador

Emancipator

Collie Buddz

Asher Roth

He comes in peace bearing gifts of synth, glitch and echoey samples from a futuristic space nation. Who would have guessed Poland would be the first to colonize Mars? Take that Nazis. Polish Ambassador wins.

Indubitably a master of downtempo, Emancipator takes chill out to a new level. Nobody else would have thought to mash up Sigur Ros and Mobb Deep. Check out his remix of “Forgiveness” by Ned’s own Elephant Revival.

It’s all about that sweet sweet sensi, ya know? If you can decipher Caribbean Patois, you may be able to understand what Collie Buddz is actually saying, otherwise get baked and enjoy the beats. Jah Rastafari!

You love college. We love college. Asher Roth loves college ... forever. This suburban rap standout built his following referencing the finer things in life: college, beer and girls. Hey, he makes it work, don’t judge.

Nov. 14

Nov. 15

Nov. 16 & 17

Nov. 17

Xavier Rudd

Bluetech

State Radio

Gramatik

He’s like Jack Johnson’s Aussie cousin with talent. Armed with an array of didgeridoos, a stompbox and steel-string guitars, this oneman band was likely raised by aboriginals.

The organic dubbed-out sound of Bluetech’s psybient, electronic music will have you contemplating the molecular structure of that pre-show, semi-legal chemical compound you ingested.

State Radio broadcasts in layman’s terms. Rage Against the Machine’s political dissidence meets Dispatch’s bohemian sound here. Summon your inner activist, man!

Gramatik boasts a vast musical lexicon. His sound is punctuated with seriously pleasing beats and rhythms. Creating neologisms in your musical vocabulary, he’s always Gramatik(ally) correct.

Larimer Lounge

Fox Theatre

Ogden Theater

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Fox Theatre

Ogden Theater

Cervantes’ Ballroom

Fillmore Auditorium

Bluebird Theater

Fox Theatre

Summit Music Hall

Fox Theatre

Fillmore Auditorium


Nov. 20

Nov. 18

Japandroids Bluebird Theater

Though its name is a portmanteau of Japan and Androids, this band is not Japanese. These are, however, the droids you’re looking for, and you’re gonna love them. The Japandroids are neither Japanese nor droids: discuss.

S U N D AY

Colorado Daily & Radio 1190’s Basementalism Present ALL AGES

M O N D AY

Dethklok: Metalocolypse

Nov. 21

Nov. 30

Archnemesis

moe.

When Justin Aubuchon (M.O. Theory) and Curt Heiny (Telepath) combine, their powers become Archnemesis: the bane of all existence to haters and shitty music. These guys sample everything, including old-school jazz, blues and hip-hop ... with a little Sound Tribe in between.

If you have no problem with people ardently calling each other moe.rons, then you’ll have a blast at this show. Upstate New York’s original jamband has been rockin’ for more than 20 years and has yet to scare off true lovers of great tunes.

Bluebird Theater

Fillmore Auditorium Bands living vicariously through cartoon avatars seems to be the thing these days, and Dethklok is the metal equivalent to the Gorillaz. Fear not, you can go to a metal concert and not miss your favorite Cartoon Network show.

NOVEMBER T U E S D AY

W E D N E S D AY

Ogden Theater

T H U R S D AY

97.3 KBCO & Colorado Daily Present

F R I D AY ALL AGES

S AT U R D AY

97.3 KBCO Groove Show, Westword and Twist & Shout Present

Boulder Weekly, Radio 1190 and Grateful Web Present

ALL AGES

ALL AGES

ALL AGES Rooster Magazine And Twist & Shout Presents

Rooster Magazine Presents

Rooster Magazine Presents

Colorado Daily, Radio 1190’s Rudeboy Reggae & Reggaemovement.com Present ALL AGES

ALL AGES

Rooster Magazine Presents

97.3 KBCO & Boulder Weekly Present

ALL AGES

SUN NOV 11

Boulder Weekly And Twist & Shout Present

ALL AGES ALL AGES

Boulder Weekly Presents

ALL AGES

Westword & Radio 1190 Present

ALL AGES

ALL AGES

ALL AGES

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

1135 13TH ST. - BOULDER, CO (303) 443 - 3399

with GULL

THURS NOV 11 SHOW 9PM

IN PERSON : ALBUMS ON THE HILL (BOULDER) TWIST & SHOUT RECORDS (DENVER)

1135 13TH ST. - BOULDER, CO (303) 443 - 3399

ALL AGES

SHOW 8 PM

Westword And Twist & Shout Present

ALL AGES

ALL AGES ALL AGES

ALL AGES

106.7 KBPI & Westword Present

ALL AGES

ALL AGES

IN PERSON : ALBUMS ON THE HILL (BOULDER) TWIST & SHOUT RECORDS (DENVER)

TICKETS AVAILABLE AT BOULDER THEATER BOX OFFICE ALBUMS ON THE HILL + TWIST & SHOUT

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ALL SHOWS ARE ALL AGES UNLESS STATED

*SEE OUR COUPON IN THE BACK OF THIS MONTH’S ROOSTER MAGAZINE!

Sat, Nov. 24 - 8:00pm - SUMMIT MUSIC HALL

Mon, Nov. 5 - 7:00pm - SUMMIT MUSIC HALL

Sun, Nov. 25 - 7:00pm - SUMMIT MUSIC HALL

Tue, Nov. 13 - 6:00pm - SUMMIT MUSIC HALL

Tue, Nov. 27 - 6:30pm - SUMMIT MUSIC HALL

Thu, Nov. 15 - 8:00pm - SUMMIT MUSIC HALL

Fri, Nov. 30 - 8:00pm - MARQUIS THEATER

Thu, Nov. 15 - 8:30pm - MARQUIS THEATER

Sat, Dec. 15 - 7:00pm - SUMMIT MUSIC HALL

Fri, Nov. 16 - 6:30pm - SUMMIT MUSIC HALL Advance Tickets Available online at www.sodajerkpresents.com or www.ticketweb.com, by phone at 1-866-468-7621, or buy at the venue on any show night. All shows are ALL AGES unless otherwise stated. For more information on shows, venues, etc please visit our website at: www.SodaJerkPresents.com 16

SUN 11/2 MOD MARQUIS THEATER, DENVER

IT OFF 11/18 SET MARQUIS THEATER, DENVER

11/3 LIGHTS SUMMIT MUSIC HALL, DENVER

BROOKS 11/20 JOE MARQUIS THEATER, DENVER

11/6 ROME BLUEBIRD THEATER, DENVER, AGES 16+

11/23 H*WOOD SUMMIT MUSIC HALL, DENVER

JACKSON JIHAD 11/8 ANDREW MARQUIS THEATER, DENVER

IS ME 11/24 WOE MARQUIS THEATER, DENVER

& BROKEN 11/10 INPUT MARQUIS THEATER, DENVER

ALEXANDRIA, AS I LAY DYING 11/27 ASKING OGDEN THEATRE, DENVER

DRIVE 11/17 WARNER MARQUIS THEATER, DENVER

12/7 NOFX FILLMORE AUDITORIUM, DENVER


THURSDAY OCTOBER 25

THE BRIGHT SIDE TOUR FEAT AER W/ YONAS, DAVID DALLAS, DROP SWITCH & D-STYLZ

FRIDAY OCTOBER 26

CHALI 2NA & CUT CHEMIST OF JURASSIC 5 W/ UGLY DUCKLING, PRIME ELEMENT & THE RAP LEAGUE

SATURDAY OCTOBER 27

DUAL VENUE SHOW! REBIRTH BRASS BAND W/ PAA KOW’S BY ALL MEANS BAND, LIEBERMONSTER & FROGS GONE FISHIN’

WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 31

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

MARK FARINA & SLICK RICK W/ SIGNAL PATH & GINGER PERRY

FRIDAY NOVEMBER 2

JOHN BROWN’S BODY W/ ATOMGA

THURSDAY NOVEMBER 8

FREE SHOW!! TRUTH – LOVES SHADOW ALBUM RELEASE PARTY W/ OMEGA, COULT45 & DAYQUILL

FRIDAY NOVEMBER 9

THE GREEN

W/ NATURAL VIBRATIONS & BILLY VAN

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 10

THE INFAMOUS STRINGDUSTERS SILVER SKY SPRING TOUR W/ LAKE STREET DRIVE

WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 14 THE FALL CLASSIC ALL STARS LINE UP FEAT

ASHER ROTH

W/ KIDS THESE DAYS , DIRTY DIRTY TROLL PACK, CHUCK INGLISH, DROP SWITCH & KRUZA KID

THURSDAY NOVEMBER 15

BLUETECH

W/ ILL GATES & STEPHEN JACOBS

WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 24

WATCH THIS!

FEAT LOW LIMIT, MONO/POLY, SHWEEZ & GVNKST

THURSDAY OCTOBER 25

DELTA SAINTS

W/ DIGG & ROWDY SHADEHOUSE

FRIDAY OCTOBER 26

THE ONE ISLAND TOUR FEAT BAMBU STATION & INNER VISION

MONDAY OCTOBER 29 • FREE SHOW

CARLTON PRIDE & MIGHTY ZION

TUESDAY OCTOBER 30 DUAL VENUE SHOW!! SUB.MISSION PRESENTS

A VERY SPECIAL HALLOWEEN ELECTRONIC TUESDAY FEAT GAUDI, ROOMMATE & AKARA PROJECT WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 31

FREE HALLOWEEN SHOW!! ROLLING STONES PERFORMED BY SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL

NEIL DIAMOND

PERFORMED BY FOREVER IN BLUE JEANS

PINK FLOYD

PERFORMED BY DISCO FLOYD

THURSDAY NOVEMBER 1

SUNSPOT JONZ (OF THE LIVING LEGENDS) & PIGEON JON W/ BIRDZ OF A FEATHA, WILLDABEAST, JOON BUG & KIDDO JOE

FRIDAY NOVEMBER 2

FRUITION & DANNY BARNES & NICK FORSTER W/ SHE SAID STRING BAND

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 3

TUNES FOR BARRETT

FEAT DJ LOGIC, BARRETT’S ALL STAR BAND (MEMBERS OF JUNO WHAT!?, POLYTOXIC, HENRY PARSONS PROJECT & DYRTY BYRDS) W/ YO MAMA’S & PAPA’S, JADEN CARLSON & SPECIAL GUESTS

TUESDAY NOVEMBER 6 SUB.MISSION PRESENTS

ELECTRONIC TUESDAY FEAT COMPA & CAUSTIK W/ BITCH PLEASE

WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 7

FRIDAY & SATURDAY NOVEMBER 16-17 11/16 @ BALLROOM & 11/17 @ OTHER SIDE

LEFT COAST COUNTRY

11/16 W/ GOOD ENOUGH FOR GOOD TIMES FEAT ROBERT MERCURIO & JEFF RAINES OF GALACTIC 11/17 W/ SAM HOLT BAND

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 10

THE NEW MASTERSOUNDS

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 17

PAPADOSIO

W/ OCTOPUS NEBULA

FRIDAY NOVEMBER 9

THE MALAH

ORCHARD LOUNGE W/ HUMAN AGENCY

SUNDAY NOVEMBER 11

FREE SHOW!! THE BOOM BOOMS MONDAY NOVEMBER 12

FRIDAY DECEMBER 21 SUB.MISSION & CERVANTES’ PRESENT

J.U.I.C.E. (SCRIBBLE JAM MC BATTLE CHAMP) & ROBUST (GALLAPAGOS 4)

W/ SHIGETO

THURSDAY NOVEMBER 15

THE END OF THE WORLD MADLIB SATURDAY DECEMBER 1

W/ ILL SE7EN & ODX

THE CHESTPLATE TOUR

HEAD FOR THE HILLS

FEAT DISTANCE, TUNNIDGE & DISTRICT

FRIDAY & SATURDAY DECEMBER 7-8

RADICAL SOMETHING

W/ NIGEL HALL

FEAT JOE TATTON OF THE NEW MASTERSOUNDS & MEMBERS OF FOX STREET ALLSTARS & KINETIX

W/ PICKIN’ ON ZEPPELIN & MODEST MOUSE PERFORMED BY IRON HORSE

SOULIVE & KYLE HOLLINGSWORTH BAND FRIDAY & SATURDAY DECEMBER 28-29

IVAN NEVILLE’S DUMPSTAPHUNK & THE PIMPS OF JOYTIME W/ SPECIAL GUESTS

SUNDAY DECEMBER 30

TIPPER & RANDOM RAB MONDAY DECEMBER 31 (NYE)

CHRIS ROBINSON BROTHERHOOD

W/ SUBLIMINAL & DILLARD

FRIDAY NOVEMBER 16

THURSDAY NOVEMBER 29

RODINA

FRIDAY & SATURDAY NOVEMBER 30 - DECEMBER 1

BROTHERS PAST

11/30 W/ TIGER PARTY (FEAT MEMBERS OF LOTUS, OCTOPUS NEBULA & THE MALAH) & PAN ASTRAL 12/1 W/ ABLEMINDS & REALLIFEACTUAL

FRIDAY DECEMBER 7

DEAD WINTER CARPENTERS W/ GOOD GRAVY!

2637 Welton St • 303-297-1772 • CervantesMasterpiece.com TEXT CERVANTES TO 91944 FOR TICKET GIVEAWAYS, DRINK SPECIALS, DISCOUNTED TICKET PROMOTIONS & MORE

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D Stylz

A Philly infusion hits Denver hip-hop.

C

ommonplace mainstream hip-hop, and the general perception that goes along with it, has produced a skewed view of what hip-hop really is. Imagine what the pioneers of the scene would say now about what the music has become. However, Fort Collins is proud to boast a new addition to the canon, a man out to change the status quo and add a much-wanted sound to the Front Range’s musical smorgasbord. Meet D-Stylz. Once on a full-ride drum line scholarship to Adams State College, David Gittings is using his lyrical skills and ambitions to set a new tone for hip-hop. He’s shared stages with Afroman, Raekwon, Wu-Tang, Logic and Mac Miller. If you’ve never heard of him before, you have now. To describe the sound of Philadelphia-born D-Stylz is to describe a sound that has been lost to hip-hop over the years. Thought it’s a slippery slope to use already known artists when describing a new sound, it’s safe to say D-Stylz flows like the Beastie Boys, recalls the remnant lyrical shuffle of Busta Rhymes and sprinkles Jay-Z style on top. Listen for yourself; personal interpretation encouraged. Combining forces with established Fort Collins DJ Macy Paradise, hailing from Buffalo, N.Y., the two have made local waves with a handful of tour dates set for the coming months. And why are these two on the forefront? Gittings put it plainly when talking about current hip-hop: “I cannot listen to the radio anymore: It’s constant repeats of the same song with no substance.” The message of D-Stylz’s music is positive. Don’t think Will Smith; just music that gets away from the standards of today’s hip-hop: embellishment and grandeur. D-Stylz’s musical influences came from his humble Philadelphia background. His grandfather introduced him to Notorius BIG and NWA. One of his earliest musical memories is being bounced on his mother’s leg as she listened to Motown with the family. Gittings said he considers family a major influence, accrediting them his with success he has had thus far in music. DJ Macy Paradise brings a caliber of showmanship to the duo’s shows. So

often the DJ is just the man spinning the track, but there is so much more to be heard from performers who share true chemistry. “People will feel much more than the song, I want them to feel me,” Stylz says. “Every show that happens. We try to show them something they have never seen before or expect ... I go up for a performance and people are thinking ,‘Who is this random opener?’ not feeling it, but once I start rapping, mouths are dropping. Proving people wrong.” Paradise said their greatest asset is the way they incorporate each other’s sound. “When people go to that first live He’s shared stages with Afroman, show, when you Raekwon, Wu-Tang, Logic and see someone get Mac Miller. If you’ve never heard down, and you’re like, ‘Holy shit, that of him before, you have now. changed my perception and life,’ it’s because someone rocked so hard that people get that feeling.” D-Stylz’s lyrics are uplifting, aiming to inspire and fill the void left by mediocre hip-hop; his part in hip-hop’s Renaissance is aimed at the issues facing his audience today. Gittings’ passion and commitment to the people around him — and to music itself — is clear. “Hip-Hop is not dead, it’s jaded,” he says. “Rap in general is negative right now. I cannot name too many artists that make me want to go out there and be somebody.” D-Stylz does. Take two hits, go to the show and get ready to have your world rocked.


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Photo pit

Matisyahu

Aesop Rock

Boulder Theater 10.12.12 photo: Simon Alexander

Fox Theatre 10.10.12 photo: Jules Kueffer

Dynohunter

The Werks

Bluebird Theater 10.4.12 photo: Jules Kueffer

Bluebird Theater 10.4.12 photo: Jules Kueffer

Kraddy

Cervantes Masterpiece Ballroom 10.4.12 photo: Jules Kueffer

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The XX

Bluebird Theater 10.17.12 photo: Jules Kueffer


Non-member pricing! Tax included! 25 + STRAINS, ALL TOP SHELF!

ALL OUNCES $180!

(Non-members plus tax, members tax included!)

PROUDLY CARRYING


SHOT OF THE MONTH Big Gigantic Red Rocks Amphitheatre 9.29.12

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R

MUSIC

music news

Because Kurt Loder’s old as shit.

Ke$ha flexes her writing skills

Ke$ha is set to release an autobiography called “My Crazy Beautiful Life.” Because you really need the back story to understand the three years she’s been famous.

Nelly’s tour bus gets busted in Texas

Nelly says he had no idea there was marijuana, heroin and a loaded gun on his tour bus. “Is it getting hot in here?” He was heard saying.

The Prodigy reach out to the community The Prodigy sponsored a youth football team. Apparently it meant kids’ soccer when it said, “Come play my game.”

Not joking about rehab

Green Day producer says front man Billie Joel Armstrong’s trip to rehab is “no joke.” Good thing he’s no stranger to the boulevard of broken dreams.

Flo Rida’s tells some crazy tour stories

The craziest thing he sees on tour is when people copy his signature move: sitting on his security guards’ shoulders. Somehow he still hasn’t figured out that move is actually a front for girls to flash their tits and get backstage.

Hippie, hippie hooray!

Music festivals see a record year in attendance in 2012. In completely unrelated news, Ultra Music Festival expands to two weekends in 2013.

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NOVEMBER ALBUM RELEASES

A few of this month’s upcoming albums. Crystal Castles III Aerosmith Music From Another Dimension Green day Dos! 50 Cent Street King Immortal Deftones Koi No Yokan Soundgarden King Animal major lazer Free The Universe Kid Rock Reel Soul Ghostface Killah Twelve Reasons to Die The Rolling Stones GRRR! Pitbull Global Warming Big boi Vicious Lies and Dangerous Rumors Rihanna Unapologetic Travis Barker and Yelwolf Psycho White Alicia Keys Girl On Fire

Win Sh*t 2 tickets to NOFX 2 tickets to Chali Tuna 2 tickets to Freddie Legrand 2 tickets to Asher Roth 2 tickets to Nas 2 tickets to Gramatik Find the Hidden Roosters throughout the Mag and Email promo.rooster@gmail.com for a chance to win.


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Classmate

Alyssa

Bell Name: Alyssa Bell Major: Business Management Hometown: Thornton, Colo. Favorite Food: Sushi ny Favorite Drink: Dark and Storr Non-alcoholic: Mint iced tea Favorite Music: Hip-hop

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What do you do in your free time? I take dance classes and spend time with my family and friends. Beach or mountains? Beach! Tanning, boogie boarding, and warm weather?! I’m there! Your favorite thing about college? ... All the parties?! ;)  What qualities do you like in a guy? I like a guy who has a sense of humor and who is honest with me. Blonde or brunette:   Brunette! Biggest turn off in a guy: Shadiness. If I feel that I’m being lied to or played out, I won’t hesitate to walk away. What’s your idea of a perfect date?   Being taken to dinner and then an activity of his choice that will show me a side of him. That way I learn something new and experience what he likes too. What’s your biggest pet peeve? People who constantly do not follow through with plans.  What’s the best way to win you over? Random acts of kindness. Whether its flowers or a simple goodnight text, it shows me you care about me without having to say it. Dream job: Going on tour with a famous artist as a back up dancer! Worst/best pickup line used on you? “What’s the worst pickup line someone has told you, so I can make sure I don’t use it?”  Celebrity crush: Nick Zano ... Oh my goodness! Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Married with children living in a house that I designed, and running my own company designing and building homes! Worst date experience:  Thankfully, I haven’t had any horrible ones yet! One thing you can’t live without: My iPod! Music keeps me sane! One thing people would never guess about you?  Though I’m a little white girl, hip-hop dancing is my specialty. What’s one thing you want to do before you die? I want to go skydiving! Just have to build up enough guts to do it. If you turned into a man for a day, what would you do? I would do all the things I can’t as a woman, like walk around in public with my shirt off. Worst fashion trend: Neon colored jeans! Bright yellow pants are not flattering on anyone. Who is your favorite author? My favorite author is Mitch Albom. Everyone needs to read his book “The Five People You Meet In Heaven.” Every girl should have: A pair of nude heels. Keeps any outfit simple, yet classy. What’s your worst drunken mistake? This one time ... I ate Taco Bell. Never again. Guilty pleasure: Watching “Jersey Shore.” Totally all for Team Meatballs! If you had $20 million what would you do with it?  I would buy my dream house and a Ferrari, then take care of all my family and friends needs. Then I’d donate some and of course have to go on a shopping spree! No. 1 phobia: Those french mustaches that curl on the ends. I seriously cannot stand those things! If you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?  Shrimp tempura rolls with cream cheese, mmm! Who’s your celebrity lesbian crush?  Jennifer Aniston with her chocolate brown hair like in “Horrible Bosses.” Just wow! If you were an animal which animal would you be?  I’d probably be a puppy. Tiny, but full of energy! Favorite type of bear: Polar bear! They are so adorable when they are little babies! One cause you’d stand up for in the world: Bullying. I was super nerdy in middle school, so I know what it’s like to be picked on. I’m thankful it didn’t affect me that negatively, but for some it does, which is why its something I’m really against!

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What are your hobbies, interests and activities? Riding my bike, pumping iron, smiling, reading books, cooking, painting and making diamonds out of water. What do you look for in a girl? Outgoing and sassy. What is your idea of a perfect date? Wine and dine. What kind of car do you drive? I don’t drive. What is your dream job? Stay-at-home dad. Where were you raised? I was born in Russia and moved to Colorado when I was 8. What is your tried-and-true seduction method? Just talk to ‘em. How would you describe your bedroom prowess? Power bottom. Have you ever been used by a girl? I think everyone has. If you were a dog, which breed would you be? Golden Retriever. Cat or dog person? Dog. Ass or boob guy? Ass. What’s your favorite part of the female anatomy? Lips. One thing you couldn’t live without: My friends. Do you like it when girls come on to you? It’s flattering but doesn’t happen a whole lot. Where is your favorite place you’ve traveled? Haven’t traveled much. If you could meet one person from the past, who would it be? Gandhi.

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If you could punch anyone in the face, alive or dead, who would it be and why? I’m not the violent type. Greatest phobia: Snakes. If you were stranded on a desert island, what three things would you want with you? Water, lube and “50 Shades of Grey.” Who’s your celebrity crush? Bar Rafaeli. What’s your favorite type of bear? Panda bear.

Hometown: Gatchina, Russia Major: Hospitality management and business

Favorite food: Sushi

Favorite drink: 5 Barrel Ale

Favorite music: Honestly, anything


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November 2012

CONTENTS 8 | Editor’s word 9 | Letters 10 | Events 14 | shows 26 | CLASSMATE

ROOSTER m

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Malternatives A foray into the world of neon flavored booze.

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Indigenous Sports And you thought curling was weird.

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Sports Bar Showdown We break it down so you don’t have to.

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Sunday Funday Giant flasks, stadium catheters and the best drink dispenser ever.

38 | DEAR IBBY 62 | GAMES 64 | CONFESSIONS 63 | MIXOLOGY 66 | PHOTOS 72 | HAPPY HOURs 78 | HOROSCOPE 79 | COUPONS 6


Scan to see magnified pictures of the buds that are on our shelf right now.


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Editor

EDITOR’S WORD

ROOSTER MAGAZINE

America is a sports country. The competition, Like our last relationship, Sports come with conthe shit talking, the feeling of belonging and a troversy. Although athletes make millions of dollars chance to drink early in the morning without beeach year, they have the financial and social prowing judged are some of the reasons we flock to ess of a baby goat and tend to make decisions not sporting events each year donning flags, giant finin their best interest, and definitely not in the best gers, jerseys and flasks of peppermint schnapps. interest of devoted fans. Luckily for you, we’ve When teams lose, we cry. When teams win, we documented these falls from greatness in this iscry. When we spill our $12 beer, we cry. sue: Michael Vick’s doggie daycare pales in comSports carry an inviting passion. A passion so parison to other athlete decisions. strong we endure the toughest elements for a As always, enjoy the issue, keep dreaming and chance to see a great game. A passion so strong, keep learning. One word sums up why we almost we tattoo team logos on our bodies as a sign of unmissed print deadline this month: Homeland. wavering dedication. A passion so strong, we will Watch it. You’ll understand why. buy car insurance because Aaron Rogers appears in a commercial. This issue is about the passion of Yours Truly, sports and the one common denominator among Simon Berger  all fans, tailgating. With our hopes of winning the office’s fantasy football league in the toilet, we’ve taken to the new pastime: tailgating. It eases the pain and heals the wounds of knowing the intern is going to win the pool. But tailgating takes on many shapes and forms. With the help from our reluctant and skeptical intern, we highlighted new products available to the most ardent fans in the game. Yes, we used our intern as the guinea pig. And what tailgate wouldn’t be complete without a tasty malt beverage to wash down the brats? Our malt beverage correspondent tested and reviewed today’s newWork for Rooster est lines of malt beverages so you won’t have to (thank us later). And finally, to accommodate that We’re hiring: Blueberry Pomegranate Colt 45 Blast malt beverage, Hapa_Rooster_fisherman.pdf 1 3/16/12 3:31 PM we provide you with an assortment of articles that are much funnier when read under the influence.

Berger Hoggatt Managing Editor Geof Wollerman Director of Photography Christoph DuFoe Art Director Craig

Copy Editor Brandy

Simmons Kohn, Erin Moriarty, Michael Flora, Dina Hood Contributing Writers Matt Allen, Cam Berghuis, Kevin Camino, Arthur Gowdy, Tanner Hadfield, Caitlin Knight, Caitlin McCluskey, Marcus Moritz, Phil Thurner, Pat Milberry, Jeff Sloan, Sarah Wells, Arthur Gowdy, Michael Chary Cameron MacPherson, Joe Newsome, Gregory Daurer, Jay Bennett Photo Contributors Jules Kueffer, Andrei Molchanov, Stephen Swindell Associate Editors Isabelle

Editorial Offices

Editorial office 720-583-6693

Editorial submissions RoosterMagazine@gmail.com Writing positions RoosterMagazine@gmail.com Press releases Promo.Rooster@gmail.com

Promotional inquiries Promo.Rooster@gmail.com

Subscriptions Subscriptions start at $4 a magazine. One and two year discounts are available. All back issues can be purchased on a per-issue basis and will be priced out as such.

Omission

The images for “Dispatches from the Cannabis Frontline” (October 2012) were taken by photographer Mike Seamans.

2012

Writers

Editor-in-Chief Simon

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CMY

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wild-caught fish coming soon to lodo 1514 Blake Street Denver, CO

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ROOSTER MAGAZINE

Publisher Ethan

Sklar

Boulder Sales Executive Dominik

Schatz Fisk Fort Collins Sales Executive Jordan Burnight Denver MMJ Sales Executive Linda Crane Denver Retail Sales Executive Greg

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Design Intern Bryn

Newman

ROOSTER MAGAZINE is a free monthly publication published on the first of each month by Premium Source, Inc. All contents of Rooster Magazine including logo are copyright 2012. Rooster does not assume responsibility for any unsolicited manuscripts, artwork or photographs. The opinions and experiences of the authors are strictly their own and not those of Rooster. Rooster does not advocate the use of drugs, legal or otherwise, nor is it responsible for the actions of its readers.

Letters to the Editor Dear Rooster,

Dear Rooster,

I had never read your magazine before, but my sister recently returned home to Wisconsin from her trip to Colorado, bringing with her the October issue of Rooster. As I was reading it, I noticed you forgot a right quotation mark in one of Ron Jeremy's quotes on page 62. At first, I wasn't going to mention this at all because I didn't want to be a dick, but then I saw another error on page 69 in the article "What It Takes to Campaign These Days" that, as a Wisconsinite, I cannot ignore. The article reads "...their failed bid to oust Minnesota Gov. Scott Walker." Scott Walker is the governor of Wisconsin, not Minnesota. Again, I'm really not trying to be a dick, I swear. I think you have a great publication and it offers something straightforward beyond the normal free publication. It's just that you got a fact wrong about my state. —Aaron

Love your magazine, but seriously, Boulder bar pics have gone downhill. —Meg Dear Rooster, I couldn’t even read your last cover story. I began reading it but it was too much. I know you push the envelope but both candidates in bed and having the most sexual interview possible? Really? I still love you guys, even when it’s obvious you have issues. —Ryan Dear Rooster, I had to write in about my stupidity after I truly thought you did an interview with the candidates. I quickly realized that was not the case. I should have guessed. Keep up the good work and maybe next election you WILL have an interview with the candidates. Embarrassed reader, Joanna

Submit your love or hate to RoosterMagazine@gmail.com.

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November 2012  

Rooster Magazine November 2012

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