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Rogue News

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April 9, 2009

by Žena Shelton

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to go to a fashion show- the lights pulsating to the music, and the models slinking down the runway? Well, you’re in luck because Ashland High School senior Alain Barrett is organizing a Project Runway for AHS students. This fashion show, called Ashland Runway, will be held on May 1 from 6pm to 8pm at Grilla Bites and is a fundraiser for the AHS Fiber Arts Department. Donations will be asked for at the door and t-shirts promoting the event will be sold on the quad and at the show. The contestants in the show must currently be in at least one Fiber Arts class at AHS, which can be any level. However, there are two different categories of contestants that can compete in Ashland Runway. The lower level must make a bag, and the higher level will make a dress. Either level of designer can use a pattern to make her garment, she must add some unique quality to it and later explain to the judges why she did that and how it made her garment unique. Designers will have one month to make their piece and will also receive a $20 gift certificate to Fabric of Vision to purchase their materials. Sewers can spend more than this, but a limit will be determined as to how much over the $20 designers can spend. Designers are also responsible for finding their own models. The judges for this event will be three community members that have yet to be picked. A winner from each category will be selected, and each winner will receive a package of sewing supplies, gift certificates to various shops and a professional portfolio shoot. If you love fashion, if you just want to watch a unique performance of AHS students’ work or you simply enjoy food, come on down to Grilla Bites on May 1, for a first ever Ashland Runway.

Kylie Petermann studies diligently in the library.

e h t n o t e i u q All

Photo by Grace Riley-Adams

testing front

by Jackson Santee Over halfway there; roughly 63 days and counting, and the summer sunshine finally peaks out for the season, the reservoir becomes bearable and the streets of Ashland become overrun with tourists. Sounds like a picturesque scene full of beauty and relaxation besides one small detail – the agonizing three or more hours some will have to spend with their hands cramping, and their brains pulsating while they fill in the scantrons of the AP or SAT II tests. If you haven’t paid the 86 bucks yet, you better get on it because when the flowers begin to bloom and the birds begin to chatter; the libraries become packed, and students begin to whimper in fear of the AP tests. Now, of course, these tests are optional and not everyone is going to take them, but the importance of taking these tests when applying to extremely competitive colleges can’t be overstressed. Many schools (in fact almost all) regard your rigor of curriculum an extremely important factor when reviewing your transcript and résumé among others like your GPA,

standardized test scores (referring to the SAT/ACT), class rank, etc. On to the nitty-gritty: the test is graded on a 1-5 scale corresponding to a regular school grade, 1-F, 2D, 3-C, 4-B, 5-A, and most schools only accept a 3 or higher (and these schools are increasingly only accepting a 4 or higher.) It all depends on the school, and the test, and this is moderately easy information to find out from the school website’s admissions page. “Well, it all depends on the school. Are apple pies better than peach pie?. It depends on if you grow apples or peaches,” said Karen Berman, an AHS staff member. For example, a school may only accept 4’s and 5’s on a history exam because the information is fairly straight forward, whereas they may accept a 3 on a Spanish exam because it’s a foreign language, after all, and its understandability varies from person to person. These tests aren’t all gloomy; they have their benefits. Each test, depending on the score, rewards you with a certain amount of college credit upon completion. This is awesome when applying freshman year and, say, you took three tests and scored 5s, and took three AP

classes corresponding to the class, you can wrap up your high school career with like 30 college credits – that’s major mula either you don’t have to borrow in student loans or have your parents shell out. The second half of the final testing process are the SAT IIs. These tests are, on average, incredibly easier than the AP tests and don’t require you to take an AP class. The College Board offers tests in various concentrations ranging from chemistry to Latin, and they are all multiple-choice tests with a basic fill-inthe-blank structure. The scoring of these tests are exactly the same as the SAT: a range from 200-800. Now, if these tests are testing the same topics, and are almost exactly the same, why does anyone take both of them? The SAT IIs are actually required for admission into some schools, whereas the AP tests are optional and only add luster. So, we’re almost done yet some of us still have so much more to do. These tests are the last few painful steps in the collegiate process and they’re almost out of the way. Good luck with your aspirations and may your college dreams come true.

April 9, 2009

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By Anna Hume A sophomore at the time, Rachel Kambury sat down in her bed with a pencil, a passion and an idea. Two and a half years and 550 pages later, Rachel’s historical fiction novel, “GRAVEL,” is complete. Gravel is a novel about World War II written in two perspectives. Half is told through journal entries of an American solider fighting on the European front, and the other half is through the eyes of the soldier’s grandson, 60 years later, sitting at his grandfathers grave and reading about his experiences. Rachel describes her novel as “heavy,” and is hoping that everyone will get something out of it. “ I would assume that a war novel would provoke some pretty deep emotion,” Kambury says. Although she was originally writing it solely for herself, with the support of her friends, family and teachers, Rachel has made the decision to publish Gravel on the self- publishing site Lulu. “It’s a huge risk,” she said, anticipation in her smile, “There are so many people who know and care so much about this war and there are tons of slight details that I could get wrong.” It would be a surprise if this novel turns out to be anything but accurate. Rachel has spent 4-6 hours everyday not only writing, but also studying World War II down to which guns were used in which battles. “I had always been really interested in World War II, so the research was really interesting to me,” Kambury says. Kambury wrote the first draft in nine months but didn’t quite like how it turned out. After taking part in November’s National Novel Writing Month, she was inspired to start again and spent a year writing her final

PROM By Elle Swarttouw

Prom is a prided tradition at Ashland High. However, with the economy in a recession, how much are kids willing to pay these days for limos, tuxedo’s, dresses and the works? “Well, for guys, its $100 for the tux … the prom tickets, which are $10 for singles and $18 for doubles… I remember when boys would save up all year long for prom,” Leadership teacher, Reed Sorenson said. Don’t forget about dinners ranging from $40-$80, and about $17.50-$25 for

draft. She had little time to take part in extracurricular activities and typical high school events “This book really became my high-school career,” she admitted “but it was so worth it.” After countless hours spent writing and editing, help from many teachers and acclaimed poet Vince Wixon and making crucial decisions ranging from the cover to the copyright, this adventure of Kambury’s is coming to an end. In one click of a mouse on the Lulu website, Rachel will be giving away a huge part of her life. “ I truly think post novel depression exists,” she says. “ Some people don’t really understand, but I am saying goodbye to people who I have lived with for two years, it’s pretty difficult.” Luckily, this creation will be available online soon on You can order both a hardcover and a paperback copy, and the cover was designed by art teacher, Mark Schoenleber and photo shopped by Rachel’s father, Dennis Kambury. Although this chapter of Rachel’s life is coming to an end, her writing career is hardly over. She is still waiting to hear back from some colleges, but knows she definitely wants to major in English and Writing. When talking about “GRAVEL,” Rachel has a tone in her voice that can only be heard when one discusses something they absolutely love. With such passion, determination and skill, it is clear that for Rachel, her life story has only just begun.

For more on GRAVEL visit

corsages. But, are AHS students really jumping the gun to pay these steep prices? Well, for the most part, not quite. As it turns out, spending money on prom is not a priority for many students. “I’m just going to tear apart my own clothes, sew them back together, and call it a dress,” sophomore, Yeruti Estigarribia said. This is a more affordable option than paying $100 or more for a dress. On average, most students aren’t ready to pay much over $100 this

year, which means a lot of handme-downs, and thrifty shopping. Girls don’t want to get their hair or make-up done these days while boys wish they could go in jeans and a tee shirt. It seems like hardly anyone is putting the financial effort into prom. It’s times like these we should ask ourselves: is prom all about the glitter and gold? Or maybe there is meaning enough in going at all, having a blast and remembering that school spirit doesn’t have a price tag.



From Rachel Kambury’s


...I guess this is goodnight. I can’t think of much else to say to you. Goodnight seems too naive, and goodbye sounds too premature. Makes it sound like we’re already dead, and it ain’t even D-Day yet. I don’t want to think this is my last night of normal living, or living in general, but it just might be. I could be dead by Friday. I could get hit right as I make the jump out of the plane and land on a mess on Omaha Beach. To hell with it, dear journal - that fear, it’s come back. And it’s come back real strong and it ain’t leaving so easily this time. It’s kind of bitter and sour on the tongue and makes the stomach turn and turn. I’m scared to death, and we’re not even in Normandy yet. We’re still in ye jolly ol’ England, safe and sound, ready to bunk down for the night. But no one’s sleeping. I don’t think anyone’s gonna sleep tonight. I might never sleep again, or I might be in for the big sleep real soon. It’s just another thing in life I took for granted. But really, dear journal... This is the end of my innocence.

Buy the book for more!


It’s every teenager’s nightmare. Imagine, you’re walking through the crowded halls or chatting with your friends on the quad. . Out of the corner of your eye, you see a familiar face; your mom nd Although the average kid would probably run away and prete nts they didn’t know this embarrassing creature, for several stude d the here at AHS, it’s completely normal to see their parents aroun

the campus. In fact, most of them don’t mind having parents on AHS staff at all. Here’s some students who have their peers hang out with their dad every day, bump into their mom in the cafeteria and are never able to get away with the “dog ate my homework” excuse.

The most awkward thing is when I have her friends in class.

Mr. Huard and Jeremy Huard

she depends on me to keep her organized. Mrs.Anderson and Micheala Anderson

Mrs. Stewart, and Shelly Stewart

Teacher’s kids get in trouble too! My chemistry group set a trash can on fire in his class.

Mr. Lebo and Tylson Lebo.

Mr. Wolff & Dakota Wolff

Sexual Assault Awareness Month

Illustration by Heather ____

Inform yourself on an issue that affects all Ashlanders

by Phoebe Parker-Shames Ashland is extremely receptive to the world’s problems. We hear about the plight of those living in other countries where women must go veiled and homosexuality is a crime punishable by death, and we are truly appalled. Ashland takes pride in the fact that we are aware of world crises and that we attempt to do something about them. However, the issue of sexual assault and abuse is not just a problem in Saudi Arabia, or Somalia, or Pakistan- it’s a problem right here in Ashland. According to “Rape in Oregon: A Report to the State,” More than 12,000 adult women in Jackson County are survivors of forcible rapethat’s nearly 17 percent of all adult women in the county. The publishers of the study warned that this number is actually an underestimation and doesn’t even include male victims, children and adolescents, or drug and alcohol-facilitated rapes. According to Jackson County SART (Sexual Assault Response Team), generally accepted statistics for the proportion of rape-survivors nationwide (supported by research including the CDC-funded Adverse Childhood Experience study) is one in four for women and one in six for men by the age of 18. What is it about our culture that allows this to happen? How can it be that even at Ashland High School, a place that prides itself on its acceptance of diversity and respect of individuality, I still hear rape jokes and gay smears. We are not immune from discrimination, and the more we think “that sort of thing doesn’t happen here,” the harder it becomes to combat the problem. April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Now is the time to become informed and active about this issue. It is difficult to confront and combat an issue that is so embedded and supported by our culture. We are engulfed in advertisements and movies that portray women as objects that exist for sexual gratification. We are surrounded by stereotypes that say “real” men don’t get raped and straight men don’t speak out against sexism. The Sexual Assault Prevention and Awareness Center publishes a “Sexism in Advertising Campaign” each year on their website. It is disturbing how much of an accepted part of our culture sexist stereotypes are. Why is it OK for Noxema to publish a skin wash ad that implies women should enjoy street harassment? The ad displays an impossibly thin girl walking past a construction zone with the words “Wash. Get noticed. Pretend to be annoyed. Repeat.” above her. When a girl wants attention, does that really include catcalls and inappropriate gestures? Why does Dolce and Gabbana think that objectifying men’s sexuality is any more acceptable? In one of their Vogue Magazine ads, two naked men stand, heads down, facing away from

women who are grabbing them and leaning against them as if they were furniture. Just because the roles are reversed, why should that make sexual exploitation any more acceptable? These misconceptions and images protect a problem that is very real and very damaging. According to the American Medical Association, 80 percent of rape survivors suffer from ongoing psychological and physical problems like PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and are six times more likely to commit suicide than survivors of other crimes. Despite the serious side affects of sexual asault, 97 percent of rape victims will never see their attacker face any consequences (90 percent of Oregonian women never even report the crime in the first place) according to the SART website. Since rapists average 8-12 victims each according to the Department of Justice this puts us all at risk. Our concept of rape is also affected by our images of sexual roles. Rape is often viewed more as a crime of passion and uncontrollable lust brought on by short skirts and flirting; however, 71% of rapes are planned in advanced, and according to the US Department of Justice, 7 out of 10 women who were raped or sexually assaulted knew their attacker. Rape is rarely about physical appearance; The American Journal of Orthopsychiatry reported that 89% of rapists describe their victims as not “sexy” at all. So what can we do about the problem of sexual assault? Because of the private nature of rape and sexual abuse, the judicial system is not always very helpful. Our community has many important programs for helping victims of rape and other abuse like Community Works programs (the Dunn House, Lithia Springs Schools and others) and the Jackson County SART helpline (779-HELP). However, it is up to us to try and prevent those assaults from occurring in the first place, ultimately by changing the culture that under the surface of disgust accepts sexual assault as a part of the American life. Try to be aware of the world around you and to make others aware as well. The perpetuation of stereotypes is often subconscious and takes careful attention to break. If you hear friends calling people “fags,” “whores” or “gay,” you could talk to them and explain that using those sort of words perpetuates a culture of acceptability. You could also ask them to catch you when you use similar language. Rape is not a laughing matter, and I encourage you to keep an open dialog with your friends and talk about sexual stereotypes and abuse. Try to keep an open mind and remember that who you are does not dictate what you should talk about. Just because you’re straight doesn’t mean you can’t support gay rights, just because you’re a guy doesn’t mean you can’t ask your friends to stop making sexist comments. This is Ashland, we’ve never been afraid to take on a problem and change the norms of society, and this issue is no different.

What can you do? “Many people never tell anyone they’ve been sexually assaulted. Often they’re afraid they won’t be believed or they’ll be blamed for what happened. Sometimes they’re ashamed. You can make a big difference in their lives simply by learning how common misconceptions about sexual assault distort the way we see this crime and the people who survive it. Your knowledge and understanding can encourage survivors to come forward for care, to consider reporting their assault to police and to start reclaiming their lives. You can also have an impact on our community’s willingness to bring assailants to justice.” -www. For free, immediate care after a sexual assault: Go to any Jackson County hospital and tell them you are there for a sexual assault exam. Or call HelpLine: (541) 779-4357

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any people will concur that the best part of going to a dance is getting ready. Dinner is an enjoyable event as well. In recent years, the dance hasn’t been the main attraction of the evening. In fact, some people will get dressed up and go out to dinner on Homecoming or Winter Formal night, but not attend the dance. For those who actually purchase tickets and go in, the dance is often not what they expect. Perhaps this is because students have high expectations (fostered by popular chick flicks such as A Cinderella Story), or maybe dance quality really has gone down. Either way, here are a few suggestions: School dances tend to be all-too well lit, which is not conducive to the hot and sweaty dance feel. It’s difficult to ‘break it down’ when you can easily see everyone around you, doing relatively the same thing. Especially at the end of the dance, the abrupt transition to full light is unwanted. Gradually bring up the lights so that people don’t have to see each other. Another common complaint is that the music is boring, but whenever the dance coordinator attempts to diversify, the complaints double. It’s a thankless job, figuring out music for our dances. One solution would be to hire an actual DJ, rather than relying on an iPod playlist as DJ’s are better able to interact with the students. If the mass of bouncing high schoolers suddenly disperses at the beginning of a song, that song can quickly be changed to a more danceable tune. In this case, man trumps machine. However, the less expensive option is the one the leadership class has em-

April 9, 2009

By Ella Riley-Adams

ployed for prom this year: a suggestion box. Students are welcome to submit song suggestions for the playlist in the study skills room, or at Mr. Sorenson’s in Tech-1. When it comes to decorations, a minimalist approach is key. The cardboard creations in the middle of the dance floor are sometimes clever and always creative, but in all honesty, no one really cares about or sees them. The canopy that is set up in the old armory for prom creates an intimate space, which is perfect for the event. But for other dances, it’s better to forgo the attempts at ornamentation altogether. For jaded juniors and seniors, dances have gotten old. Our freshman years, there were dances almost every other week, whether they were on campus or off. Since then, increased restrictions have been placed on student hosts and dance venues have been severely limited. “I don’t know if we just thought it was more fun or if dances have actually gotten less fun, but either way, the quality has definitely decreased,” said junior Kylie Petermann. However, the freshmen see school dances with fresh eyes, and they enjoy them. “We really like dances…they bring everyone together and a lot of freshmen go,” said freshman Sarah Kasiah. “More people should go though,” added freshman Christa Tapp. Perhaps the rest of us should take a page from the freshmen’s book. “People should just try to enjoy dances instead of finding all the negative aspects,” said junior Calysta Rupert-Anderson. After all, things are what you make them. If we go into dances thinking they’ll be boring, then that will likely be the outcome. So regardless of the dance circumstances, it’s worth it to get dressed up, go with friends and make it fun. That’s one improvement that everyone-not just the dance coordinators-can take into account. As Bob Dylan says, “You shouldn’t let other people get your kicks for you.” It almost shouldn’t matter what the music is, or where the dance is held. It’s up to us, as individuals, to create a stellar experience.

Letter to the Editor I would like to respond to the column ”Ell It Like It Is,” in the March 12, 2009 issue of the Rogue News. I found this article to be truly offensive and considerably rude not only to the leadership class, but to the entire student body. As Ella stated, “Our students excel as individuals.” However, I believe that the unity Ella speaks of cannot be found among our student body by writing articles that tear apart what unity is already there. I think the Rogue News as well as Leadership are two groups at AHS that greatly work with the student body to report and create unity as well as school spirit. It is outrageous that someone from one of those groups would choose to put the other down while talking about unity and teamwork. It is crucial that we do not put down others and that we truly strive to be a team and work together! Another point stated in the article was that because of the leadership class’s lack of leadership, students have no school spirit. I would like to ask this question: What have the students done to create school spirit this year? I know that during spirit week barely anyone dressed up, including myself. Not to mention for students to attend the basketball games Mr. Schlect literally had to bribe everyone with an extended lunch.

I think these are examples of the limited spirit our school has had, and I refuse to point a finger at one particular class (such as leadership) or at any particular grade level. We are a team, and we agree with this! Yet as a team, it’s everyone’s responsibility to step up and create spirit to help lead our school! Blaming one class for their inability to lead the school is absolutely ridiculous and completely counteracts the idea of a school united as a team. We think this article has set a divider on where the blame truly lies. Dividing our school like this is a perfect example of separating the student body and ripping apart unity.

Editorial Board Editors-in-Chief...Arthur Lawniczak, Jackson Santee Front Page Editor...............Jesse Smith, Abbie Deal News Editors.......................................Sadie Shelton Feature Editor...................................Trevor Hilligoss In-Depth Editors..........Anna Hume, Pheobe ParkerShames, and Hannah Sayles Opinion Editors............Morgan Hall, Trevor Hilligoss Sports Editors.....................................Zach Kitamura Back Page Editors..........................Arthur Lawniczak Graphic Designer/Ad Designer...............Jesse Smith Managing Editor..................................Brenna Heater Advertising Managers....................Adam Pavlich and Alex Quadrini Distrubution Manager..........................Nicholas Dake

Students of Ashland High School: it is important that we understand that we are a unified body! Together we can either be strong and work as a team to be spirited, or we can be divided and write articles that divide us further. Certain strains have challenged our school this year, however, these times shouldn’t make us give up. Rather, we should stand up and act as one student body. Mahatma Gandhi once said, “Unity to be real must stand the severest strain without breaking.” Let’s band together to make this work. Signed,

Amie Jacobson, ASB Secretary

Rogue News • The Rogue News strives to practice professional journalism at Ashland High School. It aims to be a voice for the student body, and an important contribution to the school and community. In order to achieve this goal, the Rogue News attempts to do the following to the best of its ability. • Report accurate and objective information • Uphold all journalistic ethics and standards • Attempt to cover school events fairly and evenly. • Provide an outlet for voices within the school through letters to the editor and editorials. Unsigned editorials represent the views of the staff, all others are signed. Letters to the editor must be signed unless extenuating circumstances warrant a students name being withheld, as decided by the Editors-in-Chief or newspaper advisor.

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April 9, 2009

Fabio: An image of inspiration By Grace Riley-Adams To the Ashland High boys’ tennis team, Fabio is a mascot, an icon and… a cardboard cutout. To millions around the world Fabio is the fantasy of women. With his lustrous locks for hair and bulging biceps, he graces the covers of many romance novels, but to the AHS tennis team, he is a different man. Fabio, the varsity boy’s good luck charm, has accompanied them to every practice and match for the past three years. The honor to escort the 6’2” cardboard standup was bestowed on junior Alex Harris by Andrew Cataldo (class of ’08) at the end of last season. Alex Harris serves as Fabio watches over him.

Fabio has been an inspiration to all on the team and a valid distraction for opponents. During on of last year’s tournaments the Marshfield girls’ coach restricted the display of Fabio on the courts, claiming it “inappropriate.” Without the encouragement of this icon, the team placed poorly and played badly. Coincidence? Not likely. “Fabio transforms the 16 ordinary boys into one team of champions,” Alex Harris, one of four captains, said. With two more months in the season the Grizz boys hope that Fabio’s irresistible charm will win many more victories for the tennis team.

Photo Illustration By Grace Riley-Adams

AHS Coach: Tennis is his Streng-th By Sadie Shelton

Swing. Thwack. Swoosh. A faint clap pierces the air, but comes to an abrupt end when the next ball is served. This same sequence keeps playing out with an occasional squeak of the shoes on the court or an aggressive grunt by one of the competitors. A whisper is heard off in the distance critiquing the players. These sounds quickly spell out the sport tennis, but who did the whisper belong to? It came from Dick Streng, the Ashland High School’s boy’s tennis coach.   Streng has coached the AHS’s boy’s team for ten years. During this time, he has had players go to the state tournament eight of those seasons. He has also coached little league and basketball. By coaching other sports, he is able to bring different teaching styles and techniques to the team.     “He is very positive and helpful. He points out your mistakes, but says them in a good and humorous way, which is nice,” Jeff Laskos, a junior, said.     While coaching the team, he has also experienced Fabio [see inset story], a life size poster that brings special qualities to the team. “I don’t know how it [Fabio] started, but one day the kids pitched in five dollars to buy a poster and he [Fabio] showed up,” Streng said. This inspirational member of the team has experienced smiles from coaches and other play-

ers giving him head rubs, along with bus rides and games. “ I thought I got rid of him when Andrew Cataldo [an AHS graduate] gave him to our athletic director [Karl Kemper], but Alex Harris [a junior] brought him back this year,” Streng said. Besides coaching the boys and dealing with Fabio, he has played tennis for 55 years and is still swinging away at it. These years of experience all began with a vacation where he met a kid around his age who played. “I stepped onto the court and tried it [tennis] out and it was good,” Streng said. This is the specific reason he is now swinging a racket around, but his family also enjoyed the game of tennis and that helped him keep it up. “My family all played. My brothers and sisters played before me and so did my parents. That’s how they met,” Streng said. Streng is also a sixth grade teacher at the Ashland Middle School. He teaches an INC writing class, where he is trying to get the students affiliated with the high school. “I want them [the students in the INC writing class] to have a middle school voice magazine with editors, interviews, and articles,” Streng said. This class has currently submitted some poems online to the   While he is off at the middle school creating opportunities for his students, Streng still looks for- Dick Streng ward to the tennis season. “We’re always ready to play.”

Photo By Grace Riley-Adams

STAYing ahead of the pack By Zach Kitamura AHS athletes are often blessed by the support of the Ashland community, and the Grizzly tennis players are no exceptions. Much of the team’s support comes from Supporters of Tennis for Ashland Youth, or STAY. In fact, two to four thousand dollars are given each year for scholarships and equipment for athletes. STAY was founded by Ashland Tennis and Fitness Club, or ATFC, members Don and Ruth Rawls in 1995 and is currently governed by Ed Laskos, Laura Van, Steve Sacks and Lori Lawniczak. “We are a community based, grass roots tennis organization. It’s member driven, we’re non-profit,” Laskos, STAY chairman, said. Most of the money for the organization comes from the annual Big Al’s Tennis Tournament, the largest one of its kind in Southern Oregon, held in July.

Proceeds from the competition go to the AHS boy’s and girl’s tennis teams, the SOU women’s squad, and the ATFC. “STAY disperses the money amongst coaches to give out as they see fit,” Laskos said. STAY is a program that directly benefits the players and is open to anyone interested. “We are always looking for support from the community with our goal of supporting youth tennis,” Laskos said. Players appreciate the program and its support of the teams. “STAY has really helped us achieve our goal of becoming better athletes,” Senior Nick Cross said. Laskos points out that people play tennis long after their competitive careers and is a healthy activity that can be enjoyed by friends both young and old. “Tennis is a lifetime sport,” Laskos said.

By Arthur Lawniczak Once a year, Jones Soda bottles laughter. Admittedly, when you drink it, it may taste a little different. Consisting of a variety of flavors, geared towards humor, the Holiday Pack is put out by Jones Soda annually in order to raise money for an array of charities and arousing bursts of laughter. Founded by Peter van Stolk in the late 80s, Jones Soda emerged into a massive corporation. Moving their headquarters to Seattle, the company was founded on the premise that, “The world doesn’t need another soda.” Well, with the Holiday Pack, you’re not getting a soda, you’re getting a meal.      The Holiday Pack is made up of various quirky flavors; Turkey and Gravy, Sugar Plum, Egg Nog, Christmas Ham, Sweet Potato, Dinner Roll, Pea, Christmas Tree and Antacid are just a few from past years. On the side of the Holiday Pack box is a simple motto, “I dare you,” a motto depicting the very essence of the soda, daring. When Rogue News held a blind taste test for AHS, most of the flavors were described along the lines of “Putrid, but not too bad; it tastes like orange cream in a chlorine pool,” as sophomore Coco Amarotico said about the Sweet Potato soda.   Charlie bass was a victim of “ Is that toe jam?” the Pea soda; he described it as “A -Tanner Herbert warm thanksgiving fire while you slowly roast gingerbread, oh, and a splash of laundry detergent.”   Max Kiss tried the Antacid soda, describing it as, “Bubblegum; sort of a flavored candy cane.”      After testing the eight atrocious sodas and coming up with the same results, we decided to take things one step further- mixing them. Yes, we mixed flavors to create flavors. Max Dickinson Photo taken by Grace Riley-Adams was the first victim. Handing him a cup full of all the flavors, Tanner Herbert drinks an appalled look came over his face. “This reminds me of fungus, Christmas Ham soda. like the mold in the recycling bin.” Dickinson said.

Max Kiss enjoys the taste test

Photo taken by Azure Ginsberg

Yet the overall best description of these flavors was when Dylan Adams came along. “[This] makes me want to throw up. This taste is so peculiar and fowl I can’t put it in words,” Adams said.     All the flavors created a comical effect around the “It tastes like meat taste test. The victims, the juice” Rogue News staff included, couldn’t help but erupt into -Hannah Kechloain laughter when the victim’s blindly drank the soda and a surprised, vile look came upon their faces. Putting the flavors of these sodas into words is like trying to describe love to a man who’s never seen “Chocolat,” think about it; it may be philosophically deeper than you think. Well, if you wish to try them, too bad, the flavors sell out within mere hours after they come out on the Jones Soda website. So you’ll have to wait around until next year and test your taste, I dare you.

Photo taken by Azure Ginsberg

Nico Toll tests his taste

Hannah Kechloain drinksTurkey and Gravy soda. Photo taken by Grace Riley-Adams

Rogue News  

Ashland High School's feature newspaper.

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