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“The worst book I never read” Will Rust

How to impress clients.

By Anton “Dangerous” Mokhov

“He is a genius” Sir John Hegarty


Rule #1


The Night before:

Before going to any meeting with a client, always make sure you drink like a Ukranian border guard and stay up all night playing hide the sausage with your girlfriend. It is essential you turn up late at the meeting the next morning looking like this‌.


Rule #2


Clients like a bit of rock’n’roll: Planners can get away with appearing weird to clients, whereas creatives can get away with being outrageous. You can say “fuck” and client’s think its poetic revolution.


Rule #3


Always avoid meetings at the client’s office: If this does happen, here is a good list of diseases and illnesses to have the day before: -Ebola -Cold turkey -Typhoid -Malaria


Rule #4


At a meeting, clients expect creatives to start smoking joints: My advice here, is don,t disappoint the client. After about 14 minutes of looking at graphs, put your feet on the table and roll yourself a joint. You can pretend not even to look interested. The client will see you as no one’s yes-man, and respect you for it. 5

Rule #5


If the meeting is fucking dull, get in someone’s car and have a siesta: This may sound like a suicide tactic, especially if it’s an important client like Stella Artois or Jack Daniel,s, but all great creatives need to time to think. And sleep. We are not machines.


Rule #6


Client’s love to be shocked: Next time you have a client meeting, take a banana along. Talk about nothing but the banana. Even if the client’s business is tomato ketchup. Or hairspray. Change the clients logo into a banana. Make their products taste of bananas. Brilliant or what?


My next book…


“I love this guy!” Jamie Oliver

How to cook.

By Anton “Dangerous” Mokhov

“I lfell in love with him because of his cooking.” Nastia Romanoff



by Jeremy Sharp

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