Page 1



That’s right ladies and gentlemen this is what the one and only Evel Knieval ate for breakfast. Well, we think it is anyway… who gives a fuck? Cook it! It’s fucked up! Ingredients 3 rashers bacon sliced 6 eggs 6 smoked oysters 1 cup self raising flour 1 good beer 1 teaspoon Tabasco 1 green chilli sliced Half a cup of cream 1 small onion diced 2 cups veg oil 3-4 tortilla wraps salt and pepper Half a cup of grated cheese

We didn’t sell any advertising... Which shouldn’t be a surprise considering we didn’t even call anyone! So this is a recipe from our friends the Dirty Punk Chefs! Enjoy!

METHOD Combine eggs, cream, salt and pepper in bowl and set aside. Combine half the flour with a third of the beer. Dust oysters in a small amount of flour and dip into beer batter. In a pan heated with 2 cups of oil add oysters and cook until golden brown. Drain well. Heat a lightly oiled fry pan add onions, chilli, bacon and fry until the bacon is crisp. Remove from pan and set aside. Scramble the eggs and cream in the remaining oil. Warm tortillas and then add eggs, cheese & bacon fry-up to tortilla with some lashings of Tabasco. Roll that baby up and it’s ready for consumption with the rest of the fucking beer. Easy. CAUTION: ONLY TAKE WHEN EXTREMELY HUNG OVER OR IF YOU’RE EVEK KNIEVEL

A message from a guy who thinks he’s an editor Well, here it fucking is!

going to get bigger and better.

The first issue of Rock & Roll Magazine!

We may have a few new employees... Once they fail the drug test.. And we may have even more bands... Once we confirm them all!

Isn’t it pretty!

I really should take this opportunity to write But, you will all see that next month... something like “This is an accumulation of a lot of hard work and dedication...” or some shit So, what the fuck are you still doing here like that. reading this shit? I can’t be bothered though.

Get in there and sink your teeth into some Rock & Roll!

I’ll thank everyone who contributed.

There’s a fair bit to read!

Thanks. That’s my job done. What I will do is tell you about next months issue because we just want you to come back and read our little publication again... (Get a subscription. Go on. They’re good!)

The Powder Monkeys article is just fucking tops! Yeah, well that’s about it. We hope you enjoy it. Rock & Roll Motherfuckers!

This is kind of just like a trial run. We're just testing the waters with this one. We have plans. Big plans. Now, we won’t tell you what they are because next months Christmas and we don’t want to ruin the surprise. But lets just say that it’s

Shane Hilton/Editor

Rock & Roll Magazine is published by Rock & Roll Magazine Pty Ltd PO BOX 5034 Burnley VIC 3121 “Thank You, Thank You, All Square Now?”: Minnie “the Myna” Bird (you’re still the best), Roger & Georgia Murphy (Happy Birthday), Boxer, Meeshy the Office Cat (you look good Meows), the KKKitchen Crew (you know who you are), Toothless Jack (Santa Shorts!), Taylor & Bogan Robot Lighting, the Morrows (Where do you live now?), Eddie & Gav @Game Deficiency, Pudgey (Good Luck @ CherryFest), all the bands that agreed to be interviewed, the Farrell family, all the people who make us coffee, MeetWagon (prepare to MEAT), Sandra/MadDog Extra Special Thanks Mediocrity... Thanks for giving us jobs... & “Managers” who don’t manage to do anything

COPYRIGHT 2013 Rock & Roll Magazine Pty Ltd: No part may be reproduced without the consent of the copyright holder

In this issue of


BATPISS We went to the Tote and caught up with one of the hardest working bands in Australia! And yes we tell you how they got their name!


KRAM We speak to probably the most hard rocking dude in Byron Bay!


The Powder Monkeys We speak to John Nolan about the toughest Australian band of all time!


Toshi 8-Beat We find out about one Rock & Roll Job... Mach pelicans own in house sake master!


Something Fake

We make some shit up and be mean to people who don't really deserve it


Something Real We pick a fight and be mean to

people who do really deserve it!


Jungle Jim

The Jacks front man tells us all about Randy Marsh!


WHAT HAPPENS IN DENI! STAYS IN DENI! You know, they don’t just fuck goats and drive utes in Deniliquin! They also have the Deni Blues & Roots Festival! Now, that’s not the Ute Muster! The Ute Muster is the one that you blue and root (goats) at! This is the one with bands! Elvis Costello & The Imposters will be joining Boz Scaggs, Michael Franti and Spearhead, Steve Earle & The Dukes, Grace Potter & The Nocturnals, The Wailers, Soul Rebels, Neil Murray, Harry Hookey, John Mayer, Dr John & The Nite Trippers, The Doobie Brothers, Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, Gary Clark Jr, Russell Morris, Jasmine Rae and Cash Savage and the Last Drinks on April 19-20 2014! Not bad is it! If you want a ticket: You can camp onsite, sleep in a pub or just stay up annoying the shit out of everyone. Oh well... It won’t be the first time we’re beaten up by a goat fucker in a ute...

CHERRY SHOT THE SHERIFF & KICKED HIM WITH MY LEFT BOOT Ok... For the next month every Wednesday at Cherry Bar there’s this band. They are called Sheriff! We don’t know how you pronounce the name. It may be She-Riff. It might Cher-If. But whatever that pronunciation is it will be playing at Cherry and it’s free! Wow! You got to be in on that. And they won’t be alone either because My Left Boot will be there to make sure that they don’t get lonely! Aren’t they nice peoples! P.S: Sheriff will also be playing Cherryfest with Blues Pills, the Powder Monkeys, The BellRays, Kadavar, Chris Wilson’s Crown of Thorns, the Legends of Motorsport, the Mercy Kills, the Deep End, Money for Rope, the Sweethearts, Dead River, and Hoss. November 24th... Tickets

YOU OWE THE EDITOR OF ROCK & ROLL MAGAZINE MONEY Well, well, well! The Misfits are coming back to Australia! Time to pull out the tried and true press release about devil locks, ghoulish nights and leather jackets! Look... You know the drill! It’s the Misfits. You know you’re going to go so just buy your ticket. They cost $59+BF. But do us a favour! When they make you wait for the encore (and they will) really piss them off by shouting “Jerry’s a cheap cunt!” over and over again until he comes back out! And don’t roadie for them. They don’t pay... they offer money but they just don’t hand it over. Cunts.


THE SUNNYBOYS The Sunnyboys are back with a new best of and a tour! The album contains a predebut album demo and alternative mixes from the 1982 album Individuals. There will probably be a booklet in there as well. If you want to get down and watch the Sunnyboys they will be playing at: The Northern, Byron Bay, March 14th & 15th The Forum, Melbourne, March 21st The Governor Hindmarsh, Adelaide, March 23rd Eaton's Hill Hotel, Brisbane, March 28th Enmore Theatre, Sydney, March 29th Tickets available from the venues and a whole heap of other places. The Sunnyboys Our Best Of will be released on December 16th. We’ll review it next month. No doubt we will gush and point out that Richard Burgman was the most talented musician to come out of Wagga Wagga....

THE FLAMIN’ GROOVIES RETURN I’ve got this book about Radio Birdman. Well, I used to have it. I’ve got no idea where it is nowadays. I’d say it’s been stolen. Anyway, in this book the Radio Birdman folk talk a awful lot about the Flamin’ Groovies and how in awe they were of them, their music and their tour bus. I really don’t know why they were in awe. Radio Birdman would have blown them off the stage with out really trying. Piece of piss. But you can’t deny the impact that these guys had. It was huge. Shake Some Action is a record that’s essential in everyone's collection and now they have a new EP coming out sometime in 2014. No word if they will return to Australia (they were here for the Hoodoo’s Dig It Up) but who knows? They might just pop their head up again soon. (the review for the first song off the new EP is at the back)

WIRE Influential English post punk noise merchants Wire will return to Australia in support of this years release Change Becomes Us. Changes Become Us is an album made up of songs based on ideas from 19791980 and rearranged versions of older songs. Pretty weird right! “Yeah remember that vague thought I had almost 40 years ago... That’s going to be our new song” But seriously I saw Wire years ago and it changed me. It was one of the most intense gigs I’ve ever been to. I was 19 and I got scared. Wire are a band that have changed a lot of people lives. Wire will be playing: The Zoo, Brisbane, Feb 19 Oxford Art Factory, Sydney, Feb 20 The Corner Hotel, Melbourne, Feb 21 Perth Festival, Perth, Feb 24 Tickets available at the venues.


FACE THE MUSIC God help us! On November 15v & 16th there’s going to be a lot of self congratulatory pats on the back and bad selfies being taken. Why? Well, it’s the Face the Music Australasian Worldwide Music Expo.... What the fuck is that? Well, apart from a complete waste of time it’s somewhere that people, either local or those international jetsetters, from the music industry get together and have a good old fashioned chin wag about stuff. What kind of stuff? Who knows? No doubt they’ll talk about festivals, Spotify, who’s got the better scam and all those really imporatant issues. But there will be creative workshops, master classes and topical panels. I think the only thing we’d be interested is Adalita talking about her favourite movies. But this isn’t just for the industry pundits. They want you to get involved as well. It will cost you $60 for a one day conference pass or $90 for a 2 day conference pass. Would we go? Probably not but we’re drunken fools who have no hope of ever being a part of the industry so we will just go to a gig or two. But, no this is pretty serious apparently.

SOUNDWAVE ANNOUNCE SECOND LINEUP To your right you will see the full list of bands (at time of printing anyway) that will be playing at Soundwave 2014. It’s a fucking monster bill isn’t it... We worked out that if it ran on one stage over 24 hours each band would get a 16 & 1/2 minute set if there was no delays between bands, no lunch break and no time travel... Luckily, they have more than one stage and it doesn’t go for 24 hours... Tickets are still available. We don’t know who we would want to watch... The Stiff Little Fingers... Terror... Nancy Vandal...Rocket From The Crypt... Living Colour... Oh, fucked if we know! There’s going to be more band members than fucking fans. What a fucking line up! Are they going to release more? Don’t tell me there’s a third announcement! There’s not enough ink to stamp the visas... But yeah... go buy your tickets and have a good day kids. I’m going to sit at home and do nothing.... Maybe complain about how I’m too old and too poor to go to festivals. With any luck there will be a couple of sideshows. Well, fingers crossed anyway.



Article: Strawb G Hetti Image: Supplied

Batpiss are the kind of band that live and breathe everything Batpiss. And why not?

my joint. A heap of kids would come around to skate and I met Marty there once..

There’s no point being in a band just so you can say “Oh yeah! I’m in a band! I’m pretty fucking cool”

M: I was rollerblading back then. A bit of a legend.

That’s not the point of making music. Being in a band means doing what these boys are doing. Playing as much as you can, recording when you can and doing whatever you can to get to that next eardrum.

T: Yeah, but we met up here at Tote. Marty's brother got me a job here. M: We hadn't seen each other in 10 or 12 years and all of a sudden we're in a band together. What did you all grow up listening too?

M: I grew up listening to metal. I had an older brother who was in a metal band back in Canberra so I was pretty much into the While their debut Nuclear Winter sent a shiver through spines everywhere when it was heavier shit until I started growing out of released earlier in the year it’s playing live that a bit and started listening to pretty much everything. where these 3 shine. That next person who hasn’t heard Batpiss.

They’re a band that knows what they’re doing. When a close friend of Rock & Roll Magazine (a guy who’s forgotten more about music than we will ever know) walked out of the Bronx gig earlier in the year he simply said “Well, that was a good Batpiss show” That’s not bullshit either. That’s just an example of the intensity these guys play with. They’re not a band that do things by halves. Rock & Roll Magazine caught up with Thomy (bass/vocals) and Marty (drums) at their home base Melbourne’s legendary Tote Hotel... You guys must get the "Fuck, you guys are loud!" thing a fair bit? Thomy: Yeah Marty: A fair bit. T: We're either too loud or not loud enough

T: Just punk music and shit... I kinda slowly got into hard-core and metal and shit. But anything really. Blues or World Music or whatever... I'll listen to anything. Do those bands or music influence what Batpiss are doing? M: I think we kind of all had a band in the back of our mind when we started out that we wanted to head towards. I know for me I was influenced by the Dwarves. I wanted to have that punch on the drums. The simple, kind of, straight up ride and hi-hat stuff. T: Just simple riffs M: We were influenced a lot by OFF! They'd just started releasing those video clips and we had just started jamming. After hearing them we wrote 3 or 4 of our more punky songs. What is the song writing process. Do you have a creative force or do you all get together and just kind of jam it out?

M: It's pretty much a shit show if it's not loud T: Yeah... me or Pirie will come up with a riff or something and we will just have a jam. for us. T: We played this show the other night and we M: A lot of shit talking goes on about the songs. We'll go and have a bit of a bong couldn't hear dick. It was just fucked. session and just talk about the theme of the M: If the shows a bit louder it just seem to go song. Each song kind of has its own theme. It's down better. It just better when it's loud. either something that we've been joking about for a while or something that's been pissing T: Yeah... really fucking loud. us off. Pirie's a bit of a weird dude as well. So, where are Batpiss from? What's the Batpiss His got some pretty out there ideas. They're a story? bit trippy. T: Me and Marty, we're from the same hometown. T: We just get in a room and turn it up. M: Goulbourn in New South Wales. M: I think every jam we've had is here at the T: We didn't really know each other growing up. Tote. We jam here every day so I guess there's Marty left when he was 12 or 13. a fair bit of influence all around us. M: I moved to Canberra. T: I had a couple of skate ramps and shit at

T: A lot of the influence we get is just from the bands around here too. The local bands.

M: Bit's of Shit and the Kremlings. The Kremlings are a band that have been kicking us in the balls a fair bit lately. We've been loving that shit.

What else are you listening too? Is there anything you listen to and think "Fuck, there's some good tunes"? M: I've been listening to a shit load of Beatles at home.

sound pretty raw so we just wanted to do a raw recording. M: That’s what Tom Lyngcoln suggested. Just record it raw. That straight up thing. We liked that approach. You must have been pretty chuffed to have him record you?

M: Yeah, his kind of taken us under his wing. He took us up to Brisbane and just gave us a T: I've been listening to a shit load of Howlin' lot of good word of mouth. Posting our shit Wolf and old blues shit. But the loud stuff... online and stuff like that. I've been listening to a lot of Metz. We’re T: He was just awesome to work with as well. doing a tour with them in December. They’re You’ve got a new video clip for “Loose Screws” as fucking sick. They’re from Toronto. A noise well. Boy, that’s got an interesting ending... rock band. M: Wicked City’s new album is coming out. That’s probably the most exciting thing of the year for me. They’re probably my favourite local band hands down. They’ve got their album launch here at the Tote.

T: We just wanted to stir the pot.

You guys have scored some pretty decent supports as well. Do you have that mentality to blow the headline off the stage?

M: Nothing was planned until a week before we shot it. We knew that if we were going to a film clip for that song that it would just be some cunt walking down the street stabbing cunts. Blood spraying everywhere kind of things. It’s not really meant to be saying anything but it’s a good time for it to be coming out with the gay marriage rights.

M: Definitely. I think we all say that shit before we play. Even if we love the band we want to go out and steal the fucking show off them. Why not? No-ones there to see us so it’s a good time to make an impression. T: Turn it up and destroy. Even before we supported OFF! We were shitting ourselves but that thought was there.

M: Those 2 just decided they would do it. T: They’re just our mates. Everyone in it are just mates. We just wanted to have a twist.

You guys are a band that are doing it the old fashioned way playing live to build an audience. Do you get a big kick out of playing live?

M: It was our first big support. We were like how did this happen?

T: That’s why we do it I suppose. That and we can’t say no. We just love playing. Since we started we’ve played hundreds of gigs.

T: I remember seeing Keith and it was like “Oh there he is!

M: After our first show we set up a gig here just in the front bar.

Your debut Nuclear Winter was released this year. Is T: The Ten Minutes At Ten O'clock. it nice to have something on record? M: The next night Bar Open or something T: Oh fuck yeah man! Holding that thing was called and said “We heard you did a ten just... “YEAH!” minute set last night. Do you want to come up It was all recorded here upstairs at the Tote? and do it here?” I think after our first show we played five days in a row. We don’t really M: Yeah. We recorded the album in about 10 do anything else but get pissed and talk hours. Probably not even that. about the band. Jam and all that. It was pretty much recorded live? T: You get people who say “Oh, you play too T: We just wanted to capture what we are. That much” but that’s what we do. live sound. What about the response after the show? Do you get M: Every sets different. We play songs a good reaction? different all the time. People might not M: We play a lot of metal shows and it’s notice but every time something's different. I always nice to hear those guys say “Good guess that’s why we did it live. show” after we’ve played with bands that are T: When you hear albums that bands bring out way above us in terms of talent. You know that are completely different to what they those bullshit good drummers and stuff like sound like live. Too polished or whatever. We

that. Getting appreciation from those guys is What happens on Planet Rugle? awesome. M: We’ll find out. Any plans to get back into the studio soon? So, you guys are playing over the summer months? T: Yeah. We haven’t made any plan that’s locked in but at the end of the year hopefully we will get something done. Maybe record a new album by February or March.

T: Yeah, we’ve got a bit but I think we will concentrate a lot on writing. We might go back to New Zealand. We toured over there last year and it was sick.

M: We have a split that’s meant to be coming out with Bit’s of Shit as well... a seven inch as well.

M: Hopefully we will get to Japan as well.

T: Yeah, the seven inch should be out next year. Any plans as far as what sound you want to get on record this time? T: Nah, I guess we’ll just keep it as loud as fuck and try not to think about it too much. That’s what we said at the start keep it simple because you don’t want to over do it too much. That’s why some the songs are pretty basic but less is more sometimes and we don’t even know what any of the songs are going to sound like. There’s no rules. We might come out with a Beatles album for all we know.. You never know.

T: Yeah the albums been selling in Japan and Europe so we want to get there. It’s time to go. Awesome. So to finish off the name Batpiss... M: Thomy was on a hot date one night in the beer garden here at the Tote and we’d been trying to think of a band name for ages. We’d been talking for ages about it. T: Batpiss was one of the names that we’d talked about. Heaps of weird shit. M: But that night Thomy ran past me with piss splattered all over his face saying “It’s Batpiss. The bands name is Batpiss”. He had to run home and get changed. It was like “Alright, let’s solidify it as Batpiss”.

On the what if’s... What do you think Batpiss would sound like if you got into a big studio with a slick producer?

T: It’s started going into Piries art and Batpiss is one of his characters. It’s a god thing. A skull demon thing.

M: I’m pretty interested in it.

Like Cthulhu?

T: I don’t know about the top of the line shit but for the next album I would like for it not to be recorded just in a room. I’d like to do it in a studio. A live studio album maybe. But I definitely wouldn’t want mad production levels or anything like that.. Our sound is as raw as fuck and I want to keep that. In saying that though would you still like to get in their and do a live album but with the more traditional arrangements? M: We seem to talk more about the themes of the songs before we start writing. We’ve been talking shit about this planet that Pirie made up one night when he was drunk. He does all the artwork as well? M: Yeah, he’s a tripper. I’m pretty sure there will be some Planet Rugle references on the next record?

M: Yeah. Or a kraken or something like that. T: Yeah, we were as stoned as fuck. It just kind of sealed the deal getting the shower. What did it smell like? T: It was a beautiful night. I had seen the shower coming down once before. I was with this chick and I was getting drenched. She said “What’s that” and I was like “Nothing, I’ll be back in a sec”. So I ran home and got changed and washed the face. It wasn’t nice. A bit of costume change? M: It just fell into our hands I guess!

Batpiss will be supporting Helmet at the HiFi December 18th Tickets available from

T: He’s a loose cunt. Planet Rugle? T: Which is just a nothing. M: It’s got nothing to do with anything.

Nuclear Winter is available now through Every Night Is A Saturday Night

Article: Shane Hilton

Image: Supplied

Spiderbait are band that need little introduction. Everyone knows Spiderbait. They’ve been around forever. In fact it will be 25 years next year. A milestone that any band would be happy to get too. If they were married that would be the silver anniversary. Not a fucking bad effort. A key to that longevity is there willingness not to just send out had worked once and hope we don't notice that it’s the same old same old. We caught up with Kram and talked a lot... Well, he did! We just kind of half interjected with grunting agreements and the odd question. Man, he can talk.

It was kind of bizzare.

So hows the little holiday been? What have you been up too? Well... Oh shit! I had a couple of kids. That’s pretty heavy going.

And you’ve built a new drum kit?

I wrote a TV show, did a lot of radio and just gasbagged my way around the country a bit with the media as you do.

Her crowd was really great to us. She let us use the whole stage and do whatever we want except for the giant trapeze which I wasn’t up for using anyway. She could compete in the Olympics for the US in gymnastics if she wanted to. It’s incredible. But we just got up and did our thing. We’ve had some pretty good supports over the years. We did Guns’n’Roses a few years ago in Sydney and it was massive. We have a lot of luck with those gigs because a lot of support bands can be treated not so well by the crowd but we weren’t. We had a big hit as well which helps.

No, I didn’t build it. I just got all my drums and turned into it a giant, massive, Alex Van Halen type of kit and started playing lots of metal. I was just taking everything I had and trying to create the biggest drum kit I could.

We did that Nick Cave tribute for Triple J too That was awesome fun. which was pretty cool. We sort of play few shows a year. When you’re basically a troubadour musician you take your chill out time and enjoy it when you can. So apart from a bit of that it’s nice to be back with new record.

What advice have you got for those kids that want to be a rock & roll drummer?

Did those gigs you were playing keep the fire in the belly?

You can be John Bonham or Maureen Tucker. Both equally as good drummers in my opinion because they both played amazing shit for the music they were playing.

I think that’s really the life blood of the band live performances. Especially with the festivals which is kind of what we do.

I would say drums are by far the most rewarding instrument because they are the most physical.

It’s not an instrument that you have to play I think we played a few pub shows. We played like a superstar. You can play it like a kid if you want but it’s such an important New Years Eve last year in Melbourne at the Espy which we haven’t done for ages. That was instrument. fun. It’s actually a really rewarding instrument Any gig that’s of interest we will entertain. to learn and find your own voice and Our last big show was at Splendour last year. personality in. Even if we only do one of those gigs per year we try to make it special and if the response from the crowd is fantastic it really does reignite the belief in what we’re all about.

Through drums you learn a lot of other instruments as well. I started playing drums and that’s how I learnt how to play guitar, keyboards and bass.

What was it like supporting Pink?

It’s kind of like the engine room of music to some but to me it’s the soul. It’s worth learning because it’s fucking great.

Pink was epic. We were spun out that we got offered the tour and that she was a fan.

Onto the record. What made you get back into the studio?


In a way we just needed a song that was we all thought was fucking totally us but was kind of new as well. Maybe something that we’d been wanting to do but we hadn’t done yet.

He was very much into pre-production.

It’s as much about the people that you meet We talked about it for a while. I started along the way as the work you’re doing. writing some songs and when I wrote Straight I’ve had a couple listens to the album and he seems Through The Sun everyone was like “Ok, let’s to have captured the album perfectly. Did you work do it”. on it in the studio or did you have it all before you went in? The seed of the whole record came from that.

That was that song. From there I kept writing with Whitt and Janet. We all wrote together and then Franc came on board. It took a couple of years to put the whole thing together but it just felt like it had been so long since we’d written a record we really felt like we wanted to do a new one.

The first thing Franc does is say “It doesn’t matter how long it takes to write. Just keep writing and when we feel like we’ve got enough songs then we will go into pre production” So we wrote pretty much for 2 years consistently. I did some sessions with him by myself. Me and Janet rented a house in Melbourne and did a few sessions. Me and Whitt rented a studio up in Byron which is where I live and jammed a lot.

Davey Atkins from the Resin Dogs and who was drumming in Wolfmother for a while has a It’s really rewarding writing records. Gigs are awesome fun and they’re great but you set great studio up here and he recorded us. That’s where we recorded Straight Through up how you’re going creatively a lot with the Sun. your records because they last forever I guess. We did bit’s and pieces over a number of months. One of the things that I wanted to do How was it working with Franc because he has had a was have a lot of time between those sessions few huge years hasn’t he? so you would get a really big difference in He went pretty much straight from the head space. Because we haven’t really been Grammys to us so it was awesome to work with happy with writing everything at once and him. then recording it all at once. We were just stoked that he was keen and he was a fan. He also embraced everything that our band is all about. He really liked the eclectic nature of the song writing and the two singers.

We don’t get that rich quality of song that is often just around the corner. The label was very much like “Just take your time. We don’t care about how long it takes. Just get the best record that you can”.

He really worked with me and Janet equally with just as much attention to detail.

They gave us a great budget and really opened ended time frame. They didn’t even want to hear any demos so they didn’t really hear anything until the record was finished. It was really old school in that way so we feel like we were really supported in that respect from them.

He was also very open to whatever song it was regardless of what genre it was or who was singing it. Whatever the best songs were for the record he wanted to record them. We also got along great as friends. We’ve become really close friends and that for us is a very important part of music. For us the music is very much about relationships. We hold a lot of trust, love and friendship with people because it’s a fickle business so you have take your friends where you find them and hang onto them with clenched fists because it’s easy to

The result was that because it was gradual. It did take a while to finish but it created a really great tapestry of different sounds and different moments. In the end we kind of went “This is a bit like the whole story of the band and of our whole lives” and that’s why we called it Spiderbait. Franc was instrumental in that whole

process. I don’t think we would have really quite done it the same without him.

The first time we played the Big Day Out and we played Old Man Sam. That was the first time we realised we had went from this pub Man, you’re stealing all my questions. It was a pretty punk rock band to a huge kind of stadium/ impressive drumming display from yourself. We festival band. The reaction was from 30 000 were impressed as shit. I'm glad we’re doing a real music mag because people. I think some of my best drumming ever is on That first moment like that you realise that this record. your bands made a leap that is amazing. There’s a few things like that. Some of Whitt’s guitar, my drumming and Janet's singing. Her singing on this album is amazing and it’s probably got more drum solos on it than all our other records put together so I’m stoked. But realistically I think that just comes from all the songs. Straight Through The Sun was the first song written so that was a few years ago. It’s Beautiful was written in Janet's house which has a studio. But then it was taken to Francs place in Richmond into another very sterile studio environment and then he moved to LA so it was one of the last things we did. It’s very different to the kind of punky, grunge sort of garage element of Straight Through The Sun and in those 2 songs, in those 2 writing environments, it’s kind of like a micro version of the whole album. Whatever we did we wanted to take it to it’s extreme and not be afraid to do anything.

Especially for a band like us who are 3 country kids who never aspired to much more than just playing punk rock shows and being a part of that scene. It’s a huge revelation. Also getting our number 1 with Black Betty was a really big thing for us. For anyone’s who an historian or a lover of pop music they know that getting a number 1 is just one of those weird, seemingly unattainable goals and to actually have it happen, again to a band like us, is something we will always cherish. Everyday essentially is a bonus and I really love being a musician. It’s a great life. Any special plans for next year? We’re getting a documentary made about us. This guy asked would we want them to make a doco and we were like “Yeah”. Initially it was a bit weird because we’d never had people film us while we were in the studio. But the longer it’s been going on the more we warmed to it. We started looking up a lot of the old footage we’ve got and Janet put this clip together which is the unofficial clip to It’s Beautiful which is the single that’s out now.

So if a moment came along for an insane drum She cut together this old footage of us moment I just went for it each time and ended playing at the Big Day Out, touring the up with a heap of them. Which was fucking States and Japan, and these old pub gigs. sick. It was kind of “Holy shit! It’s quite an amazing trip that we’ve been on” Next years 25 years of Spiderbait are there any special moments that stand out? It’s not until you actually see it, because we There’s a few. tend to live in the moment, that you look back on your career and say “Far out! That’s One I guess is the moment itself. I think we’re fucking awesome”. just really proud of that. That’s why I’ve been saying that this feels We kind of see ourselves as Paul Kelly, You like a debut record. Am I, Nick Cave, Hoodoo Gurus or whoever. Artists that have managed to last a long I think the more we get asked if we’re going time and to stay relevant. to do something for it the closer we will be to actually doing something big and making New material being played on Triple J like a celebration out of it. your old shit used to be. That in itself is something that’s pretty special. Well, for a bit of an average question... What have

you been listening too at the moment? Well, I’m listening to records.

radios going to get behind.

Me and Whitt were big fans of Pink Floyd.

Last question... Been playing much tennis? I actually play a fair bit. You’d probably remember the film clip with Alicia Molik that’s kind of gone down in rock & roll history now.

I feel like there’s been a big reaction to I’ve pulled my old record player out. This old that song and everyone seems to really love technics record player with an old amp I it. It’s a very song song! bought. We got Dan Sultan to do a solo on it. Dan's I live up in Byron and my pad is forest on solo on that is fucking insane. It was a real one side and beach on the other so it’s pretty pleasure that he wanted to play on the idyllic and chilled. It’s just great to walk record. around in board shorts all day, listening to The song itself is full of sleaze and Franc records and smoking a bit of pot. milked that to the extreme. He got me to do I just really got back into records. I started all this sleazy, lip smacking breathing and playing Pink Floyd Metal a lot. It was one all that sort of shit. record I played quite a lot.

I’ve been buying a lot of early 80’s Australian compilations records with all those hits. I don’t know if that’s your generation but I remember when we first started writing and making this record Franc When we did the clip together she was really played a lot of that stuff just to see if we cool. That song turned out to be a hit and it were into it.. was really great. And a lot of my Dads old John Mayall records. I lost my Dad when I was very young and I never really knew him. I was too young when he died to remember him but he left me a record collection. It was a lot of John Mayall, Led Zeppelin, Ac/Dc and Black Sabbath.

I’m a bit of collector and I collect vintage rackets and cricket bats and cars and drums and whatever really. I’ll fucking collect anything. She had a hit with some of my old rackets.

So I’ve been going back into that collection and kind of reflecting a bit.

That’s a good way to look at it. Thanks for the chat...

Whenever I do play I still tend to pull out I started listening to that really strongly all the old gear. when I was about 17 and that kind of made him really influential in making me who I am You like to play a bit of sport? from the grave I guess. It’s quite bizarre. Sport for me is very important. It’s a bit like spiritual healing in a physical way and I I was always afraid of the first Black tend to treat music like that too. Sabbath album that he had sitting there. I refused to listen to it because it looked so I think if people looked at their sport a scary but when I finally put it on one day it little more creatively and looked at their changed my life. It’s my favourite metal art a little bit more physically they’d be a album of all time. lot more happy.

If it’s vinyl I’ve been listening to it.

Yeah, no problems, Thank you...

There’s one track on the album “I’m Not You’re Slave” which has that T-Rex nice and sleazy vibe which we like a whole heap. Totally. That could be a single. I feel pretty strongly about it. We’re kind of unsure about what the next single will be. It’s always tricky with us. We can be pretty hit and miss because our songs are so eclectic that you’re never sure what one the

Spiderbait’s self titled album will be out November 15th... You should be able to get everywhere!



I like Mondays. Fuck, even my cat likes Mondays. In fact everyone in my house likes Mondays. Why? Because in our household we don't just call it "Monday". We call it Powder Monkeys Monday. Powder Monkeys Monday isn't that different to regular old Mondays except for the fact that we, as the name suggests, play a lot of Powder Monkeys records. The origins of Powder Monkeys Monday are kind of murky, some would say debatable, but we're pretty sure this day of musical appreciation sprung from the ashes of Sundays with Stan (Stanley Paulzen... the Sublets, Fred Astereo, Ruckrover, TLOT TLOT). For years, Stanley was the day manager on Sundays at the Corner Hotel and myself and other assorted ratbags were his little cleaner gimps. We'd spend Saturday night working or drinking or doing god knows what and on Sunday mornings we would all pile into the Corner at 10 o'clock in the morning a lot worse for wear but ready for a hard day's work while Stan played pinball and did the Sunday crosswords. Now, this was wasn't just cleaning a pub. It was an all out assault on the senses. This was a time when you were still allowed to enjoy tobacco at the same time as your alcohol and rock & roll. Remember those days?

The Unlikely Return Of Article: Shane Hilton

Images: Courtesy of John Nolan Super fucking awesome research assistant: Pudgey

They were great.

the better he looked) and with low levels of

There were some days at the Corner when you

bitching directed at the lazy sons of bitches

couldn't see a lick of carpet because of the mountains of cigarette butts and broken glass

that had left the" poo in a pot glass". At the end of the day we'd all sidle up to the bar

glued to the carpet (sticky carpet anyone?).

and proceed to get a lot more drunk than we

It was also a time when there was an almost

already were.

daily appearance of the dreaded "poo in a pot

Our drink of choice on Sundays was something


called the Stanley Special.

The "poo in a pot glass" is exactly what the name A Stanley Special was a beverage of amazing suggests. alcoholic volume and eclectic unknown mixes. Some asshole would shove a pot glass into a toilet and shit in it. Then he or she (That's right girls! You're way more disgusting than those with dicks! I'm still scarred from some of the fucked up things I've seen in female toilets) would wipe

I couldn't tell you what was in it. But whatever was in it was lethal. Drinking anymore than a dozen Stanley Specials

their arse and probably walk out without

(I couldn't tell you how many we drank but it was a lot) would invariably lead to you somehow

washing their hands.

making your way home only to find you didn't

The consequences of the "poo in a pot glass" are, as you can no doubt imagine, pretty fucking horrendous. If the toilets flushed, the pot glass and the paper on top of it would cause the toilet to overflow. Meaning that someone working on the night it occurred would have to shove their hand through wet toilet paper into shit and broken glass so the blockage could be cleared and normal drunken shitting could continue. Or they could just lock the toilet door and leave it for the cleaners in the morning. What would you do? Yeah, we cleaners dealt with a lot of shit. It was a fucking awful job (Still the perks were pretty good. Hint kids: be a cleaner at a venue! Free Rock & Roll and you don't have to serve people. It’s awesome). Stanley, bless him, would do everything he could to get us through the day.

have keys to open the front door. No keys? No problem. Who needs keys when you can just punch the glass out of the front window? Of course you'd wake up in the morning with the alarm ringing and your head thumping thinking "What the fucks going on? Where the fucks the window and why is there glass everywhere?" Let me assure you... you haven't been hung-over until you've had one courtesy of an overindulgence of Stanley Specials. It's something beyond description. It's even made worse when you eventually find your keys dangling from the lock in the front door as a testament to your inebriation. I broke my front window not once, not twice but three fucking times. It was a pretty natural state of being for myself and I always found the keys in the front door.

Usually that meant making us shots.

Mondays at the Corner Hotel were the days when the real work happened.

Alcohol, in times of complete despair, is a great

Anything that had been broken, graffitied or

motivator and believe me, we needed the

fucked up in anyway had to be fixed.

motivation. Of course Stan wasn't stupid. He wasn't getting us half loaded because he was a

It was also the day when you would liberally apply stupid amounts of orange oil to the carpets in a vain attempt to remove chewing gum.

nice guy (he is) but for the simple fact that if

Basically, everything you shouldn't do with a

we were given a taste of what awaited us at the

hangover we did.

end of the day we'd all work quickly (we were getting double bubble so the faster we finished

It was the perfect storm of idiocy.

Enter the Powder Monkeys. The Powder Monkeys being blasted out of the Corner Hotels sound system, at levels that usually cause ears to bleed, bowels to malfunction and frontal lobes to swell, was some kind of musical amphetamine that would turn us from a bunch of shabby, hung over miscreants unworthy of employment into unstoppable,

When Tim Hemensley passed away of a heroin overdose on July 21st, 2003 at the age of just 31, Australian music lost someone who was more than just the leader of uncompromising rock & roll band. It lost one of the true believers and true champions.

working machines that could turn piss stained urinals into mirrored works of art.

But it wasn’t just the Australian music community that lost someone.

Usually, any loud, sustained noise within the

Tim Hemensley was a son, a friend and a band mate.

vicinity of a hangover will bring most people to their knees begging for relief but this was the Powder Monkeys! It is rock & roll!


he history of the Powder Monkeys, like most bands, is a tale of extremes.


ohn Nolan is on his second life. Literally his second life. He was dead once before.

Back in 2001 John Nolan suffered an acute asthma attack. His already battered body couldn’t handle it. He simply died.

Every clichéd highest of highs and lowest of It’s something he casually refers to as the “time lows that a band can go through is a part of the I died”. He was dead for 4 and a half minutes. Powder Monkeys story. It took him a year to get back on stage with the It would be easy to sit back and only reflect on Powder Monkeys. He had to learn to walk again., the tragedy of the Powder Monkeys but put on he had to learn to live with serious restrictions any Powder Monkeys record and it will punch you on the way he could live his life to this day. straight in the face. But he did it. It doesn’t let you think about tragedy. It was nothing short of a miracle. The Powder Monkeys had the kind of swagger that But it was to be a miracle without a happy only comes with the knowledge that they could ending. Tim Hemensley would pass away just six bludgeon you to within an each of your life using nothing but a drenched in blood bass, some months after they got back to doing what they did best: playing rock & roll. drums, a guitar and a voice that was dripping with rock & roll. They’d hit you in a way that you’re internal organs would feel the surge and power through the soles of your feet. They were a meat and potatoes rock & roll band.

Talking to him you know that he would trade the second chance he got just to play one more gig with Tim Hemensley & Timmy Jack Ray. When Tim, John and Timmy Jack Ray formed the Powder Monkeys they all found what is the musical equivalent of a soul mate.

There wasn’t any room for anything else. Led by the charismatic, larger than life, late and great Tim Hemensley the Powder Monkeys burnt a hole through Australian music. While their contemporary's were happy to play safer music so they could score some air time on Triple J the Powder Monkeys threw everything that was expected of them back into the faces of those who wanted them to be something else. They lived hard. They played hard.

They were relentless, uncompromising and fucking incredible. If you think that AC/DC or Rose Tattoo define the sound of Australian music... you’re wrong. The Powder Monkeys would blow any band you could think of so far off the fucking stage that they would find pieces of them in whatever tax haven they live in.

They were a band that knew they weren't going to I remember once down at the Prince. It was packed make millions of dollars or get a number 1 album out and they were supporting the Celibate Rifles but they didn’t care. or maybe Mass Appeal. I had this friend who was mixing them and he'd That wasn’t what they wanted. worked out how to mike up these little Peaveys they were using. They were sounding like fucking They wanted to play their music their way. And Motörhead with these little amps set up on they did. chairs. They were playing Meat Cleaver Boy and I just If rock & roll was cancer the Powder Monkeys saw the crowd part. would have been terminal. It would have penetrated every part of their body and straight I was like "Fuck, I’ve got to see what's going on" I'm really tall so I can just look over and through the bones. there's Tim on his back screaming Meat Cleaver It’s the way they were. Boy. He’s going around in fucking circles kicking anyone who comes in contact with him. We sat down with John Nolan to get an insight Dave would see this stuff and see the fire in Tim into a band that will go down in history as one and would love it. of a kind. After Negative Waves was finally finished I couldn't believe the mistakes the bass player had made. I didn't say anything but one day I said to Dave that I couldn't see Bored going on anymore. You and Tim first played together in Bored. How did Tim end up in Bored? I thought we should call it a day. The way I explain it is that we were really About 2 weeks later I saw him again and in those tight with GOD. Dave Thomas (lead singer of Bored) 2 weeks GOD had broken up. Dave said "Look, how would go and see GOD and see Tim be a fucking about we kick Grant out and get Tim in?" total wild man on stage. Tim was already a really good friend and I The one song that Tim never played an didn't really want to quit Bored. instrument on was Meat Cleaver Boy. That was the So I changed my mind because I wanted to play only song. He sang that. He would leap into the with Tim. crowd and all that shit. So that's what happened. Tim joined the band.

Was it in Bored when the seed of the Powder Monkeys was planted? Well, kind of. Bored were on Glitterhouse Records in Europe. The same label as all the Sub Pop bands. I don't know if it was dumb Europeans thinking that we were from Seattle or whatever but Bored managed to sell a few records in Europe. We had this really slick tour planned and this was when Tim was just destroying the band at gigs. Tim wanted to quit but I knew we had this tour of Europe coming up and I deserved that tour. I wanted to be on that tour because I’d been through all the shit. I had to sit Tim down and say "Look we've got a chance to tour Europe and I don't want to do it without you" Dave didn't want to take him at all. He was totally convinced that Tim was going to destroy the tour. I had already made this pact with Tim because Tim was just destroying every gig those last 3 or 4 months before we went over to Europe. Walking off stage and all that shit. We'd sold one place out for all this big money and my little brother in his infinite wisdom lined up 5 double shots of scotch and goes "Tim,

Tim, Tim!" and Tim just goes "Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!". By the time he goes on stage it's hit him. There's this fuckwit up the front pogo-ing or whatever and he's just annoying the shit out of Tim so eventually Tim just fucking clocks him with his bass and then... I don't know if you know how big Tim's bass rig is but it's bigger than him. So, Tim clocks this guy with the bass and then tips the whole fucking bass rig over. Tim just jumped into the crowd and fucking bolted. The bouncers even started chasing him. The gig was over. We'd only fucking done 4 songs. I said to Dave "We can keep playing without the bass" Which we could. But no, that was it for Dave. Dave was pissed off. Afterwards I walked up to Tim's house and saw Tim. Tim thought I was going to chew his arse out. I came in and sat down like I was all pissed off but I ended up just pissing myself laughing. So that's when we made this pact that when we got back from Europe we'd quit and form our own band. That was the bargain struck. Bored only played one gig when we got back from Europe and Tim walked off halfway through the set. That was the end of the original Bored.

And the start of the Powder Monkeys? No. I was playing in Hoss after Bored for a while. Joel kind of knew that if Tim called I was gone. Tim finally called thank Christ. It took Tim about a year to finally ask me to get a band together but in that year all he must of been doing was writing songs because when he finally did ask me the first album was already written. In that year he'd written what was Smashed On A Knee. That first batch of songs was fucking amazing.

Aiden just stopped showing up after the first album came out and he’d been to Nimbin. Jed was just kind of phased out. I noticed that after the first album Tim had just stopped writing songs with any room for harmonica in them. Plus Jed made the mistake of taking his girlfriend on tour. Is there a story there? There is. but I won’t tell it. Let’s just say after that little tour in Tassie he was out of the band.

And the Powder Monkeys started out as 5 piece? Yeah, we had this idea that we wanted the twin guitars. I loved that big spread. One of Tim's high school friends Jed was a very limited harmonica player so he was in the band. And there was Aiden...

Fair enough. How did you guys end up getting Timmy Jack Ray? Well, we were practicing in a house near Victoria Park footy oval with this mohawked punk rock drummer and one day he didn't show up. So we asked if there was another drummer in the house just so we would have someone to keep time. I take it there were issues with Aiden? Well, there was this band, the Surfin' Poobars, Man, there was always going to be issues. He said who'd moved over from Tassie to play in he was a rhythm, guitarist... which he wasn’t. So Melbourne and they we're living in this house. we were always going to clash. I think the only They were like "There's Timmy..." reason Tim picked him was because he looked like TJ was asleep of course so we woke him up and he Keith Richards. came in and helped us out. By the end of that first practice with him we Is this the famous press release guy? offered him the gig. Yeah. He didn't know us from a bar of shit but he must of asked around because he ended up joining. What happened there? We were really lucky to get that guy because he's Tim called me one day and said “Take a look at something really special. Beat” or whatever it was. So I did and it said the Powder Monkeys won’t be playing for a while His a fucking freak isn't he! because the guitarist was going away. At the end of 2000 when we had to kick him out Well, I knew it wasn’t me! Aiden had this fucking that was the end of the Powder Monkeys. Kombi band and he was taking his girlfriend to He was irreplaceable. It was never the same after Nimbin or some shit. we kicked TJ out. Now, it was mine and Tim’s band. Aiden hadn’t even called anyone to say “Hey, this is what's going What was so special about TJ? on” TJ was more than a drummer. He's a real musician. That’s when the light bulb went on! I said to Tim Because we'd played so many gigs over the years “While he’s away lets play as many shows as we the 3 of us were almost telepathic on stage. We'd can” just look at each other and know... really know. I didn’t even want him in the band because he You know what I mean? wasn’t doing what he was meant to do. He had this amazing drumming ability too. That’s when me, Tim and TJ really clicked because I remember when we went to Europe and toured Jed was only playing on a few songs at each gig. with the Hellacopters, the Nomads and Wayne That was when the Powder Monkeys really started! Kramer. The drummer from Wayne Kramer's band who That’s when we found our groove. was this pommy guy. Well, this guy was the He didn’t last long then? The good thing was that we didn’t really have to kick those guys out. They kind of just kicked themselves out eventually.

drummer from Spinal Tap. He said to me backstage in Oslo "Timmy Jack is the best drummer on this tour"

He was right too. TJ is just a phenomenal musician.

Thank god when we got there the guys from Red Shift were there and we asked the drummer to play for us because TJ hadn’t rocked up. TJ was pretty infamous in the Powder Monkeys as well. I remember this band White Man Can’t Play Reggae He had a bit of habit of showing up late didn’t he? were playing before us and we get up on stage He was always late. It got to the stage that if we and before we start playing Tim says “Well, it were to be on stage at 10. We’d tell him we were looks like they proved it! White men really can’t playing at 9 and he still wouldn’t show up until play reggae!” 1030. All of a sudden there’s all this commotion and I look across and there’s this rubber boat coming And the speedboat? across that big lake in the middle of Sandown! Oh man! That was Sandown! There’s TJ in the boat waving his t-shirt shouting “Here I am! Here I am!” What happened there? He was literally right off the boat, straight on That’s one of our Tassie stories. stage to the kit and into the set. It was only We had this fucking horrible, highly dubious after the gig that we found out what had bitch who was our mixer/manager. happened. That this thing had tried to bed TJ. You can write that too. She was fucking horrid. She ended up stealing about $30 000 from us and And someone told me about an appearance on Rove fucked off to Europe. McManus’s Channel 31 show! Well, we were down in Launceston and me and Tim Someone gave a copy of that to me on DVD! It was were staying at Clintons. Clinton was our number one of Roves last shows on Channel 31 before he 1 fan and every time we were in Launceston we went and became a mega star. You could tell that would sleep on his floor while Timmy Jack would something was going to happen to him. He just stay at some other place. had this glow. So this time Timmy Jack and his friends are on I’m pretty sure if someone asked the cunt about the piss at wherever they’re staying. the Powder Monkeys he’d remember us. We had to be on a plane to Melbourne at 9 o'clock the next morning to play a festival supporting What happened? the Hoodoo Gurus out at Sandown Raceway. It’s pretty fucking funny. It wasn’t at the time But there’s Timmy Jack fucking hammered drunk. because TJ had just let us down. And this bitch is there with him and she’s We were meant to be playing on live TV but it was hammered as well. just me and Tim who showed up! So Timmy goes to bed drunk because his got to get Tim was just pissed off. You can see it in his up early for the plane. face as he’s playing. He takes off all his clothes and climbs into a It was the closet we got to a film clip. single bed. We got about 3 quarters through “Wasn’t Born Well, in she comes pissed and horny wanting to Yesterday” and then all of a sudden he appears fuck TJ. from behind a curtain looking like a stunned TJ opens up the window, grabs a bed sheet, leaps mullet. He had no idea where we were in the song. out the window and starts running. We were only meant to play the one song but Tim His walking the streets of Launceston in a leaned over and shouted Ying Yang and we just fucking bed sheet freezing. kept going playing Ying Yang. Of course there’s these jacks doing a night crawl I don’t think they even realised we played 2 and they see this... I don’t know... a ghost? songs... the fucking idiots. But there's TJ in a white bed sheet. So Timmy gets pulled in and he’s in gaol. Are there a lot of stories like that? Well, we’re at the airport waiting for TJ and here Yeah, especially with the touring and the live comes this Jenny bitch and she doesn’t tell us shows. It was like playing with children with what's happened but she says “Oh, Timmy Jacks in Tim & TJ. gaol!” We say “Well, we’re getting on the plane. You stay What were those first Powder Monkeys shows like? The first show we played was at the GB with Hoss here and get him back” because we have this and that was sold out. Then the second one was festival out at Sandown. sold out and then the third one. I think that’s So me and Tim are at Sandown.

when TJ figured that the Powder Monkeys were a better place for him. Before we knew it we were in the studio recording Smashed On A Knee. I think we’d only played 4 or 5 shows. But the first shows that every one remembers were the ones at the GB when we first started as a 3 piece. Man, we were so much looser.

I eventually figured out it was because every time we played there were subtle differences to the way we played. Sometimes it would be that slick sort of Hendrix thing or sometimes that hammer down speed grit bludgeon your guitar until there was fucking blood splattered all over your guitar. Take a band like Nursery Crimes. They would practice so much. They were so tight there was no room to breathe in the songs. There was no room Those Powder Monkeys live shows are legendary. What to take it somewhere if you were in a mood. were you guys doing live that makes people still talk It would always be exactly the fucking same about them today? every time. Every fucking time. I don’t know. Because we never practiced we always had that There was one period where we were really messed unknown quantity of whatever happened that day up when we didn’t practice at all. We didn’t or that week or whatever it would affect us. practice for a year. Literally a year. You never knew what you were going to get. You The only time we would practice was to learn a had to keep it interesting. It had to be fun. new song. There would be one practice. We’d learn the song and that would be it. There was a lot of fucking attitude in there too. I had this routine with the first song which was Fuck yeah. always “Into the Doldrums”. We were really proud of that great Australian I’d get up in the morning and put on my clothes history of the no bullshit, put up or die a and I’d have to go and work. really gruesome death, outer suburban beer barn And that night we’d have to play. stuff which made those bands like Rose Tattoo I’d still be in the same clothes that I put on and all that do what they did do. that morning. There weren’t any stage clothes. I know that at the Eureka Hotel, man, 800 people You know? packed in there, if you didn’t give them what I’d play it and I would think about the day. I was they wanted they’d fucking kill you. like “Was that today? Man that felt like a week Fucking Sherbet never played at the Eureka Hotel ago?” because they would of got killed in 1976. They I couldn’t figure out why people were coming to would have been murdered. see us. They were coming every fucking week. Those guys there were fucking working hard at We hadn’t added a song to the set list in a year Ford and Alcoa and Pilkington's. You had to give but these people were still coming to see us. it to them. You had to be the entertainment.

We were really aware of that. We wanted to be a part of that tradition but we couldn’t deny that we had grown up listening to hard-core punk as well. So we couldn’t deny that either. That was music that you played for yourself. It wasn’t for entertainment. We wanted to combine the 2 and that's what we did. At least that’s what I hope we did because that’s what we were aiming at. That might be what set us apart except maybe for Tim’s razor sharp lyrics. That was another thing that set us apart. Were there any shows that stand out? The show at.. I think it was the Palace… when the original Radio Birdman got back together with special guests Wayne Kramer. They had to fill the bottom of the bill and this guy who was promoting it had pick some other band instead of us. That was when Deniz was great and really came through for us because Deniz said “Where are the Powder Monkeys? Why aren’t the Powder Monkeys playing?” I think he might of got the old “Oh they’re nothing but trouble!” But he must of said “No they’re not. They’re playing. Just sort it.” So we got the bill. We were on first and it was just packed out. You know quarter past 9 and it’s packed out at the Palace. You know, sometimes you’re playing and you just lose track of time. Usually there’s someone side of stage saying “One more” or “That’s it. Get off”… whatever. I’m looking for the guy who does that but he’s gone out to the chick that’s mixing us and he’s screaming at her about us. Well, we just keep playing because no-one’s stopping us from playing. But this guy… I won’t mention his name but he knows who he is, well, he ends up turning the PA off on us. Our fold backs were still on so we couldn’t tell. The crowds couldn’t hear a thing but we didn’t know that on stage. So we kept playing. Well, by this time the guys blown a gasket and he must of thought “Ah, fuck it! I’ll close the curtains on ‘em!” The Palace had those big velveteen curtains and all of a sudden the curtains are closing on us. The kids out the front grabbed hold of the curtains and it’s just “Pop! Pop! Pop!” and they’re

pulling the curtains down. They wanted us to keep playing even though no-one could really hear us. We kind of took the hint that we should get off and this guy just starts screaming at us. All of a sudden like 2 school children running into our band room. There’s Deniz Tek and Wayne Kramer. We’re getting a pizzling from this promoter and Deniz and Wayne are saying “That was the greatest show I’ve ever seen in my life” and rah, rah, rah. It was just fabulous getting our pockets pissed into by those guys. I remember the bass player for Wayne Kramer took a photo of me with my hair out, sweaty and I’m in the middle of Wayne Kramer and Deniz Tek. Man, I’d die for that photo. That was just a great night and we played really well. If you guys weren’t headlining it seemed like you wanted to be the band remembered that night. Tim would just give that look that said “Man, noone’s going to follow us on stage”. We didn’t mean it in an evil way but anyone who was going to come after us were really going to have to earn their money. We wanted to earn it!

Note the blood...

There was no bad intentions. None of that Jerry Lee Lewis “Follow that…” Nothing. It was all in the spirit of rock & roll.

I remember we supported... it might have been Kim Salmon and the Surrealists at the Club in Collingwood. It was packed out and we were the main support band. Tim could get pretty fucking hostile with the crowds After every song, after that initial cheer we’d couldn’t he? get this hum of people talking. Oh yeah, man he loved it but that was his forte. I just ignored but it was obviously driving Tim Vocal taunts and that. fucking crazy. You play a gig and there’s a certain amount of About 2 thirds of the way through the show Tim the people in the audience that are just there to just screamed into the microphone “SHUT THE FUCK talk to each other. It was one of the reasons UP YOU YUPPIE CUNTS!” that we played so loud because you just It was just, snap, pin drop quiet. eliminate those fuck heads that are there just to talk to each other. He liked a bit of confrontation? They can go out to the beer garden or front bar Yeah! There was the time he destroyed Rollins to do it but not in front of us. band room as well! Because we were so loud by the end of the first song all those half assed cunts would be gone. I hope he didn’t drink his coffee... The rest we knew were there to hear us. No, it was worse. It got to a point where if it wasn’t packed out I was on the side of the stage packing up and and people weren’t right up the front it would be there’s fucking ‘Hippie’ Haskett (Chris Haskett, like a Mexican standoff. guitarist for the Rollins Band) beside me. Tim would be like “Come on, move forward. Move He goes “Man... What’s the deal with your bass forward. We’re not playing until you cunts move player man!” forward” and we would just stand there for five Well, I didn’t even know what had been going on minutes until people moved forward and Tim so I said “I don’t know. Why don’t you ask him?” would be satisfied. I think we were playing at the Old Greek and Then Tim would be like “Alright, let’s go!” across the road was a baked potato place. But I remember Tim doing some things that no Obviously the Rollins band were “vegetarian” so band who wanted to “make it” would do. there were four baked potatoes in the band room with fucking coleslaw and all that shit on them.

Tim was wandering around before the gig probably looking for beer to steal or some shit and he comes across these potatoes which were for the Rollins Band in their dressing room. It was the Rollins Band’s dressing room. No-one else was allowed in there. So Tim picks up these baked potatoes and just fucking smashes them against the wall.

What kind of a guy was he to you? Man, he was a brother. When he joined Bored! it was like I finally met a guy that had the same... you know perhaps we weren't listening to the same music at the time but we had the same attitude about playing music. About what a band should be. He was such a phenomenal bass player. I say this to people and I don’t think that people understand how much I mean it when I say that What the fuck for? There was no beer to steal I suppose. not only was Tim Hemensley the best bass player It was also just his way to get a bit of hate vibe I had ever played with but was possibly the going inside of himself. greatest rock & roll bass player I have ever It was to fire himself up. seen. Tim played with a fucking pick and he had that A lot of bouncers copped as well? fucking half stepping swagger that was just He could be just horrible. incredible. I remember in Bored! playing at the Palace and He played chords, he played harmony notes with those big full of speed bouncers. double strings and all with a pick. Tim was just pissed off his head when we were He was a natural too. leaving and his mouthed off at these bouncers. He played with other people as well. A lot of the older wiser guys were just like He played with Sunset Strip when they recorded “Whatever” because you know with Tim he couldn’t and that was really slow sort of druggy Neil fight for shit and they knew it. Young music but because the chord changes But Tim was going off and there was this one weren't as fast as the Powder Monkeys it just younger guy and he just wanted to kill him. gave Tim so much room to just let loose. So we’re dragging him away but he breaks free Listening to some of that stuff and it’s just and goes flying back, running full pelt to fight “Fuck!” 5 guys that would just stomp him death. So for me to be in a band with Tim. I just wanted Absolutely no fear. to play in a band with Tim for as long as I could.

You would have some of the best Tim Hemensley stories I suppose? I think people will hang onto the Tim Hemensley stories because when Tim died the scene changed so much. I don’t think people really understood how much Tim really was like a moral compass... well, not a moral compass but a rock & roll compass. Even when he was kind of destroying his life he was just so authentic. He was a real bullshit detector. He was just so committed to his life. Those last 6 months he was living it rough though. People say “Oh, he died of a heroin overdose and he was a junkie”. Man, he wasn’t a junkie. When he died he barely had a habit. Of course he was doing it but it wasn’t that bad. He was just Tim. When I was in the Caulfield Rehab Hospital Tim wouldn’t come and visit me and I couldn’t figure it out. He finally came out and saw me and made this mix tape for me. It’s a classic Hemensley mix tape. It’s just an old tape he got from a hock shop or something that he’s recorded over. It’s called “Hot Rockin’ Fucked Up Noise From Tim To His True Brother Dear Johnny” Anyway I only ever played side 2 of this because it was modern stuff like the Bellrays, Zeke and stuff like that. It was all on side 2. The other side just had that ’77 New York stuff and I never listened to it but one night, years after Tim had died, I must have just dozed off and the tape deck just started playing side 1 and it was just fucking really freaky scary because it was Tim. He was talking to me. I’ll play it for you.

It was like the ghost of Timmy Hemensley but it was Tim Hemensley. Just the sweetest fucking cat in the world. It’s just a special thing for me. He should have kept going on playing music and just developing. He was just a natural. His lyric were amazing. For a band playing trashy rock & roll which the Powder Monkeys did, that’s what separated us from the pack. The quality of Tim’s lyrics. No punk rock band, if that’s what you’d prefer to call the Powder Monkeys, punk-rock & roll or whatever, were writing songs with that quality. The humour, the violence, the hedonism, everything you want in rock & roll was so eloquently done without being pompous. There was absolutely no pomposity in Tim’s lyrics. Perhaps that swagger but no lyrical for the sake of being lyrical. It was just 100% natural. I can remember some of the nights that the lyrics happened in real life. You could of literally ripped the piece of paper out of Tim’s diary and that would have been Get The Girl Straight or any other song.

(John plays the tape) “Yo homie! What’s up G’? This is Mix Master Tim Hemensley at the controls here and I just thought you would be going stir crazy in that joint they got you in And I thought I would just make up a bit of a selection of music, old faves and new discoveries that I’ve been grooving on lately. Just a potpourri, and entire smorgasbord of rockin and cool grooves for you to get your teeth into and to hopefully put a smile on your face. A bit of sunshine in your heart! Ok Johnny I He was mad about wrestling wasn’t he? will be seeing you soon but for now dig this Yeah, we all loved it but Tim really fucking selection of good rocking shit. I love you my loved it. He was obsessed. friend and we will talk in more depth soon!” He just loved it all. The whole thing.

The first album was named after an old wrestling card but then it’s got the Hindenburg. Which to me is just crazy! I loved it! Dave Laing (from Dogmeat Records) hated it but I thought it was genius. He had a lot of presence on and off stage? I might have laid down some fat guitar and TJ might have smacked the drums but it was the Tim Hemensley show! He was the star! There was no doubt in my mind about that. I had no illusions about it. They were his songs and when it came to naming albums or whatever it was I’d always agree with what Tim came up with because it was always fantastic. Time Wounds All Heels was from a piece of graffiti around the corner from where he grew up. That graffiti was there ever since Tim could remember. When he said that was going to be the title of the second record I thought “Christ, that’s just perfect!”. Dave Laing had to get Steve Morgan to go down and take a photo of this graffiti which is the front cover. It’s been there all of Tim’s life and a month later the council scrubbed it off the wall!

She’d just sit there and little pre-pubescent Timmy would be screaming “Coppers around the corner!” He was the ultimate punk rock kid? Yeah 100%. He talked to me about a time even before that. I started really getting into the Beach Boys. Everyone thinks that the Beach Boys were the squeakiest clean band in the world but the Beach Boys are probably one of the most decadent fucked up bands ever. They were wild. Well, Tim was telling me that he used to busk in town on an old nylon stringed guitar and do surf songs. He was just doing all this stuff. If you go to his parents website for Collected Works (the Hemensleys bookshop) there’s a review there of Sid Sings that Tim did. You know the Malcolm McLaren throw away, cash in record that he did. You have to read it. The review is just absolute genius. It would have to be the only positive review of Sid Sings. He was doing all that stuff.

He had a lot up top then? For me it was all about emotion but Tim he was a lot smarter than me. He was schooled. He was very sharp. People who would see him onstage and not talk to him. They would form a view of him. What do you think motivated his personality? I don’t know… I think it was his parents. But then they would meet him and find that the His parents sent him to one of those free schools. perception they had of him from seeing him You know they were those really advanced hippie onstage was wrong. schools. I don’t know what they were called… He was just the sweetest guy in the world. steiner schools or something… Another thing was that if Tim met you once and You know the one’s I’m talking about? you told him your name he wouldn’t fucking forget. I think so. I think really advanced hippie school I’m horrible with names. I just can’t remember describes it pretty nicely. them. Yeah, they were the ones where you could He was just one of those guys. basically do whatever the fuck you wanted. You know, even with the support bands at gigs Tim could have been world famous ballet guy… when we were headlining. It was the only gig anything really. they’d get because no-one else would book them. He was that talented. Timmy would always be right up the front. But he discovered anarchism when he was 11 No one else would be but Tim would be up there years old and started the punk rock band. cheering them on. Of course back then if you were a minor the only He was 100% committed to it and the most way that you could get into a pub was if you compassionate guy. were accompanied by an adult. So, his mum Retta would go to these really scary How was it towards the end? punk gigs back then when Depression and that It got a bit weird towards the end. I remember the were playing in the old days. All the skinheads last gig we played and Tim had a bit of a and that! breakdown on stage. It was awesome rock & roll but it was a bad way to go out.

I didn’t hear from Tim for 5 or 6 months after that. He owed me a bit of money but it wasn’t something I was worried about. He was a friend and he never leant that much anyway but he felt guilty about it because that’s the way he was. Hoss were playing down at the Espy and I was still quite fragile... I think that’s what freaked him out was that after I died, you know, all the cerebral cortex damage I had. After that coma I had to learn to stand and walk again. Perhaps Tim thought that was it. Johns fried. I don’t know... But I went down to see Hoss and leant against the back wall because I really was fragile and Tim was there. It was like the seas were parting and he came running up and jumped on me, hugged me and was like “I’m sorry”. Finally, we went outside because I wanted to talk to him. You know... I had him. I hadn’t seen him in six months and everyone was saying the Powder Monkeys were over and all that shit. When I got him out there I was like “What’s going on? Just tell me!”. But he said “No, no, no! We’re still together! It’s not finished!” But he looked fucking terrible. He had that really tight skin. I can’t say he was bloated but he just had this tightness of the skin. I said to him when we left to come over but he said no.

So I said to him “Well, if you don’t come over by Monday night I’m going to be over at your folks house Tuesday morning!”. Monday night I got the phone call. Tim was dead. He was dead. He was 31. You didn’t expect it? It was fucked up. I always believed that he would live to be an old man, writing novels and stuff like that. He was just this indestructible character. They had an open casket at the funeral and seeing him in there... that’s when it hit me. He actually is dead. It was really horrible. That was the end of the band. It was the end of Tim. The end of so much really. How did you deal with his death? His father said something nice to me. Looking through Tim’s diary one of his last entries was about seeing me and how happy he was to see me. That was nice if its true. He might have said that just to make me feel better... I don’t know. But that killed me man. I didn’t know it but I was probably depressed for years after that. My Marshall was stuck Sweden, I didn’t have a band anymore, I was only 40% of the man that I had been., I’m totally reliant on medication, I’m not allowed to get a job, I fall over all the time. But slowly every year I get a little bit better. But it’s still hard because I miss him.

I used to get dickheads come up all the time and say “Oh... Why don’t you get the Powder Monkeys back together?” I was just “What the fuck are you retarded?” No Tim Hemensley equals no Powder Monkeys. Tim was the Powder Monkeys. But you guys are kind of back? We were only going to do the Tote show, the I Thank You gig, because that day was the 10th anniversary of Tim’s passing. Every year Tim’s parents, Kris & Retta, me and a few really close friends have got together and had a drink at the Tote. Just in memory of him. This year I was kind of amazed that Tim’s folks would let there be a celebration. I used to just laugh it off when people were saying “Get the Powder Monkeys back together” How the fuck can we do that? But we decided we would just get friends and special guests. People that knew Tim and loved him to sing the songs. It was a huge night... man, it was a day! I played 3 gigs that day. I played the footy, the Tim Hemensley Cup, that side of the rivers Community Cup. Then I played with my new band the Powerline Sneakers and I played the Powder Monkeys show. And now you’re doing Cherryfest?

After the Tote show TJ and I weren’t happy with the show. We just thought that it wasn’t good enough for Tim. You know Tim’s lyrics are just so important and some of them weren’t right at that show. After the show… the next day when Hound Dog rang I said to him “You’re asking the wrong person. If you ask Kris & Retta and they say yes, well, then you have to ask TJ and if he says yes! Come back and talk to me.” That was me saying yes but if I had of been happy with the Tote show I would have said no. Hopefully we’ll get it right and that will be it. Cherryfest will be the last hurrah? Yeah, we were finished over 10 years ago. This isn’t the Powder Monkeys. It is but it isn’t because it never can be without Tim. I think they're going to be a lot of people there that have never seen the Powder Monkeys. But that’s the great thing with all the records coming out remastered and all that. People will be able to hear Tim’s music again. But that’s it. This is the last time me and TJ will play the Powder Monkeys together. So, we’re all just going to be happy with the records? Yeah.

have this little offshoot label called Onion Records. Rick Rubin had handpicked 10 bands to be on this off shoot label and we were one of them. A 3 album deal. We knew Dave Laing had put up his own money for the Powder Monkeys, Hoss, all the Dogmeat stuff and had never made a fucking dime out of nothing. So when this thing fell in our lap we said "Dave, YOU are coming for the ride man. If we're going to make some coin out of this you're going to make some coin alright!" So Dave goes to this lawyer Dave Voidicka. Now, Dave Vodicka is a music lawyer. I think he has his own music label as well, I remember these contracts. There were 3 of them for me, Tim and TJ. They were America back to Australia, America back to Australia. Amendment. Amendment. Amendment. Amendment. Well, one day Dave Laing tells us to go down to Vodicka's office in Albert Park. So we all go down and there they are!. Three contracts and they're signed. Onion Records means American Records. American Records means Warner Brothers But it’s been remastered and re-issued? distribution. I’ve never met Mikey Young but god bless him for It's pretty fucking huge. fixing up Smashed On A Knee so we could get it I remember them being signed. out again. Then there was this point man called Johan The next one’s going to be good because Time Kugelberg. Wounds All Heels has never been released on Basically we had to wait to hear back from vinyl and it will be this time so that’s great. Johan. So we wait and we wait. Dave Laing tries to get into contact with him. He Time Wounds All Heels is an album that still gets played wouldn't return phone calls, he won't answer 3 or 4 times a week in my house. emails and time goes on. It’s just bizarre that album. Finally, when Dave gets hold of him he says the We finally got into a real flash studio with a good producer and we pretty much recorded a live whole Onion thing isn't going ahead. That was a period when all those bands like album. There’s maybe 3 songs that I know are first takes Spiderbait and all those Australian bands were on it. There’s probably 2 or 3 songs where there’s getting signed and what did we get? A one way ticket to Palookaville! no guitar over dub. It’s all just one guitar. "You don't understand. I coulda had class. I The incredible skill of Chris Thompson and his coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, miking up makes it just sound massive. That’s the one everyone likes because it sounded instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it. It was you, Charley." more like the Powder Monkeys playing live I But yeah... who knows what could of happened? think. What we did do was bankrupt Dogmeat Records! We were at our most popular and we didn't even Time Wounds was when all the Rick Rubin shit went have a record label to put out our records. down wasn’t it? What happened there? You must be pretty happy that they’re being re-mastered and reissued because you guys were pretty unhappy with a lot of your recorded output especially Smashed On A Knee? Dave Laing just got us in the studio way too early with Smashed On A Knee. It was sort of just “Fuck!”. We’d only done a few gigs. After we recorded it Aiden was out of the band so I went back to Dave and said “Dude, you’re going to have to get us back into record it because listen to us now!” He said this one thing to me though. He said “Just listen to Tim’s vocals” I listened to Tim’s vocals and those tight harmonies he does and I just went “Fuck, this is the greatest thing Tim’s done on record” I thought “God, I’m just going to have to wipe Aiden” But thank god Mariconda came out at the time and cleaned up my thousand guitar mix. I don’t know what happened to it after that though... I don’t remember listening to a test pressing of it. I think when it got mastered it got mastered sort of weak.

Before Time Wounds was recorded Dave Laing Was working at Shock and one day through the fax machine comes a hand written letter from Rick Rubin saying American Recordings was going to

If you had of got in position with a major label or anything like that I don’t imagine that you guys would have been a band that would have toned it down to get a bit of success.

What? Oh fuck no! Toning down...we never thought of that. Man, you're in a band with Tim Hemensley! Toning down! There was no such thing! I say “I was in band with Tim Hemensley” but I felt exactly the same way. Fuck no! We are what we are and we were proud of it. We knew exactly what we were doing and no one else was doing it! Very few people even got it. We just wanted to be a band that could kick fucking arse in a pub and sound good on record. We fucked up the record thing but oh well, whatever! Toning down was not even a thought that entered our head.

We would have just reacted violently against it. Especially Tim. That was the thing with Tim though. Something would come along that was good for the band and Tim would know that it was good thing for the band but he would just be “No, no I’m not going to do it” He would know that it was a good but he just wouldn’t do it. But then again what is success? I think we were pretty successful considering what we were doing and what we wanted to achieve.

What about the last album Lost City Blues? We were really lucky and unlucky with the last one and I can't wait for that to get remastered. When it was recorded I remember listening back to Do you think if a few things had of went your ways the Powder Monkeys could have been successful? it with Tim and going "Where did the bass go?" We had no chance of ever being successful. It was The first day we went into the studio we had to just the nature of the band. do a recording for a Radio Birdman cover's We were too opinionated and single minded of compilation and we did Smith & Wesson Blues. what we wanted. That first day in the studio was spent doing Let's say that we got a producer and they would that. suggest something to us that Tim or I thought That's got bass on it but I remember at the end was kind of "Hang on... this guys trying to make listening to the album and saying to Tim "Why us a little bit radio friendly here" the fuck didn't you say anything?"

But in the studio listening to it through the fancy $20 000 speakers sometimes you get fooled. I just don't know where the bass went in it. So when I talk to Mikey Young when we redo it all I'm going to say to him is "Find the bass and pump it up!" Why didn’t it ever get an Australian release? Well it did. It was locally available. It was recorded when we were in Europe and released over there on White Jazz. The Hellacopters label. I'll tell you why no-one could find it in Australia. It was because it was released on some fucking European dance label here. A fucking doof-doof label! You could of bought the fucking vinyl of it with a poster and everything. It seems like everyone I talk to goes "Oh it never was available in Australia!"

But it was. It was just on a doof-doof label. And what about your future? Well, after the Powder Monkeys are put to bed I don’t know... I’ve got my new band the Powerline Sneakers. Our singer Sly (from the Splatterheads) has been in hospital. So he has to get better first. That’s the priority. But as far as the Powder Monkeys are concerned I just want to get all the albums out. I want to leave a legacy for me, Tim & TJ. One that we deserve. The remastered debut Powder Monkeys record Smashed on a Knee is available now at all good record shops & iTunes. It’s killer. “Get it. Even if you’ve already got it. Get It again” Time Wounds All Heels & Lost City Blues are also due to be remastered and reissued... We will let you know when those classics are available. The Powder Monkeys will be playing one more time at CherryFest with Mike Findlay (Dukes of Deliciouness) on bass and Joel Silbersher & our main man Pudgey O’Keefe on vocals...




Article: Strawb G Hetti Image: Strawb G Hetti

Toshi Maeda is a sake master.

a special enzyme called koji mould.

Not only that but he’s the drummer for punk

This mould breaks the starch into sugar and

legends Mach Pelican and runs one of

then you add water and more rice.

Melbourne’s most popular restaurants Maedaya which is packed out on a nightly basis. He believes in being passionate about whatever it is you do. Which is good because we’re pretty passionate about what he does as well. Good food, good music and good drink. And we mean good.

Then you add the yeast. The yeast starts eating the sugar turning it into alcohol. You make a mash like whiskey? Yeah, much like whiskey It’s the quality of the water and the rice polish that makes the special grades isn’t it? Yes. Sake’s very much about three things. Rice, water and technique. The skill of the

All of it’s just delicious.

master brewer. Those three things are most

We caught up with Toshi and found out just


what he does for a living!

Rice, the same with grapes, have a lot

What the fuck is a Sake Master?

different varieties and qualities.

The Sake Master is the Master of the Sake!

It depends on the region where it’s being

It’s someone who’s drank a lot of it, knows

grown. It has different characters.

about how it’s made, the differences in the

You can have soft water, hard water, super

It’s someone who loves sake the most and likes

Hard water gives you a faster process of

profiles, where it comes from, the history, what hard water. It depends on how many minerals it contains. food goes with it. All sorts of stuff. to teach people how to enjoy it!

fermentation because it contains more

Well, how the fuck did you go from a drummer in a rock & roll band to a Sake Master?

its faster.

Well, it happened when I was still in the band. I’d been drinking... I had a drinking habit.

minerals. It’s eating more minerals. That’s why It ends up with less sugar after fermentation so you get a dry sake because there’s less sugar. It has a stronger body.

It’s just the nature of myself.

If you’re using soft water it has less minerals

It’s not like it happened at one time. It was

so the eating of the sugar is quite slow and

something that had been building up. I was a very big beer drinker but when I

mild so it gives you more sugar at the end of fermentation. So it’s sweeter.

started drinking Australian wine that’s when I Rice has more of a fruity style character, not thought “Oh, what about sake” because wine and aroma, but a flavour “flavour”. sake are very similar because you enjoy them both during a meal and with food.

It’s all a combination.

The brew masters have their own skills in the But Japanese sake is very much my background. fermentation period that are different. Where I grew up and all that. The time of the rice steaming or the rice A lot of people call sake ‘rice wine’. Is that right? polishing. It’s all different. It’s sort of a cross between beer and wine.

All those different combinations give a lot of

It’s sort of brewed and then fermented. A


combination of them.

Is that why there’s so many different types?

Rice has only starch. It has no sugar.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The starch needs to be converted into sugar by There’s over 1000 brewers in Japan that still

exist. Big ones and small ones.

It’s stronger. More bang for the buck.

And there’s about 3000 different labels.

Is there a special way to drink sake? Do you sip or just shot the bastard?

It’s a lot to drink you know. Are there any sakes that I should drink now? You know good ones? How do I tell which ones are good? There’s a grade depending on how much the rice

Well, you can sip sake just like you’re drinking wine but when we do the cheers... The Japanese word is kampai.

has been polished. The more the rice is

Kampai... The true meaning of kampai is ‘dry

polished the more refined flavour, the better

your cup’. Dry your cup means that you’re going

quality, the more aromatic and flavourful it

to drink in one.


You don’t have to skol when you do kampai but

You have ginjo.

kampai means dry your cup!

Ginjo is almost premium.

Your not meant to pour your own sake either?

There’s junmai-ginjo which is the start of the

That’s bad manners.

premium grade.

In Japanese culture someone else pours your

Then there's daiginjo which is super + +



It’s called shaku.

You can actually see those names no matter

Good manners is pouring someone else's. You

where the sake is from. If it says daiginjo it must be one of the top sakes from that region. If you have enough money to try it. It’s not cheap but it’s an experience. If you have a budget and you just want to enjoy it with a meal you still have the rest. They’re still quality but they’re not too expensive.

pour for others. You make sure everyone has some and then you pretend to pour one for you and they “No, no, no I pour for you” That’s just Japanese manners. What’s the difference between warm and cold sake? Well, warm sake starts in winter time where there’s snow. It’s very cold and there’s not

Sake’s important to have with meals?

much to warm you up. You have to warm

Yeah, just like red wine or white wine.

yourself up from the inside so you drink the

Most people start with salad or seafood so

sake warm.

they can have a junmai-ginjo or ginjo.

It depends on the season.

It’s lighter, fruity, crisper, easy to sip sake.

In the summer time I will often tell the

Then when you get into the meal with something more meaty you could have maybe a

customer to try cold sake because it’s more natural. You need to be refreshed.

honjozu which has less aroma and won’t kill

A nice, clean sake to refresh.

the flavour of the food.

In winter it’s cold. You need something heated

It brings up the flavour of the meal. It’s a



It’s another similar thing that you can

Then at the end if you have something nice at

compare to wine.

the end of the meal for dessert you would have A cold sake is more like white wine. A sauv a special sake. Daiginjo. Big flavour! blanc, a Riesling or a chardonnay. Is there a Jack Daniels of sake? Something the rock and roll bands can drink?

You don’t want it at room temperature. You want

Probably shoju... shoju is cheap and nasty.

seafood with it.

it chilled and eat something light like

Warm sake has more body and more smell

It’s a mojito but instead of vodka or gin we’re

because of the evaporation and other things.

using sweet potato shoju as the main

If you like red wine or your eating more meaty,


heavier dishes it has a lot more body in the

Then we add the lime, fresh lemon, sugar syrup


and then we top it with draught beer instead

If you like drinking white wine try sake cold. If you like drinking red try sake warm. It’s good drinking either. Is there anything else we should know about sake? There’s a lot of things about sake. But I think that the important thing about sake is you need to enjoy sake with food.

of lemonade or ginger beer. It’s our sake Mojito. I just give everything a twist. And Mach Pelican will be supporting Guitar Wolf in December? I believe so. Just the one show at the Tote.

You have it together like wine.

And a few questions to finish off... When will the cheese gyoza be back?

If you drink sake by itself you get sick.

Oh... It’s not back yet!

I don’t want to drink sake only.

Do you like the cheese gyoza?

You need something with sake.

We LOVE the cheese gyoza!

You don’t sit at the pub and just drink sake?

Maybe we can do something with cheese on top...

No, you need something to enjoy with it. It’s

Like an enchilada?

better with food. Sake has lots of variety. In Japanese sake means any alcoholic beverage. Beer, whiskey, wine, cocktail. It’s all sake! There’s different notes of flavours in sake as well. There’s nashi pear, green apple, banana, pine apple, white peach, strawberry, mushroom Mushroom? Yeah it’s more of a savoury flavour.

Yeah, and we can put some sauce between the cheese and gyoza! And the cheese wrapped in bacon? Ha! These are the important things we need to know! Yeah, I know. That was a really popular item so I would say it will be back. And if people want to know more about sake? Get on to there’s lots of

There’s cacao, white chocolate, pineapple, cream stuff on there about sake and some that you chestnut. can purchase or you can come to Maedaya and Lot’s.

we can sit, eat and drink. That way if there’s

You guys make some pretty mean sake cocktail here at Maedaya as well. What should I get?


any question you can ask me. Share some fun.

I’m not really a cocktail person.


I drink sake. I’m a sake master.

For more info on sake go to or go down to for some really, really, really good food and sake at Maedaya 400 Bridge Rd, Richmond VIC Ph 03 94283918

So I created some sake cocktails for some fun. For the ladies. Yeah, for the ladies. The Sake Mojito.

(I’ve had all the cocktails and believe me they’re good. Trust me. The food is just awesome as well. Actually beyond good. Do yourself a favour. This isn’t a paid advertisement either. We just like it)

People with mohawks are surprisingly good at $107.10 for the real one all about it so they thumbing their noses at authority. can go down, have a good time and listen to some music! They thrive on it. A lot of the times they do shit just to piss people off. So we decided fuck it! Why don't we just do what they're doing and make some shit up? I reckon it’s grand. It suits my juvenile sense of humour. So here's a completely bogus, fake, made up interview with Mr Punk As Fuck! Awesome... So, it should come as no surprise that when a bunch of safety pinned music lovers thought R&R: It’s a pretty impressive line up you guys have the current Van's Warped Tour that's about to put together. Was it whoever wanted to play can come rocket around the country lacked a bit of along and play? Australian flair they’d say "Hey, fuck you Mr Punk: Yeah, it’s a big line up. We thought fuckers! We'll put on our own!" that we would have all those bands that Nevermind the Warp'd Tour is a free, all day should be on the real Warped Tour there! Good celebration of all things punk to be held at Australian bands! Melbourne's Brunswick Hotel on December 7th (the same day as the Melbourne stop of the Do you think a lot of the bigger festivals have something against putting on local bands who don’t Warped Tour) have as much success commercially? It's got all the things that the real Warped Tour has as well. There'll be bands (a shitload Man, every time I see a festival line up it just of them), booze (no need for a wristband), a BBQ makes me Maddah and Maddah! A festival isn’t (it will probably have a vegan option because about how many records someone sells or how they're a bit that way inclined) and they're many t-shits kids will buy. It’s about diversity even going to have a skate ramp (ouch)! and appreciating music. When we heard about we thought "Boy, we need to get in touch with these fellows and ask about getting an article done or something!" For us, it ticks all the boxes. It's free. It's local. It's a bit of a fuck you!

So does that mean if we come to Nevermind the Warp’d Tour we will see some of the folk music all the kids love nowadays? That’s not fucking music! Uh... It is apparently... They’ve got guitars and they sing and everything! But you never know you might be right...

There's not much not to like about it.

Well, if it is music. It’s shit music!

So we sent them an email... and we got no response!

Very broad minded of you... So, who will we be able to watch at Nevermind the Warp’d Tour?

What were we to do?

The Outfit are getting back together for the We really like the idea behind the gig! We want first time in about 20 years. So they’ll be to tell the people who can't quite afford




worth checking out if you like a bit of good, old school Melbourne punk.

invited all the cool kids that fucking hate his guts to his party instead of his real friends!

Who else?

But ours is the better gig?

Beerfridge, Myrtle Place, Fatty Esther, Silver Lizard, Nighthawker, Amphetish, The Worst, The Resignators, Strawberry Fist Cake, The Ramshackle Army, I Am Duckeye, Spew'N'Guts, Admiral Ackbars Dishonourable Discharge, Dixon Cider, Liquor Snatch, The Murderballs, Kodiak Throat, Bombs Are Falling, The Cruntburgers, Hopes Abandoned, The Savages, Stoned To Death, One Girl Army, 12FU, All We Need, MBome Dirt Unit and Lord & Justin & His One Man Band.

Oh for sure... If it came down to a pissing contest you guys would have the better gig because we want to see Camel do a Tony Hawke impression on the ramps! Plus they have the Offspring and you guys have a band called Dixon Cider... Absolutely no competition!

Fuck... That’s massive!

That’s ok then. We’re happy that we didn’t hurt your feelings. Is there anything else you want to say? Does everyone know where it is? Yes. It’s at the Brunswick Hotel in Melbourne.

And when it’s happening? Yeah, it’ll be a good day. We encourage everyone to come down. It’s free & there’s plenty of good December 7th. tunes & all that shit. Plus you don’t have to waste a fuck load of money to watch some How much it costs? pussy bands at the real Van’s Tour. Nothing. Because it’s free! Can we wear Vans? So we covered everything? Nah, fuck Vans. We did. You do realise that the same company that But there’s still a 1/4 of a page left! distributes Vans in Australia is the same company that does Doc Martens? Shit there is too! We’ll put a free ad for the real Vans Warped Tour there! Umm, well... That’s ok. We understand you don’t get the hypocrisy of it. Well, it’s not really Vans that we have a problem with. It’s the promoters. Yeah, but it’s the Vans Warped Tour not the Promoters Warped Tour! Yeah, I suppose but... So, we can wear Vans?


(yeah we pussied out because the only thing of any value that the publisher owns are his guitars and they will pry That’s a fucking good answer. Are you sure you these those motherfuckers from his cold dead answers haven't been rehearsed? hands... still I wonder if we will hear Why do I get the feeling that you’re making from either promoters lawyers... We hope so! fun of us? We like using satire as an excuse... Nah, they can’t afford lawyers anymore Probably because we’re just making all this shit up than we can) and we are making fun of you! People can wear whatever they want. We just want people to have a good time.

Well, that’s not cool! We don’t really care! We think you’re all dicks in your own special way... You guys are acting like little kids who haven’t been invited to a birthday party and the promoters the jerk off kid that nobody likes who


From: Rock & Roll Magazine To: Some Greedy Assholes! Subject: Oh you know... stuff!

To the Very Small Minority of Promoters, We know that we’re not going to win any friends amongst you motherfuckers when you read this but, hell, someone’s got to tell you the truth. We know most publications won’t call the bullshit they see because they’re afraid that they will lose the precious advertising dollars that you guys give them. They just leave it for the people leaving comments to bitch about you. What the fuck do we care what we say about you? It’s not like you fuckers are going to give us any money so fuck it! We know that most of the promoters in Australia are good, hard working people who do nothing but bust their asses day in, day out to bring us bands we can all watch and enjoy. We commend them. They do a fucking ace job. However, it seems that there’s a few of you out there that are nothing but complete dicks. We stress that it’s a very small minority. Still a dicks a dick. Who the fuck do you dicks think you’re kidding? “Oh, we’re not in it for the money! We’re just fans!” Bullshit. Of course you’re in it for the money. Fuck, we know we’re doing this for the money. And yes we do see the irony of shooting ourselves in the foot with “potential advertisers”... but the difference between “potential” and actual is something we’re acutely aware of. The fact is that you’re greedy motherfuckers. Every single one of you smelt some money and thought “I’ve got to get me some of that”. We don’t blame you... we’d do the same thing! We are in fact! But we wanted to make an improvement on something. Not gouge the people who just love music! See the difference? Starting a festival and then having it fold or lose money isn’t anybody’s fault but your own. It means that you’re bad at business. Simple really. Don’t blame anyone... Not even other promoters! The biggest letdown is the fact that some of you think that it’s ok to bring out bands and then hamstring them by not letting them play sideshows... What the fuck! That just proves a– you’re not a fan and b– you’re really shitty at your chosen profession. If a band comes out that I want to see and I have to go to your festival to watch them! Guess what! I’m not going. That means you’re not getting any of my money. Don’t you like my money? I like it. That’s why I won’t give it to someone for something that’s shit and takes advantage of people and the community that pays them. You must admit that your real kick is about gouging as much money as you can.

We all know it and deep down you kind of realise that it is the only state of your existence. It’s money. You’re greedy. The answers right there in front of us. $300 on a day out to go watch maybe one band that we really want to see... Yeah, you know... We’re not telling you this because we think that you should all just fuck off and die a slow painful death. We’re telling you this because we think that you’re all essential to keeping live music kicking in this country. We need people like you to put your arse on the line. We know that you do that! That’s why we’re being kind and not doing the literary equivalent of stabbing you in the face with a fork. But the fact remains some of you won’t even book local bands! Unless of course they’re an ”international” local band. How the fuck are they meant to be that if the promoters of festivals in their own backyard won’t even support them? FUCK YOU! That just proves how out of touch with reality some of you are. The way that the Australian music scene has prospered over the years is by being a real community that supports it’s emerging talent. Don’t bitch because you think you haven’t got anything from the local scene because you have... You’ve got that big job promoting a festival! Seriously how dumb are you? I bet you guys like wearing thongs or slip-ons so you don’t have to deal with the fucking laces! So this is a plea. An on the knees begging! Start listening to the fans and not your own egos. We don’t need anymore fucking lip service. We’re sick of it. And don’t think that people don’t see through your cheap publicity stunts either. We do... that’s why we can point them out. If you start giving people what they really want (and they know what they want) they’re going to come back. That means you will start making a bit of money again and every one can have a good time rocking out to some good tunes. If you don’t some really smart fuckers going to come along and do it. Then you really are going to be broke and out of a job. If that happens well... serves yourselves fucking right! It’s well worth remembering that you reap what you sow. People can live without attending festivals. You can’t live if people don’t.. do you need help with the math? Anyhoo, good luck! We hope that you all take the current climate of fear that you’re all living in as a bit of wake up call and start treating those fans and bands that let you work in this industry with a bit of respect. Rock & fucking Roll The kindly folk at Rock & Roll Magazine P.S We’re not on Twitter but if you would like to say something back to us you can email and tweet it later on... we like a good stoush... Of course you’d have to be pretty stupid to bite back because that would just be giving us free publicity. You don’t feed the hand that could potentially bite your face off and shove it up your puckered asshole. Have a good day...


Article: Shane Hilton

Image: S Lowe

So for those folks out there who don't know who the Jacks are! Who are they? The Jacks are a three piece rock’n’roll band from Melbourne, VIC. I handle guitar & vocal duties, the mighty Simon ‘Simmo’ Caldwell smashes out the beats from behind the kit and ‘Diamond’ Dave Davidson is in charge of the lower frequencies on bass.

What kind of sticker? A 50’s Pin up chick decal ... I like to put stickers on everything… I don’t know why.

Is there anything else in the arsenal that you pull out on occasion? I always take a spare guitar with me to shows, in case of string breakage. I have a Squire Jagmaster which is actually pretty rad to play. I And what kind of music do you play? was using a Telecaster for a while but I had to We are 100% committed to delivering quality Rock & sell that due to financial sagas. Roll… the loud and heavy kind. So what kind of backline do you play with? What made you want to pick up a guitar? Currently, I am plugging the Sierra into a At first it was Jimmy Page and Jimi Hendrix that Randall head and the noise comes out of a made me wanna pick up a guitar but it was the Sex Marshall quad box, I get a pretty good tone out of Pistols and Nirvana who made me wanna play in a this combination… and it’s mega loud. This band. amplification set up is known in the Jacks camp as ‘Randy Marsh’ What was your first guitar? My first guitar was a black Samick acoustic and I Solid State, Tube, Hybrid or Don't Give A Fuck? I've only just started playing a hybrid and they're pretty fucking got it when I was about 11 years old. ace. I remember it was a total bitch to play because Solid state, I find they are more reliable then the action on it was so bad that it would tubes, and I like the word ‘Solid’. sometimes literally make my fingers bleed. But I spent a couple of years learning the basics What about pedals? on that until I figured I would need an electric I like to keep it simple and I’ve actually only guitar if I wanted to make some real noise… ever used two pedals, a Boss Distortion and a After much nagging my folks got me a red Hondo Boss tuner , although I’ve been thinking lately I Stratocaster copy and one of those little 15 watt should throw some sort of boost or equaliser practice amps. It wasn’t a great set-up but I was pedal in the mix ... I should probably go pedal super stoked to have an electric guitar and it shopping now you mention it. was much easier on the fingers. I loved it. So I pretty much locked myself in my room for a I take it that it's a DS1? Do you use it live or do you just few years and played it constantly… really like to turn it up and go? pissed of the neighbours. Yep it’s a DS1… the Orange coloured one. Do you actually know of anyone that who's first electric guitar wasn't the cheapest Strat knock off money can buy? They're the best thing since sliced bread when you first get one until you play a real guitar and it's like "Fuck, is mine meant to sound like this?" Gotta start somewhere! What are you playing nowadays? I have been playing my old semi-hollow guitar, it’s a ‘Sierra’ brand Gibson 335 knock-off, I’ve had it since I was about fifteen. It was originally a beat up old junk shop guitar that somebody had re-wired and fixed up with new pickups and generally bought it back from the dead. They sure did a good job because it’s awesome to play and sounds great.

And the tuner... Standard EADGBE or do you fuck around a bit? The Jacks are tuned down a whole step to D. It makes for a pretty heavy bottom end. What about recording? Do you just go in with the tried and tested Randy Marsh rig or do you play around? Randy Marsh will be joining us in the studio for sure. Christmas is pretty close. If you were able to go sit on Santa's knee and ask for a guitar in your stocking. What would you want him to give you? I’ve always wanted to get my hands on a Gretsch… Santa’s gonna need some serious coin.

It's nice when you get a guitar that you can stick with for a Any plans for more releases in the near future? long time. What's the Sierra got that keeps you playing it? Yes indeed, we have plans to head into the studio It’s like an old friend… We’re good mates. very soon. Is it factory settings or have you personalised it a bit? Well, I’m not really one to get involved in the inner workings and machinery of guitars… I prefer to just play them. The entire headstock was completely broken off at a show a couple of years back so that had to be fixed up by a pro, I have put a sticker on it… so I guess in a way you could say it has been modified.

Where will the smart people who love Rock & Roll be able to watch the Jacks play some tunes? Live Jacks attacks are always up to date on our website The people can find out there! Or you can tell’em!


Ok, so this is the reviews section. The place we’re we review things that we like and sometimes, maybe, dislike. We like a whole heap of shit so you never know just what you might come across here. The important thing to remember is that this is just one view point and opinion of each album and that’s a dangerous situation. Why? Well, we’ll be honest. We’re not always right. Every human is flawed and what one person might dislike another person might just fucking love, This is just a guide. A simple review. It’s not a definite be all & end all of judgement.

Only you can decide if you like something or not. If you like it buy the album! Seriously, buy it! Don’t be a cheap cunt. We would also like to apologise for the lack of reviews in this issue. We wanted to have 30+ albums reviewed but due to the nature of this business getting the hundreds of records companies to get on board straight away was a real pain in the arse! If you’re in a band and you want to find out how to get reviewed email If you just hear a band we should review let us know! We don’t mind. We’re always willing to listen to music. It’s what we do.

So remember, handle with care, judge We encourage you to go out and check for yourself and buy the fucking out all the music even if we don’t music. give it a “positive” review.

Clowns I’m Not Right (2013)

Review: Shane Hilton

If I’m Not Right isn’t the most right thing we’ve that is the “must listen to at least once a listened to in a long time than we’ll suck day” pile. whatever reproductive organ you’ve got. Clowns are there right now and I doubt that I’m Not Right is a balls to the wall, beers in they’re going anywhere for a long time. the air, head snapping, full on assault of It’s worth remembering that all this is just noise that will leave you wanting more. off 27 minutes and 34 seconds of sound. It’s hard to believe that this is the Melbourne Every member of Clowns have the uncanny quartets debut long player. Whatever it is knack of playing their instruments to that bands are meant to have... it’s something compliment what everyone else is doing. Clowns have in spades. They teem with an energy that may have It’s an album that will make those guys with something to do with their youth but probably hot air balloon tattoos reflect on why they just comes from knowing that they’re throwing don’t have more “punk” on their iPod (it’s out some pretty rocking tunes. because they’re wankers who listen to “rock” speckled with bad electronica, shitty paint by We guarantee that you’re going to love this album. It’s impossible not too. numbers folk music and that really beige voice in their head telling them they’re The best thing might be that I’m Not Right “alternative” and not the same as every other doesn’t overreach. You know that watching them dick-wad with a hot air balloon tattoo). live you’re going to get pretty much what you get from the record. The album kicks off with “Rowdy” Roddy Piper telling us “I came here to chew bubble-gum and The whole thing is sharp. kick ass... And I’m all out of bubble-gum” before Clowns unleash a sonic wave of punk rock that The lyrics. The music. The attitude. does nothing but kick ass. It’s all there. And we mean kick ass.

I’m Not Right will kick your ass so hard your nose will bleed. Vicious it is. But don’t be fooled into thinking that this album only plays the one dimensional aural beat-down and nothing else. Clowns are a layered beast. I find myself always smitten kitty-love style with albums where it takes me 3 or 4 listens just to work out what the hell the vocalists is banging on about. Which isn’t to say that I can’t understand. It’s just that the music takes me to a completely different place. It’s like a sign from above that whatever I’m listening to is going to fall into that hallowed territory of my record collection

This is a band that’s going places. Why not get on early and go for the ride with them? Even if they end up heading straight for the gutter and anonymity at least you know that it’s going to be with a whole heap of good songs and a big middle finger. The way it’s meant to be done. The way this albums done. If there's one album that we review in this issue that you should go out and buy this is the album. If that’s not a good enough recommendation you should go and fuck yourself and turn in your membership to rock & roll. Peace bitches.

Bodyjar Role Models (2013)

Review: Bruce “Lefty” Knox

It’s good to know that the boys from Bodyjar aren’t suffering from a mid life crisis.


Punchy. It’s been 8 years since we have heard a release Punky. of new material from Bodyjar and they haven’t Bodyjary. disappointed. Sure they broke up and then got together for a They didn’t go into the studio to rewrite the rule book on making a Bodyjar album. few shows supporting the likes of the Descendants and playing the last hurrah at Of course there’s a few things that seem a tad the Arthouse but I don’t think anyone was bit disappointing. really thinking that they would get back in The lead single Fairytales has and awesome the studio for a new album. little guitar lead that just seems to get lost That’s a lot of time, money and hassle. in the mix. It doesn’t stand up and smack you in the face like you feel it should. Who the fuck would want to do that? Role Models is exactly what you would expect from the now veteran Australian four piece. Role Models just bounces along.

It’s a pretty petty observation but considering the helter skelter pace of the song it doesn’t quite fit.

Another little problem is the lack of bass in some of the songs. We don’t know if it was just because we were listening to the album Released through independent label UNFD, Role through head phones a lot (they’re studio head Models will no doubt act as the perfect phones so I doubt it) or that it’s just another swansong or prove to be a remarkable comeback little thing that sometimes happen in for Bodyjar. production. What else would you want a Bodyjar album to do?

If anything Role Models only confirms that Cam knows how to right a fucking hooky song.

After all, there is a fair bit happening in the songs.

Seriously hooky.

When these are the only things you have to bitch about it’s a pretty good sign.

The only album that we think even comes close to being as well written, amongst Bodyjar’ s former contemporaries anyway, is the virtually unrecognised (and we think unreleased) Poncho Estrada album.

We actively tried to cunt on about it and we couldn’t find much. Probably the best thing is the fact that you know Bodyjar are back with a new album for all the right reasons.

That might sound like a backhanded compliment but it’s not.

That’s probably why the album is a bit kick ass.

It’s a fucking HUGE compliment.

But yeah if you want to relive a bit of your youth or you’ve never heard Bodyjar in your life (there are kids out there who have never heard them... I know I’m amazed too!) then Role Models isn’t going to disappoint.

To who? Well, both bands we suppose. As would be expected the song writing is honest, straight forward and strangely endearing. Musically, it’s exactly what it’s supposed to be.

And Poncho Estrada... Ah, you’ll never find that album...

Trivium Vengeance Falls (2013)

Review: Strawb G Hetti

Look at that artwork!

Of course they have solos...

Man, why is it metal bands that have all the

Would it be a METAL album without solos?

good artwork? Fuck... We want this motherfucker on vinyl just so we can look at the pretty picture!

Of course not. When these guys do get all complex they do it just as well as any other band out there that

In this day and age when a lot of people are

can do those things with guitars that make

doing the download thing I suppose it’s

people scratch their heads and say “So, that’s

important to reflect on why the visual


component of music is incredibly important. And we’re not talking about being attractive either. We’re talking about the album artwork.

Of course one of my favourite things about metal albums are always the lyrics. You just know that there’s some kid out their

Sometimes if I’m kind of just in a record shop

sharpening his skull topped dagger (with the

kicking about not doing much it will be the

cool snakes wrapped around the handle) and

artwork that makes me buy an album...

Google mapping where I live as I take the piss

Now, this isn’t a 100 per cent guaranteed way to get a good album but that was the way I

out of them. I don’t know if the band always takes their

discovered Electric Wizard and a heap of other lyrics seriously but I know their fans do. bands that just had good artwork. Vengeance Falls has good artwork.

Boy, do they ever. Look I like the lyrics but sometimes I just feel

If I saw this in a record shop I’d probably

like giving them a hug and asking “Why so

pick it up and take it home.


The album isn’t half bad either.

But in all the album is not so bad.

It’s fucking METAL!

It’s not as good as their 2005 album Ascendency

It will put your head on your chest or some shit like that. The thing that surprised us a lot is the simplicity of the album. We were truly expecting something that would tie our heads in knots but Vengeance Falls is a pretty straight down the line recording. They get in a groove and kind of stick with it pretty consistently.

but it’s not the worst album they’ve ever released. It’s enjoyable. Trivium will also be out for Soundwave 2014 so if you’re going to that it might be picking up this album and having a bit of a listen. Anyways, got to run some strange kid dressed in black with a bad acne riddled moustache is staring at me strangely and kind of frothing at the mouth...

Spiderbait Spiderbait (2013)

Review: Shane Hilton

Spiderbait may perhaps be one of the most perplexing bands that have ever existed.

The fucker won’t even need a remix.

Don’t be surprised if you drunkenly find yourself in one of those “dance” clubs when you’re hammered drunk (it’s ok we all do it sometimes) and hear that motherfucker come floating across the dance floor.

Remember, if it doesn’t get you straight away just give it a spin a few more times.

The album is captured by Franc Tetaz (he of Case in point: This album. the Gotye, I won a fucking Grammy for my producing fame!) which must have been a This is an album that we had to sit and listen fucking difficult task considering to over and over again before we got what the Spiderbaits love of genre bending and general hell was happening. weirdness. It’s a mixed bag. But it’s easy to figure out why he won a Imagine if you took the best parts of every Grammy. previous Spiderbait album and made a brand The one thing that you notice pretty early on new fucking album out of it. is that if anything this record only confirms That’s what they’ve done here. that these guys know how to write some fucking catchy ass tunes. You just don’t know what you’re going to get. Now, here’s the other perplexing thing about Some of them are sweet and some of them are as Spiderbait: Whit... sour as those mouth sucking cola bottles that we can’t stop eating. That guy forever seems to be just in the background but fuck... if Spiderbait has flash Man we love the sour ones. Lolly or song. it’s Whit that’s giving it! Opener Straight Through The Sun is one of That dude can play some serious gee-tar! those sour motherfuckers. It’s intense. It’s a pleasure to listen to him. Kram busts out all the doom and gloom on the drum kit just to let you know that this album Of course the whole band put on an impressive is going to be worth listening too. musical performance. Don’t worry about the song writing (it’s all good) if you want to Even if it’s just for the drumming display you listen to an album where you can just know he’s going to put on. appreciate the way a band performs than this Straight Through The Sun is just one is an album worth listening too. relentless beating of drums and forward One of the most satisfying of the treats on motion. this album is the sleazy grind of I'm Not Your You know that it’s going somewhere... You just Slave. don’t know where until your there. Strippers will love it. And where is that? The next fucking song It’s Look the fact is that Spiderbait have been Beautiful where Janet just fucking nails one around for a long time. They know what they’re of the great pop vocals of all time. doing. It’s what they do. Man, without trying to sound cheesy at all! There’s a little bit of everything on it so That voice... It’s beautiful! everyone will get some satisfaction when they It really fucking is. That’s the sweetness part. listen to it.

It won’t disappoint.

Fall Out Boy PAX AM Days (2013) Review: Strawb G Hetti

Ok, so this is a review.

bean counters happy.

We review things.

PAX AM Days is basically a proper hard-core recording.

When we first found out that we were going to be reviewing Fall Out Boy we were like, totally The kind like they used to make. Not the OMG that’s so lame! Like come on! We’re not like screamo, so 10 years ago kind that made us 12 years old! wonder what the fuck happened to something that’s meant to be hard as in nails and Fall Out Boy... they’re just not our kettle of concrete. fish... Think Black Flag, the Misfits and the Dead What we didn’t realise was that these guys are Kennedys and you will get what we’re talking sneaky motherfuckers. Really sneaky. about. And we, I must admit, got our supposedly “punk Every song is solid. They’re obviously quite rock”, over judgemental hipster panties (yeah talented. we got on our high horse a bit) all in a twist... Produced by Ryan Adams (yeah, that Ryan Adams We owe Fall Out Boy an apology for what we who always makes us think of Bryan and how were thinking. We were wrong. much money Summer of ’69 makes every week just Well, kind of. off Gold 104 alone) and released in Australia as a bonus on their tour CD thingy. The album we were meant to be reviewing was absolute shite. We listened to it and weren’t If PAX AM Days is just an homage I would be impressed in the slightest... the added EP PAX very happy for more bands to be doing more AM Days is pretty fucking good though. homages. Really fucking good in fact. So yeah, we’re going to review the EP. As far as we’re concerned there is no album... just this fine debut EP from a new band, we’ve never heard, called Fall Out Boy. Now, no-one gets to be as big as Fall Out Boy (ok we will acknowledge their previous existence) without being a good, solid band that knows how to write a decent tune. It just doesn’t happen. The flipside of that is if you want to make a bit of money out of this game sometimes you have to do things that other people (like us in this situation) judge you for.

Then again this might just be a really smart marketing move... Maybe they realised that the kids who were listening to them 10 years ago have grown up and realised that bands like Black Flag, the Misfits and the Dead Kennedys are just way fucking better. Who knows they might have fooled us? But who cares? What we recommend is going out and buying this for your nephew, niece, son or daughter for XMAS. We would almost guarantee that in 6 moths time that kids going to be looking for a Mission of Burma album.

Fuck, you might want to get yourself a copy as We don’t blame anyone for doing what they need well. to do to make a living. You’ll enjoy it. Especially, if they decide to release an EP We know we did. like this every time they have to release an album that will make the record company & the

Mayday Parade Monster In The Closet (2013) Review: Strawb G Hetti


No! Really? A whole page?

Although they go close to capturing that initial spark several times throughout the album they seem to fall into taking the easy way.

I really don’t know what I’m meant to write.

The album is essentially a bit boring.

Can I have another album to review? I can’t!

And whiny.

Well, fuck you.

As a straight pop/punk/emo album it just doesn’t deliver as well as it could of.

How long is this review meant to be?

This band had me confused... It still has me scratching my head and although I know I’m a pretty easy person to confuse I don’t know how it did. What has me confused exactly? Freddy Mercury. I bet you’re scratching your head now as well thinking “What the fuck has Freddy Mercury to do with Mayday Parade?” Well, let me fill you in. I know that Freddy Mercury was queer. I also know that he was “married” to a woman whom he said “no lover could replace” Do you see what I’m getting at here? There’s no debating that Freddie Mercury was gay. Who cares? We’ve moved on as a society. We can accept it. Being gay is like making a dick of yourself on social media. It’s normal. But is it possible that Freddy Mercury actually had some biological offspring that we were unaware of? Listen to the opening song Ghosts off Monster In The Closet and you will be convinced that Freddy Mercury slipped it to some uterus who decided to raise the offspring to be an emo/ pop./punk troubadour that wanted to do nothing but weird shit like Daddy but, you know, in a weird emo/pop/punk kinda way. Somehow even with all that promise Mayday Parade still seem to fuck it up.

Which is fucking shame because if they had have pushed the boundaries a bit more like they did with that first song this could have been a really good album. But don’t think that this is a negative review. It’s a review of hope. Mayday Parade might just make that giant leap and do an album along the same lines as the first song and completely blow every ones socks off. Just remember when Rolling Stone reviewed Nirvana’s Nevermind they completely trashed the album. Now it’s in all those fancy little lists they’re forever fucking doing and even got bumped up to a five star record! Will Monster In The Closet ever make a list we make? Probably not because we’re can’t count to that number after 4... so we’re fucked. But the potential for the next Mayday Parade album to get a “Well, fuck me! We didn’t expect that to be so damned good?” is there. But back to Freddy Mercury. Wasn’t that guy awesome! Queen were a band that just pushed every single boundary in music that they could and boy did they pull it off. Imagine if we got another band that did that! That would be grand.

Motörhead Aftershock (2013)

Review: Shane Hilton

Motörhead don’t make bad albums.

This just makes me want to sink piss and party!

Sometimes they make albums that aren’t as good as the great ones... Fucking Motörhead. Aftershock is one of the great ones. When I first listened to this album I got the overwhelming urge to go get my license and buy a car with a fucking banging stereo just so I could stop at traffic lights and turn the fucker up to scare old ladies. Of course Lemmy growls his way through this record. I think he may even bark a little bit. Everything is classic Motörhead. From the 1000 miles an hour blast of Heartbreaker through to the bar room bluesrock swaying of Lost Woman Blues (it picks up at the end) it’s all classic Motörhead. We just can’t walk out how the fuck they’re still releasing albums of this quality... Lemmy’s fucking 67 years old. One of our favourite cuts is Going To Mexico. Look, I’m a huge fan of westerns. It’s something I do to completely switch off from the world. It’s me time. I sit there with my can of Dr Pepper, my smokes and the Al Bundy couch position. I would quite happily sit and watch westerns constantly if I could. I love them all. The cheap studio cash-ins, the John Fords, the Spaghettis... Fuck, I even like the modern Kevin Costner ones.. Well, hasn’t Lemmy went and fucked that little piece of salvation for me! Now, every time I’m watching one and they’re on the run down to the border (and most of the time they are) what the fuck am I going to be thinking? I could handle Cocaine Blues because it was really country but this!

Aftershock is one of the very rock & roll Motörhead albums as well. Don’t worry there’s still plenty of speedy thrash but thankfully they seem to have found a nice mix between the two. Coup De Grace is about as Motörhead as Motörhead can get. Phil Campbell just let’s loose proving once and for all that he is one badass guitarist. He’d have to be. He’s in Motörhead. And of course how can we do a Motörhead review without mentioning one Mr Mickey Dee? We can’t. This may be one of the best performances he’s ever put on record... and he was in fucking King Diamond! But as big of an effort that those two guys make to the album there is only one Lemmy! There’s not one moment on this record when you don’t know that you’re listening to the man himself. He just dominates the whole thing which is an effort in itself. Do You Believe is a song which is Lemmy! And yes Lemmy we do believe! This is an album for any Motörhead fan. Casual, full time or obsessive. Like we said it isn’t good... it’s great! Best of all you can turn the fucker up at traffic lights and scare the shit out of people. Believe me, you’re 10x as tough at a red light listening to Motörhead. It’s a scientific fact. They measured the soundwaves and all that shit!

Future of the Left How To Stop Your Brain In An Accident (2013)

Review: Shane Hilton

Ok, so we know that most reviews of this record nails it. are going to read that this is a return to Of course there’s always the lyrics... form for Future of the Left after last years Fuck, it’s Andrew Falkous! “the Plot Against Common Sense”. But, that’s a load of bullshit!

You know they’re going to be good.

We thought that “the Plot Against Common Sense” was a cracking album.

Should we bother writing some of them out for you to read?

That’s why this review is going to read that How To Stop Your Brain In An Accident is the continuation of fine form by a band who are renowned for their fine form.

Of course not... that will take away the awe you will feel when you first hear them. Future of the Left the ability to go from beautiful pop sensibilities one moment straight into the kind of noise rock that guarantees their never going to get a run on commercial radio.

Future of the Left have always been a band able to keep ahead of the pack in regards to expanding and building on what is a pretty distinctive sound relevant to pretty much just Of course it’s even better when they combine themselves. the two. Something they do a fair bit. A lot of bands get caught in the trap of With out any fucking doubt whatsoever the one forever releasing the same album over and song on this album we will probably never get over again only to be left wondering why the enough is Donny of the Decks! fuck people are suddenly so bored with them. If there’s one thing that Andrew Falkous can Future of the Left don’t play that game. do is create characters that you feel like you You still know you’re listening to a Future of know. the Left album but you know that it’s Donny of the Decks along with Wayne & Claire different. are brilliant examples. Iswear I’ve met all of them. They prove that Darwin was right. That’s why they’re still making music worth listening too.

If he ever writes a novel it would be well worth reading.

Bread, Cheese, Bow & Arrow finds front man Falco opening the album with what might be the most impressive vocal performance of his career.

Of course there's still that bite that makes Future of the Left so special.

That performance is offset by the spectacular display from the rest of the band. You guessed right! It only gets better.

The satire, the anger, the humour, the whole lot. It’s a complete cracker. If you’re a Future of the Left fan your going to buy this album. We did. It’s what you do.

The highest marks should go to bassist Julia If you’re not than this is an album that you Ruzicka. If this album did needed carrying (it should get anyway. doesn’t) Ruzickas lower end would get it across It’s worth whatever you’re going to pay. the line and still make it a great album. French Lessons is one of those tracks where the newly minted Mrs Falkous just fucking

(There’s also a companion EP Human Death. Same sessions and just as good. Buy that too!)

Chris Russell's Chicken Walk Shakedown (2013)

Review: Bruce “Lefty”Knox

We know that this album was released all the way back in July but since we haven’t received a letter from Tony “There’s No Such Thing As Science” Abbott explaining that everyone in Australia, legal or illegal, must, by law, have this album in their record collection we thought we’d run this review just to remind everyone that they should have this album in their record collection. Chris Russell’s Chicken Walk is cool. St Kilda Cowboy cool. That’s pretty fucking cool, my friends. Like all good blues Shakedown oozes. The awesome thing about this album is that Chris Russell knows what the fuck he’s doing. Backed by the always rhythmic Dean Mueller (if you don’t know who he is kids get on the Google and hang your head in shame) Chris Russell’s Chicken Walk plays music that’s as beautiful as it is basic. It’s the blues not fucking rocket science. Released just 7 months after their debut Shakedown is just two musicians blowing out great tunes. There’s no fancy production techniques or bullshit egotistical self indulgence. It’s two guys playing while some guy records it. Of course not everything is simple.

The music is a masterpiece of textured sounds that sit comfortably against themselves without overpowering each other. None of it is out of place. As we all know the blues isn’t about being musically proficient either. It’s not just playing the music. It’s about being a part of it and it being a part of you. You know all that shit. The stuff you hear about in documentaries. Well, these guys must of fucked once because boy, oh boy, it’s almost as if there’s just the one person playing that boogie. They have the chemistry that most people only dream about. They just gel together. Of course being fantastic musicians in their own right probably helps a whole heap (feeling can only get you so far). Chris Russell knows how to play guitar. When he starts plucking the strings on Long Haired Doney it’s enough to make the hair on the back of your neck. And of course there’s the subject matter. When Chris Russell starts blowing on about catfish at the bottom of the deep blue sea and mac and cheese and everything else you would

Dean Mueller manages to seamlessly fill the

expect from an album that takes it’s

songs with the kind of fills that would make

inspiration from the Deep South of Black

most drummers throw the sticks away.

America it’s as genuine as the leather boots of

He beefs it more than a good jar of Bonox.

a damned cool St Kilda Cowboy!

Of course every one is always amazed that 2

As genuine as it gets.

piece bands make so much noise but for once we Because it’s only leather from Memphis cows! actually believe it’s not bullshit.

Cage the Elephant Melophobia (2013)

Review: Bruce “Lefty” Knox

Cage the Elephant are probably forever going to be a band of comparisons.

Teeth is a similar scenario... Lot’s of horns that don’t distract from the band and the song.

It’s understandable.

In fact the horns do an almost psychedelic freakout that is just awesome.

They’re a band that veers from obvious influence before crashing into unknown sounds of their own chaotic making. It’s probably the greatest strength and biggest weakness of their new release Melophobia (literal meaning: aversion to music). The music is hard to swallow. Not that it isn’t good. It’s just that it’s so fucking hard to keep up with. And it’s really fucking hard to review. We just didn’t know what to write about it because while it would be easy to describe the obviousness the unknown is a lot harder. One of the more enjoyable aspects of this record is just the sheer musicianship of Cage the Elephant. These guys know how to play. And play they do. Come a Little Closer is without a doubt the strongest offering on the record. It’s catchy, it’s pretty, it’s got a chorus that the Shins could of written. That’s not saying that the rest of the record is weak. It isn’t. Black Widow is a fucking gem. Those horns... Man, those horns! When a band goes in and decides “Oh fuck it we’re going to do the same thing that every other band does when they want to do something different.... Bring in the fucking trombone!” the result is usually less than exciting. Black Widow isn’t one of those situations.

There’s even a trumpet (we think it’s a trumpet) solo that is sounds like Jimmy Hendrix is playing it. Ok that might be taking it a bit far. But it’s good. Cigarette Daydream is the kind of song that couples will make “their song”. The lyrics are just the thing that people in love like to imagine they’re singing to one another. They’re syrupy but as the title has the word “cigarette” in it That, my friends, is not an easy task to accomplish. And then there’s that fellow Matt Shultz singing. He can sing. That’s all you need to know. He can’t do a spoken word at the end of the song thing but we shouldn’t be too hard on him for that. He was probably wanting to do something unexpected and didn’t realise he would end up sounding like a 16 year old kid reading from his diary (you know the kind that think they’re deep and dark). But on the whole Melophobia is a solid effort. Even though they probably made the obvious influences they’d been criticised about on previous albums a lot more glaringly obvious by trying to hide them. Melophobia comes across as a mature, well written, very pretty album. If you like your music hard, fast and distorted you’re probably not going to want to listen to this record but if you can just appreciate some dudes playing some songs really well (and don’t mind the occasional musical freakout) you could sit down and enjoy this quite happily.

Tumbleweed Sounds From The Other Side (2013)

Review: Strawb G Hetti

I was too young to get caught up in just how good Tumbleweed were. They passed me by completely. By the time I’d actually sat down and listened to a Tumbleweed album they had broken up and were already being revered about in hushed tones. That’s not to say I hadn’t heard of them.

So there I was. Relaxed. Comfortable. Slightly sleepy. Fuck, how wrong I was. This is not an album to listen too stoned... Why?

It makes you want to dance. A friend of mines eldest brother was fanatical I’m not talking early to mid nineties just the about Tumbleweed. Tumbleweed & Tool. head moving type of dancing either. You’re whole body wants to move. Of course that had a trickle down effect on the 4 younger all male siblings... They raved You want to dance just like those people at about Tool & Tumbleweed. festivals who are pretending they’ve taken a shitload of LSD. As the majority of the family were thick necked bully boys with undeserved egos and It’s fucking fucked. heads the size of hormone enhanced Add in the intense dynamics of the music and watermelons I decided that neither Tool nor Richie Lewis’s ethereal (that’s right we used Tumbleweed were for my ear drums. ethereal... it’s the diazepam...) yet strangely I honestly thought that these 2 bands caused direct vocals and you’re on a one way trip to some kind of idiocy... I was half right. La La Land. I still kind of feel that I somehow cheated Every song on this album confirms why myself. I spent the vast majority of my youth Tumbleweed are sometimes talked about in intoxicated in one way or another. hushed tones. Usually achieved by smoking a shitload of They’re a bunch of guys that can throw out weed which was cheap and plentiful. good music at the drop of a hat. I was so Something tells me that Tumbleweed would have impressed that I even got myself a couple of tickets to go watch them live. been the perfect band to sit back and listen too as stoned as a bitch in the bible. I figure that it might be a good album to listen to drunk in pub. It has to be better They don't call it stoner rock for nothing. than valium. So, when Sounds from the Other Side rocked up Another thing I’m going to do is go back to in the PO Box I was half tempted to relive my where I grew up and make those fat headed glory days by stealing a couple of inches of the next door neighbours garden hose, getting fuckwits apologise to me for being such cocks that I never listened to Tumbleweed out of a 600ml of coke, a bucket of hot chips with fear of being like them. chicken salt and chucking this motherfucker on. Man, I could still be there just like them. I’d have 7 kids with 3 different women, a good job But I’m old. I really couldn’t be fucked. on the local council, I’d get pissed at the pub Instead I made myself a pot of tea, popped my all weekend because you pay fuck all rent and legs up on the coffee table and took a couple there’s nothing else to do. of legally prescribed diazepam. Fuck I’d be living the life. I might be old but I’m a lot smarter nowadays. Oh well.

The Flamin Groovies

KIM & LEANNE Freudian Slippers

End of the World

The two former Scientists members have gotten

So these guys essentially broke up almost 30

together and released one damn fine song.

years ago. Then they come back and pretty

Best of all there is an album on the way in the very near future. Freudian Slippers is a perfect slab of garage soul that staggers it’s way in a fuzzed out messiness that doesn’t let you breathe. If you didn’t know these two were such talented musicians and know that the song was written by someone with a lot of talent

much pick up straight off from where they left off. How talented can you be? Is this the End of the World! Probably not but if it is I’ll quite happily go out listening to this. There’s only one way to describe this: pretty.

you could be excused for forgiving that some

Even when the Flamin’ Groovies go into

guys just wandered into the studio picked up

overdrive at the end of the song it’s pretty.

and instrument or two and let loose.

This is a beautiful little ditty.

They didn’t. It’s Kim & Leanne and we want the

Check them out if you’ve never heard of them.


The Murlocs Space Cadet

These boys have talent. We’re only going to talk about one thing with this song. The guitar. Man, oh boy, do we like it. It’s that perfect surf guitar being fucked by Mickey & Sylvias Love Is Strange in panel van out on a lonely desolate beachhead.. All I want to know is what kind of back line and guitar was used to record this. Whatever it is I’m thinking that it’s out of my price range It makes this whole song (ok the rest of the guys do ok). You know that you’re onto a good thing when the guitar is just as catchy as the vocals.


High Tension Collingwood

We really wanted to review the High Tension album but we decided that we’d prefer to wait until we got an interview with them around XMAS time. We just have to ask them. High Tension is something we want Santa to bring us (A Santa in Daisy Dukes...) Look, if you’ve ever spent a night in Collingwood, or any other suburb like it, on the piss you’re going to relate to this song. It’s a straight ahead burner that just tells it like it is on any given night in the crazy world of rock & roll. Oh the lack of memories! The lock up! I fucking hate Collingwood.



Things Were Better In ‘77 the Albums That You Should Have listened to In High School But Didn’t Because You Weren’t That Cool... For instance:

mclusky mclusky do dallas

"Nicotine stained on account of her crotch and I'm aching from fucking too much" (Lightsabre Cocksucking Blues) "All your friends are cunts. Your mother is a ball point pen thief" (Gareth Brown Says)

It's hard to believe that it's been over 11 years since mclusky's mclusky do dallas started snarling out of speakers around the world. A lot can change in 11 years. Presidents become black, Prime Ministers grow vaginas, bands break up, lots of people get tattooed and even more people learn how to do bird calls. One thing that hasn't changed is the potent grip of mclusky do dallas. If the mark of a great album is timelessness then mclusky do dallas should be rearing its fuzz infused, bass driven, off kilter, bellowing head in "Of All Time" lists. But, criminally, or luckily depending on your point of view, this album seems to have been spared that fate. Steve Albini (He Who Doesn't Produce) likes to bang on a lot about how he merely records the albums the bands produce. Well, this is a fucking doozie of an album he recorded right here! The record is faultless.

mclusky do dallas does what all good albums should do. It walks a fine line.

"If I had to choose a woman than I think I'd choose religion" (Day of the Deadringers) "Relatives matter when your legs don't work" (The World Loves Us & Is Our Bitch)

Lyrics don’t mean much though if the music isn’t worth listening too. Luckily, mclusky could cash the cheques their smart assed mouths were writing. The music is jarring. Jon Chappell's thundering low end thud pushes Andrew Falkous’s guitar into an almost chaotic free fall. We don’t know if Falco was using a screwdriver as a pick but there’s something in that sound that makes the inner workings of your spine twist and contract so badly you feel it in your teeth. Somehow though, the music never spins out of control. It may have something to do with the heavy handed rhythm section or the tight bellow of lyrics but whatever it is it made music fans around the world nod their head in delight.

Too much or too little of anything that makes this album worth listening to would have made it It’s scary. Yet strangely fulfilling. In all this is a great album. You could say a irrelevant. From the jarring assault of opener Lightsabre Cocksucking Blues to the schizophrenic closing of the "hidden track" mclusky do dallas rubs against itself spitting out raw anger, humour, despair and a whole heap of attitude.

“classic”. I’m sure that if the three boys from mclusky hadn’t of died in that awful scooter accident in Rome they’d still be blessing us with shit like this all the time.

Lyrically, there's not many bands out there who Oh they didn’t! Shit we never knew! even come close to mclusky (ok Future of the Left (We don’t cop the belief that Future of the Left but that’s kind of obvious in a really dumb way). There isn't a line, word or nuance wasted. A lot of reviewers (us included) like to quote catchy lines but the fact is that everything these guys throw out is more than just memorable (Hello, Ian Cohen!). Some of it's just downright lyrical genius.

is just a continuation of mclusky. We call bullshit. That’s like saying salt & pepper taste the same. Hello, Ian Cohen!)

So although they might be broken up, in new bands and hate this album being unfairly mentioned all the time in regard to their new endeavours. It’s fucking good. Really good.



The Very Best Of

The First Four Years

Laugh if you want you trendie little fucks but Slim Dusty is one of the best musicians Australia has ever produced!

Since the Greg Ginn version of Black Flag (you

The guy is simply a legend.

we thought “Wouldn’t it be cool if we did an

In his lifetime he released 106 albums, won 37 Golden Guitars, was inducted into the ARIA Hall of Fame and toured the country relentlessly!

interview with Black Flag!”

And that’s just a snippet of what he achieved. What have you done with your life? Yeah. Fuck you. I wear my love for Slim Dusty proudly on my sleeve. I grew up on it (unlike most of you assholes who pretend they never bought the cassette single of the Macarena I’m quite happy with what I liked when I was a kid) Give me a sunny afternoon, a couple of beers and this album and I will show you one very content

know the one with the singer who Ginn famously called Chavo Pederast) is out here this November

Of course it would be. They’re one of our favourite bands. But then we remembered what little bitches they are and canned that thought for the piece of shit that it is. Plus that isn’t Black Flag. There is no Black Flag without Chuck Dukowski. Who the fuck wants to read one of the greatest punk rock bands of all time embarrass themselves by bitching about one another?

and relaxed motherfucker! Throw some fishing in

Instead we decided to review Henry Rollins

there and I would be as close to nirvana as anyone else has ever been.

favourite Black Flag album.... Which is saying

Filled with all the songs we know and love the Very Best of Slim Dusty will leave you wishing

If you’ve never listened to Black Flag than this

something since he doesn’t appear on it!

that it had of been John Williamson.

album is where you should start. It’s ground zero of hard-core music.

The standout, for me at least, is, Lights On the

Everything that has come afterward is just

Hill. That song speaks to me on a level more

trying to get to the benchmark that these

than just some truck driver being a bit on the

recordings created.

tired side. Although truck drivers and lack of sleep are pretty closely related to my mental connection. But how can there be a stand out? The Pub With No Beer, the Biggest Disappointment (Slim goes emo), Ringer From The

Essentially a compilations of the first 4 Black Flag EPs and a track or two off other assorted things the First Four Years is the ultimate best of because the majority of the bands full length albums came after all this. There isn’t a weak point on it.

Top End, Duncan, The Rain Tumbles Down In July

It’s just soldered on volume knobs and a

and Cunnamulla Fella (pure punk rock chaos).

successive line of people screaming about being

These are songs embedded in our national psyche! So go and get it! It’s fucking marvellous.

And if you’re feeling particularly generous head over to and make a donation to help keep this thing open. The guy was a legend.

angry. And there’s Six Pack... One of the greatest punk rock songs of all time. That’s go music people. Christ! What happened to them? Bunch of fucking boring old men I suppose.

660mls Later

by Strawb G Hetti

We should all be afraid! Very, very, very afraid! And why? Well, you may not be aware of it, but there's an evolution taking place! An evolution that will result in the death of the hipster! The death of the hipster? Surely, that can't be a bad thing? Surprisingly, it is. Especially when you take in to consideration that the hipster has decided to lay with a very close relative, the dreaded yuppie, to breed some sort of super beige being that will eventually take their place! We know a lot of people reading this would be thinking "Oh, how fucking "mainstream" is that? Writing articles about hipsters! Who the fuck do they think they are? Fairfax?" If you are thinking that... you're nothing but a trendie, hipster fuckwit. So fuck you. Who the fuck says “mainstream”?

So annoying in fact that they think it might be bringing down their property value! Sure they might have marched in the SLAM rally but you know what? That was before. They’d better write to their local council because the patrons make a lot of noise and shit. Of course, we all know that every single owner or operator of a live music venue is, and always will be, responsible beyond comprehension. It’s the only way they can survive. The problem is that these glum, clueless fools are just complaining about other idiots in v necked Motörhead t-shirts and Ralph Lauren rock & roll jeans. So what do you do? Treat them with contempt? Of course people should only get as much respect as they deserve and not a fucking ounce more. Or... we can convert the fuckers! Why not? Religions do it all the time.

It’s called “commercial viability” you cunt

Why don’t we take these morons and re-educate Why don't you fuck off and go watch whatever HBO them? It’s easy. show you're suddenly really into? They want to be us so it’s not a big step. You’re not worthy of reading our words which you Remember not everyone was born a “to the death will no doubt parrot and claim as an original punk rocker”. thought. Some of us got an album from an older much more This tirade touches on a deeper and much more wiser relative or was taken to a show that just relevant issue. It's not about cashing in on blew our fucking mind. buzzwords and labels. Keep it in the back of your head that every time Now, the appropriation of music, arts and we lose a venue... it’s one venue that we won’t get lifestyle by these fucks isn't a new thing. It's back. been happening forever. Fuck, you can’t even go to half the venues for a Remember the Marc Jacobs flannel collection? drink before a show because they’re just infested The problem is that every time these money with these preened, pretty, boring people. hungry, patristic worms appropriate anything Just look at what happened to Dimmeys... You can’t they get more and more power. get a decent fucking flannelette shirt for under Whatever they consume only makes them stronger! $120 anymore... (Does Marc Jacob still make them?) They move into "trendy" suburbs because of the "vibe", and the "lifestyle", and the "venues"! They buy a v-necked Motörhead t-shirt to wear with their pristine, pre-ripped, pre-shrunk Ralph Lauren rock & roll jeans & limited edition Chuck Taylors because they're like cool, and like punkrock, and like really into music!

Fuck! Actually, screw recruiting these motherfuckers. Spit on them. Make them suffer.

These are the fuckers that used to look down there noses at us in high school (the glory A couple of years later these fucks pop out a kid years they try so hard to keep going) and now and that venue, the place that creates the they want to be like us but with more expensive lifestyle they wanted to be around, suddenly clothes. isn't as cool as they thought it was. Why don’t we start some tattoo removal studios In fact it's just annoying. and bleed these cunts dry?






NOTE: Spaces are limited

November Issue  

The Powder Monkeys, Spiderbait, Batpiss, The Jacks, Toshi 8-Beat from Mach Pelican & Lot's of Insults

Read more
Read more
Similar to
Popular now
Just for you