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november 2013

sweet success

Cut-It-Out Cookies

RWM’s 2013

holiday gift guide

resolve: pt 2 Why Doesn’t She Leave

Carrying on The

Family Legacy

f o r a l l t h e t h i n g s t h at yo u a r e . . . r o c h e s t e r w o m a n

I :: november 2013


w w w. r o c h e s t e r w o m a n m a g . c o m

Youre ‘ Invited to t h E

trunk Show featuring Giorgio Armani, John Varvatos and Rochester Exclusive L’Wren Scott

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Noon – 5:00 PM 1575 Mount hope Avenue, Rochester, NY 14620

An afternoon of shopping, music, hors d’oeuvres and gifts. Browse and try on designer frames from Coach, Giorgio Armani, John Varvatos, L’Wren Scott, Prada, Ray-Ban and other fabulous collections including the all-new Bien Eyewear.

Kindly RSVP at

November ETC 7









SPECIAL FEATURE: Rochester Children’s Theatre 14 RESOLVE: PART 2 16








COVER STORY: Carrying on The Family Legacy 30 LEADING WOMAN: Dr. Ellie Phillips




SPECIAL FEATURE: Lessons in Leadership



QUEEN OF ARTS: A Unique Theater Experience 40 FITNESS 42 HEALTHY WOMAN 44










ON THE FLIP SIDE : RWMs Ultimate Womens Expo




CLothes ROCK?

Find the unusual plus better brands & amazing prices at our resale stores.

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Batavia | Brockport | Canandaigua| Elmira | Fairport | Henrietta | Palmyra | Rochester| Webster | Warsaw Shop our stores. Explore our mission. To schedule a donation pick-ip, call 585-647-1150 or visit

Shop our stores. Explore our mission. To schedule a donation pick-up call 585.647.1150 or visit


LETTER FROM THE PUBLISHERS the oven and call it a day. Local entrepreneur Shawn Catalano has taken cut-out cookies to another level. Through her business, aptly named Cut-It-Out cookies, she crafts incredible cut-out cookies into every shape imaginable and her special recipe makes these some of the best you’ve ever tasted. Read her story on page [12].

“Women’s natural role is to be a pillar of the family.” --Grace Kelly Where did the time go? It seems like just a few weeks ago we were celebrating the start of the New Year. Now, all of the sudden, we are about to embark on the holiday season. This time is filled with laughter and giving, and more importantly, a celebration of family. As far as family traditions go, the Colaruotolo Family has been building a legacy in the wine industry for more 35 years. Casa Larga Winery was started by Andrew Colaruotolo and is now being run by his widow, affectionately known as Mrs. C and their children Andrea, Mary Jo and John. Since its beginning, the vineyard has increasingly built a name for itself in the international wine community, and closer to home, it has become a familiar landmark in the Finger Lakes wine country region. Turn to page [30] to read Mrs. C’s incredible story and how this family is carrying on a tradition which began a generation ago. Developing a love for the theater takes hold when that interest is cultivated at a young age. For more than 20 years, Rochester Children’s Theater has been a local institution instilling a very early sense of appreciation of theatrical arts in generations of children. Read about this great organization on page [14]. What would the holidays or any special occasion for that matter, be without cookies? They are a tradition in virtually every household but with our busy schedules, most of us are just happy to throw some refrigerated cookie dough in

In this issue we also continue our fourpart series on domestic violence. In part two titled “Why Doesn’t She Just Leave?”, writer Alli O’Malley explores how that question is actually the crux of the problem. This question infers that if women leave an abusive relationship the problem will be solved and the violence will end. Sadly, nothing could be further from the truth. Turn to page [16] to discover some valuable insights into why leaving isn’t a resolution but could in fact lead to further violence. It’s been an interesting year here at RWM to say the least. We’ve endured lots of changes; said goodbye to some staff members and welcomed new ones into our family. All-in-all it’s been a year of growth for us as we continue to strive to make RWM the premier women’s magazine in Upstate New York. We are thankful for all of our readers and advertisers that have supported us in the four years we’ve been publishing. We hope you will all stay with us as we enter into our fifth year with some new and exciting changes coming in the months ahead. We wish all of you a wonderful and prosperous holiday season and we hope that you’ll take us with you when you’re looking for places to explore in our community. Now, take some time to make some new memories with your friends and families! Sincerely

Kelly & Barb ON OUR COVER... Antoinette Colaruotolo (Mrs. C) along with daughters Andrea and Mary Jo carry on the family legacy at Casa Larga Vineyards. Hair styling for the cover was provided by Tiffanie Prota from Salon Bella Vita, Pittsford with make-up by Photography for our covershoot on location at Casa Larga Vineyards, Fairport, was provided by Elton Photographic.

Publishers Kelly Breuer Barbara McSpadden Editor-in-Chief

Barbara McSpadden

associate editor Ashley Cooper

Creative DIRECTOR Kelly Breuer

Graphic Design Megan LeMay Ashlee Bueg


Elton Photographic Denise Batiste Brandon Vick David McGill Sorrells Photography

Contributing Writers

Madelaine Britt Laura Card Bethany Comella Rebecca Even Amy Gallo Amanda Ghysel Joan E. Lincoln Angella Luyk Margaret Madigan Allison O’Malley Nicole Shein Samantha Strain Pam Werts Brandy White Whitbourne

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Unlike any other publication in the Rochester area, our feature articles address major topics that interest local women. Each issue includes articles on health, fashion, fitness, finance, home matters, dining, lifestyle and personal perspectives, as well as a spotlight on local Rochester women. The print magazines are distributed locally in over 350 locations and will be in your inbox electronically by the first week of every month. The publication is available free of charge.

Contact our home office 585.287.5362 1115 E. Main St, Box 60 I Rochester, NY 14609 Download our media kit at The magazine is published 11 times a year by InnovateHER Media Group, llc. 1115 E. Main Street, Box 60, Rochester NY 14609. Copyright © 2013 InnovateHER Media Group, llc. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or republished without the consent of the publishers. Rochester Woman Magazine is not responsible for unsolicited submissions, manuscripts, photos or artwork. All such submissions become the property of InnovateHER Media Group, llc. and will not be returned.



About Time - 11/8 The night after another unsatisfactory New Year party, Tim’s father tells his 21 year-old son that the men in his family have always had the ability to travel through time. Tim can’t change history, but he can change what happens and has happened in his own life---so he decides to make his world a better getting a girlfriend. Sadly, that turns out not to be as easy as you might think.

The Best Man Holiday – 11/15 After nearly 15 years apart, Taye Diggs, Nia Long (Soul Food), Morris Chestnut, Harold Perrineau, Terrence Howard, Sanaa Lathan, Monica Calhoun, Melissa De Sousa and Regina Hall reprise their career-launching roles in The Best Man Holiday. When these college friends finally reunite over the Christmas holidays, they will discover just how easy it is for long-forgotten rivalries and romances to be ignited.

Hunger Games: 2 – 11/22

Follows Katniss Everdeen who has returned home safe after winning the 74th Annual Hunger Games along with fellow tribute Peeta Mellark. They must now embark on a “Victor’s Tour” of the districts. Along the way Katniss senses that a rebellion is simmering, but the Capitol is still very much in control as President Snow prepares the 75th Annual Hunger Games - a competition that could change Panem forever.

Oldboy – 11/27 Follows the story of an advertising executive (Josh Brolin) who is abruptly kidnapped and held hostage for 20 years in solitary confinement. When he is inexplicably released, he embarks on an obsessive mission to discover who orchestrated his bizarre and torturous punishment only to find he is still trapped in a web of conspiracy and torment.

OUT & ABOUT “Musical Heroics” Launches the RPO Youth Orchestra’s 43rd Season – November 17

“Musical Heroics” Launches the RPO Youth Orchestra’s 43rd Season The Rochester Philharmonic Youth Orchestra (RPYO), a symphony orchestra comprised of 102 dedicated musicians in grades eight through twelve from around the greater Rochester area announces its 2013-14 season-one that explores the relationship between music and heroes, adventures and friendships. This year marks the orchestra’s 43nd season. It is also Dr. David Harman’s 21st and final season as its music director. A performance entitled “Musical Heroics” kicks off the season and will be performed at 3 p.m., Sunday, November 17 at the Hochstein Performance Hall. Tickets are $10 for adults and $5 for students and seniors and can be purchased at the Eastman Theatre Box Office located at 433 East Main St. in downtown Rochester, by calling the RPO at (585) 454-2100, or online at Tickets can also be ordered from RPYO musicians. “It’s been a pleasure leading such accomplished young musicians for more than 20 years,” says Dr. Harman, who is retiring from the orchestra at the end of the season. “These RPYO students have enormous talent and passion for music and incredible drive. I’m grateful to have been associated with such dedicated young people for so long.” Dr. Harman will continue as professor and director of orchestral activities at the University of Rochester, where he has served for more than 20 years. He will also continue as music director for the Penfield Orchestra, a position he has held for the past decade. RPYO musicians undertake a demanding schedule from September through May, which includes regular Sunday afternoon rehearsals, formal concerts and participation in a weekend-long musical retreat. In addition, they are involved in community outreach events and periodically participate in regional and international tours. Visit for a complete season schedule

YMCA of Greater Rochester Waives . Joining Fee for Veterans and ActiveDuty Military Personnel and Families – 11/3-11 YMCA of Greater Rochester is celebrating Veterans Day and Military Family Month, and is honoring those who have made a commitment to serve our country, by waiving all joining fees for veterans and active-duty military personnel and their families (who are not currently YMCA members) between Nov. 3 and 11. The Y has partnered with the Veterans Outreach Center on this promotional effort. New YMCA members will receive access to personal training, state-of-the art facilities, group exercise classes, prevention programs and much more. “Our veterans and active-duty military personnel, along with their families, have made a commitment to serve our country, and the YMCA of Greater Rochester wants to thank them for their service,” said Jennifer Lesinski, vice president of marketing at the YMCA of Greater Rochester. “When you have an individual who commits their life to such a valiant cause, we want to help them in any way we can. We also want to encourage them to stay healthy and active with the Y. Not only are we a place for health and wellness, but our staff can be a great support system. Our goal is to strengthen our community and give back to these heroes who support our country each and every day.” The organization is recognizing military families in November and all year by giving these families a place to have fun, promote health and wellness, grow, build relationships, and form connections with other military families. For more information on the YMCA of Greater Rochester’s Veterans Day promotion, or to receive the promotion, simply stop by the membership desk of any YMCA of Greater Rochester branch or join online at

chatter ::platter

Underground Dining in the South Wedge

Zeppa Bistro

By Nicole Shein | Photos by Brandon Vick


Zeppa Bistro, located in the basement of the historic German House, is underground in more ways than one. The restaurant opened in early 2012, and while it might not have received the same fanfare as other relatively new dining hot spots, it has definitely earned its place in the Rochester culinary scene. “Zeppa” means “wedge” in Italian - a nod to the bistro’s location in the Southwedge neighborhood, but the cuisine is more accurately described as modern American. To wit, the exquisite beet salad with which I began my tasting: a beautiful presentation of field greens, tricolored beets -- pale pink, yellow and red -- goat cheese, orange and grapefruit supremes and crunchy, sugary candied walnuts. Light but full of contrasting, complementary flavors, this salad was a perfect starter. Also perfect? A plate of flaky dinner rolls with a crisp exterior, served with whipped, softened butter. The butter was mildly herbed, and pacing myself while eating these rolls and awaiting my entrees was a challenge. Next up, more dishes full of noshing options. The charcuterie platter is a staple in many contemporary restaurants, and Zeppa’s version was a lovely riff on the classics, with several kinds of sausage, duck liver pate, house smoked tasso, pickled red onions, the ubiquitous whole-grain mustard for schmearing, and blueberry and cherry compotes. There’s not much I enjoy more than a variety of tastes to mix and match, so charcuterie suits me to a T. A generous portion of crostini offset the rich, vibrant flavors of these meats and accoutrements. Another opportunity to schmear, spread and sample came with an appetizer comprised of creamy, sweet roasted garlic, housemade ricotta, pepperonata, and field greens drizzled with balsamic dressing. Roasted garlic was all the rage not too long ago, and it’s a shame that it fell out of fashion, since it’s so delicious. Kudos to Zeppa for bringing it back. The ricotta was flavored with herbs, and just as good on the grilled crostini as the garlic. Piling on roasted peppers and greens helped this indulgent dish feel balanced and relatively healthful. An inventive offering of fried zucchini flowers, stuffed with a creamy cheese filling, walked the line between decadent and summery. Gorgeous heirloom tomatoes in a rainbow of colors, along with a basil aioli, were a reminder that the delicate squash blossoms are a seasonal treat, while the crunch of the coating helped me remember that life’s too short to eat only steamed vegetables. A side of polenta fries, with their mild corn flavor and satisfyingly crunchy exterior, proved that Zeppa understands how satisfying contrast can be. I enjoyed these alongside lamb lollipops with a mushroom and truffle au jus. An additional layer of contrast, this one mostly visual, was provided by delicate, bright green pea shoots garnishing the lamb. Zeppa’s menu follows the popular formula of several small plates, starters, and salads, all ideal for sharing in this intimate, low-ceilinged space. There are also a half-dozen or so entrees, and although some of the dishes (a burger with NYS cheddar, housesmoked bacon and a fried egg; pan-roasted duck breast; grilled chicken wings with Danish blue cheese dipping sauce) are menu staples, most of the food that emerges from this underground kitchen takes the form of seasonal specials. The bistro also offers signature cocktails, including a rosemary-citrus gimlet, a cucumber martini, and a lavender gin Rickey, in addition to a varied wine list and a good selection of both bottled and draft beer. Zeppa Bistro I 315 Gregory Street I Rochester, NY 14620 I 585-563-6241 Tues - Thurs: 5-10pm I Fri - Sat: 5-11pm :: november 2013






Winter Crush!

Is that luxurious fiber ~Velvet~ only for the Holiday Season? By: Joan E. Lincoln

There are many theories on where velvet originated from. But most people agree that it originated somewhere in the Far East and was carried along the legendary silk route by Arabs to Europe. Velvet reached Italy and made fortunes for the cities of Lucca, Sicily, Florence as they had the largest production of velvet from the 12th - 18th century. They supplied it to the rest of Europe. Velvet was used in everything rich, from horse carriages to furniture, clothes, and upholstery.   One of the richest fabrics known to man, velvet is today more in fashion than ever. Couturiers and street designers favor its softness and luster, but it has been famed throughout the ages for sumptuous elegance. Velvet has always reminded me of children’s clothes — those cute, tiny, shiny frocks. But this season, velvet is making an appearance on the red carpet, on fashion ramps, at parties and just about everywhere.   Velvet’s opulence is only matched by its versatility.  This ostentatious fabric is often confused by some with terry cloth and its sister looping fabric corduroy. The difference between velvet and other fabrics is that for velvet, the loops are cut, forming a soft textured surface over the entire surface of the fabric. Terry cloth has loops that aren’t cut, and corduroy has cut loops that appear in rows rather than across the entire surface.   Many designers have treated us to the plush revival of velvet – and after waiting all summer, it’s finally cold enough to break out the luxurious fabric. The only problem? Velvet can be a tricky material to wear. Incredibly chic when done right, velvet also has the potential to look dated and costume-y when done wrong. So, before you take the rich trend out for a spin, check out a few dos and don’ts: Keep accessories simple - hair and makeup should be more understated.  

As the holiday season rapidly approaches, it’s time to start planning what to wear for your upcoming festivities. Take this opportunity to incorporate a splash of velvet into your wardrobe. Forget your assumption that it’s tacky and out of style. But don’t go overboard; wear a pair of black velvet jeans with a t-shirt and blazer, or sport a velvet cocktail dress alone with opaque tights and killer heels. Not only is velvet warm, weather friendly and comfortable, it’s also perfect for any holiday party dressing. A simple velvet dress creates the perfect look for those fancy holiday soirees. Not the type to go to a fancy holiday party? Throw on leggings and a velvet tank and you will still look perfectly festive.   Many feel that velvet is too formal for an office environment.  If you find yourself in a traditional corporate culture, implement velvet in a very subtle simple way.  Use this luxurious fabric as an accessory rather than the main component of your outfit.  The traditional velvet jacket has always been an acceptable staple in many closets.  Just remember to keep it simple and don’t over accessorize the look.   Years ago the introduction of burnout velvet was introduced to the fashion industry. The trend took over and now most of us can say we have at least one burnout garment item in our closet.  This fabric is a subtle way to wear our velvet any time of the year!   There’s something about velvet fashion trends in 2013 that just screams winter time elegance, and now when velvet makes for one of the most sophisticated 2013 fashion trends, it’s high time to seize the moment and make the absolute best of it!  It’s not just for the Holiday Season  anymore! Joan Lincoln owns Panache Vintage and Finer Consignment in Brighton Commons. She can also be heard Thursday mornings during Wake Up With Tony on WARM 101.3 discussing all of the latest fashion trends and styles.

entrepreneur ::RWM

Sweet Success By Ashley Cooper | Photo by Denise Batiste

“If cookies be the food of love…munch on.” –Dame Judi Dench Syracuse native Shawn Lynch Catalano never imagined she’d be managing a fully-operational bakery from her own home. Though Catalano had been around the food industry for years, her background is in social work. Today, “Cut-it-out Cookies” awards the busy mother of two the opportunity to keep up with her kids’ demanding school and sports schedules while incorporating her creativity and her love of making others happy into a single, rewarding vocation. Catalano is living proof that one can have her cookie…and eat it too! Catalano grew up in Camillus, New York and was the beneficiary of many dozens of tantalizing chocolate chip cookies baked earnestly with love by her mother. She suggests that her present love of baking stems from these fond memories and early exposure to the art. In fact, many of her recipes she utilizes today have long been held in her lineage. After making the northwest pilgrimage to the Flower City, Catalano attended college at the State University of New York (Brockport), majoring in criminal justice. She would go on to practice social work for the State of Maine for nearly eight years as her husband’s job led to the New England transfer. By the time the Catalanos returned to New York, Shawn was expecting Breckin, their second son and decided to raise their children as a stay at home mother. When Gavin, Catalano’s eldest son, turned three, she hosted his birthday party, predominately inviting neighbors as they were still fairly new to the community. Something remarkable occurred when the specialized cookies that Catalano had designed for the guests became the talk of the party. Innovative and fun, Catalano cleverly crafted cookies in the shape of the number “3”; each cookie was also adorned with what she recalls as a “silly, googly-eyed face.” From there, neighbors began approaching Catalano with requests to create customized cookies for special occasions, such as a child’s birthday or high school graduation, and “Cut-it-out Cookies” quickly took off! Today, Catalano’s range of clientele is as diverse as each cookie she creates. Some of her orders have come from companies as large as Excellus and as individualized as whipping up a last-minute order of heart-shaped oatmeal raisin cookies for the very lucky fiancé of an out-of-state customer. She regularly receives orders from the University of Rochester (she even has cookies in the spot-on likeness of the school’s mascot—the yellowjacket!), CGI Communications, and other corporate companies. You’ve probably spotted her charming selects at one of Rochester Woman Magazine’s local events---not only do they melt in your mouth, but Catalano has mastered the RWM logo design flawlessly! Catalano operates by taking orders exclusively. She keeps nothing in stock, guaranteeing that everything is fresh and made to order! I am convinced that there is no cookie she can’t make! Peruse “Cut-it-out Cookies” facebook page, and you’ll see album upon album of her astounding handiwork—cookies with faces, cowboy-boot shaped cookies, pink and blue baby gender-reveal cookies, detailed flower-shaped cookies, margarita shaped cookies, sports teams logo cookies, wedding favor cookies (i.e. shaped like a tuxedo and/or bridal gown, wedding cakeshaped cookies, etc.), holiday-themed cookies, letter-shaped cookies, horse-shaped cookies, and much, MUCH more! The fact that Catalano designs her own cookie cutters only adds to the magic—truly validating the possibilities are indeed endless. “That’s what keeps it fun!” comments Catalano in gratitude.

When asked what brings her the most joy in her current profession is, Catalano responds, “being creative,” adding that she loves being a part of truly significant moments in her clients’ lives—she has even crafted wedding proposal cookies! She also packages her products beautifully, 12 appending november 2013 :: an even-more personal touch.

feature ::special

A Rochester Institution Reexamined By Amy Gallo


november 2013 ::

She starts at the very beginning. “We opened in 1991 at the Memorial Art Gallery. We were there for six years and it was a great partnership because we were in residency at a legitimate arts organization in the community – which gave us a lot of credibility,” she says. “But we basically outgrew it.” After moving to the School of the Arts in 1997 and onto the Nazareth College Arts Center in 2003, RCT has not only expanded the size of its audience, but also its organizational structure. Not only does the theater perform a three-show season each year, RCT also produces school tour shows, classes, workshops, a conservatory, and its newest addition – special projects. “As of this year, I have moved from producing artistic director to executive director of special projects,” she says. “And they’re really taking off in a big way.” Haber’s two current special projects – Sweet House and Moses Man: A Musical Journey of a Holocaust Survivor – are very different from RCT’s main stage shows, but they still provide the educational and cultural experience the theater company is known for. Sweet House, which debuted in 2010 and has been performed to more than 20,000 Rochester city children, is an original musical based on Hansel and Gretel. “It has to do with kids making healthy choices, like food and exercise,” says Haber. “This connects it with Michelle Obama’s ‘Let’s Move!’ Campaign, but it also deals with other issues kids face, like bullying and peer pressure.” Like all RCT shows, Sweet House comes with a study guide. “The study guide includes how everything we’re doing on stage relates back to their coursework, whether it’s math, science, social studies, or language arts.” While Sweet House caters to RCT’s usual patrons, Haber’s other special project is made for adults and high school students. A project she’s wanted to do for a “very, very long time,” Moses Man is the story of Haber’s parents – Holocaust survivors, who fled Austria during the Nazi invasion and eventually immigrated to America. Both shows are set to hit the big time: Sweet House on television and Moses Man on stage in New York. “The future is pretty exciting,” says Haber. “Special projects on this level take time and development, but they’re definitely on the fast track.”

Even with a bright future ahead for the theater’s newest division, Haber still lights up when I mention the 2013-14 RCT mainstage season. “The shows here at Nazareth are going to be amazing,” she says. “Rapunzel! Rapunzel! A Very Hairy Fairy Tale is a new work by Janet Yates Vogt and Mark Friedman – I think it is going to be very well received. The Wizard of Oz is one of our most beloved shows – and then, we end our season with Shrek, which is going to be a blast. It’s going to be an amazingly fun, innovative season.” The light in her eyes leads me to ask my next question, even at the risk of sounding patronizing: why children’s theater? Haber doesn’t take offense, “When my partner (RCT co-founder Stuart Burke) and I left corporate theater, it was because we didn’t believe in what we were doing,” she says. “It wasn’t our passion – we knew we loved theater; we both started in children’s theater and we knew it made a difference – THAT is what brought Stuart and I back.”


However, when Deborah Haber, RCT co-founder, former producing artistic director, and current executive director of special projects, sat down to talk with me about RCT’s past, present, and future in their office at the Nazareth College Arts Center, I am happily put in my place: almost everything that comes out of Haber’s mouth is met with a “wow!” or “no way!” from me.

They’ve even attracted big-level talent. “My partner in these special projects is a composer named Casey Filiaci, who is amazing. I am very fortunate to work with him.” Filiaci, who has composed for HBO and Disney, wrote the music for both productions.


A regional organization beloved by many, including myself, I thought I knew everything there was to know about Rochester Children’s Theatre (RCT). Their shows were some of my best childhood memories, providing me – and tens of thousands of other children – with entertainment and a first taste of culture.

RCT makes an educational difference in obvious ways, with study guides and productions like Sweet House. But, Haber explains, face still lit up, that the sheer act of attending a RCT performance is beneficial for children. “When the kids come here - to Nazareth – it’s a cultural experience. They learn what to do when you go to a theater; how to sit, watch, and appreciate,” she says. “It’s that very early sense of appreciation that is important, whether they come with their school or their parents – because the arts matter.” “We do a lot of research when we do grants and there are so many studies that show that children’s learning ability and information retention is absolutely enhanced by the use of the arts,” she says. Despite the lack of funding that every arts organization seems to face, Haber explains how her passion for children’s theater keeps RCT going. “You keep going by finding doors that are closed and opening them, fueled by the passion that makes you never want to give up,” she says. “It is a passion – which I have to say, you don’t see a lot – that is strong enough to hold something together for as long as the RCT has been around.” I have no doubt that passion will continue to delight and educate Rochester children – and beyond! – for another 23 years. “Rapunzel! Rapunzel! A Very Hairy Fairly Tale” is currently running at the Nazareth College Arts Center through November 10th. Tickets are available by phone at (585) 389-2170 or at For more information on the theater and its other productions, including special projects, visit www. :: november 2013


: part 2 ::resolve

Domestic Violence: Why doesn’t she just leave?

By: Alli O’Malley

In 2008, I attended my first formal domestic violence training, which was titled, “Why doesn’t she just leave?” The training was lead by a smart and competent University at Buffalo Law School Professor who had worked with domestic violence victims and survivors for decades. Presentations were offered by seasoned advocates, social workers and psychiatrists, police officers, and people who worked with men who batter. I was optimistic. Surely this group of highly experienced and credentialed people would have the answer. Much to my dismay, I left that day with more questions than answers. Five years later I’ve come to recognize that the root of this question -- the reason we ask it -- is the crux of the problem. We’re asking the wrong question. Let’s break it down. The question, “Why doesn’t she just leave?” infers, intentionally or not, that an abused woman is choosing to be abused and that if she leaves the problem will be solved. This inference is victimblaming. And sadly, domestic violence victims are all too accustomed to being blamed for their situation. Blame is one of the most commonly used tactics of an abuser and it is highly effective. It plays on her emotions and over time it makes her feel responsible. Think for a moment how it would feel to hear your partner say things like, “If you weren’t so stupid, I wouldn’t have to yell at you,” or “If you weren’t so frigid, I wouldn’t have to watch porn.” When we ask, “why don’t you just leave?” we’re doing exactly what her abuser has always done, making her the problem and holding her responsible.

The other problem with this question is that it assumes that once she leaves the violence will end. In reality, nothing could be further from the truth. Before we look at what it takes for an abused woman to leave a violent or abusive partner, let’s consider what it takes for a woman to leave a relationship when there is no abuse. Anyone who has ever been divorced or ended a long term relationship knows how hard it can be to make the decision to leave; and then, how difficult it can be to untangle your affairs. Even if the partners agree to go their separate ways, there are a multitude of factors to consider and at some stage heightened emotions will inevitably blur an otherwise clear path. In other words, even in a healthy relationship, a woman can’t “just leave.” Why then do we believe an abused woman can “just leave?” When an abused woman chooses to leave her partner, she knows that he will not make it easy. In fact, she may fear for her life or the lives of her children. Why? Because she’s most likely been told that if she leaves, he will [fill in the blank] kill her, kill her pet, kill himself, harm someone she cares about, or possibly worst of all, take or kill her children. As an outsider, you might think, that this is all the more reason to leave. You might think that such preposterous threats are empty; weak attempts to scare her into staying. But unfortunately, year after year, statistics confirm her fears. A domestic violence victim is most likely to be killed or seriously harmed by their partner within the first 90-days of leaving. The act of leaving

is an act of courage. She is exerting her power, often for the first time, and her partner will do almost anything to regain his control. If it’s the first time she’s left, he may try to win her back through vulnerability begging for her forgiveness, promising change, even going to counseling or joining a 12-step program. If that doesn’t work, he may buy her gifts like new clothes, jewelry, a much needed vacation, or a new car. He may go straight to scare tactics and threats, particularly if she has left before. Stalking is very common. He may show up unannounced at her workplace or in the supermarket, sometimes with discrete weapons that have appeared out of nowhere. He may vandalize her car or drive her off the road. He may harass her by sending hundreds of threatening text messages and voice mails each day. He may empty the bank accounts or max out joint credit cards, so she can’t establish her own credit. In the worst of all cases, the abuser may threaten or go so far as to harm or kill her pet or her children. As you can see, leaving the relationship does not bring an end to the violence. In fact, as statistics suggest, leaving is a catalyst for more violence. The clients we see at Safe Journey, a program of RESOLVE, are often in the process of leaving their relationship or have successfully left. We support them as they begin to heal from their experience and rebuild their lives. Safety planning is conducted at every visit, because each woman continues to experience abuse from her former partner. In many cases the abuse is worse and she feels less able to protect herself, because when they were together she could better anticipate his behavior. Sometimes court issued orders of protection help; other times they make the situation worse. It is a truly frightening time. When the couple has children, they often become pawns in a dangerous game. Communication about the children is used manipulatively; failure to pay child

support or otherwise meet court specified agreements regarding the children causes tremendous stress. Transitions of custody can be particularly frightening for an abused woman, not only because she has to release her child to the man who abused her, but because in that brief interaction, she feels unsafe and vulnerable; even if the custody transition is handled through a third party, like a relative. Abusive partners will push the limits with children at every opportunity, keeping them late, taking them out of the allowed territory for visits without permission, refusing the mother contact with the kids during visits, interfering with medical care or at school, the list goes on and on. Leaving a violent relationship takes every ounce of courage and strength the victim can summon. When she is contemplating leaving, she needs support and reassurance. She does not need to be judged for having lived with an abusive and violent partner. She does not need to be rescued either. So what is the right question? It’s simple, “What do you need?” Then listen; and as hard as it may be, follow her lead. By meeting domestic violence victims with compassion and empathy, we empower them to take the next step. Be an ally, affirm her and, most of all, be patient. Alli O’Malley is a domestic violence survivor and passionate advocate for the cause; she is Executive Director of Resolve of Greater Rochester, Inc., and is currently serving as Chair of the Rochester/Monroe County Domestic Violence Consortium. She invites your feedback at

cause ::for a good

A Conversation with

Rosa Davila, Creator of the Flower City Down Syndrome Network’s Calendar Project By Ashley Cooper I Photo By David McGill

RD: I happened to come across an amazing street exhibition while visiting family in Madrid, Spain and while carrying my then 15-month-old daughter (Leyla) in a backpack. My husband and I were stunned by the beauty of these images.

RD: I have been a model and a dancer most of my life, so when I heard my daughter’s own diagnosis of Down Syndrome, not only were all my ideas/ dreams of what she was going to look like shattered, but I was thrown into a beauty canon that I was unfamiliar with. I craved images of children with DS. I spent hours searching the web. It brought me comfort to see all these beautiful children.

For a while I considered the idea of doing something similar, but didn’t dare to take the risk. Then I talked about it with Patrick Castania, founder of Canal Town Photo and my daughter Leyla’s photographer since an infant. He said, “Why not? It seems like a good idea to me!” I knew that my PR background would allow me to see it through. So I approached Chris Tumminelli, the president of Flower City Down Syndrome Network and we started the process of getting things going. The rest is history.

In doing this calendar and exhibition, and whilst reaching out to the general public, I aimed for a very specific audience composed of all those parents who have just gotten a diagnosis and also future mothers-to-be that may get a prenatal diagnosis of DS. I wanted to offer them the reassurance I sought so desperately at the beginning of my own journey with Down Syndrome. I wanted the images to show them that it is going to be okay. Different, for sure, but amazingly so!

We invited Amy Emens from Amy Emens Photography on board and she jumped in. Amy had photographed Leyla for a fashion campaign last year… She has a 3-year-old who happens to have Down Syndrome, so this project is very dear to her heart. So with these two wonderful photographers volunteering their time, we were ready to rock.

A new prenatal, noninvasive test available at a much earlier time than ever before, during the first weeks of pregnancy, now threatens the existence of people with DS. (Yes, they are endangered!) The news can be devastating and decisions may be made hastily when in fear, misinformed and strained by doctor appointments more than likely urging you to make up your mind.

RWM: What was the process of assembling the calendar like for you?

I hope the FCDSN Awareness campaign reaches some of those new parents and helps them choose more assertively and make those who have just got an unexpected diagnosis at birth welcome their baby in an easier way that it was for me.

RWM: How did the Flower City Down Syndrome Network Calendar Project come about?

RD: Applications were sent out, and 35 participants applied. I couldn’t get myself to turn anyone down, so I took them all in. We did all the shoots in May and a couple of individual ones in June. It was a tight schedule but we needed to make sure the calendars would be ready for October Down Syndrome Awareness Month and our biggest fund raiser, the Buddy Walk. We found Black Radish Studio by chance. The owner, Sean Dechalais, turned out to have a brother with Down Syndrome! He’s been instrumental in developing this project. Ours has been a wonderful co-creative relationship.

An image is worth a thousand words, they say. Society needs more images of children with DS, and different abilities in general for that matter, so that we can really embrace tolerance and acceptance. RWM: How can the local community better understand and therefore better serve the Flower City Down’s Syndrome Network?

I had to make some difficult decisions in order to keep my vision of the project as intact as possible. But I simply refused to harden my heart. Part of my vision was to have as much parent participation as possible. I wanted to meet people, and I wanted people to have a say. I wanted it to be a community project we could all look back at and be proud of. The pictures were chosen by consensus among the families present. Imagine that? It took us close to 5 hours to choose the final 12 calendar main pages. It was exhilarating, like putting together a big puzzle.

RD: Right now we are still having to push for inclusion and redefining inclusion, and while our children are mainstreamed, bullying can be a big issue for them. The best way the community can help FCDSN is twofold. First, educating themselves about Down Syndrome. You can approach any of us and ask questions. We welcome people who have a genuine interest in learning more about our children. And second, to continue to educate children to be respectful of others with any physical or intellectual challenges. Teach your children that the R-word is not a joke, it is an insult to many.

RWM: Is there anything specific about the calendar that you would like readers to understand?

For more information on Down Syndrome visit

Denise Batiste Photography

WEDDINGS. EVENTS. PORTRAITS. EDITORIAL. Capturing moments that last a lifetime. Celebrating 10 years in business in the Rochester area! 585-281-4862

humor ::A little RWM

All I Want for Christmas is an

✴ ✴ ✴ ✴ EZ


✴ ✴ ✴ ✴ Oven

By Pam Werts The Holidays. No two words can instill such excitement, stress and dread in us all at the same time. I have never been one of those highly organized people that post on Facebook, in August, that they have already completed all their holiday shopping. In fact, I hate those people. I am the person in 7-11, on Christmas Eve, trying to convince myself that my 90-year-old Aunt really DOES want a pack of those pine tree shaped car fresheners and then am annoyed when there is no gift wrapping services provided. The malls are out of control during holiday season, and not having children, I like to go past the cattle-call lines of parents, with screaming children, waiting to see Santa.  I am convinced that that experience alone is one of Dante’s Ten Circles of Hell. I skip by, smile at the parents, waving my bottles of wine.  As a child I used to get pretty pissed off at Santa. In ALL the times we chatted face-to-face, not to mention all the letters I sent, NEVER ONCE did I mention I wanted a winter coat! Yet that senile rat bastard came into my home every year, ate the cookies I put out for him and STILL NO EZ Bake Oven?! As I grew older, I began to realize that holiday dinners differ greatly based on ethnic backgrounds.  As an Italian, holiday dinners take days to prepare. My mother would get up at 4 AM to wash the turkey as if it had been involved in the Chernobyl incident. It wasn’t until I was an adult that realized that cooking a turkey does not require a degree from Le Cordon Bleu. Though removing that packet of gizzards, prior to cooking, is a good idea.  Trust me on this one. Despite being the eldest grandchild, I spent years having to sit at the “kid’s table” which is an experience similar to riding the short bus. You have one kid sitting next to you drooling, another picking his nose and plastic plates and utensils to ensure safety. If my family could have gotten away with it, the “kids” table would have been outside. I mean, hell, it wasn’t like we didn’t have our own winter coats! And what child-hating demon came up with the idea for midnight mass?! What could God POSSIBLY need from an eight- year-old at this hour? Had I been a smart kid I would have used that time as a last ditch effort to negotiate my most desired gifts but I opted instead to fight with my kid sister until my mother shot me a look that would freeze the blood right in your veins. Then it was finally morning. Running and diving into my parents’ bed to wake them so we could go see what Santa brought! You’d think a woman that washes a turkey at 4 AM would be more grateful that we allowed her an extra hour of sleep! And know this: kids can pick out the boxes with clothes in them with the skills of a well-trained FBI profiler. Those were the last boxes you wanted to open. “Now Pammy, don’t you want to thank Aunt Ann for your new hat and mittens?” Really, Mom?! Allow me to be clear: I’m about as thrilled over Aunt Anne’s gift as you are with the clay ashtray I made you in school, despite the fact you don’t smoke. You feeling me here? Then after the gift opening, the cleaning and mimosas for the adults, more church. More? Holy Cats didn’t God JUST see us a few hours ago? What could He possibly want now?!  I mean didn’t the Magi travel MILES just to bring Jesus gifts so I am certain this whole “presents for the children” thing cannot  be completely lost with these religious types! After church, more food and finally an opportunity to play with our new toys! “Pammy, you missed a present here behind the tree”. SCORE! This is IT! I know it! I rip and tear the paper off only to find out that someone thought giving me a mini weaving loom was a great idea. “Ohhhhhhh Pammy look! You can use this to make your very own pot holders!” I am EIGHT! What in the hell do I need my own pot holders for? Ohhhhhh that’s make a place for the lucky kids to cool the cupcakes made in their EZ Bake Oven. Happy Freaking Holidays! Pam Werts is a stand-up comic that performs at various clubs locally. She has produced several all-female comedy shows a year called “Comedy with Curves”.



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Carrying on the family


november 2013 ::

::cover story


By Ashley Cooper | Photos by Elton Photographic For nearly four decades, inquisitive oenophiles from all over the world have, at one time or another, congregated to New York State’s Finger Lakes Wine Region to …essentially experience what all the fuss is about. Among the terrain’s reputable wineries, one such east side jewel stands out, forever etched in the memories (and palates!) of natives and visitors alike. Perhaps the closest semblance to Italy in Upstate, New York, Casa Larga Vineyards is uncannily reminiscent of its Gaeta predecessor. The Casa Larga dynasty began in 1974 when Andrew Colaruotolo began planting grapes as a hobby on his aesthetically-pleasing, Fairport-based hilltop. Colaruotolo planted two acres of vines in efforts to reap a quality wine reminiscent of his grandparents’ vineyard of the same name in his native Italy. When Colaruotolo entered the initial harvest in 1978 into the New York State Wine Competition, the Estate White and Red took home three awards and produced Casa Larga’s first vintage. It wasn’t long before Colaruotolo’s casual avocation transitioned into a fullyoperational business, complete with the construction of the wine cellars, storefront and beautifully-crafted building that we have grown so familiar with. And, as any venture with the Colaruotolo mark, Casa Larga would meet a gold standard in regional wineries, generating only the finest quality of award-winning wines. Today, the 45-acre vineyard is meticulously tended, favoring the mild, Finger Lakes climate and soft earth, and fostered with the same “old world” techniques and careful handling that Colaruotolo (affectionately called, “Mr. C.”) himself enforced. Casa Larga continues to gain recognition worldwide, and its notoriety is quickly escalating as a world class producer of ice wines. It has often been said however, that behind every great man is a great woman. That is certainly the case with the Colaruotolo family. Gracing this month’s cover is none other than “Mrs. C.” herself—Ann Colaruotolo. Rochester Woman Magazine had the pleasure of sitting down with the petite and fashionably-clad Flower City native as she was gracious enough to share her remarkable life’s story with our publication. Antoinette Colaruotolo (nee Campbell) was born to Italian immigrant parents in the midst of World War II. She describes her childhood as being “fun” and “carefree” in spite of a strict upbringing—one that would deter her wide-eyed hopes of becoming an eventual Broadway dancer. In their youth, Ann and her brother, Vincent Campbell (presently serving as Greece Town Justice) attended School No. 30 and Jefferson High School. She later studied accounting at what is formerly the Rochester Business Institute. Young Ann would meet Andrew Colaruotolo at a friendship dance at Ontario Beach Park, near the historic Performance Pa v i l i o n a n d :: november 2013


story ::cover 32

november 2013 ::



and carousel. She recalls their introduction, which manifested in “I think you have to be happy,” states Mrs. C., ever humble, late 1956, with a certain fondness: “even when there’s bad things. I think what’s [most important] is family, your morals, your religion…being kind to others and “He had asked me to dance—I didn’t even tell him who I was,” not being greedy. We don’t need to be multi-millionaires. I’m laughs Mrs. C. “But he did know my friends. He called them up happy that we can eat.” [asking], ‘Who is she?’ He then called me and we went out…I met him in August and we were married in April.” Mrs. C. is quick to remind that the Colaruotolo legacy would not be in tact without the efforts of their employees over the years. Ann had fallen in love with the strapping young mason from Italy, “All of our employees are wonderful,” she gushes. “My husband who studied architecture at the Rochester Institute of Technology used to say, ‘They make us look good!’ And it’s true—we wouldn’t in tandem with learning English. Together, the business-savvy look good if it wasn’t for them.” couple merged their unique skills, her financial smarts with his eye for beauty, and began a successful career in home building. In her leisure time, Mrs. C. enjoys dabbling in the kitchen, The Colaruotolos have left their mark virtually all over Rochester, preserving the Italian heritage fused in her by both her mother, having built 2000 homes in Gates, Greece and Fairport, and and her in-laws overseas. Her friends and family, and occasionally installing sewer plants in Perinton. the community are direct beneficiaries of the frequent trips to Italy, which are largely responsible for her mastery of the art. The legacy that the Colaruotolos have left in Rochester lies not “I can only cook Italian though!” giggles Mrs. C. only in the earth and framework, but also in their family. Mr. and Mrs. C. raised three children: John, Mary Jo and Andrea You may also find Mrs. C. with a group of her best girlfriends who have gone on to have families of their own, and now they’ve enjoying the song stylings of Joo Lomenzo of The Orient Express returned to Casa Larga to lend their hands, carefully preserving performing at the Woodcliff Hotel and Spa. With the same group their parents’ strong work ethic. of companions, she frequently dines out, or opts for, perhaps surprisingly, a wine tasting ( her wine of choice is the CLV Mrs. C. says she feels fortunate to have been able to work from Chardonnay, by the way). home as an accountant during their child-rearing years. A doting grandmother of nine, she is sure to be present for every “I think mothers have it very hard today,” she comments. “You soccer game, every dance recital, every milestone in the life of have to [find a way to balance] everything.” her family. When Mr. C. passed away in 2004, Mrs. C. resumed with When speaking with Mrs. C., one is sure to take note of the Casa Larga, taking over as President. striking sense of peace and contentment in her mien…“I just go on,” she concludes, always with a smile. “It’s my passion,” she affirms. “I love to see the people, to be surrounded by people. I love seeing the rooms decorated for weddings and corporate events…you have to have a passion in this business, or you won’t get very far.” Today, Mrs. C. insists on keeping busy. Her day begins bright and early, at 4 o’clock, in fact, while she attends to the needs of her home, which rests on the far side of the Casa Larga property. Mrs. C. also maintains a watchful eye over the Colarutolos’ construction business, keeping her hand in the practice of accounting. She then makes her way to her office at Casa Larga, which she shares with her daughters, Mary Jo and Andrea. When probed what it’s like to work with her children on a daily basis, she responds with a laugh: “Sometimes it’s really good!! I love that I get to see them. We’re a very close family.” At Casa Larga, Mary Jo manages the winery finances while Andrea oversees operations. Their brother John is also heavily involved in the family business as a wine designer as well as in construction. There’s no question that they are each diligently instilling the values and principles in their own children that Mr. and Mrs. C. enforced in them. Their current success has not come without years of hard work and the ethics as supporting beams.

All of our employees are wonderful,” she gushes. “My husband used to say, ‘They make us look good!’ And it’s true—we wouldn’t look good if it wasn’t for them. :: november 2013


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Decadent Desserts & Dental Health?


By Bethany Comella

Visitors to Phillips European Restaurant in Henrietta already know co-owner Dr. Ellie Phillips as a restaurateur. They have seen her amongst the decadent desserts her establishment is known for as a proponent of bringing fresh, healthy food to the Rochester area. What they may not realize about her, though, is that she is a dentist of forty years, with an equal passion for bringing healthy teeth to the community and beyond through preventative care – in short, she is a dentist who wants to help people not need dental treatment. Phillips’s connection to Rochester began before she even moved to America. Born in the London area, Phillips attended the UCL Eastman Dental Institute, a sister what is now the Eastman Institute for Oral Health at the University of Rochester Medical Center. The original purpose of the Eastman Institute, Phillips says, was to make the children of Rochester an example of good teeth for the rest of the world. However, she believes that our community has fallen short of what we truly are capable. “Right now, Rochester in one hundred years, hasn’t achieved anything – hasn’t remotely achieved George Eastman’s dream,” she laments. “I think his dream was fabulous and I am devastated on his behalf that in one hundred years we couldn’t do a better job.” Phillips believes that care begins at home, through prevention. However, people in the community are unfortunately undereducated as to how this is best accomplished. “They sort of believe that if they brush, if they floss, if they go to the dentist, they’re going to be okay,” but Phillips says that this is not enough, and that by the time a person makes it to the dentist it is often too late. Avoiding tooth decay and dental issues, she believes, can be accomplished through the consumption of xylitol, an all-natural sweetener produced from plant fibers. Xylitol studies have shown that it can safely protect and strengthen teeth, prevent decay, and help heal early cavities. Dr. Phillips has developed “Zellies,” a line of flavored mints and gums that contains 100% xylitol. Phillips asserts that these mints and gums will freshen your breath, remove bad bacteria, and restore pH balance in your mouth. The xylitol will also strengthen your teeth through remineralization. However, Phillips acknowledges that your dentist telling you to eat candy for the prevention of cavities seems to go against everything we have been taught regarding oral health. “What I’m trying to teach people is counterintuitive,” she says. “It goes against the way the insurance system and dentistry is in this country, and if you don’t understand how it works, it’s terrifying.” This results in what can sometimes be a frustrating uphill battle. “What I’m recommending has evidence-based studies, science, and yet it’s been the most difficult thing,” she says. “It’s a tough gig, but it’s an honest one, and it’s about health. She shares that it was easier to start a restaurant from scratch than convince dentists in the community to come on board with her efforts in preventative care. “There are so many philosophies, so much information - who do you believe?” Phillips believes that her success with her own dental health is proof enough of the legitimacy and efficacy of her product. She herself uses the system she developed and recommends, and proudly shares that she has had nothing done to her teeth since she was in dental school decades before. Her mission now is geared towards reaching out to those who can help her reach more people, and right now, Wegmans is her biggest partner. Not only

are Zellies sold in many local Wegmans, but Phillips also teaches employees and shoppers in stores. In addition, she gives seminars, goes to women’s expos, and tries to meet people to spread the word in the hopes that one day, one of those people can help her with this venture. “It’s for people looking for help at this point – I go where I am wanted, now. I can only help people who want to be helped. Something’s gone wrong in our system, where people don’t want to be the best they can be, or the healthiest they can be.” Nonetheless, Phillips continues to be mission-driven, trying to find a way to really crystallize George Eastman’s dream, “because that’s my dream, too – that the community be an example, not just for teeth, but for their general health.” Phillips has carried this passion for health into her restaurant, using fresh produce and real ingredients, nothing artificial. While she takes credit for introducing Rochester to Belgian chocolate and cappuccino, that is not all that she would like to be known for. “Obviously, it’s grown and it’s common now,” she says, regarding the European treats, “but I’d love to be known for bringing to Rochester an equally-valuable and just as delightful way of looking after your teeth.”


By Samantha Strain | Photo by David McGill

::local business

When the opportunity to dive into entrepreneurship presented itself, Lori Jones knew she had to take it. “I’ve always tried to live my life with the least amount of regrets,” Jones said. “Something told me I’d regret not trying.” Trying her hand in business certainly paid off --ten years later, she’s the proud owner of MB Book-tique-- an exciting, colorful store located in the heart of the Village of Fairport. Starting the adventure of business ownership with a friend, Jones brought her flair for style to the table. “Together we decided to cross merchandise--” Jones said, “she with used books and me with gifts and accessories.” The pair truly concentrated on what they loved, blending their interests into what is now MB Book-tique. When her co-owner left the area, Jones became the store’s sole owner, preserving its unique combination of bookstore and boutique, and taking on the challenges and rewards of life of running her own business. The main issue that Jones has focused on is that of balance. From a work perspective, it can be a challenge to balance the creative side of ownership (merchandising, buying, and marketing) with more traditional administrational roles (cash management, human resource development, and the “never ending paperwork”). Jones also noted that the personal perspective is important, and that “balancing family with a growing small business can be a challenge.”

A Match Made in Heaven

But those challenges have not come without rewards. Being her own boss, Jones makes her own schedule, which has definitely helped her strike a balance between her work life and her personal life, enabling her to maintain the roles of businesswoman and mother without compromising either one. “Over the years, [my schedule] has changed greatly depending on the needs of my now grown daughter,” Jones said. Jones has been able to watch her business grow steadily over the years as well, something that she has found to be greatly rewarding. “I find it an adrenaline rush to be part of something that started with just an idea,” Jones said. Additionally, she has loved having the opportunity to travel when looking for new products, and appreciates the business and personal relationships she’s been able to develop over the years. Community and relationships are a significant part of MB Book-tique. “Fairport is a wonderful community,” Jones said, emphasizing that community members are “fiercely loyal” and understand the value of supporting small, local businesses such as hers. “Relationships define our uniqueness, you could say,” she added. Jones went on to describe the story of a recent visitor to her shop, a customer whom she recognized but did not really know. Sensing something was wrong; Jones asked the customer if everything was okay. The customer immediately burst into tears and shared that she had just found out she had skin cancer. The two ended up talking, and the customer didn’t leave the store without hugging Jones goodbye. “She called me the next day to thank me for the hug and said it was just what she needed,” Jones said, making sure to add that the customer is on her way to health. It is moments like these – the relationships formed and the community environment fostered – that Jones believes makes MB Book-tique truly one-of-a-kind. As far as product selection and atmosphere, the store itself is certainly individual. Jones’ goal is for her customers to “step over the threshold and feel like they are on vacation,” aiming to emulate the cute, unique shops that one typically finds at a vacation destination. She describes her store as “700 feet of layer upon layer of cool, funky stuff” that is “always changing and always evolving.” Jones’ biggest seller is Kameleon Jewlery, a line of accessories and sterling silver interchangeable jewelry, for which Jones was named National Retailer of the Month last spring. Jones loves this line for its affordability, beauty, and versatility, and believes that the brand will become “the next big thing.” While Kameleon is one of the bigger lines she carries, it is certainly not the only focus of the store. From flatware to designer clothing samples to used books, there’s something for everyone in MB Book-tique, all with a focus on USA-made and local merchandise. Whether you’re in the market for a gift for a friend, something unique for yourself, or friendly customer service, MB Book-tique fits the bill. It’s certainly a great store to explore, and a great local business to support. The woman behind it all is just as worthy of support - Lori Jones personal drive, love for her business, and devotion to her customers makes her just as one-of-a-kind as her wonderful store.

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Lessons in Leadership By Ashley Cooper


*************************** Late September, I was awarded the favorable opportunity to represent Rochester Woman Magazine at one of the season’s most momentous occasions. The Girl Scouts of Western New York hosted an indisputably successful event at the Riverside Radisson as part of the organization’s noteworthy “Leadership Breakfast Series.” A veritable victory for the Girl Scouts, the event drew in some of the most brilliant, forward-thinking minds in the area—not to mention an exceptional cluster of presently active girl scouts ready to lead the next generation into prosperity with an indomitable spirit.

For over a century, the Girl Scouts of the USA has been strengthening communities nationwide (and now overseas), raising leaders and validating its mission to build “girls of courage, confidence and character, who make the world a better place.” In 1912, Juliette Gordon Low founded the Girl Scouts after collaborating with “Scouting Movement” leader Lord Robert Baden-Powell. Low was determined to petition for more opportunities for young girls, to equip them beyond homemaking, training them in self-reliance skills, in business, science and art so that they might one day become successful professionals and contributing members of society, as well as pioneers for change. Today, over 80% of female business professionals are Girl Scout alumnae, including a plethora of elected officials, educators, first family members, government cabinet and administration staff, most female astronauts, anchorwomen, and more! Another noteworthy former Girl Scout is Judy Smith, American’s #1 Crisis Management Expert! Attendees of September’s Leadership Breakfast to benefit the Girl Scouts of WNY were delighted to collect a nugget or two of wisdom from the keynote speaker, none other than the real-life Olivia Pope herself! Fans of the ABC primetime drama Scandal know that Smith is the inspiration for the character portrayed by Emmywinning actress, Kerry Washington. Among Smith’s real-life caseload are the “scandals” of politicians, celebrities


november 2013 ::

and athletes alike including Washington interns Chandra Levy and Monica Lewinsky, Food Network mogul Paula Deen, NBA star Kobe Bryant, actor Wesley Snipes, NFL quarterback Michael Vick, Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. and more…

Smith entered the White House staff on March 7, 1991 when she served as Special Assistant and Deputy Press Secretary to President George H.W. Bush. She aided the administration in navigating such crises as the Clarence Thomas controversy, the Gulf War and the Iran-Contra Affair. From the White House, Smith started her own firm, Smith and Company which serves as an inspiration for Scandal. In conjunction to serving as the show’s executive producer and technical advisor, Smith writes a blog entitled “What Would Judy Do?” to coincide with each episode. Smith has also authored the must-read, “know thyself” book Good Self, Bad Self: Transforming your Worst Qualities into your Biggest Assets. While Smith shared from her experiences at the breakfast (which was delicious, by the way!), she did open the hour up for questions to close. The program also featured opening and closing remarks from Cindy Odom, Chief Executive Officer of the Girl Scouts of Western New York, Angela Hong, video journalist for 13WHAM and a special presentation by Elaine Spaull, PhD, JD. The audience was treated with some special words from event Co-Chairs Essie Calhoun-McDavid (as articulately presented by current Scout Cheyenne Zaremba) and Diana Palotas. Congratulations to the Girl Scouts of Western New York on a superb, inspirational morning! It is our utmost hope that events like these will continue to support you in your ventures to make this world a better place, starting with the rearing of strong, courageous young women in Western New York. A special “thank-you” is certainly in order to the host committee, the event donors and to Priceless Vessels founder, Dr. Cynthia McGill and Girl Scouts of Western New York Immediate Past-Chair, Mary Worboys-Turner for inviting Rochester Woman Magazine as your guest.



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A Truly Unique Theater Experience By Madge Madigan

Downstairs Cabaret has been a significant player in the Rochester theater scene for almost 30 years. And one of the driving forces behind that iconic institution is Marketing Director Ann Marie Sanders. Ann Marie has been Marketing Director at Downstairs Cabaret Theater (DCT) since 1992 after leaving her post as Marketing Director at Geva Theater. She is deeply ensconced in the Rochester theater landscape. However she also brings experience from other markets. Prior to joining Geva she was Marketing Director at Studio Arena Theatre in Buffalo, NY and Company Manager at American Stage Festival in New Hampshire. As DCT Marketing and Development Director, Sanders is responsible for creating and implementing advertising for the not-for-profit, 501(c)(3) professional theater, as well as planning promotions and public relations strategy for upcoming productions. Sanders is also at the helm for all fundraising efforts and special events. As if that didn’t make for a full plate she also serves as Business Manager, and occasionally acts as music director of shows on occasion. How does she do it all? It must be her affinity for music and theater, cultivated by her upbringing. Sanders’ love of music and theater started as she was introduced to the arts at a very early age and was raised in a musical family. “My parents took me to theatre from the time I was 5 years old, and my mom gave me my first piano lesson when I was 8.  I have 3 older siblings who were all involved in music, so I can’t remember a time when the arts weren’t a big part of my life!” she stated. Ann Marie was born and raised in Horseheads, NY and received a Bachelor of Science degree in Music Business from SUNY Fredonia, with a double concentration in Arts Administration and Communications. SUNY Fredonia is well known for its exceptional music and theater programs. After college Sanders served as Company Manager at American Stage Festival in New Hampshire. Her next stop was was Marketing Director at Studio Arena Theatre in Buffalo, NY prior to her post at Geva and subsequently moving to Downstairs Cabaret.


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The Downstairs Cabaret has a unique advantage in that it occupies three different venues: Downstairs Cabaret Theater - 20 Windsor St., Downstairs Cabaret Theater Center – 540 East Main St., and Downstairs Cabaret at Winton Place – 3450 Winton Place in Brighton. “We’ve had at least one show on one of our stages every week for the past 13 years, so you can always count on something happening at DCT!” proclaimed Sanders. Sanders stated her major goal for her organization is to reach new audiences who may not have experienced the Downstairs Cabaret yet. She said, “All three of our theatres are casual and intimate, with table and chair seating, so the audiences enjoy a theatre experience that’s very different from most.” Sanders noted that there is a real social atmosphere amongst the audience members because the seating is so close to the stage (the back row is only 7 rows from the stage!) “There’s an interaction and connection with the actors that you don’t experience in larger, more formal venues,” she said. Mentioning that Ann Marie Sanders occasionally acts as music director of shows was a vast understatement. She has musically directed and/or served as keyboardist for more than 25 DCT productions, including One Man Band, Nonsense, Godspell, Always… Patsy Cline, Beehive, You Ain’t Heart Nothin’ Yet, The Gifts of the Magi, That’s Life!, Have a Nice Day!, I Love You You’re Perfect Now Change, as well as several cabaret performances. The diversity of all of her roles and the ability to be creative is what makes Sanders love her job. As she stated, her favorite part of her job is “Using my creative juices - whether coming up with new promotions, designing graphic materials, or being involved in the nuts and bolts of putting together shows from beginning to end.” The Rochester theater scene is truly grateful to have a treasure like Ann Marie Sanders.


Darn It Grammie! By Rebecca Even

September has come and gone. My overly-optimistic self hopes that all of you have managed to get all of the wrinkles in your end-of -the-year schedule ironed out. On the other hand, my realistic self realizes that that probably won’t happen until December 30th. I always tell my clients (and myself ) to take a deep breath when September 1st rolls around every year, because it’s a downhill slide until the New Year. There are about a dozen holidays (religious and non-religious) that fall within the last 4 months of the year. While many of them are family holidays there is an underlying theme that we can’t forget: FOOD! I hate to say it, but most of your holiday favorites are on the grim reapers list of not eats. Eating during the holidays is a communal activity. Unfortunate for us, our family and friends don’t all come into town on the same weekend. The pecan pies, stuffing, mashed potatoes, cookies, fudge, dinner rolls, croissants, dips, and hors d’œuvrés will bring you and yours together. Nobody wants to be the person at a party eating celery sticks when everyone else is eating spinach dip and bacon wrapped scallops. Ladies, there is an important fact that you need to remember: much like exercise, the results of holiday eating sneak up on you. Here are some tips I have picked up over the years. First, stay away from the pasta dishes. They are guaranteed to be delicious and usually show up to a party in dish longer than you are tall. You don’t feel as guilty about going back for seconds because there is plenty for everyone. Realize too, that as the evening goes on you are required to taste the masterpiece of everyone you have a conversation with. We’ve all been there before: “Oh! You just have to try this dish; it’s a secret family recipe!” You’ll be quickly uninvited from events if you tarnish your reputation by snubbing your friends’ culinary heirlooms. Cutting the pasta out of the equation frees up a lot of carbohydrates and calories for the delicacies that will be offered to you. A single cup of elbow noodles can eat up 26% of your daily value for carbs. That’s even before those sauces, and fatty meats are added in!


november 2013 ::

DO NOT ALLOW YOUR EXERCISE TO TAKE A BACK BURNER!! During the week concentrate on eating clean and being healthy. It is actually beneficial to your metabolism to have a cheat day once a week. You have to earn it. You will never maintain or lose weight during the holidays if you continually reward yourself with unearned cheat days. Three days of lifting/cardio will give you a pass for an evening. This does not mean that you are free to gorge yourself into a coma. The age old rule still applies: you cannot out train a horrible diet. It is never a good idea to “fast” during the week and save your calories for the weekend. Doing this will wreck havoc on your metabolism. Your body will start to ration for less food and store energy as fat (fat doesn’t burn as many calories as muscle does at rest and is therefore more efficient for a body operating on limited calories). Add a high calorie/fat/carb day on top of that and you can see where things start to get out of hand. This last one might seem a little obvious but never ever ever go shopping hungry. I’m not even talking about grocery shopping. I’m talking about shopping at that gosh darn mall. Most of us tend to eat when we are stressed, sad or angry. Personally, holiday shopping puts me into any one or any combination of those moods. At some point during your travels you will find yourself standing downwind of the food court. By that point you’ve had to stand in lines, you’ve spent too much money and you’re tired. A nice, high-protein leafy salad isn’t going to make you feel better; those cookies, and those warm pretzels and that Chinese food are really the only things that are going to hit the spot. Always go to the mall armed with snacks. I usually bring a trail mix or protein bars, just enough to tide me over until I get home. Follow these tips and you will come out of the holiday season on top of your game. If you play it right you won’t have a reason to curse your grammie for bringing over your favorite Christmas cookies. If any of you have questions about how to get started feel free to send your questions to Becca Even, Fitness Director RAC for Women Pittsford.

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woman ::healthy 1

You’d Better Get Your >> Eyes Examined! Tracy H. Kroft Did your mother ever say that to you? (Usually it would happen if you weren’t “seeing eye to eye” about something!) Well, it’s good advice, anyway especially for women. We all want to be able to see the beautiful colors of the Finger Lakes foliage in the fall … bursts of yellow daffodils poking through the snow and heralding early spring … the smiles of the ones we love. That’s why it is important for women to keep their eye health in focus. According to Women’s Eye Health (, two-thirds of blindness and visual impairment occurs in women … two-thirds! And 75% of visual impairment is estimated to be preventable or correctable. Researchers have found that women are at greater risk for blindness and vision loss due to the fact that some common eye diseases – dry eye syndrome, autoimmune diseases and some types of cataracts – are more common in woman. In industrialized countries like the US, women outlive men, thus, they become more apt to suffer from age-related eye disease such as macular degeneration and cataracts. We hear all the time about heart disease and cancer, and we try to eliminate the factors that might put women at risk for those diseases. Did you know, however, that blindness and vision loss have the same risk factors? Smoking, obesity, unhealthy eating habits, lack of exercise … all of these contribute to the risk of vision impairment. “There’s truth to the ‘eyes being the window to the soul’ – the eyes reflect the individual’s overall health,” says Tiffany Cheng, O.D of Rochester Optical. “This is why a regular dilated eye exam is so important.” Something else to consider as you think about your eye health is your family history. Do certain eye diseases like glaucoma or macular degeneration run in your family? These diseases, if detected early, are treatable. Consider, too, how aging affects your eyes, as well as what eye diseases are especially prevalent in

women. Also, women taking tamoxifen for breast cancer are at risk for eye disease as a result of the use of this drug. Tamoxifen can cause cataracts, as well as damage to the retina. If you are taking tamoxifen, get regular eye exams, and if you notice any changes in your vision, talk to your doctor. “Women are so busy taking care of their families, their jobs, and their lives that they don’t always have time to think about their own health,” so says Tommy Thompson, former US Secretary of Health and Human Services. This is definitely true about eye health – a woman arranges for a vision screening for her children, makes sure her aging mother gets examined for glaucoma, but when it comes to her own eye health, she neglects it. Save your sight. Get your eyes examined! Besides regular eye exams, what can you do to keep your eyes healthy? First of all, stop smoking! Not only does smoking shorten one’s life, there is strong evidence that smoking causes macular degeneration and cataracts. Next, maintain a healthy body weight. Eat lots of dark leafy greens and fish; studies have found that eating foods containing carotenoids and other antioxidants appears to protect from age-related macular degeneration and cataracts. Don’t sit so close to the computer; it causes eye strain. Rest your eyes by looking into the distance for a few minutes before going back to the computer. Another thing you can do is to avoid too much sunlight. There is evidence that sun exposure may encourage the progress of one type of cataract. So, be prudent; wear sunglasses. And get that eye exam! One place to do that is the new Mt. Hope Avenue location of Rochester Optical. They have state-of-the art equipment for your eye exam, and you can find high fashion frames and the hippest sunglasses in town.

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traffic ::wisdom in a

Achieving Great

Customer Service By Angella Luyk

Dear Angella, I am starting a business and I know customer service is important. How do I develop a customer service program? -Harriet

Dear Harriet, Yes, customer service is very important. Depending on the industry, it can cost anywhere from 4-7 times more to get a new customer than it would cost to keep a current customer happy. The average business never hears from 96% of its unhappy customers. Of customers who register a complaint, between 54 and 70% will do business again with the organization if their complaint is resolved. That figure goes up to 95% if the customer feels that the complaint was resolved quickly. It takes, on average, twelve positive incidents to make up for one negative incident. With that said, there are six key strategies to help you develop a customer service plan. 1. Take a top down approach. You need to take action and go out in the field and lead by example. Answer calls in the all center and do follow up, or go out in the field and ask customers what they like and don’t like. If your employees see you being positive even during the most negative situation, they will follow your example. 2. Ask for feedback and use it. Find out exactly what your customers want, how they perceive purchasing from you. If necessary you can use surveys or focus groups. Follow through with what you learn to make changes in your company. Ask your employees how they would feel if the situation was reversed and they were the customer. 3. Educate your entire staff. Give them training to build skills in specific areas of service excellence and any improvement from the surveys you received. Role playing is a great way to experience what your customers are feeling. 4. Create customer friendly systems. Make it easy for the customer to buy from you, to contact you, for complaints or praise. If they wish to return merchandise, can it be done easily? Do you hassle them or just except their return with no explanation. 5. Develop consistency. Clearly communicate to your staff what you expect and what your customers expect. Make sure everyone understands and is following the plan you have developed. Customers often do not like change,;be as consistent as possible. Test your employees; ever heard of secret shoppers? Send someone in to make a purchase, or call up with a question. Did your employee do well? Were you happy with the way they handled things? Use that information to further educate your employees. 6. Recognize excellence every chance you get. You can do this with employee recognition, when a customer takes the time to let you know your employee did a good job, thank them. You could create an incentive program around happy customers. Your employees are the people who are out there representing your company. If they are happy and feel appreciated, they will treat the customer better. Remember your employees are one of your greatest assets. Tap into them when creating this plan. When people feel they helped create the plan, they will buy into it more. Do you have a question for Angella? Send it to or check out her two complementing businesses at or

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Experiences that last a lifetime When you sign up your son for Cub Scouts, you’re signing him up for much more than an after-school activity. Whether he’s camping for the first time or catching his first fish, your son will be taking part in activities that are fun, as well as building his character and starting him on a path to success. While there are lots of cool badges to earn, the experiences along the way will be his true rewards.

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rochester women

Edythe Gansz

Owner, Empire Appraisal Associates

By Ashley Cooper | Photo by Denise Batiste

Each month, our publication is adorned with the profiles of the area’s most upstanding societal contributors; Edythe Gansz is certainly no exception to the ranks of consummate professional women who’ve demonstrated merit in their vocational and/or personal lives in and outside of the Rochester area. However, the woman at hand perhaps stands out as having one of the most versatile, longevous career lives of any of those I’ve had the pleasure of spotlighting.

Interestingly, Edythe’s entrance to the workforce began in Lyons, New York upon graduating from the Eastman School of Dental at the University of Rochester. A vested interest in studying periodontal disease, she additionally completed Graduate Dental Coursework at Tufts University, New York University and the University of Buffalo. While working as a highly skilled and personable dental hygienist, Edythe was introduced to her soon-to-be husband, Duane E. Gansz, an area businessman at the time. According to her children, Edythe maintained her dental hygienist license until 2008, having been employed in the field seasonally and per diem throughout their college careers to help fund tuition. In the 1970’s, Edythe’s interests in marketing and advertising led her to the position of corporate consultant for Widmer Wine Company. A director of tourism, Edythe developed the unique wine tastings and tours in the Finger Lakes region, having been instrumental in making the region the key attraction that it is today. Later, Edythe would join her husband’s business, Gansz Auction and Realty and use her striking sense of creativity to help him develop his brand messaging. In working alongside Duane, Edythe would cultivate a love for both antiques and fine arts, which prompted in the development of her own business, Empire Appraisal Associates. “I could see a need for an independent entity for personal property appraisals in arts and antiques, in which I had a very sincere interest,” recalls Edythe of her venture as sole proprietor. “At the same time, it would complement Gansz Auction and Realty in helping to naturally grow our business with individuals, banks, estate specialists and insurance companies.” For several years, Edythe also realized her dream for owning an operating her own upscale retail shop, known as Peppermintz Gallery. Though the store, which exhibited an array of international peppermint, collectible items, artwork and gift baskets had a highly successful tenure, Edythe selflessly closed shop in 2000 following her husband’s untimely passing. She decided to return to Canandaigua, where she remains active as a community volunteer, a trustee, and an advocate for making the “Chosen Spot” an ideal destination for fine arts in the Finger Lakes region. Those who know Edythe would describe her as a true “visionary” through and through, a dedicated public servant and hard worker. Edythe herself will stress that success is no fly-by-night operation. “I feel that not just women, but society in general, want instant success but need to realize that it takes time to achieve the levels of success you desire,” states the mother of two (and grandmother to three).” She humbly offers this to aspiring business owners: “When you have your vision, prepare yourself for all possible risks, set long term goals, but at the same time set short term attainable goals. Overall, do not give up. If you enjoy what you do, the work will be hard, but you will feel more fulfilled when experiencing success.” :: november 2013


inspire :rw

“I had the opportunity to work with many great leaders that led by example and became my role models.” Sharon Joslyn

Controller/Human Resources Manager, Bristol Harbour Resort By Madge Madigan | Photo by Denise Batiste

Sharon Joslyn is the Controller/Human Resources Manager of the beautiful five season retreat Bristol Harbour Resort. As if helping to grow her company into a premiere destination for the Finger Lakes wasn’t enough, Sharon doesn’t feel complete unless she is helping others. Each morning Sharon reflects on a wall hanging entitled “Life’s Little Instructions” with several lessons she strives to follow. Two that stand out to her are “Leave everything a little better than you found it” and “Treat others how you would like to be treated”. These two lessons are what motivate Sharon in her quest to helping others and serve the community. Sharon has been an active member of Professional Women of the Finger Lakes(PWFL) for over four years now. Her passion, energy, and commitment to the organization garnered her title of PWFL Woman of the Year in 2012. Professional Women of the Finger Lakes is an organization that focuses on Community involvement, working family values, work-life balance, and workplace equity. The organization offers scholarships and mentoring to college bound high school students and adult women wishing to further their education and provide better for their families. Sharon was first drawn to this organization as she had just recently moved to Canandaigua and was looking to get involved with the community. While looking through a local publication she saw an ad for an open house for an organization called Business & Professional Women of Canandaigua. The open house offered wine and chocolate, what more could a girl ask for? Sharon recalls there was a raging snowstorm that night but still decided to go, and so did about 40 other women. She felt an instant connection to the group and has been hooked ever since. “In the early years of my professional career, I had the opportunity to work with many great leaders that led by example and became my role models. I strive to follow in their footsteps and promote a strong work ethic and commitment to excellence that is in a sense a ‘pay it forward’ attitude”, Sharon stated. WFL affords her that opportunity, saying “I have been mentoring two young ladies who have grown and developed over the past few years with my guidance. I have had an influence on their work ethic and leadership style.” In addition to mentoring, Sharon has helped raise thousands of dollars through events and networking to provide scholarships for high school age and adult women entering college. In this task, Sharon is helping to promote another one of her passions, lifelong learning. And she practices what she preaches with an A.A.S. in Merchandising from Maria Regina and a B.S. in Organizational Management from Roberts Wesleyan College. She has also raised two boys that have excelled in higher education, one has a Doctorate of Physical Therapy, the other has an MBA. Ironically Sharon confessed she never really thought about a career when she was growing up. She was raised in an era where she just thought she would get married like her two older sisters. However, after getting a taste of the working world through a summer job and realizing she had an aptitude for numbers, Sharon pursued more education and greater career opportunities. And now, besides her career with Bristol Harbour Resorts, she has three part-time jobs in addition to her involvement with PWFL and helping out women to find their path. Sharon is a true role model in leading by action not just words.



“I want to teach them to have a richer life, not money, but something they can look back at and be proud of.” Diana Griffith

CEO, President, Park West Hair Design and Spa By Brandy Whitbourne | Photo by Denise Batiste

Every woman likes to look and feel her best while juggling career, family, friends and daily activities. With our constant running around, it’s hard to keep up with our hair, nails and make up. It is such a wonder that Superwoman always looks so put together while saving the world! With a little help from Park West Hair Design and Spa in Canandaigua, NY every woman can confidently go about her routine knowing she has luscious layers and magnificent manicures while feeling relaxed from a day at the spa. Diana Griffith, CEO and President, started the business back in 1996 after meeting her husband. Before then she went to cosmetology school to become a hairdresser after a friend prompted her to go. The salon started out as a 600 square foot building with three hair stations along with one nail and one pedicure station. Six years later she was given the opportunity to expand into the whole building, giving her a total of 5,300 square feet of room, allowing her to open a spa. They now offer women, men and children’s cuts, hair styling color and treatments, cosmetics along with manicure and pedicures. The spa offers a wide range of treatments such as skin care, enhancements in waxing, sunless tanning and microdermabrasion, body treatments/wraps, massage therapies and spa day packages. “All of our spa treatments are phenomenal,” said Griffith. “Personally, all services are very relaxing. They all promote good health and do so much for your body.” Griffith is passionate about what she does and even more passionate about her employees. I wanted to create a culture where they can get education and training,” said Griffith. “I want to help them build their careers and not just a job. I want to teach them to have a richer life, not money, but something they can look back at and be proud of.” She explained how all the technicians need to be New York State certified, focusing on hair, manicures, pedicures, facials waxes. “I like them to focus on one area,” said Griffith. “Some cross into other departments but I think that if you have mastered one skill you can become successful. Just like the saying, ‘Jack of all trades, master at none.” As a hairdresser Griffith says it is important to maintain hairstyle and color by rebooking your appointment and taking away the stress of having to rush and get an appointment. “What I love most about my job is getting up in the morning and going to work in an environment where I can someone feel good,” said Griffith. “I’ve been doing it for 28 years and I still have a lot of fun. I love it!” The salon is currently re-vamping the salon by remodeling the front of their store along with adding a skin and nail bar along with two hair stations and a new hair removal technique that everyone there is excited about! :: november 2013




“Regardless of what type of cancer it is, it feels like we can do better and that we can do more.” Sharon Gullo

Psychiatric Nurse, Canandaigua Lake Counseling by Madelaine Britt | Photo by Denise Batiste

Sharon Gullo is an Athena award winner, mother of five, psychiatric nurse at the Canandaigua Lake Counseling Center, professor at the University of Rochester, a trained I.C.U nurse, and an active sailor, skier, and soon to be tennis player. She is also 70-years-old. For the award winner, age is just a number, and it is placed behind Gullo’s dedication to her community. Having worked at the Canandaigua Lake Counseling Center for close to four years, Gullo’s experiences as a psychiatric nurse have greatly impacted the way she lives her life. The award came as quite the surprise to Gullo, but for Rochester residents, her traits embody those of an Athena. These qualities, according to Gullo, have been inspired by the work she does at the center. She has learned quite a lot from working with her patients, says the winner. “You need to really take in all the information about people and not make rash judgments about what their capability is or what kind of person they are,” says Gullo, “that has served me very well in establishing my friendships and getting to know people with what they value, and to not compromise on my own values. They are very pivotal in how I run my life.” A neonatal nursing student originally, Gullo says that her passion for psychiatric study fueled her decision to earn a Master’s Degree in psychology. The opportunity to see a patient succeed and improve is what motivates Gullo to continue moving forward. “My passion is equated to watching people heal- to get better as a person and grow and be happier,” said Gullo, “it’s inspiring to watch people heal emotionally and physically.” As an individual who works in the mental health sector, Gullo brings with her a unique perspective to the very current and very heated discussion about the future of mental health in the United States. According to Gullo, there is room for improvement. “Our effort to de-institutionalize people has had a backlash on our system,” said Gullo, “when we closed the majority of the mental hospitals, people went to group homes and into the community, and the results were that people were non-compliant, became homeless, or became criminals.” The Canandaigua Lake Counseling Center has been an area resource for those suffering from challenging life situations. Gullo, along with her colleagues, possesses a vital role in the Rochester community. “We serve a number of people and adolescents and young adults and parents in helping people journey through a lot of very, very difficult situations,” said Gullo, “we have a huge case load. Both my colleagues have been at the counseling center much longer than I have and have numerous clients.” No heavy workload, however, seems too much for the awarded and revered Sharon Gullo. There’s no stopping her as she continues to find new ways of improving the community that so highly respects her.


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“God willing I will be able to remain in the field and have the ability to serve the community that I live in,” said Gullo, “I’m looking forward to continue being very active and also serve the community any way that I can.”

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Rochester Woman Magazine



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RWM’s Events ABW Walk a Mile in Her Shoes

Towpath Bike’s 3rd Annual Breast Cancer Bike & Run Over 650 riders, walkers and volunteers gathered at Mendon Ponds Park on October 13th for the 3rd Annual Breast Cancer Bike & Run. The event raised over $83,000 for breast cancer research making it the largest breast cancer ride for the 2nd year in a row. The event was co-sponsored by the Van Bortel Auto Group and Trek Women. RWM October Think Pink Issue Launch Party at Luxe Salon Luxe Salon and Spa was the perfect setting for our October Issue launch party. The party also served as a fundraiser for the American Cancer Society. For a small donation, attendees were treated to services like manicures, pedicures, facials and more. Incredible food was provided by Veneto, Angus House and Lounge and Cut-It-Out Cookies. Live music was provided by Deb Magone.


november 2013 Monopoly Tournament

8 Cocktails & Couture

10 43rd RMSC Annual Holiday Bizaar

22-24 Hero’s Ball

23 All women rock

23 20th Annual Park Avenue Holiday Open

december 5

Organization: Gilda’s Club of Rochester Where: Rochester Club Ball Room When: 6:30pm Website: Organization: Wilmot Cancer Center Where: Eastview Mall When: 7-9pm Website: Organization: Women’s Council of the RMSC Where: RMSC When: Fri 9pm-5pm, Sat & Sun 9:30am-5pm Website: Organization: Gilda’s Club Where: RIT Inn & Conference Center Website: WHEN: 6:00 PM to 9:00 PM WHERE: Memorial Art Gallery WHAT: Red Carpet Balck Tie Affair Tickets: Headz Up Hats Where: Park Avenue When: 5-9pm Website: :: november 2013



Alternatives for Battered Women’s (ABW) 7th annual “Walk A Mile in Her Shoes” fundraiser took place at Ontario Beach Park on October 5. Teams walked in stilettos and sneakers to bring attention to domestic violence in our community. With over 200 people in attendance, it was a tremendous show of support and helped ABW to raise over $24,000 dollars! Chief Sheppard of the Rochester Police Department issued a Chief ’s Challenge with many area police and fire chiefs responding to the call! Rochester Fire Chief Mitrano and other area leaders took the challenge to walk a mile in heels including: NYS Senator Ted O’Brien, NYS Senator Joseph Robach, Brighton Chief of Police Mark Henderson, Gates Chief of Police James Vanbredorode; Investigator Carlton Turner, Office of Public Integrity, Deputy Commissioner Monroe County Department of Human Services, Nancy Forgue among others

women ::tips for

Holiday Survival Guide By Laura Card The holidays are right around the corner, and as much as we look forward to the upcoming celebrations and festivities, there is also another side of the coin… Between office parties, mall food courts, gatherings with friends and family, and religious events, sticking to our healthy living plan might be challenging. Additional stress, not enough time for your regular workout routine and lack of adequate rest all add up fast, and we can be facing compromised weight management, diminished energy and overall health, and a missing sense of well-being… Fear not, it doesn’t have to be this way! With some preparation and a good plan in hand, you can enjoy the pleasures of the holidays, indulge in the delicious foods, have fun with friends and family – without gaining weight, feeling exhausted, and wishing the holidays away. Here is how: Before the Holidays Arrive • Be proactive, and tighten up your diet a few weeks before the holidays arrive, knowing that you will most likely be splurging every now and then during the holiday season. • The same goes for exercise – kick it up a notch for a few weeks by adding another 10-15 minutes to your usual workout routine, or commit to taking a walk during your lunch hour. • You will love this one! – Buy yourself a fabulous outfit that makes you look great and celebrates your current figure… Picture yourself looking gorgeous in that dress every time you are feeling unmotivated, or thinking about reaching for a cookie, or a midnight snack. On the Party Days • Do NOT skip breakfast and lunch, and do NOT go to the party hungry. The idea of “budgeting” calories throughout the day might backfire, because you will be starving and most likely overeat thereafter.


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• Look over all the food offerings before filling up your plate. Chose lighter fare such as lean meats and vegetables, whole grains, and fruit desserts. Use a smaller plate and remember that “If you halve it, you can have it”. • Watch the alcohol calories – they add up fast. Alternate alcoholic drinks with less caloric beverages such as sparkling water with a splash of pomegranate, cranberry and/or lemon juice. • Skipping dessert would be a smart choice. If you must have a taste, get a small piece, and enjoy every bite of it – it is holiday time after all! And After • Get right back into your regular eating and exercising routine. Consider eating lighter for a day or two, or do an intermittent fasting. • Don’t worry if you slipped a little – even the most disciplined people do every now and then, so don’t beat yourself up. Stay positive, stick with the plan, and DO NOT give in to “all-or-nothing” thinking – the idea of doing things to perfection or not doing them at all is a dangerous pitfall, and has kept many people from succeeding. • Stay motivated by imagining yourself in that fabulous dress, and celebrate your strength – every cookie you didn’t eat counts! If you follow these guidelines, you should be able to enjoy the holidays without too much stress, fear of gaining weight, and feeling regrets thereafter. And if you slip along the way, or decide to totally disregard “Healthier Holidays Plan” – well, that’s fine too! Just brush yourself off on January 2nd or 3rd, hire a Health Coach, and make 2014 to be the year when the happiest, healthiest, most vibrant and radiant version of you will show up and shine!

Madonna OB/GYN is Accepting New Patients Welcoming New Patients To Madonna Ob/Gyn Offering a state of the art facility that provides all aspects of women’s health as well as Botox!

Catherine Falcon, NP • Sraddha Prativadi, MD • Madonna Tomani, MD, FACOG • Catalina Vial, MD • Christy Jackson, CNM If you are considering a new OB/GYN, come to our conveniently located state-of-the-art facility at Cambridge Place in Brighton, right off of I-590.

•We offer Comprehensive, Compassionate OB/GYN services focusing on women’s health and wellbeing in a serene and personalized atmosphere. Women’sHealthCare Call us at 585-698-7077 to schedule a complimentary Get Acquainted appointment.

Procedures, • Ultrasound, Visit us at for a complete listing of our services. daVinciRoboticSurgery • DeliveriesandSurgeriesat

Affiliated with Highland Hospital Cambridge Place 1882 S. Winton Road, Suite 3 Rochester, New York 14618

MadonnaInvision OB/GYN Health


Daughter, Mother, Sister, Friend: Through every stage in life, Rochester General Health System delivers lifelong assistance and peace of mind. Complete OB/GYN services include designated Centers of Excellence in minimally invasive gynecology and breast cancer diagnosis and treatment. And our preventive-care resources provide comprehensive support for women’s needs for good health that lasts a lifetime.

From Our Hearts To Yours. Introducing the HeartMatters Cardiac Rehab Program.

St. Ann’s Community is proud to introduce HeartMatters, a new evidence based program that was developed in collaboration with Cardiologists and Cardiothoracic surgeons including Rochester General Hospital Chief of Cardiology, Gerald Gacioch, M.D. and St. Ann’s Chief Medical Officer, Diane Kane, M.D. HeartMatters provides the region’s best program for patients with cardiac conditions such as heart failure, myocardial infarction and post cardiac surgery (i.e., CABG, valve replacement). We recognize the uniqueness of each individual and will work with you to develop a plan of care that will improve your quality of life and reduce the likelihood of readmission back to the hospital. You and your family will receive the knowledge necessary to better manage your condition after returning home.

For more information or to learn how to preplan a rehab stay, please call 585-697-6311 or visit The HeartMatters cardiac rehab program is available at: St. Ann’s Community, Irondequoit and St. Ann’s Care Center, Cherry Ridge Campus in Webster.

Caring forThe Most Important People on Earth

HeartMatters Cardiac Medical Director, Gerald Gacioch, M.D. and St. Ann’s Chief Medical Officer, Diane Kane, M.D.

Supported by a grant from Greater Rochester Health Foundation

November 2013  

Our November issue welcomes the holiday season with our annual Holiday Gift Guide. Our Cover story features Mrs. C the matriarch of Casa La...