e your screen
Aren’t We? Aren’t We? Aren’t We? Rollover 4
Pa s s Inter Cons
sive rchangeable sumers
Research on the film Oldboy directed me into an interesting field of research regarding the influence of America around the world and the global corruption which is occurring in politics. Old Boy engages the viewer through its conspiracy narrative. Viewers are engaged because of the everyday experience of unimaginable social forces that constrain our reality. It confronts social taboos and asks if we are experiencing life as a mere spectacle and if we are strangers in our own world. Do we simply sit as a passive mass consuming what is fed to us through our television? Have we become an automised population controlled by our citizenship and which ever multi-national our faith belongs to? It’s time to stop being an interchangeable consumer, controlled by the multi-national co-operations, world leaders and puppeteering forces, which tell us what to buy, what to like and what to think. It’s time to think for yourself, consider what is behind the news bulletins, what is happening around the world and what is happening to you right now. There are many layers to the world, layers we don’t see, but it’s time to look beyond what we do.
The recent revelations regarding Prism and the spying on the personal details that has been going on a global level, relate to this conspiracy narrative. The UK’s population was very passive in finding out that their personal lives were being listened in on. It seems we are sleep walking into an authoritarian society which controls, records and dictates the moves of its people. This may sound like a strong statement but when you really stand back and look censorship, collection of personal data and vast cctv network covering Britain is something an outsider would should view as authoritarian.
“The every day experience of unimaginable social forces which constrain our reality” The Snowden case almost sounded made up, spies? But his actions show the depth of American’s reach over the world and their almost paranoia and need to control, which they call defense. The American people reacted much more to the news they were being listened to. Such groups as ‘Restore the Fourth’, which is explained in more detail, aimed to protect their constitution and remove surveillance from their home. This is pretty much a direct contrast with us. While the American’s rioted across 80 cities, we did nothing; there was even some protests in other European countries. The Guardian newspaper was one of the two papers to publish the Snowden leaks. The UK government acted and threaten legal action unless the Guardian destroyed the information. Where is the freedom of press? We are slowly having our liberty tugged from under our feet as we live in an ever tightening society and world, we must pay attention.
America is the
Eye in the sky
Due to this central server and backbone monitoring, many of the programs overlap and interrelate among one another. These programs are often done with the assistance of US entities such as the DOJ and the FBI, are sanctioned by US laws such as the FISA Amendments Act, and the necessary court orders for them are signed by the secret Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court. In addition to this, many of the NSA’s programs are directly aided by national and foreign intelligence services, Britain’s GCHQ and Australia’s DSD, as well as by large private telecommunications and internet corporations, such as Verizon, Telstra, Google and Facebook.
Despite Obama’s reassurances, however, social movements such as Restore the Fourth have arisen as a form of protest against mass surveillance. Domestic spying programmes in other countries such as France, the UK, and India have also been brought to light. On the legal front, the EFF joined a coalition of diverse groups filing lawsuits against the NSA. Several human rights organizations have urged the Obama administration not to persecute, but to protect “whistleblower Snowden”. These groups include Amnesty International, Human Rights Watch, Transparency International, and the Index on Censorship.
Snowden gave a cache of documents to two journalists: Glenn Greenwald and Laura Poitras, Greenwald later estimated that the cache contains 15,000 – 20,000 documents, some very large and very detailed, and some very small. In over two months of publications, it became clear that the NSA operates a complex web of spying programs which allow it to intercept internet and telephone conversations from over a billion users from dozens of countries around the world. Specific revelations have been made about China, the European Union, Latin America, Iran and Pakistan, and Australia and New Zealand, however the published documentation reveals that many of the programs indiscriminately collect bulk information directly from central servers and internet backbones, which almost invariably carry and reroute information from distant countries.
On 14 June 2013, the main source of these disclosures, Edward Snowden, was formally charged by U.S. federal prosecutors for violating the Espionage Act of 1917 due to his unauthorized communication and theft of government property. Several weeks later, Snowden, who subsequently fled to Russia via Hong Kong, was granted temporary asylum by the Russian government. This contributed to a deterioration of Russia–United States relations. On 6 August, President Obama made a public appearance on national television where he reiterated that “We don’t have a domestic spying program” and “There is no spying on Americans”.
Although disclosures of the general scope of the program were made in 2006, a series of articles attracted significant public attention on 6 June 2013, when documents made public by Edward Snowden were first published simultaneously by The Washington Post and The Guardian. These documents included operational details of the “scale of domestic surveillance”, according to journalist Glenn Greenwald. Several days later, President Obama reassured the American public that stringent controls placed by the United States Congress and the FISA Court have ensured that “nobody” is listening to the phone calls of U.S. citizens.
“complex web of spying programs which allow it to intercept internet and telephone conversations from over a billion users”
The 2013 mass surveillance disclosures revealed operational details of the U.S. National Security Agency (NSA) and its international partners’ mass surveillance of foreign nationals and U.S. citizens. Aside from its partnership with federal agencies, the NSA-led surveillance involves extensive cooperation with foreign governments and intelligence agencies of Australia, Canada, New Zealand, the United Kingdom and Germany, the latter classified in NSA documents as being both a partner and a target. Data collected in foreign countries by XKeyscore, for example, have landed directly on “President Obama’s desk”.
Restore The Fourth
Restore the Fourth originated on the social media website reddit a few days prior to the information leak by Edward Snowden, which detailed the US National Security Agency’s (NSA) mass surveillance programs, most notably PRISM. A subforum (known on reddit as a subreddit) dedicated to the movement was created, garnering over 15,000 subscribers in 2 weeks. From there, Restore the Fourth moved to Snoonet, an IRC network for reddit communities. Most organization prior to July 4, 2013 occurred there, where local organizers, national organizers, and users from the subreddit collaborated.
The first Restore the Fourth protest occurred on June 30, 2013, in Madison, Wisconsin, and subsequent Independence Day protests occurred on July 4 with more than 70 local rallies across all 50 U.S. states and Washington, D.C. On July 4, many protests hosted hundreds of attendees, and as many as 500 protesters attended the rallies in Washington, D.C. and 950 in New York City. In Munich, Germany, protesters gathered in front of the U.S. Consulate wearing Edward Snowden masks. Organizers estimated a national turnout of more than 10,000. The NSA addressed the protest in a statement, saying: “The Fourth of July reminds us as Americans of the freedoms and rights all citizens of our country are guaranteed by our Constitution. Among those is freedom of speech, often exercised in protests of various kinds. NSA does not object to any lawful, peaceful protest.” A second round of rallies were held on August 4 as 1984 Day, a date chosen in reference to George Orwell’s Nineteen EightyFour, corresponding to the American date style 8/4.
Since June 2013, mass protests against government surveillance have been reported in many parts of the world. In the United States, a political movement known as “Restore the Fourth” was formed and it gained momentum rapidly. In early July, Restore the Fourth was responsible for protests in more than 80 cities including Seattle, San Francisco, Denver, Chicago, Los Angeles and New York City. These protests were loosely coordinated via online messaging services and involved protestors from all over the United States. Towards the end of July, it was reported in the media that the German intelligence agency BND had been actively cooperating with the NSA, which sparked demonstrations in 40 German cities involving thousands of protestors all over the country
Yes We Scan
Statement July 30, 2013, 8:12 p.m. In August, Our Fight Against Unconstitutional Surveillance Follows Congress Home Last Wednesday, the House voted on an amendment proposed by Rep. Justin Amash of Michigan, that would have effectively ended the warrantless collection of phone metadata the NSA claims is allowed under the PATRIOT Act. The amendment lost by a narrow 12 vote margin, 205-217, and blurred party lines. This may seem like a defeat, but 205 is a much larger number than anyone was expecting. 134 Republicans voted ‘no’ and 94 voted ‘yes’. The Democrats had a slightly stronger showing, with only 83 voting ‘no’ and 111 voting ‘yes’. This is in sharp contrast to past votes relating to unconstitutional surveillance, like the 2011 vote to extend the PATRIOT Act, which passed 250-153 and which only 31 Republicans voted against the proposed amendment.
We got there thanks to all of you, who volunteered your time to clog your Representatives’ phone lines just before the vote and went online to make sure others did as well. Because of our work, restoring the Fourth Amendment is at the forefront of the national conversation. With a new poll showing that 56 percent of Americans think the government has overstepped its bounds in collecting personal data, and intense pressure on Washington from citizens of all political persuasions to rein in its surveillance programs, it may only be a matter of time until Congress successfully votes to put a halt on the NSA’s surveillance activities over the world.
One of Obama’s promotional slogans ‘yes we can change’, has be re-worked due to the recent leaks on the American government’s information collecting.
YES, WE SCAN
U O R Y L E I V B A E H R T E Y W
N O S E C R E T S W E A R E W AT H C I N G Y O U
N O F R E E D O M
? The UK
Now we look at the reaction in the UK. Many people in the UK shrugged it off, joked about it. There were no protests or mass outrage that the people in power had been spying on our personal lives, details and social interactions. America controls the sky. Fear of what America might do can make countries divert planes – all because Edward Snowden might be on one. Owning the sky has somehow got to me more than controlling the internet. Maybe sometimes we can only process what we can see – the actual sky, rather than invisible cyberspace in which data blips through fibre-optic cables. Thus the everyday internet remains opaque to all but geeks. And that’s where we’ve got it wrong. Our reaction to the Prism leaks was to make stupid jokes: Spies spy? Who knew? The fact that Snowden looked as if he came from central casting didn’t help. The involvement of Julian Assange, a cult leader who should be in Sweden instead of a cupboard in an embassy, also didn’t help the seriousness of the matter.
Or at least consumers. iTunes thinks we might like Bowie; Amazon thinks we want a compact tumble dryer. Really? Facebook seems to think we want to date people in uniform. We revel in the fact that the algorithms get it as wrong. But how did we come to accept that all this data gathered about me is just the way it is? Weren’t we once interested in civil liberties? Indeed, weren’t the Lib Dems? Didn’t freedom somehow incorporate the idea of individual privacy? When the state monitored all its citizens as though they were suspects – whether in East Germany or North Korea – we called it authoritarianism. Now we think it is what keeps us safe, safe from who? Cable told us that a recession could provide the preconditions for fascism. Gosh, that’s a bit strong. Then the recession hit and austerity became the narrative that subsumed all debates about freedom. No one poor is free, and it is no coincidence that the poor are the most snooped on of all. What Snowden, who is no spy, has revealed is the nature of the game: that surveillance is a huge private industry; that almost full control of the internet has been achieved already; that politicians here and in the US have totally acquiesced to industrial-scale snooping. There is a generation now made up of people who will never have had a private conversation online or by phone. These are our children. Should they or anyone else want to organise against the powers that be, they will be traceable. We have sleepwalked into this because liberty remains such an alien concept, still. But the US has the fourth amendment: “The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizure, shall not be violated.”
It has been violated. Bradley Manning is in prison, Guantánamo remains open, CIA agents who spoke out about waterboarding are banged up. And there are other kinds of whistleblowers who conveniently kill themselves. The letter from Daniel Somers, who served in Iraq, says he was made to do things he could not live with. He described his suicide as a mercy killing and reminded us that 22 veterans kill themselves everyday. This is not whistleblowing, it’s screaming into a void. But we remain passive while other European countries are angry at what Snowden has told us. We maintain the special relationship. For Snowden, the truth will not set him free, it will imprison him for ever. We now debate whether we should exchange liberty for security, but it is too late. As Christopher Dawson said: “As soon as men decide all means are permitted to fight an evil, then their good becomes indistinguishable from the evil they set out to destroy.” He could have been talking about our passivity.
What we failed to grasp, though, was quite how much we had already surrendered our liberty, not just personally but my political ideals about what liberty means. We simply took for granted that everyone can see everything and laughed at the idea that Obama will be looking at my pictures of a cat dressed as a lobster. We were was resigned to the fact that some random FBI merchant will wonder at the inane and profane nature of our drunken tweets.
Slowly but surely, The Lives of Others have become ours. CCTV cameras everywhere watch us, so we no longer watch out for each other. Public space is controlled. Of course, much CCTV footage is never seen and often useless. But we don’t need the panopticon once we have built one in our own minds. We are all suspects.
When did you surrender your freedom to communicate, something that was yours and yours alone, whether an email to a lover or a picture of your child? Ask yourself, do you feel safer now you know that you have no secrets? Now, the intimacies that are of no import to anyone but you have been subject to virtual extraordinary rendition. Because, fundamentally, your government does not trust you. Why therefore should you trust it?
Governme Destorys Files
The decision was taken after a threat of legal action by the government that could have stopped reporting on the extent of American and British government surveillance revealed by the documents, Snowden handed in. It resulted in one of the stranger episodes in the history of digital-age journalism. On Saturday 20 July, in a deserted basement of the Guardian’s King’s Cross offices, a senior editor and a Guardian computer expert used angle grinders and other tools to pulverise the hard drives and memory chips on which the encrypted files had been stored. As they worked they were watched by technicians from Government Communications Headquarters (GCHQ) who took notes and photographs, but who left empty-handed. The editor of the Guardian, Alan Rusbridger, had earlier informed government officials that other copies of the files existed outside the country and that the Guardian was neither the sole recipient nor steward of the files leaked by Snowden, a former National Security Agency (NSA) contractor. But the government insisted that the material be either destroyed or surrendered back to them. Twelve days after the destruction of the files the Guardian reported on US funding of GCHQ eavesdropping operations and published a portrait of working life in the British agency’s huge “doughnut” building in Cheltenham. Guardian US, based and edited in New York, has also continued to report on evidence of NSA co-operation with US telecommunications corporations to maximise the collection of data on internet and phone users around the world.
The British government has attempted to step up its pressure on journalists, with the detention in Heathrow on Sunday of David Miranda, the partner of Glenn Greenwald, who has led the Guardian’s US reporting on the files. Miranda was detained for nine hours under a section of legislation enacted in 2000 aimed at terrorists. The use of this measure – which applies only to airports and ports – meant the normal protection for suspects in the UK, including journalists, did not apply. The initial UK attempts to stop reporting on the files came two weeks after the publication of the first story based on Snowden’s leaks, about a secret US court order obliging the communications corporation Verizon to hand over data on its customers’ phone usage. This was followed by a story detailing how GCHQ was making use of data collected by the NSA’s internet monitoring programme, Prism.
Privacy is an ancient ideal, enjoyed by people in black and white newsreel. There is no turning back the progress of the pernicious snoop. Incidents of eavesdropping rise with the refresh button, each updated status is a newly rated security risk on a scale of one to ten. All we ask in return for our silence is the opportunity to buy evermore sophisticated devices to play with as we are played, we’ll give hundreds for you to haunt our blogs, carbon copy our digitised snapshots and store our gory details. We don’t mind being watched by the BeadyEye of Big Brother as long as we don’t seem boring. Or do we? Are we really so passive? The word on the street is that the streets are silent. Of course there are comments and outrage, but there are stifled by our British-ness. We seek silent confrontation, safe and in ratios that reflect the relative luxury we may lose. We are upset, some obsessed, obviously, but all protest is still-born or half baked, the unrest a seething dull ache. We take what we’re given and ask “please sir” for more.
Nobody want’s to be photographed twenty thousand times a day, unless we are sure we look like models. Nobody wanted ID cards, we fought bravely and won without even entering the debate. We let the politicians decide where, when and how. We let them take more of our money while offering less, we allow them to fuck up the economy, and then pay them to clear up the mess. We’re quite mad, eccentric and aimless, we search for joy in odd places, we linger in squalor, we sing for our supper and eat horses until we are content to eat rats. We even believe the lies they tell us, or laugh them off and pretend their our friends just because it agrees with their stats. We are gnats to their cockroaches. They’ll survive, thrive as we fall, and rather than put them all up against the wall, we allow them to watch as we scurry and serve, we get what we deserve, we are dopey and sleepy and all dwarves in between.
We are zeroes and ones on an LCD screen. We are the collected, contaminated, filled with fear by the bogeyman, It’s for our own good, there’s nobody who can protect us from bombers and baddies and by the way, you’re bugged. We’re mugged remotely, sold and sorted by demographics and age, the porn we enjoy and the unspent rage we subdue. Some believe this doesn’t happen to them. We are numbers on a spreadsheet, we have the world at our feet. Until the guys at GCHQ press ‘delete’.
In the meantime buy, consume, dance in line to their tune, sing the saccharine songs and eschew rock and roll, do no drugs, do as you’re told, buy apple, love Google, the windows to the soul are not eyes but ©Windows. Don’t search the skies, keep your eyes on your Smartphone, communicate at a distance, don’t talk, don’t think, just type every meaningless thought. We will keep you informed of what you need to know, who won the game, who reached the final, who we’ve manufactured you will be able to vote into the house. Davina will tell you who won the Election, Ant and Dec are the hosts for the referendum where votes are uncounted, vote Tory, vote Labour, vote for the system, vote with your eyes closed. Simon Cowell says so, vote and meet Beckham, vote or end up like Jade Goody. Vote or die, vote then buy, we will give you nectar points if you promise us loyalty, Say yes, wave goodbye; Consume or die.
The Revolution is Here (on twitter) This page shows tweets from the leader of Great Britain and replies to them.
PM : My heart goes out to David Frost’s family. He could be - and certainly was with me - both a friend and a fearsome interviewer. Replies : Shame he never had the chance to make you squirm by holding you accountable for your Nixon-style dishonesty and crookery. | Perhaps “My heart goes out” wasn’t the best choice of words. PM : A warm welcome to @Chief Rabbi Mirvis and my thanks to Lord Sacks for the special contribution he made to our country as #Chief Rabbi. Replies : You are shockingly out of touch. More chat to real people and fewer special advisers please. | You’re an empty powerless vessel, let someone else take the lead. | You’re weak, feeble & untrustworthy, call an election! PM : I understand and support Barack Obama’s position on #Syria. Replies : Can I suck you’re dick. | It’s coz you’ve both got the same lizard mother. PM : The NSC agreed unanimously that the use of chemical weapons by Assad was unacceptable - and the world should not stand by. Replies : Again you’re supposing it was Assad ahead of the conclusion of UN inspectors. This is your Iraq I do not approve. | So he did use them. Where’s the dossier? PM : We’ve always said we want the UN Security Council to live up to its responsibilities on Syria. Today they have an opportunity to do that. Replies : Whatever happens I guarantee you will bomb because USA tells you to!! #Syria @David Cameron ‘s Iraq! This isn’t going to end well, let UN decide! Don’t warmonger with Amerians! PM : Speaker agrees my request to recall Parliament on Thurs. There’ll be a clear Govt motion & vote on UK response to chemical weapons attacks. Replies : Blah blah blah. By more weapons off my lizardman friends. Bomb people. Make profit. YOLO. LOL. | Do you prefer ham or cheese sandwiches Dave lad? | Please drop dead, warmongering P.O.S. PM : The Olympic and World ‘double-double’ by @Mo_Farah is a truly extraordinary achievement - continuing another Great British summer of sport. Replies : Quit leeching off the successes of others. | Stop fingering Nick Clegg’s bum hole and sort this shit hole of a country out you cunt. | I’ve just cartwheeled to the fridge for my Friday wine. How d’you like them apples, Dave? PM : More schools, more choice and better education - I’m delighted 93 new free schools are opening this month. Replies : You’re a absolute horror, I’ll be delighted when you’re voted out you asshole. | No choice at all for non-religious parents forced to subsidise zealots. | If they’ve just opened isn’t it a little premature to say “better”? Won’t time be the judge of that? | Destroying lives,left right and center, disgusting bunch. PM : My article on the 67th anniversary of Indian Independence on the front page of Asian Lite. Replies : Do some fucking work. | Shut the fuck up. PM : Still a lot to do - but it’s encouraging to see unemployment falling again. This Govt helped create more than a million private sector jobs. Replies : Long term unemployment rises again - what’s your answer on that? Zero-hours contracts shouldn’t count. | But how many of those were transferred from the public sector? PM : With @janeellisonmp at @ BDCH - Claire Horton and her team do an amazing job with cats and dogs in London. Replies : Shiny faced lizard jizzworm. | I hope you trip over a dog and break your leg and then the dog pisses on you and also the dog will be unharmed. | Is legal throw concrete in spanish waters? | That dog looks so delighted to be in your presence. PM : The 1000th volunteer at Battersea Dogs and Cats Home, James Moore, showing me Bertie the dog. They do a great job. Replies : What a wanker! | What are you doing to that do? Stop it you awful man. | Fuck you @David_Cameron you do not represent us. PM : I believe the whole country should get behind fracking - providing cheap energy and jobs across the UK. You can read why in @Telegraph. Replies : Frack off PM : Thank you for your note @stephenfry. I share your deep concern about the abuse of gay people in Russia. Replies : What about your abuse of honest Taxpayers in UK Mr Cameron? | Shame you don’t share the same level of concern for disabled UK citizens victimised by #Atos & let down by benefit reforms. PM : Amazing (climbing) facilities at Wigan Youth Zone - leading the way in building confidence and aspiration in young people. Replies : Climb to the top. Jump. | Fuck off back to London you pisswizard. | In contrast, your government’s policies have done the most to destroy young people’s confidence and aspiration. PM : At @crownpaints with @JakeBerryMP - seeing how they do so much to boost the economy in Rossendale and Darwen. Replies : What’s your hand in your pocket doing, Dave? You minx. | You’re all bad | @David_Cameron I think @stephenfry’s letter demanded more attention this morning before Crown Paints. PM : Visiting @thisisglobal. Questions from classic albums (Dark Side of the Moon), to helping hardworking people. Replies : You don’t help hardworking people you fucking liar. | Is your favourite DSOTM track “Money”, by any chance? Or “Us and Them”, as an anthem for your electoral tactics? PM : I’ve been telling @BBCBreakfast some social media websites need to show more responsibility regarding trolling. Replies : Instead of sending int’l aid money, couldn’t we send more engineers, builders etc, create more jobs, skills in UK economy? | Yes, we’ve noticed you are keen to promote web censorship. | Could you also explain sending billions to others at a time when we’re apparently in such financial dire straits please? PM : Talking to Conservatives in Hazel Grove with their candidate William Wragg. He’ll be a great MP in 2015. Replies : The modern Tory party there - a great diverse mix of people - oh hang on... | 2015, when you lose miserably, primarily because of the Great Fracking Riots of 2014. PM : It’s been great to visit the Jamia Mosque in Manchester with @SayeedaWarsi, preparing for @TheBigIftar. #Ramadan. Replies : Stop patronising them Dave. We all know you don’t give a shit. We all know! | Just like Mandela, his hero. Who he said should hang all those years ago. PM : There’s still more to do, but I’m proud of what we’re delivering (Statments about tax and welfare) Replies : “rewards work” and “punishes the unemployed” aren’t synonymous. | You have no reason to be proud, these statements are misleading in the extreme and you know it. | Work Program failing, ATOS leading to suicides and massive appeal costs (fail) Working families proved much worse off. PM : Join me in Manchester for this year’s Party Conference where we’ll plot the road to victory in 2015 together. Replies : For ‘victory’ see ‘world domination’ | No chance. PM : Today’s economic growth figures are encouraging. We are on the right track - building an economy for hardworking people. Replies : Why do you assume that most of the 2.5m out of work (including over 1m teenagers) aren’t, given the opportunity, hardworking? | You add insult to the injury of the many made redundant who, due to the current climate, have been unable to find a new job. | What about 900,000 hard working people who are unemployed? They won’t have 3 holidays this summer you foppish twat! PM : I’m delighted for the Duke and Duchess now their son has been born. The whole country will celebrate. They’ll make wonderful parents. Replies : I made a little brown fish. | Hopefully they won’t leave it in the pub. PM : Join the campaign to protect our children online, and read the speech I’m about to deliver. Replies : Who will protect the children from homelessness and starvation caused by your policies? | How about protecting the 1 in 3 children who are growing up in poverty? | At what age did you start watching porn, Prime Minister? PM : I’ll be talking to @BBCWomansHour and @theJeremyVine this morning about protecting children from online pornography. Replies : Why not just be a better parent and use your own filtering system? Why not protect your children from the tobacco industry? | How about creating jobs? Jobs that you can live on. | Porn, porn, porn. You’re obsessed man, it’s Monday morning for Christ’s sake. | it’s okay, @David_Cameron, soon enough, austerity & library cuts means children won’t have internet access. PM : A brilliant win by @chrisfroome. After two British winners it’s only right the Tour de France comes to Yorkshire next year. Replies : In order to inspire people to get on their bikes and find work, I assume. | Is that the same Yorkshire that has two #NHS Trusts on their knees & 1,000 less nurses because of your government? PM : Meeting with the Jones and Sharp families + hearing their fears about online child abuse images. Replies : Child abuse images aren’t something you accidentally stumble upon when browsing the web. | Any chance you could do something about the economy first? PM : Geoff Boycott giving me some batting tips after my @bbctms interview at Lord’s. Replies : Looks more like he’s punching himself in the wang to avoid having to listen to you whining on instead of fucking working! | I’m guessing you just talked balls. PM : Looking forward to meeting @aggerscricket with new world record holder @26hrcricketnet on @bbctms at lunchtime. Replies : How can you spend all this time on cricket?! Don’t you have an NHS to ruin? | No one cares. Just actually do something good for country. PM : Crime down more than 10% under this government. We are determined to make Britain’s streets safer. Replies : and emptier looking at most high streets I walk around | That’s because we all shop online now. | Of course, I keep forgetting we’re on an upturn, all in it together and living in paradise. PM : Encouraging news with unemployment falling by 57000. Replies : How encouraged are you by the rise in long term unemployment? | Here comes Dave, stealing my tweets an hour later. RT @David_Cameron: Encouraging news with unemployment falling by 57000. | I swear, if he had an original thought, his head would explode. PM : I’m about to meet Burmese President Thein Sein - we’ll be discussing political and economic reform in Burma. Replies : I’m about to do a poo in the disabled toilet at work but you don’t hear me bragging about it, do you? | Are you sure it’s really him and not a pretend president? | What a pity. Economics to your government seem to mean cutting it, splitting it up and selling it off. PM : We’re rolling out a cap on Benefits today - @IDS_MP and I are determined to make work pay, and help the UK compete on the #GlobalRace. Replies : Should be sorting out employment for new graduates, I’ve done a degree in something I can’t get work in. | Is there any evidence that this will help employment? PM : Join #Team2015 and be part of the campaign to win a Conservative majority. 2000 members already. Replies : I’d rather blow my brains out. PM : I’m looking forward to welcoming #Wimbledon Champion @Andy_Murray to No10 this afternoon. Everyone here is excited to meet him. Replies : Ooh that sounds exciting! Hope you have fun. Ps. I read of another guy losing his home today because of your policies. | Ask people of #Britain who visit the food banks this week if their in high spirits as someone won a fortune for playing Tennis? | And I’m excited to see you leave 10 Downing Street. PM : Shanah Tovah! Replies : Is that lizardspeak? Are you calling Lord Cthulhu from the waves? Is this about fukushima? Lizard scum! PM : A superb result for the British and Irish #Lions. Hoping @Andy_Murray can make it the perfect sporting weekend. Replies : Hope a real lion messes up all your papers and shits on your keyboard. | Bet you’ve got wimbledon tickets, you elitist nob. | You mean: “Here’s hoping for any distraction from this clusterfuck of a government. Preferably with photo-op.” PM : Referendum Bill passes first Commons stage, bringing us one step closer to giving the British people a say on Europe. Replies : Do you believe in parliamentary sovereignty? And can you explain how your bill is compatible with it?. PM : I’ve been in Kazakhstan, meeting President Nazarbayev and opening the Bolashak oil refinery. Replies : Did you see The J-Lo concert? | That’s nice dear, put on a warm coat. We don’t want you to catch a cold. | Great success, David.