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The Spy drew up and struck a chord Whilst looking round to find the stew. The King said, ‘Who the hell are you?’ The Agent gave a discreet cough At which his false moustache fell off. ‘Spies!’ shrieked the King, ‘off with his head.’ ‘It’s alopecia, Sire.’ he said. Suspecting him, they asked to see Some proof of his identity. He said that he was Hamlet’s Ghost, Which blew it at the starting post.  They penetrated his disguise. They found the padding down his flies – Paper, which bore the crumpled look Of pages from a ciphers book. They dragged him off; they cut his throat; They threw his body in the moat, Within whose waters that same day The slimming pills dissolved away. Not knowing this, the King just said, ‘Now wind the damn thing down instead!’ There came the day, at half past eight, King Bad gazed at his breakfast plate On which reposed a rainbow trout Enquiring, ‘What’s all this about? This fish does not look well at all’ It is so thin it’s skeletal.’ The Seneschal, behind his chair, Agreed it was a trifle spare. ‘Spare’ the King thundered, ‘spare you say; It’s almost wasted right away.’ The Chef said it was hardly fat, Remarking they were all like that. The Water Bailiff in his turn, From whom they sought the truth to learn, Reported all the rainbow trout Would very soon be dead no doubt, For each one had a spectral look, Like something out of Ravensbrucke.  They asked the Doctor to find out What causes loss of weight in trout? They had a doctor, it is true

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A PAIR OF KINGS  

Medieval hegemony and bread making for the under fives

A PAIR OF KINGS  

Medieval hegemony and bread making for the under fives

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