• GIG HARBOR / KEY PENINSULA EDITION • TM
F R E E
A PERFECT GIFT for the Holidays! Convert your films & videos to DVD!
Call Dan at Towey Productions, LLC
Volume 4, Number 9
November 30, 2009
Gig Harbor, WA
Only In America!
Hot Rod Recliner: The police department in Proctor, Minnesota, has auctioned off a motorized recliner after it was seized in a drunk driving incident. The one of a kind black leather lounge chair, built on a riding lawn mower chassis, was equipped with stereo, headlights, a nitrous oxide power boost system, drag racing-style steering wheel, parachute and (of course) cupholders.
from a bar. Anderson told police the only reason he hit the car was because a girl jumped up on the chair.
“We cannot confirm or deny the story,” Police Chief Walter Wobig said, “the bottom line is it doesn’t get him off driving while intoxicated.” Anderson had a blood alcohol level of 0.29, more than three times the legal limit. And it was not his first DUI. Minnesota law allows police to seize vehicles in drunk driving cases and either retain them for official use or sell them once a conviction is obtained.
253-906-8395 / 857-4766 Your Trusted Advisor
FeatureD ProPerty oF the Week:
In Town Classic Cape Cod • Harbor / Sound View • Quintessential Harbor House
A Lady’s & Gentleman’s Choice
It was seized in August, 2008 after the The high bidder on eBay paid $10,099.99 owner, Dennis Anderson, smashed it for the chair, which, unfortunately, is into a parked car while driving home not street legal.
Any purchase of $15 or more Valid thru Dec. 24th
The Priceless Ingredient The Trouble Tree: The carpenter I hired to help restore an old farmhouse had just finished a rough first day on the job. A flat tire made him lose an hour of work, his electric saw quit, and now his ancient pickup truck refused to start.
in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching tips of the As I drove him home, he sat in stoic si- branches with both lence. When we arrived, he invited me hands. Then, on opening the door, he underwent an amazing transformation. His tanned face broke When is it bad luck to meet a white into a broad smile as he hugged his small – answer on back page children and kissed his wife. cat?
Riddle Me This
All contents 2009 Harbor Times Developments LLC. Mailing address: 4614 Cedarwood Lane NW, Gig Harbor, WA 98335 • Sales: Susan Brooks • Phone: (253) 514-6290 • Fax: (253) 276-6328 • Email: firstname.lastname@example.org. Printed on recycled paper with soy ink.
Later, as he walked me to the car, we passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier. “Oh, that’s my trouble tree,” he replied, “I know I can’t help having troubles on – cont’d on back page
New & Consigned merchandise available • Gowns for those Holiday Parties • Gift Certificates Available Perfect Stocking Stuffer!
“Peace” “on Earth”
7706 Pioneer Way Gig Harbor, WA 253-853-1830 • Nov thru Dec 24th!! Mon-Sat 8 am-6 pm • New Arrivals Daily!
email – email@example.com website – aladysandgentlemanschoice.vpweb.com
Cost Less Prescriptions Lowest Prescription prices In Washington! Located on SR 302 Lake Kathryn Village 253-857-7797 RX 253-857-7944 Retail
Barter Corner As a free service, Take A Break presents this list of businesses willing to barter for goods and services: • David Bailey, Cannon Host, Web Site Design & hosting, www.cannonhost.com. • Bernadette, Your Home is Where Your Heart Is, 307-4345. • Don Powell, Tacoma Printing Co., 221-2444. • Chris, Horseshoe Lake Auto Wrecking, 253-8573866. • Kendra Machen, Childbirth Classes / Birth Doula, www.toothlessgrin.com, 360-874-1689. • Dr. Dustin Lewis, Lewis Family Chiropractic & Wellness, 253-858-9783. • Dan Towey, Towey Productions, Transfer Pictures & Film to DVD, 253-906-8395. • Brian Lewis, Scratch Master, Car Scratch & Dent Removal, www.thescratchmaster.com. • Susan Cowperthwaite, Cartridge World, 253-5820300. • NarrowsPro, Holiday Light Installs, 253-314-6460. • Nancy Kent Photography, 360-271-6412. www. myspace.com/tackylady1. • Nita Garnier, Yankee Clipper Barber Shop, 253509-2882. • Dan The Mobile Mechanic, 253-861-0748. • Susan, Licensed Officiant, Weddings, Vow Renewals, Ceremonies, 253-509-4584. • Robert Emerson, IT & PC Specialist and Computer Recycler, 253-853-5649. • Frank, Extreme Vinyl & Signs, Banners, Magnetics Signs, 253-377-0979. • Ali Fathi, Auto Waune, Auto Repair, 253-8589373. • Maria Fuentes, #1 in Housekeeping, (253) 2738486. • DPI Print, Pat Schmidt, 253-853-3622.
Email firstname.lastname@example.org to put your name here.
David Rommel Construction
• • • • •
Log Homes Remodels Fences Decks Excavation
• Hauling • Home Inspections • Licensed, Bonded, and Insured
253-224-7859 Contractor # DAVIDRC934L8 Protect Your Investment!
Sprinkler $ Winterizing
Now That’s Funny!
With apologies to the ladies in ad- 1. Name four presidents who survived vance, here’s thirty reasons why it’s an assassination attempt. great to be a guy: 2. What is the one breed of dog that 1. Your last name stays put. does not bark? 2. The garage is all yours. 3. What are thought by some to be 3. Wedding plans take care of themthe smartest and dumbest breeds of selves. dogs? 4. Chocolate is just another snack. 4. A Blue Whale’s mouth is large enough 5. You can never be pregnant. to hold up to 90 metric tons of food 6. Car mechanics tell you the truth. and water. How big is its throat? 7. The world is your urinal. 8. You don’t have to stop and think of 5. Which land animal has the most teeth? which way to turn a nut on a bolt. 9. Wrinkles add character. 6. What is the heaviest breed of dog? 10. Wedding dress: $5000. Tux rental: 7. How many popcorn kernels are there $100. in one cup? a) 500, b) 800 c) 1,600. 11. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this 8. How many sides does a snow flake have? one is just ‘too icky’. – answers on back page 12. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. 13. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet. Enlisting 14. Phone conversations are over in 30 1 2 3 4 seconds flat. 5 6 15. You know stuff about tanks. 16. Three-pack of underwear: $8.95. 7 8 17. A five-day vacation requires only 9 one suitcase. 10 18. You can open all your own jars. 11 12 13 14 19. You get extra credit for the slightest 15 16 act of thoughtfulness. 20. Three pairs of shoes are more than 17 18 19 enough. 20 21. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. 21 22 22. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. (c)2009 Harbor Times LLC 23. You only have to shave your face Thank you to those who serve and and neck. their families! 24. You can play with toys all your life. ACROSS DOWN 1 Spud duty 2 Needed for leave 25. Your belly usually hides your big 3 Purpose of leave 4 Illegally absent hips. 7 "Yonder" in 5 Synchronized 26. One wallet and one pair of shoes anthem walk 9 Accompanies 6 Marching practice one color for all seasons. salute 8 Field disguise 27. You can wear shorts no matter how 10 KFC founder 11 Command your legs look. 11 Swear 12 Duty duration 28. You can do your nails with a pocket13 Lowest rank 14 Abrams is one officer 15 Fearless knife. 17 On the double 16 Highest enlisted 29. You have freedom of choice con18 Not specific (abbr) rank cerning growing a moustache. 20 Necessities 19 "Aweigh" in 21 Flat cloth hat anthem 30. You can do Christmas shopping for 22 "Rolling" in twenty-five relatives on December anthem 24th in forty-five minutes.
Holidays & Fun Days
Dec 4-5, 11-13: Peninsula High School presents “A Christmas Carol”, 7 pm Dec 4, 5, 11, 12; 3 pm Dec 5 & 13. Admission $7, $5 seniors, military, under 12 & students w/ASB. Dec 3: City of Gig Harbor hosts “Bill Branson - 5 Steps to Finding Your Perfect Job,” 6:30-8:30 pm, Gig Harbor Civic Center, 3510 Grandview St, 253857-4842. Dec 5: Gig Harbor High School’s Annual Tidefest Arts Fair, 10 am-5 pm, 5101 Rosedale Street, Gig Harbor. Dec 5: Gig Harbor Holiday Tree Lighting, 5 pm, Skansie Brothers Park, 3207 Harborview Drive, 253-857-4842. Dec 6: Fox Island Annual Tree Lighting and Wickline Music Concert, 6 pm, 690 9th Ave, Fox Island, 253-549-2701.
Dec 1: Day With(out) Art Day, World AIDS day. Dec 2: Special Education Day. Dec 3: Day of Disabled Persons. Dec 4: National Dice Day. Dec 5: Bathtub Party Day. Dec. 6: National Pawnbrokers Day. Dec 7: National Cotton Candy Day.
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down “Violence” as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with violence.
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Rules, Each row, column & cube must contain the numbers 0-9 only once. Good Luck! Answer on back page.
©2009 Harbor Times Developments, LLC
THAT’S JACK’D UP
by Tim Brooks
in partnership with purdywa.com
7D6I ;G:H= H:6;DD9 Mon-Fri 11:00-6:00 Sat 10:30-6:00 Sun 11:00-6:00
Purdy Shopping Center: Next to NAPA
253-225-3730 Week In History
For Orders Call,
Dec 1, 1922: First skywriting over US, “Hello USA”, performed by Captain Turner, Royal Air Force. Dec 2, 1927: First Model A Fords sold for $385. Dec 3, 1967: First human heart transplant performed (Dr Christiaan Barnard, South Africa). Dec 4, 1962: US performs nuclear test at Nevada Test Site. Dec 4, 1893: First electric car (built in Toronto) could go 15 miles between charges. Dec 6, 1973: Gerald Ford sworn-in as first unelected Vice-President, replacing Spiro T. Agnew. Dec 7, 1945: Microwave oven patented. Loving God, Loving People A Non-Denominational Church Family
At the mall, Black Friday was interrupted by labor unrest.
To our readers, We can’t guarantee the authenticity of every story we print. It is possible some may even be socalled “urban legends”. Nevertheless, we cheerfully present them to you for your enjoyment and entertainment.
Sundays at 10 AM
Harbor Ridge Middle School
9010 Prentice Ave NW Gig Harbor For more details visit www.1stlovechurch.com
Chuck Norris eats the core of an apple first. Chuck Norris once bowled 300. Without a ball. He wasn’t even in a bowling alley. Chuck Norris was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined saying, “Only a sissy would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelery.”
;DG:8ADHJG:H BUY RIGHT Buy Bank-Owned!
If you are in the market to purchase a home
Banks are offering Financing • Wide variety of Properties • Fixers to Move-In Ready Starting as low as $73,900
MIKE RANKIN, Broker
Specializing in Bank Owned Properties
Redneck ‘Rithmetic A woodcutter’s chain saw operates at 2700 rpm. The density of pine trees to be harvested in a 2.3 acre plot is 470 per acre. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will it take to cut the trees? Hint: there is no right answer. It’s a joke.
If you type “find Chuck Norris” in a Google search, Google will tell you that you don’t find Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris finds you. (Try it!)
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Classified ads only $10.00 email email@example.com
the job, but one thing’s for sure, troubles don’t belong in the house with my wife and the children. So I just hang them up on the tree every night when I come home. Then in the morning I pick them up again. Funny thing is,” he smiled, “when I come out in the morning to pick ‘em up, there ain’t nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before.”
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The Mobile Mechanic: Will come to you 24x7! No job too big or small. Diagnostics available. Licensed, reliable, efficient. References. For estimate call Dan 253-861-0748.
Priceless Ingredient (cont’d from page 1)
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Narrowspro.com – Roof Cleaning, Gutter Cleaning, Gutter Guards with 25 year guarantee. Fences 10% off when you mention Take-a-Break. Call 253-314-6460.
HOLIDAY BAZAAR & SCHOLARSHIP FUNDRAISER – Dec 4 & 5, 9 am - 5 pm, Gig Harbor Eagles #2809, 4425 Burnham Dr. Tables available! Call (253) 851-2809.
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COOKIE LEE Fine Fashion Jewelry. “I bring the Bling, you get the Cha-Ching.” $5 off your purchase of $25+ or $10 off $50 thru 12/31/09. www.cookielee.biz/CandeeWilley 253-241-8560
Closet Artist Bazaar Sale Dec 5th, 9 am-4 pm Gig Harbor Methodist Church. Donations to colon cancer research at u-dub. For more info Sherice 253-973-2266
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Helping Hands In Home Services Non medical care services: Drive to & from appointments, meal prep, medication reminders, etc. Bonded/Insured. Call 253-606-8386.
Advertise your Bazaar or Craft Event for only $10. Email sales@harbortimes. org or phone (253) 514-6290 for details.
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DPI Print located in Gig Harbor offers custom photo holiday cards and photo frames. 25% off your first print order! Call 253-853-3622.
Bazaar & Craft Sales
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Math problems? Expert help available ;-) Call Ziegfried at 1-800-[(10x)(13i)2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].
A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it. – Proverbs 31:10-11, The Message
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Holiday Home Organizing Special: Purchase any package, get an extra hour free! www.spacesstreamlined.com for details & free newsletter or Debra 253-468-8134.
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Bedrock Septic AND Soils Clearing & Installations in Pierce, Kitsap, Mason and Snohomish 253-324-3044 A Division of www.hendersonpartners.us
R D R F I L L T A U N K
BABYSITTER AVAILABLE Gig Harbor senior ready to help! Call Sarah 253-514-6120.
AVON CHRISTMAS BOUTIQUE by Sonnia. Giftables, Beauty, Personal, Decor, Wellness. 25%-50% off. Free Samples. IPOD Shuffle Drawing. 3820 70th Ave NW, Gig Harbor 265-2866 or 380-0506.
A N D R W O R C E L A M O S G E N I T A V A R M Y
TOP BRUSH CHIMNEY SWEEPS & REPAIRS, We also clean roofs and gutters. Free Estimates. Licensed, bonded and insured. Call Chris 253-564-2588.
Pet Remembrance Tree Dec 5-30. Honor your pet with a light & picture on Christmas Tree. Location: Posh Paw, Uptown Mall. Forms: www.gigharborkiwanis.com / Library / 253-857-8212. Sponsor: Gig Harbor Kiwanis.
Health & Dental/Mortgage ProtectionLife: The coverage you need can still be affordable. Easy, quick quotes: firstname.lastname@example.org or call Blue Water Benefits (253) 884-3297.
Advertise your event here for only $10. Email sales@harbortimes. org or phone (253) 514-6290 for details.
Answers K P A M S A I S I R C O T H O B U R R A V E R E
Need a Hand? Student strapped for cash Will do most any job. Call Tim 253-514-6120.
Entertainment & Events
O A R D E R B
Riddle Answer: When you are a mouse! Trivia Answers: (1)Jackson,T. Roosevelt, F. Roosevelt, Truman, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, G.H.W. Bush, Clinton, and G.W. Bush. (2) The African Basenji. (3) Smartest: Border collie. Dumbest: Afghan hound. (4) Despite the size of its mouth, a Blue Whale cannot swallow an object wider than a beach ball! (5) The armadillo has 104 teeth. (6) St. Bernard. (7) 1,600! That’s a lot of POPPING! (8) All snowflakes have six sides, and no two are exactly alike. Bonus: Can you spot the bogus ad in this week’s Take A Break?
WANTED: Used Bicycles
to give to children in the Gig Harbor /KPN community. Bikes are reconditioned through a partnership with the Washington Correction Center for Women. For information, please call:
Kiwanis Club of Peninsula-Gig Harbor (253) 265-3150