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The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

S h a r i n g N e w E x p e r i e n c e s w i t h M o n t g o m e r y, P r a t t v i l l e a n d We t u m p k a FEBRUARY 2011 O FREE

Win Fab Four Tickets! page 17

Intimacy After Fifty This & That O 12 Things O Healthy Hearing O Support Groups O Heart Attack Symptoms & More!

Thanks to my hospital. Stan Godwin l Jackson Hospital Heart Center Patient

When 47-year-old Stan Godwin underwent heart valve surgery, his routine two-hour procedure encountered unexpected challenges an expanding diaphragm and a collapsed lung. But through the swift actions of the doctors and staff of the Jackson Hospital Heart Center and a short stay in the ICU, Stan made a full recovery. Today, he maintains a healthy, active lifestyle, eats right, and is the proud owner of a new mechanical heart valve. Living well at any age means having a strong heart. So let Jackson Hospital take care of yours.


for Boomers and Beyond

Cardiac rehab—Getting back on track Stan Godwin is the father you see on the sidelines or in the bleachers cheering his child’s team to victory. A talented architect and a founding partner of Godwin Jones Architecture in Montgomery, Godwin is an all-around family man, and never suspected the ordeal he would go through when having a relatively simple procedure to repair a heart valve. Godwin had mitral valve prolapse that was being monitored by his heart physician and good friend, Steven Kwan, MD. During a routine reading from an electrocardiogram, commonly known as an EKG, Dr. Kwan saw indicators that something wasn’t right. One of the valves in his heart was as thin as tissue, and would need to be replaced with a mechanical valve. During surgery, Godwin’s diaphragm expanded to the point of collapsing a lung, causing complications. His chest was left open for 24 hours, and he spent seven days in the Intensive Care Unit at Jackson Hospital. “I have no recollection of those days spent in ICU, but my wife speaks often of the care I received,” says Godwin. “It was beyond adequate, and I wouldn’t have let anyone but Dr. Kwan operate on me.” After recovery, Godwin maintains a fairly strict regimen of diet and exercise. He avoids caffeine and takes Coumadin, an anticoagulant that helps reduce clots from forming in the blood, regularly.

TAKE CONTROL There are certain risk factors for heart disease that can’t be avoided, such as being over age 65, male, African American or having a family history of heart disease. But, according to the American Heart Association, there are three basic lifestyle choices that will help you defend against heart disease. Avoid tobacco. If you smoke, it’s

Steve Scoggins of Opelika, AL, was just in the right place at the right time. A pastor at Opelika Baptist Church, he spends many hours a week visiting with members of his congregation who are hospitalized, but rarely drives to Montgomery to make his rounds. It was a true blessing that when he went into severe cardiac arrest, he was in a restroom at the hospital, and was found by a custodian. He had no trace of a heartbeat, and was shocked back to life by the fastworking medical staff. John Williams, MD, rushed him into surgery. “I spent two days in the Intensive Care Unit, and was hospitalized for thirteen days,” says Scoggins. “I truly believe that God is in the center of even the smallest areas of life’s details, and I believe I wouldn’t have made it if I hadn’t been at Jackson.” “I continue to use Dr. Williams today, and make the drive from Opelika for regular check-ups,” says Scoggins. “God wanted me here for a reason.”

time to quit. If there’s a smoker in your home, it’s time to help him or her quit. Smoking doubles your risk of developing heart disease. Exercise regularly. Any exercise is better than none, and just 30 minutes a day on most days of the week will help lower your risk. Studies show that people with moderate fitness levels are much less likely to die early from heart problems than those with poor fitness levels.

Eat healthfully. The foods we eat can contribute to high cholesterol, high blood pressure, diabetes and weight gain—all major risk factors for heart disease. Build your diet around vegetables, fruits and whole grains, and cut back on salt. If you already have heart disease or haven’t exercised in a while, speak to your doctor about creating a diet and exercise plan that’s best for you.

Source: American Heart Association, National Institutes of Health

BOOM!, The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine


February 2011

“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.”

Volume I Issue 7

Carl Bard

Thought Humor Relationships Taste Health Inspiration Advice

6 11

“To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am.” Bernard M. Baruch

Publisher’s Letter FOCUS: Local Authors

Eddie Phillips & Daphne Simpkins

12 How to Keep Your Grandkids Off Drugs 14 Grandfamilies

New Term on the Rise

page 28


19 Symptoms of Heart Attack!

10 Fear of Intimacy? How to improve the value of intimacy

20 Keeping it Alive

Tips to make your relationship intimate

26 What Women

Over 50 Crave

Something interesting, even for you!

19 Consignment Sales 21 What is Quigong? 22 Healthy Hearing

Departments 8 This and That

16 Tips on Starting a Business

Are You at Risk For Hearing Loss?

28 12 Things

Plenty to do for Boomers

30 Support Groups

A Little Help From Your Friends

27 BOOM! Advertising Rates

page 24

page 17 page 9 BOOM! magazine is published monthly by River Region Publications, 8637 Harvest Ridge Dr., Montgomery, AL 36116. The phone number for voice and fax is 334. 396.3073. Copyright 2011 by River Region Publications. No part of this publication can be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. Opinions expressed in BOOM! magazine are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the view of the owners, nor do they constitute an endorsement of products and services herein.


February 2011

The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

Find Hope Make a differenCe reDiscover your faiTh wiTh The frazer family. Dr. Tim Thompson, senior minisTer TradiTional & ConTemporary Worship 8:00, 9:30 & 11:00

m a i n C a m p u s : 6 0 0 0 aT l a n Ta h i g h Way 3 3 4 . 2 7 2 . 8 6 2 2 asbury Campus: 4540 narroW lane road 334-281-8971 The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

February 2011

BOOM! | r i ve r reg i o n b o o m . co m


publisher’s letter

Intimacy Isn’t Easy The mission of BOOM! is to serve the folks of the River Region age 50 plus with information and ideas to inspire new experiences, better quality of life and new beginnings.

My late wife, Marty, was my best friend. From 1966 until the day she died, 40 years later, she remained my best friend. Even during the rough patches of our marriage, we seemed to always share an intimacy or closeness that only she and I knew. On reflection, it was probably the intimacy we shared that sustained our love all those years.

Publisher/Editor Jim Watson

Associate Editor Kelly Watson

Contributing Writers

Jim Watson, Publisher

Patricia Anstett By Joel Block

As I reviewed the editorial content for this month’s issue I could see that intimacy isn’t easy to come by. It takes effort and a willingness to be very honest with someone you care deeply about. More importantly, you have to become vulnerable, exposing yourself to hurt and disappointment. It’s a risk many of us aren’t willing to take. So, in turn, we get less intimacy and maybe less fulfilling relationships. Based on my limited experience, intimacy is the secret ingredient to my next happy relationship. If you want to add some more of it to your relationship, we’ve got some suggestions and tips you may find helpful…I sure did. I’ll let you know if they work!

Dr. Bettie Borton

Laura Broadwell Laura Meade Jen Mulson Jilly Prather Jason Rase

Cover Photography

Maria Wiggins, Reflections of Grace


Jim Watson, 334.324.3472

Design & Layout Lake House Graphics


Network Delivery


Publications Press, Montgomery, AL 334.244.0436

The dictionary defines an intimate relationship as one that is close, familiar and usually affectionate. We had all those ingredients and they made everything else in our relationship better. For me, once you’ve had that closeness or intimacy with someone, you kind of expect it to be with the next someone. Not true.

Since its women’s heart week, we listed a few symptoms you do not want to ignore when it comes to heart attacks. We’ve also included the new guidelines for stroke prevention. I know you are all getting ready to catch some beads and trinkets at the 6th Annual Mardi Gras Parade put on by the Millbrook Revelers. This will be the highlight of the month for many of your grandchildren because they all love to yell out, “Hey Mister, throw me something.” As some of you already know, The Montgomery Performing Arts Centre is bringing in a concert called The Fab Four on March 19th and the L.A. Times called it the “Best Beatles Show in the World!” It’s a tribute show to one of the greatest bands ever and it should be a great night. We’re giving away 4 tickets to someone so they can put together their own “Fab Four of Friends” and make it a very special evening. Check it out on page 17 and enter to win as many times as you want. Hopefully, we’ll see some of you down at the Montgomery Pinot Noir Festival on February 23 to taste some top notch pinot from Oregon, as well as a few other wine treats. You can get the tickets at Ted the Wine Guy & Co. on Zelda Road.

Finally, I appreciate the many positive comments I’ve received about BOOM!, from both advertisers and readers. Thanks for your support. Please share BOOM! with your friends and have a great fun filled February!

Jim 334.324.3472 cell/text

Do You Advertise? Re-Think Your Maketing Strategy With BOOM!

Please Recycle This Magazine, Share with a Friend!


February 2011

The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

Reputation. Experience. Success.


Celebrating more than 60 years of hearing healthcare service.


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February 2011




This & tHAT

Get Your Grandkids and Create a Memory

Alabama Dance Theatre Presents “The Little Mermaid” & More! The Alabama Dance Theatre presents its 24th annual Spring Concert featuring a premiere of “The Little Mermaid.” Join the Alabama Dance Theatre “under the sea” as this magical fairy tale comes to life on stage. Performances will be held on Friday, March 4th at 7:30 p.m. and Saturday, March 5th at 3:00 p.m., and Sunday, March 6th at 3:00 p.m. at the Montgomery Performing Arts Centre at the Renaissance Hotel downtown Montgomery. Performance tickets are $12-$25. For information call 334-241-2800 or visit Tickets may be purchased at the Montgomery Performing Arts Centre Box Office 334-481-5100 or at

Jackson Hospital implements use of Secure and Effective Electronic Health Records (EHR)

photograph by David Robertson, Jr.

My Medicine List

Can you name all of the medications you are taking? Do you know what doses you are taking and what the medicine is for? “My Medicine List™” can help you keep track of everything you take to keep you healthy, including pills, vitamins, and herbs. Having a list of all your medicines in one place also helps your doctor, pharmacist, hospital, or other healthcare workers take better care of you. Check it out,

Jackson Hospital continues to be a healthcare technology leader and is among the most advanced providers in the River Region and nationwide. “We began the process of implementing a comprehensive EHR in 2005, recognizing the need to improve the coordination and safety of patient care,” said Don Henderson, Jackson Hospital president and CEO. “We’re now among some of the nation’s top hospitals nationwide in EHR adoption [based on national adoption models from the Healthcare Information and Management Systems Society (HIMSS)].” “Recognizing that the iPad is one of the most user friendly technologies emerging in recent times, we have enabled the use of this tool with our EHR and other applications,” offered Richard Caldwell, Jackson Hospital chief information officer and vice president for professional services. “We already had secure wireless access in place, so adding support for the iPad made perfect sense.” Indeed physicians are now able to view medical records and radiographic images on their iPad wirelessly within the hospital or remotely. Other Jackson Hospital staff can also access their hospital Outlook email, calendars, and contacts via an iPad or smart phone. “The coordination of a patient’s health record is a major advance in the safety and efficiency of care, Henderson stated. “Jackson Hospital will continue to make these technological advances to help improve the health of our community.”

AUM Chancellor John Veres Recognized Nationally for Support of Nonprofits John Veres, chancellor of Auburn University at Montgomery, has become the first university leader recognized at the national level for his support of nonprofit organizations by the Nonprofit Leadership Alliance. He has been awarded the inaugural H. Roe Bartle Presidential Leadership Award for his exceptional leadership and support of nonprofit management education at AUM and his dedication to community service in the Montgomery area. “Dr. Veres exemplifies dedication and leadership to the community, nonprofits, Auburn Montgomery and, most importantly, our students,” said Tink Lucy-Bouler, executive director of the AUM chapter of the Nonprofit Leadership Alliance.


February 2011

The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

TRASH Breast Cancer...Together We CAN! Looking for a unique way to show your support for the Joy to Life Foundation? How about a 96-gallon Joy to Life pink trash can? Make a statement on trash day! Simply place your pink cart (trash can) at the street for service and the City of Montgomery will collect it on your normal pick-up days! You can also choose to keep your City issued green cart as well, however, to avoid an extra $16/month fee, you can only place ONE container at the curb for service at a time. Currently service for the carts is only available to residents within the City of Montgomery, however, Joy to Life is working to expand this program state-wide. Each Joy to Life pink cart order will require a minimum donation of $75 (includes delivery). When you order online, you should receive an order confirmation from Paypal. If you order by mail, please make a copy of your order form and check prior to mailing to have as confirmation. Make sure to include your email address so that Joy to Life can notify you when your pink cart arrives. To order go to

MARDI GRAS IN MILLBROOK 2011 The Krewe Millbrook Revelers will sponsor their sixth annual Mardi Gras family oriented parade February 26, 2011, at 12:00 noon on Main St. in Millbrook, Al. Vendors will be offering food, Mardi Gras related items, arts and crafts and other goodies at the Village Green Park beginning at 9:00 am. Live entertainment begins at approximately 9:00 am on the Village Green Stage and continues throughout the day. This year there will be two stages and lots more vendors. Everyone in the River Region is encouraged to come out and spend the day with your family at the Mardi Gras Festival and of course at 12:00 noon line the Main Street parade route to catch various “throws” as the “Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler,” (let the good times roll) themed parade rolls from Mill Creek Ball Park to City Hall. Individuals or clubs interested in entering a unit/float may contact Art @ 285-6847. Vendors contact Ken @ 285-3838. Application forms are also available at Millbrook Revelers website This is as always, a family oriented event so come bring your family and experience this fun, festive event. It is free and open to the public, so mark your calendars and plan to participate rain or shine. Remind the children that the phrase for the day will be “Hey Mister, throw me something!”

The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

If you are 50 or older, Get screened for colorectal cancer Find colorectal cancer early by getting one of these procedures: • High-sensitivity gFOBT, iFOBT, or FIT annually • Flexible Sigmoidoscopy every 5 years • Colonoscopy every 10 years Do you want to be screened but are worried about: • Transportation • Cost • Time Colorectal Cancer Prevention Program. Colorectal cancer is the 2nd leading cancer killer in Alabama. Ask your doctor about screening options for colorectal cancer, including the new take-home test called FIT or iFOBT. (If you are at high risk for colorectal cancer, you may need to be screened more frequently.) Alabama Department of Public Health The FIT is an easy way to be tested for colorectal cancer: • No need to change eating habits • No need to change medications • No liquids to drink • No day off work • Done in privacy of your home • Mail back in a few days This test is covered by Medicare, Medicaid, and many health insurance plans. Also, Blue Cross Blue Shield of Alabama approves this test. Be healthy and Celebrate your life! For more information: Talk to your doctor, Email, Or visit Try the app that knows there’s more to dinner than just a recipe! Nearly 850 complete meal ideas A grocery list for every recipe Step-by-step instructions, Kitchen timers to keep you on track, How-to videos from Real Simple food editors. Download No Time to Cook? for Android™, iPad®, or iPhone® now! r i ve r reg i o n b o o m . co m

February 2011



Support Local Authors

The Other Side of Montgomery: Growing Up White in the Birthplace of the Civil Rights Movement In the 1950s and ’60s, Montgomery, Alabama, was ground zero for many of the major events central to the civil rights movement in this country. Yet there was also a gentler side of the city that is rarely revealed within the pages of history texts. This book takes a thought-provoking, even-handed look at those days from the perspective of a typical white kid growing up in Montgomery during that era. The end result is a greater appreciation for those times, along with a clearer insight into the city’s unique and colorful past. Eddie Phillips

The author recalls with fondness the casual neighborliness that existed within his community, the freedom that children enjoyed to roam and play, and the slower pace of life that prevailed. He recalls the popular hangouts for older teens and the legendary “Big Bam Shows” of the period.

Because he was a star athlete at Goodwyn Junior High and then at Lee High School, the author also opens a window into the years when sports competition at Montgomery’s white high schools was at its peak, when state football championships were decided at Cramton Bowl before as many as 25,000 cheering fans. “The world was changing rapidly, but still it was such a simpler, more innocent time to grow up. How fortunate I was to have come along during that era,” he writes. Purchase this book and other local authors at Capitol Book and News Company, Located in Montgomery’s beautiful Old Cloverdale, 1140 E. Fairview Avenue. Phone: 334.265.1473

Miss Budge in Love: The Short Adventures of Mildred Budge Miss Budge in Love: The Short Adventures of Mildred Budge by Daphne Simpkins is a collection of short stories featuring the title character - a retired schoolteacher - and her churchgoing colleagues, which demonstrates the type of panache and humor that can only be found in Southern church women.

About the Author: Daphne Simpkins has written about life in the South for a variety of periodicals, most often The Chicago Tribune. She has authored two previous books, The Long Good Night (Eerdmans, 2003) and Nat King Cole: An Unforgettable Life of Music (Junebug Books, 2002). An Alabama native, Simpkins teaches at Auburn University Montgomery and is an active member of the Alabama Humanities Foundation Road Scholars Speakers Bureau.

Miss Budge is the least glamorous of her group of Sunday school friends, the self-styled Bereans, but her steady wisdom comes in handy as she and her friends face the struggles of everyday life and the prospect of getting older. In these slice-of-life stories inspired by the author's interactions with her own close-knit group, Miss Budge finds herself in humorous situations as well as grappling with faith-driven questions. In each, the wit and wisdom of this unique Southern lady carries the day. "What our readers love about Miss Budge is that they all know her personally," says Brett Alan Dewing of The Christian Courier. "In fact, they all are her in one way or another. Daphne's stories are instantly recognizable to those in a church community, and that's where the real humor and pathos comes from. Daphne is a keen observer of the strange and wonderful subculture of 'the church lady.'" The collection includes 23 stories featuring Miss Budge - 19 previously published in various periodicals including the Christian Courier and Evangel - as well as four new stories written for this collection.

Clarice James, editor of Churchmouse Publications, says, "Mildred Budge gives readers a smile and a chuckle with her funny quirks and honest thoughts. Meeting Miss Budge has been a lovely adventure!" Miss Budge in Love: The Short Adventures of Mildred Budge is available for sale online at and other channels.

10 BOOM!

February 2011

The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

r i ve r reg i o n b o o m . co m

February 2011



How to Keep Your Grandkids Off Drugs By Laura Broadwell

1. Educate yourself. The use of “street” drugs may be declining among young people, but marijuana and cocaine are far from the only risks kids face. Increasingly, children as young as 12 have turned to prescription drugs to get high. They can readily find these drugs in many home medicine cabinets (including yours) or buy them through online pharmacies. The Partnership for a Drug-Free America reports that one in five teens has abused a prescription pain medication, such as Vicodin, and one in ten has abused a prescription stimulant, such as Ritalin. Teens have also abused over-the-counter medications, such as cough medicines with the ingredient DXM (commonly found in Robitussin).

The tween and teen years can be tumultuous for many kids. As they become more interested in spending time with friends, and less interested in sharing their thoughts with parents or grandparents, it’s only natural to worry if they might be experimenting with drugs or alcohol. You may want to say something to them _ to warn them of the dangers of drugs, or to urge them to resist peer pressure _ but if they’re maintaining their distance, it can seem hard to approach them.

Don’t let that stop you. By many accounts, parents and grandparents are gaining ground in the battle to keep kids off drugs. In recent years, the use of marijuana and other illegal “street” drugs has fallen slightly among teens, according to research funded by The National Institute on Drug Abuse. And a new survey conducted for The Partnership for a Drug-Free America shows that children are half as likely to become involved with drugs and alcohol if they learn about the risks from their parents and other caring adults.

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February 2011

In other words, even if your grandkids aren’t talking, they’re listening. Here are five steps for delivering your drug-free message to them:

“Huffing,” or attempting to get high by inhaling household products such as air freshener, nail polish remover, spray paint, and glue, also continues to be a risk for kids. According to a recent report by The Partnership for a Drug-Free America, one in five children will abuse such inhalants by the eighth grade.

The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

You’ll gain credibility with your grandchildren if you know as much about what’s out there as they do, so before you sit down to talk with them, learn all you can about the most recent trends and facts. The following groups’ websites can help you: The Partnership for a Drug-Free America; The National Institute on Drug Abuse; Parents: The AntiDrug; and, for information on inhalants, The Alliance for Consumer Education. 2. Start early. Tweens and teens often fall into drug addiction because they’re unaware of the dangers. For example, they may think that prescription drugs aren’t nearly as harmful as marijuana or cocaine, says Tom Hedrick, senior communications officer at The Partnership for a Drug-Free America. Or they may be totally unaware of the addictive, sometimes lethal effects of inhalants. That’s why Hedrick believes it’s important to start educating kids about all types of drugs before they enter middle school. If your grandkids are in their last year of elementary school and no one has sat them down to talk about drugs, it’s time. 3. Look for “teachable” moments. One way to begin a discussion with young people is to bring up an incident that occurred in their community or in the news. For

example, you might talk about a local highschool student who was expelled for taking drugs, or about a celebrity or athlete who entered rehab because of an addiction. “Ask your grandchild, ‘What do you think about this situation?’ and listen closely for his answer,” says clinical psychologist Lisa Boesky of San Diego, the author of “When to Worry: How to Tell If Your Teen Needs Help _ and What to Do About It” (Amacom, 2007). As you talk, explain what you know about the health and safety risks associated with drug use, and express your opinions clearly. “Tell your grandchild that you would be disappointed if he took drugs because you love him so much,” Boesky says, “and explain how drugs can get in the way of his personal, athletic, or academic goals.” 4. Don’t stop talking. Continue your conversations about drugs throughout the preteen and teen years. Check in with your grandchildren in middle school, by asking in a calm, nonjudgmental way, “Do you know anybody who has taken drugs?” or, “Has anyone ever offered you drugs? What would you do if someone did?” Take the opportunity to help your grandchild come up with his or her own strategies for resisting peer pressure _ and ultimately saying no to drugs _ while still fitting in with friends,

Boesky says. In high school, you might ask some of the same questions, while being especially attentive to any rough patches in your grandchild’s life, either personally or within their immediate family. Teens may be more susceptible to experimenting with drugs during emotionally difficult times, Hedrick says.

5. Never underestimate your influence. In February 2002, Janna Zuber’s 16-year-old son, Justin, died from inhaling air freshener. Today the mother of five and grandmother of two in Mitchellville, Md., has become an advocate for inhalant awareness. “So often, children _ even good kids _ think they’re invincible, and try drugs out of curiosity,” Zuber says. “They don’t know about the real risks, because no one told them.” Grandparents can and should can step up and play an important role by educating their grandchildren about drugs, being there for kids during tough times, and always keeping the lines of communication open.

(c) 2011, Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services.

One hundred fifty years ago in

Montgomery, Alabama a store owner with a secret, a slave guided by love, a fiery politician, and a divided family took sides and took a stand.

Their story is your story.

W o r l d P r e m i e r e Pl ay S b aS e d o n r e a l Pe o Pl e a n d e v e n tS .

By Elyzabeth Gregory Wilder

Feb. 4 – March 19

By Jeffry L. Chastang

Feb. 18 – March 20

Al AbAm A ShAk eSpe Are FeStivAl

montgomery, Alabama 1.800.841.4273

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Save the Date! Southern WriterS’ Project FeStival oF neW PlayS May 13-15 r i ve r reg i o n b o o m . co m

February 2011



Grandfamilies: A new term on the rise

By Jilly Prather

Today’s definition of “family” has been changing drastically in recent years with the advent of a new kind of family unit. Due to various reasons _ such as parents having drug problems, the rise of divorce, an economy that has put millions out of work, and single moms who can no longer raise their own children _ we now have a growing generation of grandparents who find themselves in the trenches of raising young grandchildren. This new phenomenon of parents depending on the grandparents to finish raising their children is also called “the skipped generation.”

As a grandparent, I once dreamed about my children leaving home to embark upon creating their own lives as independent people, having a home of their own, good jobs, and grandchildren for me to spoil and send home. Retirement was something I looked forward to, with travel plans and the freedom I felt I deserved after decades of raising my kids. One evening a few months ago, I received a call from the police department asking if I could go pick up my 14-year-old granddaughter for an indefinite period. Of course I went quickly, as Sherry (not her real name) and I had a strong bond. I had always told her to call me if she ever needed me for any reason. I scooped her up in my arms and promised her that everything would be okay now _ she was now with Grammy. I did what any other loving grandmother would do. When the grandchildren need to be saved from dangerous situations and they have no other adult to turn to, grandparents take over to provide the safety and love the child desperately lacks but needs in order to become a good adult.

In 2008, census statistics show that 6.6 million children lived with their grandparents. Of those children, 4.4 million lived

14 BOOM!

February 2011

in the home of a grandparent without any help or interaction from their parents (U.S. Census Bureau 2009). Those numbers are staggering and continue to increase yearly. Older adults who once looked forward to growing a new nest of opportunities and goals now find themselves in the midst of having to start over again raising children. Many of these seniors live on a fixed income based on social security, disability or limited retirement funds that make suddenly having another child to support very difficult. In the 2008 census, the government reported that 482,000 grandparents lived below the poverty level before they became responsible for caring for grandchildren (U.S. Census Bureau 2009).

Even if half of the more than 4 million children living with grandparents were transferred into the foster system, it would overwhelm the federal foster system at over $6.5 billion a year. This would add millions more children to a system already taxed with more than half a million cases throughout the country (Federal Interagency Forum 2009). Now the child welfare system is looking to grandparents to fill the gap.

Getting custody of a grandchild often takes from several months to years to obtain. Government resources available to grandparents are limited. The federal welfare system offers Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) and there is sometimes help available from the state foster care departments, but most people tend to shy away from these resources because they are afraid of the intrusiveness of the caseworkers and that, if one little thing is not right, the grandchild might be taken away into the juvenile court system. My granddaughter, Sherry, approached me one day, wanting to go shopping for new jewelry. I explained to her that funds were short right now until custody was

resolved. I felt bad because she had just been through a major crisis within her home, and as teenagers go, money to her seemed to grow on trees. I was pleasantly surprised when she answered, “Grammy, it’s OK. I understand. I’m safe now, and that’s all that really matters.” Kids are more resilient and often more wise than we give them credit for.

Our generation was raised with strong family attachments and values. We did our best with our children and, in hindsight, can now see areas where we probably could have improved. But that is true for every single parent on the planet. We teach our children well and then must step back and allow them to make their own choices, good or bad. Sometimes that means having to pick up the pieces of their broken puzzle. For the sake of the grandchildren, we must step in and once again take the high road and provide the safety net our own children cannot manage to give their offspring. I once heard a very wise man say that if money is your only problem, then you do not have much of a problem. Sherry is grateful that her grandparents love her enough to take her in _ love her to pieces, in fact _ and are committed to keeping her safe. I think that when all is said and done in this crazy world, she is right. My mother used to tell me stories about her father being out of work and how they were so poor, she used tar paper to line her holey shoes. When they were evicted from house after house, the aunts and uncles got together and offered their home, food and warmth to my mother’s family. It was what families did in those days. Our society has become so transient and irresponsible that the nuclear family model and tradition seems lost. While we wait for a custody decision, we’ve made up a new budget that considers our grandchild and her needs as best we can for now. But providing our love and looking out for her safety and well-being knows no limits and needs no accounting. There will always be plenty of that to go around. (c) 2011, Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune News Service.

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. m a x e r o t c o d . y l d r i a c e a y c i e l l o u f d e h h t i c √ S vita mins w e shoes. t u y c u r B o √ shopping f √ Go y diapers. . Bu M ax to vet Take

You are busy...

You have a household to maintain, kids to taxi, and appointments to make. Put your health on your to-do list! Do the little things today for a healthy life tomorrow.

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It’s all about me. a healthy

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February 2011



Is 2011 the Year You Start a New Business?

Expert Reveals Tips for Launching Your Start-up Right

Cynthia Kocialski loves start-up companies. “I love start-ups and all the wonderful gizmos and gadgets they make,” said Kocialski, a veteran of three start-ups and author of Startup from the Ground Up ( “The problem is that most of these wonderful things never make it because the entrepreneur is in love with the technology, and they lack an understanding of the technology business. It’s one thing to develop a new gadget or piece of software that does something cool, but entrepreneurs need to ask themselves if it actually solves a problem. Cool doesn’t sell. Meeting the needs of consumers and businesses does.” Kocialski’s experiences have led her to create a series of tips for anyone considering launching or financing a start-up company. These tips include:

• It’s Not About the Product -- Start-ups are not about the technology or product. The product is the heart of the company, but the product no more makes a company than a heart makes a human being. There are many components to a company that all have to work together harmoniously in order to achieve a success outcome. • Don’t Be Afraid to Discover -- The early stage start-up process is a discovery process, not a step-by-step execution process. Many first-time entrepreneurs believe you come up with a great product idea, then they come up with a detailed business plan, and finally they hire the people to execute the steps in the plan. Discovery is simply a starting point from which the product and business with evolve, iterate, and be refined as the concept meets the customers, the market, and the investors. • Retool and Revise -- The first product idea is never the final product that makes the company famous. In reality, the worst work you will ever do is the first work you do. Press forward past the first iteration, and make use of the lessons you learn along the way. • Build Your Team - You need a team, but not just any team. You need the right team for that stage of a company’s life. You wouldn’t hire a college professor to teach kindergarten. For that, you need to find early elementary teachers. Ditto for start-ups. Find the right people for the right job, as well as the right attitude and stage of their careers to make them a match for working with a start-up. • Think Like an Investor -- Investors know and accept that investing in a start-up is a very high-risk proposition. If investors wanted a moderate return, they’d invest in publicly traded bellwether companies like IBM and Coca-Cola. What entrepreneurs don’t get is that, to an investor, the company itself is THEIR product. Entrepreneurs need to understand the investor’s perspective. Entrepreneurs engage in the deliberate creation of their end-user product, but what they also need to do is engage in the deliberate creation of the company. Investors buy into companies, not end-user products. For an investor, the best case scenario is a tested, proven business with a market that is poised to expand and grow rapidly. “The spirit of American business is embodied in the start-up,” Kocialski added. “Innovation and guts are the foundation of the start-up, and those qualities also happen to be characteristic of the most successful mega-firms ever to hit the market. Let those qualities form the dynamic of your start-up and you’ll be off to a good start.” About Cynthia Kocialski

Cynthia Kocialski is the founder of three companies – two fabless semiconductor and one software company. Currently, she is a consultant for start-up companies. What makes her unique is that she has experienced many start-ups see them from the inside out, including the day-to-day trials and tribulations, not just the milestones and status presented to passive investors and outsiders. In the past 15 years, she has been involved in dozens of start-ups and has served on various advisory boards. These companies have collectively returned billions of dollars to investors. She also writes the popular Start-up Entrepreneurs’ Blog and has written many articles on emerging technologies.

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February 2011

The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

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February 2011



7 symptoms you should never ignore!

By Patricia Anstett

The current statistics on heart disease are as sobering as ever. Consider: ~Heart disease ranks as the number one cause of death in the US. ~Almost one-third of women have some form of heart disease, and most don’t realize it. ~Half of the men who die suddenly from heart disease had no prior symptoms.

Heart attack symptoms aren’t unisex. “What we think of as characteristic heart attack pain, like an elephant sitting on your chest, is much more likely to occur in men than in women,” says Dr. Marianne Legato, director of the Partnership for Gender-Specific Medicine at Columbia University. In fact, 43 percent of women having a coronary don’t experience any chest discomfort at all. Women also wait longer to go to the ER than men do (their top reason for hesitating: They don’t want to bother anyone). But that can be fatal: Your odds of surviving improve by 23 percent if you get treatment within 3 hours and 50 percent within 1 hour. Don’t be a cardiac cautionary tale. If you have any of these warning signs, act fast. As Legato says: “It’s better to be embarrassed than dead.” ~ FATIGUE: In the weeks before an attack, 71 percent of women have flulike symptoms. Days before, you may feel too tired to lift your laptop. ~ NON-CHEST PAIN: Rather than an explosion in your chest, you may feel less-severe pain in your upper back, shoulders, neck or jaw. ~ SWEATING: You may find yourself suddenly drenched in perspiration for no apparent reason, and your face may be pale or ashen. ~ NAUSEA OR DIZZINESS: During an attack, women often vomit or feel like they’re going to pass out. ~ BREATHLESSNESS: Almost 58 percent of women report panting or inability to carry on a conversation. ~ SLEEPLESSNESS: In the month before a coronary, nearly half of women have trouble sleeping. ~ ANXIETY: “Many women experience a sense of impending doom or fear before a heart attack,” says Legato. “That’s your body telling you to pay attention. Trust those instincts.” (c) 2010, Prevention magazine. Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services.

NEW stroke prevention guidelines

People who smoke, have diabetes or high blood pressure and cholesterol, the four biggest causes of stroke, have new guidelines emphasizing salt restriction, regular exercise and weight control. The guidelines, coauthored by Dr. Seemant Chaturvedi, director of the stroke program at the Wayne State University School of Medicine and the Detroit Medical Center, are the first published since 1986. A summary was published in December on the website of the journal Stroke. Chaturvedi said the new recommendations are comprehensive and include advice for obstetrician/gynecologists, including warnings that oral contraceptives may be harmful for women who have additional risk factors for stroke. The recommendations call for: ~Reduced salt intake, to 1,500 milligrams a day, and increased potassium intake to lower blood pressure. ~Adoption of a diet known as DASH _ Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension _ that emphasizes consumption of fruits, vegetables and low-fat dairy products and reduction of saturated fats. ~At least 150 minutes a week of moderate physical exercise or 75 minutes a week of rigorous aerobic activity. ~Smoking cessation and limitation of exposure to secondhand smoke. ~Reduction of obesity. ~No more than two alcoholic drinks a day for men and one for women. The limits are different because many women are smaller than men or react to alcohol differently, Chaturvedi said. Chaturvedi said people with irregular heartbeats should talk to their doctors about taking blood thinners. Stroke is the third-leading cause of death in the U.S. More than three of every four strokes are first-time events. To read a summary of the guidelines, go to (c) 2011, Detroit Free Press. Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services.

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February 2011

The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

Consignment Sales Children’s Clothing Exchange (CCE) Old Bruno’s building off Vaughn Rd., Montgomery Sat. Feb. 5th 9am-6pm through Friday Feb. 11th 1/2 off days Sat. Feb. 12th 9am-6pm through Monday Feb 14th (This particular sale also sells second hand women’s clothing and accessories at the same time) Kids Carousel Old Sam’s building on Eastern Bypass, Montgomery Sat. Feb.5th 9am-6pm through Feb. 9th 1/2 off days Monday, February 7th 9am-6pm through Friday Feb. 11th 75% off Saturday, February 12th 9am3pm

My Kids Attic Eastbrook Shopping Center Coliseum Blvd., Montgomery Saturday, February 12th 9:00 am - 6:00 pm through Tuesday, Feb. 15th 1/2 days Wednesday, February 16th 9:00 am - 6:00 pm through Saturday Feb. 19th

Women of Hope Breast Cancer Support Group,

You are invited to a “Southern Tea Party”. Dress is OPTIONAL, but you may choose to wear hats and gloves and join us for “tea” and fellowship! Please bring a guest with you! Tuesday, February 8th, 5:30 Frazer United Methodist Church, Room 8114, 6000 Atlanta Highway, Montgomery AL.

“We Shall Overcome” presented by Magnolia Brown

Enjoy fun and fellowship with your breast cancer “sisters” and friends! For information please call 334-220-4599 or email

Our goal is to make sure that all women AND men are educated about breast cancer and the effects it has on family and friends. Hope is the assurance that one day we will be able to live cancer free! Your support is greatly appreciated and helps so many deserving breast cancer patients and survivors including their families. Women of Hope Breast Cancer Support Group meets the 2nd Tuesday of each month (Jan-Nov). Meetings are held at 5:30 p.m.

Doodlebugs Wetumpka Saturday, March 5 8:00 - 4:00 pm through Thursday, March 10th 9-6 1/2 Days Friday, March 11 9:00 - 6:00 pm and Saturday, March 12 8:00 - 4:00 pm Mom’s Marketplace Hwy 82 West, Prattville Saturday, February 26th 9am-5pm

Sunday, February 27th noon-5pm Monday, February 28th - Friday, March 4th 9am-6pm Saturday, March 5th 8am-5pm Sunday, March 6th noon-5pm 1/2 off day March 5th 8am-5pm

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February 2011



The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

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February 2011

The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

What is Qigong? Qigong to your health. The Chinese healing practice is thousands of years old, yet you might be more familiar with its younger cousin, Tai Chi. The latter is more martial-arts focused and flowing, whereas Qigong moves from exercise to exercise in a stop-and-go way.

It is pronounced “chee gong,” and can be translated into energy movement. Qi is energy, known to yoga practitioners as prana or life force. The gong is the movement of it. Qigong focuses on the body’s Qi and opening the meridians, which are pathways in the body along which this energy flows. Qigong moves that energy through any stagnant places in the body. Dennis Hiser and his wife, Renee Bailey, lead a Qigong class near Manitou Springs, Colo. I showed up on a recent Saturday morning with only the general notion that we’d probably move slowly and mindfully.

As it turns out, that is one of the intents of the practice. Hiser doesn’t consider Qigong to be an exercise class, but to be a work in healing, mindfulness and stress management. He views the movement as a way to limber the body and use it in ways that we don’t normally do every day, which leads to greater health and immunity.

Hiser is a supervisor at Goodwill Industries, overseeing 120 disabled clients. He has incorporated Qigong into their monthly activities. His passion is working with those with physical ailments and helping them to overcome the illness mindset of being defeated by their incapacitated state. He encourages them to not allow their disease or ailment to take them, but to take charge of their illness and take the healing back into their own hands. Qigong gets them moving and breathing, and can be less physically challenging than yoga or Pilates. The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

By Jen Mulson

Qigong is not only good for illness, but for those with life struggles, he said. He’s seen high-risk youths thrive in one-on-one sessions. He also notes the benefits for those with weight issues. We began our class with Qi walking. Barefoot, we were instructed to slowly walk around the studio, feeling the entire foot roll onto the floor. Heel, arch, ball of foot, toes. As we did this mindful walking, we were to think happy thoughts.

He then taught us the breath work, showing us to hold our hands, palms face up, near our low belly, and inhale to a count of three as we lifted them toward our face. Then we flipped our palms over and exhaled to a count of three, pressing the air to the ground. A few minutes of slow walking combined with breath awareness led to a pleasing state of calm. Much as in yoga, the breath crucial to the movement, to energizing and oxygenating the blood and replenishing the organs, Hiser said. There are thousands of Qigong exercises, but Hiser teaches the eight Brocade for Health. Brocade can be considered a series. We did eight exercises with varying repetitions. Hiser is careful to modulate the number of reps, taking into account the health of those he is leading. The practice is intended to build health and energy, not to push an ill body even further away from health. He praises Qigong for its ability to work with anybody.

The exercises were done standing, but can be easily modified into seated positions, he said. As the hour ticked by, we sat into a horse stance and moved our arms up and down slowly and

twisted side to side, moving the Qi. The forward-and-back and up-and-down movements are intended to direct the flow and circulation of Qi along the 12 meridian lines of the body.

In specific exercises, we worked on strengthening our lungs, spleen, stomach, kidneys, heart and brain. We learned an exercise to help release anger. It involved taking a wide, bentkneed horse stance, elbows into sides and then punching one fist slowly out at a time, adding a personalized vocal sound to the outward movement.

After the eight Brocade, Bailey took over and taught Shaolin Massage, a lovely, nurturing way to end class. We started from the top of our body and gave ourselves a head massage. Our ears were next, where a plethora of acupuncture points reside. We rubbed and squeezed the insides and outsides of the lobes, then moved to our eyes, our sinuses and jawline. We pounded lightly on our kidneys with our fists and then turned our torsos left and right, allowing our arms to swing out, fists lightly hitting the same organs. Throughout class, Hiser spoke eloquently about the pace of our current culture. It resonated with me and might with you, too.

“Slow down. Don’t just go from point A to point B. Stop in-between and reflect on it,” he said. “Don’t waste the journey.” _ Jennifer Mulson teaches vinyasa yoga at Corepower Yoga and Gold’s Gym in Colorado Springs, Colo. (c) 2011, The Gazette (Colorado Springs, Colo.). Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services.

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February 2011



Healthy Hearing

by Dr. Bettie Borton Au.D.

The Hearing Aid Tax Credit – Not Moving at the Speed of Sound As a member of the American Academy of Audiology Board of Directors, the “big picture” with regard to hearing healthcare is one of my primary focus areas. With all the talk about the new Dr. Bettie Borton Au. D. healthcare plan currently being debated in the Senate, you may be wondering what is the status of the Hearing Aid Tax Credit Act? Unfortunately, it is not part of the current healthcare reform legislation and it has been moving through the House and the Senate at a snail’s pace. There are some differences between the House of Representatives and the Senate bills: the House one (H.R. 1646) calls for provision of a tax credit towards the purchase of each hearing aid of up to $500 per device, available once every five years. It would be available to people age 55 and over, or those purchasing a hearing aid for a dependent. This bill excludes coverage for people earning over $200,000 a year. The Senate bill (S. 1019) would provide the same $500 credit but cover all age groups.

Although similar bills are introduced on the Hill every year, they never get very far. However, since August 2009, the bill has reached the threshold of 100 bipartisan co-sponsors (66 Democrats and 34 Republicans), so there is every reason to be optimistic that it will finally be passed. This hope is shared by leading healthcare and advocacy organizations, including Better Hearing Institute (BHI), the Hearing Loss Association of America, the American Academy of Audiology, the American Speech-Language Hearing Association and the AARP, among others. Why should you care about the passage of the Hearing Tax Credit legislation? Well, for one thing, hearing loss is one of the most common conditions affecting older Americans. As Better Hearing Institute, points out that: • 3 in 10 people over age 60 have hearing loss

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• 1 in 6 baby boomers (ages 41-59) have a hearing problem • 1 in 14 Generation Xers (ages 29-40) already have hearing loss

• At least 1.4 million children (18 or younger) have hearing problems; it is estimated that 3 in 1,000 infants are born with severe to profound hearing loss. In fact, hearing loss is the most common of birth defects, occurring more frequently than, for example, Down Syndrome. While sensorineural hearing loss can’t be “cured”, studies have conclusively shown that hearing technology, such as hearing aids, not only helps users hear better, but, at the same time, it vastly improves the overall quality of their lives by allowing them to participate in conversations and social activities, as well as reducing isolation, getting better compliance with medical concerns, and a host of other advantages. By the same token, those who do not wear hearing aids are at an increased risk of loneliness, isolation and depression. For children, untreated hearing loss means that their language and social skills development will be delayed and / or diminished. Any way you look at it, hearing aids are necessary for quality of life, safety, and skill development for many Americans, young and old. Unfortunately, for far too many people with hearing loss they remain out of reach.

Millions of people need hearing devices, but don’t get them, and a large part of the problem is the cost. There are currently an estimated 36 million Americans with some degree of hearing loss. Yet, according to BHI, only nine million actually wear hearing aids. Of those who do not, many cite the high cost of assistive technology for not getting treatment; in fact, two out of three adults with hearing loss say financial constraints are the main reason they do not use hearing aids. The cost of hearing aids – ranging from $1,000 to 4,000 per hearing aid - is not covered by either Medicare or most private insurers, making it too expensive for many people. But a survey carried out by BHI

demonstrates that 10 million of the 27 million Americans with untreated hearing loss would likely buy hearing aids if tax credits were available. That’s why it is crucial that the Hearing Aid Tax Credit Act does not languish on the Hill much longer. Make your voice heard! Congressmen do listen to their constituents, so it is critical that you write your representatives urging them to support this legislation.

For optimum effect, Doctors Hearing Clinic and BHI recommend that you personalize your letter, sharing the story of why the hearing aid tax credit is important to you and your family. For example, you may mention that your elderly parents are on fixed income and can’t afford the full price of hearing aids. Or, you are struggling financially and can’t pay for your child’s devices.

Alternatively, BHI offers online forms so you can type your message to your Congressperson directly, and Doctors Hearing Clinic provides copies of written directives to take further action. Additionally, three states – New York, North Dakota and Montana – are currently debating hearing aid tax laws similar to the federal ones. Consider asking our state representatives to entertain such legislation. The more feedback and comments your representative receives, the better a chance of him or her sitting up and listening. For more information about this very important legislation, visit www.hearingaidtaxcredit. org, or call the professionals at Doctors Hearing Clinic. If we work together on this issue, we will all benefit! To learn more, visit or call for an evaluation at (334) 396-1635. Dr. Bettie B. Borton is a licensed audiologist in Alabama, was the first board certified audiologist in Montgomery, and recently served as National Chair of the American Board of Audiology. She and her husband, Dr. Tom Borton, are the only audiologists with ABA certification in the Montgomery area.

The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

r i ve r reg i o n b o o m . co m

February 2011



Intimacy After 50


By Joel Block

intimacy? IS THIS YOU? You may have noticed them sitting at a nearby table in a restaurant. Well-dressed, middle-aged, attractive, the man and woman exchange few words. When they speak, they look past each other as often as they look at each other. They are together, but they don’t connect. Most observers would rightly guess they’re married and have been for many years. You’ve seen them. In fact, you and your partner may be them. SEX WITHOUT INTIMACY Some couples don’t make the transition to a deeper level of lovemaking at midlife because one or both of them are afraid of becoming truly intimate with each other. Without recognizing it, they got stuck at the level of hormonally driven sex and are ready to give up on each other now that the wake of the roiling hormones has subsided. Sexual passion isn’t dead between them, but it has to be reached through a different path. If they don’t find that path, they have few alternatives: boring sex, no sex, changing partners.

CAN YOU SUSTAIN THE HEAT? “When Matt and I got married 25 years ago, we lived in the hot zone,” says Beth, 49. “Passion was everything to us. We sustained a high level of pure physical passion longer than our other married friends did, but gradually things began to change for us too around our 10th anniversary. The excitement wasn’t there, it was off and on. Then off, we couldn’t sustain the heat.

SAVING YOUR MARRIAGE BY BEING OPEN “Eventually he did the predictable thing. He left me when I was 40 for a woman half his age. Exhausted from being the drama

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February 2011

queen, I went into therapy where I learned we could probably have saved our marriage and our sex life if we’d been vulnerable and open to each other. But we didn’t; and I’ve moved on.

SECOND MARRIAGE `EMOTIONAL’ SEX “My second marriage is different, better. We are more connected to each other on all levels than Matt and I ever were. At almost 50 we’re having sex that is deeply emotional.” PASSION DOESN’T ALWAYS PREDICT PLEASURE While Beth shared explosive, lovemaking in the early years with Matt, some women,

with matching passion and equally avid partners, don’t have the same experience. When we envy the very young, we often forget that both genders have less sophistication than their elders. THE EROTIC POWER OF INTIMACY Beth was lucky, and even Beth says the sex is better now, the second time around in a marriage with a man who shares more than just his physical desires. What does that tell you about the erotic power of intimacy?

EMOTIONALLY DISROBING: NECESSARY FOR A QUALITY SEX LIFE AFTER 50 Being open with a longtime partner should be easy, but it isn’t for many people. Years of squelching their anger, denying their guilt and suppressing their emotions have left them afraid of being honest. To be honest is to be vulnerable. What if your feelings are rejected? What if your partner harshly judges and withdraws? Emotionally disrobing in front of another person is more frightening than physically disrobing, yet more necessary for a quality sex life during the middle years. The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

Intimacy After 50 That kind of intimacy will seem less fearful to you if you learn the following. Here are four ways to master mid-life intimacy fears:

1. Comfort yourself. Don’t make your life harder than it needs to be. Rather than waiting for your partner or someone else to notice you need a break, take it. “Comfort” doesn’t mean bingeing on food, drink or another substance, but finding ways of helping yourself feel calmer, quieter, soothed. 2. Stop taking your partner’s behavior personally. A partner’s tension, anger or sadness may have nothing or little to do with you, and you aren’t responsible for solving all the problems. And don’t assume his or her unhappiness or frustration is signaling, “No lovemaking tonight, dear.” Admittedly it’s difficult not to take a partner’s angry, defensive or sullen behavior as a form of rejection. A good strategy is to try talking the issue out. But, so that you avoid “catching” the negative mood, keep telling yourself: This isn’t about me. I didn’t cause it; and I’m not responsible for fixing it.

3. Turn off your own negative thoughts that inhibit sexuality. You may be angry about something that happened at work or unhappy with your body following a weight gain. Those negative thoughts make you too angry or uptight to be loving. Your partner may be more accustomed to making assumptions, “reading” you, often incorrectly, then asking questions and may thus assume the negativity is a “keep-away” sign rather than asking, “What’s really bothering you?” 4. Use your vulnerability to be a better lover. At midlife, we may be more comfortable with our own vulnerability and can therefore be more understanding of, and comfortable with, a partner’s insecurity and doubt. Expose rather than protect yourself emotionally. This openness will allow you to touch your partner in a more intimate way. Joel Block, Ph.D, is the Love & Relationships Editor at and the author of 16 books on sex and intimacy. He can be contacted at Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services.

The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

By Jason Rase

24...keeping it alive Both love and sex keep a relationship going. Love between two individuals cannot achieve fulfillment without sex and having sex with no feeling of love for your partner has no meaning at all. So, you have to keep both of them alive. How can you do that? Here are some suggestions: 1. Always make your spouse feel special. Keep on showering compliments on her looks and sexual charm. It will be quite rewarding for her if you tell her how beautiful she looks. 2. Surprise your partner by presenting flowers and other lovely gifts without any specific reason. These little things sometimes make a relationship worth continuing. 3. You two may have been together for several years, but don’t forget to take your spouse out for occasional dates. There’s seldom a better alternative than choosing an old place where you used to go often for a date. It will revive your salad days of courtship. 4. Make your dates as romantic as possible. You can light candles or play some melodious numbers in the background. 5. You can go for a long evening walk together. Don’t forget to hold hands while walking by the riverside or strolling through the country roads. 6. Jump into the bathtub with your beloved. Say cheers and sip glasses of wine while cuddling passionately in the tub. Having a shower together will be great to add some spice in your lives. 7. Regular physical contact (which may not be sexual) is necessary for leading a satisfying relationship. So, often touch and rub different body parts while relaxing. You can also massage each other with some aromatic oils. 8. Plant a goodbye kiss on his or her cheek while leaving for work. After returning home, greet your partner with a warm hug. 9. Sometimes, instead of going out, cook some homemade delicacies together and create a restaurant-like ambience at your home for having a romantic dinner, not to forget the flowers and candles! 10. Try to take some time out from your busy schedule to be with each other. Spending quality time together will make your bond stronger. 11. Be honest toward your work and never neglect your profession. Remember that if you are successful, your spouse will be the happiest person on the earth and the love for you will grow.

13. Give each other the respect you both deserve, because without mutual respect, love cannot sustain. 14. Two-way communication is required in any sort of relationship and in a marital one it becomes mandatory. Otherwise, how can you get a clear idea regarding the physical and emotional yearnings of your spouse? Love just flies out of the window if couples do not communicate on an intimate level. 15. Pay attention to each other’s needs. Instead of arguing, lend a patient ear to each other’s words. 16. In a perfect relationship, both of you are required to give some space to each other. This will help your love for each other to develop. 17. You may be poles apart, but there must be something common between you – some interests or hobbies. The thrill of pursuing a common interest is altogether different. So, look for the magic. 18. You can get into proper discussions with each other and seek suggestions for revitalizing your relationship. Put forward your ideas too, but don’t force things. 19. Don’t just declare your plans, but also demonstrate them in action. If you succeed in keeping your promises, it will surely draw him or her closer to you and make him or her love you more. 20. If you are annoyed at something, don’t keep your anger suppressed. Go and have a heart-to-heart conversation. 21. After stepping into a party, set the dance floor on fire together. Thus, you can enjoy some joyous moments of togetherness. 22. Always make each other laugh. Whisper some private jokes to enliven the mood. 23. Never eliminate sex from your list of priorities, because regular sex is as important as having food or sleep. 24. Stimulating the minds of each other is also necessary besides stimulating the bodies. So, try to stimulate her intellectually. Are you ready to experiment with these tips? You’ll create a new level of intimacy you both will enjoy! (c) 2008, Distributed by McClatchyTribune Information Services.

12. Help in making each other’s dreams come true. Try to understand your partner’s innermost desires, be it something personal or professional, and lend her a hand for realizing them. r i ve r reg i o n b o o m . co m

February 2011



Intimacy After 50

By Laura Meade

What Women Over 50 Crave

Men, if you’re over 50 and you haven’t gotten it by now, it’s time you realized that women are different than you. For the most part, when a man has sex his ultimate goal is well, you know. Everything he does during sex is geared to achieve it. Once he’s had it, he’s finished. He’s been a good lover. Good Night.

Women are not like that. What women crave more is love and intimacy. That’s very difficult for men to understand. Women enjoy the closeness and the feeling of having the man spiritually with her as well as having him inside her. Yes, women enjoy sex but sometimes, they say, just being with a man is enough. She wants to be held and caressed and told how much she is loved and appreciated. She wants to know she’s pleasing the man and that he loves being with her, and her alone. She wants to feel that it is she that is making him high.

FOREPLAY IS MORE THAN PHYSICAL A woman’s body not only needs physical foreplay before she is “in the mood” but her soul needs to be primed as well. She wants the man to feel it’s the sex with her that he wants, and not just the sex.

In those final few minutes she would like to hear him say that she was great and once more hear him say, “I love you.”

WHAT IS ‘AFTERPLAY?’ A woman doesn’t want the sexual experience to end with him being satisfied or even her. She wants him to remain for a while, both physically and emotionally. She wants that time so that she can fall even more in love with the man than she already is. If the man leaves too soon, he also will miss out on that opportunity.

SO WHAT DO MEN GET OUT OF IT? For one thing, a sexual experience that two people are enjoying is richer and more enjoyable for both of you. It’s never too late to learn that. If you care enough to want to have sex with someone you’ll feel good about truly satisfying her.

And keep in mind, a woman who enjoys sex more will very likely want it more often.

Laura Meade is the author of “How Women Can Get Everything They Want and Need.”

Still asking what you can do for your country? There’s another place where you can share your wealth of experience.


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February 2011

Life is calling. How far will you go?

The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

Diabetes Group Thursdays, Feb. 17, March 17 8:30am $25 Designed to give you up-to-date information on diet and exercise as well as individual meal planning guides. 334-293-8218

Heart Healthy Monday, Feb. 14 Noon-1pm 11th Floor Goode Bldg Free for My Hospital Card Members Presented by cardiologist Dr. John Williams. For more information on becoming a My Hospital Card member, click here. Cardiac Risk Screening Saturday, Feb. 19 8am-Noon Outpatient Dept, 2nd Floor Main Hospital $20 Screening includes blood pressure, glucose, total cholesterol, HDL cholesterol, EKG, body mass index, and a personal review with a cardiologist. Space is limited and registration is required. Click here to register online.

Lifesouth Blood Drive Wednesday, Feb. 23 8am-6pm Classroom 1, Jackson Hospital Jackson Hospital receives 100% of its blood from Lifesouth. Please help save a life by donating.

Get Fit With Our Community Welcome to, a social network designed to help you live a healthier lifestyle! Fitness tools, nutrition information, special bulletins, upcoming events, fitness testimonials, encouragement from friends and opportunities to encourage friends are just some the features of It’s no secret that waistlines in our society are expanding. Across the country, the percentage of us who are obese or overweight is growing. The health problems linked to too many pounds are also climbing. Juvenile obesity is on the rise as well. RiverRegionLean. com is a tool to help people add years to the life and add life to their years. Check it out! The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

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February 2011




{12 Things} for active boomers and beyond


Willie Nelson Concert Wednesday, February 9, 7:30 pm Tickets: $73, $53, $43, $35

Willie Hugh Nelson is an American Country singer-songwriter, author, poet, actor and activist. He reached his greatest fame during the outlaw country movement of the 1970s, and remains iconic, especially in American popular culture. Now in his 70s, Willie Nelson continues to tour and has performed in concerts and fundraisers with other major musicians, including Bob Dylan, Neil Young and Dave Matthews. He also continues to record albums prolifically in new genres that embrace reggae, blues, jazz, folk, and popular music. MPAC Box Office 334481-5100,, www.


Barber Vintage Motorsports Museum

Barber Vintage Motorsports Museum We are dedicated to the presentation, interpretation, exhibition and history of motorcycles, vintage vehicles and motorsports. Home to the world’s best motorcycle collection, the museum now has over 1200 vintage and modern motorcycles and racecars and the largest collection of Lotus cars as well as other significant makes. The collection is the largest of its kind in the world. There are approximately 600 of the 1200 motorcycles on display at any given time. These bikes range from 1902 to current-year production. The com-

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mon street bikes represented, as well as rare one-off Gran Prix race machinery. The Barber Vintage Motorsports Museum is located at the 740 acre Barber Motorsports Park that includes a world class 2.38 mile racetrack. 6030 barber motorsports parkway, Birmingham, Alabama. 205/699-7275


Tommy Emmanuel Monday, February 21, 2011 at 7:30 pm Tickets: $15, $23, $33

Two-time Grammy nominee Tommy Emmanuel is one of Australia’s most respected musicians. The legendary guitarist has a professional career that spans almost five decades and continues to intersect with some of the finest musicians throughout the world. A household name in his native Australia, Tommy has garnered hundreds of thousands of loyal fans worldwide. Tommy’s unique style – he calls it simply “finger style” – is akin to playing guitar the way a pianist plays piano, using all ten fingers. Rather than using a whole band for melody, rhythm, bass, and drum parts, Tommy plays all that – and more – on one guitar. Guitar legend Chet Atkins was one of the first to inspire Emmanuel to try this “fingerpicker” style as a child. Decades later, Atkins himself became one of Emmanuel’s biggest fans. MPAC Box Office 334-4815100,,


Montgomery Zoo ANIMAL ENRICHMENT DAY FEB 19, 10:00am – 2:00pm

GRAB A FRIEND, GRAB A BUDDY and head out to your Montgomery Zoo for Animal Enrichment Day. Animals, just like people, need to experience enrichment on a daily basis. We all need to try different foods, smell different scents, feel different textures, figure out puzzles, games,

and challenges. It helps us stay mentally and physically active and well. Here at the Montgomery Zoo, our animals receive enrichment on a daily basis. On Animal Enrichment Day, it is bigger, grander and we invite the public to join in on the fun. There is nothing like seeing a chimp open a suitcase of clothes and try them out. Or to see a lion rip open a faux zebra for the treat that is hidden inside. And the monkeys just love figuring out puzzles in order to score a nice ripe banana. For more information, please call (334) 240-4900 or check our out web site at


The Flag Maker of Market Street at ASF Fri., February 4 to Saturday, Mar 19

By day George Cowles is a respected Montgomery merchant whose store produced the very first Confederate flag. But by night, Cowles is a Unionist who is secretly running anti-Confederate meetings and supplying the North with vital military information. When a customer becomes suspicious of his activities, Cowles’ life and the lives of everyone close to him are placed in jeopardy. Tickets start at $30 and are available at the Alabama Shakespeare Festival box office, on line at www. or by phone at 1.800.841.4273. ASF is located at 1 Festival Drive in the heart of Montgomery’s beautiful Blount Cultural Park.


Our History, Heritage, and Culture: An American Story, The Art of Ted Ellis. Troy University Rosa Parks Museum Through February 24

Troy University Rosa Parks Museum will present the art of Houston, TX artist Ted Ellis in the exhibit “Our History, Heritage, and Culture: The Art of Ted Ellis” from January 13, 2011 to February 24, 2011 in the museum’s exhibit hall. Ted Ellis grew up in New Orleans and is able to blend realism with impressionism in his works. The subjects that he paints are inspiring, as well as nostalgic, depicting historic events form the The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

past and present. Ellis has strong ties to his community as well as a strong appreciation for the history of African Americans and he is able to evoke that to the viewer thorough his art. According to Ellis his art is “the history and story of my people – and it must be told. My way of telling it just happens to be visual.” For more information on this exhibit and on the programs taking place with it please contact museum curator Viola Moten at 334-241-8701.


ClefWorks Ignited! February 26-March 1 2011 Festival Featuring Fireworks Ensemble

Three chances to catch the fire! DANCE MIX February 26, 7:30 p.m., RSA Activity Center Put on your boogie shoes and listen as Fireworks Ensemble frolics, waltzes, swings and rocks through 700 years of music from around the world. AMERICAN AFTERNOON February 27, 3 p.m., Hampstead Farms Bring the whole family for a FREE Fireworks concert in the pastoral setting in the Hampstead community. RITE OF SPRING/NONE OF THE ABOVE February 28, 7:30 p.m., RSA Activity Center Classical gets a little crazy with this pairing of a rock-inspired reinvention of the famous Stravinsky piece and a Frank Zappa instrumental. Get more information and your tickets at


Music Man Troy University Davis Theatre February 8, 7 pm

Winner of Five Tony Awards including Best Musical, The Music Man follows fast-talking traveling salesman Harold Hill as he cons the people of River City, Iowa into buying musical instruments and uniforms for a boy’s band he vows to organize, despite the

fact he doesn’t know a trombone from a treble clef. His plans to skip town with the cash are foiled when he falls for Marian, the town librarian, with chaos ensuing as the townsfolk get wind of his scheme. Filled with classical musical fun, tender romance and favorites including “Ya Got Trouble,” “Seventy-Six Trombones,” “Goodnight My Someone,” “Gary, Indiana” and “Till There Was You,” The Music Man is the perfect AllAmerican Musical. For ticket purchases and Information 334-241-9567


Montgomery Pinot Festival Wednesday, February 23, 6-8 pm

For those who are unfamiliar with this event, it is a large wine tasting of Oregon wines with a special emphasis on Pinot Noir. Montgomery Pinot Festival is held in downtown Montgomery at 129 Coosa, a wonderful special event venue. Over 100 wines will be open for tasting, and many winery representatives will be on hand to talk about their wine. Ticket Prices (including tax): $27.50 in advance. $33.00 at the door (cash or check only, please) Tickets Available @ Ted The Wine Guy & Co., 3062 Zelda Rd, 395-9911 or


images document the subtle—and not-sosubtle—ways that people make their mark on the natural world.” For information, or 334.240.4333


The Wetumpka Depot Players

“First Baptist of Ivy Gap,” Through February 19

The Wetumpka Depot Players will usher in the New Year and their 31st season with two award-winning shows. “First Baptist of Ivy Gap,” written by Ron Osborne and the recipient of numerous playwright awards, Show dates and times are 7:30 p.m. February 3-5, 10-12 and 17-19 and at 2 p.m. Feb. 6 and 13. “Forget ‘Steel Magnolias,’ the mountain women of Ivy Gap are pure gold!” the show’s organizers say. Fans of last season’s “Second Samuel” can also see that charming show in its one-night-ony performance, on Feb. 25. B Flat and his colorful Second Samuel, Ga., friends, are returning for a special fundraiser performance along with South City Theatre’s cast of “Driving Miss Daisy.” For more information about the Wetumpka Depot Players and all ticket purchases, go to www.wetumpkadepot. com. The theatre is located in the heart of historic Wetumpka at 300 Main Street. For more information visit the website or call 334-868-1440.


Mardi Gras Bash February 25, 7-11 pm

Color and Light Photographs by Carl Burton Montgomery Museum of Fine Art Through March 13

During a thirty-year career as a professional photographer, Carl Burton has documented the distinctive landscapes of Europe and the United States with particular focus on New York City. His images record both splendid vistas as well as beguiling details. Because he works with a panoramic camera and large, horizontal prints, the viewer is enveloped by the environments that Burton records. The artist writes, “As I work, I’m dazzled by the beauty I see, by the intensity and quality of light, by color, and by the world’s evanescence. Indeed, as I look over my work, I realize that I’m trying to stop time and capture a small part of the world before it disappears or is completely transformed. Most of the New York images, for example, now serve as records of places that no longer exist. My

Please submit any events/pictures to

The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

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February 2011



A Little Help From Your Friends FRAZER SUPPORT GROUPS Noon Salad Luncheon with Dr. Don Hill Dr. Hill speaks on a variety of topics giving practical suggestions for living a successful life. The purpose is to provide coping skills to help when we are faced with a crisis. It is an opportunity to come and fellowship with others. Serving lines open at 11:15. Dr. Hill begins speaking at 12:15. Second Tuesday | January-May | Cost $5 11:15 a.m.-12:40 p.m. | Fellowship Hall

DivorceShare (ongoing) If you are beginning the process of divorce or have recently divorced, this sharing group will allow you to express your feelings, knowing that others experience some of the same emotions. Participation can continue for several weeks. A staff registration table is in the Fellowship Hall lobby beginning at 5 p.m. each Tuesday January 4 – April 26 | 5:30 p.m. Room number provided at registration

DivorceCare This 13-week group, more structured than DivorceShare, uses a workbook, videotapes and discussions for support and guidance as you work through the issues, pain and pressures surrounding divorce. Begin any week but complete all sessions before moving to another group. Registration table is in the Fellowship Hall lobby beginning at 5 p.m. each Tuesday. January 4 – March 29 | 5:30 p.m. | Book $15 Room number provided at registration Divorce Care for Kids (DC4K) This 13-week group helps children heal from the pain of their parents’ separation or divorce. Kids make friends with other kids who understand their feelings. Best of all, kids learn how God’s love can help turn tears to hope and joy. Cost $15 per child and pre-registration is required. January 4 – March 29 | 5:30 p.m. Room number provided at registration

Women of Hope Breast Cancer Support Group This group provides education, awareness and mentoring for breast cancer patients/ survivors, family, friends or anyone interested in becoming part of this compassion-

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ate journey. Second Tuesday | 5:30 p.m. | Room 8114

Fibromyalgia Support Group This group is for those that have Fibromyalgia and for the family members and friends of those with Fibromyalgia. For additional information, please call the church office at 272-8622. Third Tuesday of each month | 6-8 p.m. | Room 8114

Sjogren’s Support Group This group is for those with Sjogren’s disease and the family members of those affected by this disease. For additional information, call the church office at 272-8622. Third Tuesday | 6:30-8 p.m. | Room 3104 Grief Support Group This group is for those newly bereaved or those who have grief that has never been reconciled. There is no timetable for this process. This foundational group deals with stages of grief, the emotional storms that come with it, and ways of dealing with loss. Every Tuesday | 5:30 p.m. | Room 3105 A separate Suicide Grief Support Group for those with the unique challenges of grief in the aftermath of suicide meets at the same time.

Sunshine Outlives Storms - S.O.S. Sunshine Outlives Storms is a 5-week support group for children and youth, age kindergarten through 12th grade, who are going through painful transition through the death of a loved one. The children have an opportunity to express their thoughts and questions in a neutral and supportive atmosphere with a small group. Pre-registration required. Meets as Needed | 5:30-6:30 p.m. Room 6100’s

Alzheimer’s and Dementia Caregivers’ Support Group This group is for caregivers and family members of those affected by Alzheimer’s & Dementia. For additional information, call

the church office at 272-8622 First Thursday | 11 a.m.-12:30 p.m. | Room 3103

Depression/Bipolar Support Group This group is for those with Depression and Bipolar disorders and the family of those individuals. For additional information, call the church office at 272-8322. First Thursday | 7 – 8 p.m. | Room 3101 ADHD Support Group This group is presented by CHADD (Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder). The first hour is for parents of children with ADHD. The second hour is for adults with ADHD For additional information, call Joy Germanos 215-4428 or the church office at 272-8622. Second Thursday | 6 p.m.-8:15 p.m. | Room 8114

APAC – Alabama Pre/Post-Adoption Connection Support Group This group provides education and social interaction for adoptive families. For additional information, call Bridgette Gilley at 409-9477. Third Thursday | 6 – 7:30 p.m. | Room 8114 Parkinson’s Support Group This group is for those who have Parkinson’s disease and the family members of those affected by this disease. For additional information, call the church office at 272-8622. Fourth Thursday | 6 p.m. | Room 8114


The group will meet the second Thurs. of each month at First Methodist Church, 4-6 PM, refreshments and speakers will be provided. BOOM! wants to help you find support . This month we’ve listed some of the support groups offered at Frazer Church. If you know of support groups availble for people 50+, please submit them to Thanks for helping those in need.

The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

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rÊPreven talÊCance

It’s Your Health Get Involved!


IfÊyouÊareÊ50ÊorÊolder, GetÊscreenedÊforÊcolorectalÊcancer ColorectalÊcancerÊisÊtheÊ2ndÊleadingÊcancerÊkillerÊinÊAlabama. FindÊcolorectalÊcancerÊearlyÊbyÊgettingÊoneÊofÊtheseÊprocedures: • High-sensitivity gFOBT, iFOBT, or FIT annually • Flexible Sigmoidoscopy every 5 years • Colonoscopy every 10 years DoÊyouÊwantÊtoÊbeÊscreenedÊbutÊareÊworriedÊabout: • Transportation • Cost • Time TheÊFITÊisÊanÊeasyÊwayÊtoÊbeÊtestedÊforÊcolorectalÊcancer: • No need to change eating habits • No day off work • No need to change medications • Done in privacy of your home • No liquids to drink • Mail back in a few days ThisÊtestÊisÊcoveredÊbyÊMedicare,ÊMedicaid,ÊandÊmanyÊhealthÊinsuranceÊplans. Also,ÊBlueÊCrossÊBlueÊShieldÊofÊAlabamaÊapprovesÊthisÊtest.ÊBeÊhealthyÊand celebrateÊyourÊlife!

AskÊyourÊdoctorÊaboutÊscreeningÊoptionsÊforÊcolorectalÊcancer,ÊincludingÊtheÊnew take-homeÊtestÊcalledÊFITÊorÊiFOBT.Ê(IfÊyouÊareÊatÊhighÊriskÊforÊcolorectalÊcancer, youÊmayÊneedÊtoÊbeÊscreenedÊmoreÊfrequently.) ForÊmoreÊinformation: talkÊtoÊyourÊdoctor, emailÊ, orÊvisitÊ


BOOM! February 2011  
BOOM! February 2011  

The River Region's 50+ Lifestage Magazine